1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:29,980 Thank you. 2 00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:34,120 That should be a three. 3 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,280 That should be a three, not a two. 4 00:00:37,280 --> 00:01:07,260 Thank you. 5 00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:08,440 A little bit of distortion there. 6 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:38,420 A little bit of distortion there. 7 00:01:38,420 --> 00:02:08,400 A little bit of distortion there. 8 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:38,380 A little bit of distortion there. 9 00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:52,380 Oh, hello, packaxe. 10 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,380 Cox. 11 00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:56,380 Cox. 12 00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:58,380 Cox. 13 00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:00,380 Cox. 14 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,380 Cox. 15 00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:04,380 Cox. 16 00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:06,380 Cox. 17 00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:35,540 Go offline. 18 00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:40,500 I don't know if we need to be online for this scenario here. 19 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:41,680 Thank you very much, Robbie. 20 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:43,860 Brian Coney and Galway Socks. 21 00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:45,900 And Jackie, thank you very much. 22 00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:53,280 Now, a situation here where I need to turn the volume on the headphones down. 23 00:03:53,580 --> 00:03:57,560 And then see if we go text language, English is in subtitles. 24 00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:04,900 Sounds like Batman or something. 25 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:12,360 Captain Sack, thank you very much. 26 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,580 Go online, watch trailer. 27 00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:16,720 I don't even know if we need to watch trailer. 28 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:17,900 Just go straight into... 29 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,040 I don't want to go online either. 30 00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:22,480 Go online for more content. 31 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:23,980 What if we just want to play the game? 32 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,260 I just want to play the game. 33 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:43,880 Fucking hell, that's too loud. 34 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,780 I just want to play the game. 35 00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:46,900 Do you know? 36 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:50,900 Why are they saying you have to go online for this or you have to do this, that and the other? 37 00:04:50,900 --> 00:05:06,440 Do you have to go online for this? 38 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,360 Does anyone know or... 39 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:13,260 You need to be connected to the server. 40 00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:24,120 Thank you very much there. 41 00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:24,720 You're filthy. 42 00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:31,700 But this is a shit situation which has come about after downloading a 75 gigabyte game. 43 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,580 You can't even get onto the fucking server there. 44 00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,220 and it's like, oh, you need to play... 45 00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:39,120 You need to do this, that and the other in order to get the game up and running. 46 00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:48,840 Now what? 47 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,280 I have to fucking download this. 48 00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:07,660 This is just going to end up in a Shafae stream, I'm afraid, because it's fucked. 49 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:10,440 Go offline. 50 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,880 Go online for more content. 51 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:12,860 Why do you have to go online? 52 00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:14,460 I've downloaded the fucking game. 53 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,580 It said Game Pass. 54 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:16,940 Install the game. 55 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:17,600 Game Pass. 56 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:36,840 You can play offline. 57 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:36,940 You can play offline. 58 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,140 There's a load of level packs you need to download. 59 00:06:44,260 --> 00:06:45,100 I've seen that, alright. 60 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,860 I thought, why would you need to download all these extra level packs? 61 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,880 Oh, fucking. 62 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:51,820 How do we get out of this? 63 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:52,480 Get out of this. 64 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:05,140 Right. 65 00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:35,120 Get out of this. 66 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,260 Detailed enough, like. 67 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,840 Can't imagine you're getting everything in 10 megabytes. 68 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,960 Might as well download the rest of these fucking things as well. 69 00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:43,780 Finishing up, ready to start. 70 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,540 You've got a game running. 71 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,400 Download that or stop playing it. 72 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,420 To improve the speed. 73 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,460 Fucking shit, man, man. 74 00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:28,960 Thank you very much there. 75 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,440 You're filthy Captain Sack. 76 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:33,260 Robbie and Brian Coney 101. 77 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:35,560 Work of fiction. 78 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,340 It's a fucking work of fiction so far anyway. 79 00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:40,180 I don't even know if the game exists. 80 00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:45,660 Dubai is the first level if you're bothered about it. 81 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:49,240 But I mean, the first thing they've told me to download is Chang Quing. 82 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,240 So I downloaded Chang Quing. 83 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,960 Sign up for an IOIO account. 84 00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:02,000 Do I have to do this? 85 00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:06,320 Do I have to do this? 86 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:06,320 Do I have to do this? 87 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:06,500 Do I want to do this? 88 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,640 I don't want to do this. 89 00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:10,620 No. 90 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,060 Thank you very much, Liam Rogers. 91 00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:21,500 I want to receive updates. 92 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:21,940 No, I don't. 93 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:22,380 Cancel. 94 00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,820 Continue in offline mode. 95 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:44,340 Go to privacy settings on the game and opt out so you can go offline. 96 00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,020 Privacy settings in the game. 97 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:49,900 Where is that? 98 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:50,980 Is that in the options here? 99 00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:57,440 Opt out. 100 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,440 What? 101 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,440 What? 102 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:04,440 What? 103 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,440 What? 104 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:06,440 What? 105 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:36,420 I'm sorry. 106 00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:43,420 I'm sorry. 107 00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:46,420 Dubai is the first one. 108 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,420 Select all. 109 00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:03,420 Brooklyn, Lukey, thank you very, very much. 110 00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:05,420 Install everything, yeah, yeah, yeah. 111 00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:18,420 Thanks very much, Schult. 112 00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:25,420 Brooklyn, Lukey, remember when you used to boot up a video game and press start game and the game would start? 113 00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:28,420 Yeah, I do remember. 114 00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:31,420 We're a long way away from that now. 115 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,420 We're a long, long way away from that. 116 00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,420 Quit the game. 117 00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:38,420 And we're gonna go add-ons. 118 00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:39,420 And we're gonna go that. 119 00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:41,420 And we're gonna select all. 120 00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:44,420 And we're gonna save those changes. 121 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,420 We're gonna download this fucking shite. 122 00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,420 That's gonna be... 123 00:11:47,420 --> 00:12:08,420 And I had the number two up as well because I thought I was the second stream of the day, but I forgot that there was the special Shafé extreme half past it, 20 past eight stream of the day. 124 00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:10,420 So it should have been a three on there. 125 00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:14,420 And also that would have fit in well with Hitman 3. 126 00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:17,420 So it's been a fucking disaster from the start to finish. 127 00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:23,420 But I'm really looking forward to doing some exotic death moves in this now. 128 00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:31,420 The same way in which Hitman 2 brought us all a real veritable feast of pure fucking death action. 129 00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:38,420 This should really be the icing on the cake for the day that's in it as well, you know? 130 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:50,420 Now if I get into this game and it doesn't start up after doing all this, it's just gonna be a Shafé stream again because there was another episode lined up that I wanted to watch earlier on. 131 00:12:50,420 --> 00:13:00,420 And I'm not gonna waste any time giving out about this fucking game, although you probably will hear a bit of giving out about it if it doesn't start up. 132 00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:03,420 It's just... it's going that way at the moment. 133 00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:09,420 This 101 crack as well. You need to sign up for a 101 pass. 134 00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:19,420 To experience the full richness of Hitman 3, you're required to play on online mode. 135 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:24,420 And I want to fucking play on online mode, but I don't want to go through a questionnaire and a... 136 00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:29,420 Giving email and then fucking getting confirmation emails and... 137 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,420 Where's the fucking story like? Where's the game? 138 00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:48,420 You fucking... 139 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,420 Sign up. 140 00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:08,420 Yeah, Jerry Creaby, thank you very much. 141 00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:10,420 Just sign up. 142 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,420 Just sign up. 143 00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,420 Just sign up. 144 00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:16,420 Just sign up. 145 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,420 Just sign up. 146 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:47,400 Thank you. 147 00:14:47,400 --> 00:15:17,380 Thank you. 148 00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:47,360 Thank you. 149 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:55,360 Thank you. 150 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,360 Thank you. 151 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,420 Thanks very much, sir. 152 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:01,320 Okay, we got in. 153 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:01,960 We logged in. 154 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:07,560 We had to do a fucking login and give information away and give them our email. 155 00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:09,200 Who knows what that's going to lead to? 156 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,220 Probably a deluge. 157 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,440 I'll minimize my head there on the screen. 158 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,980 Maybe put myself over here. 159 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:22,480 Deluge of fucking stupid junk email, digital junk email that I don't want. 160 00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,600 But nevertheless, let's get involved here. 161 00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,700 It's Hitman 3 stories so far. 162 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,480 Get access, it says. 163 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,860 I hope this is not a... 164 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:34,020 Now we have to fucking do another jump through a hoop to get access to this. 165 00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:38,500 Oh, for fuck's sake. 166 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:52,460 Opt in. 167 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:53,740 Now I have to opt in, is it? 168 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,700 Oh my fucking God. 169 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:09,760 I'll go back over here. 170 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:38,060 you're too 171 00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,260 show fucking 172 00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:42,820 is it Marrakesh 173 00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,320 or just play this Marrakesh one 174 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,920 that's uh 175 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,200 time limited it says 176 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,000 Dubai 177 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,440 oh thank you fuck 178 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,080 please be this 179 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,100 please please work 180 00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,760 what's the get access about 181 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:35,320 is it sir? 182 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,580 this is a side mission 183 00:18:37,580 --> 00:18:55,980 I'm getting rid of this fucking Xbox 184 00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:57,680 it's a waste of time 185 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,520 the only reason I got it was because I was too scared to buy a graphics card 186 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:05,520 because one I'd have to buy a graphics card and then install it when it gets here 187 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,020 and two you'd have to pay duty on that 188 00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,780 and three I don't know if it would still 189 00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:11,480 if it'd be able to stream the game 190 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,280 as well as play the game 191 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,200 but I'm just gonna do that 192 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,120 I'm gonna sell this fucking 193 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:19,960 I'm gonna trade it back in and then I'm gonna trade it back in and GameStop and get credit 194 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:25,660 well then if you can't do that because they don't give you money if you get credit you get more credit then I don't know 195 00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:33,820 sickening this is sickening they say you've got a game pass i'm paying for the game pass 196 00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:38,180 i've installed the game and you can't even play the fucking game it's telling you to go to the 197 00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:45,040 microsoft store and then what you go to microsoft store and then you have to buy the game then is it 198 00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:55,340 now it's telling you you have to buy the game 199 00:19:55,340 --> 00:20:03,900 campaigns prologue hitman hitman 2 hitman 3 side missions 200 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:08,580 i've played 201 00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:15,300 you can't even play any of the hitman games 202 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,780 they're assholes man they're fucking assholes 203 00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:32,980 the whole xbox experience so far has been shite i remember the call of duty game was shite 204 00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:39,260 because it kept crashing on the on the launch on the campaign mode because i wasn't even connected 205 00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:39,860 to the internet 206 00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:46,300 it's a fuck up i was looking forward to a bit of killing the stream 207 00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:58,820 hitman 3 first mission i clicked on it doesn't work 208 00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:11,340 and uh thanks for the tip there hitman access phone but it's not about that the i don't want 209 00:21:11,340 --> 00:21:19,100 i didn't want to fucking buy the game i want i bought the game pass so i'm paying the the whatever it is a 210 00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:25,020 month to get access to the games so then i get the game it says install it so i've installed it and then 211 00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:35,220 it says you can't play it you're gonna have to buy this once again this newfangled uh digital online 212 00:21:35,220 --> 00:21:41,480 marketplace of the way they do business nowadays with these games is absolutely sickening and once 213 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:51,940 again this stream which is meant to be a gaming session will be saved by a man who was presenting 214 00:21:51,940 --> 00:21:58,620 a program in back in 1998 or 2000 i haven't decided on what episode yet but we're gonna do 215 00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:03,240 that and it's gonna be a nice episode and it'll put these guys to shame because we'll end up seeing 216 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:10,120 technology that was worth something even though it looks shit now and we laugh at it how crap it is 217 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:15,840 and how bulky and clunky it is it did the job it was meant to do when it was meant to do it 218 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:20,740 this doesn't do any job at all it teases you it lures you in with this that and the other and it 219 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:29,180 gives you fuck all have a look 220 00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:35,760 one second there now 221 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:36,260 you 222 00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:36,760 you 223 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:36,760 you 224 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:37,260 you 225 00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:37,260 you 226 00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:37,760 you 227 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:37,760 you 228 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,260 you 229 00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:38,260 you 230 00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:38,260 you 231 00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:38,760 you 232 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:38,760 you 233 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:38,760 you 234 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:38,760 you 235 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:38,760 you 236 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:38,760 you 237 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:39,260 you 238 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 239 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 240 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 241 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 242 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 243 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 244 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 245 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 246 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,260 you 247 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:39,760 you 248 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:39,760 you 249 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:39,760 you 250 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:39,760 you 251 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:39,760 you 252 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:39,760 you 253 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:39,760 you 254 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:39,760 you 255 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:40,260 you 256 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:40,260 you 257 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:40,260 you 258 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:40,260 you 259 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:40,260 you 260 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:40,260 you 261 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:40,260 you 262 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:40,260 you 263 00:22:40,260 --> 00:22:40,760 you 264 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 265 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 266 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 267 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 268 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 269 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 270 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 271 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 272 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,760 you 