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to do something about the mentally ill not being able to buy a gun. World news. Bunga Bunga man Silvio Berlusconi had to pretend to be shy this week as a lovely radical feminist got the milkers out while vulturous paps took snaps of those baps. Even sideshow Bob was in on the action. Uncle Bunga then made a getaway to an Italian dairy convention where he feasted upon cheese

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is a block of smoked cheddar trying to charm its way out of being ate. Look at him, happier than a dog with two dicks. It's the Chinese year of the bollocks. The Prince of Saudi Arabia spent a million pounds on advertising his state visit. That photoshop's a bit on the nose, but still, better I campaign than the one they did in Yemen. Police in London say an ex-Russian spy has been poisoned with nerve gas.

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who's on the saw go on the side of the hatch fucking great crack not a woman in sight parity games oh he's got it he's got he's gone what an idiot what's this letter what's he doing oh you wanker

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The money is around the corner and Russia is preparing itself for crowd disturbance. People trying to smuggle things in. And rather ominously, man with glass in face. They don't mess about in Russia. You join us live from Russia where a lunatic with a knife is threatening to go stabby stabby. How will the Russians handle this I wonder? Good luck. There was a bit of modern art going down in Baratolona. A puking man getting pegged by a woman who's been bummed by wolf. What does it mean?

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"Political situation must be fucked so. This sort of gratuitous stuff belongs in the Dark Ages. In fact, I'd say the art from the Dark Ages had more class. This is medieval news. There were a couple of peasants harvesting wheat in the field the last day. Your man was enraptured by your ass. He couldn't keep his eye on the grain. Word has arrived about the boys. And get this, they've been jumped by the Normans just outside the kingdom. Poor Creepy got his head flattened like a fucking pancake.

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with the man being in the princess, going around the village doing dark-age farts. I'd take an axe to it. Did you see the lads took a prisoner? Pestilence is doing the rounds. Make sure you get plenty of bed rest, not that that'll matter. You'll still end up in a pit of flames. Although the last group didn't look too upset about it. So maybe it started eating a baby outside the castle, so a knave cut his dick off. Your sister was in the water too. She's nice. Your man Jesus thinks he's the big shot, floating around the town going, smell the fingers that built the world.

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with the devil the last night too. I'd say the boys are a bit King Lear.