1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:28,800 The 2 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:58,800 - Robbie Keane with the chance Keane takes it and scores! Poland and the Ukraine, are you ready for us? 3 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:08,780 " 4 00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:38,780 ## ########################################################################################################################################################################################################################## 5 00:01:38,780 --> 00:02:08,780 You can't do it, you can't do it. 6 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:38,780 The greatest football team in Ireland's ever seen The bald Robby Keane and Trapatoni Boo says we won't go far French toast is off the jar Buzz is riding in the blarts We back to Kessel there Forgive me gin colonic Make them supersonic Don't bar me from the fullest Go easy on the tonic The Jack is still the king The deepest ocean I'd swim Can't help the state I'd have been on the rock You're rogue to Poland Once you three for five Hunt the hare and turn it down 7 00:02:38,780 --> 00:03:08,780 The Written 8 00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:38,780 You're talking about what's the road and all the way to the pool and wax from the heavy air! 9 00:03:38,780 --> 00:04:08,780 You bought that man 20 euros worth of pints last night. You can't trust anyone anymore. Salmon, you could have got something a bit less alcoholic. You see this, you're balling, Thursday. You've gone soft. You won't take a drink and you wonder why we don't play. You cannot have a sober man on the pitch. It's not me who made up the rules. If you're out there sober, you're a danger. It's not safe for your team. It's not safe for the other wankers on the pitch. He's only being sound. Can you imagine if Barry Macy was fucking refereeing? Don't even start. You wouldn't kick a ball if you passed the breathalyzer. 10 00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:38,780 - How depressing. There's no women, there's no work, and no crack. Not like the crack these boys are having. See, the one bit of good news is that Ireland have qualified for the Euros out in Poland. And if I was any right man, I'd be out there too. But A, my mates are fucking useless, and B, I'm skint. Last time we qualified was years ago. My uncle Mick was out there and he said it was grey crack. 11 00:04:38,780 --> 00:05:08,780 He's like a cross between Liam Neeson and Samuel Beckett. Man's a fucking legend. This didn't take me back 24 years. Germany, '88. It is where the time of our lives. Sure, Germany wasn't ready for us at all. And they were never ready for the fucking 80% proof of protein, either. Except when the boys brought over a couple of gallons of protein. And we're selling them off in small little bottles to the Germans. We were making a small fortune until we got collared. Lucky enough, I could see by the old Sergeant Major's nose that he was fond of a drop himself. I gave him a liter. You know what he said? Fair play to you lads. He gave me a tap in the back and says, "Oh yeah." 12 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:38,780 -- I'm in here. It's Greg. Bell's door. Press now. Hello. That's the Greg. Is your brother in there? He's committing himself to rehabilitation, clinic in Galway. For? For addiction to hash. Do I look like I came down in the last shower? Addiction to hash. 13 00:05:38,780 --> 00:06:08,780 being a bit fuckin' harsh. 14 00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:38,780 -- You're meant to be the hired goons, boys. I don't hire blubberpuss and Edward Leatherhands for nothing, man. Top dollar in paying ye. And there is the final whistle, the final score in Poznan. Bitter, bitter disappointment. Ireland 1, Croatia 3. Yeah, but look at the crack the boys were having out there. You see the lads sucking on one's tit. I want my team to win, not lads sucking on tits. You can suck on tits any day of the week. Only a few seconds in and we're a goal down. We're absolutely shite, man. 15 00:06:38,780 --> 00:07:08,780 . Buzz, is that you? Yeah, baby. I thought the place I'd been broken into. Burglars. All right, so... Come in. Looking for something. Buzz, do you want a cup of tea? No, I'm good, thanks, man. Buzz, do you want a cup of tea? Yes, please. How about your mate there? Please, one sugar. 16 00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:38,780 . 17 00:07:38,780 --> 00:08:08,780 . - What? - I'm not a man. - You're just a man. - I'm not a man. - You're just a man. - You're just a man. - You're just a man. - No, you're just a man. - You're just a man. - You're just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - You're just a man. - I'm just a man. - I mean, it's just a man. - You're just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - You're just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - I'm just a man. - What? - You're just a man. - I'm just a 18 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:38,780 and you're just as much as you can. - That's right. 19 00:08:38,780 --> 00:09:08,780 and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and go up and 20 00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:38,780 ... They're so beautiful ... 21 00:09:38,780 --> 00:10:08,780 . It's boring. That's what it is. We should be out there with the rest of them on the way to Poland now, sitting round here like a gang of wankers, Clims and Leeds. More shit talk out of you, Eddie, is it? Yeah, shit talk, is it? It's not shit talk, boo. Are it? It's fucking pure muck. Is it? Yeah. You remember going to Dublin, Ibiza, America, and now we're off to Poland. What's wrong with your bits and pieces here? It's different this time. How? Completely fucking different. How is it different? How is it different? It's a matter of national pride this time. Your country needs you. Why? Your people need you. Your country needs you. 22 00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:38,780 and learn from the British. 23 00:10:38,780 --> 00:11:08,780 on amarillo unanko yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo 24 00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:38,780 area to wine and dine chicks I brought back before taking them up to the fucking bedrooms located at the front, the rear and even there. It's good to make them feel like they're being wine and dine because then they'll do extra stuff to your jimmy. Vulva Zela, Jingle Bells, a wig. I'm just gonna be the biggest fan out there. Shitter. Now the bedroom. This is the clitoris of the vulva vehicle. 25 00:11:38,780 --> 00:12:08,780 "We made a mistake, Viper. We sell from Stateside. We'll drive a dry rush to your nails into each of his cocks, than spend three weeks trapped in a van with you. P.S. We took your 400 euro, which you owed us, you prick. P.P.S. 26 00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:38,780 are you. 27 00:12:38,780 --> 00:13:08,780 and you know about these frozen turkeys? 