273 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:41,260 you 274 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:41,260 you 275 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:41,260 you 276 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:41,260 you 277 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:41,260 you 278 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:41,260 you 279 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:41,260 you 280 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:41,760 you 281 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 282 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 283 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 284 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 285 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 286 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 287 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 288 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 289 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:41,760 you 290 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,260 you 291 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:42,260 you 292 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:42,260 you 293 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:42,260 you 294 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:42,260 you 295 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:42,260 you 296 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:42,760 you 297 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:42,760 you 298 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:43,260 you 299 00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:43,260 you 300 00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:43,760 you 301 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:43,760 you 302 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:44,260 you 303 00:22:44,260 --> 00:22:44,260 you 304 00:22:44,260 --> 00:22:44,760 you 305 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:44,760 you 306 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:45,260 you 307 00:22:45,260 --> 00:22:45,260 you 308 00:22:45,260 --> 00:22:45,760 you 309 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:45,760 you 310 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,260 you 311 00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:46,260 you 312 00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:46,760 you 313 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:46,760 you 314 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:47,260 you 315 00:22:47,260 --> 00:22:47,260 you 316 00:22:47,260 --> 00:22:47,760 you 317 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:47,760 you 318 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:48,260 you 319 00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:48,260 you 320 00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:48,760 you 321 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:48,760 you 322 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:49,260 you 323 00:22:49,260 --> 00:22:49,260 you 324 00:22:49,260 --> 00:22:49,760 you 325 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:49,760 you 326 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:50,260 you 327 00:22:50,260 --> 00:22:50,260 you 328 00:22:50,260 --> 00:22:50,760 you 329 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:50,760 you 330 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:51,260 you 331 00:22:51,260 --> 00:22:51,260 you 332 00:22:51,260 --> 00:22:51,760 you 333 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:51,760 you 334 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:52,260 you 335 00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:52,260 you 336 00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:52,760 you 337 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:52,760 you 338 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:53,260 you 339 00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:53,260 you 340 00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:53,760 you 341 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:53,760 you 342 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,260 you 343 00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:54,260 you 344 00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:54,760 you 345 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:54,760 you 346 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:55,260 you 347 00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:55,260 you 348 00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:55,760 you 349 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:55,760 you 350 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:56,260 you 351 00:22:56,260 --> 00:22:56,260 you 352 00:22:56,260 --> 00:22:56,760 you 353 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:56,760 you 354 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:57,260 you 355 00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:57,260 you 356 00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:57,760 you 357 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:57,760 you 358 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:58,260 you 359 00:22:58,260 --> 00:22:58,260 you 360 00:22:58,260 --> 00:22:58,760 you 361 00:22:58,760 --> 00:22:58,760 you 362 00:22:58,760 --> 00:22:59,260 you 363 00:22:59,260 --> 00:22:59,260 you 364 00:22:59,260 --> 00:22:59,760 you 365 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:00,260 you 366 00:23:00,260 --> 00:23:00,760 you 367 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,260 you 368 00:23:01,260 --> 00:23:01,760 you 369 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,260 you 370 00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:02,760 you 371 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:03,260 you 372 00:23:03,260 --> 00:23:03,760 you 373 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:04,260 you 374 00:23:04,260 --> 00:23:04,760 you 375 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,260 you 376 00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:05,760 you 377 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,260 you 378 00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:06,760 you 379 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:07,260 you 380 00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:07,760 you 381 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:08,260 you 382 00:23:08,260 --> 00:23:08,760 you 383 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:09,260 you 384 00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:09,760 you 385 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:10,260 you 386 00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:10,760 you 387 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:11,260 you 388 00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:11,760 you 389 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:12,260 you 390 00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:12,760 you 391 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:13,260 you 392 00:23:13,260 --> 00:23:13,760 you 393 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:14,260 you 394 00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:14,760 you 395 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:15,260 you 396 00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:15,760 you 397 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:16,260 you 398 00:23:16,260 --> 00:23:16,760 you 399 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:17,260 you 400 00:23:17,260 --> 00:23:17,760 you 401 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:18,260 you 402 00:23:18,260 --> 00:23:18,760 you 403 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:19,260 you 404 00:23:19,260 --> 00:23:19,760 you 405 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:20,260 you 406 00:23:20,260 --> 00:23:20,760 you 407 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:21,260 you 408 00:23:21,260 --> 00:23:21,760 you 409 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:22,260 you 410 00:23:22,260 --> 00:23:22,760 you 411 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:23,260 you 412 00:23:23,260 --> 00:23:23,760 you 413 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:24,260 you 414 00:23:24,260 --> 00:23:24,760 you 415 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:25,260 you 416 00:23:25,260 --> 00:23:25,760 you 417 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,260 you 418 00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:26,760 you 419 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:27,260 you 420 00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:27,760 you 421 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,260 you 422 00:23:28,260 --> 00:23:28,760 you 423 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:29,260 you 424 00:23:29,260 --> 00:23:29,760 you 425 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:30,260 you 426 00:23:30,260 --> 00:23:30,760 you 427 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:31,260 you 428 00:23:31,260 --> 00:23:31,760 you 429 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:32,260 you 430 00:23:32,260 --> 00:23:32,760 you 431 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:33,260 you 432 00:23:33,260 --> 00:23:33,760 you 433 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:34,260 you 434 00:23:34,260 --> 00:23:34,760 you 435 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:35,260 you 436 00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:35,760 you 437 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:36,260 you 438 00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:36,760 you 439 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:37,260 you 440 00:23:37,260 --> 00:23:37,760 you 441 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:38,260 you 442 00:23:38,260 --> 00:23:38,760 you 443 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:39,260 you 444 00:23:39,260 --> 00:23:39,760 you 445 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:40,260 you 446 00:23:40,260 --> 00:23:40,760 you 447 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:41,260 you 448 00:23:41,260 --> 00:23:41,760 you 449 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:42,260 you 450 00:23:42,260 --> 00:23:42,760 you 451 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:43,260 you 452 00:23:43,260 --> 00:23:43,760 you 453 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:44,260 you 454 00:23:44,260 --> 00:23:44,760 you 455 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:45,260 you 456 00:23:45,260 --> 00:23:45,760 you 457 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:46,260 you 458 00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:46,760 you 459 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:47,260 you 460 00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:47,760 you 461 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,260 you 462 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:48,760 you 463 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,260 you 464 00:23:49,260 --> 00:23:49,760 you 465 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,260 you 466 00:23:50,260 --> 00:23:50,760 you 467 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:51,260 you 468 00:23:51,260 --> 00:23:51,760 you 469 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:52,260 you 470 00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:52,260 you 471 00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:52,760 you 472 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:53,260 you 473 00:23:53,260 --> 00:23:53,260 you 474 00:23:53,260 --> 00:24:23,240 so then I just got a link 475 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,160 you're on my microphone there Francis 476 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,960 yeah then I just got a link sent to me in the chat there 477 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,200 thank you very much for the tip by the way uh Captain Zach 478 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:38,200 and it's a a Reddit post about I just downloaded Hitman Trilogy on Games Pass 479 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:44,520 but it asked me to pay for the campaigns. I don't understand how this works. Few comments. 480 00:24:45,140 --> 00:24:50,240 Was this ever fixed or have you figured it out? I had the same problem six months ago. I had the 481 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:55,340 same problem but I was able to fix it today. So this is exactly what I did to solve the problem. 482 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:02,100 Fully close game. Make sure it's not in quick resume. Go to manage game and add on section. 483 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:09,760 Get to the save data section. Press delete all. Then get back to manage game and add on section and enter 484 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,880 the section that shows the game and its add-ons. Delete all the add-ons. You don't have to delete 485 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:20,680 the main game. Then install the add-ons again. This process solved the problem for me last night. 486 00:25:21,060 --> 00:25:28,160 No, not doing it. Fuck off. You've wasted my life, Hitman. You've wasted my life. 487 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:35,260 And that's hyperbolic. You haven't wasted my life but you have wasted a good solid 10 minutes 488 00:25:35,260 --> 00:25:37,880 and 10 minutes of people who've tuned in for Hitman. 489 00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:41,220 Tom. 490 00:25:41,780 --> 00:25:46,880 Yeah, it's a bit much to be saying they've wasted your life, you know. It's just a fucking game, man. 491 00:25:47,460 --> 00:25:53,080 But at the same time, what the fuck were they playing at? You downloaded the Hitman thumbnail 492 00:25:53,080 --> 00:26:00,580 to put up as your thumbnail image for this stream. It's gone down the fucking pan. It's a waste of time. 493 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,380 Absolute waste of time. 494 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,460 Get a bit of Shafé going. 495 00:26:10,420 --> 00:26:17,640 Just, it really takes the piss, the biscuit and everything else in between. 496 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:18,940 Pure scum. 497 00:26:20,020 --> 00:26:22,280 I'm willing to go out on a limb and say, pure scum. 498 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:27,660 Right, okay. We'll put that there now. 499 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:34,300 And we go into our YouTube and have a little look here at the Shafé scenario, which we've got going on. 500 00:26:36,300 --> 00:26:37,500 Computer Chronicles. 501 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,040 Chronicles. 502 00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:48,160 I think we have Chronicles here. 503 00:26:53,840 --> 00:27:00,060 HTML. That's where we was earlier on, but there was a new internet creating your own website in 2001. 504 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,520 Hope to fuck we haven't seen this. 505 00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:04,000 We haven't seen it. 506 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,920 If we haven't seen it, then it's going to be an absolute shit blast. 507 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:27,700 That's not on there. 508 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,000 The wrong fucking tune. 509 00:27:33,340 --> 00:27:36,220 It's actually a nice ambient tune for this. 510 00:27:37,460 --> 00:27:38,440 Computer Chronicles. 511 00:27:39,020 --> 00:27:39,900 It doesn't do it though. 512 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,720 You need the hyperblast of Shafé. 513 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:46,260 The flash. 514 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:53,400 I just want to get into the mood here for a second. 515 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:07,200 What your body? 516 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,880 What your body? 517 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:20,800 What your body? 518 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:29,840 Sarupu! Sarupu! Sarupu! Sarupu! Sarupu! Sarupu! 519 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:50,720 So just give it one more. It wasn't enough for me there. I'm just trying to build up a bit of momentum here. 520 00:28:50,720 --> 00:29:01,140 . 521 00:29:01,140 --> 00:29:04,640 . 522 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:09,040 . 523 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:14,000 . 524 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:19,000 . 525 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,080 . 526 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:20,680 . 527 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:50,660 . 528 00:29:50,660 --> 00:29:57,660 . 529 00:29:57,660 --> 00:30:01,660 . 530 00:30:01,660 --> 00:30:02,660 . 531 00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:10,660 . 532 00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:15,600 This week on the Computer Chronicles, how to design a great website. 533 00:30:15,940 --> 00:30:19,480 We'll show you how to use Macromedia Flash to jazz up your website. 534 00:30:19,940 --> 00:30:21,700 Jazz up your website. 535 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,500 You'll meet an expert on JavaScript who will show us how to... 536 00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,620 Look at this guy. 537 00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:30,660 He looks like he's been fucking green screened in. 538 00:30:30,780 --> 00:30:31,860 That isn't a green screen. 539 00:30:31,980 --> 00:30:33,800 It's a real studio setup. 540 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,980 Why is he wobbling like that on the side? 541 00:30:35,980 --> 00:30:37,820 Add smarts to your website. 542 00:30:38,220 --> 00:30:39,480 And we'll meet a man who has been... 543 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,100 Whoa, it's a sensual piece of pudding. 544 00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:47,540 This side of Christmas, baby. 545 00:30:47,740 --> 00:30:50,440 A sensual side of pudding. 546 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:55,640 It's got the side burn and a lovely little wisp of hair. 547 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,300 ...called the guru of website usability, Jacob... 548 00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:01,420 Whoa, he's fucking pounding his palm. 549 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,860 Thank you very much there, Sam, for the tip there. 550 00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:08,100 It's very kind of your Sam with the tip there. 551 00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:08,980 Nielsen. 552 00:31:09,260 --> 00:31:10,420 How to design... 553 00:31:10,420 --> 00:31:14,300 Sorry, I just need to, yeah, pop that out there so I can see that. 554 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,840 And then pop that out there as well so I can see that. 555 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,720 So, Harry Johnson, thank you very much. 556 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,240 Hitman, Shafi Aldi. 557 00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:22,200 Maud Gunn, thank you very much. 558 00:31:22,260 --> 00:31:25,040 Maud Gunn, Narubu San, Scumbelina, Jerry Creepy. 559 00:31:25,580 --> 00:31:26,100 Schulte. 560 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,660 And Brooklyn, Lukey, thank you very much there. 561 00:31:29,740 --> 00:31:31,060 Captain Sack and Sam. 562 00:31:31,260 --> 00:31:33,060 Thank you very much, Sam. 563 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,900 I'm Sam from Stu's hometown of Philadelphia. 564 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:37,600 I didn't know Shafi was from Philadelphia. 565 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:38,340 That's great stuff. 566 00:31:39,260 --> 00:31:41,720 And the Shafi domain is available for purchase. 567 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,200 Whoever would want that, I'm not sure. 568 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,620 Coming up next on the Computer Chronicles. 569 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,840 You don't tend to think about the hip-hop culture. 570 00:31:51,060 --> 00:31:51,600 Fat 32. 571 00:31:52,060 --> 00:31:54,240 All about rap music and the hip-hop scene. 572 00:31:54,340 --> 00:31:54,960 Fat 32. 573 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:55,800 Listen. 574 00:31:55,940 --> 00:31:57,120 I don't travel in those circles. 575 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:58,380 I don't get to talk to those guys. 576 00:31:58,480 --> 00:31:58,780 Those guys. 577 00:31:58,940 --> 00:31:59,500 Fat 32. 578 00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:01,680 But I did get to talk to them in this chat room. 579 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:02,300 Fat 32. 580 00:32:02,540 --> 00:32:03,920 Hip-hop chat room I went into. 581 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,740 I don't know a lot about the hip-hop scene, but... 582 00:32:06,740 --> 00:32:07,280 Fat 32. 583 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:07,820 You really are. 584 00:32:07,980 --> 00:32:08,500 I do now. 585 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:10,620 I don't travel in those circles. 586 00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:11,860 I don't get to talk to those guys. 587 00:32:11,980 --> 00:32:12,580 Fat 32. 588 00:32:12,980 --> 00:32:15,300 Man, I learned a lot about what really goes on in that world. 589 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:17,240 Fat 32. 590 00:32:20,180 --> 00:32:20,980 Fat 32. 591 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:21,540 Twisted. 592 00:32:23,940 --> 00:32:24,700 Fat 32. 593 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:25,320 Twisted. 594 00:32:25,660 --> 00:32:26,060 Twisted. 595 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,200 Dispatches unwraps the story behind... 596 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,300 People getting undressed, you know, going to the bathroom. 597 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:34,800 Twisted. 598 00:32:34,980 --> 00:32:37,080 Dispatches investigates Monday at 8 on 4. 599 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:41,420 We might see a bit of her later on as well if we can find a decent fucking resolution episode. 600 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,280 Dispatches undercover investigation. 601 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,520 Maybe a bit of this, that as well. 602 00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:47,520 We've got some deep lore backstory from... 603 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,760 Let's keep on going! 604 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,120 We've got some... 605 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,520 ...migration service from PC first. 606 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,020 Some Oscar Schindler backstory deep lore. 607 00:32:56,020 --> 00:32:59,480 Files, applications and preferences from your old computer to your new one. 608 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,680 Additional support is provided by Upside Events. 609 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:03,640 Fishing link. 610 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,260 Presenting the Digital Lifestyle Revolution conference. 611 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,240 But I don't... 612 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:11,420 I'm not accusing anyone of trying to fish me out of it, but I mean... 613 00:33:11,420 --> 00:33:13,260 I just need to... 614 00:33:13,260 --> 00:33:14,580 I need to be careful. 615 00:33:15,540 --> 00:33:16,820 Because I'm not being careful. 616 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,520 There's links coming at me left, right and centre and I'm clicking them. 617 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,220 And I need to just fucking make sure I'm clicking the right thing. 618 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,060 Look at the fucking power of this guy. 619 00:33:24,140 --> 00:33:41,800 What's that he's got on his belt? 620 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:51,480 Look, has he got a Nokia phone in a little fucking leather satchel with a PVC kind of transparent PVC front? 621 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,240 You can let you push the buttons. 