1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,960 It's very hard to trust even your most loyal people because you don't know. 2 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,920 But were you not afraid? 3 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,760 No, no. I have nothing to be afraid of. I have done nothing wrong. 4 00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:18,140 And you found the Gardaí and everything, they quickly established the facts, they sent a file to the DPP. 5 00:00:18,580 --> 00:00:20,660 You found the criminal justice system worked well? 6 00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:21,540 Brilliantly. 7 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:22,180 Okay. 8 00:00:22,180 --> 00:00:29,920 And that's why I would urge other victims out there, don't be afraid because the Gardaí system is brilliant. 9 00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:30,680 Okay. 10 00:00:31,220 --> 00:00:32,200 Now, what are you calling? 11 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,500 Hey, guys. What's going on? 12 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,440 Thanks very much for joining me on this test drive. 13 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,180 John, how are you? 14 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,800 John, nice to see you. Nice to see you, John. 15 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:52,520 John Thomas, John Kerry, John Scanlon, John Ninja Gamer, John Mark Steele, John Ocelot. 16 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:58,600 Just going to do a bit of a test drive in the Mercedes AMG range. 17 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,980 Just taking the baby out for a spin. 18 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,880 Maybe a bit too much of a spin there into the corner. 19 00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:11,140 And we're going for gold here, guys. 20 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,240 I have a best record time of 7.33. 21 00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:19,480 You bagged me a silver trophy. 22 00:01:20,020 --> 00:01:22,380 I don't know if you've ever driven one of these babies. 23 00:01:22,740 --> 00:01:24,700 He has denied that he was involved in the kangaroo course. 24 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:28,340 I don't know if you've ever had the privilege of driving one of these guys. 25 00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:29,560 He said they advised you and the other victim to go to the Gardaí. 26 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:38,460 And last night, Sinn Féin insisted that the primary advice of the victims had been to report the abuse to the force. 27 00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:42,200 And that is their standard advice in all circumstances. 28 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,760 This is the, uh... 29 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,000 One of the new Mercedes AMG range. 30 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,160 Leather seats. 31 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,820 Bluetooth as standard. 32 00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:58,140 Why would he need my Ivan Yates? 33 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:11,040 There's a guy right here driving an old coupe 34 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:20,180 It's a hard stretch, but we're gonna squeeze in past this guy fuck you 35 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,560 Fuck you 36 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:28,380 To what you're saying no way. I don't know who he thought he was Jesus Christ man 37 00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:32,220 Spinning here guys 38 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:40,260 Now we go for the interior 39 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,720 We head down the fruits runner 40 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:57,120 He was walking with artistic children all over the world he was teaching English to children across Madrid 41 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,640 Highland China's guys on about Jerry Adams teaching English in Madrid and 42 00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:05,380 And Sinn Féin 43 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,760 The IRA 44 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,480 So you believe there are other victims out there who haven't come forward? 45 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:18,700 I do now we've got another piece of road here the Mets the Metzgefeld 46 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:26,860 It's a real sweet turn here as we come in hard definitely don't overcook it on the accelerator guys 47 00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:30,700 You need to have a good one especially when you're in the Callenhardt 48 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:36,520 Coming up to the Callenhardt here it's a hard squeeze and up ahead we've got another Mercedes 49 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,520 It's just all about Mercedes today 50 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,520 It's just all about Mercedes today 51 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,520 It's not gonna change 52 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:46,340 This whole saga has had on you personally and your family 53 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:51,340 There we go this coochie coo here 54 00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:55,340 Trying to get ahead of me on the the verse siphon 55 00:03:55,340 --> 00:04:09,340 I'm gonna fucking strange him out of it there and move by his stupid stupid car so it's a great car look all Mercedes are great but I mean that is just... 56 00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:12,140 What the fuck is he playing at? 57 00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:14,140 This is drive time 58 00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:18,780 Getting a good lap time can be daunting 59 00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:22,060 But it doesn't have to be Samantha 60 00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:28,240 Sorry about this guys 61 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:34,640 Just had to take a break there it's getting a little bit too much a little bit too fruity 62 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:40,320 Someone driving a fucking road car there it's a touring car or something 63 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:52,800 I don't think they even care about me they're not caring about damaging the body work they're definitely not preparing for me to overtake on the left hand side 64 00:04:52,800 --> 00:05:02,240 I am more relaxed I actually I walked into a local supermarket yesterday and I met an old friend of mine from my year old friend of mine from my year old man and ask about test driving the new Mercedes 65 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:14,320 Thanks very much Connor Fowler thank you very much how much would they give me off the new Mercedes if I trade in my 06 Clio? 66 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,840 Not very much Connor? 67 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:29,840 Not very much is the answer to that I'm gonna have to say in fact I don't know anyone and I've I worked as a senior sales executive for Mercedes Ireland for like 15 years 68 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:35,520 Not once did we have anyone come in to trade in a Renault 69 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,680 Do you know what I mean? 70 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,440 A Clio? 71 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,680 Go on! 72 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:42,640 Go on! 73 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,160 Hop skip and jump! 74 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,160 That's what we would have told you! 75 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:46,960 She never will be! 76 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,160 But thanks very much! 77 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,960 Look at this! 78 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:57,440 She's driving a what's that? A fucking soccer mom car or something! 79 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,800 Go on! 80 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,760 You might as well go out and buy yourself a Dacia! 81 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,760 If you're driving one of those things! 82 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,960 Do you know who drives those? Soccer moms! 83 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,720 And grannies! 84 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,640 It might be someone politically involved! 85 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,360 It could be... 86 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,560 Get the hell out of my way! 87 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,880 I'm driving the latest AMG range fresh out of the showroom in Geneva! 88 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,480 Okay guys! 89 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,720 Just sold the second house now! 90 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,160 Just so I could afford this! 91 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,720 I actually knew a guy! 92 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,280 I knew a guy from Greystones! 93 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,760 Who licked a man's sack! 94 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,360 Just so that he could get tickets to the Geneva Motor Show! 95 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:40,800 And he... 96 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:41,760 That man's name? 97 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,280 Ivan Yates! 98 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:51,120 Let's just move on! 99 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,520 We're moving on fast and swift here guys! 100 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,760 Not gonna be a great lap! 101 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,200 It's not gonna be a great lap! 102 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,000 It's gonna be... 103 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,680 We're probably gonna be over bronze! 104 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,360 As if you're a new person! 105 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,280 Especially like when I... 106 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,640 We've got another couple of coochie coos coming up here! 107 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,400 Just out of work! 108 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,600 I've seen three... 109 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,400 Fuck off man! 110 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,520 You wanna get... 111 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,360 This is Mondello! 112 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,640 Not the M50! 113 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,840 Get off my road! 114 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,040 I've seen a lot of coochie coos! 115 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:19,680 See you later! 116 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,240 Watch that! 117 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:20,240 I've seen a lot of coochie coos! 118 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,240 I've seen a lot of coochie coos! 119 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:22,320 I've seen a lot of coochie coos! 120 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,280 I've seen a lot of coochie coos! 121 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,320 Fuck me man! 122 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,560 These guys need to go into their local Zurich brokers soon! 123 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,560 Sooner rather than later! 124 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,320 Because it's never too early! 125 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,640 Never ever too early! 126 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,240 Thank you for joining us on The Hard Shoulder! 127 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,000 Thank you for joining us on The Hard Shoulder! 128 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,880 With Ivan Yates! 129 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,120 Nissan! 130 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,120 Wow! 131 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,120 Test drive today! 132 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,800 Test drive to Nissan! 133 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,400 Go away! 134 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,640 Have a great afternoon! 135 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,840 Have a great day! 136 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,680 The number one in Ireland for laptops and cameras, TVs and all things 10! 