14 to 15 of them just thrown there in the aisle slipped on one banged my head off the other one it's like the fall of Saigon you know what a bizarre accident I know and do they know about the turkeys there? no they do not someone throwing a jacket over the CCTV camera you know isn't it awful terrible but look doctor I don't want to be jogged through the courts on this no I just want to 28 00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:38,780 on. 29 00:13:38,780 --> 00:14:08,780 is gone flat. The joke has gone flat. We've got a fucking ferry to catch in a few hours and I'm nearly crying. You're fucking me up, Dragon. You're fucking me up huge style. And by the time you get this, I'll be at Dublin Port. So please, if you can make it, do fucking come along. Well, Eddie, don't be breaking the door, would you? Waste of time, man. Told you it was waste of time. All you're doing is compare dick sizes with the Viper. Plus, you know, I'm not going to leave you mori, you know that. Fucking Moira. Oh, I have. 30 00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:38,780 What about the rule, Buzz? Soccer before sex. Bollocks. Sex before soccer, always. I'm having some of the best sex in my life. Well, it's alright for you to be off up the town. Pot in the pink. Yeah. Steve Davis down the brown. 'Cause I'm stuck here, bored out my fucking dream, man. Look at that bored, why don't you have salmon so to go off to Poland with you? The lad needs cheering up. Why would he want to go to Poland with salmon? The lad's boring as fuck. He just sleeps all day like an old slot. Why does he need cheering up anyway? He's in bits. 31 00:14:38,780 --> 00:15:08,780 It's not really, no. You just went to D.C.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E.D.E 32 00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:38,780 You need to go on. 33 00:15:38,780 --> 00:16:08,780 I'll help you in your hands. - Strong. - Poland? - Yeah. - Poland? - Yeah, Poland. Look, you don't even use it anymore. - I do use it. It's full of shit. I'm ridin' turkeys in it for killin'. - I'd have that cleaned out in the power holes in the jiffy. - But you can take that joke on the road. Go over 50 miles an hour and she'll overheat. And you've no reverse gear in it. - It doesn't matter, Nick. I'll find a roundabout. Look, there's a bit of money heading my way now, shortly. I'm not sure, but there might be. 34 00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:38,780 : If I get the fucking wheels, the dream is complete. You were there in '88. You know the crack is. Houghton and the boys. Stuttgart. Wonder Ireland ever qualified for anything these days. Hey! Eddie! Here. Take that with you. You'll need that for good luck. Thanks very much. And remember, the women in mainland Europe, make sure you check their Adam's apple. When you're in the middle of it, go straight. It's impossible to stop. 35 00:16:38,780 --> 00:17:08,780 . It all goes out the window. Gears raig. Good luck, Eddie. Good luck. Thank you. God bless you. Be careful. Hey. Go on. Go on. Ah, come on. Fucking shitzai. Come on, fuck. If you could see where I was now, you'd be fucking ripping. You'd be absolutely ripping. I'm fucking sitting 36 00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:38,780 here now, with a gang of lads. I'm sure Callum Best is here as well. A load of fucking women around me. They're asking me where my mates are. I was showing them fucking photographs of you and Dragon. They're all fucking going wild, hey. No fucking joke, hey. Please, man. Where are I? Please, why didn't you fucking... Why'd you leave me? You know? Please come along if you get this. 37 00:17:38,780 --> 00:18:08,780 And that's gonna take you a long time to get over that grief and it's a time for mourning and it's a time It's a time for heroes, Sammon. And that's why we need to show our respect to your late great auntie and take this show on the road 38 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:38,780 for me. Good to have some company man. Fucking lonely out. Been crying for 37 miles. Where you headed to? The next surface station will be sufficient. Fucking sound out. I'm heading to the fucking dam. Dam Busters. Gonna sell the boys a bit of fucking skunk pussies. Make a bit of fucking money. That's what I do. How about you? I am Germany's number one standard. 39 00:18:38,780 --> 00:19:08,780 . Thank you. 40 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:38,780 I have been thinking for a long time about going to Europe. Europe is there to be exploited by me. They're very liberal, they're a bit daft, the Europeans, with all this chorizo, with salami, with all Black Forest ham. I have a keen eye and I'm going to try and source some materials cheaply, bring them back here and sell them at a higher price. Speaking of finance, what happened to poor old Auntie Salmon? How did she pass away? They say it was the tea that killed her. The tea killed her? 41 00:19:38,780 --> 00:20:08,780 They gave me a ticket to the telly. How much did she leave you anyway? 1600. 1600, yeah? And tell me, do you have it all with you? I do, yeah, just like you said. And you definitely can get me a ticket to the Italy game. Tickets? To the Italy game? Oh, yeah. Not a problem, man. Don't you worry about Buzz, man. I'm the alpha male of the group. You'll do what I say because you're my minions. Yeah, do you believe that? What are you on about minions? 42 00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:38,780 You're coming out, what's the crowd? Er... Come on. I dunno, I dunno. Come on. Well, Moira's gonna come over now in half an hour for the hour. Look, look, look, look. Moira! You still going over here, are ya? We're gonna try out a few new moves. Listen to me, Buzz. The amount of women on the continent, you blow the beans even just thinking about it, man. Look at that. Where'd you get the cash? Don't you worry where I get the cash. Myself, Salmon and Naboo are here, man. 43 00:20:38,780 --> 00:21:08,780 In the days of me, have a fast wank. Go on, drain the spuds. And you come back out here and you tell me you don't want to go to Poland. All for you, baby. I'll have a fast wank. Oh, go away, go in. I'll pack the clothes. Right, hold up, hold up. It's amazing how you don't give a shit for women after you have a wank. I only make jokes for payment. Payment is transaction of money exchanging hands. 44 00:21:08,780 --> 00:21:38,780 It's not payment. I've got a joke for you, man. What did the Irish lads say to the fucking Germanian lad? I give up. Get out! Get out! What have I done? I can't wait to do a bit of old manual labour. To get the old hands dirty. Good for the old soul. You'll love the work, Toshy. I'll do a bit of grafts, I will. But, eh, you have an awful lot of bags for doing a bit of graft. That's right. You've got sleeping bags and stuff. What's that all about, Blake? I've got your passport, Alex. What do you mean you've got my fucking passport? 45 00:21:38,780 --> 00:22:08,780 and I've been bending the truth a little bit. We're going to Poland, man. That's fucking kidnapping, man. Snot. Snot. But so much for Salmon's patriotism. That lasted as far as the petrol station in Bala Hadrian. 46 00:22:08,780 --> 00:22:38,780 . Oh, you. The police aren't going to fucking come and get me. No. Let's fucking lock and load, get the joints out, because we're going fucking smoking. Lovely. This is a nice one. What does it do? It makes you stoned. Shriken you up, man, shriken you up. Fuck them. All right. 