622 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:55,300 Is that what he's got? 623 00:33:55,340 --> 00:33:56,160 Is that what he's rocking? 624 00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,880 Have a look at that. 625 00:34:00,140 --> 00:34:01,380 It's a radio mic. 626 00:34:01,380 --> 00:34:01,960 It's massive. 627 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:06,340 Hi and... 628 00:34:06,340 --> 00:34:07,340 Thank you very much. 629 00:34:08,100 --> 00:34:09,400 Hi, I'm Stuart Shiffey. 630 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:10,960 Mean Street Posse. 631 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:11,800 Thank you very much. 632 00:34:11,860 --> 00:34:12,700 And Higgy Smalls. 633 00:34:12,740 --> 00:34:13,260 Welcome to the... 634 00:34:13,260 --> 00:34:14,760 Never mind Agent 47. 635 00:34:15,380 --> 00:34:18,180 Now we get to see Agent Fat 32 at work. 636 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:19,020 I love it. 637 00:34:19,020 --> 00:34:19,640 Computer Chronicles. 638 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:20,820 I'm Stuart Shiffey. 639 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,020 And Tato the dog. 640 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:22,500 Thank you. 641 00:34:24,260 --> 00:34:24,940 Creating design. 642 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,480 Can you give my dog Tato a shout out? 643 00:34:27,780 --> 00:34:28,800 Tato, how are you getting on? 644 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:29,800 I hope you're doing well. 645 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,100 You sweet, sweet, sweet dream. 646 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,840 Dining and building a website is still a difficult hurdle to overcome there. 647 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:37,080 Hurdle. 648 00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:38,740 Will this morning's first stream come online? 649 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:39,480 It's online now. 650 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:40,340 Go and check it out. 651 00:34:40,340 --> 00:34:43,900 There are some simple online tools for creating basic personal websites, 652 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:48,420 but the intricacies of creating a really cool website are still a mystery to many people. 653 00:34:48,940 --> 00:34:53,820 We were only looking at him talking about cool websites earlier on. 654 00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:56,660 That was two years prior to this episode. 655 00:34:56,780 --> 00:34:57,960 I was 98 with three years. 656 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:04,560 But the intricacies of creating a really cool website are still a mystery to many people. 657 00:35:04,820 --> 00:35:08,420 Things like adding Flash, Java applets, optimizing your user interface, 658 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:10,220 making sure your site loads fast. 659 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:14,360 These are the things we'll look at today as we show you how to build a killer website. 660 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,240 There actually is a new online web creation site that is... 661 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:19,440 You're not a killer, are you? 662 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:20,060 No, I'm not. 663 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:20,740 Very powerful. 664 00:35:20,860 --> 00:35:22,340 It's called moonfruit.com. 665 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:26,300 And here to tell us about it is Norman Meyerowitz, president of Macromedia Ventures. 666 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:26,700 Hi, Norm. 667 00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:27,220 Hey, Stuart. 668 00:35:27,460 --> 00:35:31,740 Macromedia, you guys are known for Flash, of course, which is one of the coolest things we see on a website. 669 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:32,940 Flash topics. 670 00:35:33,380 --> 00:35:37,320 For people who may not know exactly what Flash is, give us a couple examples of Flash as we see it on the web right now. 671 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:37,940 Okay, great. 672 00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:39,840 Well, people use Macromedia Dreaming for creating... 673 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,520 And we have Norm Meyerowitz here. 674 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:42,260 He's not... 675 00:35:42,260 --> 00:35:45,060 We're only seeing a side profile of Meyerowitz. 676 00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:46,960 Hopefully we get to see the full situation. 677 00:35:47,060 --> 00:35:50,760 Websites, and they use Flash for creating rich media in the websites. 678 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,000 People know it a lot these days because of entertainment. 679 00:35:54,180 --> 00:35:58,260 Here's an example of The Critic, which used to be on TV, but now is exclusively in Flash. 680 00:35:58,260 --> 00:36:00,020 So a lot of the animations... 681 00:36:00,020 --> 00:36:09,380 This could be pre-9-11 or it could be after 9-11, but they haven't bothered to fucking get rid of the twin towers in this little opening bit. 682 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:15,000 Thanks very much there, Norm and my dad and Mean Street and Tato. 683 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:22,380 We have a couple of fucking two towers there, and we know what happened to those guys as well. 684 00:36:22,420 --> 00:36:23,700 It was a bad situation. 685 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,800 And, yeah, look, it was just a bad situation. 686 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,220 We don't need to go down that fucking road again. 687 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:34,140 But do we? 688 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,380 Because it was a crazy day. 689 00:36:37,940 --> 00:36:41,160 And a lot of footage is being filmed about that day. 690 00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:46,440 And maybe, just maybe, we might watch some of that footage. 691 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,020 I mean, that's not fucking... 692 00:36:48,020 --> 00:36:49,560 That's not for the faint of heart. 693 00:36:50,420 --> 00:36:50,780 Okay? 694 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,500 But anyway, let's just go into this. 695 00:36:53,140 --> 00:36:56,520 ...of The Critic, which used to be on TV, but now is exclusively in Flash. 696 00:36:57,340 --> 00:37:03,500 A lot of the animation stuff, which, of course, is a little easier to do on the web with Flash, is using your guys' technology to watch TV on the web. 697 00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:03,960 Right. 698 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:04,880 Right. Production values are TV. 699 00:37:05,060 --> 00:37:12,400 There's still a lot of questions unanswered about that day. 700 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:12,680 Who's to say... 701 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:21,060 That we still haven't looked at the footage in the way that we should have looked at it. 702 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:30,680 And who's to say, if they found the passport intact of one of those crazy bastards that did the fucking dirty work... 703 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:38,600 Who's to say we won't find something of note or interest from looking back? 704 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:49,180 Especially that footage, the most recent one that was released, of the new footage of the fucking South Tower from the Holiday Makers on a boat down at Battery Park. 705 00:37:50,180 --> 00:37:50,340 Anyway. 706 00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,200 TV, but it runs over low bandwidth. 707 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:52,380 Yeah. 708 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:52,740 And modems. 709 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,000 All right, so we're familiar with sort of the entertainment type... 710 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,240 9mm Jill, thank you very much. 711 00:37:56,340 --> 00:37:58,040 Let's talk about some commercial applications. 712 00:37:58,180 --> 00:38:01,520 People are, in fact, using Flash increasingly in the advertising arena, right? 713 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:02,880 To make ads more interesting on the web. 714 00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:05,680 Right, Coca-Cola uses it for branding. 715 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,320 Get the vid of them telling Bush it went down. 716 00:38:09,140 --> 00:38:11,600 And maybe do like a Shafay edit on it. 717 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,680 And, sir, another episode of Computer Chronicles is just being streamed. 718 00:38:17,260 --> 00:38:20,960 Or another Computer Chronicles just hit the internet. 719 00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:23,920 Another episode of Computer Chronicles just got launched. 720 00:38:24,140 --> 00:38:25,680 For example, this is what people are doing. 721 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,440 So you can really get the... 722 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:31,000 Imagine if he was watching Computer Chronicles at the time. 723 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,840 And all the footage of him getting told was that. 724 00:38:36,180 --> 00:38:40,660 And, like, instead of him continuing to read My Pet Goat to an elementary school, 725 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,680 he just watched Stu's Pick of the Week. 726 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:45,420 Frozen. 727 00:38:46,020 --> 00:38:47,000 Not knowing what to do. 728 00:38:47,660 --> 00:38:49,440 And to make it extra fucking fucked up, 729 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,820 Stu's Pick of the Week was like a Microsoft or Flight Simulator game. 730 00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:55,800 It's like, uh... 731 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,740 Now, my pick of the week, 732 00:38:58,100 --> 00:39:00,480 a brand new Flight Simulator game, 733 00:39:00,780 --> 00:39:02,560 which takes the mantle, 734 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,220 takes on the mantle from Microsoft's Flight Simulator, 735 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,440 and turns it on its head, 736 00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:13,880 where you control a jet airliner console desk. 737 00:39:13,940 --> 00:39:14,360 Grand across. 738 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:15,420 So you go to the Coke Home page, 739 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,760 a little more exciting stuff is happening. 740 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,320 It's a far out concept. 741 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,280 Look at this blatant Coca-Cola advertising. 742 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:22,460 Don't drink that shite. 743 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,700 And then people are also using it. 744 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,160 CNET, for example, and ZDNet are using this 745 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:31,160 for creating rich media examples inside of their webpage. 746 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,800 Here's an example of Oracle's ad where you can have that... 747 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,660 You want to scroll that up so we can see the rest of it? 748 00:39:36,660 --> 00:39:37,540 Sure, you can have that. 749 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,000 So this is the new version of the ad banner. 750 00:39:40,060 --> 00:39:42,260 So the boring ad banner, click it and leave the site, 751 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,800 actually watch a moving ad inside the site. 752 00:39:44,820 --> 00:39:47,380 Moving ad, and now I can find out about Oracle 9i, 753 00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,360 right like that, without having to... 754 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,040 So it's a living window inside that page. 755 00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:52,560 Living window, I don't leave the site. 756 00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:55,180 Quasi-quartang conspiracy. 757 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,020 Quasi-quartang conspiracy. 758 00:39:58,700 --> 00:40:02,940 Sir, a second quasi-quartang has hit the World Trade Center. 759 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,920 Sir, a second robot has entered 760 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,540 the elementary school in Florida. 761 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,720 So the advertiser is pleased and the site owner is pleased. 762 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:12,080 Okay. 763 00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:14,200 Now you have another interesting example, 764 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,600 a little more subtle use of Flash inside an online bank. 765 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:23,040 If I look at that online bank, 766 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,060 one of the things that Flash is being used... 767 00:40:25,060 --> 00:40:28,940 Online banking was hyped at this stage 768 00:40:28,940 --> 00:40:30,520 of the internet game 2001. 769 00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:34,420 But as we all know, the internet was dominated by pornography 770 00:40:34,420 --> 00:40:37,940 and it was more likely to be online wanking 771 00:40:37,940 --> 00:40:44,120 that was going on instead of online banking. 772 00:40:47,620 --> 00:40:49,440 more and more for is applications. 773 00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:51,980 There are 300 million people out there that can actually view Flash, 774 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,140 96% of the web. 775 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:53,580 Wow. 776 00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,800 And Flash allows you to create seamless experiences. 777 00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:57,760 Instead of the browser refreshing all the time 778 00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,440 where you have this break in the experience, 779 00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:00,500 you can create an immersive experience. 780 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:00,620 All right. 781 00:41:00,620 --> 00:41:02,180 So how are you using Flash on this website? 782 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:06,660 Well, here's a bank and I'm going to launch this bank. 783 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,640 And imagine this is an ATM, 784 00:41:08,860 --> 00:41:12,520 but you can actually operate through it. 785 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:14,880 And there's a voice that's actually telling you how to operate. 786 00:41:15,220 --> 00:41:17,600 I can actually transfer funds and I can do it. 787 00:41:17,660 --> 00:41:19,000 This doesn't look like a website. 788 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,420 This looks like an ATM with voice and stuff. 789 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:24,620 So again, the idea is you're getting out of that old page metaphor. 790 00:41:24,620 --> 00:41:24,960 Thank you very much. 791 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:25,980 Leave this to go here. 792 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:27,000 Leave that to go here. 793 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:29,540 Stay in the bank, the virtual bank, if you will, 794 00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,200 and do different things in that environment. 795 00:41:31,220 --> 00:41:32,960 Exactly. You build that using the Flash authoring tool. 796 00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:36,900 All right. Now show us another example of how you would create. 797 00:41:36,900 --> 00:41:37,780 Flash authoring tool. 798 00:41:38,020 --> 00:41:40,840 ... things or entertainment things using the traditional Flash tools. 799 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,540 Well, this is something that Business 2.0 used 800 00:41:43,540 --> 00:41:45,720 to actually explain the difference between the PC world 801 00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:46,920 and the wireless world. 802 00:41:47,260 --> 00:41:48,540 And this is where you do storytelling, 803 00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:50,000 which you normally wouldn't do on a web page. 804 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:50,100 Sure. 805 00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:53,440 Use audio. You use animation. 806 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,760 Now briefly show us using the traditional sort of software tool. 807 00:41:57,260 --> 00:42:01,480 Lovely, Stu, just overriding the fellas' comments about, 808 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,220 we got some nice audio here. 809 00:42:03,700 --> 00:42:05,940 And Stu's like, yeah, all right, what else? 810 00:42:07,020 --> 00:42:08,540 The audio was rubbish. 811 00:42:08,660 --> 00:42:09,800 MIDI file stuff as well. 812 00:42:09,900 --> 00:42:11,260 D. Caffrey, thank you very much, Schlug. 813 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,300 Thank you very much, Christmas. 814 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,000 Thank you very much. 815 00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:14,840 And this is where you do storytelling, 816 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,360 which you normally wouldn't do on a web page. 817 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:16,460 Sure. 818 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,500 Use audio. You use animation. 819 00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:21,120 All right. Now briefly show us using... 820 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,300 All right. All right. Yeah. 821 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:22,960 Whatever the fuck. 822 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,880 Now briefly show us something else, 823 00:42:24,940 --> 00:42:25,920 because this sucks. 824 00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:27,580 Christian friendly streaming. 825 00:42:27,740 --> 00:42:28,420 Thanks very much. 826 00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:30,660 I hope you're going to do well. 827 00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:32,280 I don't know what that means. 828 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:32,440 Sorry. 829 00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:34,740 When are they going to get into parental controls 830 00:42:34,740 --> 00:42:36,820 to avoid the adult material you're asking? 831 00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:37,700 You're on about this? 832 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,360 Are you on about watching this stream? 833 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:39,980 I'm not sure. 834 00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:41,860 Thank you very much for the tip, though. 835 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:44,800 of software tool, Flash Studio, 836 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,660 how I might go in and modify the thing 837 00:42:46,660 --> 00:42:48,060 and what that interface would look like. 838 00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:50,700 If you're a professional, 839 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,580 you would actually use the Flash authoring tool, 840 00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,560 and it uses a timeline metaphor 841 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,100 to actually stage the different animations and audio, 842 00:42:57,660 --> 00:43:00,120 and it's as simple as going in and clicking... 843 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:00,960 Simple as ABC. 844 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,840 Change this, so I can change this to Computer Chronicles. 845 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:07,020 Sure. 846 00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:08,520 But I mean, this is, as you say, 847 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:09,480 this is for the professional. 848 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:10,900 I mean, we see lots of windows, lots of windows. 849 00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:12,260 He's floundering here. 850 00:43:12,380 --> 00:43:15,740 Stu is hustling and harrying him into a fucking frenzy. 851 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:16,000 It's a parameter. 852 00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:16,840 It's kind of complicated. 853 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:17,740 You've got to really learn. 854 00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:19,440 There's a little training curve here, right? 855 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:20,160 Yeah, you need some talent. 856 00:43:20,340 --> 00:43:20,480 Yeah. 857 00:43:20,660 --> 00:43:22,200 Let's talk then about the next thing, 858 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:23,900 which is what I mentioned, moonfruit.com, 859 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,520 which you've taken a lot of this capability. 860 00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:26,700 All right, what else? 861 00:43:26,780 --> 00:43:28,060 Put it on a live website, 862 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,280 sort of more drag-and-drop, you know, point-and-click, 863 00:43:30,460 --> 00:43:32,340 where normal people can actually accomplish 864 00:43:32,340 --> 00:43:33,240 some of the same things. 865 00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:35,840 Okay, well, let's go to... 866 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,680 Moonfruit.com. 867 00:43:37,820 --> 00:43:39,360 And here's moonfruit.com, 868 00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:42,100 and I'm logged in as myself, 869 00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:43,440 and here are my favorite sites, 870 00:43:43,660 --> 00:43:44,780 and then this is a site that I've built. 871 00:43:44,780 --> 00:43:45,240 All right. 872 00:43:45,380 --> 00:43:46,460 So, show that to us, yeah. 873 00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:47,880 So, moonfruit has actually used Flash 874 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:49,780 to create this very sophisticated application. 875 00:43:49,940 --> 00:43:51,160 So, they've used a Flash offering tool, 876 00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:52,760 but then they've made it so end users 877 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,020 can actually create their own sites. 878 00:43:54,020 --> 00:43:55,380 So, actually, sites in Flash, 879 00:43:55,460 --> 00:43:56,980 we're using Flash to create other Flash things. 880 00:43:56,980 --> 00:43:57,620 Create other Flash. 881 00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,900 So, this is an end-user site for pop music, 882 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:00,800 and I have a homepage. 883 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,500 This is something you would have built in moonfruit. 884 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:03,740 Pop up the toolbox. 885 00:44:03,740 --> 00:44:03,940 Pop up the toolbox. 886 00:44:03,940 --> 00:44:06,020 Pop up the toolbox. 887 00:44:06,020 --> 00:44:08,100 Pop up the toolbox. 888 00:44:08,100 --> 00:44:08,720 Pop up the toolbox. 889 00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:10,200 Pop up the toolbox. 890 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:12,040 Pop up the toolbox. 891 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:12,340 Pop up the toolbox. 892 00:44:12,540 --> 00:44:13,460 This is how you edit it. 893 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,520 This is how easy it is to actually create your own page. 894 00:44:15,580 --> 00:44:16,860 So, I can come over here. 895 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,160 I can simply touch on welcome and say... 896 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:20,500 Yeah, right there, Francis. 897 00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:21,160 Change that to... 898 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,100 Pop up the toolbox. 