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NASA launched a rocket there

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the last day sending astronauts

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to repair the ISS. I managed to

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get myself a seat on the rocket.

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Whoa, blast off. I've never

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been to space before. Let's

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hope it doesn't go tits up like

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that Apollo film. Please stop

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talking. Tom Hanks and Kevin

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Bacon and that. I never liked

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Kevin Bacon after I saw that

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Sleepers film. Do you remember

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that? Please stop talking. When

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he made the young fellas do

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stuff to his-

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It's Vipers View. It's news

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made for you. Welcome to crime

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cunts. The cops are seeking any

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info you might have on this lad.

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Do you know him? Johnny Pickles.

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He's a bad egg. He's been known

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in the past and some say that

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he's not right. Now, the last

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time he was spotted was in

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Central Park the last day. He

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was floating around the park

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and then a green Almira pulled

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up and he just got inside and

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they drove off. What were they

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doing?

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Watch out for him because he's

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wrong. He's so wrong. People

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have started asking whether or

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not he's alright. Francoise

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Hollande. French president.

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Whoa, nice swift entrance by

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the Pope. Fucking hell. Let's

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see that again. Hollande walks

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in and out of nowhere. Whoosh.

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Glides in. And just look at

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this handshake. It seems to be

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strong and long going. How long

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can you maintain this for?

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Shake, shake, shake, shake it

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off.

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Taylor Swift! It's about 10

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seconds long!

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Tension is tight as they move

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to the drawing room.

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Holland and Pope go for a

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synchronized sit-down.

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Oh, Pope just sat down too

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quickly there.

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We move on to round two now.

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Holland shows the Pope to the

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first of the dignitaries.

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Slaphead smiles aplenty as we

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move on to Lurch, August,

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Silverback,

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the legend of White Fang

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himself.

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Looking very good for his age,

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I must say.

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Joan of Arc next. She's made a

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comeback from the dead.

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And Mr. Pencil.

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All that's left now is to stand

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for the brand new French

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national anthem.

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Football, as they call it in

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Glasgow.

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Fitba.

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And a lot of Palestine

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solidarity shit going on down

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at Celtic.

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Where else?

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Baby's feed when the phone gets

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shot dead.

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What?

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Baby's got a scum.

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Fucking scum in the house.

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Oh, Israeli woman.

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I mean, I just want to go watch

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the football.

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China.

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The world's longest glass-bottom

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bridge has opened in the Hunan

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province.

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The Chinese are good enough for

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posture and nowadays they have

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a bit of money, aren't they?

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They're developing fast and

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they're going to take over.

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The Chinese.

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The Chinese.

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Keep them in mind.

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They're not thick.

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They know what they're doing.

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Spain.

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Espanolus.

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Eh.

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Great people.

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Great sausages.

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Over in some field.

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They'd cut the grass to make it

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look like a chess board.

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And then they played real chess

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down in a tent and used tractors

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as chess pieces.

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How did they move the pieces?

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They drove them.

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And, uh...

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God knows why.

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What a waste of petrol.

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Or diesel.

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Or whatever the fuck they're

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running on.

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Beautiful scenery.

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But if you were down there on

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the ground, sure, you wouldn't

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have...

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It's just a load of tractors in

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a field.

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You can't really see anything,

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you know?

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The European Sesame.

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Fucking hell, look at the

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scenery.

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Absolutely breathtaking.

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All astronauts, please keep to

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the mission briefing.

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I've never been to space,

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Houston.

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I'm sorry.

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Uh, right.

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So what jobs need doing?

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Uh, God, uh...

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Leak capacitor needs, uh...

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To be replaced.

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The leak capacitor, right.

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I'm seeing a rake of nuts and

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bolts here.

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Is there a screw loose or do I

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need a hammer?

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The leak capacitor.

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*painful music*