1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,400 George W. Bush rat arsed at 2 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,110 Dallas Memorial. Queen guitarist 3 00:00:05,110 --> 00:00:06,780 Brian May stands in pissing 4 00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:08,790 rain with badgers and realises 5 00:00:08,790 --> 00:00:11,000 how strange the situation is. 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,810 And Theresa May arrives at Downing 7 00:00:12,810 --> 00:00:14,490 Street while supporters gather 8 00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:16,000 outside to wish her well. 9 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,610 Go call Theresa May! Go call 10 00:00:18,610 --> 00:00:20,000 Theresa May! 11 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,070 Live from Rio de Janeiro now 12 00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:26,510 where it's three weeks into the 13 00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,750 Olympics and the lads are still 14 00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,270 working away, albeit at snail's 15 00:00:31,270 --> 00:00:32,000 pace. 16 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,340 It'll be the bloody next 17 00:00:33,340 --> 00:00:35,040 Olympics if they keep working 18 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,970 at that rate. What the fuck is 19 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,050 that? Jesus Christ. Fucking 20 00:00:39,050 --> 00:00:40,000 death trap. 21 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,890 I'd say there's more than three 22 00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:44,200 weeks working that, is there? I'm 23 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:45,550 not, uh, I've never worked a 24 00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:46,830 day on the sites in my life, 25 00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:47,990 but I'd say it's a fucking 26 00:00:47,990 --> 00:00:49,000 three month job. 27 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,930 Meanwhile at another boring 28 00:00:50,930 --> 00:00:52,830 event, a potential labour 29 00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:54,630 leader made a complete shit 30 00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:56,000 show of herself. 31 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,540 And not just because her pink 32 00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:59,160 Union Jack branding looked as 33 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,570 though she was launching a 34 00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:02,000 shitty chicklet novel, 35 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,480 but because she had the balls, 36 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,650 or ovary should I say, to 37 00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:05,850 presume the biggest news 38 00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:07,220 editors were gonna listen to 39 00:01:07,220 --> 00:01:08,000 her shite. 40 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,400 Luckily I got a seat in the 41 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,000 crowd. 42 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,160 Can we start with the UK media 43 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,000 I think? Is there anyone from- 44 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,710 Alison Mackenzie ITV. Hang on, 45 00:01:15,710 --> 00:01:17,000 anyone from the BBC? 46 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,460 They're all at a man-boy love 47 00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:19,000 event. 48 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,550 Can you BBC anyone? No? Okay, 49 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,000 Robert Peston, where are you? 50 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,000 Bigger fish to fry, man. 51 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,000 Vital brick? 52 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,120 He split too, I'd say. This is 53 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,000 awful awkward, engine. 54 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,540 Jesus, there's some fucking 55 00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:36,000 arms. 56 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,000 Get off the fucking stage. 57 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,300 Syria has formed a new 58 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,000 government. 59 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Are you serious? 60 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,000 Mr. Assad, I love you. 61 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,000 Great, next. 62 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,000 Hey, Assad, I think you're ace. 63 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,000 Next. 64 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,480 Hi, Assad. Please don't have me 65 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:51,000 killed. 66 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,020 Right, so let's get out of 67 00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,000 business everyone. Have a seat. 68 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,130 First things first. The country's 69 00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:58,710 fucked. Now you all know that I'm 70 00:01:58,710 --> 00:01:59,000 sure. 71 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,280 We've killed everybody or they've 72 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,000 mostly fled to Europe. 73 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,000 And we are looking kind of bad. 74 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,320 But you know, fuck it. We're 75 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,000 still alive. 76 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,480 And yeah, there's no chance of 77 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,000 the West getting involved. 78 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,680 Because they depend upon our 79 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,180 strategic placement and 80 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,000 resources. 81 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,090 Isn't Libya doing great since 82 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:21,000 we annihilated Gaddafi? 83 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,660 The safest houses. Actually, 84 00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,000 where are the houses? 85 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,030 There are no houses, it seems. 86 00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:28,000 Or people. 87 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,000 Just fighting men and tanks. 88 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,660 Oh well. I suppose it has to 89 00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:34,000 get worse before it gets better. 90 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000 But when does it get better? 91 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,200 We are live back in Brazil. Rio 92 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,850 de Janeiro. The Olympics. Less 93 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,000 than three weeks away now. 94 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,220 And some great hosing going on. 95 00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:47,000 Hosanna in the highest. 96 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,900 Is it just me? Or does the 97 00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,900 whole Rio 2016 enterprise look 98 00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:53,000 so unsafe? 99 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,410 Is health and safety at the top 100 00:02:54,410 --> 00:02:56,000 of the agenda of these people? 101 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,000 Or is it... 102 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,000 No, no it's not. It's not. 103 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Ah, fuck. I hope he's okay. 104 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,470 It kind of goes alright in 105 00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:04,210 Europe, but in America it's a 106 00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:05,000 big deal. 107 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000 These are a bit of crack. Boom. 108 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,930 Boom. The gun culture. Come 109 00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:10,000 here. Boom. 110 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,020 Gun control. It's a fucking dodgy 111 00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:13,000 issue, man. 112 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000 Ha! 113 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:16,140 Why would you want to ruin the 114 00:03:16,140 --> 00:03:18,080 fun for the rest of us and ban 115 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,000 something like this? 116 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:21,710 To keep guns out of the hands 117 00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:23,420 of those who should not have 118 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:24,000 them? 119 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,000 Ha ha! Ha ha! 120 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,270 People who are mentally 121 00:03:27,270 --> 00:03:28,000 unstable. 122 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,000 Come here. Boom! 123 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,040 Gun control. More like fun 124 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,000 control. 125 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000 Take that you fucking prick. 126 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,360 The trigger has to be pulled by 127 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:37,000 somebody. 128 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000 Who are mentally unstable. 129 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,000 And that person might be insane. 130 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,000 But they might not. 131 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000 Humans are animals. 132 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,000 We're prone to irrationality. 133 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,490 So what's so wrong about 134 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,110 putting something like this in 135 00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:49,990 the hands of ordinary citizens 136 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:51,400 that might, you know, just have 137 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,600 a bad day at work and decide to 138 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,000 go and do something like this? 139 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,340 something like this.