47 00:22:38,780 --> 00:23:08,780 It's the strongest, isn't it? You going for pints? Oh, do you want a pint? Put it up, man. Didn't hear me. 48 00:23:08,780 --> 00:23:38,780 for fuck's sake, she's overheating, lads. Oh, god. We'll have to give it a few hours to cool down, like. And make fucking warn me. I don't even know where the fuck we are, lads. Oh, well, I know where we are. I know where we are. Oh. Huh? Oh, nice one. Where are we now? 49 00:23:38,780 --> 00:24:08,780 The map! Of land! Of fucking Germany, Buzz! Who's to say where we're gonna get lost? Is it just me or does this make you feel lonely? Depends how you feel. Fucking Stateside and Dragon, they'd give me a text to say that they weren't fucking... they weren't bothered about coming over but no Stateside. No. If you can make friends around these places, that'd be fucking sound out. Savage like. You try. 50 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:38,780 - I have, but I'm just looking at your prices. I've got a bit of stuff there if you want. It's not allowed that you sell your stuff here to people. I've got this stuff called closet up in Schligo. Makes you think you're locked in a fucking closet, man. Sell it on the street, but not here. There's gonna be no cops in there, though, is there? No. When are you getting smarred? I don't know if you can hear me over there. I'll ask you one more time. If you do it again, I'll throw you out. 51 00:24:38,780 --> 00:25:08,780 - Watch this, watch this. Do you wanna buy something? Stop. What's the thing? Don't fucking touch me, man. You're only being fucking friendly. I'm only being fucking sour. I'm only being fucking sour. Oh, God, Simon. You fucking pig. Man. 52 00:25:08,780 --> 00:25:38,780 - Ohh, how are you love? How's tricks? Yeah, listen, I can't talk right now. Having a good go though, aren't you? Fuck off. No, no, no, not you, not you. I am awful sorry about leaving, but like, it's kind of like a business trip. Don't be getting thick, eh? Listen, you know what? My heart has feelings for you. I'll send you a picture of me now tomorrow, right? Good luck, goodnight. What's happening? Stop that. Hey lads, since we're doing this, 53 00:25:38,780 --> 00:26:08,780 What's a-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué-qué- 54 00:26:08,780 --> 00:26:38,780 - She'd catch something just from the sound heat. 55 00:26:38,780 --> 00:27:08,780 for them all that year. Cheers, Eddie. You cannot come to Europe and not go to Amsterdam, you know? I came up with the idea. It's where you suggested it. We've been on about this since we're fucking what? Yeah, since we're like 12-year-old men. No, no, I'm granted, man, I'm granted. I'm going to mention what you want. What's happened to you, man? She used to be a fucking hard cock. I'm sorry, lads. It's just for me own sanity, like, you know? Harry used to love that shit. But she ain't getting fucking baked. I have to fucking do it. 56 00:27:08,780 --> 00:27:38,780 - He's a soft cock but I have business to do. I don't want to be going around the place monched out of it. - Like what? - I'm going doing a bit of business. - Oh yeah, business is it? - I'm not doing that, I have business, I promise you. - Don't pay too much, hey. - He's going to see a dog about a man, is it? - A man about a dog, yeah. - Going to see a whore about a cock. Did I just really say that? - Huh? Did you just wake up? - You're big, you're three, man. 57 00:27:38,780 --> 00:28:08,780 is just to be strong. 58 00:28:08,780 --> 00:28:38,780 - You okay, man? - No, I'm sorry. - Where you going? - Staying, I'll stay. Is your mind leveling? Is your mind... - You just don't. - You just don't. - Where you going? 59 00:28:38,780 --> 00:29:08,780 ... Stretching the legs. Are you pulling the Jimmy White? You going for our own Frank here? I don't know, man. He's baked. Huh? He's pulling the Whitey. You all right, man? Is this your first time in the dam? Yeah. I'm just on the way to Poland, man. The boys are green. The boys are green, you know? You need anything? Yeah, a glass of water if you got one, man. Or just... 60 00:29:08,780 --> 00:29:38,780 . - You're not your fucking mother, yeah? - No. - I mean, do you need anything? I've got some excellent pills. Everything you need on an MDMA base, maybe. Man, they're beautiful. Five each. Take 10, I'll give you two more for free. - That's a lot of work, man. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. - Good afternoon, sir. Can I help you? - Good afternoon. I'm a bit nervous. By the way, can I say to you, I have a lovely shop. - Thank you. - Now, is there much money to be made in this sort of business now, selling these toys? - I'm on my third port. 61 00:29:38,780 --> 00:30:08,780 You take these before you go to Poland. You don't want to fuck around with drugs in Poland. My friend of mine got caught with only a spliff. They threw him in jail with a baboon. Like a monkey baboon. 62 00:30:08,780 --> 00:30:38,780 for four key, huh? Yeah, they used to wrestle with it in the courtyard for bets for money, you know? So everything was full, so they threw my friend in with the baboon. Like a gorilla gibbon kind of a baboon. Like a baboon, man. You just sit there all day looking at my friend, and at night when my friend goes to sleep, tries to fuck him in the face, you know? Crazy, man, like... Oh, yeah, cheers. Yeah. Watch your back, man. 63 00:30:38,780 --> 00:31:08,780 - What would you recommend for a guy who has absolutely no chance of sex with a woman? No chance, I mean zero. I think you're too hard for yourself, you act really quite pretty. Oh Christ, no, no. I have a lot of sex, I have no problems in that department. Okay. I'm on about those lonely guys back where I'm from. I think I can make a bit of money like, out of them getting no sex like. Good. What would be the best companion for them? What's the best, the best, the best stuff? 64 00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:38,780 It's not too much. This is what you're looking for. Yeah, how does that work? What's that? Hey, man, you gotta love the old river, don't you? The old schwan. The old water, man. It's kind of peaceful, isn't it? Tranquil. Do you want to see tranquility, do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take that. What the fuck? What the fuck is that, man? It's whatever you want it to be. What are you fucking jack-of-the-beast talk? What do you want me to do with it? Fucking take it, man. What's the matter if I take that? 65 00:31:38,780 --> 00:32:08,780 - Where's your willpower? You were the man who fucking said "Oh, I don't want a drink." If you don't want a drink, you're alright with that life. You'd be sore if you don't even want a drink. Go on, it'd be fucking madcracked. A pair of us, like the old days. - Sure, man. That's behind me. - Oh, fuck that shit, Torsten. Drop the act, man. Drop the act. You in Amsterdam. For fuck's sake. Why haven't you gone near 10 of you, though? 66 00:32:08,780 --> 00:32:38,780 and then she was down to her feckin' knees. - The other one, her knees were popping out. See that? - No. - She couldn't, she should be fucked when she's 50. - You're too scared. - You're talking rubbish. - I'm not talking rubbish, I'm talking truth. See them. - What about that other one you were chatting? - She had wisdom teeth. - You're too chicken. - I'm not chicken. - I think you're a bit scared. - Scared? - Here, I'll pay it for you. - What? - When you go down. - You're gonna pay me for a gun in? - Yeah, go in. - Yeah. - Go in. What's stopping you? - Right, I'll go in slow. Do you want me to go in? - Yeah. - Right. 67 00:32:38,780 --> 00:33:08,780 . 