137 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,080 It's a great deal! 138 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:58,800 It's a great deal! 139 00:07:58,800 --> 00:07:59,440 It's a great deal! 140 00:07:59,440 --> 00:07:59,920 It's a great deal! 141 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:00,320 It's a great deal! 142 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,000 Thanks very much there Mutt Man! 143 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:02,960 It's been sipping cold tea! 144 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,560 A Long Island iced tea! 145 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,720 Thanks very much Mutt Man! 146 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,000 Thank you so much for that! 147 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:17,680 We'll turn those adverts off for a moment just so we can experience raw driving sound and power! 148 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:21,840 I just put pen to paper on a new pension deal from Zurich! 149 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,360 Johnny thanks so much! 150 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,280 You should... 151 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,080 I just put pen... 152 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:26,400 Whoa! 153 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,440 Fuck John! 154 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,040 No Johnny! 155 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,320 How are you getting on dude? 156 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,280 Look brother man Johnny... 157 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,240 Uh... 158 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,920 You asked there did Fontaine... 159 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,280 I just spoke to your wife... 160 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,200 You've been the victim of bank fraud! 161 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,040 Ivan Yates! 162 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:48,800 Thank you so much! 163 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,600 Look Johnny's asking there did Fontaine ever finish L.A. Noire? 164 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:54,960 Well... 165 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,200 Gonna be honest with you guys... 166 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,200 No is the answer and... 167 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,840 Secondly, he's probably gonna be back... 168 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,160 Either tonight or tomorrow... 169 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,160 I can't... 170 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,440 I can't guarantee that... 171 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:09,600 I'd say tomorrow... 172 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:16,560 Look we've been seriously rebuffed here guys... 173 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:20,080 Ivan Yates thanks so much... 174 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:20,880 And Johnny... 175 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,800 We're now at the Flans Garden... 176 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,880 Which is one of the hardest sections of the track... 177 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,320 Okay guys... 178 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,720 One of the hardest sections of the track coming up... 179 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,240 One of the hardest sections of the track coming up... 180 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,680 And this is where things get a little bit sexy... 181 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,200 Because we've a hard straight... 182 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,640 Just... 183 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:40,640 Just... 184 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,640 Around these necks... 185 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,640 The neck of this bend... 186 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,760 It's a real tough cookie to crack... 187 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,640 But as my granny always used to say... 188 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,080 That's the way the cookie crumbles... 189 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,520 And now we enter the Schwalzenbarnschwanz... 190 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,960 Another fine mighty German corner... 191 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,080 At the Nord... 192 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,080 The northern section of the... 193 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,080 Nurburgring Nordschleifer... 194 00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,980 You bet your life on it... 195 00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:12,080 I'm gonna be fucking making bronze time... 196 00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:14,080 And that's gonna be no joke... 197 00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:17,380 And we're gonna keep doing this guys... 198 00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:19,080 Bronze is the aim of the game here... 199 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,080 I don't say that lightly... 200 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,660 I don't even fucking attribute any weight to the words I'm saying... 201 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,080 So I don't even know why I'm assuring you... 202 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,080 That it isn't a light meaning of the word... 203 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,640 In fact... 204 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,980 I didn't really throw any weight behind the wording... 205 00:10:36,980 --> 00:10:38,640 In that sentence at all... 206 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,340 Basically if I'm... 207 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,980 If I'm getting heavy... 208 00:10:42,980 --> 00:10:44,740 You'll fucking know about it John... 209 00:10:44,740 --> 00:10:45,580 Alright... 210 00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:46,060 Did you... 211 00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:47,560 Did you speak to Zürich yet? 212 00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,700 This is the mighty straight I was talking about... 213 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,640 Bill Stein... 214 00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:52,640 Bill Stein... 215 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,700 Right underneath the Bill Stein Bridge... 216 00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:56,640 We go... 217 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,640 We've got another chicane coming up... 218 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:00,160 Here we go... 219 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,640 Slow down for the chicane guys... 220 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,200 Don't hit the apex... 221 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,200 Or you're gonna make that tail spin... 222 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,540 And we're gonna go another time... 223 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,200 Once more guys... 224 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,200 Another chicane... 225 00:11:11,340 --> 00:11:12,200 And one more... 226 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,440 It's a tough nut to crack... 227 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,200 We're not going in for pit stops this time... 228 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,100 What we're gonna do is... 229 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:19,040 We're gonna finish up... 230 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,600 With a possible bronze... 231 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,600 And that's no good for no man or beast... 232 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,600 That's no good for no man or beast... 233 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,600 Bronze... 234 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,600 Get out of that... 235 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:28,600 Get up out of that... 236 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,600 We're not going for bronze... 237 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,600 We're going for gold baby... 238 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,160 Pure... 239 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,160 Pure mother gold... 240 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,160 I'd offer you a bit of schlur... 241 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,160 But I raided most of that last night... 242 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,160 You don't need to blame me though... 243 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,160 After the weak iPad... 244 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,720 Gav from effing... 245 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,720 Thanks so much buddy... 246 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:48,720 For the... 247 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:49,720 For the... 248 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:49,720 The... 249 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:49,720 The... 250 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:50,720 345... 251 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:51,720 Gav... 252 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:53,720 Gav from... 253 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,720 Gav from effing... 254 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,720 Gav from effing with the 345... 255 00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:57,720 Thanks so much... 256 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:58,720 It's great... 257 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,720 I've just spoke to your wife... 258 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,720 You've been the victim of bank fraud... 259 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,120 You've been the victim of bank fraud... 260 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,720 Schwalzen Ben... 261 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,580 Sorry to have to say buddy... 262 00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:12,480 You've been the victim of bank fraud... 263 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,680 You've no money left in your account... 264 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:21,680 Thanks so much Schwalzen Ben... 265 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:22,860 Really nice... 266 00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:23,720 Really kind... 267 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,160 I really appreciate it... 268 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,560 Okay... 269 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,740 What's Yates saying? 270 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,000 Let's get a bit of Yates on... 271 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,000 Let's stick a bit of Yates on there guys... 272 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,720 When the jury in the Anacreatal trial... 273 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,460 Has begun watching... 274 00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:39,960 Well let's turn that off... 275 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,200 Bit of a dark news segment there... 276 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,240 We can't have that guys... 277 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,880 We're gonna move on here... 278 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,040 Move on swift and fast... 279 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,240 And tackle the... 280 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,280 The Nürburgring... 281 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,280 Nürburgring Nordschleife... 282 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,200 For yet another pop... 283 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,480 At the Golden Trofe... 284 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,720 As we move into the first bend... 285 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:00,280 Liquid smooth... 286 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,280 Tickling the apex... 287 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,240 With a feather duster of a tire tread... 288 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,240 Tread... 289 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,240 Don't ever... 290 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:07,740 Mock me... 291 00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:10,240 Don't ever mock the afflicted either... 