899 00:44:23,100 --> 00:44:23,340 Pop up the toolbox. 900 00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:24,940 Hello, Stuart. 901 00:44:25,300 --> 00:44:26,220 And you can mess around with that. 902 00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:28,160 I mean, flip it, rotate it, do kinds of cool things like that. 903 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:29,180 Here, I'm going to scale it. 904 00:44:30,980 --> 00:44:32,600 I can rotate it. 905 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,940 It's obviously a lot simpler interface than we looked at before. 906 00:44:34,940 --> 00:44:36,160 Right, I can add an item. 907 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:37,620 Wow, look at that, man. 908 00:44:37,700 --> 00:44:39,640 Fucking Dutch angle on the Hello Stew. 909 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:41,720 Unbelievable stuff. 910 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,980 He's just after saying you can add an item as well. 911 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:45,640 Wow. 912 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,380 Absolute wow material. 913 00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:49,040 Fucking... 914 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,320 15 of these. 915 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:55,500 Images and widgets. 916 00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:56,780 Link, text box. 917 00:44:57,340 --> 00:44:58,440 Unbelievable website. 918 00:44:58,660 --> 00:45:00,080 The site is moonfruit.com. 919 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:05,800 In fairness now, the website that we're being shown there is 100 million times better than 920 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:07,920 the ones that we've seen earlier on from 1998. 921 00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,620 And this guy really is... 922 00:45:11,620 --> 00:45:15,680 It's like an effect has been put on in Photoshop here, if you zoom in close. 923 00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:16,440 I don't know about... 924 00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,480 There's something about this episode that is bizarre. 925 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,560 It's like everyone is green screened into the app. 926 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:23,300 I'm not sure. 927 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:27,060 Or it looks like one of those pasteurized effects in Photoshop. 928 00:45:27,060 --> 00:45:33,080 You know, and you just overlay the fucking image with loads of filters. 929 00:45:34,020 --> 00:45:35,160 It's beautiful stuff. 930 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,040 Really is nice. 931 00:45:38,460 --> 00:45:39,480 Go in there and use it for free. 932 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:39,980 Yep. 933 00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:41,480 And design a cool site and put flashes. 934 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:41,680 Yep. 935 00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:42,440 Yep. 936 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:42,860 Exactly. 937 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:43,400 Norm, thank you. 938 00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:43,960 Right. 939 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,620 Thank you very much. 940 00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:45,000 Thanks, Stuart. 941 00:45:45,380 --> 00:45:49,420 Well, the key to a really attractive and engaging website, of course, is graphics. 942 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:53,520 And one company that's been around for a long time providing great graphics tools is Adobe. 943 00:45:53,660 --> 00:45:56,080 Programs like Photoshop, Illustrator, Premiere, etc. 944 00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:00,660 Well, Adobe is now coming out with new design tools for jazzing up your website. 945 00:46:01,140 --> 00:46:01,620 Okay. 946 00:46:02,620 --> 00:46:05,520 Adobe fucking... 947 00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:09,440 Don't tell me. 948 00:46:10,060 --> 00:46:10,800 Don't tell me. 949 00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:11,440 Don't tell me. 950 00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:12,060 Don't tell me. 951 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,740 It wouldn't be Dreamweaver because that's... 952 00:46:15,740 --> 00:46:17,300 I think that's Macromedia, is it? 953 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:19,480 Adobe. 954 00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:21,260 It's coming up for your website. 955 00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:22,440 Is it Flash, is it? 956 00:46:22,820 --> 00:46:26,360 It's either Flash or it's Macromedia. 957 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:27,640 No, Macromedia is Flash. 958 00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:28,600 Flash is Macromedia. 959 00:46:29,420 --> 00:46:30,560 Fucking Adobe. 960 00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,920 Oh, not After Effects. 961 00:46:34,020 --> 00:46:34,680 That'd be video. 962 00:46:35,580 --> 00:46:39,260 It would be Adobe. 963 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:43,740 Print page. 964 00:46:43,900 --> 00:46:44,220 Print. 965 00:46:44,740 --> 00:46:46,100 Fucking, I can't remember. 966 00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:48,680 And here to show them to us is Mark Eamon of Adobe. 967 00:46:48,780 --> 00:46:49,120 Hi, Mark. 968 00:46:49,540 --> 00:46:53,680 I know what he's going to present to us now, but I just can't. 969 00:46:55,820 --> 00:46:56,800 Not Photoshop. 970 00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:00,560 Adobe Acrobat. 971 00:47:00,660 --> 00:47:01,680 It's not Adobe Acrobat. 972 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:02,800 That's PDF Reader. 973 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:04,380 It's something... 974 00:47:04,380 --> 00:47:07,620 It's a desktop publishing Adobe Illustrator. 975 00:47:08,300 --> 00:47:08,900 Is it? 976 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:09,640 Hi. 977 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,200 Okay, a couple of things... 978 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:11,560 Hi. 979 00:47:11,700 --> 00:47:12,480 ...things we want to talk about. 980 00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,180 You have something called Go Live. 981 00:47:15,020 --> 00:47:15,460 InDesign. 982 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:18,340 Show us the basics of what... 983 00:47:18,340 --> 00:47:18,980 It's not even that. 984 00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:19,540 It's Go Live. 985 00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:20,620 ...go live and how it works. 986 00:47:20,700 --> 00:47:21,220 It's your tool. 987 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:22,040 Sure. 988 00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:23,500 Well, Adobe Go Live is really... 989 00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:24,300 Fucked it up. 990 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:25,520 Completely fucked it up. 991 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:26,480 ...tool for creating... 992 00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:32,360 Cutting out websites that the most discerning, discriminating web users, web developers use. 993 00:47:32,860 --> 00:47:40,020 And what I'd like to show you is how it can also be very effective for use by someone who's starting out building websites. 994 00:47:40,180 --> 00:47:40,340 Okay. 995 00:47:40,500 --> 00:47:42,480 We've put in some things here that allow you to... 996 00:47:43,340 --> 00:47:44,540 So we're in Go Live right now. 997 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:45,000 That's right. 998 00:47:45,100 --> 00:47:45,780 We're in Go Live. 999 00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:49,360 And one of the unique things we have here is a layout grid. 1000 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:54,840 A layout grid allows a user to position an element absolutely anywhere on the page. 1001 00:47:55,020 --> 00:48:01,780 Sort of like the old desktop publishing metaphor, which is something that is non-trivial if you're not using a... 1002 00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,020 If you are using another product. 1003 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,400 I mean, the point is you have the Photoshop history here. 1004 00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,480 So you guys are sort of taking that, integrating it inside the Go Live tool. 1005 00:48:10,540 --> 00:48:10,940 Is that the idea? 1006 00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:11,760 Absolutely. 1007 00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:16,480 And I'd like to show you next a really tight piece of integration that is, again, unique. 1008 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:18,240 Right shit coming up. 1009 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,440 And he's dual-wielding laptops. 1010 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,240 He's got a PC and a Mac as well. 1011 00:48:22,340 --> 00:48:25,500 It's a double job scenario right here, right now. 1012 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:26,260 It's fresh. 1013 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,200 It's a fresh piece of software, fresh out the box. 1014 00:48:31,100 --> 00:48:35,080 And we've been really excited about this since launch. 1015 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:35,960 Technologies. 1016 00:48:36,420 --> 00:48:41,720 What I'd like to do is show you how we can take an image that was created maybe for another purpose. 1017 00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:43,700 And it's another double Chino setup. 1018 00:48:43,940 --> 00:48:45,360 Just really take all this in. 1019 00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:49,820 This is 2001, and it's complete Chino Town. 1020 00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,280 Welcome to Chino Town. 1021 00:48:51,900 --> 00:48:55,980 Sponsored by Chino Moreno of that fucking band. 1022 00:48:56,180 --> 00:48:57,140 Can't remember the name. 1023 00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,520 Mine's gone septic, but I've been up since six. 1024 00:49:00,700 --> 00:49:01,460 Deftones. 1025 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:06,160 Let's do is show you how we can take an image that was created maybe for another purpose. 1026 00:49:06,260 --> 00:49:09,160 So here's an image that is 1.7 megabytes of Photoshop file. 1027 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:10,320 We want to put it on our website. 1028 00:49:10,420 --> 00:49:12,540 A monster file that might have been designed for print somewhere. 1029 00:49:12,540 --> 00:49:14,200 We don't care about the size of the file. 1030 00:49:14,540 --> 00:49:14,940 Exactly. 1031 00:49:15,140 --> 00:49:16,260 Well, you do care on the web. 1032 00:49:16,260 --> 00:49:17,240 I'm not going to get away with that here. 1033 00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:17,840 Exactly. 1034 00:49:18,140 --> 00:49:19,520 Look at that fucking face. 1035 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:21,120 Determination. 1036 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:21,760 Great. 1037 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:23,480 Effort. 1038 00:49:26,180 --> 00:49:26,940 Great biking. 1039 00:49:28,180 --> 00:49:31,560 So we have this tool in GoLive called the Smart Objects. 1040 00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:33,880 It brings up this Save for Web dialog box. 1041 00:49:33,940 --> 00:49:37,880 And if you've used any of half a dozen Adobe products, this is very familiar to you. 1042 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,020 So your learning curve is zero. 1043 00:49:39,100 --> 00:49:42,600 You can set the compression that you wish for this particular image. 1044 00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:47,440 In this case, I'm also going to want to make the image a little bit smaller on my website. 1045 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:48,960 So let's go ahead and make that smaller. 1046 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:53,520 I'll save it to my desktop to make things happen a little more quickly here. 1047 00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,800 And again, I can move it around anywhere thanks to my layout grid. 1048 00:49:56,980 --> 00:49:59,080 But here's something that's really cool and unique. 1049 00:49:59,420 --> 00:50:02,620 Suppose you wanted to now, as I realize, I've made it a little too small. 1050 00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:02,860 Right. 1051 00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:04,700 So you compressed it, but you've also compressed it. 1052 00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,460 I've made it the size. 1053 00:50:06,580 --> 00:50:07,720 Yeah, it's too small for that size. 1054 00:50:07,900 --> 00:50:08,500 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1055 00:50:08,580 --> 00:50:09,260 Smart out there. 1056 00:50:09,500 --> 00:50:10,080 What else? 1057 00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:16,360 I love when he's fucking excited about the technology. 1058 00:50:16,620 --> 00:50:17,780 He loves Power Max. 1059 00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:21,840 And always a Windows kind of guy, Stu, but he gets excited about the fucking Power Books. 1060 00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,500 Listen to this. 1061 00:50:22,580 --> 00:50:24,140 Listen to the fucking love in the voice here. 1062 00:50:24,140 --> 00:50:28,440 All right, let's go over here to what you have on, by the way, your brand new G4 Power Book. 1063 00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:29,240 Very cool. 1064 00:50:29,340 --> 00:50:30,140 Very cool indeed. 1065 00:50:30,300 --> 00:50:30,760 Slick looking. 1066 00:50:31,180 --> 00:50:33,560 Your brand new G4 Power Book. 1067 00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:34,340 Very cool. 1068 00:50:34,460 --> 00:50:35,240 Very cool indeed. 1069 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:35,900 Slick looking. 1070 00:50:36,260 --> 00:50:36,620 Thank you. 1071 00:50:37,620 --> 00:50:38,680 G4 Power Book. 1072 00:50:38,780 --> 00:50:39,460 Very cool. 1073 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:40,360 Very cool indeed. 1074 00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:40,980 Slick looking. 1075 00:50:41,340 --> 00:50:41,700 Thank you. 1076 00:50:41,940 --> 00:50:43,780 New G4 Power Book. 1077 00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:44,560 Very cool. 1078 00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:45,460 Very cool indeed. 1079 00:50:45,620 --> 00:50:46,080 Slick looking. 1080 00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:46,820 Thank you. 1081 00:50:47,060 --> 00:50:48,880 New G4 Power Book. 1082 00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:49,660 Very cool. 1083 00:50:49,780 --> 00:50:50,560 Very cool indeed. 1084 00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:51,180 Slick looking. 1085 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:51,920 Thank you. 1086 00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:54,000 And on this machine, you have what? 1087 00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:56,120 True love. 1088 00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,280 True love. 1089 00:50:58,620 --> 00:50:59,580 Technology. 1090 00:51:00,100 --> 00:51:01,160 True love. 1091 00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,120 From two fellas. 1092 00:51:04,620 --> 00:51:06,240 Essentially loving. 1093 00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:09,760 Kieran Cross. 1094 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:10,580 Thank you very much. 1095 00:51:10,720 --> 00:51:11,720 Elon Musk's brother. 1096 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:12,900 Thank you very much as well. 1097 00:51:13,900 --> 00:51:16,960 Essentially loving laptops together. 1098 00:51:17,900 --> 00:51:18,940 True love. 1099 00:51:19,100 --> 00:51:20,540 Chino boys. 1100 00:51:22,140 --> 00:51:23,960 With their true love. 1101 00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:25,640 Chino toys. 1102 00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:27,280 All right. 1103 00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:31,460 Let's go over here to what you have on, by the way, your brand new G4 Power Book. 1104 00:51:31,580 --> 00:51:32,260 Very cool. 1105 00:51:32,380 --> 00:51:33,160 Very cool indeed. 1106 00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:33,780 Slick looking. 1107 00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:34,500 Thank you. 1108 00:51:34,740 --> 00:51:36,580 And on this machine, you have what? 1109 00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:37,280 Live motion. 1110 00:51:37,820 --> 00:51:38,300 Yes, I do. 1111 00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,740 Look at the fucking rig out scenario here. 1112 00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:44,480 He's got a fucking VGA coming out of that bad boy. 1113 00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:52,220 He's only gone and got a fucking VGA fucking pouring out the back of that back trap door. 1114 00:51:53,140 --> 00:51:57,680 And you can see his other ports ready for action, ready for plug and play action there. 1115 00:51:58,260 --> 00:52:00,120 Gabriel, thanks very much for the tip there. 1116 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:06,720 Hope you're getting on well this side of Christmas and enjoying this G4 Power Book. 1117 00:52:06,820 --> 00:52:07,640 Very cool. 1118 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:08,660 Very nice. 1119 00:52:10,660 --> 00:52:11,140 Yeah. 1120 00:52:12,700 --> 00:52:13,640 One more time. 1121 00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:17,180 Have on, by the way, your brand new G4 Power Book. 1122 00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:17,980 Very cool. 1123 00:52:18,100 --> 00:52:18,880 Very cool indeed. 1124 00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:19,500 Slick looking. 1125 00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:20,220 Thank you. 1126 00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,300 And on this machine, you have what? 1127 00:52:22,740 --> 00:52:29,100 And just the thank you there as well is I've noticed this before. 1128 00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:32,220 There's nothing wrong with it because we're all proud of our purchases. 1129 00:52:32,500 --> 00:52:37,560 But it's as if when you say thank you about a fucking purchase, like as if that's, you know, 1130 00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:41,260 something you've raised, like you raised that child and the child has done well. 1131 00:52:41,260 --> 00:52:42,360 And there's a compliment. 1132 00:52:42,540 --> 00:52:46,520 It's as if you've had some sort of input in its creation. 1133 00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,000 But he seemed very cool. 1134 00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:52,380 And then people take that their purchase on personally. 1135 00:52:52,580 --> 00:52:53,480 It's like, oh, thank you. 1136 00:52:53,540 --> 00:52:54,320 Thank you very much. 1137 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,520 Like, that's the world that we're living in now, you know. 1138 00:52:58,020 --> 00:53:05,060 And we fetishize the fucking products to the point where we actually believe they're a part of, they're an extension of us, basically. 1139 00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:06,280 And look at the glee and the joy. 1140 00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:07,600 Is there anything wrong with that? 1141 00:53:07,660 --> 00:53:08,440 I'm not sure. 1142 00:53:08,660 --> 00:53:11,320 Because look at the joy and the glee that brings this guy. 1143 00:53:12,780 --> 00:53:13,420 Very cool. 1144 00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:14,900 Big tripod. 1145 00:53:15,060 --> 00:53:15,900 Thank you very much. 1146 00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:17,940 Titanium PowerBook G4. 1147 00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:18,800 Thank you very much. 1148 00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:19,540 Very cool indeed. 1149 00:53:19,700 --> 00:53:20,160 Slick looking. 1150 00:53:20,540 --> 00:53:20,900 Thank you. 1151 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,040 And on this mission. 1152 00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:22,800 Thank you. 1153 00:53:23,020 --> 00:53:30,120 And I've just, it touches on something that I've thought about when I've seen other people who are, you know, 1154 00:53:30,140 --> 00:53:34,420 they say thank you when people say, wow, that's cool, man. 1155 00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,960 I think the correct response would be, not that you have to have a correct response. 1156 00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:40,160 That's fine what he did. 1157 00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,620 But you just go, it is, yeah. 1158 00:53:43,060 --> 00:53:43,840 It's fucking cool. 1159 00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:45,960 I know, man. 1160 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:46,360 I know. 1161 00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:49,520 Fucking, hey, don't tell, don't tell the bank. 1162 00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,020 Don't tell the accountant, though, you know. 1163 00:53:51,100 --> 00:53:53,040 Fucking set me back a few fucking, you know, whatever. 1164 00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:57,620 But sometimes people take it on and it's their own thing. 1165 00:53:57,620 --> 00:54:02,520 I imagine there'd be Tesla people, people who are driving Teslas that might get really kind of, 1166 00:54:02,820 --> 00:54:04,480 thanks very much, man. 1167 00:54:04,820 --> 00:54:05,100 Great. 1168 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:12,640 In an unlikely crossover, Rio Ferdinand has said multiple times when discussing best players during yesterday's ITV World Cup coverage 1169 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,020 that they were, they really enhanced their reputations. 1170 00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:17,260 Alvarez really enhanced his reputation. 1171 00:54:17,380 --> 00:54:18,040 I didn't see it. 1172 00:54:18,720 --> 00:54:20,520 And I was watching the RT coverage as well. 1173 00:54:21,260 --> 00:54:23,040 Dara Powerball Maloney. 1174 00:54:23,820 --> 00:54:26,980 And I think Ray Houghton were on comms. 1175 00:54:26,980 --> 00:54:29,860 And it was, there was some good stuff. 1176 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:30,800 There was some good stuff. 1177 00:54:30,940 --> 00:54:34,040 I think Dara Maloney said at one time, 1178 00:54:34,260 --> 00:54:39,700 to reference the fact that Martinez had had fuck all to do for, like, most of the game. 1179 00:54:40,300 --> 00:54:43,520 He was like, Martinez is there just doing his nails. 1180 00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:45,000 Cleaning his boots. 1181 00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:47,760 I thought, doing his nails? 1182 00:54:48,720 --> 00:54:52,300 Well, is he down getting a fucking manicure with the girls? 1183 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:57,420 Like, he said doing his nails, but then it didn't make sense because sure, he'd have gloves on. 1184 00:54:57,460 --> 00:54:58,580 He wouldn't be doing his nails. 1185 00:54:59,420 --> 00:55:01,040 And then why would you be doing his nails anyway? 1186 00:55:01,100 --> 00:55:01,640 He's a bloke. 1187 00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:06,200 And he covered it up straight away by saying, cleaning his boots. 1188 00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:14,160 So, but that didn't make sense either because you'd probably have a fucking, one of the lads cleaning the boots back in the dressing room anyway. 1189 00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:14,680 Like, you know? 1190 00:55:15,380 --> 00:55:15,560 Anyway. 1191 00:55:15,620 --> 00:55:16,560 Shane, you have what? 1192 00:55:16,620 --> 00:55:17,120 Live motion. 1193 00:55:17,140 --> 00:55:20,900 If that's on the player for the next fortnight, you can go and watch it. 1194 00:55:21,420 --> 00:55:22,100 Yes, I do. 1195 00:55:22,100 --> 00:55:25,340 Which is a way to create the kinds of flash animations we just saw before? 1196 00:55:25,820 --> 00:55:29,920 Live motion is Adobe's tool for creating flash files. 