68 00:33:08,780 --> 00:33:38,780 - Hey, hey, go in. - Hey, hey, when? - Is your first time here, Nikolai? - Huh? 69 00:33:38,780 --> 00:34:08,780 I like, I prefer a pint of stout myself. You want to touch me? Why not? Yes. It's a fine jockey. What size is that one? I'm 38. You look about 35. Do you want to see a press-up? Oh, baby. No, no, no. I'm just showing you how to do moves. I'm just showing you how to do... No, no, don't. You know what you are? You're bloody romantic. I know. It's okay to be shy. Yes, do it. No, no. Listen, listen. Try one time you lie. 70 00:34:08,780 --> 00:34:38,780 I just want to talk to you. No, no, put that away with you. No, please, please. I just want to-- can I talk to you? Can I just talk to you, please? Can you back up one second, please? Please. I'd pay big money to leave me alone, please. 71 00:34:38,780 --> 00:35:08,780 . 72 00:35:08,780 --> 00:35:38,780 I'm going out with a woman in Ireland, right? Yes. Her name is Myra. Now I'm... I don't know if I'm hungry or not, but I feel like something's missing when I'm away from her. Do you ever get a feeling in your heart where you feel very hungry? I'm going out with her and I don't like to cheat on the woman. What's the story with them yokes? Are they fake? Christ above, it's like a boiled egg. It's like two boiled eggs. No, I can't be looking. I can't. No, no, because me girlfriend... That's it. That's it. That's all I can do. So if anybody comes in here next, will you tell them that I had sex with you? 73 00:35:38,780 --> 00:36:08,780 - If lads come in here and say was Buzz any good with you or that lad was any good just say he was flat out. Just say he was pumping like a madman. Do you know what I mean? If you could do that like I'd be fierce pleased. Can I hug you? You're sound right? I'm sound. Our buddy, buddy, buddy. Sorry. Where are you from? Canada. Do you mind if I ask you a few personal questions? By all means. Right, right. 74 00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:38,780 and you get into the mind of the sexual beast. Down in this red light, how much on average would you spend? What would that be in Canadian dollars? And you're female? Yes. Now, what flavor condoms do you like? A blowjob in a can. Blowjob in a can, yeah. What do you make of them? This big to about this big. That's nearly an arm's length. That scares me, that kind of crack. Oh, it scares me too. Lady boys. Thank you. Are they all they're cracked up to be? 75 00:36:38,780 --> 00:37:08,780 You're not going to get on and watch out, saying you're gonna kill us all. That's the way it's finished in Gdansk. Spain 4, Republic of Ireland 0. It's been tears of disappointment that will be shed by the Irish support who has always been magnificent. Fucking hell. I've landed on my feet here, hey. 76 00:37:08,780 --> 00:37:38,780 on a pet crab called Colin. Left the gaff, had a homing instinct. The crabs, they like to scuttle towards the sea like, you know. But got as far as Balanay on a Saturday night and he got fucking smashed out of it. Eight lads kicking the fuck out of a crab. Cried my heart out. But less the tears, more wine. No more wine. No more stories. 77 00:37:38,780 --> 00:38:08,780 . How about the street of us get busy? Fuckin' hell. This is like a dream come true about wanking. You wanna watch me and Candy first? Money up front, sweetheart. You're all right. You can have this one for fuckin' free. Sorry? Yeah. No. You pay us. Pay what? Fuckin' paid your attention all night, man. Don't fuckin' bear. You're having scoops. I was footing the scoops, man. I don't think you understand. 78 00:38:08,780 --> 00:38:38,780 I don't think you understand. If I wanted to pay for sex, I'd go down the fucking RLD, the red light zone. But you never know what the fuck you might catch off one of those prozzies. You dirty piece of shit! 79 00:38:38,780 --> 00:39:08,780 "where the fuck? Oh God. Hey, where the fuck are we? Where are we man? Come on, up, come on. I haven't got-- I haven't got-- We've got caged man. We've been fucking-- Hey! Hey, hey, keep it down man. My head is fucking banging. Was I drinking last night or what? Hello? Hello? 80 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:38,780 - Lads - What the fuck happened last night? - Back from night of riding are you? - Night of riding? No, no, there was no riding on my part. - Actually, we seen you talking to every knob handler in town. - I might have been out all night with prostitutes, but I promise you there was no sex. All research. - Now what did you get up to? - Simon, tell him. - I went into one damn woman and she was washing the flute and blew the load. - All over himself. - I wouldn't mind, but that cock wash cost me 60 quid. 81 00:39:38,780 --> 00:40:08,780 - Oh, that's depressing. - Oh, that's depressing. - All down, his legs and everything. She was a mess. - Have you seen Eddie and Frenchy? - I was wearing them all night. - No answer. - Come on. - Fuck off. - No, freak. Come on. Fuck's sake, man. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - What's going on? Who are you people? Why did I wake up in a fucking cage? - My name is Dominic and this is my club. - What does that mean? Is that where we're in a nightclub, is it? 82 00:40:08,780 --> 00:40:38,780 - NICE! 83 00:40:38,780 --> 00:41:08,780 - Any chance you can borrow me a copy of that? - Yeah, you had a nice time, huh? - Yeah, don't remember any of it, though. - My champagne and women are very expensive. - Yeah, so we can see. 84 00:41:08,780 --> 00:41:38,780 and then I have to do some shit. So how are you going to pay for all this? You can't fucking keep people locked up in the cage like. We talk to the boss in the place. And we get this sorted. And us? Yeah. You're talking to her? Oh my fucking head. Look, we just want to go to Poland to watch some football, right? Hey, hey. Fuck. Give me that back, man. Give me that back. Like, can I at least get an aspirin or something for me headache 85 00:41:38,780 --> 00:42:08,780 on. 86 00:42:08,780 --> 00:42:38,780 on my little mounastashy. So where'd you get it? New business venture, baby. Beer, is it? Open it up. And that baby's gonna make me a lot of money. Blowjob in a beer can. Genius. Have you done it? No, I don't get high from me own supply. The boys back in Castletown are gonna go apeshite for that stuff. Plus you can wash it out in the dishwasher. For single lads. That could be your best friend. Ah, lads. I hear they are now. Where are we lads all night? Huh? Don't ask. Why? Let's just get the fuck out of Dodge, man. Did you catch gonorrhea? 87 00:42:38,780 --> 00:43:08,780 Yes, I wish. Saddle up, we're going to Poland now. Here, one thing about Poland, Croatia hammered us, did they? We got hammered, yeah. And Spain, like, they absolutely annihilated us. Ah, sure hear, hey. Spain are fucking class that's scoring the best soccer goals a man can see. And what's the crack with them Italians? They're probably fairly handy as well. Look, it doesn't matter about beating them. We're not going to beat them, right? And even if we did beat them, 17-2, it wouldn't matter. We won't qualify. Doesn't even get us through. The team are gone. So you're saying let's leave Amsterdam and all the crack that's here to go off, no offense to you, 88 00:43:08,780 --> 00:43:38,780 - I'm gonna go to your van. Can you give me a few minutes, Grace, here? I'm going to go downtown. More message from the boo, lads. Saying what? Football and Poland are shit things. Look after dildos 'cause playing does not take. Gone to fucking Mayo. He's gone, lads. 89 00:43:38,780 --> 00:44:08,780 in the Boone. Boo. How dare he just fucking swan off like that, leaving us with his box of fit. Never mind the Boone. I want to talk about you and the writing you were at last night. Yeah, they were lovely. Got chatting to them, went back home, gave them the gift of the gammon. Yeah. God bless you. That was the end of us. What's in the black bag then? One of their sisters lives in Poland. So one of them was Polish. Fucking Polish, Spanish, Dutch. What's the matter, Salmon? They were foreign. 