292 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,680 It's not good... 293 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,740 Especially if you're up there in your ivory tower guys... 294 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:15,660 People below you... 295 00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:16,740 Don't feel comfortable... 296 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,700 When you're up there... 297 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,200 Driving an AMG... 298 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,200 Around the Nürburgring... 299 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,200 For the second time in your life... 300 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,200 Trying to make a pop at the Golden Trofe... 301 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,200 You've got all sorts of Mercs in front of you... 302 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,160 Old new coupe... 303 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,160 Sedan... 304 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,160 Sports range... 305 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,920 Soccer mom... 306 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,160 Kind of jobs... 307 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,160 Stuff your granny a drive... 308 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:42,500 Do you know... 309 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,160 If you've got a bit of spare change in the back pocket... 310 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:50,160 Why not throw your granny a fucking Mercs soccer mom job... 311 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:55,720 Make her feel special and wanted... 312 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,120 As we move past the coupe... 313 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,540 As we move past the coupe... 314 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,120 At an alarming pace John... 315 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,120 Interestingly enough... 316 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,120 Dara Fitzgerald... 317 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:15,360 Right... 318 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,080 We'll start that again guys... 319 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:22,580 When I slither home... 320 00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:24,540 After a hard day out in the fields... 321 00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:25,780 There's nothing I like more than... 322 00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:27,080 Lashing a few shtickings... 323 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,500 Into the fireplace... 324 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,040 And setting fire to them... 325 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,920 Be careful not to burn your hands like I did... 326 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,920 While I'm waiting for that baby to get going... 327 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,800 I do a few rolls on the ground... 328 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,080 And a few reptilious repetitions... 329 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,040 Just to get the blood flowing... 330 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,120 Once those flames are licking high... 331 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,040 It's time to shtick your coal in it... 332 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,920 You can generate extra drafthage... 333 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,040 By using your gooch as a waft... 334 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,120 Now all that's left is to sit back... 335 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,040 And warm your sack by the flames... 336 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,320 This message was brought to you... 337 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,040 By Firelighters... 338 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:32,840 *Rubble Music* 339 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,720 Right, sorry about that guys! 340 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,720 *Rubble Music* 341 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,720 You're fucked! 342 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:45,720 *Rubble Music* 343 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,720 *Rubble Music* 344 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,720 Sorry about that guys! 345 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,720 *Rubble Music* 346 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,720 Technical Gremlins go- *Rubble Music* 347 00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,720 You should too John! 348 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,720 C-Mac Millionaire, thanks so much buddy! 349 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,720 We're gonna go- *Rubble Music* 350 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,720 You're fucked! 351 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,720 *Rubble Music* 352 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,720 *Rubble Music* 353 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:21,720 *Rubble Music* 354 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,720 *Rubble Music* 355 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,720 Robby Brothers, thanks so much man! 356 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,720 *Rubble Music* 357 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:30,220 *cough* 358 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:35,760 Oh fuck... 359 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:42,380 *ahem* 360 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:58,520 Technical gremlins guys! Sorry about that. Gonna have to stop looking at stuff. 361 00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:04,160 Gonna have to just cop on, you know. Look, it's been a tough day. We're trying to get gold. 362 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:15,680 Where was I? Yeah, I was talking about my friend, interestingly enough guys, a friend who is a Zurich broker. 363 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:21,620 Dara Fitzgerald, he was saying this, he drives a coupe. A 364 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:27,140 1967 Mercedes. Solid pearl Clio white. 365 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:33,660 And he drives that insanely. Around Donna Bate. 366 00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:44,040 On a weekend. He's also, he's got, he shook hands with Jackie Stewart. And he's good friends also with Eddie Jordan. 367 00:17:44,660 --> 00:18:03,600 Also, while we're on the subject of Dara Fitzgerald, my friend, the Zurich stock broker. Zurich broker, he... this is the kind of car he drives up the Quiddlebacker Hach. And he's got a 1967 Mercedes AMG original coupe. 368 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:09,540 And he likes to, he likes to fling that. He likes to fling that down the flug plots. When he has time. 369 00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:26,480 Every June and July, he's got to the Nürburgring. Just to bring back the memories. Dust off the cobwebs. And say, "Do you know what? Fuck it all. I'm taking the Merc over to Zurr. We're gonna... we're gonna drive that into the ground." 370 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:35,600 round and he actually was him he's the first guy who got me into Zurich in a big way because up until 371 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:43,240 then didn't really give the pension much thought you know he was like John have you ever you know 372 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:49,700 you're hot you're halfway through the round the big round of golf known as life you're currently 373 00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:59,980 on the back nine you're currently you're currently on the back nine John and you need to start thinking 374 00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:10,100 about what you're gonna do once you reach the 19th hole I said you know what man fuck you you can stick 375 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:19,060 your pension up your hole because I've busted my bollocks all throughout my life you know left school 376 00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:31,780 took a gap year out in mongoo went and helped peasants out in mongoo came back straight into a high power 377 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:37,440 business degree went for a postgrad in the dbs skies 378 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:47,340 managed to get a foot that my foot in the door I was always the future was always sealed because my father 379 00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:59,260 partner at AMG and KPMG as well I managed to make partner at KPMG at the age of 23 380 00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:12,060 and since then things have just been going so swiftly and smoothly there never even gave the back nine much thought 381 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:22,780 thought Dara was like listen I'm gonna give you the power powerpoint of a lifetime in a in just a sec 382 00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:33,980 and I said why are you gonna give me a why just a sec Dara why not now why not bust out the fucking lap now 383 00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:49,260 and he said my driving is shocking guys and um anyway yeah he was driving at the time said look I want to give you a powerpoint on a jurick John 384 00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:52,000 I said listen John 385 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,640 even though your name's Dara 386 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,020 I'm just gonna call you John from now on 387 00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:58,140 right? And he said look 388 00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:00,260 I'm gonna give you 389 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,660 a powerpoint in a sec 390 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,300 right after this 391 00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,120 and I said what's this? And he goes 392 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,340 this. And he just puts 393 00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:10,380 the fucking foot down in the coupe 394 00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:12,440 and goes 395 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,400 right, he just lifts 396 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,120 lifts at need for speed 397 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,500 drops the gear knob 398 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,760 down to third, accelerates 399 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,480 past all the 400 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,680 fucking scum in front of him 401 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,780 and overtakes, overtakes 402 00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:27,660 overtook 403 00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,860 overtook, overtook 404 00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:31,840 and he was just screaming 405 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,280 screaming 406 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,680 and he was just 407 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,300 screaming out the window 408 00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:41,960 look at me go 409 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,040 look at me go 410 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,000 look at me 411 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:53,900 look at me 412 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,280 do you know 413 00:21:55,280 --> 00:22:00,980 when I slither home 414 00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:02,660 after a hard day out in the fields 415 00:22:02,660 --> 00:22:04,900 there's nothing I like more than lashing a few 416 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,300 shtickings into the fireplace 417 00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,320 and setting fire to them 418 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,340 be careful not to burn your hands like I did 419 00:22:10,340 --> 00:22:12,240 while I'm waiting for that baby to get going 420 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,160 I do a few rolls on the ground 421 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,520 and a few reptilius repetitions 422 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,080 just to get the blood flowing 423 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,460 once those flames are licking high 424 00:22:20,460 --> 00:22:22,480 it's time to shtick your coal in it 425 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,180 you can generate extra drafdage 426 00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:28,280 by using your gooch as a waft 427 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,520 