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Marine Le Pen was spouting some

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right-wing diatribe in France

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the other day, only to be

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interrupted by a lovely topless

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radical feminist. The bouncer's

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tact was second to none as he

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grappled with the writhing topless

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body. Doing well to pull his

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head back from the splendour

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upon him, the heavy displayed

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stoic restraint in the face of

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adversity. I see Banksy has

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ditched the old spray paint and

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stencil and he's made an old

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hotel now in Bethlehem next to

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the

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segregation wall. He'll be

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making a few pound off that don't

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you worry. But it's not a

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racket,

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it's art and here's Banksy.

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Really it's a statement you

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know. The poignant juxtaposition

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between nihilism and monopsy.

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Yeah the hotel looks good but

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it doesn't look as good as the

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graffiti

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stuff you did you know. I don't

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give a fuck what do you think

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mate. Yeah you should do more

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graffiti

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stuff. Fuck. Fukushima. Do you

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know what I mean. Place got swashbuckled

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by a tsunami one of the days

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there a few years back I think.

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Couldn't fucking tell you to be

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honest with you but to be

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honest I was

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there before once yeah. Why are

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you asking me again. Welcome

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back to Fukushima where we're

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still awaiting

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this supposed tsunami but

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nothing's happening it's fierce

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mild to think the Japanese just

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might be a

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bit more afraid of weather like.

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You know I'm a mayo man myself.

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I'd like to see one of these

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Japanese

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fellas in Belmullet on a

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fucking February afternoon. Do

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you know what I mean. Oh god oh

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god oh jesus christ no.

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But we're fucked. We're fucked.

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We're fucked. We're fucked. We're

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fucked. The tragedy tore Japan

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apart. And just when people

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thought things couldn't get

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anywhere. The nuclear power

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plant exploded. Some quack at

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the hospital who claimed to

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speak English had this to say.

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I think people thinking about.

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Eh. Hospital. Not the shop. Any

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service. But our. What. Our.

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The Japanese government say it's

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safe for Fukushima to return to

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the area despite the fact that

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radioactive boars now control

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the territory. So we don't want

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to be a dick about it or

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anything but the boars are just

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spongers like. Man why's that.

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So they don't want to work they

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don't even integrate. Ah they're

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radioactive. Okay and what will

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you do about that. So

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we're going to be releasing a

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song for charity and stuff. It'll

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be a hard time getting these boars

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out. They've taken the town by

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storm and now they don't want

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to leave.

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Well in an exciting twist we

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managed to get tickets. Oof. Um.

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We managed to land tickets to

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Miss Beauty 2017. Jesus. Mary

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and Joseph. She's the complete

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package isn't she. And there we

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have Jimmy Crystal. Fresh off

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the spaceship. And I tell you

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something. I wouldn't mind

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building my own spaceship. And

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bringing all these women to the

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moon with me. With their

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permission. Let's have a look

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at what last year's winner had

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to say.

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I was able to learn a lot about

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the trans women community in

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Thailand. Trans what? That's

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what I cherish the most. Is

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this one of those doolally

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situations is it?

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fucking listen

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do the audience know the crack

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do they?

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suppose they do

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does Jimmy Crystal know it does

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he?

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hey if Jimmy Crystal doesn't

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know don't tell him

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don't tell him hey you know

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Crystal

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he'll be out the club later

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he'll be fucking trying to drop

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the pod

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hey hey hey do you ever see

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Crystal

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on a night out?

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he's a fucking header

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he's a fucking header

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he's a fucking header

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he's a fucking header

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he's a fucking town

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he's a fucking header

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he's a fucking header

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he's a fucking header

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He's a folk in Hedder.

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He's a folk in Hedder.

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He's a folk in Hedder.

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you