1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:30,000 That is a bit of the goal is to the next level. 2 00:00:30,000 --> 00:01:00,000 and you're finally getting a car, getting a H.C. lads Honda Civic proud moment, I'm proud of you man, fair fucking deuce to you Don't proud day in any man's life Are you nervous? You nervous? I couldn't sleep this night, but I'm feeling okay now What year is it? 97 is it? I fucking forgot to ask him actually, I don't have a clue That doesn't matter Doesn't matter really you know It's a car with big windows is it? I thought I'd seen you coming, boy Two grand I spent last year, and I'm the small younger How you fucking see it's high boy Smooth job altogether man Going solid in this butte are you? Yes please, I'll take two, hey 3 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:30,000 on the hood there man. What's your packing? Is this the engine? Where's the engine? Oh it's the front. Fucking sexy black curve lads. And these fucking flaps. You fucking have me on a simi lads. I love it. This is one of these German concept cars, is it? Convert or whatever the fuck they call it. Japanese. What would happen if you put a bit of green diesel into it like? You're doing a bit of sputtering out the back gap. Could you put like burnt chip fat oil into it? Would that work? If you converted it yeah. Do you know about that CSI would you? I have no complaints. Let's seal the wheels. 4 00:01:30,000 --> 00:02:00,000 It's a deal. Good job. We're happy out now. Is there any money in this? I haven't got time to stick around because I'm sending 10 spots down fucking Ballinthul. Me and the boys, this is stateside. And the dragon... he's a hard c**t. 5 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:30,000 I was at a Bon Jovi concert once lads. Yeah, you living on a prayer? Met the girl in me dreams. Yeah? Women. What does a man have to do round here to get a woman? And not making a complete balls of life like the way I always fucking do. Life is like a river, hey. New water's coming all the time. When you go to the toilet, you get rid of that water, and then you drink more water, and more water comes out again. What are you fucking all about? 6 00:02:30,000 --> 00:03:00,000 You're such an expert in women, Toshty. How come you don't have a woman? There's no fish in the river. What's your relationship with Eddie and Buzz? I'm not dating them, if that's what you're asking. They're pricks. I'm cool. They think they're fucking all in the town now that they've got a camera crew following them. Sorry. What the fuck is your phone going after? There's a fucking interview going on. Shit, sorry. I'm without the sun. You're right, you're right, you're right. 7 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:30,000 , I don't know why you fucking hang around with him, he's a prick. Come on lads, hurry the fuck up here, we have places to go right? Go away baby! I'm the fucking juice man! Go on Fridgey, go on Fridgey! Fridgey! Make sure he's bent the toes! Oh boys, that was some session wasn't it? It was. On a drop of sweatbuck. Just finish fiddling man. So are you man, so are you. 8 00:03:30,000 --> 00:04:00,000 - The bag I was in the toilet area there and I just checked the mobile. No spots anyways, I checked the old mobile and I got reminded. Speed dating uptown. In McGonagall's Bar and Lounge and Restaurant and Cafe Bar and Internet Cafe Bar and Bingo Hall. What's the work like? What happened? Two minutes with each girl having a bit of conversation and shit and there's drinks and stuff laid on. A whole lot like? Yeah, yeah. And can you get them drunk as they want like? It's your choice, I'm their choice. What's the story with yourself leaving there? 9 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:30,000 He's only fucking you about. You're jealous, you're jealous, and you're the most fucking jealous. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey 10 00:04:30,000 --> 00:05:00,000 of his anger from you being jealous. Why were you so fucking jealous? Listen man, I'm only looking out for you as a maid, right? Is there jealousy involved? What the fuck? Is there a bit of fucking jealousy involved man? You're fucking telling me. What's your problem, lad? I was in there, I was in fucking... in Castlereagh for a week because I was smashing wing mirrors on the cars around the town. So... Isn't that right, state-of-the-art? Tell me about it. What would you know about being inside? I was inside longer than you were. What were you inside for? 11 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:30,000 watching shitfilms my favorite gangster movies goodfellas haha because my attitude is just like theirs who which which fucking goodfella you fucking Mickey shit I don't I don't be asking for much but if I laugh with the lads maybe cause you up to an old woman 12 00:05:30,000 --> 00:06:00,000 The hell that pissed it away. 13 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:30,000 Ane' I know you. Do you mind if I put my hand there? Um, sure. You know, it's better to get to know each other first, at least. We're getting on good, are we? Well, you know, I kind of modelled myself in Pierce Brosnan. Really? The early stuff, you know what I mean? Like what? Like, Remington Steel. Love Remington Steel. You like Remington Steel, do you? Yeah. How are you, honey? What's good with you? How are you? What do you like? Movies are pints, sir. Well, I like the movies, Buzz. Yeah? Have you ever seen that film Titanic? It's a great film. What in the fuck was the driver playing at, like, crashing into the fucking sea? Or the boat, or the big