now all that's left is to sit back and warm your sack by the flames 428 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:37,180 this message was brought to you by fire lighters 429 00:22:37,180 --> 00:22:53,300 so there I was 430 00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:58,120 passenger seat of the coupe mercedes pearl white 431 00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:01,540 1967 classic car 432 00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:02,560 limited edition 433 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,960 passenger seat no less 434 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:09,540 darif it's captain darif it's gerald 435 00:23:09,540 --> 00:23:10,620 at the fucking helm 436 00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:14,580 zurich broker 437 00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:15,880 he was a zurich broker 438 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,760 and he's like 439 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:18,840 look john 440 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,420 you know me 441 00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:21,560 I was like darif 442 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,420 you don't need to tell me anything more 443 00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,120 you've convinced me about zurich 444 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,260 I'm sold right 445 00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:29,520 he says look I'm gonna give you a little powerpoint 446 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,980 I was like yeah alright 447 00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:36,600 bust out the lap 448 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,780 and let's get grooving 449 00:23:38,780 --> 00:23:42,500 he says I'll give you a powerpoint john 450 00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:43,660 right after this 451 00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:45,900 I go what's this 452 00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,520 and he goes 453 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:52,460 drops the fucking gear shift down a few notches 454 00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:55,980 like a fucking speeding bullet train 455 00:23:55,980 --> 00:23:59,160 on the m50 past all the schleps 456 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,060 in their sedans 457 00:24:01,060 --> 00:24:04,180 their fucking hatchbacks 458 00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:08,180 and he's just going like a fucking cannibal 459 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:16,980 like a fucking cannonball down the m50 right 460 00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:20,580 electric windows as standard 461 00:24:20,580 --> 00:24:22,540 in the coupe 1967 462 00:24:22,540 --> 00:24:24,420 weren't even invented back then 463 00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:26,260 but he had them installed 464 00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:29,820 he hit the button on his mobile phone 465 00:24:29,820 --> 00:24:30,660 you shouldn't even text 466 00:24:30,660 --> 00:24:35,060 but he had an app for electric windows on his fucking iphone galaxy net 9 467 00:24:35,060 --> 00:24:40,160 literally it was like this 468 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,140 I mean this is just a shitty almira right 469 00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:45,140 you wouldn't catch me driving this piece of shit 470 00:24:45,140 --> 00:24:46,920 This is what he was like. 471 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:48,560 Wait. 472 00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:50,560 One moment. 473 00:24:50,660 --> 00:24:51,140 One moment. 474 00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,200 This is where he was. 475 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,340 We're driving along. 476 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,280 I'm expecting a PowerPoint on the M50. 477 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,260 And this. 478 00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:03,760 This is what Dara says. 479 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,360 He's doing 120. 480 00:25:10,060 --> 00:25:10,460 Could be. 481 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:11,940 He's probably doing 140. 482 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,540 Do you all know who I am? 483 00:25:16,460 --> 00:25:18,760 Do you fucking know who I am? 484 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,720 I'm Dara. 485 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,900 I'm Dara. 486 00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:56,120 I think we might stick a bit of Yates on John. 487 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:02,200 I love adverts on the radio. 488 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:02,960 They're great. 489 00:26:03,060 --> 00:26:03,360 Yeah. 490 00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:04,480 Sorry about the wait. 491 00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:05,800 We've been really busy. 492 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,440 And with just a couple of vans. 493 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,580 You need a bigger fleet. 494 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,400 And you need a bigger fleet. 495 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,720 You can increase the number of vans you rent when you need to. 496 00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:18,160 And return unused vans when you don't. 497 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:18,960 No commitment. 498 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:19,840 No hassle. 499 00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:20,460 Just... 500 00:26:20,460 --> 00:26:21,340 Anonomics. 501 00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:21,820 Yeah. 502 00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:24,620 Find out more at Northgatevehiclehire.ie. 503 00:26:24,980 --> 00:26:26,020 Terms and conditions apply. 504 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:26,980 Dot IE. 505 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:28,680 Ah, it's summer. 506 00:26:30,940 --> 00:26:33,980 And if you want to know what the weather will be like, don't ask us. 507 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,160 But if you want help... 508 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,020 Malin159Mal. 509 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,680 Not smoking anything, man. 510 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:40,560 Modes game. 511 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:43,460 Modes game. 512 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:44,460 The smoke will just... 513 00:26:44,980 --> 00:26:45,780 Completely... 514 00:26:45,780 --> 00:26:47,300 Your lungs will degenerate. 515 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,060 You'll be coughing. 516 00:26:48,220 --> 00:26:48,860 You'll be spluttering. 517 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:49,800 You'll be stinking. 518 00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:53,000 Tenor out of your pocket a day. 519 00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:56,100 If you're a 20 a day man like they used to be, you know. 520 00:26:56,100 --> 00:26:58,740 They're coming, kicking fast. 521 00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:02,560 The inside the game with exclusive live matches and expert analysis. 522 00:27:02,660 --> 00:27:04,440 So tough and so skillful. 523 00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:06,600 Catch the unmissable action of the GAA. 524 00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:09,880 Catch the unmissable action of the GAA. 525 00:27:11,940 --> 00:27:12,380 Whoa! 526 00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:13,880 Sky GAA. 527 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,000 New Sky Sports customers. 528 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,660 Sky TV minimum term and T's and C's apply. 529 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,040 Hiring a car on holiday? 530 00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:20,700 Don't get ripped off at the car rental desk abroad. 531 00:27:21,220 --> 00:27:25,480 Big shout out, guys, to Manchester City. 532 00:27:26,140 --> 00:27:27,640 Did the business there. 533 00:27:27,740 --> 00:27:29,140 That's just 14 cents a day. 534 00:27:29,420 --> 00:27:32,360 Cover includes damage to the screen, tires, keys, and more. 535 00:27:32,540 --> 00:27:33,280 Watt Ford. 536 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,320 And the Football Association trophy. 537 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,080 Oh, trophy. 538 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,560 They won the FA trophy. 539 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:41,820 44, 47. 540 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:42,960 Over in England. 541 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:51,320 I started supporting Man City there a couple years ago. 542 00:27:51,620 --> 00:27:52,820 I haven't looked back since. 543 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,180 Was Chelsea before that? 544 00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:01,660 Was Manchester United for like 10 years before that? 545 00:28:01,660 --> 00:28:03,420 That quiet refinement when you see it. 546 00:28:03,740 --> 00:28:07,440 And with a new mild hybrid electric engine and intuitive technology. 547 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:19,620 The new Range Rover Evoke? 548 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,160 Book the test drive tonight. 549 00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:27,340 We're doing a midnight test drive. 550 00:28:31,580 --> 00:28:33,420 Now we're at the dot in your hoe. 551 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:38,040 We're going for a, it looks like it's going to be a bronze time again, guys. 552 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,620 It's not something I anticipated, to be honest. 553 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,320 I wanted to go for silver at least. 554 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:48,760 But we're going to be, I'd say, in and around 7.55. 555 00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:51,700 Probably about, you're looking at 8.20. 556 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:52,960 8.21. 557 00:28:55,100 --> 00:29:01,020 Yeah, I'd say about 8.10. 558 00:29:01,020 --> 00:29:02,980 8.5, 8.10. 559 00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:04,980 8.10. 560 00:29:06,420 --> 00:29:09,600 Yeah, hopefully Mandela at the weekend with Dara, you know. 561 00:29:11,580 --> 00:29:17,420 He saves the coupe for Nurburgring during the June, July, you know, when he summers and jure. 562 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,480 Fuck the Leaf, man. 563 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,060 Smoke the bullets, not the Leaf. 564 00:29:26,060 --> 00:29:27,800 This is Newstalk. 565 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:46,120 Well, that uplifting music was Zadok the Priest by Handel. 566 00:29:46,180 --> 00:29:50,040 And we played that because the future King of England is in Whitlow today. 567 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,160 And Henry McKean is there for us. 568 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,420 This Prince of Prince Charles trip was kept top secret. 569 00:29:55,580 --> 00:29:56,960 Only made public this afternoon. 570 00:29:57,300 --> 00:29:59,460 Of course, the great unwashed didn't know about it. 571 00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:00,580 KGC. 572 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:05,800 But to find out why Prince Charles is in the Garden County and what he got up to, Henry joins me on the line. 573 00:30:06,580 --> 00:30:08,000 We'll leave that there for a moment. 574 00:30:09,460 --> 00:30:12,220 Just needed the Newstalk to straighten things out. 575 00:30:12,220 --> 00:30:21,460 I was getting a little bit too giddy before because the prospect of reaching the gold trove on the Nurburgring Nordschleife. 576 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:25,120 Just a bit of a breakdown, guys, as to what we're trying to achieve here. 577 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:30,080 To the left of my head there is the track. 578 00:30:30,580 --> 00:30:32,140 It's a long track, okay? 579 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,060 You're probably looking at about 8K. 580 00:30:35,460 --> 00:30:37,740 I'd say you could be looking at 15K. 581 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,620 You could actually be looking at about 25K. 582 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,260 I just spoke to your wife. 583 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,140 You've been the victim of bank fraud. 584 00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:52,820 You're going to ATN. 585 00:30:52,940 --> 00:30:54,580 Thanks so much for that tip. 586 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,840 I don't know if I'm going to ATN. 587 00:30:57,940 --> 00:30:58,780 I haven't been invited. 