1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,670 I just don't give a fuck! Yeah, 2 00:00:04,670 --> 00:00:07,710 fair play Connor. That's daft 3 00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:11,000 enough. Daft enough. He could 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,610 well have got through to hit 5 00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:16,550 him there. That was daft. I 6 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,270 wonder how much a chair would 7 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:22,100 have caused me. Fair play to 8 00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:23,060 you. 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,200 Hep C is curable. If you've got 10 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,380 hep, don't worry about it. You're 11 00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,990 gonna get cured out of it. 12 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,090 Thank God I don't have hepatitis. 13 00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:38,390 But if I did, at least it's curable. 14 00:00:38,390 --> 00:00:40,020 The fight was a day away, so I 15 00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:41,780 decided to go on the piss. My 16 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,700 contact was a lad from home. He 17 00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:45,350 worked in the UN. One of the 18 00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:47,240 great things about being inside 19 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,850 the UN is the badge they give 20 00:00:48,850 --> 00:00:50,600 you. There was loads of cool 21 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,420 stuff on the walls. Flags and 22 00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,180 what have you. And pieces of 23 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,640 art. A lovely piece of art. 24 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,360 This one reminded me of Live 25 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,130 and Let Die. The movie with 26 00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:02,510 James Bond. Sorry. France, you're 27 00:01:02,510 --> 00:01:04,230 talking shite again. Sorry, 28 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,960 just a quick note to everyone. 29 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,790 Mugabe's coming. And he's gonna 30 00:01:07,790 --> 00:01:09,770 be here in about 20 minutes. So 31 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,230 I don't want any laughing or 32 00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:13,010 teasing. And I'm looking at you 33 00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:15,050 Tajikistan in Poland. You were 34 00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:16,290 taking the piss the last day. 35 00:01:16,290 --> 00:01:17,510 Because he knew well you were 36 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:18,640 fucking on about him. 37 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,670 Out in the smoking area of the 38 00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:22,700 UN bar. I couldn't believe 39 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,710 where I was. I was out in the 40 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,740 smoking area of the UN bar. 41 00:01:26,740 --> 00:01:28,880 Tomorrow night would be fight 42 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,080 night. And I had also planned 43 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,280 to meet an old pal, Jeremy, on 44 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,750 the corner of 59th and 5th, 45 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,770 which is New York speak, for 46 00:01:37,770 --> 00:01:39,140 the street. 47 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:43,080 I was late for my meeting with 48 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,510 Jeremy, as a Trump Tower 49 00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:50,330 protest on 5th Avenue had 50 00:01:50,330 --> 00:01:54,160 blocked off the streets. 51 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,680 Jeremy. Jeremy. Francis, hey. 52 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,570 How are things? Sorry I'm late. 53 00:01:58,570 --> 00:02:00,180 You're like an hour late. I 54 00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,560 know, but Sherlock's the 55 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,400 fucking place. It's okay, it's 56 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,960 okay. I'm sorry. I'm just a 57 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,580 little stressed because of work 58 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:08,200 and all that. I have a deadline 59 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,880 tomorrow morning. Can I get two 60 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:10,920 hot dogs, please? 61 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,240 It's a giant grocery list. Why 62 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,080 is it a giant grocery list on a 63 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,090 tablet? Well, this could be 64 00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:18,790 actually a bit of subtle 65 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:20,800 advertising. Maybe one of the 66 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,510 chains like Duane Reade put 67 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,650 this up. Yeah, I think maybe if 68 00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:26,370 we check the back we'll see 69 00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:28,240 like a Duane Reade logo right 70 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,030 on the bottom. Let's have a 71 00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:33,170 look. Nah. There's no sign of 72 00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:36,240 any Duane Reade at all. Advertising 73 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,930 nowadays is very subtle. Who's 74 00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:39,720 that? 75 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,150 I don't know. We can look it up 76 00:02:43,150 --> 00:02:47,040 on my iPhone. Alright. Horse. 77 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,250 Horse. So far, Jeremy's tourism 78 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:55,630 skills were lacklust. Statue. I'd 79 00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:59,000 just be keen to find out who it 80 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,890 is, Jeremy, to be honest. Okay, 81 00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:06,190 it's the Sherman Monument. 82 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:09,560 Sherman. The Sherman Monument. 83 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,080 Look at that man, a fucking 84 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,240 squirrel. Whoa. Fucking hell. 85 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,320 They're not scared of us. Jesus. 86 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,080 And would the pigeon attack the 87 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,690 squirrel or what's the story 88 00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:20,740 there? Would they fight or? 89 00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:22,370 Well, you can see they're kind 90 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,110 of squaring off now. They're 91 00:03:24,110 --> 00:03:25,690 sizing each other up. Yeah. 92 00:03:25,690 --> 00:03:27,060 What the fuck is a black lad 93 00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:28,440 now? You don't see black 94 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,140 squirrels too often. They're 95 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:31,760 kind of like black swans. Did 96 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,500 you see the film Black Swan? I 97 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,200 saw the first half. What did 98 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,440 you make of it? It was so 99 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,080 boring. It was boring as fuck. 100 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,130 A ballet student. A ballet 101 00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:43,450 student. Whatever. Who cares? I 102 00:03:43,450 --> 00:03:45,430 don't care about Natalie Portman 103 00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:47,480 getting all veiny and tense. I'm 104 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,620 like, this is disturbing. And 105 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:50,970 it hasn't even gotten to the 106 00:03:50,970 --> 00:03:52,510 disturbing part. Just seeing 107 00:03:52,510 --> 00:03:53,880 Natalie Portman all gaunt is 108 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:54,820 disturbing. 109 00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:56,500 It was rubbish. It was 110 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:58,490 disturbing. And it was boring. 111 00:03:58,490 --> 00:04:00,340 And it was rubbish. That's what 112 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,410 I think of the film. Black Swan. 113 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,620 Shame on the Academy. Like all 114 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,300 these romantic movies with 115 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,100 Sarah Jessica Parker or Amy Schumer. 116 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,890 You get in the horse-drawn 117 00:04:10,890 --> 00:04:12,150 carriage. You take a ride 118 00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:13,800 around. You're like, oh, that 119 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,300 was a fucking great date. 120 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,080 I reckon we should go and watch 121 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,070 an Amy Schumer movie later on. 122 00:04:19,070 --> 00:04:20,100 Oh, come on. 123 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:21,990 What is your gut feeling on Amy 124 00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:23,830 Schumer and the future of Amy 125 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:24,640 Schumer? 126 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,020 I think Amy Schumer needs to 127 00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:29,520 take some time. Step away from 128 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,820 her show. And figure out what 129 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:33,870 is it about my comedy that 130 00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:36,290 really connects with people on 131 00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:38,060 a visceral level. 132 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,950 After discussing Amy Schumer, 133 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:41,280 it was time for a spot of 134 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,170 Pokemon Go. I've never played 135 00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:44,640 it before. And I didn't 136 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,160 understand the rules. 137 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:47,800 There's a rat right there. 138 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,680 So he's over there, is he? 139 00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:52,340 He's right there. He's on you. 140 00:04:52,340 --> 00:04:53,480 He's on your knees. 141 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:56,420 Get him. 142 00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:57,300 Sorry. 143 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,300 Stamp him. Stamp him. 144 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:01,220 Yeah, he's by your left foot 145 00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:03,560 now, I think. I think he's 146 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:04,180 trapped. 147 00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:09,170 I don't know how you play this 148 00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:09,860 game. 149 00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:10,100 up.