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*Ding music*

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Never mind that construction shite!

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The sandy beaches of the Copacabana

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will see you through these

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games.

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Rio 2016, let's do this, do

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this, do do do do!

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*Ding music*

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*Ding music*

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Here he comes!

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Oh yeah.

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Good luck.

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You join us for the 31st Olympiad.

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And we're at the sail winding.

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Sin, Mex and Jippin doing well,

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I think.

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I don't know, it's confusing

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and boring.

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Hope he's alive.

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Heard a few terrible stories

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there about dead bodies.

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*Ding music*

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So far so safe at this Olympics.

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A lot of muggins, but that's to

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be expected, it's Rio.

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Don't worry about getting carjacked

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while driving around Rio in

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your whip.

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Rentals are now bulletproof.

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But don't you dare return it

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without an empty tank.

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'Cause they'll definitely

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charge you.

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We will definitely charge you

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if you return with an empty

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tank.

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If you don't have the moulin to

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rent a bulletproof car,

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a fold-out sex doll, which

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looks like a tough cunt, is

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your next best option.

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Basically, you just stick him

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in the passenger seat of your

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car, drive around, and he detairs

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any, like, bogeymen who might

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be trying to rob you, or just

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general scum.

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The Vikings have launched their

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bid for world domination again.

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And they are beautiful.

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Lock up your daughters, and

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other women around your family

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too.

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These fire-breathing Scandys

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would wade through mounds of shite

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just to get a sniff of your old

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one's front doorstep.

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Bit of crack?

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Fun and games?

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Wonder was it that much fun

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back in the day?

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They committed some terrible

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atrocities.

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Wonder will we be celebrating

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the Nazis in a thousand years'

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time with the same relish?

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Hmm.

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Can you believe it?

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They've managed to crossbreed a

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tiger and a lion.

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Meet Tygon.

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One wonders what its future

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holds.

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Will it roam around the plains

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of the savannah in the Serengeti

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wilderness?

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Oh no, it's a circus.

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Game over.

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Wow!

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I can't even believe he did

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that!

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Now over to Syria.

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Few lads playing hardcore mode

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out in Modern Warfareville.

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No respawns here anyway.

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Geez Louise, don't know about

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you, but I could do with a big

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spectacle to take my mind off

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the horrors of reality for a

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month.

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It's here, Rio 2016, the

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Olympics.

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Come on, Westheim!

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An athlete has been detained by

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local police under the charge

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of sexual assault.

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Castrated!

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You know, Brazilian law needs

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to be respected.

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Cut his mickey off!

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We have to agree on.

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Throw away the key, hey!

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Soccer time, samba time, Johnny

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Ball.

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What a piece of skill.

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Over to the granny drone now

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for the 400 meter amble.

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And it's Grandma Klaus for

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Germany.

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Looking very sweet as she comes

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around the bend.

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And you really would fancy Klaus

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at this halfway point of the

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race.

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Much like a German car, she'll

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run and run and run.

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She's 84 now.

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God bless her.

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She doesn't look a day over 76

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though.

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As she sleeps into the final

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bend.

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But she's pipped at the post by

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the Brits.

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It's gold for Team GB.

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Nana Klaus smiling there though.

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Her heart must be broken.

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The poor woman.

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You must move.

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You must move.

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You must move.

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Nana Klaus speaks the truth.

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But the path to glory does not

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end with just simple movement.

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You must have the strength.

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You must have the grit.

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Move!

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And you must be on.

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The juice.

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You must use.

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You must move.

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You must move.

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00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,300
You must move.

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00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,300
You must move.

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You must move.

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00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,300
You must move.

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Move.

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Move.

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Winners don't use drugs.

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That's all for this week's Vipers

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View Olympics special.

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Come back next week for more

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Special Olympics editions of

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the show.

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The show.

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.

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you

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.