588 00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:00,520 Get on to it. 589 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:09,060 If you want me to go, if you want me to do a show there, I suggest you contact your local ATN broker. 590 00:31:09,940 --> 00:31:12,220 Say you want Vyper Francis Higgins. 591 00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:16,540 If Francis Higgins gets booked, then I'm going to go with Francis, you know? 592 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,480 He's the ringmaster. 593 00:31:18,900 --> 00:31:20,240 He's letting me do the stream. 594 00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:24,900 Big shout out to Francis Higgins for letting me do the stream, guys. 595 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:29,940 But, um... 596 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,580 You know, I'd offer you a bit of slur, but I raided most of that last night. 597 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:36,460 Do you know if you blame me, though? 598 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,400 After the week I've had... 599 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,560 Primo Karma, thanks so much, man. 600 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,160 After the week I've had... 601 00:31:43,220 --> 00:31:43,900 Go on. 602 00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:45,700 I think I fucking need it. 603 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,940 No amount of fucking Ivan Yates and... 604 00:31:49,940 --> 00:31:52,720 Apples and bananas are going to fucking save me. 605 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,420 I just spoke to your wife. 606 00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,360 You've been the victim of bank fraud. 607 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,840 Jacob Rees, Mog MP, thanks so much. 608 00:32:00,900 --> 00:32:02,480 You've been the victim of bank fraud. 609 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,180 But yeah, I had a great time at ATN Festival last year. 610 00:32:08,180 --> 00:32:10,180 I didn't make an appearance myself, you know? 611 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:17,220 Went to watch Francis Higgins do his seminal PowerPoint display. 612 00:32:17,460 --> 00:32:17,940 I love... 613 00:32:17,940 --> 00:32:19,960 I'm a sucker for a PowerPoint, guys. 614 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:20,840 You know that. 615 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,080 The stuff I saw Francis doing, it kind of inspired me. 616 00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:28,340 Let's just say it inspired me. 617 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,480 To pick up the pace myself. 618 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,840 No doubt he's inspired quite a lot of other people as well. 619 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,900 But yeah, I mean, that's that, you know? 620 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,640 He hasn't been seen in a while. 621 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,580 I heard he was doing the getaway stream last night and was watching that. 622 00:32:53,580 --> 00:32:55,220 Gotta be honest with you guys. 623 00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:57,280 Not my favorite. 624 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,300 Not my favorite stream. 625 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,620 More of a Fontaine man myself. 626 00:33:04,380 --> 00:33:05,400 Okay, guys. 627 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,380 Be more of a Fontaine man myself. 628 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,300 But I gotta give a big shout out to TK. 629 00:33:17,980 --> 00:33:19,280 TK is... 630 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:24,280 The Medici... 631 00:33:24,980 --> 00:33:26,000 Of the stream. 632 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,280 He is the benefactor. 633 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,280 He is the mystery benefactor, which is... 634 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,280 Powering... 635 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,780 The Nürburgring Nordschleife. 636 00:33:36,860 --> 00:33:37,360 And... 637 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,240 Words cannot... 638 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:40,240 Words cannot... 639 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,820 Express how grateful I and Francis and the team are. 640 00:33:45,660 --> 00:33:46,040 That... 641 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,700 To everyone who watches and tunes in. 642 00:33:49,380 --> 00:33:49,800 Do you know? 643 00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:54,320 But yeah, that's great. 644 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:55,080 And... 645 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,780 We finally got a... 646 00:33:57,780 --> 00:34:01,560 We got a silver trope on this there before I came on stream. 647 00:34:01,700 --> 00:34:03,460 Just wanted to do a test drive, you know? 648 00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:05,300 Unfortunately... 649 00:34:05,300 --> 00:34:07,880 I'm relaying tales of yore. 650 00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:09,820 While I'm going around the track. 651 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:10,300 And... 652 00:34:11,420 --> 00:34:12,300 It's... 653 00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:13,700 It's kind of hard, guys. 654 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:15,040 It's... 655 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,160 It's getting tough. 656 00:34:16,340 --> 00:34:16,640 Like, you know? 657 00:34:16,740 --> 00:34:17,300 It's... 658 00:34:17,300 --> 00:34:19,400 Coordination is kind of hard. 659 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:19,920 So... 660 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:21,520 Let's just jump into this again. 661 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,500 Welcome to the AMG Driving Academy. 662 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:29,300 Here you will learn the techniques and rules necessary to drive the hallowed Nürburgring. 663 00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:35,240 Last of all, it's time to try a non-stop. 664 00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:39,940 Lap of the Nürburgring Nordschleife in the SLS AMG. 665 00:34:40,700 --> 00:34:44,740 Even if you've had no problems driving it in the 300 SL. 666 00:34:45,540 --> 00:34:50,820 The greater average speed will make driving this without error much more difficult. 667 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:52,400 If you want to... 668 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:57,860 If you find that you keep making mistakes, try driving around at 80% of your limit, guys. 669 00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:58,180 Right? 670 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,900 Learn the rhythm of your run as you did in the beginner's lessons. 671 00:35:02,020 --> 00:35:05,580 From there, you can start work to reduce your time. 672 00:35:06,380 --> 00:35:09,680 We all know what time means, don't we? 673 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,420 Time is all around as it's ticking away. 674 00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:13,520 Ever-present. 675 00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:14,660 Fleeting. 676 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,320 You'll never get these moments back. 677 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:18,200 Okay? 678 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,560 You're watching me now, and I'm telling you, you're never going to get these moments back. 679 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,160 Okay, guys. 680 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,480 Let's go for another run. 681 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,600 Cause celebraire. 682 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,080 I just put pen to paper on a new pension deal from Zurich. 683 00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:45,400 You should too, John. 684 00:35:45,620 --> 00:35:47,040 Johnson's wireless printer. 685 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:48,560 Thanks very much, buddy. 686 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,240 Are Zurich regulated by the central bank? 687 00:35:52,340 --> 00:35:52,760 Yes. 688 00:35:54,060 --> 00:35:57,240 Financial regulator completely above board. 689 00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:57,700 Okay? 690 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,180 We're one of the best investment banks in Europe. 691 00:36:01,180 --> 00:36:02,580 Cause celebraire. 692 00:36:02,580 --> 00:36:06,060 I just put pen to paper on a new pension deal from Zurich. 693 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:07,420 You should too, John. 694 00:36:07,420 --> 00:36:12,240 Thanks very much for that. 695 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:14,640 We're going to start again now. 696 00:36:14,700 --> 00:36:15,440 Brain schluck. 697 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:16,960 Thanks very much for that. 698 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,160 Slow down. 699 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:25,240 It's almost six o'clock. 700 00:36:25,540 --> 00:36:30,540 Time to get down to your local Mercedes dealer and ask about test driving the new Mercedes. 701 00:36:30,540 --> 00:36:32,280 Thanks so much, Mama Duck. 702 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,460 Big shout out to Mama Duck. 703 00:36:34,540 --> 00:36:34,800 Look. 704 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:40,320 Was hoping, um, I'd see you there, Mama Duck. 705 00:36:40,380 --> 00:36:44,500 You want to get down to your local Zurich broker tonight. 706 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:50,400 They're going to be holding a 24-hour darkness, darkness into light. 707 00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:52,960 Zurich Broke-a-thon. 708 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,740 In aid of Davos. 709 00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:58,740 All the poor people out in Davos. 710 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,180 So, you want to get yourself down to that tonight. 711 00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:04,320 If you haven't thought about your pension. 712 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,920 If you haven't thought about how many paydays you've got left. 713 00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:10,180 Then, I'm sorry guys. 714 00:37:10,300 --> 00:37:11,680 But, I don't want to say. 715 00:37:11,860 --> 00:37:12,980 I'm not going to pull any punches. 716 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,260 You're fucked. 717 00:37:15,060 --> 00:37:15,420 Okay. 718 00:37:19,100 --> 00:37:20,080 You're fucked. 719 00:37:23,740 --> 00:37:26,860 Get down to see my friend Killian Davos. 720 00:37:27,660 --> 00:37:30,340 He's senior sales advisor at Mercedes Ireland. 721 00:37:30,460 --> 00:37:36,960 And, he also has the keys to the Zurich broker out in Dalky. 722 00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:38,980 He's just a key holder. 723 00:37:39,660 --> 00:37:42,060 And, we can go there tonight if you want. 724 00:37:43,020 --> 00:37:44,020 But, don't tell the owner. 725 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,220 And, we'll have a little bit of a sesh. 726 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,220 I'd offer you a bit of schlur. 727 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,740 But, I raided most of that last night. 728 00:37:51,180 --> 00:37:51,580 Killian. 729 00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:52,640 You don't even blame me though. 730 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,400 After the week I've had. 731 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,220 Killian's going to be down there tonight. 732 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,260 At the AMG Broke-a-thon. 733 00:37:58,360 --> 00:37:59,500 Down in Dalky. 734 00:38:00,740 --> 00:38:02,420 He's going to have a bottle of schlur. 735 00:38:03,780 --> 00:38:04,820 And, don't let that. 736 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,280 Don't be dismayed about that. 737 00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:09,400 Because, if I know Killian William. 738 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,060 And, I think I do Killian. 739 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,200 You're probably going to taint that schlur. 740 00:38:15,020 --> 00:38:16,900 With something a little bit naughty. 741 00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:19,660 A little bit nasty. 742 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,320 Something a little bit cheeky. 743 00:38:24,380 --> 00:38:27,440 Because, I hear you're a devil for the vodka. 744 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:28,960 Okay. 745 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,280 Grey Goose. 746 00:38:31,660 --> 00:38:34,100 I'd be a Grey Goose man myself, John. 747 00:38:35,700 --> 00:38:37,880 Thanks very much, display name. 748 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:40,280 And, Killian William. 