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Sugar water's coming, sugar

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water's coming, sugar water's

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coming, sugar water's coming.

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We target advertising at

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children, cause their undeveloped

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minds make dollars by billions.

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Fidel Castro has finished this

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week, age 90.

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The revolutionary cigar smoker

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and owner of the Cuban Missile

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Crisis Country known as Cuba,

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was mourned by all who knew him.

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We are very sad.

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Apart from others who knew him,

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who celebrated his death?

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That's a bit morbid really, isn't

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it?

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Oh hey!

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Phew!

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That's a bit morbid celebrating

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someone's death.

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Oh hey!

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Russia led the tributes to

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Castro by launching a cigar-shaped

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missile at Syrian rebels inside

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Aleppo.

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I managed to get myself a seat

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in the town.

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Fuck!

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Oh fucking hell!

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Jesus Christ!

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Good job there's no civilians

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living in the city.

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What, there are?

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Oh my god, no, it's horrible.

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Oh my god, that's fucking

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terrible.

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Why is this happening?

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Why do they still do this?

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There's people living here.

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Was he sound, or was he a

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bastard?

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It's hard to say.

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He had a lot of fans, including

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the king of Africa himself,

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Mandela.

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I have looked forward to coming

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to visit in Cuba.

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Seems innocent enough, yeah?

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Bullshit.

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Check out this audio leaked the

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other day from heaven.

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Welcome to heaven.

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I trust you have bring the

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package.

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See, Senor Mandela.

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500 geeks of pure cocaine.

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Oh, we're going to run this

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city.

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Take in the family to see Santy

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this Christmas.

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Well remember, make sure he's

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been vetted, and has full guard

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of clearance.

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It's a shame that it has to be

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done, but it's just the way

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things are nowadays.

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Well, we're in Germany.

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Although you mightn't know that,

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because of all the different

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faces you'll see here now.

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And I'm not a fan of Angela

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Merkel's immigration policy at

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all.

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But this takes the piss now.

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Who are these lads?

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Where is he from?

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Does he have a work permit?

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What about this chap?

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Is he skilled?

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Or is he on the scratch?

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You know?

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We need to get the fucking

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borders sorted.

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It's fucking ridiculous.

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Over to Italy, where a boat

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sinks beneath a bridge.

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There's too much water going on,

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isn't there?

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Way too much water.

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How did the water get that much?

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Somebody must have left the tap

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on.

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Weather systems.

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Forecasts.

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Clouds.

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Underneath the clouds.

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France.

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Pissing down.

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Every town and city is wet.

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Up now to the British Isles.

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Agus.

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Ireland.

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Pissing down as per usual.

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Nordic land now.

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Surprisingly sunny and dry.

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The Alps.

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Pissing down.

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Can you believe the cheek of

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the firemen in France as they

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hold up traffic to protest poor

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working conditions?

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Which is a bit rich.

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I mean, they're firemen.

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They're not going to be baking

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cakes.

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Like, they're going to be on

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fire.

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You know?

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It's not going to be a bad day

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at the office.

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It's going to be a shite day.

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On fire.

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Welcome to the Vatican for the

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first day of nativity.

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The tree is up.

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The baby Jesus is nestled in

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his manger.

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Flanked by moo-cow, ass, and

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virgin.

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As the man himself, Pope

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Francis, delivers an exclusive

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window ledge mass.

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What could possibly go wrong?

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Back to the crib now where?

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Oh, oh dear.

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Oh, God.

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Everything seems to be going

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wrong here at the Vatican.

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This isn't the nativity we

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wanted.

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Oh, for God's sake, woman.

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Leave the baby out of it.

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Series of coordinated attacks

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here by radical feminists.

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And you know what?

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You got a feel for the Pope who

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continues on with the gospel

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like a professional when

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everything has gone tits up.

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You won't catch me again.