90 00:44:08,780 --> 00:44:38,780 . We got chatting. They said, "Where are you going?" I said, "I'm going to Poland to watch the football." So she said, "Can you bring some stuff back?" I said, "Yes, I will." So now you're telling me you're doing favours for the ride? It's not like you at all. I'm dribbled. Where are the ottoe-go, man? You're talking dribble. I'm not talking fucking dribble. Why weren't you answering your phone, Sads? We left it in the past. We're in the past. Well, you lost him or left it now? Which one is it? You're two snakes in the grass here. Oh, don't do this to me. Don't do this to me! Fuck! Why, why, why, why? 91 00:44:38,780 --> 00:45:08,780 - Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why 92 00:45:08,780 --> 00:45:38,780 It's like that, right? Like that. 93 00:45:38,780 --> 00:46:08,780 For the lift is a fucking lift! Come on! Work the shaft! Hold it straight! Hold it straight! Thank me when you get a lift! I'll just hide in here! Come on! Keep it going! Keep it going! 94 00:46:08,780 --> 00:46:38,780 - What the...? 95 00:46:38,780 --> 00:47:08,780 and I'm not sure enough. 96 00:47:08,780 --> 00:47:38,780 with your own! 97 00:47:38,780 --> 00:48:08,780 You'll be like fucking shit to a lolly stick. Yeah, I like it I like it so much. I'm gonna give you a present for the back of the van. Fuck off. Oh, yeah, you'll love it. Slow down, man. You will love it. My other right is your mother. Fucking, hey, there's gonna go class in the bumper, man. This is gonna be deadly, boys. I swear to fuck. Hey. Ah. You meant to, you have to sit. 98 00:48:08,780 --> 00:48:38,780 It's gonna look class on the side, hey! Ah-ha-ha, hey! Very funny, lads. No fuckin' need for that, lads. Eddie! Ah, Durkin, come back, hey! I could not put the fuckin' sticker on if you're movin', hey! Come on, Reptard! 99 00:48:38,780 --> 00:49:08,780 I twisted my fucking ankle there man I can't see where I'm going. Please wait up Francis come on come on vapeer you'll just drive off again 100 00:49:08,780 --> 00:49:38,780 you're just a little bit of bullying. Come on bigshot. Bullying fucking hurts. Come on. We'll do a bit of arm wrestling. Fun's over, guys. It's only starting. What do you mean? I don't care anymore. 101 00:49:38,780 --> 00:50:08,780 - Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I've got a spare ticket to the game, boys. You can drive off and none of you are gonna get it. Hey, did you hear me? Yo, barbecue, Buzz. Yeah. Can he fucking beat us? The BBC, boy. You can't beat us. Heel to the chef. Is that what it is? Yeah. That's it, eh? Listen, I'm sorry about bullying you earlier on. I've only done it for the Goodyear Hilt. Hey, that was a savage bit of bullying. I knew you'd appreciate it. 102 00:50:08,780 --> 00:50:38,780 I'd have done the fucking same to any old cunts, you know? What's the deal with the football ticket? Geez, you're fucking well, that wasn't really handy. No, we're mates. I don't know, I've just been fucking keeping them and thinking about who deserves them the most, you know? Yeah? Keeping that as leverage. As long as I get it, like, cunts are gonna do whatever I want, basically. Don't tell them that to me. No, I won't, I won't. Class bit of cook in there. Dorshtein. Where's the package? It's safe. It's under. 103 00:50:38,780 --> 00:51:08,780 - Good. This is all we need to do, right? Be chilled out and cooled going across the borders. That's all you need to do. Wouldn't that be better if we just told the rest of the leads? No. If someone gets wind of this, he'll shit himself. He'll be on the first plane out of here. And then there'll be no more fun than this trip. How can I cope with all this pressure, man? Look. 104 00:51:08,780 --> 00:51:38,780 One, I'm sorry. 105 00:51:38,780 --> 00:52:08,780 - 106 00:52:08,780 --> 00:52:38,780 - French to us, what's going on? - What the fuck do you want, man? - What's happening? - I'm going for a shit, man. The toilet's blocked. Kill a man not just get a bit of fucking privacy. What do you want, man? - I want to know what the fuck's going on between yourself and Eddie. - Huh? There's nothing going on. - There's some fucking dodgy shit going down, boy. - Honestly, there's nothing going on. 107 00:52:38,780 --> 00:53:08,780 with no dodgy shit's going on, so. I will, yeah. Come on, say it. What? Say it, I swear on my mother's life that I, Frenchworth Tool and Eddie Durkin have no dodgy shit going on, and you'll get this back. Say it, Tosine. Do you want to wipe your bum or not? Eh? To pay off the debt, we're just going to get that across the border to Poland. Fuck me. The hash? Yeah, shh, shh. There's about... 108 00:53:08,780 --> 00:53:38,780 - I don't know how much is there. Some crazy Dutch milf that wants to make money off the football fans. Right? We've got to drop this to some guy called Roman when we get to Poznan. Fuck that, we'll just sell it at all, mate. Okay, she's got her mobile phones. And? Yeah, she's got her contact details. She's got her mother's contact details. She's got her father's contact details. She's got her cousin's contact details. Right? If we don't get this to Roman in the next two days, her hardman will be on the next flight home to Ireland. I'm kind of scared, but I'm turned on at the same time. 109 00:53:38,780 --> 00:54:08,780 - What? Listen, the reason Eddie didn't want to tell you is because he told you to get all paranoid at the border. Yeah, and because he's getting chased around by a fucking milf. Toshin, listen, I've known you all my life. You're like a brother to me, and Eddie's like another brother to me. So two brothers you're like to me. You know that, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know all those of your back. You're always on my back. But if you get caught with this, I don't know you, okay? Make your poo. Why'd you have to go and tell me? It's not that kind of choice, like. We all have choices. Yes or no, you could have just said it. 110 00:54:08,780 --> 00:54:38,780 You said no, I won't tell you, but oh yeah, had to go and tell me. I wish back when I was younger I knew less stuff in my brain. Please, Simon. Fucking hell, man, would you stop snoring, please? This'll fucking shut him up. You won't snore again, hey. 111 00:54:38,780 --> 00:55:08,780 I'm going back to sleep now, counting some snakes. High fives. 112 00:55:08,780 --> 00:55:38,780 - Hello there. Welcome to my world. Won't you step inside? These boys are traveling with me and I own the van. But it's fucking brilliant, like, you know. I'm having a great time. Having a great time of it. You're scaring the girls, man. Go easy. They don't understand what you're on about. Do you know how to speak English? You can sleep there if you like. 113 00:55:38,780 --> 00:56:08,780 is that French, is it? No. Cards? It's like cards. Play shithead. Sorry, need to reach. Higgins. We'll crack on. That's another one of those fucking silly dildo. Stupid. Put that there. Come on, Ireland. And then if we're coming back, there's a fridge. Freezer. Shower. No, no, don't. 114 00:56:08,780 --> 00:56:38,780 There's no spy holes or cameras or anything like that. There's nothing weird going on on this bus. Not on my watch. Come on. Let's get back to the bed. Don't go back there, hey. Don't bring them back. Don't bother. Shut up. Listen, you're just jealous. This is where the magic happens. You never even had a chance to blow my vuvuzela. 