stones? Letting the poor people off left. 14 00:06:30,000 --> 00:07:00,000 I've got a lot of the story, Buzz. It was, yeah. It was a bloody fine boat, as well, though. You have lovely shoulders. Do you like them? Do you do the sunbathe, or are you very... Well, you know, you've got to have... Oh, sorry, sorry. I won't lie to you, Noreen. I've had a few pints today. I lost my job in the recession, and now... Stop the recession. ...and I need a man to take care of me. Yeah, I'm collecting door money every week. I'm a bit of a cute talker as well. You've no prospects. You don't like this talk? No. I read this in a book. They said the women would like it. An old friend of mine, J-Bo, he gave me this 15 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:30,000 My, fuck it. What kind of a social life would we have, Eddie? We'd have a very good social life. 16 00:07:30,000 --> 00:08:00,000 - Yeah, I mean, I could take you bowling, the cinema, could walk the old dog with you. It'd be great, I'd say. I got a lot of good friends, you know. - Hey, what are you talking about me, hey? - You know, I'm here with the boys now and... - I'm trying my best to... - We're all in it together. - I'm not afraid of you. - Birds of a feather, you know. - Jeez, you were fecking steamboats the other night. - I was, I won't like you. I'm sorry about that now. I hope I didn't fuck it up on you. - J-Bo gave me some putching. - Aw, do you want to stay away from that stuff, man? - That shit make you go blind, man. - Cheers. - Fucking hell. 17 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:30,000 The boys? Where are the boys? I'm not sure. Maybe you should catch up with them. Alright, Eddie. I have a few bob in the bank as well, you know. I was saving a few bob. How are you keeping them? How are you fixed? Eddie, who's this? I was too randy and too drunk and I was just confused. How are you doing? You have lovely hands. You have lovely hands. Just give us a minute, please. I'm going to talk as well. Just give us a fucking minute, William. I'm going to talk as well. I'm going to talk as well. I know. She's been warned already. I'll go fighting. I don't care. Hi, Boz. How are you? How are you? How are you? Good. Good, yeah. 18 00:08:30,000 --> 00:09:00,000 It's a bit of a tension there. I'm a bit disappointed. I've seen you around the town with a viper prising yourself. Last week I did a reading on his chakras. He's fucking serious. Lady Bird is... I don't think she's hanging around with him anymore. But sure, I'm going to try and tap her up anyway. Just to piss Buzz off. 19 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:30,000 A book about lads from America. Contours of a skull. 20 00:09:30,000 --> 00:10:00,000 - Say it all, boy. Aye, I'd say if even the game boys came round of here they wouldn't get a woman. It's the nature of the beast. I won't lie to you, I'm looking for a woman. Really? I am, yeah. This old speed dating crack is not going too well, but now I feel the vibe, like, you know. Do you? I feel you're feeling it too, like, you know. I could have got on well with her now if it went out the way it was supposed to be planned. Central locking, is it? 21 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:30,000 You're not getting any order, can you believe? I'm here now, everybody look. May I have two pints, please? And a fucking West Coast cooler for the lady. Why you asking me? I don't even work here. I'm talking to your man behind the bar, you fucking two. Stop spitting on me as well, you fucking garlic smelling breath. Those lads are like a horse's cock. They're big when they're out. That dragon is a dodgy old. Who does he look like? 22 00:10:30,000 --> 00:11:00,000 - -Dragon! - He looks like a horse cock actually. - Dragon! That dragon looks like a white Samuel L. Jackson actually. - I've got the fucking schmuggness of that little... I'm going over to him. You don't care! My woman! - I have a way with women. - Smoothie! - Finds me there Francis. - Yeah, good man, you're a sound fucker. - Enough! - I think Buzz is a bit upset, uh, vipy about... - I think he's a bit upset. - Crank. - Uh, Wist type, Wist type. - Why is it Wist type? He's with my bird. - Buzz is like really in touch with his emotional side and um... - Yeah? - ...hey, shut your mouth for it. 23 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:30,000 - Oh, Mikey! Thanks! Oh! Well, he gave feckin' my woman a feckin' teddy bear. You saw that, didn't you? You can't be doin' that, no. So where did he get that teddy bear from? Probably stole off some child or something. I'm gonna go over to him. You're not gonna kissin' my woman. Hey! You're not gonna kissin' my woman! 24 00:11:30,000 --> 00:12:00,000 ##$%#$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$ 25 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:30,000 - The whole river boy - What's she just... - Fucking stop crying man will ya? - Rope - I'm not crying man - You'll be alright - I'm snagging like - I'm not crying - I'm not crying there's fucking slide in me eyes - Lady boy, where is she? - She's fucked off the fucking blackpool with that fucking - Blackpool? - Yeah - That'll be the longest fucking two weeks in her life - Do you know the sickness about it as well? - What? - Our money is financing that - From the phone party - The phoney fucking party - Ah lads, what are you doing? 26 00:12:30,000 --> 00:13:00,000 with one. 27 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:30,000 past. To the nice old man in the pub. Who you can share a nice quiet pint with. It's a parody of itself you know. Just don't understand sometimes.