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Aging rockstar and tantric sex

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creep Sting held a minute

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silence at his gig in Paris the

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other day to mark the one year

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anniversary of the horrible

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terror attacks.

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Let's observe a minute of

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silence.

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Hello. Sorry I'm late. I was

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doing a bit of sightseeing.

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Shhh. I had a snail there. It

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was disgusting. Shhh. Shhh. Are

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you gonna play Roxanne Shting

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or do you only do that when you're

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in the police?

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Welcome to Vipers View.

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Christmas. The season of goodwill

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and cheer. Good job the cops

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there in case something happens.

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The Christmas market selling

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all sorts of sweetie goods and

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baubles.

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The place is fucking crawling

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with cops man. Is something

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gonna happen is it?

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The sweet angel Gabriel. Festive

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decor. The crowds of Christmas.

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Is that an unattended bag or is

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someone's Nathan fuck?

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Blackface has made a comeback

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as a form of entertainment.

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The pastime which lost

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popularity in recent years due

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to clarity of thought and humanistic

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sympathy has found new fans in

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Holland.

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Including old ladies and Santyclans.

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It's too dumb. But not anymore.

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But also the others.

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A giant plane from the west

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flies over the middle east

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dropping a care package

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probably full of supplies and

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goods for the beleaguered

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people of...oh god no it's a

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bomb. Sorry I got it wrong.

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Leroux's greatest hit. Out to

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buy now on compact disc or mp3

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download.

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Are you going to New York on

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holiday soon? Or to live even?

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Bet you think you've got it all

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sussed out. Well think again.

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NYC Jetpack.

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If you don't have a jetpack in

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New York you might as well be

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wearing a sign round your head

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that says "I'm a fucking sis"

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Only dickheads walk around New

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York but legends fly.

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Legends fly.

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Imagine being able to do this

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in front of that. Are you

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fucking serious?

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Rent out a jetpack for a grand

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a day. Down at the harbour.

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NYC Jetpack.

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Look at this lad. Johnny Cybersex.

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It's the traffic warden nobody

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asked for but that everybody

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got.

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I just love heavy traffic

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coming at me hard from behind

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or from the front. I don't mind.

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You can take photographs if you

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want.

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Ooooooh.

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Ah. The world's smallest couple.

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Wouldn't you just love to pick

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them up and put them in your

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pocket. Bring them home and put

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them to work around the house

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then.

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But you cannot do that anymore.

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It's not nice. You know it's

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not the Victorian ages where

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people of a different shape

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were exploited for cheap

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entertainment.

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We've progressed since then.

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And what better way to display

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that progress than having a man

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with a tape measure stood next

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to the two small people on

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their wedding day

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While a gaggle of tabloid snap

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vultures take pics for the next

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day's metro.

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You join us here at the Café

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de Batre. En Francais. As a

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mysterious burka figure has hit

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the stage.

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Oh my god it's the radical

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feminists. Yes. Get in. Classic

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switcheroo there by the ladies

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as is tradition.

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And Le de Batre has gone tits

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up. Second wave, third wave,

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whatever wave. They're making

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big waves in my underpants.

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More please.

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Remember to join square head,

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botox face, I don't know and

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tit man every Saturday night

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for the X Factor.

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The X Factor.

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you

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you