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Tragic news broke yesterday as

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Busted announced they were

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getting back together, despite

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concerns that they're shite.

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Nevertheless, the Busted boys

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looked happy to be around each

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other once again.

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We are...

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This feels like aliens, mate.

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What?

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Doesn't look like there's

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anyone there, lads. Best look

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with the gig.

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What?

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It's Vipers new episode 45.

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A dead whale is washed up on a

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beach there in New York. It's

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pretty sad.

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You'd wonder how that happened,

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you know? Was he into drugs or

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something?

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I wonder was it one of those

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homicides you do hear about?

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Maybe it was your man there,

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Luck, the fucking gangster.

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Getting a picture beside the

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trophy.

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Here, hey, does any of you have

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any whereabouts information on

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this cunt?

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He was smoking a blunt on the

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beach beside the blubbery whale.

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He probably did it.

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Big news for Facebook this week

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as it rolls out some groovy new

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camera filters.

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The company, which is ripping

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off Snapchat, are hoping that

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infants and fools will use the

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filters to add some prescribed

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fun

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to the array of pointless and

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depressing snaps stored on your

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telephone.

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It's snow time in Russia as

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2000 fearless skiers hit the

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slopes wearing only their

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underwear.

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The attempt at trying to break

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the Guinness World Record.

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Hello?

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Heh.

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Uh, the attempt trying to... oof.

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The, uh, attempt at the... the

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Guinness?

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*Clears throat* Sorry. Start

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again. The world record attempt...

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It's fucking... the Guinness.

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Hey wait.

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Speaking of Guinness, why are

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its ads such fucking arty farty

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philosophical wank pieces? It's

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booze. It gets you pissed.

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Ads were more honest back in

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the day.

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Bar, lounges, whiskey. You

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having a drink? Taste that pint.

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Mmm, that looks tasty. You love

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the drink. He's on his own.

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He's on his own. Ain't nothing

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wrong with a bitter drink. Sup

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that dry. Stout. He's still on

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his own. But he's happy. Pints.

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Remember, never ever drink and

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drive. But if you must, just

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have the four. Cause the fifth

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might be the end of you.

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Great news for the obese, hey.

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They've gone and made an app

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for you.

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Uh, just choose the berries? Or

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an apple? To lose weight? Don't

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know how that works?

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If an item appears with green,

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you hit it, you win a point.

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Right. And if an item appears

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in a red circle, then you mustn't,

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you mustn't touch the screen.

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Such wank. No app in the world

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is gonna stop me from eating shite.

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If I want to eat shite, I'll

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eat shite. Do you know what I

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mean?

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Fuck off. There's a desktop

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version too. Space bar. Grapes

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happy face. Chocolate sad face.

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This changes everything.

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I'm definitely gonna buy that

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now and not go for a walk or

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eat fruit.

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Let's watch a film. Oscar

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winner moonlight. Hard hitting

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drama.

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I win. This is what you can't

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stop. Bit of drug demons. You

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can't get nothing man. You know

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what time it is, bro. I keep

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looking at the screen, bro. You

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know what time it is.

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Ah, they're throwing rocks at a

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young fella. He must be being

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bullied or something. Fast

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forward that. Gets a bit boring.

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So sometimes I just fast

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forward through the film until

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I see something interesting.

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Come on!

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His owl lady's on the game, it

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looks like. Tough for a child,

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I'd say. You gonna raise him?

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You gonna keep selling me rocks?

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But he's mad for the crack. Not

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the good crack. Fast forward it

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again. It's...

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It's fucking boring.

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Damn, I know you smoke like

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that.

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The boys are smoking a blunt on

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the beach. Brilliant.

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He's gonna whisper it into his

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ear.

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Right. Bit of gay kissing on

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the beach.

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What's going on here? It's a

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gay wank. Underage is it? There

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we go. All done. Wiped his hand

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on the sand. Fast forward again.

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Fuck it.

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If you'd have told me before I

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watched that there was gonna be

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a gay black wank in it, I

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probably wouldn't have watched

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it.

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It's probably been the most

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exciting thing to have happened.

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Apart from the bullying. Keep

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forwarding. Keep forwarding.

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Keep forwarding.

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Baaah!

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Oh, that's it. Game over. Back

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to the menu. Brilliant.

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Moonlight scores 3 out of 10.

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Moonshite.

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Whoa.