1197 00:55:29,940 --> 00:55:30,240 Okay. 1198 00:55:30,420 --> 00:55:34,600 And it, again, shares a lot of technology with other Adobe applications. 1199 00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:34,860 All right. 1200 00:55:34,860 --> 00:55:37,520 Now, most people think it's pretty complicated to create some of these things. 1201 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,520 We saw one easy version over there. 1202 00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,600 Show us how easy it is to use live motion. 1203 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:42,260 Sure. 1204 00:55:42,260 --> 00:55:43,980 Well, we go ahead to the screen here. 1205 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:48,300 We have the beginnings of an introduction animation to a website. 1206 00:55:48,900 --> 00:55:50,760 And at the bottom of the screen, we have the timeline. 1207 00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,760 The timeline basically moves through time. 1208 00:55:52,940 --> 00:55:53,920 Timeline velocity. 1209 00:55:54,180 --> 00:55:55,120 So you move back and forth. 1210 00:55:55,180 --> 00:55:58,640 And you can see that I have different layers of information. 1211 00:55:59,380 --> 00:55:59,800 But what I want. 1212 00:55:59,900 --> 00:56:00,320 GMLB. 1213 00:56:00,420 --> 00:56:01,940 Do you see your man riding the globe trophy? 1214 00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:02,380 Yeah. 1215 00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:03,200 We watched it. 1216 00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,820 We desiccated, decimated it. 1217 00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:10,300 We dissected it earlier on and went through the fucking different images of it. 1218 00:56:11,240 --> 00:56:13,720 And that's on the first stream of the day. 1219 00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:15,620 And what else? 1220 00:56:15,700 --> 00:56:16,860 The messy we've seen. 1221 00:56:17,060 --> 00:56:17,760 Salt B. 1222 00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:19,660 Strong arm and messy. 1223 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:20,360 And getting in. 1224 00:56:20,420 --> 00:56:24,040 Just really gigging in on the whole fucking winner's ceremony. 1225 00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:25,860 How did he even get on the pitch? 1226 00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:26,800 You know? 1227 00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:28,160 Crazy bit of business. 1228 00:56:28,300 --> 00:56:28,940 With some new animation. 1229 00:56:29,100 --> 00:56:32,360 We'll have a look at the news in a minute and check and see if there's any developments on it. 1230 00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:34,040 Again, I have a document on my desktop. 1231 00:56:34,260 --> 00:56:35,880 This is, again, a Photoshop file. 1232 00:56:35,980 --> 00:56:36,720 It's very popular. 1233 00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:40,960 Over 90% of the web pages have images created with Photoshop on them. 1234 00:56:41,300 --> 00:56:43,200 So I simply drag and drop. 1235 00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:47,000 And I end up with an image on the screen. 1236 00:56:47,340 --> 00:56:49,860 That is this Photoshop animation. 1237 00:56:50,780 --> 00:56:52,140 Actually, a Photoshop photograph. 1238 00:56:52,140 --> 00:56:52,640 Right, right. 1239 00:56:52,740 --> 00:56:54,960 Which originally actually has two layers. 1240 00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,280 The sky is one layer and the sky is another layer. 1241 00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,820 You probably don't want to animate the sky, right? 1242 00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:02,040 Well, it would look a little funny to have the sky move so quickly. 1243 00:57:02,460 --> 00:57:04,780 So, again, thanks to the integration between our products. 1244 00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:07,640 Really excited to see what he does with this now. 1245 00:57:07,780 --> 00:57:09,360 It's fucking mind-blowing. 1246 00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,960 I will convert the layers into separate objects. 1247 00:57:12,100 --> 00:57:14,460 So I can now, in this case, delete just the sky. 1248 00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:15,040 Okay. 1249 00:57:15,240 --> 00:57:16,920 And now you want to animate the skier guy. 1250 00:57:17,060 --> 00:57:19,240 Let's use the skier here and animate him. 1251 00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,000 We can, of course, resize him. 1252 00:57:21,220 --> 00:57:21,560 Wow. 1253 00:57:21,940 --> 00:57:27,520 And what I can do here is, if I point out the timeline, automatically I have a layer. 1254 00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:30,380 And it's called skier because of the integration between our products. 1255 00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:31,160 Skier layer. 1256 00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:32,500 I named it in Photoshop. 1257 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,860 And I've just twirled down these little keyframes. 1258 00:57:35,940 --> 00:57:38,540 And the keyframe is basically setting a point in time. 1259 00:57:38,540 --> 00:57:40,680 So you're going to create a little path for the animation here? 1260 00:57:40,700 --> 00:57:41,000 Exactly. 1261 00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:44,860 So the first thing I'm telling you is at this point in time, you see the little black dot. 1262 00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:46,560 This is where I want you to be. 1263 00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,640 X and Y coordinates on the screen. 1264 00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,380 Next, I'll move my cursor to the end of the animation. 1265 00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:52,400 Oh, for folks' sake. 1266 00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:52,840 Come on. 1267 00:57:54,300 --> 00:57:55,000 For $99. 1268 00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:55,700 Cool. 1269 00:57:56,060 --> 00:57:57,680 And live motions, less than $100. 1270 00:57:57,920 --> 00:57:59,400 Mark, thank you very much. 1271 00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,340 Coming up next, a guy using JavaScript. 1272 00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,120 Well, they were JavaScript. 1273 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:04,580 They were both happy with that. 1274 00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:04,980 And live motions. 1275 00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,380 And Stu's really happy with that as well. 1276 00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:10,500 I think he was just happy to be in the presence of a fucking PowerBook owner. 1277 00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:11,720 A G4. 1278 00:58:11,900 --> 00:58:12,360 That's $100. 1279 00:58:12,620 --> 00:58:14,100 Mark, thank you very much. 1280 00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:17,440 Coming up next, a guy using JavaScript on your website. 1281 00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:18,220 Don't go away. 1282 00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:18,980 We'll be right back. 1283 00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:35,680 If you really want a hot website that does things and is... 1284 00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:36,240 Shit. 1285 00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,360 ...interactive, you need JavaScript. 1286 00:58:38,900 --> 00:58:41,120 And here to give us some of the basics on using JavaScript... 1287 00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:45,260 Is Jimmy Java from Java Beanland. 1288 00:58:45,260 --> 00:58:46,860 Your website is Danny Goodman. 1289 00:58:47,340 --> 00:58:48,400 Danny Java. 1290 00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:50,720 Author of the JavaScript Bible. 1291 00:58:50,940 --> 00:58:53,380 Author of Java or Bust. 1292 00:58:53,580 --> 00:58:57,420 ...pages worth of JavaScript, so you must be the author, the expert of the Bible there. 1293 00:58:57,540 --> 00:58:57,940 We'll see. 1294 00:58:58,220 --> 00:58:58,500 Okay. 1295 00:58:58,980 --> 00:58:59,940 We'll see. 1296 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,620 Danny, first of all, let's define our terms. 1297 00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:04,000 It's called JavaScript, and people talk about Java. 1298 00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:06,760 What exactly is JavaScript, and how is it different from playing Java? 1299 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,660 There are two very different technologies, Java. 1300 00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:10,840 And this is a great setup as well. 1301 00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:14,720 It's denim with smart, casual sort of vibe. 1302 00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:17,240 You know, it's a gigantic jacket. 1303 00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:24,540 And then you've got the kind of probably straight, straight leg jeans. 1304 00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:30,560 And he's gone for the blue shirt underneath there as well. 1305 00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:31,400 Let's get some... 1306 00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:32,800 There'll be a frontal shot coming up. 1307 00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,060 Java was developed by Sun. 1308 00:59:34,060 --> 00:59:35,620 And it's used primarily on the... 1309 00:59:35,620 --> 00:59:37,540 Developed by Sun. 1310 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:45,280 And this is the green screen outline of the fella from the first bit that we've seen. 1311 00:59:46,300 --> 00:59:47,060 Crazy bit of business. 1312 00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:48,160 ...server programming now. 1313 00:59:48,460 --> 00:59:52,560 JavaScript is a general purpose, standards-based language. 1314 00:59:52,940 --> 00:59:55,220 Fucking George Lucas is after you, man. 1315 00:59:56,300 --> 00:59:57,420 Luke Georges. 1316 00:59:58,540 --> 01:00:00,520 He's fucking Georges, man. 1317 01:00:01,780 --> 01:00:04,040 ...language that was developed at Netscape. 1318 01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,600 And it's used extensively now in web browsers. 1319 01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:08,520 Most of the modern browsers we use now. 1320 01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:09,020 All right. 1321 01:00:09,020 --> 01:00:13,420 Now, what is the value of putting some JavaScript applications into my website? 1322 01:00:13,420 --> 01:00:15,260 When and how should I use JavaScript? 1323 01:00:15,260 --> 01:00:20,600 The way I like to use it is as an additive to your content. 1324 01:00:20,660 --> 01:00:27,140 So that someone who has a script-enabled browser has a better experience than someone who does not have a script-enabled browser. 1325 01:00:27,140 --> 01:00:39,140 All right. Well, let's explain what you mean by that. I mean, so what are some of the things you can do by inserting JavaScript? Like, I know you have one example of updating, making sure things are timely rather than just sort of static, stale content. How does that work? 1326 01:00:39,140 --> 01:00:52,700 Well, at my own website, I have pages that list the errata for my books. Let's see it. You may have visited six months ago, and I've done many updates irregularly over that period. 1327 01:00:52,700 --> 01:01:07,460 and Jerry Adams kind of a person that people saw saw or the people are what you want to see what's 1328 01:01:07,460 --> 01:01:24,500 about new we're nature we need to investigate as collision between government and you you need but what we were like 1329 01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:34,820 to say first a process of this and renegotiations and get forward and move through with the computer 1330 01:01:34,820 --> 01:01:41,940 chronicles but what we need to investigate is collusion between JavaScript and Netscript browsers 1331 01:01:43,380 --> 01:01:49,700 all right so what else Jerry so without the JavaScript I go there and I would see all the 1332 01:01:49,700 --> 01:01:54,020 same stuff I saw before with JavaScript it's smart enough to know when the last time I was there right 1333 01:01:54,020 --> 01:01:59,300 and only count from there on new items are flagged like on this page new items are show with a little 1334 01:01:59,300 --> 01:02:04,640 icon that indicate that this is new for you and none of this information is stored on the server it's 1335 01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:08,960 all done locally okay so essentially the JavaScript now is tagging the specific things that are important 1336 01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:14,880 to me as the individual user so there's a big benefit there okay what other examples of things we could do 1337 01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:42,880 what else JavaScript is an additive on our website um for instance uh never have I ever ever ever been a member of the JavaScript community ever and I can tell you that unequivocally right now all right Jerry what else what else well that's up with us yeah yeah yeah yeah mm-hmm 1338 01:02:42,880 --> 01:02:52,160 enhanced interface. We got an enhanced interface on this right here, right now. Don't go away, 1339 01:02:52,160 --> 01:03:00,260 because when we come back, we got an enhanced interface on this website right here, right now. 1340 01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:06,140 Javid the host, thank you very much. Jackie, thank you very much as well. 1341 01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:10,640 Thanks to it, so that if you want to find out the value of a resistor component, for instance, 1342 01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:23,080 we're doing things here locally by changing images and performing calculations that don't have to go back to the server. We're manipulating all of the objects on the screen here and locally and instantaneously. 1343 01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:31,160 All right, so what we're doing here, instead of just doing the calculating numbers, you're actually also in real time changing the appropriate colors on the resistor so we can see what those numbers represent. 1344 01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:40,600 And we're using the brains of the computer, the local computer. Right, again, not on the server, it's sitting right in here. Now let's talk about, we're not going to do this in a couple of minutes, 1345 01:03:40,600 --> 01:03:52,600 Okay, Jerry, let's talk about, and well, Republican devices, how you create JavaScript. Just give us a simple example of adding a piece of JavaScript code. Well, JavaScript goes in the HTML doc. 1346 01:03:52,600 --> 01:04:21,600 Well, never have I ever, ever, ever utilized a HTML document. And we can see here's JavaScript right here, right now. And what this will tell you is, if you look deeply into it, that I never, ever was a member of the JavaScript community. Not once, not twice, not three times a lady. And what's more, Netscape. It's not working. It doesn't work unless you have them on the screen, really. 1347 01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:50,600 All right. All right. All right. Now tell me about the loyal. Okay. Okay. Okay. What else would I have to do to gain access to Northern Ireland? All right. Okay. Jerry, tell me what went on up north? Was it nice? Or was it bad? And did you have the technology to deal with the situation up there? Well, the technology is a different question. And I have to, I have to come back to you on that one later on. 1348 01:04:50,600 --> 01:05:17,180 I'll see you on that one later on. But I just need to reiterate the initial point that I made in the first place was that I never, ever used Mac. I was, I was a hundred, a hundred percent PC. I went with 95, 96 and 97. I'd never, ever, ever, ever used a Macintosh computer. And you can, you can fact check that. You can fact check that's true. I promise you that. 1349 01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:25,540 All right. All right. So you never use the Mac. All right. Never. All right. So you never use a Mac. 1350 01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:40,840 Never. Uh, it's not even in my interest to use a Mac. Okay. So tell me about the handheld loyalist devices and the collusion between the British government and the RUC. 1351 01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:48,980 Yeah. Well, we have information that came through secret domain, uh, pipelines through JavaScript that actually, um, 1352 01:05:49,540 --> 01:06:05,540 So that, yeah, that there was collusion. Uh, until we investigate that, we will never be able to move forward in the North. Uh, whether or not it's a North, Northern Ireland used, utilizing JavaScript or a, uh, Northern Ireland utilizing Macintosh. 1353 01:06:08,600 --> 01:06:17,540 All right. That's very nice. We got some good loyalist information. And how about handheld? So I can't, I can't keep up with this. 1354 01:06:19,540 --> 01:06:26,480 Can't keep up with George, George Lucas and Shafay. So we just need to carry on as normal. Compatible to your browser. 1355 01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:39,420 So this is the index page and you choose the, whatever chapter you want and it lists the, the, uh, the, uh, listings for that particular chapter. And it highlights which ones in color are compatible with this browser. 1356 01:06:39,420 --> 01:06:44,420 And this is something that might've been a collection of all these separate pages. You can bring all this information together in one sort of page. 1357 01:06:44,420 --> 01:06:48,260 and bring all these paramiliteries together in one type package. 1358 01:06:48,260 --> 01:06:49,040 Thank you very much, Danny. 1359 01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:49,620 Thank you. 1360 01:06:49,620 --> 01:06:50,440 Thank you very much, Jerry. 1361 01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:53,840 All right, well, you can have all the exotic elements ever invented on your website 1362 01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:58,700 and still have a lousy website, one that's hard to use, slow to load, or just plain confusing. 1363 01:06:58,820 --> 01:07:04,320 Here to guide us through the secrets of web usability is one of the world's leading experts on the subject, 1364 01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:05,120 Jacob Nielsen. 1365 01:07:05,180 --> 01:07:05,700 Welcome, Jacob. 1366 01:07:05,900 --> 01:07:06,320 Thanks, John. 1367 01:07:06,540 --> 01:07:07,840 All right, let's go through some examples. 1368 01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:10,980 I want to just call up some websites, and I want you to play critic here. 1369 01:07:11,060 --> 01:07:12,100 You can be the movie critic here. 1370 01:07:12,180 --> 01:07:12,400 I do. 1371 01:07:12,460 --> 01:07:14,300 Why it's good or why it's bad, okay? 1372 01:07:14,780 --> 01:07:24,140 And let's start with one. 1373 01:07:24,140 --> 01:07:41,580 I know you have some issues with this one. 1374 01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:44,420 Well, we'll pull it up here and see what happens. 1375 01:07:45,780 --> 01:07:47,060 And what is this website for? 1376 01:07:47,300 --> 01:07:49,400 It's for pens, very nice pens, I should say. 1377 01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:50,340 Okay, so you're buying them all long pens. 1378 01:07:50,420 --> 01:07:50,880 Yeah, they're very nice pens. 1379 01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:52,740 You've got some nice pens going right here. 1380 01:07:52,780 --> 01:07:54,200 We still don't actually know what it's about. 1381 01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:55,200 Where is my experience? 1382 01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:58,640 We're just waiting and waiting, so it's loading and it's loading and it's loading. 1383 01:07:59,060 --> 01:08:00,960 So it's trying to put this big flash opening up. 1384 01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:05,060 Yeah, it is, and we're still waiting, and we probably even have a fast connection here in the studio. 1385 01:08:05,260 --> 01:08:11,720 So now we've finally got their logo and some little shading thing, and I'm asking, was this worth waiting for? 1386 01:08:11,720 --> 01:08:13,020 And I say no. 1387 01:08:13,020 --> 01:08:15,040 Yeah, but a lot of sites do this. 1388 01:08:15,100 --> 01:08:20,240 They just put all this cutesy junk up, which the guy who wrote it may love, but a user is on to another website by now. 1389 01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:22,100 Don't put these barriers in my way. 1390 01:08:22,220 --> 01:08:23,620 Get me right to where I want. 1391 01:08:23,940 --> 01:08:24,340 Whoa. 1392 01:08:24,460 --> 01:08:25,080 And one of the... 1393 01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:27,260 It's a fucking definite article. 1394 01:08:27,580 --> 01:08:29,160 Slap master flash. 1395 01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:32,260 Thank you very much, Hugh Lowry there. 1396 01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:33,360 Three in one day. 1397 01:08:34,140 --> 01:08:35,240 You better believe it. 1398 01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:42,420 And slap master gash right here, really fucking laying down the law with a fist slap into the palm. 1399 01:08:42,980 --> 01:08:44,120 You don't want to fuck with this guy. 1400 01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:50,820 This is one Francis Dollarhide that is ready to do some damage in the fucking information superhighway world. 1401 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:52,640 Don't put these barriers in my way. 1402 01:08:52,820 --> 01:08:55,540 Get the fuck out of my way. 1403 01:08:56,180 --> 01:08:57,980 I'm Jake Jakob Nielsen. 1404 01:08:58,060 --> 01:08:59,340 Get the fuck out of my way. 1405 01:08:59,480 --> 01:09:02,660 Don't put these barriers in my way. 1406 01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:04,540 Get out of my PC. 1407 01:09:06,140 --> 01:09:08,960 But you as a user, you're going to another website by now. 1408 01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:10,820 Don't put these barriers in my way. 1409 01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:12,640 Get me right to where I want. 1410 01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:13,580 Get me right to where I want. 1411 01:09:13,580 --> 01:09:15,540 Get me right to where I want. 1412 01:09:15,540 --> 01:09:17,460 Get me right to where I want. 1413 01:09:17,460 --> 01:09:19,580 Get me right to where I want. 1414 01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:21,700 Get me right to where I want. 1415 01:09:21,700 --> 01:09:23,620 And one way they pop up. 1416 01:09:23,620 --> 01:09:24,660 It's separate window. 1417 01:09:24,660 --> 01:09:25,860 Why do that? 1418 01:09:25,860 --> 01:09:27,920 I mean, separate window? 1419 01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:29,860 Why do that? 1420 01:09:29,860 --> 01:09:31,340 Behind it is my original window. 1421 01:09:31,340 --> 01:09:32,420 But why do the separate windows? 1422 01:09:32,420 --> 01:09:33,420 It doesn't do you know. 1423 01:09:33,420 --> 01:09:33,920 All right. 1424 01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:35,420 That's got an interesting with the Sony website. 1425 01:09:35,420 --> 01:09:35,920 Right. 1426 01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:38,760 Now, you would think that'd be pretty cool, but you have some issues with that one. 1427 01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:39,200 Right. 1428 01:09:39,380 --> 01:09:41,620 Just close the off the Mont Blanc website and let's go to Sony. 1429 01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:47,640 Well, first of all, you've got to actually pick it out of a W in your bookmark list because they happen to call the site. 1430 01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:48,760 Welcome to Sony. 1431 01:09:48,760 --> 01:09:49,200 The Sony. 1432 01:09:49,540 --> 01:09:49,880 It comes up on the website. 1433 01:09:49,880 --> 01:09:50,840 Stu likes the energy. 1434 01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:52,580 Does Stu like the energy? 1435 01:09:52,820 --> 01:09:56,580 Stu likes the energy because it's a man who knows what the fuck he's on about. 1436 01:09:56,700 --> 01:09:57,660 He's taking control. 1437 01:09:58,440 --> 01:09:59,640 Thank you very much, Barrier. 1438 01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:06,340 Who doesn't like anyone who's just a salesperson or has no charisma or anything? 1439 01:10:06,340 --> 01:10:24,580 And Stu can see that the common man, the layman, will identify with Jakob Nielsen's hand punches and kind of vitriolic response to the websites there. 