1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,590 He will not divide us. He will 2 00:00:01,590 --> 00:00:03,080 not divide us. He will not 3 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:04,750 divide us. He will not divide 4 00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:05,120 us. 5 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,770 Welcome to Vipers View. Top 6 00:00:06,770 --> 00:00:08,710 stories this week: forest fires 7 00:00:08,710 --> 00:00:10,460 rage in Chile. Not so chilly 8 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:11,200 now, hey. 9 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,980 The French forget to pay their 10 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,040 electricity bill. And people in 11 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,960 Colombia are mad into drugs. 12 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,090 Shite news over. Now it's time 13 00:00:19,090 --> 00:00:20,940 for some Trump. They're two 14 00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:22,230 powerful men who admire each 15 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:22,560 other. 16 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:23,790 And they've said it in public. 17 00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:24,990 They want to meet. They want to 18 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:26,160 look at each other in the eye 19 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:26,480 and sit 20 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:27,720 down with each other and get to 21 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:28,910 know each other. They want to 22 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:30,320 be with each other, you know? 23 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:33,510 They want to be with each other. 24 00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:36,770 That's funny. Well played. Well 25 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,760 played. 26 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,140 I went out the women's march 27 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,720 there the last day for a goo. 28 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,780 Lot of provocative signs. If 29 00:00:42,780 --> 00:00:43,520 the fetus you 30 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,120 save is gay, will you continue 31 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,770 to protect its rights? I don't 32 00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:48,640 know. I mean, what if the fetus 33 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:49,280 grew up to be 34 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,640 a bollocks? Whether it's a gay 35 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,100 bollocks or a straight bollocks, 36 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,280 it's still a bollocks. 37 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,260 Shia LaBeouf was out on the 38 00:00:56,260 --> 00:01:00,080 street, acting all hard. He's 39 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,910 so avant-garde. The most 40 00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:03,920 bizarre protests 41 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,300 this week weren't the pussy 42 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,920 marchers, where I saw children 43 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:08,560 carrying signs like this. It 44 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:08,960 was the 45 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,860 Shia LaBeouf art project, where 46 00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:12,870 he gets cult members to shout "He 47 00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:14,480 Will Not Divide Us" into a 48 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:15,520 webcam known as 49 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,610 The Eye of Sorrows. "He Will 50 00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:21,810 Not Divide Us" "He Will Not Divide 51 00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:24,160 Us" "We Will Not Divide Us" 52 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,930 LaBeouf, whose name literally 53 00:01:25,930 --> 00:01:27,510 translates as "Savior of the 54 00:01:27,510 --> 00:01:29,410 Beef", comes down every now and 55 00:01:29,410 --> 00:01:30,480 again for a look, 56 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,250 shakes a few hands, and then 57 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:33,850 fucks off. That was a bit 58 00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:35,570 awkward there, because he was 59 00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:36,560 about to shake 60 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:37,730 some fella's hand, and then he 61 00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:38,770 went to shake another man's 62 00:01:38,770 --> 00:01:39,800 hand, and they both didn't 63 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,840 shake him. Then he just 64 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,940 walked away, shamefully. What 65 00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:45,760 the fuck is he at? Now with the 66 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,300 "He Will Not Divide Us", or as 67 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:48,560 it's known on Twitter, 68 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,080 "Hawundu". I decided to go deep 69 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,250 cover. Deep cover on the eye, 70 00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,400 got Neo-tipped. My infiltration 71 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:56,480 into Shia LaBeouf's 72 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,790 shitty cult was fraught with 73 00:01:57,790 --> 00:01:59,310 danger. There were "Hawundus" 74 00:01:59,310 --> 00:02:00,690 everywhere, so not to arouse 75 00:02:00,690 --> 00:02:02,540 suspicion, I danced around with 76 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:04,250 a bongo like a dickhead. It 77 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,740 wasn't long before the "Hawundus" 78 00:02:07,740 --> 00:02:09,020 invited me into their inner 79 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:09,600 circle. 80 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,330 I was going deep cover, so I 81 00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:16,310 put on my best American accent. 82 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,480 Hey guys, nice to meet you guys. 83 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,410 Nice to meet you too. Hey. Hi. 84 00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:22,880 Hey guys. What's up? What's up? 85 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,860 My accent had worked. The "Hawundus" 86 00:02:24,860 --> 00:02:26,240 thought that I was a regular 87 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,640 American man. Now I had to 88 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,020 prove myself, so I danced 89 00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:30,960 around with a bongo like a dickhead. 90 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,530 He will not divide us. He will 91 00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:35,820 not divide us. He will not 92 00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:38,420 divide us. He will not divide 93 00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:41,060 us. He will not divide us. He 94 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,960 will not divide us. He will not 95 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:42,960 divide us. He will not divide 96 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:42,960 us. 97 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,580 The "Hawundus" loved it. I was 98 00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:46,140 their god now. It was time for 99 00:02:46,140 --> 00:02:47,680 me to try and plug the show. 100 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,240 Welcome to Vipers View. The "Hawundus" 101 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,880 looked at me like I'd just shat 102 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,550 myself, so I took my bongo and 103 00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:57,520 fucked off. 104 00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,810 Came down to see you, Labeef. 105 00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:00,830 You weren't there. Where were 106 00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:03,520 you? You were hiding, were you? 107 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,710 Labeef. Are you listening to me, 108 00:03:06,710 --> 00:03:09,690 Labeef? I'm gonna find you when 109 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,040 I find you. 110 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:13,450 Yeah, Labeef. If you're 111 00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:15,000 watching, man, that was a 112 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,310 threat that went wrong. I had a 113 00:03:17,310 --> 00:03:18,240 dodgy tummy. 114 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,740 Did well not to get sick, but 115 00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:21,750 the threat still remains, Labeef. 116 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:27,120 I'm coming for you.