115 00:56:38,780 --> 00:57:08,780 and the man the sky is gorgeous. It's lovely stuff, innit? It is lovely stuff, yeah. It's lovely, innit? Yeah, brilliant stuff. Why do you keep asking me about the hash, man? Why do you keep asking me about the hash, man? I've been here for an hour and I've been spent asking me questions about hash. Go on. There might be a bit of a story behind the hash. 116 00:57:08,780 --> 00:57:38,780 I fucking know well, I know what happened. Fair play to you. I told them. Well, I had to tell them, man. If you can't tell your mates, who can you tell? My mind is wrecked with all this drugs crack, man. Trust it, man. As long as Salmon and the Viper don't find out, we're still in the clear, man. Hey, hang on a second. What? How do you know that Bo's new? I thought it'd be fucking best if I told him. If you know the Jigs in the real, you told him. You're a fucking hypocrite. I'm not a hypocrite. You are a hypocrite. I'm the captain. 117 00:57:38,780 --> 00:58:08,780 - What the hell is that? - Buzzman! - You alright, mate? - No. - Do you need some help, Clay? - I might do, yeah. - What the fuck is wrong with your head? 118 00:58:08,780 --> 00:58:38,780 on the booze merchandise. It'll be alright. Just rinse it out. Better wash it up again. Eh, buzz. Screw the old sump at the bottom. Get rid of the residue. You're an awful gang of dirty pricks. How's the boo supposed to sell that now, second hand? Can you pull this off, please? No. Please, we're mates. No, no, no, no. Fuck ya. 119 00:58:38,780 --> 00:59:08,780 We're in the air, boys. Go back to your wanking later, g'la. Are we far from the British border? We're coming up to it now, man. I just wish I didn't know about that shit in the back. Look, we're in this together, right? Just be cool and relax. I am, right? Good. Because if we get caught with that hash, we're fucked. By police. By Dutch gangsters. 120 00:59:08,780 --> 00:59:38,780 I'm gonna take it all the boy's a game right French dust Frenchy yeah, we want to talk to you What you want? We nearly in Poland Jetter. What's the story? What the fuck is that in your face? What are you about? Oh my god look in the mirror the hell are you doing? 121 00:59:38,780 --> 01:00:08,780 - What the fuck is that? - Oh God. - It's like the little doodle I did on you while you were wet dreaming. - I'm gonna fucking kill you. - Yeah, it's pretty as fuck. Hey, pretty as fuck. - I hear Poland is very beautiful this time of year. 122 01:00:08,780 --> 01:00:38,780 - It's always very beautiful. Excuse me. Can we enter your ride to fine country now, please? No. No? We have to get on board for contraband inspection. Contraband? Hold it main. Yes. There are football fans traveling here these days. And unfortunately, 123 01:00:38,780 --> 01:01:08,780 . Many of them have been carrying things they shouldn't have. Sounds like a case of naughty boys with naughty toys. You're confusing us with the wrong boys, man. We're sound catholic lads. Like yourselves. So? Might have something on the fucking board that you might be interested in. Like, hey. 124 01:01:08,780 --> 01:01:38,780 I don't know what he's talking about. Here we go. What do you think of that Lobo? A gift from the gods. See, you have a little bit of a taste for the fine stuff. Take the head off. Yes. See, you're a man who likes the taste. Don't drink too much. Otherwise your head will be fuckin' coming off me too. 125 01:01:38,780 --> 01:02:08,780 You can't be sure. 126 01:02:08,780 --> 01:02:38,780 the drop off the stuff we're sound. Have you got the contact details? Yeah, yeah, I kept them in my socks for safekeeping. Come on, get them out there will you. No, no, not these ones, these are my spears. They're the ones, they were hanging a bit. All right, all right, all right. We'll go and get them then. Time was of death in this man. 127 01:02:38,780 --> 01:03:08,780 back. What? My socks. Have you seen my socks? Were they black, were they? Yeah, black socks. Aye, sure I burnt them at the barbecue last day. You burnt my socks? I burnt them. Set fires on them. Why would you burn my socks? They stank and I needed kindling along with a fucking vest and Salmon's crotchless breed. They weren't crotchless. The gusset came out. Fuck your gusset Salmon! Relax, I'd borrow you a pair of socks, man. I don't want your socks. I want my own socks. If I don't get them, the whole trip is ruined. You don't know what was in them socks. I should have never kept a bullet. I should never kept a bullet. 128 01:03:08,780 --> 01:03:38,780 : I can't give all into the first place! 129 01:03:38,780 --> 01:04:08,780 The price is a little bit long, but I'm not looking for it. 130 01:04:08,780 --> 01:04:38,780 I'm gonna stop it, but I'm never gonna give this up. 'Cause this is my life. 'Cause I'm a Trevor man. Let's get this fucking party started. Bye bye, Durkin. Bye bye, dickheads. Where are you now, Dragon and Sh'teadside, huh? Nowheresville. While I drive off into the fucking sunset with a shit ton of hash. He hasn't stolen that. He doesn't know about the hash. Unless somebody fucking told him. 131 01:04:38,780 --> 01:05:08,780 You told him. You grasped me up. Fuck you, you twat. Don't tell me. Oh, big man. Oh, big man. Off the drink. The chewie you fucking talking. Viper plus fucking caravan, multiply by hash equals you'll never see him again. Fucking hell. Why do I feel guilty? I'd have stopped smoking this fucking weed. I know the lads are fucking sounding. I know the hash, like, what do I do? 132 01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:38,780 It's a lot of course. I mean, I don't know if I get caught with the fucking hashmere gin. Them bits are very comfortable. Where the fuck did you come out of, you fucking... I was just having the kip down the back. What's a crack? Thank God. Where the hell have you been? Where are you, gobshite? Ah, hey. I seen fucking three bikini-hay clad women down there, hey. They just weren't there when I got there, though. Like some kind of sex mirage. For the love of God, let's just get going to Poznan. Let's just do this. Let's Poznan up. This is our time, baby. All aboard the Poznan ship. 133 01:05:38,780 --> 01:06:08,780 The leads of the company's not a full-time man who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one 134 01:06:08,780 --> 01:06:38,780 - That's all I remember. - That's all I remember. - The place is packed out with pubs. - It was, man. There was about 50 boobs shoved in my face that night. If I can't remember one of them, and believe me, I'm trying to remember that shit. - It's not my fault. - How am I supposed to fucking know the name of a bar in the middle of Poland? - A pair of clowns, lads. Do you know what I mean? - Hey, lads. Lads. - What? - Just call her own fucking mobiles. Call Dominique. She tells us where the drop-off point is. Bam, bam, bam. That should work, actually, yeah. - It will work. Simple. - No, we're a fucking pair of geniuses. 