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She's coming in strong. Now Russia staged a brilliant and reckless attack against the Nazis when it attempted the murder of Adolf Hitler on the streets of Berlin. There was an al fresco ruckus going down over in Madrid as a group of Senegalese dreamers decided to play holy fuck with the patio sets.

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: "I know everything about you." "Good. Alright." Funky short-arse Jumericuai was up the town signing passive-aggressive autographs. "Anybody I've done this morning, can you give it a break?" The space cowboy must have had canned heat in his heels as he fucked off rapid, leaving a poor old sausage hanging in the wind. Not nice.

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, but something else caught my eye. Who's this super fan looking for an autograph? It's only the House of Commons speaker John Burkow! What's he at? Sounds like he's got mad Burkow disease. Aside from funk music, Burkow also keeps funky company, as seen here beside Keith Vaz at a Leicester City match. Hmm. The same Keith Vaz who was caught with a funky boy and a liter of poppers. The Burkowspiracy gets deeper.

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on the parliament. He's actually Kevin Keegan from 1996 with only a few games left. There was a power of jig acting going on down in Kosovo. Some Balkan brains was throwing tear gas around the parliament. No one seems to be crying though. I bet you they're just glad to be going home. I would be. Politics is boring. Yep, that would be a result for me. Go home. Go home. Take the trousers off and have a nap. There was another bitter day out in the West Bank anyway. The Rock Boys were out.

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of the Israelis reprised with some tear bombs as per usual. When's it gonna end? It's beginning to drag on now like, you know, like series four of Lost or series five of Sopranos. How have they got time for cake? I went to see Peter Hitchens get paid to waffle by some students and his jokes were terrible.

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on the public team last year for the little known sport of starting an argument in an empty room. They argued too much with the selectors. The- Get off the fucking stage! The simple- The simple- Your brother was better! Word news.