1440 01:10:24,700 --> 01:10:26,560 They're kind of, this is shit. 1441 01:10:26,700 --> 01:10:28,060 Get out of my way. 1442 01:10:28,260 --> 01:10:29,520 Get me into this. 1443 01:10:29,620 --> 01:10:32,400 Get the fuck out of my computer, you know? 1444 01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:37,280 And Stu likes that because it's grabbing the bull by the horns. 1445 01:10:37,500 --> 01:10:38,420 It's a separate window. 1446 01:10:38,940 --> 01:10:39,800 Why do that? 1447 01:10:40,120 --> 01:10:41,700 I mean, Stu does like it. 1448 01:10:42,380 --> 01:10:45,560 Stu does like your man's energy. 1449 01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:48,800 Behind it is, and one of the things, they pop up, it's a separate window. 1450 01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:50,280 Why do that? 1451 01:10:50,500 --> 01:10:53,380 I mean, behind it is my original window, but why do the separate windows? 1452 01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:54,120 It doesn't do anything. 1453 01:10:54,380 --> 01:10:56,300 All right, that's got an interesting one, the Sony website. 1454 01:10:56,440 --> 01:10:56,680 Right. 1455 01:10:56,780 --> 01:10:59,120 Now, you would think that'd be pretty cool, but you have some issues with that one. 1456 01:10:59,240 --> 01:10:59,560 Right. 1457 01:10:59,740 --> 01:11:02,000 Just close the off the Mont Blanc website and let's go to Sony. 1458 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:06,600 Well, first of all, you've got to actually pick it out of the W in your bookmark list because 1459 01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:09,180 they happen to call the site Welcome to Sony. 1460 01:11:09,180 --> 01:11:09,580 Sorry. 1461 01:11:09,580 --> 01:11:13,740 Out of the W in your bookmark list because they happen to call the site Welcome to Sony. 1462 01:11:13,740 --> 01:11:17,460 So if you're looking for Sony, it comes up under W, not S, which is pretty dumb. 1463 01:11:17,500 --> 01:11:21,260 Now, I only have a few in this particular list, but if you have many bookmarks, many people do. 1464 01:11:21,260 --> 01:11:22,180 All right, so let's pull up the Sony site. 1465 01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:23,140 So we pull up the Sony site. 1466 01:11:23,140 --> 01:11:24,200 What are the problems here? 1467 01:11:24,620 --> 01:11:26,300 Doesn't like the bookmark bar. 1468 01:11:26,380 --> 01:11:29,500 Well, we're still waiting, but it's not actually nearly as bad as the previous one. 1469 01:11:30,500 --> 01:11:32,120 That looks rubbish, isn't it? 1470 01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:32,620 For Sony. 1471 01:11:33,380 --> 01:11:34,220 Big company. 1472 01:11:35,020 --> 01:11:35,880 Big, big company. 1473 01:11:36,060 --> 01:11:36,980 Big, deep pockets. 1474 01:11:37,580 --> 01:11:38,200 Shit website. 1475 01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:39,800 2001. 1476 01:11:40,940 --> 01:11:44,920 The only one I do here is to buy a cable for my Sony laptop, which I happen to have. 1477 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:45,960 It's a very nice machine. 1478 01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:46,320 Okay. 1479 01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:47,100 And to do that... 1480 01:11:47,100 --> 01:11:48,740 These adverts here. 1481 01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:49,100 What's this? 1482 01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:49,520 Turner. 1483 01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:50,360 Tanaris. 1484 01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:51,800 Is that a Sony thing? 1485 01:11:51,940 --> 01:11:54,460 Is Fang Vision a Sony thing? 1486 01:11:55,140 --> 01:11:55,680 J-Lo. 1487 01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:58,280 And Sony Vega Television. 1488 01:11:59,700 --> 01:12:06,080 It's like third party ads on a fucking flagship website for a major electronics brand. 1489 01:12:06,940 --> 01:12:09,540 Electronics bland by the fucking website. 1490 01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:10,380 That sounds, huh? 1491 01:12:14,380 --> 01:12:16,480 I gotta go to this tiny little... 1492 01:12:16,480 --> 01:12:18,620 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. 1493 01:12:19,380 --> 01:12:23,140 Golden Globe winner for the best foreign language film. 1494 01:12:23,220 --> 01:12:23,540 Menu. 1495 01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:24,940 And I'm not getting... 1496 01:12:24,940 --> 01:12:26,840 Now I'm getting a post-it stamp size. 1497 01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:27,040 Right. 1498 01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:28,220 To actually scroll through... 1499 01:12:28,220 --> 01:12:29,700 Of course you're not gonna see the word cable anywhere. 1500 01:12:29,700 --> 01:12:30,320 No, no, no. 1501 01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:32,200 I gotta kind of pick it out on electronics. 1502 01:12:32,260 --> 01:12:32,980 So you have to guess. 1503 01:12:33,140 --> 01:12:36,100 But the entire rest of the screen space is wasted. 1504 01:12:36,440 --> 01:12:40,740 And the little tiny menu is my only bet or only kind of way of navigating the website. 1505 01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:44,520 So I pass to the computers and I go to get their computers. 1506 01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:45,740 And... 1507 01:12:45,740 --> 01:12:47,020 And you haven't gotten any farther, really. 1508 01:12:47,140 --> 01:12:47,140 No. 1509 01:12:47,140 --> 01:12:48,800 And notice this is a completely different design. 1510 01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:51,720 So if I learned the first design, I now have to learn something new. 1511 01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:52,880 And you still don't know where cables are. 1512 01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:53,620 I have no clue. 1513 01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:56,320 And I gotta look at these tiny little pictures down here. 1514 01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:57,900 Tiny little menu. 1515 01:12:58,100 --> 01:12:59,360 So I'm gonna click on that. 1516 01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:01,360 And you know, it's quite a lot of clicks. 1517 01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:03,040 And you still haven't gotten where you want to be. 1518 01:13:03,040 --> 01:13:03,420 Oh, no. 1519 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:03,740 All right. 1520 01:13:03,900 --> 01:13:05,780 About six more clicks, actually. 1521 01:13:06,100 --> 01:13:07,160 Let's go to another site. 1522 01:13:07,220 --> 01:13:07,880 The Pepsi site. 1523 01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:08,300 Right. 1524 01:13:08,420 --> 01:13:09,100 Pepsi.com. 1525 01:13:09,140 --> 01:13:10,620 Again, you would think this would be a pretty cool site. 1526 01:13:10,740 --> 01:13:11,220 But you have a... 1527 01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:14,020 A pretty cool site for fucking sugar water. 1528 01:13:14,140 --> 01:13:15,980 We already had Coca-Cola earlier on. 1529 01:13:16,020 --> 01:13:18,680 I think there might have been a few backhanders going around. 1530 01:13:19,900 --> 01:13:23,760 We already know that stew was on the take from Israel. 1531 01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:29,140 There was a bit of stew washing going on over in Israel. 1532 01:13:29,140 --> 01:13:31,760 We seen that on an episode there a couple of weeks ago. 1533 01:13:32,240 --> 01:13:35,120 Where they made a complete bump episode. 1534 01:13:35,300 --> 01:13:36,360 It was just a load of bump. 1535 01:13:36,900 --> 01:13:39,600 There was nothing exciting or interesting about it all. 1536 01:13:39,680 --> 01:13:42,140 Just companies over in Tel Aviv. 1537 01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:43,720 Once due Uniflu. 1538 01:13:43,860 --> 01:13:44,640 Thank you very much. 1539 01:13:45,120 --> 01:13:45,760 Issues with that one. 1540 01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:46,820 Well, Pepsi. 1541 01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:47,480 I mean, maybe... 1542 01:13:47,480 --> 01:13:48,600 This is going to be good. 1543 01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:49,380 This has to be good. 1544 01:13:49,480 --> 01:13:49,760 Pepsi. 1545 01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:50,220 Come on. 1546 01:13:50,400 --> 01:13:52,060 Big flagship brand. 1547 01:13:52,760 --> 01:13:54,400 Deepest pockets in the business, no? 1548 01:13:55,840 --> 01:13:57,320 Messi's on their books in the future. 1549 01:13:57,580 --> 01:13:59,100 Fucking Pogba and the boys. 1550 01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:00,840 Fucking... 1551 01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:04,920 I don't know who was flagging their fucking wares back in 2001. 1552 01:14:05,140 --> 01:14:09,640 But you have to imagine they had money to throw at shite. 1553 01:14:10,020 --> 01:14:12,480 Maybe to be fair to them, it's hard to see what they really can do. 1554 01:14:12,520 --> 01:14:14,960 Because you cannot take a taste test on the web. 1555 01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:15,340 But... 1556 01:14:15,340 --> 01:14:16,620 What are you going to do on a Pepsi website? 1557 01:14:16,620 --> 01:14:17,040 What are you going to do? 1558 01:14:17,100 --> 01:14:17,320 Right. 1559 01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:18,320 They really don't have... 1560 01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:22,100 What the fuck are you going to do with Pepsi on the web, right? 1561 01:14:22,140 --> 01:14:23,480 You want to drink that shit. 1562 01:14:24,780 --> 01:14:25,600 Win a computer. 1563 01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:27,060 Two for the road. 1564 01:14:30,700 --> 01:14:32,060 Two for the road. 1565 01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:36,780 Have anything really... 1566 01:14:36,780 --> 01:14:38,700 I mean, they have these little blinking, moving things. 1567 01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:39,780 But not anything really useful. 1568 01:14:39,780 --> 01:14:42,780 And of course, you don't get to see everything that's up there right now because of the way it's designed. 1569 01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:43,680 Oh, we have to scroll forever. 1570 01:14:43,800 --> 01:14:45,520 Look, when I scroll here... 1571 01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:45,700 Yes. 1572 01:14:45,700 --> 01:14:48,300 Only about half of my screen space is really active. 1573 01:14:48,300 --> 01:14:49,300 The other... 1574 01:14:49,300 --> 01:14:51,380 Pepsi's getting fucking wrecked here. 1575 01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:53,760 Absolutely wrecked. 1576 01:14:54,300 --> 01:14:55,140 But not anything really useful. 1577 01:14:55,140 --> 01:14:58,200 And of course, you don't get to see everything that's up there right now because of the way it's designed. 1578 01:14:58,200 --> 01:14:59,180 Oh, we have to scroll forever. 1579 01:14:59,300 --> 01:15:00,100 Look, when I scroll here... 1580 01:15:00,100 --> 01:15:00,400 Oh! 1581 01:15:01,060 --> 01:15:04,980 ...scroll here, only about half of my screen space is really active. 1582 01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:10,360 The other half is part of the top and part of the side are kind of being wasted, being static, 1583 01:15:10,360 --> 01:15:12,820 because they're using frames, which is usually a bad thing to do. 1584 01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:13,860 All right, let's go to another one. 1585 01:15:13,880 --> 01:15:15,380 It's fucking rubbish. 1586 01:15:15,560 --> 01:15:16,100 It's wobbling. 1587 01:15:16,100 --> 01:15:19,080 It's like a wibbly-wobbly wonder every time he moves up and down. 1588 01:15:19,180 --> 01:15:20,100 The site's going... 1589 01:15:20,100 --> 01:15:22,100 Terrible graphics. 1590 01:15:23,140 --> 01:15:24,700 Our Panda, thank you very much. 1591 01:15:25,480 --> 01:15:26,080 Sony's... 1592 01:15:26,080 --> 01:15:27,120 Sony's site? 1593 01:15:27,500 --> 01:15:28,860 Still shite, you say. 1594 01:15:29,740 --> 01:15:30,540 Interesting, right? 1595 01:15:30,600 --> 01:15:32,680 How have they not fucking sorted that one out? 1596 01:15:32,680 --> 01:15:33,680 On the USPS... 1597 01:15:33,680 --> 01:15:34,580 Right. 1598 01:15:34,580 --> 01:15:36,980 Why am I getting so aggressive about that? 1599 01:15:37,040 --> 01:15:37,480 I don't know. 1600 01:15:37,560 --> 01:15:47,440 But it's great to see these guys getting taken down a peg or two by the stew man and his brand new fucking forever friend, Jakob Nielsen. 1601 01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:48,500 Thank you very much, Barry. 1602 01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:57,200 I'm going to the Post Office or Postal Service, as they call it. And this is very fast, I should say that. Yeah. Another thing that's very good about this is the meme in web design is really... 1603 01:15:57,200 --> 01:16:09,820 A lot of love for the Post Office over there. People... Yeah. What they're there for and why am I going to the Post Office? Well, to find, well, often the Postal Rate... And it's right there in front of you. Right here in front of me. Click. Boom. You got the answer. Book. Book. Catholic. Convested. Posted. International Posted. No. How... 1604 01:16:09,820 --> 01:16:12,820 Sony Style. Thanks very much. 1605 01:16:12,820 --> 01:16:38,820 However, a bad thing is, if I want the International Posted Rate, it's going to give me a PDF file. And so wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The bad thing is... It does sound like Anna Delvey. And PDFs would just be banned from the web, except for if you want to download a big... Bit of Anna Delvey, a bit of, uh, Tommy Whistle, maybe? Yeah, yeah. And who needs it just to look at Posted Rate? Yeah, I just... Oh, hi Stu. 1606 01:16:38,820 --> 01:16:45,600 It's just really... And see, even only one page actually. What? I did not like that site. I did not. Oh, hi Stu. 1607 01:16:45,740 --> 01:17:07,820 It's at a .com. That's confusing in the first place, right? Yeah, it really should be .gov. Yeah. So they did make that mistake as well. Let's go to another one, Williams-Sonoma, which is a site I know you think is well-designed. Right. I think this is actually... Right. ...that site because they have, uh, you know, a lot of nice little clean photographs. Notice how fast they come down because they're very small and very clean. And they really give an overview of all the different things they sell. And what happens if you drill down here? 1608 01:17:07,820 --> 01:17:14,600 Let's make a paid product that someone has given Stu some money to fucking feature this, I think. Or at least Jacob has. Yakub. 1609 01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:17,600 This is Jakob's fucking company. 1610 01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:43,600 What the fuck were Pepsi thinking? Just a barrage of shite that was meaningless. 1611 01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:49,000 There was no need for it. But then you think, what is the fucking need for a website? What can they do? They can't do anything. 1612 01:17:50,080 --> 01:17:54,920 Be interested to see what they're doing now. Probably just some more giveaways. Just giveaways and fucking rubbish. 1613 01:17:55,460 --> 01:18:03,800 Like, obviously, they're comparing apples with oranges here. Pepsi don't really have anything to fucking sell unless they've... 1614 01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:12,600 What do they do? These soft drink companies, usually they have, like, promotions on the cans where they can collect tokens and get a fucking DVD... 1615 01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:15,080 Not a DVD. Back then, it probably was a DVD player. 1616 01:18:15,920 --> 01:18:18,000 But it takes two... 1617 01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:18,980 It takes Stu to tango. 1618 01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:28,440 But they're comparing Pepsi, a behemoth company, with a dinnerware company. And our team is another dinnerware company. And it's like... 1619 01:18:28,440 --> 01:18:39,340 Yeah, so the dinnerware company, they sell the pasta bowl. And it's a great usage of the graphic. It's not superfluous, blah, blah, blah. But what can fucking Pepsi do? 1620 01:18:39,440 --> 01:18:49,680 They shouldn't even be on the net. Anyway, they should just be selling sugar water and that's it. No one's gonna fucking be interested in buying more Pepsi because they were on the Pepsi.com site. 1621 01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:54,760 Kind of a great site, which is Amazon.com. Right. Amazon is actually... And explain why you think it's such a great site. 1622 01:18:54,760 --> 01:19:12,140 Connor F., thank you very much. Connor F., and Tommy Wiseau. Thank you very much. It's just really easy to find the books, which is, like, why you are there. And that's why they sell so much, because it's easier to get to. And you can do things like, you know, searches, of course, right there. And you often want to do searches. 1623 01:19:12,140 --> 01:19:14,920 Some classic Amazon. Classic Amazon. 1624 01:19:17,940 --> 01:19:29,360 I misspelled his name. Danny Gottman, rather than... Danny Gottman. Danny Gottman book. We're going to misspelled this, see what happens. And I tell you, because I actually tried it, you know, it does bring... 1625 01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:39,240 Look at how slow it is. Fucking, we have come so far. You click go on that, and we're still waiting. That's 10 minutes ago. You click that. And a lot of websites, if you misspelled it, it's gonna say... 1626 01:19:39,240 --> 01:19:42,080 Yeah, and there we go. Figured it out. Yeah. It's gonna say, no, no, we're not gonna sell to you. 1627 01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:46,120 If you were so stupid, you know, all the cute things in the world solve the user's problem. 1628 01:19:46,120 --> 01:19:50,120 Exactly. Jacob, thank you very much. Thank you very much, Jacob. That's it for a look at website design. 1629 01:19:50,120 --> 01:19:55,960 I'll be back in just a moment with my Pick of the Week, a cool way to access any website without wires. Don't go away. 1630 01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:09,260 Now for my Pick of the Week. If you're hooked on the web and the internet, you always want to have access. 1631 01:20:09,260 --> 01:20:15,300 But right now, that's not so easy. You usually need to be near a network outlet or an RJ11 jack. 1632 01:20:15,300 --> 01:20:40,960 You got that jack? Yo, I need to hook up with a jack. You know someone who's got an RJ11 jack? Yeah, hold on. I can get you hooked up. It's gonna cost you, though. How much? Five grand. Ain't got that kind of money, player. You got... You can't play. You can't... You can't pay. You can't play, dog. 1633 01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:49,000 I've tried web-enabled cell phones, but it's kind of frustrating that I finally found the perfect solution. And this is it. The Ricochet wireless modem. 1634 01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:54,000 Whoa. Ricochet has been around for a while, but it used to be a rather big, clunky thing that wasn't too reliable. 1635 01:20:54,000 --> 01:21:09,000 Clunkers, donkers. This is the newest... Jack me in, yo. ...version, small and portable at ways... Hey, yo, jack me in. ...less than a pound. There's a much bigger nationwide network... Jesus, Francis. What's the obsession with old tech demos? Says Deep... Deep Digger. 1636 01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:35,440 Deep Digger. This is not an old tech demo. It's a fucking episode of Computer Chronicles. You might have seen me watching a thousand of them before. That's pretty much it, man. Work out there and it is fast up to all... This face, look. It's just a fucking episode of Computer Chronicles, man. You fucking might have seen me watching it before. It's just that, man. It's just that, man. 1637 01:21:35,440 --> 01:21:49,020 I think you'll find it's not a tech demo. It's a fucking episode of Computer Chronicles. I've seen a thousand of them before. It's just that, man. It's just that, man. 1638 01:21:50,020 --> 01:22:05,320 128 kilobits per second. Just plug it into the USB port on your laptop and you can surf the web anywhere. In the back of a cab in an airplane while you're on the ground or sitting out by the swimming pool. The service is very good and it is a terrific solution to always having weather. 1639 01:22:05,740 --> 01:22:22,140 And hell, loyalist console device. Thank you very much. Can I get a shout out for Sienna who passed her driving test? Big, big, big shout out to Sienna there. Well done on the driving and the grieving mode. Have you ever seen the series Download the True Story of the Internet? I haven't. 1640 01:22:23,320 --> 01:22:35,860 Just to really answer the question there, Deep Digger, I know what you're getting at. The obsession would be that it's... I don't know. I don't know why. I like seeing this stuff. 1641 01:22:35,860 --> 01:22:49,000 And I was enraged at the start of this stream because we were apparently in the fucking age of unparalleled technological advancements and media. 1642 01:22:49,240 --> 01:22:52,100 Give it to me now on a whim sort of shit. 1643 01:22:52,700 --> 01:22:55,200 And it was a failure. It was an absolute fucking disaster. 1644 01:22:55,340 --> 01:23:02,660 Tried to play... I installed 75 gigabytes worth of game off of a fucking Game Pass for the Xbox and it doesn't work. 1645 01:23:02,660 --> 01:23:08,100 And you look back at this and it's clunky McDonkerson's fucking trip to Spaceland. 1646 01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:11,380 But it works. The stuff works. 1647 01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:14,500 It was slow. It was shit. Didn't look appealing. 1648 01:23:15,140 --> 01:23:16,160 But it worked. 1649 01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:19,460 And nowadays, we're just... 1650 01:23:19,460 --> 01:23:23,840 It's like a microtransaction freeway. 1651 01:23:27,180 --> 01:23:29,100 Subscriptions. It's just subscriptions. 1652 01:23:29,240 --> 01:23:29,680 Subscriptions. 1653 01:23:29,680 --> 01:23:32,040 Subscriptions. It's just... 1654 01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:34,980 I don't know. I can't... I can't... 1655 01:23:34,980 --> 01:23:37,040 Maybe I'll try and write it down. 1656 01:23:37,180 --> 01:23:37,740 But I don't know. 1657 01:23:37,840 --> 01:23:38,740 And I just... 1658 01:23:38,740 --> 01:23:41,060 There's a nostalgic element to it as well, you know. 1659 01:23:41,060 --> 01:23:45,040 But there might be a 9-11 buzz going on soon enough. 1660 01:23:45,320 --> 01:23:46,060 So... 1661 01:23:46,060 --> 01:23:49,780 Might take a shift from the technology to 9-11 at some stage. 1662 01:23:49,860 --> 01:23:51,000 But I don't think... 1663 01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:54,060 I'd like to see maybe a 9-11 episode of Computer Chronicles. 1664 01:23:54,320 --> 01:23:56,060 Maybe the one straight after it happened. 1665 01:23:56,280 --> 01:23:59,140 Web access on a full-fledged terminal like your laptop. 1666 01:23:59,580 --> 01:23:59,880 Notebook... 1667 01:23:59,880 --> 01:24:02,060 19 hijackers. 1668 01:24:02,260 --> 01:24:03,600 Compromises. Watch multimedia. 1669 01:24:04,080 --> 01:24:05,620 See full-page color displays. 1670 01:24:05,740 --> 01:24:06,440 Handle frames. 1671 01:24:07,080 --> 01:24:07,520 Utilized. 1672 01:24:07,660 --> 01:24:10,020 Flight lessons in Florida. 1673 01:24:11,620 --> 01:24:13,100 All without wires. 1674 01:24:13,200 --> 01:24:15,620 And box cutters to get on the plane. 1675 01:24:16,140 --> 01:24:18,620 Using the Ricochet wireless modem is not cheap. 1676 01:24:18,700 --> 01:24:20,240 It's about $75 a month. 1677 01:24:20,500 --> 01:24:26,220 But if you're a mobile professional and you want real, fast, wireless web access on your notebook computer, 1678 01:24:26,220 --> 01:24:29,520 it's probably worth the extra few hundred dollars a year. 1679 01:24:29,520 --> 01:24:31,760 That's it for this week's Computer Chronicles. 1680 01:24:31,760 --> 01:24:32,760 Thanks for joining us. 1681 01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:39,040 If you have questions about anything you saw on this week's show, please check out our website at ComputerChronicles.org. 1682 01:24:39,040 --> 01:24:40,720 And I hope we'll see you here again next week. 1683 01:24:40,720 --> 01:24:53,580 Computer Chronicles is made possible in part by PC2PC, the online computer migration service from PC First, 1684 01:24:53,960 --> 01:24:59,200 moving files, applications, and preferences from your old computer to your new one. 1685 01:24:59,260 --> 01:25:08,820 Additional support is provided by Upside Events, presenting the Digital Lifestyle Revolution Conference, where people and technology intersect. 1686 01:25:11,860 --> 01:25:20,800 To purchase a videotaped copy of today's program, call toll-free 1-888-310-7850. 