135 01:06:38,780 --> 01:07:08,780 in the phone, will you? My phone? Please. For our own charges. You tight bastard, man. You peel an orange in your pocket. Give us two. Two quid. Just give him the phone. All right. Zanzibar. 12 noon. Oldish. Well, how old are we talking? Right. OK. Yeah, yeah, I will. It'll be done, all right? We can fucking put this to bed. And that'll be the end of it. Right. Bye. 136 01:07:08,780 --> 01:07:38,780 - Itty man, I can't do it. What do you mean you can't do it? I can't do it man. We don't know what we're getting ourselves in for down there. Like what? I don't know, it could be like a sting operation. We're in a foreign country. No, I just want to get rid of this shit man, do you know what I mean? I just want to get rid of it. It calls me enough fucking hassle. Sick of it. Man, I'm just a simple lad from the countryside man. I'm not cut out for this crap. 137 01:07:38,780 --> 01:08:08,780 - Aisenberg! - Torsten, look. Just get an oven done with, man. I just go and do it meself, right? - Man, listen, I'll keep watch or something. - Well, come on, Saul. It's the least you can do. 138 01:08:08,780 --> 01:08:38,780 The nettles grow faster this time of year in Poznan. 139 01:08:38,780 --> 01:09:08,780 - I have your package, Roman. It's very nice, all the way from Holland. It's the best. You take now. It's all over. It's finished. I go home, you go. I say bye-bye. 140 01:09:08,780 --> 01:09:38,780 I'm gonna leave. Very, very good stuff. Good. Very good. Thank you, my friend. Lads, when I dropped that fucking thing off, I didn't think I was coming back. You know the way back at home, there's like... 141 01:09:38,780 --> 01:10:08,780 were like pillars of the fucking crime communities yeah many was there for the trade and I was just wearing up the crack right giving the package I said look that's the last you fucking here to me and I was actually fucking broomstick on my series I 142 01:10:08,780 --> 01:10:38,780 You have to feed us some bullshit story about fighting lads outside the bar and then it turns out you give it to the wrong fellow altogether and then you have the fucking cheek to ask me to go and fix your mistake with the Polish gangster. Listen Eddie, I'm not going to that fucking place right? They've no problem with you, do you know what I mean? It's meself and french toast they're after. You're on about being the leader all the time. Do you know? 143 01:10:38,780 --> 01:11:08,780 You're not, I'm useless, miss. I'm useless, all right? I'm useless. Is that what you want to hear? Because I'll tell you, I have no fucking qualms in saying I'm useless, right? I'm a gimp. My mother said it. Big Mick said it. Even your man yesterday at a sweet shop said it. I'm useless. Are you happy? No, you're not that bad. No, no, no, I am. I'm an asshole. I'm an absolute grade-a gimp, right? You're not? No, I made a balls of everything. I got him back on the drink. I was into all this mess in the first place. I mean, all I wanted to do was just come out and have a bit of football. I even made a balls of that, like. I just... 144 01:11:08,780 --> 01:11:38,780 I'll lose. You'll lose. You'll lose? Yeah, I'll lose. Man, you don't understand how much this means to me, Buzz. All I'm asking to do is go in, tell them to look at the CCTV footage. They'll see me, they'll see him, and he's probably a local. They'll get it back. Just tell us, Sam, you're going for a few pints. You know what? I reckon we're making a mountain over them all here, man. You know? You know when you'll probably end up having pints with them. 145 01:11:38,780 --> 01:12:08,780 , you like that, boys! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I hate you! Would you grow up? Please, please, come on! Stop the fuck! You must have no fear... I do. ...if you think that you can come to my country and... ...fuck with me. No, no. No one fucks with Roman. You feel me? I'm not trying to fuck with you, right? It was an accident. My friend, former friend, didn't get the hash to the wrong man. And you have just fucked. 146 01:12:08,780 --> 01:12:38,780 - was the wrong man. - I'll show you what an accident looks like. - Don't. Please, please don't. Please, you're hurting my dick. Just take my phone. Call Eddie. He'll sort it out. He'll get you the hash. Please take it away from there. I need that. - Okay. I prefer it. If you give me back what is mine, then I don't have to keep you so much screaming and begging and mess. - I don't like mess either. Just call him, please. 147 01:12:38,780 --> 01:13:08,780 : I don't see a daddy here. He's under knob jockey. Knob jockey. Knob jockey. Knob jockey. Knob jockey. There we go. I hope this fucking knob jockey can get you out of this. Listen to me, you fucking piece of shit. Hey, hey. Hang on. Don't leave me. 148 01:13:08,780 --> 01:13:38,780 What are you doing on this phone? Where is my hat? Listen, your henchmen in Amsterdam have Eddie's phone. Eddie has my phone. Ring my phone. Call Salmon's phone. Look, I don't know what the fuck is going on. You sent some monkeys to do a man's job. Call Salmon's phone. Salmon's. I'll call you back. Just call Salmon. So, now I call Salmon. He's under fish tits. Buzz, how'd you get on? Eddie, we're at the wrong end of a fucking gun range, right? 149 01:13:38,780 --> 01:14:08,780 and the next two hours with the hash for the money or we're fucking dead. What? Eddie, they're gonna fucking kill us. Are you serious? So you find the hash or you find the cash. If I don't hear from you in the next two hours, I begin to shoot your friends slowly. Starting from the feet, then the legs, the knees, and the bones. For fuck's sake. 150 01:14:08,780 --> 01:14:38,780 - - You have a long time to die, understand? - Eddie, don't fuck this up. Please don't fuck this up, Eddie. - See, don't fuck this up. - And Eddie, if you do fuck it up, listen, just tell Moore that I've got big feelings for her. That I love her. - So, two hours or I shoot them. - Dvorstein, Dvorstein, Dvorstein, put on your best clothes. - These are my best clothes. - Are they your best clothes? - Yeah, my best clothes. - Good, good. - All right, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna go down there to the square. 151 01:14:38,780 --> 01:15:08,780 . 152 01:15:08,780 --> 01:15:38,780 And only then, and only then, and only then, will we come up with a solution to this. So that's your plan? That's the plan. What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Our friends are gonna get shot. Shut up! What the fuck? Alright, alright, alright, but our friends are held at gunpoint. And you wanna go for a nice meal? Yeah. What's wrong with you? I'm fucking starving. I haven't eaten for two days, man. My mind's gone wild. 153 01:15:38,780 --> 01:16:08,780 I know, I know. I know, I know. I know, I know, man. I know, you're under pressure. Listen, man, if it's inspiration you're looking for, I know a place. For food? Christ, never thought I'd come to this. I know, kidnapped and shot at. No, you're telling something right that you love her. Bit gay, isn't it? I didn't fucking say I loved her, right? I said I loved things about her. Yeah, you did. Listen, Buzz MacDonald is no fucking woman, only his own lady. 154 01:16:08,780 --> 01:16:38,780 In the story. What if we call the police? Call the police? And tell them what? Oh, our hash deal went sour. They're bound to help us then, aren't they? I don't know until she's now confused. I feel awful about buzzing salmon being chained up in some dungeon being shot at. It's my fault I should be there. 