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Grand Central Station, New York

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City. If the world had a

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beating heart, this place would

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probably be that heart.

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You wouldn't want to operate on

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it though, because there's too

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much shit going on.

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People going around everywhere,

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even the best of surgeons might

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end up missing the section

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where he's meant to cut and hit

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an artery or even the heart.

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Sorry.

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Anyway, I'm here today to meet

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my friend Jeremy for the first

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time in a few months. He's

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going to show me around this

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beating heart.

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I told you to meet at noon. I

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texted you, I sent you several

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messages, 3:55.

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I mean, it's all academic now,

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you know.

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It's not academic. I have to

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deliver a paper at 9:00 a.m.

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tomorrow to a new...

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I need to go for piss.

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Alright, alright, fine.

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But what I don't understand is

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if you have two people in the

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same room and they know they're

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trying to find each other.

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Look, ask any economist, any

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game theorist. These two people

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eventually are going to find

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each other.

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Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy,

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Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy. What?

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You knock it on the fucking

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head now.

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Our first stop on the little

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choo-choo train tour of Grand

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Central brings us to here.

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The Harlem Line Board. Is there

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anything you can tell us about

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that board?

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Well, I can tell you that Poughkeepsie,

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that's in New York.

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White Plains, I believe, is

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also in New York.

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They go up to either New York

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or Connecticut.

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Okay, please. Golden Service,

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Monica. Golden Service, Monica.

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Please report to the Station

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Master's Office. Golden Service,

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Monica. Please report to the

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Station Master's Office.

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Now, that was for Monica.

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Monica.

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Who is Monica? Do you know her?

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The only Monica I know in New

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York City is the fictional

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Monica Geller from Friends.

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Actually, her name would have

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changed by the end of the

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series. It would be Monica Bing.

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These windows are iconic.

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It's kind of nice because I get

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to open the iconic window.

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You can tell these windows have

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been here for a long time.

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Yes.

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This may have been a room for a

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conductor or it may have been

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just a nice perch for people to,

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you know, communicate with

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others downstairs.

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And now it's an Apple store.

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Now it's an Apple store. A lot

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of historic buildings in New

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York City are turning into

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Apple stores.

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All right, I'll try the green

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one.

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It's the Apple watch.

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And then it comes with a

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special band that only comes

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with a Nike watch.

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Okay.

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So it has two watch matches on

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that.

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And then it has a Nike app

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built inside of it.

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The Nike version of that.

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This is an Apple watch, but it's

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a Nike watch as well.

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It's a Nike Apple watch.

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Yeah, Jeremy, I was thinking

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maybe we could fucking call

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time on the tour and go to Hooters

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or something.

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You know?

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Wait, you want to end the tour

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already?

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Well, we've seen the kiosks and

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the Apple store.

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Like, what more is there to see?

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We could go to Hooters.

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The Apple store really doesn't

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have that great a history.

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I mean, you want to see some of

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the artwork here in the

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terminal, right?

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I suppose, yeah.

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Okay, look.

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Look at the tableau right above

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you.

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Now, I want to tell you some of

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the history of this.

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It was created in 1912 by the

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French artist Paul César Hellyou.

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2,500 stars.

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It's 275 feet long, 125 feet

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off the ground, and it contains

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six of the signs of the zodiac.

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Aquarius.

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The stars are forever, but the

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waitresses, they change.

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Yeah.

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You do have to appreciate them

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while you have the chance.

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Yeah.

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The stars are forever, but the

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stars are forever.