749 00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,660 Look, I need to drive this Mercedes. 750 00:38:43,860 --> 00:38:45,320 Please, just. 751 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:49,120 Don't get upset with me if I'm missing. 752 00:38:49,980 --> 00:38:51,740 The chat messages there, guys. 753 00:38:52,900 --> 00:38:54,360 I can see you in the chat. 754 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:55,540 Missed, Andrew. 755 00:38:58,180 --> 00:38:58,740 Jimmy Jusis. 756 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,220 The long-standing Jusis man. 757 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:05,600 Jesus, guys. 758 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,200 We're on the Schweiden cruise. 759 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:08,900 We just. 760 00:39:09,140 --> 00:39:10,980 Now, we're heading into Orenburg. 761 00:39:11,340 --> 00:39:13,320 Which is a real nice bend. 762 00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:15,000 A real sweet bend. 763 00:39:15,140 --> 00:39:17,200 Tickle the apex with the feather duster. 764 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:19,160 The tire treads. 765 00:39:19,300 --> 00:39:21,380 Made, crafted from hard rubber. 766 00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:25,100 But, they were handcrafted tires. 767 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,620 None of your Yokohama bullshit. 768 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,320 This is pure fucking Bridgestone. 769 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,040 Customized tires. 770 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,120 Handcrafted by children. 771 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:36,520 Out in Indonesia. 772 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:37,980 And we have. 773 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,480 They were chiseled. 774 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:43,520 Chiseled non-stop for hours. 775 00:39:44,180 --> 00:39:44,400 And. 776 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,040 You might think that's pretty bad, guys. 777 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,220 But, they actually earn a great wage. 778 00:39:50,340 --> 00:39:51,640 When you think about it. 779 00:39:51,700 --> 00:39:52,320 When it's all. 780 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,040 It all adds up in the end. 781 00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,220 It's all relevant to their economy. 782 00:39:57,180 --> 00:39:57,560 You know. 783 00:39:57,720 --> 00:39:59,440 You do get a lot of Greens. 784 00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:00,300 Saying to you. 785 00:40:00,460 --> 00:40:00,680 You know. 786 00:40:01,460 --> 00:40:04,000 It's not ethical to drive that kind of machine. 787 00:40:04,860 --> 00:40:05,920 That kind of torque. 788 00:40:06,580 --> 00:40:07,000 That kind. 789 00:40:07,180 --> 00:40:08,320 That kind of horsepower. 790 00:40:08,580 --> 00:40:09,420 That kind of HP. 791 00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:11,280 That kind of torque. 792 00:40:12,700 --> 00:40:13,280 You know. 793 00:40:13,340 --> 00:40:14,320 Your carbon footprint. 794 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,180 Is going to be too big. 795 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,080 And I have a friend who's always banging on about that fear crap. 796 00:40:21,260 --> 00:40:21,900 I said to him. 797 00:40:21,940 --> 00:40:22,720 Do you know what, fear? 798 00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,780 Do you want to see my carbon footprint? 799 00:40:26,700 --> 00:40:27,520 Yeah, fear. 800 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:27,660 Fear. 801 00:40:35,340 --> 00:40:37,400 Do you want to see my carbon footprint? 802 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:37,840 Fear. 803 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:45,120 You're fucked. 804 00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:50,720 I just said. 805 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,600 Do you want to see my carbon footprint? 806 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:53,000 Fear. 807 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,440 Unzip the G-Star. 808 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:57,080 Oz. 809 00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:01,720 and just got it out and said it's 810 00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:18,740 just put a bit of yates back on there see if we can get the seems to be coming quite often prince 811 00:41:18,740 --> 00:41:24,420 charlie i know you're right he's come a lot in the last five years he first visited in 2002 this 812 00:41:24,420 --> 00:41:31,380 is his fifth visit since 2015 so he comes here who's this guy and this morning who's this guy on the 813 00:41:31,380 --> 00:41:41,520 radio top absolute ring yates let me just add by the way ivan yates is is quintessentially the 814 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:47,260 greatest gentleman that ever lived i actually would put him he's probably the best yates 815 00:41:47,260 --> 00:41:59,340 ever that ever came out of ireland i don't say that lightly he's up there i mean you can have your 816 00:41:59,340 --> 00:42:05,520 wb interesting and where i'm actually speaking to you from right now you know you can have your 817 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:14,960 fucking jack yates this brother of the painter not as famous as wb still upheld in high regard 818 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:24,160 and um but ivan yates this is a stunning stunning they don't have the they don't have those two yates 819 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:29,840 brothers the artist and the poet don't have the panache or the presentational style that ivan yates 820 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:38,960 has also ivan yates just a bigger man you know he could hold his own he's just he's just a pure alpha 821 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:44,000 he did i mean he did show up eventually he eventually showed up and but we're all scratching our heads 822 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:53,040 where's wb he was a poindexter he was a poet he was good with words he also planted a redwood tree 823 00:42:53,040 --> 00:43:01,520 you know he did that fucking poem on the lockout but i got to meet september 1913 um fumbling in the 824 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:07,600 fumbling in the greasy till guys fumbling in the greasy till 825 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:18,800 but uh yates he wouldn't fumble in a till you know yates he does his talking on the radio 826 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:28,560 and i know for a fact he drives a fucking amg okay 827 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:33,120 cool planet experience is an interactive kind of climate museum but they also have a large 828 00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:37,760 educational awareness component so we have over god from f and thanks so much 829 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:46,960 god from f and thank you so much put this in my xuric account i know control xuric as experts in 830 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:54,560 investing these funds in europe and political destabilization indexes never a true word spoken 831 00:43:54,560 --> 00:44:02,160 gab or that was display name actually you've been the victim of bank fraud keep it together john you've 832 00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:06,800 been the victim of bank fraud so much thank you so much look let's get around this track see if we can 833 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:13,840 get a silver trophy at least it's only meant to be it's drive time it's it's six o'clock guys it's just 834 00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:28,240 gone six o'clock big shout out to jvp there's nothing like a bit of van valkenberg in the afternoon in the evening 835 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:35,360 it's just gone six o'clock guys it's just gone six o'clock and we're driving around the nurberg ring we're 836 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:41,120 at the burg work right now it's one of the it's a wide turn actually narrows as you come out the end of the 837 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:49,760 the fucking thing and it's like say going off the m50 at um at the red cow taking the hard left of the 838 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:57,040 red cow then just heading out to kildare or wherever the fuck you want to go there west me i actually took 839 00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:04,400 a left at the red cow once ended up at weston airport thankfully one of my friends is a pilot there down at 840 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:16,640 weston his name is gab from effin he drives he flies should i say one of the limited edition mercedes s-class 841 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:23,520 lear jets which haven't been invented yet funnily enough he's friends with the guy who works in the 842 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:32,160 jurick broker in geneva who gets free comp passes to the motor show every year and they were at a say 843 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:44,960 they were at a seance together after the geneva show and they were visited by the ghost of mercedes 844 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:52,480 now this is some spook we're getting a bit spooky here guys things are getting things are getting a bit 845 00:45:52,480 --> 00:46:01,040 spooky guys sorry about this trying to hold it together relaying some of the true stories from my life 846 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:11,120 and the ghost the ghost of mercedes came down during the seance they'd all had they were all liquored up 847 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:18,000 on schnapps so i was saying to him at the time are you sure now was this some real ouija part was this some 848 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:28,640 was this was this some real ouija board stuff or were you just stonged on schnapps and uh 849 00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:37,760 he was like no connor look i'm fucking telling you the truth man the ghost of mercedes came down 850 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,360 was hovering above our heads lingering lingering 851 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:56,400 softly speaking to us the dulcet tones of germanic teutonic mercedes broke and it whispered into our ears 852 00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:00,260 S'an Shvinkens f'an Shbunkentooth 853 00:47:00,260 --> 00:47:01,760 *laughs* 854 00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,560 S'an Shbuken... 855 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,160 S'aaah! 856 00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,160 S'an Shbuken... 857 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,160 *laughs* 858 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,660 *dist securities* 859 00:47:10,660 --> 00:47:13,660 When I slither home after a hard day out in the fields, 860 00:47:13,660 --> 00:47:17,560 there's nothing I like more than lashing a few shtickens into the fireplace 861 00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:19,160 and setting fire to them. 862 00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:21,060 Be careful not to burn your hands like I did 863 00:47:21,060 --> 00:47:23,060 while I'm waiting for that baby to get going. 864 00:47:23,060 --> 00:47:24,960 I do a few rolls on the ground 865 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,260 and a few reptilious repetitions. 866 00:47:27,260 --> 00:47:29,260 Just to get the blood flowing. 867 00:47:29,260 --> 00:47:31,260 Once those flames are licking high, 868 00:47:31,260 --> 00:47:33,260 it's time to shtick your coal in it. 869 00:47:33,260 --> 00:47:34,260 *laughs* 870 00:47:34,260 --> 00:47:37,260 Technical Gremlins guys! 871 00:47:37,260 --> 00:47:38,260 *laughs* 872 00:47:38,260 --> 00:47:43,260 Jimmy Jusus, thanks so much. Great to see you in the new Mercedes Jusus. 873 00:47:43,260 --> 00:47:48,260 Shout out to Frankie Schcones, Frankie Schcones, 874 00:47:48,260 --> 00:47:52,260 the Kowloon County Council, safe travels, timing swords, 875 00:47:52,260 --> 00:47:54,260 and his flight back to Kowloon West. 876 00:47:54,260 --> 00:47:56,260 Well that's lovely isn't it? 877 00:47:56,260 --> 00:47:58,260 Really nice to have a cowl in community. 878 00:47:58,260 --> 00:48:00,260 I just spoke to your wife. 879 00:48:00,260 --> 00:48:02,260 *laughs* 880 00:48:02,260 --> 00:48:04,260 You've been the victim of bank fraud. 881 00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:06,260 Rory Daugherty, thanks so much. 882 00:48:06,260 --> 00:48:10,260 I'm really sad to hear that you've been the victim of bank fraud. 883 00:48:10,260 --> 00:48:12,260 *snick* 884 00:48:12,260 --> 00:48:15,260 The news came through earlier on on Snapchat. 885 00:48:15,260 --> 00:48:20,260 Your wife said on Snapchat that you've been the victim of bank fraud, Rory. 886 00:48:20,260 --> 00:48:24,260 You know I'd offer you a bit of schlurr but I raided most of that last night. 