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*Ding*

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Some lads arriving at the

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airport. Hopefully they're not

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on drugs.

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The Russians arriving at the

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airport. Which is surprising,

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because I heard they were all

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high on life.

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And absolutely pumped full of...

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Natural adrenaline.

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The Olympics are two days away

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and fully prepped, as lads

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scoop diarrhea from a pavement.

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It doesn't look great, to be

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honest. The whole thing looks

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like an episode of Megastructures,

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but like the opposite of Megastructures.

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*Ahhh*

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The deadlines are tight. The

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buildings are unfinished. The

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workers look tired.

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Some roads lead off into

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nowhere. The pavements have

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shit under them.

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Where's the money gone? Who

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knows?

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But let's just hope for the

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best, in today's edition of Dodgy

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Structures.

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I think that it's getting very

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slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly,

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slowly.

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Viper's view, it's a whole lot

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of class.

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Super crack out in North Korea,

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where the fucking vibe is

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definitely not coerced or scary.

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And everything is absolutely

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normal. Tickety-boo. Nice

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clapping there, man. Who does

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he think he is? Eric Clapton.

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Fat Man-Doo read out some rules,

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and told North Korea that the

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rest of the world was shite,

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What was going on inside their

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borders was class. So class,

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that they're having their own

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Olympics.

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We are live now from the

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Olympic Games Stadium inside

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North Korea, Pyongyang.

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The atmosphere is tense. A

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forced Mexican wave is underway.

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People are being told to smile,

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or they will be shot. So the

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marathon looks class, doesn't

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look depressing.

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Actually, in fairness, it looks

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like more crack than Rio at the

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moment.

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Probably less drugs, anyway.

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The Coliseum in Rome used to be

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a place where they played games.

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Nasty games.

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Nasty games. Where the hardest

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of the hard would battle each

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other. Now, it's just another

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fucking Pokemon meetup spot.

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Nasty games. Out with the gladiators,

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in with the dweebs. It'd make

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you sick. Look at this. Who's

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he? How old is he? Why is he on

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his own?

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Nasty games. He's having a good

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time to himself, isn't he?

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Nasty games. He's having a very

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good time.

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All I can think of when I see

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this though is, in terms of

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target selection, uh, Isis have

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it easy, don't they?

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Speaking of which, did you see

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the little, the little Isis

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baby there? He had, um, a teddy

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bear and a knife, and he took

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the, uh, the knife to the bear

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and cut off his little head.

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Nasty. Ah, it's sweet. They're

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lovely at that age.

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Back to Rio now for the drug

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Olympics, where extreme poverty

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in surrounding areas is being

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largely ignored for some shitty

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spectacle on the Copacabana

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beach.

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There's tits and volleyball

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going down on the other end. I

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wouldn't be arsed watching this.

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Everybody can pass here and

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take a selfie with the Copacabana

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beach. Great selfie, yeah, that's

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what we've become.

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Why not play some Pokemon Go

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while you're there? Perhaps

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that is a Pokemon. Perhaps she's

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a Pokemon. Is she one of them?

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Galena Dunham, Trigglypuff

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Pokemon, who lives on the

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internet, uh, giving out to men.

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For ruining her life and her

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world. Hidden conspiracies of

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the week.

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Donald Trump. So, the race to

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the White House? It's dodgy.

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Trump. He's a big man. He's a

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tacky man. He built his stock

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on block towers in the middle

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of Manhattan on New York

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New York Island. He made a lot

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of dollars on that buildings.

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Wake up and smell the cheese.

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Trump is simply a member of the

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Illuminati.

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Photographs have emerged. Triangles

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have been formulating on the

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photographs. Donald Trump was

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pictured sat next to a fucking...

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Goblin... Monk. Who was just

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sitting there with his hands

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like that. The Illuminati have

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Trump. By the ball. By the ball.

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I'm scared. By the ball. I'm

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scared. I don't know what's

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going on.

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What's going on? Sometimes you'll

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know what the fucking point of

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it all is, you know?

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.

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.

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Thank you.