155 01:16:38,780 --> 01:17:08,780 It's hard to be your fault. You're the one that meant the mistake. You know, maybe you should have offered exchange places. How good would that do anybody? Well, they'd get Sam and them both free in us. You know, there are innocent parties in all this. You're not innocent yourself, are you? You were there in Amsterdam. Lobbing it back like a suck calf. Couldn't get enough of it to carry on, could you? 156 01:17:08,780 --> 01:17:38,780 It's not the real me. I'm sound without the drink. If you're that sound to us, Dean, wouldn't you go and offer yourself up instead? I suppose you're right. You wouldn't really do anybody any good, would it? You wouldn't. No. You really wouldn't. Come on, I'm a powerhouse of a man! 157 01:17:38,780 --> 01:18:08,780 ! I'll lay a pipe, I'll build walls, I'll do anything! Come on! Don't kill me! Would you be interested in any butt plugs? I've got a van full of them! That's all Ireland's fault anyway. How is it Ireland's fault? Well, if we didn't qualify, we wouldn't be in this mess. I have it. I have it. I think of a solution to the problem. A solution? Yeah. What? 158 01:18:08,780 --> 01:18:38,780 What's this town full of? Lads, I need your help. I've got meself into some bother, fellas. Through my own selfish actions, I've ended up doing the worst deed ever. Getting my own friends into trouble for something I should have been man enough to fucking take on. If I was more of a man, I would have gone in and done it meself. But I bottled it at the last minute. And now me fucking mates are in bother, you know? I need help. Will I help you? I'm an Irishman. You're Irishman. 159 01:18:38,780 --> 01:19:08,780 You're just to throw some juicy whey behind some slaps 160 01:19:08,780 --> 01:19:38,780 : I'm not gonna die! 161 01:19:38,780 --> 01:20:08,780 - Well, that was the dream, but in reality, they all thought I was just some crazy ginger bastard shouting shit in the corner of a bar. Will you help me fight, will you? - You ever shut the fuck up? - Ah, right. So that's a no, is it? - Ah, some cocks in bits. - Stop going on about your cock. It's not like you'll ever use it again. - What, do you reckon that he's not gonna come through for us? 162 01:20:08,780 --> 01:20:38,780 on. 163 01:20:38,780 --> 01:21:08,780 : I just don't know French sauce, you know? I can't fucking think of anything. What are we gonna do, man? What are we gonna fucking do? I don't fucking know, do I? Fucking hell. I just don't know French sauce. Fucking stupid bastard! What's the crack? Come on, you boys in green. 164 01:21:08,780 --> 01:21:38,780 - F***ing football, man. We're in the f***ing place of football. The year of the f***ing football. Look at the f***ing face on you. Watch this. Vulvazela. 50s Lottie. Please don't. Football is back! Stop that shite, will you? I already put this up your arse. Don't you f***ing dare. Don't f***ing make me jingle, you. 165 01:21:38,780 --> 01:22:08,780 I'll fucking jingling you. I'll fucking put you in that lane. What the fuck is wrong with him, hey? You don't understand, man. Listen. You don't understand. You don't understand. Those lads are gonna get shot, you fool. Who the fuck's gonna get shot? Buzz and Salmon are gonna be shot. There was a hash deal that went wrong. We're supposed to drop off some hash for some Polish-- Hash? Yeah, hash to some Polish gangsters. Big fucking block of-- If we don't get it to them, they're gonna shoot Buzz and Salmon. Dead. They're gonna kill them, like. And I wanna fucking alarm you. It's 'cause I have a load of fucking hash. I stole your fucking hash. Listen, lads-- You have a hash? 166 01:22:08,780 --> 01:22:38,780 Wank mags, stuck it in a black bag and now it's gone. You need to tell me you swapped our fucking hash with a load of pornos which I gave to some stranger on the street. You fucking sneakily took off with that hash, did you? Yeah, but I fucking... We still got it, like, I've still got it, which means you have it. Do you have the hash still? I have the fucking hash. Don't do this to me, no. I have the fucking hash, yeah. You have the hash? Yeah. You do? Don't fucking talk to me that close. You beautiful bastard! What the fuck is wrong with you? You beautiful twat, yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you? You saved the day, and I hate to say it. 167 01:22:38,780 --> 01:23:08,780 - I saved Buzz's life, hey! Your best friend, I saved his life, man! Ah, here, hey Durkin, that lump of hash has got to be one of the worst kept secrets of all time, man! Serious, hey! You forget I have the senses of a snake, man! Roman! Roman! Of course, I'm not shooting your friends for 5,000 euro of hash, I'm not stupid, but this kind of 168 01:23:08,780 --> 01:23:38,780 is a great motivator, don't you think? Oh yeah, yeah, great motivation. He's also fun. Took out a joke now. How say a bit of crack? Sir, he's good all right, yeah. And there he is. Are we done now? Can we go home? I've been through too much shit. Are we done? Can we go home? Yeah. Yeah? After you give me a sock job. 169 01:23:38,780 --> 01:24:08,780 You do not to this. 170 01:24:08,780 --> 01:24:38,780 - Ah, finally, Ireland versus Italy, the last match in the group of death. So the result didn't matter a fuck, Ireland were out of the competition like. But what was important was the lads got together and supported them in a time of need, and that's what it was really all about. Being there and going the extra mile, that's what I'd learned. It wasn't about who the fucking alpha male was or who the minions were, it was about friendship. 171 01:24:38,780 --> 01:25:08,780 and go to the game, even if they weren't technically mine to give away like. 172 01:25:08,780 --> 01:25:38,780 You've got to give them away, man. Piper, you've caused us untold grief. You've also fucking lifted our spirits. Why ain't you giving a fucking ticket for? Don't worry about that. We're going to the fan zone. And that's the end of it. What the fuck am I gonna do? You're gonna have to fucking crack myself in the torch team. Sound. Come on. Piper. You're a sound old fucking asshole. Sorry, I'm only fucking... I'm an asshole 'cause I love you. 173 01:25:38,780 --> 01:26:08,780 - Hey, watch this. 174 01:26:08,780 --> 01:26:38,780 : 175 01:26:38,780 --> 01:27:08,780 It's a bit depressing, like... Cock is fucked. Yeah, alright? No, not happy at all. It's only two or three weeks now before she's working again. 176 01:27:08,780 --> 01:27:38,780 What's going on with the woman noishing in the room there? Well, she's on one of your sex toys, you know that purple dildo. I gave you that shit in good faith. So what can I do about it, like? You hardly got a receipt offered, did you? Well, I brought something back from Amsterdam myself. Is it a hurt when you piss? No, I got this, fellas. I'd love to see what this is. What is this? All I see is who are the million? Is that Ash? I don't know, you tell me. Oh my God. Oh my God. Where'd you get that shit off? Let's just say that's a little bit of commission that I got off my head. 177 01:27:38,780 --> 01:28:08,780 -- -- -- -- -- -- job well done, bye. Hey, in fairness lads, you're not the only one that brought something back for him, I am. I'm just thinking this little bad boy. No! 178 01:28:08,780 --> 01:28:38,780 - And songs to sing - A song only 'round the fields of Athens-Royne 179 01:28:38,780 --> 01:29:08,780 - So now the round of fears are back and right. Yeah. 180 01:29:08,780 --> 01:29:38,780 Thank you.