887 00:48:24,260 --> 00:48:25,260 Do you know if you blame me though? 888 00:48:25,260 --> 00:48:26,260 The Dutch girl kid. 889 00:48:26,260 --> 00:48:27,260 I'm really really bad. 890 00:48:27,260 --> 00:48:29,260 Thanks so much the Dutch girl kid. 891 00:48:29,260 --> 00:48:33,260 Look, really sorry I've just been having a bit of a breakdown here. 892 00:48:33,260 --> 00:48:48,260 JVV so- thanks so much too man you're a real inspiration. 893 00:48:48,260 --> 00:48:52,260 *laughs* 894 00:48:52,260 --> 00:48:54,260 Look uh... 895 00:48:54,260 --> 00:48:56,260 *laughs* 896 00:48:56,260 --> 00:48:57,260 *laughs* 897 00:48:57,260 --> 00:49:01,260 Trying to just like... 898 00:49:01,260 --> 00:49:10,260 Hold it together here guys because the story about the Spook and Tooth was a real serious... 899 00:49:10,260 --> 00:49:19,640 a really serious a really a really serious watershed watershed 900 00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:26,500 in my friend my friend's life 901 00:49:26,500 --> 00:49:38,060 okay so just let's just rewind the tape guys let's just rewind the tape 902 00:49:38,060 --> 00:49:53,000 geneva motor show 2012 my friend zonat who works out in a zurich brokership out in geneve 903 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:58,100 gets free comps to the fucking zurich so the geneva motor show every year 904 00:49:58,100 --> 00:50:07,440 he met up with a few of the mercedes guys out there they had a case of schnapps 905 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:18,520 they brought it back to the broker for an after sesh one of the head honchos from mercedes 906 00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:27,640 whips out a fucking ouija board whips out a ouija board whips out a fucking ouija board 907 00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:38,720 and fuck i can't do it guys 908 00:50:38,720 --> 00:50:47,800 when i slither home after a hard day out in fields there's nothing i like more than lashing a few schtickings into the fireplace and setting fire to them 909 00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:58,880 be careful not to burn your hands like i did while i'm waiting for that baby to get going i do a few rolls on the ground and a few reptilius repetitions just to get the blood flowing once those flames 910 00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:09,960 you can generate extra draught by using your gooch as a waft now all that's left is to sit back 911 00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:17,040 and warm your sack by the flames this message was brought to you by fire lighters 912 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:29,760 fucking whipped out a ouija board 913 00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:40,240 and right at the moment the thing the fucking yoke started to move around the board 914 00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:41,840 spelling out 915 00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:48,920 m then to e to r to c to e to d to e to s mercedes 916 00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:56,240 the lot of them like this what the fuck are we witnessing here are you moving that 917 00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:58,600 he said no 918 00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:07,240 and then they feel the lights start to flicker and then a fucking ghost came down and it was the ghost of mercedes 919 00:52:07,240 --> 00:52:16,520 and it said in pure germanic teutonic stylish brogue 920 00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,880 fukens on spooking tooth 921 00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,160 ground zero bluthmuth 922 00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:27,040 you'd wanna fucking check it out doof 923 00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:37,680 alright 5 9 6 7 9 mercedes plane class 924 00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:42,220 they're all like what the fuck have we just heard mercedes plane class 925 00:52:42,220 --> 00:52:46,040 so my friend zonad 926 00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:50,320 said look this is just too much to handle 927 00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:55,520 i reckon what that means is we have to go out there and build the spooking tooth 928 00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:57,600 and then mercedes guys are like 929 00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,040 was is das 930 00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:00,960 was is das 931 00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:07,360 and he's like look you may have fucking tried you may have nearly won the world over with your world wars 932 00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:12,800 look you may have you may have nearly fucking taken over the globe twice 933 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:23,760 germany but it's gonna take me a fucking dublin man to set the world straight and take over the skies 934 00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:32,960 in the new mercedes spooking tooth and they're like they were going was is das spooking tooth 935 00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:43,040 please please deutsche bank and he was like look go back to your fucking desks 936 00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:47,120 i'm gonna have back i know a guy at western airport who flies jets 937 00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:56,640 and i also know a guy called connor williams that guy is and you're listening to that guy speak right now guys 938 00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:04,560 so i managed to get the parts together we designed the first ever spooking tooth which is a lear jet 939 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:08,640 with the fucking engine of a benz c-class 940 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:20,640 and um nobody knows it's in a hangar at western at the moment guys it's under lock and key but one of 941 00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:28,240 these days we're gonna take it for a fucking spin it's got it doesn't have bluetooth but it has spooking 942 00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:36,560 tooth which allows you to connect your phone play all your latest hits spotify 943 00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:39,440 and um 944 00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:47,360 yeah it's got a lot of green diesel in it too we're actually gonna fly that thing over to uh 945 00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:56,000 nurburgring and landed on the nord schleife reverse track sunday afternoon closed 946 00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:03,840 zonad has a lot of money in the bank he can he can arrange for the road closure at nurburgring 947 00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:13,200 he actually uh when we were there the last time we were on a fucking lads day out trying to get the gold trove 948 00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:22,720 for zonad stag i don't think i ever told you about zonad stag he was bombing it he was around the nurburgring 949 00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:29,360 nordschleife at dawn and uh one of the guys there behind the counter said look man 950 00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:36,000 you you weren't we didn't give you the the the permission to go out at 4am like you know 951 00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:45,920 and um zonad just grabs the guy behind the desk and he goes listen to me nerdberg ring 952 00:55:47,760 --> 00:56:00,880 do you know who i am i'm zonad and you're nothing man and your man was just like that's that's that's just 953 00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:10,960 get off me oh please and we just took off then went for brunch came back and just drove the track 954 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:20,240 drove the track fast you know zonad the impaler we all know him as a real good guy a real sweet piece 955 00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:30,880 cause celebrate i just put pen to father ted curly thanks so much you're in one stream and i'm out the 956 00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:38,960 next my head's up my arse thanks every everybody for for donating and watching 957 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:55,440 john it's weed you broke rip you're 38 get a grip john you're 38 thanks so much metakitten big shout 958 00:56:55,440 --> 00:57:03,280 out to metakitten we actually uh crafted a metakitten out at the fucking mercedes workshop 959 00:57:04,240 --> 00:57:10,160 there's a mad german scientist out there it's almost six o'clock time to get down to your local mercedes 960 00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:16,720 dealer and ask about test driving the new mercedes it's a bit of a mad thanks so much scott fenner okay 961 00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:27,360 bit of a donation there from scott fenner nice guy thanks very much we actually handcrafted a metakitten 962 00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:33,120 with a german an evil german scientist who went by the name of fat cox mep 963 00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:42,400 bank fraud who's just committed bank fraud just spoke to your wife pat cox she snapchatted into the show 964 00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:51,520 she sent everyone a group chat which said my husband's my husband's bankrupt can anybody help us out we 965 00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:58,560 don't want to dip into the pension you've been the victim of bank fraud box is a cobra toxin thanks so much 966 00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:17,920 you've been the victim of bank fraud you've been the victim of bank fraud you've been the victim of bank fraud 967 00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:25,440 thanks so much for that john's wife 968 00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:34,080 and uh look we're gonna drive one more time and really go for gold go for the gold tro from this 969 00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:41,520 guys i'd offer you a bit of slur but uh i raided jimmy ling a real legend amongst men jimmy ling 970 00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:50,480 known him since he was yay high a real good guy we used to jam it up back in the old days 971 00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:57,760 driving wallace arnold coaches and fitting engines into the latest kitano coaches 972 00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:02,000 big tripod too big shout out for you 973 00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:13,680 watching from cloudy belfast on your iphone is it an iphone 10 hope so great rob great pixels 974 00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:20,560 you know i've got got a great shot of the alps on the iphone it's almost sadly the battery is 975 00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:27,120 lacking to your local mercie days dealer and ask about test driving your new mercie days it's ouija or bus 976 00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:32,960 john thanks so much for that big tripod you want to upgrade to an iphone 10 too 977 00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:40,400 okay the battery life is almost doubled okay i was out for a walkabout around burn the battery died 978 00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:48,720 within two hours of filming get a grip you're 38 pays haze get a grip have you been in to see if you've 979 00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:54,720 been to see anyone about a mortgage yet do you even have it what's the story there you want to just 980 00:59:54,720 --> 01:00:03,040 first like first things first come see me i know zonad he works out the fucking he's a key holder at the zurich 981 01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:08,320 brokership out in doggy we can go there have a few schlurs 982 01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:12,640 fucking set the world we'll set the world to rights over a few schlurs 983 01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:20,960 and we'll set we'll together we'll set you up with a pension that holds up you and your family together 984 01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:28,400 because it's never too early to start a pension fund okay 985 01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:40,000 cause celebraire i just put pen to paper on a new pension deal from zurich cause celebraire frankie 986 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:44,800 scones just put pen to paper on a new pension deal frankie scones 987 01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:53,920 i hope i i'd hate to see you lose everything because you didn't make a pension plan 988 01:00:54,560 --> 01:01:03,920 john get a grip get a grip you're 38 max max darwin and frankie scones 989 01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:11,840 please please please please talk to someone please time to ring out 990 01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,880 i had a friend his name was dave 991 01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:22,960 he didn't fucking plan for the