1687 01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:24,180 Please specify the show number and the topic. 1688 01:25:24,180 --> 01:25:24,660 Bye-bye. 1689 01:25:24,660 --> 01:25:24,860 Uh, 1690 01:25:24,860 --> 01:25:26,860 uh, 1691 01:25:26,860 --> 01:25:28,860 uh, 1692 01:25:28,860 --> 01:25:30,860 uh, 1693 01:25:30,860 --> 01:25:32,860 uh, 1694 01:25:32,860 --> 01:25:33,000 uh, 1695 01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:33,240 uh, 1696 01:25:33,240 --> 01:25:35,240 uh, 1697 01:25:35,240 --> 01:25:37,240 uh, 1698 01:25:37,240 --> 01:25:39,240 uh, 1699 01:25:39,240 --> 01:25:41,240 uh, 1700 01:25:41,240 --> 01:25:43,240 uh, 1701 01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:45,240 uh, 1702 01:25:45,240 --> 01:25:47,240 uh, 1703 01:25:47,240 --> 01:26:17,220 Thank you. 1704 01:26:17,220 --> 01:26:47,200 Thank you very much there. That fella looked like he was crying in the thumbnail for travel planning. Just out of interest want to see what Pepsi are at with their outfit for tonight. Pepsi.com. How have they progressed? It's still shit. At least they've got high res enough images to be able to promote the different range of drinks. But it's still shit. 1705 01:26:47,200 --> 01:27:03,480 Still a load of crap and bumf, is it? Scroll down. Nitro. This is like, I actually don't want to get suckered into actually thinking this. I'm getting impressed now. I'm getting impressed and this was not the part of the agenda. 1706 01:27:03,480 --> 01:27:07,980 The auntie, thank you very much. And Barry and grieving Mo. Thank you very much. 1707 01:27:09,840 --> 01:27:22,600 That's like a Guinness Nitro Surge can, but it's a Pepsi. I'm just doing free advertising for the cunts now. I was trying to, I wanted to give out and to mock, but I'm actually pleasantly surprised. 1708 01:27:24,840 --> 01:27:32,040 What's this rubbish here? Look, they on the pulse follow Pepsi on socials. Let's see what their YouTube is packing. 1709 01:27:36,840 --> 01:27:37,360 Put loose. 1710 01:27:39,460 --> 01:27:42,280 This is one dirty soda Santa. Sounds. 1711 01:27:43,680 --> 01:27:52,780 This is their advert. Is it a sexy Santa Pepsi advert? I don't know if I should be even playing this for a piss take because it's like just giving them the free advertising. 1712 01:27:54,200 --> 01:28:08,160 I mean if I could just say, uh, don't fucking drink this absolute sick stuff. It's not good if you drink all this stuff. It's not good if you mix it with milk. 1713 01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:12,780 If I just say subjective remarks, it should be okay, shouldn't it? 1714 01:28:13,780 --> 01:28:18,660 Fucking dirt. Absolute dirt. Don't bother drinking this muck. 1715 01:28:18,660 --> 01:28:20,860 That is one dirty soda Santa. 1716 01:28:20,860 --> 01:28:26,860 oh pilk and cookies 1717 01:28:26,860 --> 01:28:42,860 disgusting stuff what was the other company now sony let's have a look at them sony how are they 1718 01:28:42,860 --> 01:29:01,580 fucking fair enough load upon the salt snow holes there the last of us rubbish enough 1719 01:29:08,860 --> 01:29:15,260 tom hanks as a grumpy widower whose life gets turned around in the new film a man called otto 1720 01:29:17,340 --> 01:29:25,660 john otto hey take it to the matthews what is he doing parallel parking parallel to what 1721 01:29:28,220 --> 01:29:32,380 otto has seen it all yeah try 1722 01:29:32,380 --> 01:29:40,780 we get some generic code 1723 01:29:40,860 --> 01:29:49,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1724 01:29:49,340 --> 01:29:51,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1725 01:29:51,340 --> 01:29:53,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1726 01:29:53,340 --> 01:29:55,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1727 01:29:55,340 --> 01:29:57,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1728 01:29:57,340 --> 01:29:59,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1729 01:29:59,340 --> 01:30:01,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1730 01:30:01,340 --> 01:30:03,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1731 01:30:03,340 --> 01:30:05,340 we get some generic code to the matthews what is he doing here 1732 01:30:05,340 --> 01:30:15,740 This Christmas, Tom Hanks is in a brand new movie and he's had enough, but about to throw it all in front of a screen. 1733 01:30:15,740 --> 01:30:28,240 But a lot of times a woman who doesn't let him shut his door. She's got big ideas, and he's got a cat in the box. 1734 01:30:28,240 --> 01:30:55,140 It's a brand new cat for Tom Hanks. It's the powerhouse winner movie of the year. It's the movie critics are calling to feel good hate of your mother. Tom Hanks. And a brand new woman. A garage door and a car full of kids. 1735 01:30:55,140 --> 01:31:16,880 The man called Bottle. Life is like a cat in the box. Life is like a cat in the box. You never know what cat you're gonna get. 1736 01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:25,880 Tom Hanks' bottle. This January the 13th. 1737 01:31:37,880 --> 01:31:52,060 That fucking horrible music there. Sony site is rubbish. That's a big, big thumbs down from me on Sony's site. And also a kind of middling thumb for John Otto. 1738 01:31:52,600 --> 01:32:08,440 Tom Hanks' portrayal of the drummer from Limp Bizkit as he reaches old age. It's a feel good hit of the winter. Movies and TV relive the magic of time travel with this Outlander video. No thanks. 1739 01:32:09,600 --> 01:32:17,720 Creative freedom. It's a new phone. Another new phone. Who gives a flying fuck about the new phones? They're all the same. 1740 01:32:17,720 --> 01:32:24,820 Do you know what? Those flagship new phones that they're bringing out. They're just piling them full of absolute cack. 1741 01:32:25,780 --> 01:32:34,760 Like now you can get a phone that has like a... What were they selling? Oh yeah, the iPhone. It tells you now if you've been in a car crash and died. 1742 01:32:35,420 --> 01:32:37,460 That's the feature they're fucking playing you with. 1743 01:32:39,140 --> 01:32:44,840 This phone now with the iPhone 14. We know if you've been in a car crash. 1744 01:32:48,040 --> 01:32:55,540 Get a grip. Get a fucking grip. I'm not going to pay a grand for a phone because it's just got a fucking death alert on it. 1745 01:32:57,040 --> 01:33:03,800 Presumably you're dying. You're in a car crash. People are going to see you're on a road unless you're in the middle of nowhere. 1746 01:33:05,940 --> 01:33:13,480 I can't think of any other ones but the features that these phones are coming out with now that they're trying to hook you in on. 1747 01:33:13,580 --> 01:33:14,740 Potty Bob, thank you very much. 1748 01:33:15,740 --> 01:33:18,060 Are a waste of time. Complete waste of time. 1749 01:33:19,640 --> 01:33:23,640 But they're only made to last three or four years anyway so they'll get you with that. 1750 01:33:23,740 --> 01:33:24,620 They'll get you with something. 1751 01:33:25,620 --> 01:33:28,420 Any old lolly stick to get your fucking pardon with your cash. 1752 01:33:29,380 --> 01:33:30,640 Christmas songs 2022. 1753 01:33:31,080 --> 01:33:33,240 I don't know how we got in here but we need to get out of here. 1754 01:33:33,300 --> 01:33:33,820 It's disgusting. 1755 01:33:34,300 --> 01:33:35,400 It's making me sick. 1756 01:33:37,180 --> 01:33:40,880 I don't think I want to go down this route of the travel planning online either. 1757 01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:55,980 Maybe it's worth watching the keynote for the latest Apple gadgets just to really get a fucking idea of where we're standing now with these guys. 1758 01:33:56,920 --> 01:33:59,300 In a post-jobs society. 1759 01:33:59,300 --> 01:34:02,780 Apple keynote. 1760 01:34:05,780 --> 01:34:06,660 Apple events. 1761 01:34:06,800 --> 01:34:07,780 This was three months ago. 1762 01:34:13,400 --> 01:34:14,900 Back to Hitman 3 Brooklyn. 1763 01:34:15,220 --> 01:34:15,820 I can't. 1764 01:34:15,940 --> 01:34:17,300 Hitman 3 is not even working. 1765 01:34:27,300 --> 01:34:27,900 Tim Apple. 1766 01:34:27,900 --> 01:34:27,900 Tim Apple. 1767 01:34:27,900 --> 01:34:28,780 On their own. 1768 01:34:28,780 --> 01:34:29,780 Each is industry leading. 1769 01:34:29,780 --> 01:34:29,780 Together. 1770 01:34:29,780 --> 01:34:30,780 They provide a magical experience. 1771 01:34:30,780 --> 01:34:31,720 With one tap. 1772 01:34:31,720 --> 01:34:32,780 AirPods are instantly set up. 1773 01:34:32,780 --> 01:34:32,780 And ready to work with your iPhone and Apple watch. 1774 01:34:32,780 --> 01:34:32,780 And automatic switching. 1775 01:34:32,780 --> 01:34:32,780 Allows sound. 1776 01:34:32,780 --> 01:34:33,780 To move seamlessly. 1777 01:34:33,780 --> 01:34:33,780 Between any of your Apple devices. 1778 01:34:33,780 --> 01:34:33,780 There's also incredible integration. 1779 01:34:33,780 --> 01:34:40,260 iPhone and Apple watch. 1780 01:34:40,260 --> 01:34:42,260 And ready to work with your iPhone and Apple watch. 1781 01:34:42,260 --> 01:34:43,260 And automatic switching. 1782 01:34:43,260 --> 01:34:43,740 Allows sound. 1783 01:34:43,740 --> 01:34:44,320 And automatic switching. 1784 01:34:44,320 --> 01:34:44,740 Allows sound. 1785 01:34:44,740 --> 01:34:46,240 To move seamlessly. 1786 01:34:46,240 --> 01:34:48,240 Between any of your Apple devices. 1787 01:34:48,240 --> 01:34:50,740 There's also incredible integration. 1788 01:34:50,740 --> 01:34:53,200 Between iPhone and Apple watch. 1789 01:34:53,200 --> 01:34:54,200 Together. 1790 01:34:54,200 --> 01:34:55,580 They provide the convenience. 1791 01:34:55,580 --> 01:34:57,180 Of having your notifications. 1792 01:34:57,180 --> 01:34:58,340 And messages. 1793 01:34:58,340 --> 01:34:59,480 On your wrist. 1794 01:35:00,000 --> 01:35:00,480 And available. 1795 01:35:00,740 --> 01:35:01,960 With just a glance. 1796 01:35:02,740 --> 01:35:03,380 You can seamlessly. 1797 01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:08,960 all phone calls just to know it's notifications non-stop you can set your destination on your 1798 01:35:08,960 --> 01:35:15,400 iPhone and your Apple watch will help guide you along the way and you buy any of it you know we're 1799 01:35:15,400 --> 01:35:23,180 going in the wrong direction big time constant notifications it's just not right I knew it 10 1800 01:35:23,180 --> 01:35:27,640 years ago when the iPhone when the phones came out and it was notifications for every app you 1801 01:35:27,640 --> 01:35:33,500 don't need notifications for every app you don't even need notifications for the messages 1802 01:35:33,500 --> 01:35:39,960 maybe the phone calls and the messages but then then WhatsApp has made groups and it's fucking 1803 01:35:39,960 --> 01:35:45,400 group messages and notifications for them it's just like where's the link there's no linearity in 1804 01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:52,640 thought anymore it's just a come a constant bombardment of attention grabbing bullshit 1805 01:35:52,640 --> 01:36:02,400 it doesn't stop and it's confusing very confusing and there's no way we're trapped we're fucking trapped 1806 01:36:03,260 --> 01:36:09,820 as I say to you from the from the comfort of for in a live stream on YouTube and it's probably 1807 01:36:09,820 --> 01:36:15,500 being watched on a phone I wouldn't even be able to do this live stream if I if we didn't have the 1808 01:36:15,500 --> 01:36:21,220 stuff I was giving out about so I can I can understand that but I mean it's not like I'm vying for a 1809 01:36:21,220 --> 01:36:28,300 notification for for attention with notifications all the time like shit other apps are the whole time you 1810 01:36:28,300 --> 01:36:29,160 know 1811 01:36:29,160 --> 01:36:33,660 I don't. 1812 01:36:33,660 --> 01:36:38,280 Users can even get their health and fitness data from Apple Watch and see it on the Health 1813 01:36:38,280 --> 01:36:44,120 App on their iPhone. These are just a few examples of the unique and powerful ways our 1814 01:36:44,120 --> 01:36:46,820 hardware and software are designed to work together. 1815 01:36:46,820 --> 01:36:47,820 Hardware. 1816 01:36:47,820 --> 01:36:53,360 Enhancing and enriching the experiences you have with these products. This type of integration 1817 01:36:53,360 --> 01:37:02,980 is something only Apple can do. And today we're going to make these products and these experiences. 1818 01:37:02,980 --> 01:37:03,980 This type of integration. 1819 01:37:03,980 --> 01:37:23,340 All right. Go here. It's been. Yeah, we need to go back really. It's no use looking at the 1820 01:37:23,340 --> 01:37:32,960 the most recent one. And I think I can't remember the name of the person who was asking me why. What's the obsession with the old tech videos? 1821 01:37:32,960 --> 01:37:53,320 Thank you very much. Elan's turd eye. It's no use looking at now. It's too confusing. So we need to go back to the genesis of the technology to be able to get an idea of what it was that originally made them unique and gave them a unique selling point. I know we obviously know that they make things a lot more easier and stuff like that, but it's only from 1822 01:37:53,320 --> 01:38:23,300 piecing together the clues from the past that we can kind of get an idea of where it's going. And it makes sense of some of the shit that there's fucking flogging at us now anyway. Because there's innovation, but there's also, they're locked in a battle with the constant churning need to make more and more money. So it's hard at times to really think, to take them seriously when they say this is the new innovation that's going to change things. 1823 01:38:23,300 --> 01:38:53,280 Let's have a look at this fucking iMac. 1824 01:38:53,280 --> 01:38:59,460 Because of this. I think there's a power Mac that has better resolution. 1825 01:39:06,280 --> 01:39:11,500 First surprise. Okay. Yeah, great stuff. First surprise. These were all big surprises back in the day. 1826 01:39:11,620 --> 01:39:19,860 You're familiar with our product line, how we've really focused our product line down to consumer products and pro products. 1827 01:39:19,860 --> 01:39:24,700 Now, our consumer customers usually buy consumer products, but they like some of the pro products, too. 1828 01:39:24,760 --> 01:39:30,060 Our education customers buy both, and our pro customers usually buy the pro products, but they like IMAX, too. 1829 01:39:31,320 --> 01:39:36,640 And by focusing on a very, very simple product line, we can put the A-team on everything, 1830 01:39:37,380 --> 01:39:39,880 and we can innovate a lot more, and we can innovate a lot more frequently. 1831 01:39:40,760 --> 01:39:47,840 And so the first thing we're going to do is we're going to announce a completely new family of desktop pro products. 1832 01:39:47,840 --> 01:39:51,600 Now, our current pro product is the Power Mac G3. 1833 01:39:52,240 --> 01:39:56,720 We announced it in November of 1997, 14 months ago. 1834 01:39:57,340 --> 01:39:59,680 15 million units worldwide. 1835 01:40:01,880 --> 01:40:07,680 I was guessing wrong. I way overblown that. 1836 01:40:07,900 --> 01:40:09,520 Way overblown that. 1837 01:40:09,900 --> 01:40:15,880 This product alone has been about 2% of the entire computer sales in this time period. 1838 01:40:16,980 --> 01:40:22,220 And that's generated over $3 billion of revenue for Apple in that time period. 1839 01:40:22,220 --> 01:40:24,220 It's an incredibly successful product. 1840 01:40:25,160 --> 01:40:29,780 And today, we're going to go to the next generation. 1841 01:40:29,860 --> 01:40:30,520 It's going to blow your mind. 1842 01:40:30,520 --> 01:40:31,240 So what is that? 1843 01:40:31,960 --> 01:40:37,800 We set out some goals for ourselves, four key goals for the next generation G3 product. 1844 01:40:38,060 --> 01:40:38,560 One. 1845 01:40:38,560 --> 01:40:38,900 One. 1846 01:40:38,900 --> 01:40:46,140 The first one, we want to make not only the most powerful Macintosh ever built, but the most powerful PC in the entire industry. 1847 01:40:46,140 --> 01:40:55,440 We want to give it the best graphics of the entire industry, and not just the 2D graphics that Apple's known for, but also 3D graphics. 1848 01:40:55,520 --> 01:41:00,760 We want to make it the most expandable Macintosh ever. 1849 01:41:00,760 --> 01:41:04,700 And, of course, we want the best design. 1850 01:41:06,000 --> 01:41:07,740 So, let's see what we did. 1851 01:41:08,900 --> 01:41:10,100 Take a look at our first goal. 1852 01:41:10,780 --> 01:41:11,480 Most powerful. 1853 01:41:12,140 --> 01:41:13,180 Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. 1854 01:41:15,240 --> 01:41:16,240 And... 1855 01:41:16,240 --> 01:41:16,240 And... 1856 01:41:16,240 --> 01:41:28,600 ...to use the fastest Pro Compact money can buy. 1857 01:41:28,600 --> 01:41:28,980 Mm-hmm. 1858 01:41:28,980 --> 01:41:30,880 It's called the Desk Pro EN. 1859 01:41:31,360 --> 01:41:34,620 It's got a Pentium II running at 450 megahertz. 1860 01:41:34,620 --> 01:41:36,000 Lots of megahertz. 1861 01:41:36,720 --> 01:41:37,480 And it's got the... 1862 01:41:37,480 --> 01:41:39,980 Thank you very much, Mabadoc. 1863 01:41:39,980 --> 01:41:45,160 ...just Intel architecture for memory and PCI you can get on a personal computer. 1864 01:41:45,160 --> 01:41:45,660 All right. 1865 01:41:45,660 --> 01:41:47,200 That sounds like a challenge. 1866 01:41:47,200 --> 01:41:47,720 And now... 1867 01:41:47,720 --> 01:41:49,840 We can get the right screens up there. 1868 01:41:53,840 --> 01:41:54,840 I get a cute... 1869 01:41:54,840 --> 01:41:55,840 I get a cute... 1870 01:41:55,840 --> 01:41:56,340 I... 1871 01:41:56,340 --> 01:41:57,340 Mwank. 1872 01:41:57,340 --> 01:41:57,840 Fine. 1873 01:41:59,840 --> 01:42:00,840 Okay, you ready to go again? 1874 01:42:00,840 --> 01:42:01,500 Not yet. 1875 01:42:01,500 --> 01:42:01,920 Not yet. 1876 01:42:01,920 --> 01:42:04,440 It takes me a little longer to revert. 1877 01:42:04,440 --> 01:42:05,440 Uh... 1878 01:42:05,440 --> 01:42:08,240 This is usually when I get coffee. 1879 01:42:09,520 --> 01:42:10,360 Pro camera. 1880 01:42:10,360 --> 01:42:11,360 Right? 1881 01:42:11,360 --> 01:42:14,400 This is what professionals use to get very high resolution imagery. 1882 01:42:14,400 --> 01:42:15,900 I think he, uh... 1883 01:42:15,900 --> 01:42:18,320 He upgraded the fucking wardrobe after this. 1884 01:42:18,320 --> 01:42:19,160 This, uh... 1885 01:42:19,160 --> 01:42:21,180 It's an interesting situation. 1886 01:42:22,020 --> 01:42:23,220 It's a collarless, is it? 1887 01:42:23,320 --> 01:42:25,740 Fucking Star Trek ensemble. 1888 01:42:26,960 --> 01:42:28,240 He's still packing the denim. 1889 01:42:29,220 --> 01:42:29,960 But he's, uh... 1890 01:42:29,960 --> 01:42:33,680 Going hard on the fucking top half there with the fucking... 1891 01:42:33,680 --> 01:42:34,400 It's like... 1892 01:42:35,320 --> 01:42:36,440 Kind of, uh... 1893 01:42:36,440 --> 01:42:37,400 Tuxedo colors... 1894 01:42:38,400 --> 01:42:39,140 With the denim. 1895 01:42:40,520 --> 01:42:41,820 It's a fucking heavy... 1896 01:42:41,820 --> 01:42:42,840 It's a heavy buzz. 1897 01:42:42,960 --> 01:42:43,300 Firework. 1898 01:42:43,400 --> 01:42:44,560 It's a heavy swag. 1899 01:42:44,560 --> 01:42:45,060 Firework. 1900 01:42:45,060 --> 01:42:45,920 Jack, right on the side. 1901 01:42:46,960 --> 01:42:47,560 Here's another one. 1902 01:42:47,560 --> 01:42:48,940 Canon's equivalent of that. 1903 01:42:49,240 --> 01:42:50,080 Firewire jack. 1904 01:42:50,320 --> 01:42:51,060 Right on the side. 1905 01:42:51,820 --> 01:42:52,820 Right on the side. 1906 01:42:52,820 --> 01:42:53,620 Here's a box that... 1907 01:42:56,120 --> 01:42:56,820 On, uh... 1908 01:42:56,820 --> 01:42:57,420 Pro camera. 1909 01:42:58,280 --> 01:42:58,480 Right? 1910 01:42:58,600 --> 01:43:01,080 This is what professionals use to get very high resolution imagery. 1911 01:43:01,460 --> 01:43:02,200 Firewire jack. 1912 01:43:02,280 --> 01:43:02,960 Right on the side. 1913 01:43:04,000 --> 01:43:04,580 Here's another one. 1914 01:43:04,920 --> 01:43:05,960 Canon's equivalent of that. 1915 01:43:06,300 --> 01:43:07,120 Firewire jack. 1916 01:43:07,360 --> 01:43:08,080 Right on the side. 1917 01:43:09,680 --> 01:43:10,960 Right on the side. 1918 01:43:11,740 --> 01:43:12,700 Here's a box that... 1919 01:43:12,700 --> 01:43:14,680 That Sony makes and sells for $300. 1920 01:43:15,760 --> 01:43:16,560 Firewire in. 1921 01:43:17,280 --> 01:43:17,920 Analog. 1922 01:43:18,580 --> 01:43:19,660 Audio and video. 1923 01:43:19,660 --> 01:43:20,420 In and out. 1924 01:43:20,940 --> 01:43:22,720 So if you want analog video in and out. 1925 01:43:23,280 --> 01:43:25,240 Buy one of these and hook it right up to Firewire. 1926 01:43:25,700 --> 01:43:26,640 Works perfectly. 1927 01:43:27,480 --> 01:43:28,800 Now let me show you some video. 1928 01:43:29,460 --> 01:43:30,700 I've got a camera right here. 1929 01:43:31,380 --> 01:43:33,460 And I've got two G3 computers up there. 1930 01:43:33,960 --> 01:43:35,660 And I've got a Firewire cable right here. 1931 01:43:36,900 --> 01:43:37,640 And, uh... 1932 01:43:37,640 --> 01:43:38,220 And... 1933 01:43:38,220 --> 01:43:40,380 My Firewire cable's very simple. 1934 01:43:40,480 --> 01:43:41,960 I can just plug these two things together. 1935 01:43:42,500 --> 01:43:44,120 And it'll hook that camera into that G3. 1936 01:43:44,340 --> 01:43:47,980 Takes about three seconds for the network to reconfigure itself. 1937 01:43:48,120 --> 01:43:49,140 Load all the drivers and everything. 1938 01:43:49,680 --> 01:43:50,160 And, uh... 1939 01:43:50,160 --> 01:43:52,060 So let me go ahead and just plug this in right now. 1940 01:43:52,360 --> 01:43:52,540 Boom. 1941 01:43:53,460 --> 01:43:55,360 And in a few seconds I should see video up there. 1942 01:43:55,500 --> 01:43:55,980 There I am. 1943 01:43:56,480 --> 01:43:57,080 Hello, Mom. 1944 01:43:57,700 --> 01:43:58,100 Okay. 1945 01:43:58,420 --> 01:43:59,480 And I can unplug it. 1946 01:43:59,640 --> 01:44:00,340 And it'll stop. 1947 01:44:00,880 --> 01:44:02,340 And I can plug it back in. 1948 01:44:02,780 --> 01:44:04,260 And in a few seconds it should start again. 1949 01:44:05,740 --> 01:44:06,420 Well, it should. 1950 01:44:06,500 --> 01:44:06,960 There we go. 1951 01:44:07,340 --> 01:44:07,580 Good. 1952 01:44:07,580 --> 01:44:12,520 Now, Firewire is not just a point-to-point connection. 1953 01:44:13,140 --> 01:44:14,000 It's a bus. 1954 01:44:14,320 --> 01:44:15,900 And it's a really intelligent bus. 1955 01:44:16,200 --> 01:44:18,000 So, I've got another cable here. 1956 01:44:18,060 --> 01:44:21,820 See, there's two Firewire jacks on the back of every Power Mac G3. 1957 01:44:22,460 --> 01:44:25,800 So one of them for this G3 is going to the camera right now. 1958 01:44:26,700 --> 01:44:29,260 The other one I connected to another cable. 1959 01:44:29,760 --> 01:44:32,860 Which is connected to the Firewire port of a second G3. 1960 01:44:33,200 --> 01:44:37,220 Because unlike SCSI, you can have any number of computers on your Firewire bus. 1961 01:44:37,220 --> 01:44:39,940 First, the Rage 120. 1962 01:44:40,040 --> 01:44:41,160 Oh, hold on. 1963 01:44:41,700 --> 01:44:42,620 This looks good. 1964 01:44:42,740 --> 01:44:43,660 This looks very good. 1965 01:44:45,560 --> 01:44:47,820 Here we go. 1966 01:44:50,780 --> 01:44:51,720 Thank you very much. 1967 01:44:51,720 --> 01:44:54,520 There's a quote by Henry Kissinger coming in here. 1968 01:44:54,620 --> 01:44:58,040 The big reveal of the Power Mac is here. 1969 01:44:58,920 --> 01:45:00,180 Fucking three grand luck. 1970 01:45:00,540 --> 01:45:02,140 Starting at $1,600. 1971 01:45:02,140 --> 01:45:04,140 Now, is... 1972 01:45:05,100 --> 01:45:06,140 I have a little... 1973 01:45:06,780 --> 01:45:07,340 Yeah. 1974 01:45:07,480 --> 01:45:08,300 Oh, they're going to rotate. 1975 01:45:09,260 --> 01:45:09,700 Slots. 1976 01:45:09,840 --> 01:45:10,940 All the removable drives. 1977 01:45:11,500 --> 01:45:13,280 This thing even runs with the door open. 1978 01:45:13,640 --> 01:45:15,160 It's totally accessible. 1979 01:45:16,300 --> 01:45:19,760 And when you want to close it, just button it up. 1980 01:45:20,320 --> 01:45:20,680 Lovely. 1981 01:45:20,780 --> 01:45:20,920 Okay. 1982 01:45:20,920 --> 01:45:21,600 Let's roll the video. 1983 01:45:22,240 --> 01:45:22,880 We've got a video. 1984 01:45:23,340 --> 01:45:24,080 We've got a video. 1985 01:45:24,380 --> 01:45:25,200 We've got a production. 1986 01:45:25,580 --> 01:45:31,000 Money and time and a production unit were tasked with making a video that was going to be shown at the keynote. 1987 01:45:31,300 --> 01:45:33,140 Probably even on television. 1988 01:45:33,340 --> 01:45:34,420 Probably network television. 1989 01:45:36,800 --> 01:45:37,620 It'll be good. 1990 01:45:38,140 --> 01:45:38,780 It should be good. 1991 01:45:38,820 --> 01:45:39,320 It'd look good. 1992 01:45:39,880 --> 01:45:40,300 Henry... 1993 01:45:40,300 --> 01:45:47,580 When you've got Henry Kissinger dropping the quotes on your fucking machine, isn't he the architect of much death and destruction? 1994 01:45:48,560 --> 01:45:52,780 Why are they using his quotes on stuff like the... to sell the products? 1995 01:45:53,220 --> 01:45:55,580 We've got some hot new Apple products. 1996 01:46:05,580 --> 01:46:07,180 Of love. 1997 01:46:08,540 --> 01:46:09,600 Past lots. 1998 01:46:09,600 --> 01:46:12,060 Of dollars. 1999 01:46:12,060 --> 01:46:12,380 Of dollars. 