future and 992 01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:33,200 i said when dave have you even thought about what you're doing you're fucking 36 next month 993 01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:39,920 you're going on holiday again where's the money going dave 994 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:46,320 where's the money going you just fucking put you just bought a fucking 151 audi 995 01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:56,640 on your salary do you even have that paid off go on come back to me when you fucking start shaving 996 01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:05,440 and in all fairness he started he was an early developer he started shaving when he was fucking 10 997 01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:13,200 but i mean i was being rhetorical and metaphorical implying that he didn't really have his together you know 998 01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:20,000 look guys i'm boring you and i need to have one more race before we get off let's try and gold trof 999 01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:32,640 this piece of before we leave it's been a blast it's been it's been a real blast 1000 01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:39,680 just while i'm here guys how the volume levels can you hear the the car driving there because i've got 1001 01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:48,160 a fucking a real mishmash of a setup here guys let me tell me let me know if you can hear the car 1002 01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:56,480 driving guys i know you can hear me you're probably sick of hearing me you're probably fucking sick of hearing me 1003 01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:03,600 perfect says carrie thanks so much carrie you're you're a great guy carrie 1004 01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:10,160 hawk hawk hawk hawk hiking we're in the hawk hiking stage here 1005 01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:21,600 real nice driving just tickling the apex really tickling tantalizing that apex just giving the the 1006 01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:28,320 apex i want to give the apex a sniff of the tire as you go around you only want to let the apex smell your 1007 01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:35,120 tire okay as mentioned before these tires were handcrafted by children out in indonesia 1008 01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:41,680 and that's the way we want it because the level of detailing and the fucking time spent you're not 1009 01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:46,800 going to get that in a factory out here in europe you're just not production lines you want to be 1010 01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:55,440 taking the schweiden crews at a real hefty pace drop that down to second as you go into the orenberg and 1011 01:03:55,440 --> 01:04:01,920 fuck it up in the sand you end up like a child playing in the sandpit building sandcastles you 1012 01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:07,520 didn't have you didn't plan for the future you didn't drop it down a second and now you're laughed at 1013 01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:16,000 you're a joke you might as well quit and fucking i won't say the end of that in case anybody clips it 1014 01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:21,680 puts it up out of context and says that i was a threat to mental health 1015 01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:32,880 so let's overtake this clown and his fucking lime green piece of shit i mean i i like all the mercedes 1016 01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:42,480 but i mean it's amg or bust at this stage you're a clown he might as well the doors he might as well be 1017 01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:50,960 driving that thing around a circus watching elephants get abused with rings around their trunks 1018 01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:58,560 the fucking door's falling off lime green who picked the color your wife 1019 01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:08,160 no thanks it's black or blue it's black or blue john 1020 01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:18,560 i got the nickname the stig i was actually i was actually stig for two seasons of top gear 1021 01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:27,520 before they give me the heave ho jerem jezza clarkson came up to me one day and he said listen stig 1022 01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:39,200 you're getting a bit too big for your helmet i said you're you're you know what you are you're a stupid 1023 01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:50,800 irish mick i said you and your top gear and i left and i said jezebel you're a fucking you're a 1024 01:05:50,800 --> 01:06:00,320 fucking tit and that's i got the heave ho and he the the the team accepted jeremy clarkson's racism 1025 01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:09,520 and jeremy clarkson said to me said that i was the i started it first which i did i called him a fat tan 1026 01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:23,520 but i mean still it was in him do you know as my father used to say if it's not in him it won't come 1027 01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:41,760 out and i said to clarkson that day fuck you i'm gonna drive their new mercedes round round town 1028 01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:52,000 so guys we're just gonna move here around this corner which is known as the shoe can shaffer 1029 01:06:53,360 --> 01:07:02,880 you wanna you need to watch out because you don't want to get spooked this this car this this particular 1030 01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:14,800 style streck has bluetooth as standard leather seats leather upholstery a really nice steering wheel 1031 01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:22,560 and here we are at the caracola carousel this is a real famous turn up against a load of fucking 1032 01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:29,920 commercial like what's that an slk some of the c-class or something something like that 1033 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:37,280 go around and really fast and just say look suck my bell 1034 01:07:44,720 --> 01:07:52,480 you know you're doing if you're gonna be doing 150 on the m50 you're driving window goes down suck my bell 1035 01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:58,480 do you know who i am fucking partner at kpmg by the age of 26. 1036 01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:24,820 Driving like a bat out of hell. Going so fast the wheels are gonna come off. What time do the wheels go round? The wheels on the Merc go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the Merc go round and round all day long. 1037 01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:50,640 There is a body in the boot up the town. Right, we drive this corner hard and fast. A lot of people writing on the road. It's putting me off. All the scribbles on the road. They're putting me off, guys. Scribbles on the road, putting me off, guys. And we're not gonna make great time yet again. Snaffled. 1038 01:08:53,640 --> 01:09:06,180 Snaffled the Scheinhorger. Let's just get into the snake now. We're into the German snake. You gotta ride that. Tickle the apex. Just give it a little sniff of your rubber. 1039 01:09:06,180 --> 01:09:10,940 as you go around that little tight shiner 1040 01:09:10,940 --> 01:09:13,280 into the schtickleback. 1041 01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:16,100 Oop, the Lufthansaft. 1042 01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:18,520 Around the fucking Michael Schuhorn. 1043 01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:21,680 And into the 629er. 1044 01:09:22,540 --> 01:09:24,900 And you've got... 1045 01:09:24,900 --> 01:09:28,060 638 on the clock. 1046 01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,400 It's not looking good, guys. 1047 01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,620 It's not going to be a good lap. 1048 01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:34,380 It's going to be a fucking shit lap, man. 1049 01:09:35,020 --> 01:09:36,000 We're fucked. We're fucked. 1050 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:42,020 Into Donnybrook Fair for a Sambo after this. 1051 01:09:42,860 --> 01:09:45,220 Sambo's an okay term over here. 1052 01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:47,460 It's racist in the UK. 1053 01:09:48,320 --> 01:09:50,600 But it's fine in Donnybrook. 1054 01:09:51,060 --> 01:09:55,340 As we hit fourth gear into the Schein Schufer. 1055 01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:58,960 Right up the fucking ghetto Cornetto shaft. 1056 01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:03,140 We're on to the Aaron Brennan Straight. 1057 01:10:03,140 --> 01:10:05,540 The Dottinger Hohner. 1058 01:10:05,540 --> 01:10:11,160 As we go underneath the advertisement for the Audi R8 Supercharge. 1059 01:10:11,560 --> 01:10:13,540 You won't catch me driving one of those. 1060 01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:15,560 Because I'm brand loyal. 1061 01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:17,120 Always have been. 1062 01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:18,000 Always will be. 1063 01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:30,560 Gonna get off after this and go play my glockenspiel for an hour. 1064 01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:33,580 I find it quite relaxing, guys. 1065 01:10:33,580 --> 01:10:37,840 Just to play the glockenspiel in a secluded woodland cabin. 1066 01:10:38,220 --> 01:10:40,860 A secluded woodland cabin, guys. 1067 01:10:41,220 --> 01:10:43,420 Sorry I keep laughing all the time, guys. 1068 01:10:43,500 --> 01:10:44,680 It's actually panic. 1069 01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:46,800 I'm worried for the future. 1070 01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:49,260 And I'm just passing on. 1071 01:10:49,580 --> 01:10:52,180 I'm here to pass on the anxiety to you. 1072 01:10:52,820 --> 01:10:57,080 And hopefully you can feel a little bit better, guys. 1073 01:10:57,080 --> 01:10:59,940 That you're not fucked up like me. 1074 01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:03,080 Okay, got a bit of anxiety, guys. 1075 01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:06,220 Hopefully you're not fucked up like me. 1076 01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:08,160 And there we've bronze. 1077 01:11:08,320 --> 01:11:10,560 It's a bronze troffer again. 1078 01:11:11,380 --> 01:11:12,060 Go on. 1079 01:11:12,820 --> 01:11:14,020 Get the fuck out of here. 1080 01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:14,860 We'll see you later. 1081 01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:16,620 Look, it's been real. 1082 01:11:16,720 --> 01:11:17,380 It's been emotional. 1083 01:11:17,620 --> 01:11:20,220 And hopefully you've had an interesting time. 1084 01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:21,680 Back to your wife. 1085 01:11:21,820 --> 01:11:22,940 Spooking Tooth. 1086 01:11:23,580 --> 01:11:25,600 You've been the victim of bank fraud. 1087 01:11:25,700 --> 01:11:29,760 Spooking Tooth, you've been the victim of bank fraud. 1088 01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:34,980 Your wife has just sent a group chat about you. 1089 01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:37,480 She said that you're not a man anymore. 1090 01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:39,920 And she wants us to take over. 1091 01:11:41,860 --> 01:11:43,840 I've just spoke to your wife. 1092 01:11:45,580 --> 01:11:47,720 You've been the victim of bank fraud. 1093 01:11:50,680 --> 01:11:54,260 I've just spoke to your wife, Mark Monty. 1094 01:11:54,900 --> 01:11:56,400 Who the devil are you? 1095 01:11:56,820 --> 01:11:58,920 Thanks so much, Mark Monty. 1096 01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,280 Look, it's been an interesting day. 1097 01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:04,380 I didn't think I'd fucking make it through. 1098 01:12:04,820 --> 01:12:07,220 We didn't even silver the fucking track. 1099 01:12:07,700 --> 01:12:11,680 As you can see, the best record at the top of your screen is 733-026. 1100 01:12:13,900 --> 01:12:14,920 Sorry about that. 1101 01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:17,600 Let's try and get there again, okay? 1102 01:12:18,260 --> 01:12:21,700 Right now I have to go and get down to my local Zurich broker. 1103 01:12:22,860 --> 01:12:24,540 You should too, chat. 1104 01:12:25,740 --> 01:12:29,040 It's never too early to start a pension fund. 1105 01:12:29,980 --> 01:12:30,700 I'll see you later. 1106 01:12:31,620 --> 01:12:32,240 God bless. 1107 01:12:32,340 --> 01:12:32,860 Take care. 1108 01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:34,020 It's almost... 1109 01:12:34,020 --> 01:12:36,780 It's almost 628. 1110 01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:39,520 See you later. 1111 01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:41,160 God bless. 1112 01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:43,400 Bye-bye. 1113 01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:45,400 Bye.