2000 01:46:12,380 --> 01:46:14,160 Oh, look. 2001 01:46:15,840 --> 01:46:19,340 Your smile can't disguise. 2002 01:46:21,420 --> 01:46:24,660 We set out to make a computer just for our pro customers. 2003 01:46:25,160 --> 01:46:28,580 From the ground up, we asked ourselves, what do they want? 2004 01:46:28,840 --> 01:46:29,460 What do they want? 2005 01:46:29,460 --> 01:46:29,680 And... 2006 01:46:29,680 --> 01:46:31,580 What do they want for expansion? 2007 01:46:31,920 --> 01:46:35,040 What do they want for features and industrial design? 2008 01:46:35,260 --> 01:46:36,600 What do they want for the whole system? 2009 01:46:36,600 --> 01:46:44,200 To try and design an object that elicits the reaction of, I really want that. 2010 01:46:45,060 --> 01:46:48,680 To try and elicit the reaction of, I really want that. 2011 01:46:48,680 --> 01:46:57,320 is enormously fun these guys are really getting us revved up they really went hard on the rev men 2012 01:46:58,600 --> 01:47:04,840 these guys are really fucking setting the vibe strong for what's what do they want for features 2013 01:47:04,840 --> 01:47:16,680 and deusual design these machines are beautiful but they kick ass these machines are beautiful 2014 01:47:16,680 --> 01:47:25,720 but they kick ass fucking gold blummonomics we're building the fastest machine we got john rubinstein 2015 01:47:25,720 --> 01:47:34,120 and really really set the fire into this in the pc industry so we start with a 400 megahertz processor 2016 01:47:34,120 --> 01:47:40,120 with a one meg backside cache up to a gigabyte of high performance memory it supports the technologies 2017 01:47:40,120 --> 01:47:46,360 that we've been trying to use now 2018 01:47:47,000 --> 01:47:52,520 look go go go go look is up your ass 2019 01:47:52,520 --> 01:48:10,680 pure fucking sensual hard rock the transition from the smooth lounge lizard jazz into the hard rock the 2020 01:48:10,680 --> 01:48:17,080 look of love they had fucking rubinstein in there laying down the foundations with some sensual 2021 01:48:17,080 --> 01:48:23,960 sweet sweet home alabama chat and then you've got fucking kevin heckman the heckmeister flipping heck 2022 01:48:24,840 --> 01:48:32,360 it's fucking kevin and he rocks he rocks solid with rr donnelly and son's company he's a real 2023 01:48:32,360 --> 01:48:38,120 fucking crew harvester and a sweet sweet jessup he knows what he's doing he does what he knows 2024 01:48:38,120 --> 01:48:41,580 Fiber channel, 64-bit PCI bus. 2025 01:48:42,180 --> 01:48:45,060 Fiber channel, 64-bit PCI bus. 2026 01:48:45,080 --> 01:48:46,540 66 megahertz PCI bus. 2027 01:48:46,720 --> 01:48:50,160 I have not seen any other machine, any other platform. 2028 01:48:50,480 --> 01:48:52,380 Yo, give it up for Bruce Chisholm. 2029 01:48:52,640 --> 01:48:54,340 Thank you very much, Schlugter Claus. 2030 01:48:54,540 --> 01:48:55,340 Beautiful stuff. 2031 01:48:55,400 --> 01:48:58,460 Give it up for fucking Schlug Chisholm here, everybody. 2032 01:49:00,940 --> 01:49:05,960 We got fucking executive vice, vice president of Adobe. 2033 01:49:05,960 --> 01:49:09,500 These guys are the fucking industry stalwarts. 2034 01:49:09,620 --> 01:49:15,080 These are fucking flagship industry leaders from an array of different companies. 2035 01:49:15,300 --> 01:49:16,260 You're talking Adobe. 2036 01:49:17,380 --> 01:49:19,100 Have that kind of performance. 2037 01:49:19,460 --> 01:49:24,040 If sex is power and the computer gives you power, there's lots of sex in these machines. 2038 01:49:27,040 --> 01:49:27,960 Let's hear it. 2039 01:49:27,980 --> 01:49:30,160 Let's hear it for the sex machine himself. 2040 01:49:30,160 --> 01:49:34,940 And if any man knows about sex, it's fucking Ramirez. 2041 01:49:34,940 --> 01:49:42,240 Ramirez, VP, vice penetration of marketing at Computerware. 2042 01:49:42,480 --> 01:49:46,520 He knows what he's talking about when it comes to this side of chat. 2043 01:49:46,900 --> 01:49:48,140 Have that kind of performance. 2044 01:49:48,500 --> 01:49:49,660 If sex is power... 2045 01:49:49,660 --> 01:49:51,440 There's something about Ramirez that you want to know. 2046 01:49:52,140 --> 01:49:54,920 All he does is blast day and night. 2047 01:49:55,180 --> 01:50:00,640 He has a sound blaster card installed in his fucking house alarm. 2048 01:50:00,640 --> 01:50:05,700 If sex is power and the computer gives you power, there's lots of sex in these machines. 2049 01:50:07,460 --> 01:50:11,760 Check that out, fucking suggestive Keith. 2050 01:50:12,540 --> 01:50:14,780 Suggestive Keith Boski at Eidos. 2051 01:50:15,400 --> 01:50:23,320 After Ramirez's sex bomb gets dropped, they decide, yeah, we'll put in the fucking Tomb Raider 2 bit with Lara. 2052 01:50:23,480 --> 01:50:30,260 And can you just keep making her fucking step backwards so it looks like she's in some way having some kind of sexual seizure, please? 2053 01:50:30,260 --> 01:50:39,460 That would tally really well with what we're trying to do in this because we do want to make the game with the computer look as sexy as fuck. 2054 01:50:39,840 --> 01:50:47,320 So it's great to get a polygonal rendered woman who looks not like a woman gyrating like that. 2055 01:50:48,320 --> 01:50:49,460 That's fucking great, man. 2056 01:50:49,520 --> 01:50:50,280 The graphics pass. 2057 01:50:50,740 --> 01:50:52,580 Games today have realistic environments. 2058 01:51:01,600 --> 01:51:04,180 We need the most advanced machines out there. 2059 01:51:04,240 --> 01:51:06,840 Yeah, Tomb Raider 2 is opening level, man. 2060 01:51:07,120 --> 01:51:09,060 The brand new ATI Rage 128. 2061 01:51:09,180 --> 01:51:11,780 Get the key, swim under there and get the fucking key, man. 2062 01:51:11,780 --> 01:51:14,500 This is the fastest graphic accelerator available. 2063 01:51:14,900 --> 01:51:16,420 And it's in the Macintosh first. 2064 01:51:16,720 --> 01:51:24,020 The Rage 128 hardware is among the best available anywhere and delivers very good performance in extremely good quality. 2065 01:51:24,440 --> 01:51:24,940 On this platform. 2066 01:51:24,940 --> 01:51:27,180 Wee-meow, wee-meow, meow-meow, meow-meow. 2067 01:51:27,260 --> 01:51:31,620 And will deliver several times better performance than anything that's been available on the Mac before. 2068 01:51:33,500 --> 01:51:35,840 With the new G3, we broke the laws of physics. 2069 01:51:35,840 --> 01:51:40,660 We actually put more features, more expandability into a smaller box. 2070 01:51:40,800 --> 01:51:46,320 So we designed it so one flip of a lever and the whole door opens, you have full accessibility into the enclosure. 2071 01:51:46,660 --> 01:51:48,240 To make it really easy to add memory. 2072 01:51:48,400 --> 01:51:50,420 To make it really easy to add I.O. cards. 2073 01:51:50,840 --> 01:51:51,940 No special tools. 2074 01:51:52,200 --> 01:51:53,020 It's all right there. 2075 01:51:54,260 --> 01:51:55,380 Handles to pick it up. 2076 01:51:55,500 --> 01:51:56,800 A door to get inside. 2077 01:51:57,060 --> 01:51:57,960 What a great thought. 2078 01:51:58,060 --> 01:51:59,180 And it took Apple to do it. 2079 01:52:00,100 --> 01:52:01,340 Handles to pick it up. 2080 01:52:01,700 --> 01:52:02,800 Handles to pick it up. 2081 01:52:02,940 --> 01:52:04,180 This was the sex machine. 2082 01:52:04,460 --> 01:52:04,820 Ramirez. 2083 01:52:06,000 --> 01:52:07,500 It kind of sounds like a... 2084 01:52:08,880 --> 01:52:10,200 I don't know, like a kind of... 2085 01:52:10,200 --> 01:52:13,680 I thought it was going to be like an old lady that was talking here. 2086 01:52:13,840 --> 01:52:14,900 A door to get inside. 2087 01:52:15,180 --> 01:52:15,400 What... 2088 01:52:15,400 --> 01:52:16,220 It's all right there. 2089 01:52:17,440 --> 01:52:18,560 Handles to pick it up. 2090 01:52:18,680 --> 01:52:19,960 A door to get inside. 2091 01:52:20,160 --> 01:52:21,120 What a great thought. 2092 01:52:21,200 --> 01:52:22,320 And it took Apple to do it. 2093 01:52:22,680 --> 01:52:25,160 The professional is going to lust after the I.O. capacity. 2094 01:52:25,560 --> 01:52:26,880 The thing has got every... 2095 01:52:26,880 --> 01:52:28,900 Going to lust after it, is it? 2096 01:52:29,620 --> 01:52:37,760 They were briefed on this anyway to inject all their diatribes with some kind of sexual innuendos and sexual language. 2097 01:52:38,580 --> 01:52:40,940 The professional is going to lust after the I.O. capacity. 2098 01:52:41,560 --> 01:52:42,660 The thing has got every... 2099 01:52:42,660 --> 01:52:45,720 Just guys that want to have sex with the computers. 2100 01:52:45,880 --> 01:52:46,220 That's it. 2101 01:52:46,420 --> 01:52:47,820 Ultra ATA 33. 2102 01:52:48,280 --> 01:52:50,740 Oh, I thought about the opening of the door. 2103 01:52:51,560 --> 01:52:52,040 USB. 2104 01:52:53,000 --> 01:52:53,960 What's inside? 2105 01:52:54,300 --> 01:52:55,260 Seeing inside it. 2106 01:52:55,320 --> 01:52:56,220 Getting inside it. 2107 01:52:56,220 --> 01:52:58,420 And really fucking changing things up. 2108 01:52:58,700 --> 01:53:00,540 Fucking rolling the RAM into it. 2109 01:53:00,620 --> 01:53:02,420 Throwing a few fucking RAM sticks into there. 2110 01:53:02,840 --> 01:53:04,040 You better believe that shit. 2111 01:53:04,120 --> 01:53:04,920 Make it with Ethernet. 2112 01:53:05,140 --> 01:53:06,320 All on the motherboard now. 2113 01:53:06,500 --> 01:53:09,980 If you want the future of I.O., it's USB and Firewire. 2114 01:53:10,180 --> 01:53:11,800 You don't have to worry about cable links. 2115 01:53:11,900 --> 01:53:12,660 You don't have to worry... 2116 01:53:12,660 --> 01:53:13,920 Got the Crane Meister. 2117 01:53:14,060 --> 01:53:14,920 ...terminations. 2118 01:53:15,380 --> 01:53:17,440 You don't have to worry about device select addresses. 2119 01:53:17,880 --> 01:53:19,280 You just plug it in and it works. 2120 01:53:19,600 --> 01:53:21,580 I mean, 127 devices on USB. 2121 01:53:22,200 --> 01:53:24,420 63 devices on Firewire. 2122 01:53:24,700 --> 01:53:25,940 And it's the easiest thing in the world. 2123 01:53:25,940 --> 01:53:28,660 I just take this camera with a simple Firewire cable. 2124 01:53:28,820 --> 01:53:30,540 I plug it into my Power Mac G3. 2125 01:53:31,060 --> 01:53:33,240 And digitally take that video onto my computer. 2126 01:53:33,660 --> 01:53:34,100 And bam. 2127 01:53:34,580 --> 01:53:35,660 I'm editing video and I'm... 2128 01:53:35,660 --> 01:53:37,280 Final Cut Pro PD150. 2129 01:53:37,500 --> 01:53:37,920 ...on my way. 2130 01:53:38,860 --> 01:53:43,720 It's got to be utterly compelling performance in terms of raw speed and power. 2131 01:53:44,080 --> 01:53:47,080 But also these have to be objects that are totally seductive. 2132 01:53:47,740 --> 01:53:52,260 We designed a new family of Apple Studio displays to go along with the new G3. 2133 01:53:52,820 --> 01:53:55,940 There's a 21-inch monitor that's the dream publisher's monitor. 2134 01:53:56,320 --> 01:54:00,980 Trinitron, color management, digital color calibration, USB hub for peripherals. 2135 01:54:01,440 --> 01:54:04,100 A 17-inch monitor that's the best quality in the business. 2136 01:54:04,340 --> 01:54:05,820 And still very affordable. 2137 01:54:06,520 --> 01:54:08,880 And the award-winning 15-inch Apple Studio display. 2138 01:54:09,600 --> 01:54:11,840 The stands float the displays. 2139 01:54:12,120 --> 01:54:13,100 They put air underneath. 2140 01:54:13,300 --> 01:54:14,900 They make them appear lighter. 2141 01:54:15,380 --> 01:54:17,440 Rock solid and crisp and sharp. 2142 01:54:17,660 --> 01:54:18,600 And you're just in love. 2143 01:54:20,180 --> 01:54:21,820 We had to make a powerful machine. 2144 01:54:21,960 --> 01:54:23,900 We had to give customers tremendous features. 2145 01:54:24,100 --> 01:54:25,020 We had to make it gorgeous. 2146 01:54:25,660 --> 01:54:27,340 We also had to make it really affordable. 2147 01:54:27,600 --> 01:54:32,420 When customers see the new technology and they see the new design, they're going to be all over these machines. 2148 01:54:32,600 --> 01:54:33,180 You're going to see this thing. 2149 01:54:33,220 --> 01:54:33,780 They're going to go nuts. 2150 01:54:34,200 --> 01:54:35,000 They're going to want it. 2151 01:54:35,180 --> 01:54:37,420 Building the fastest machines in the industry is great. 2152 01:54:37,960 --> 01:54:38,380 So it's what... 2153 01:54:38,380 --> 01:54:38,880 They're going to go nuts. 2154 01:54:39,520 --> 01:54:39,960 They're going to want... 2155 01:54:39,960 --> 01:54:42,340 They see the new design. 2156 01:54:42,680 --> 01:54:44,060 They're going to be all over these machines. 2157 01:54:44,260 --> 01:54:44,840 You're going to see this thing. 2158 01:54:44,880 --> 01:54:45,440 They're going to go nuts. 2159 01:54:45,860 --> 01:54:46,660 They're going to want it. 2160 01:54:46,860 --> 01:54:49,080 Building the fastest machines in the industry is great. 2161 01:54:49,600 --> 01:54:50,620 It's what drives us. 2162 01:54:50,760 --> 01:54:51,860 We're putting them right into production. 2163 01:54:52,140 --> 01:54:52,860 It is gorgeous. 2164 01:54:53,120 --> 01:54:53,620 That's right. 2165 01:54:53,700 --> 01:54:55,560 Now we don't have to hide the computer anymore. 2166 01:54:55,940 --> 01:54:57,820 A computer absolutely can be sexy. 2167 01:54:58,440 --> 01:54:59,320 It's... 2168 01:54:59,320 --> 01:55:00,420 Fucking hell. 2169 01:55:01,920 --> 01:55:02,840 Yeah, it can. 2170 01:55:03,840 --> 01:55:06,400 Just fucked that one up and they left it in the edit. 2171 01:55:08,260 --> 01:55:09,020 It's... 2172 01:55:09,020 --> 01:55:12,560 Computer absolutely can be sexy. 2173 01:55:12,560 --> 01:55:13,560 It's... 2174 01:55:13,560 --> 01:55:17,600 Yeah, it can. 2175 01:55:18,560 --> 01:55:20,100 They used the duff take. 2176 01:55:21,740 --> 01:55:24,360 They probably thought, oh yeah, there's some nice emotion in that. 2177 01:55:24,480 --> 01:55:25,220 Actually, leave that in. 2178 01:55:25,260 --> 01:55:25,700 Yeah, it's nice. 2179 01:55:25,780 --> 01:55:26,580 I like the way he does it. 2180 01:55:26,580 --> 01:55:27,360 He laughs like that. 2181 01:55:27,420 --> 01:55:28,580 I think that's, yeah, leave that in. 2182 01:55:28,660 --> 01:55:29,280 That works. 2183 01:55:29,360 --> 01:55:29,700 It works. 2184 01:55:29,780 --> 01:55:30,080 It works. 2185 01:55:30,160 --> 01:55:30,460 It works. 2186 01:55:38,400 --> 01:55:38,720 Twisted. 2187 01:55:38,720 --> 01:55:55,560 Twisted. 2188 01:55:55,560 --> 01:56:00,500 Don't ever go. 2189 01:56:00,640 --> 01:56:02,740 Don't ever go. 2190 01:56:03,340 --> 01:56:05,080 Don't ever go. 2191 01:56:05,680 --> 01:56:07,820 Don't ever go. 2192 01:56:10,320 --> 01:56:10,840 What? 2193 01:56:11,560 --> 01:56:12,820 Did you hear it in the audience then? 2194 01:56:12,900 --> 01:56:15,060 Someone fucking lost the run of themselves. 2195 01:56:16,060 --> 01:56:16,240 No. 2196 01:56:16,240 --> 01:56:17,240 Oh. 2197 01:56:22,920 --> 01:56:23,940 I hear it. 2198 01:56:24,080 --> 01:56:25,420 It was faint. 2199 01:56:25,420 --> 01:56:28,920 Thank you very much, Nabi Gobbler. 2200 01:56:33,100 --> 01:56:37,720 If you're interested, I brought along, there's two television commercials we're going to run. 2201 01:56:38,020 --> 01:56:38,400 Oh, yeah. 2202 01:56:38,400 --> 01:56:39,460 On the Power Mac G3. 2203 01:56:40,040 --> 01:56:41,220 And I'll show them to you if you'd like. 2204 01:56:42,060 --> 01:56:44,320 Fucking hit us with that shit, Stevie boy. 2205 01:56:44,560 --> 01:56:45,180 Stevie Wonder. 2206 01:56:46,060 --> 01:56:46,280 Okay. 2207 01:56:46,720 --> 01:56:51,240 Now, they both got the same video, but there's just different messages in each one. 2208 01:56:51,480 --> 01:56:52,700 So let me roll them both for you. 2209 01:56:52,700 --> 01:56:54,060 I'd like to see which one you like better. 2210 01:56:54,580 --> 01:56:57,000 Go ahead and run Secret Door and Open Minded. 2211 01:56:57,360 --> 01:56:57,820 Wow. 2212 01:56:58,040 --> 01:56:58,880 Secret Door. 2213 01:57:03,580 --> 01:57:05,440 They fucked that up at the beginning of the day. 2214 01:57:12,380 --> 01:57:16,740 You can wait until year's end to cross the bridge to the 21st century. 2215 01:57:17,560 --> 01:57:21,260 Or you can cross over now through a secret side door. 2216 01:57:22,060 --> 01:57:24,940 Presenting the all-new Power Macintosh G3. 2217 01:57:24,940 --> 01:57:42,400 It's not only the world's most powerful personal computer. 2218 01:57:42,400 --> 01:57:52,720 It's also the most open-minded. 2219 01:57:52,720 --> 01:57:59,840 Presenting the all-new Power Macintosh G3. 2220 01:58:07,840 --> 01:58:09,680 What's that music called again? 2221 01:58:09,780 --> 01:58:10,720 Is it fucking... 2222 01:58:11,500 --> 01:58:15,480 Zara Thruster, is it? 2223 01:58:15,480 --> 01:58:18,040 Yeah. 2224 01:58:18,040 --> 01:58:18,040 Yeah. 2225 01:58:18,040 --> 01:58:48,020 Thank you. 2226 01:58:48,020 --> 01:59:14,840 You've waited all your life to finally have sex with your computer. And now you can. The iMac Power Mac G3 with the functional opening door sight lets you go right in and have full sex. Macintosh, fuck different. 2227 01:59:14,840 --> 01:59:32,220 You've waited 125 years to fuck your technology. Do you want to wait any longer? Or do you want to fuck right in now? 2228 01:59:36,220 --> 01:59:47,100 Buy a Mac G3 slide door sight hatch fuck technology. Bellows you to slide right in. Starting with $1,500. 2229 02:00:00,220 --> 02:00:03,400 Clapathon, clapathon. First one clap please. 2230 02:00:06,400 --> 02:00:06,960 Okay. 2231 02:00:08,860 --> 02:00:09,960 Second one clap. 2232 02:00:10,400 --> 02:00:12,720 He's getting them to judge each one by clapping. 2233 02:00:15,820 --> 02:00:16,960 Okay, thank you. 2234 02:00:17,760 --> 02:00:20,960 They chose, they chose the second one. The dirty bastards. 2235 02:00:21,420 --> 02:00:25,540 We've been laboring on this for a long time and we are so happy with how it came out. 2236 02:00:25,800 --> 02:00:28,560 We've got a bunch of them in the booth and please go check them out. 2237 02:00:28,800 --> 02:00:30,900 And that was the first surprise for today. 2238 02:00:33,000 --> 02:00:33,500 Okay. 2239 02:00:33,500 --> 02:00:33,500 Okay. 2240 02:00:33,500 --> 02:00:33,500 So... 2241 02:00:33,500 --> 02:00:34,000 Ugh. 2242 02:00:34,000 --> 02:00:45,880 I think it's Computer Chronicles or bust and as an X-mas buyer's guy from 1990, I'm a little bit, uh... 2243 02:00:45,880 --> 02:00:51,480 Not sure whether or not this is gonna have the pace that will sustain us through half an hour. 2244 02:00:52,020 --> 02:00:54,680 With it being 1990. But it does have Paul Schindler. 2245 02:00:55,480 --> 02:00:57,220 And he is wearing a Santa's hat. 2246 02:00:57,820 --> 02:01:05,880 We might have to fucking ditch this one if it gets a little bit shit and, uh, just get out of there nice and quick in this Hugh Chafe way. 2247 02:01:16,140 --> 02:01:16,660 There you go. 2248 02:01:16,860 --> 02:01:17,740 Thank you. Use yourself. 2249 02:01:17,860 --> 02:01:18,340 Thanks a lot. 2250 02:01:19,000 --> 02:01:22,720 Have we seen this one or did I cheat on you with it again? 2251 02:01:23,160 --> 02:01:24,880 Because I think I've seen the beginning of this. 2252 02:01:24,880 --> 02:01:27,280 I think I've seen this. 2253 02:01:27,500 --> 02:01:29,240 First thing you do is buy the Christmas tree. 2254 02:01:29,920 --> 02:01:33,040 The first thing you do is buy the Christmas tree. 2255 02:01:33,700 --> 02:01:35,020 Thank you very much, Potty Bob. 2256 02:01:35,900 --> 02:01:37,040 And there's a saw here. 2257 02:01:37,120 --> 02:01:38,140 That's the easy part. 2258 02:01:38,240 --> 02:01:43,080 Even at a place like this where you have to saw it down yourself, the next step is buying the Christmas presents. 2259 02:01:43,200 --> 02:01:47,640 And sometimes that's not so easy, especially if you're trying to find a gift for a computer nut. 2260 02:01:47,800 --> 02:01:53,200 Well, today we'll take a look at some great Christmas gift ideas for the computer user on your shopping list. 2261 02:01:54,120 --> 02:01:54,820 Computer nut. 2262 02:01:54,820 --> 02:01:59,500 Today we'll take not so easy, especially if you're trying to find a gift for a computer nut. 2263 02:02:00,140 --> 02:02:01,200 What's going on back here? 2264 02:02:01,540 --> 02:02:02,360 Or they're getting trees. 2265 02:02:02,680 --> 02:02:11,160 Well, today we'll take a look at some great Christmas gift ideas for the computer user on your shopping list on this special holiday edition of the Computer Chronicles. 2266 02:02:11,160 --> 02:02:29,280 The Computer Chronicles has made possible in the PC. 2267 02:02:29,480 --> 02:02:30,480 I'm Stuart Schiffen. 2268 02:02:30,560 --> 02:02:32,100 With me this week is Paul Schindler. 2269 02:02:32,560 --> 02:02:33,800 Ah, beautiful stuff. 2270 02:02:34,240 --> 02:02:34,780 Paul Meshkel. 2271 02:02:34,860 --> 02:02:35,440 Thank you very much. 2272 02:02:35,500 --> 02:02:36,100 Paul Meshkel. 2273 02:02:36,200 --> 02:02:36,580 That's it. 2274 02:02:36,620 --> 02:02:37,880 There was the Tommy Schlug special. 2275 02:02:38,000 --> 02:02:39,120 Tom, are you there, Tom? 2276 02:02:40,580 --> 02:02:40,980 Hello. 2277 02:02:41,280 --> 02:02:42,020 What's the shorty? 2278 02:02:42,140 --> 02:02:42,520 How are you? 2279 02:02:43,700 --> 02:02:44,820 Not too bad, Tom. 2280 02:02:44,900 --> 02:02:47,460 Look, we were actually wanting to get you on the line here. 2281 02:02:47,560 --> 02:02:48,560 See what you think about this. 2282 02:02:48,640 --> 02:02:50,580 Someone has been jacking your swag. 2283 02:02:51,420 --> 02:02:51,660 Eh? 2284 02:02:53,260 --> 02:03:00,620 Your swag, your look, your style, it's been fucking replicated in mainstream media circles. 2285 02:03:01,940 --> 02:03:02,740 What's going on? 2286 02:03:03,960 --> 02:03:04,920 Paul Meshkel. 2287 02:03:05,480 --> 02:03:09,920 He's rocking the fucking Tommy Schlug style big time and it's gone Gucci. 2288 02:03:10,160 --> 02:03:12,740 It's gone fucking legit fashionista. 2289 02:03:12,900 --> 02:03:14,680 This is big time Schlug. 2290 02:03:14,820 --> 02:03:19,460 They've taken what you've made and done and they've gone to town. 2291 02:03:19,660 --> 02:03:20,700 They've gone to space with it. 2292 02:03:22,720 --> 02:03:23,460 What do you mean? 2293 02:03:24,860 --> 02:03:26,040 Peanuts and crisps, is it? 2294 02:03:28,300 --> 02:03:29,480 We've got to check this out. 2295 02:03:29,560 --> 02:03:29,920 I see it. 2296 02:03:29,940 --> 02:03:31,580 I hope I can find the fucking thing. 2297 02:03:32,480 --> 02:03:35,060 Paul Meshkel jeans. 2298 02:03:36,280 --> 02:03:36,720 Jeans. 2299 02:03:41,260 --> 02:03:41,700 Fuck. 2300 02:03:47,100 --> 02:03:49,100 Unless it was a Photoshop I seen. 2301 02:03:49,100 --> 02:03:56,180 You're going to have to bear with us there, Tom. 2302 02:03:56,220 --> 02:03:56,800 I'll find it. 2303 02:03:56,860 --> 02:03:59,080 We'll just run the computer crans for a moment. 2304 02:04:00,080 --> 02:04:00,400 Okay. 2305 02:04:00,980 --> 02:04:02,000 I'm sure here anyway. 2306 02:04:02,800 --> 02:04:04,200 Looking forward to seeing what you've got. 2307 02:04:04,300 --> 02:04:06,560 Paul it's Christmas time as I can see by your outfit. 2308 02:04:06,880 --> 02:04:09,200 Christmas time parents think about what to get for the children of course. 2309 02:04:09,300 --> 02:04:11,240 And one thing you might think about is an encyclopedia. 2310 02:04:11,360 --> 02:04:15,820 The old fashioned version 26 volumes that take up a whole bookcase isn't the way you do it in the computer era. 2311 02:04:15,900 --> 02:04:19,980 What I have up here is the new Compton's electronic encyclopedia on CD-ROM. 2312 02:04:20,320 --> 02:04:24,140 What's great about it is not only in a CD-ROM, but it's meant for a seven-year-old child. 2313 02:04:24,540 --> 02:04:27,720 So even if you don't know how to use the encyclopedia, just ask it a question. 2314 02:04:27,980 --> 02:04:30,760 For instance, I put on a question, is St. Nicholas the same as Santa Claus? 2315 02:04:30,920 --> 02:04:32,720 Because I couldn't find St. Nick in the encyclopedia. 2316 02:04:32,920 --> 02:04:34,540 Thank you very much, Gav, for that. 2317 02:04:34,680 --> 02:04:35,680 And Paul Meshkel and Paul Meshkel. 2318 02:04:35,680 --> 02:04:37,120 Thank you very much. 2319 02:04:37,320 --> 02:04:40,580 I simply click on it, and lo and behold, there is the article on Santa Claus. 2320 02:04:40,660 --> 02:04:42,360 It says, of course, it's the same thing as St. Nicholas. 2321 02:04:42,360 --> 02:04:42,920 Santa Claus. 2322 02:04:42,920 --> 02:04:45,680 I can click through the three pages of this particular article. 2323 02:04:45,820 --> 02:04:49,780 When I get to the end, it says, by the way, there's a cross-reference article over here called Christmas. 2324 02:04:49,940 --> 02:04:53,780 And I can just click on that cross-reference icon, and boom, there's the other article. 2325 02:04:54,120 --> 02:04:59,960 And if I just page through one or two pages of this article, I can see there's actually a photo. 2326 02:05:00,100 --> 02:05:00,860 It shows me an icon. 2327 02:05:01,000 --> 02:05:02,380 There's a photo that goes with the article. 2328 02:05:02,500 --> 02:05:06,600 I click on the icon, and it pulls up a color photo that comes with that story. 2329 02:05:06,600 --> 02:05:09,320 It's a really neat way for a kid to get to learn and play with the encyclopedia. 2330 02:05:09,960 --> 02:05:14,360 I want to ask you, is a seven-year-old child too young to buy a computer for at Christmas time? 2331 02:05:14,760 --> 02:05:15,540 Absolutely not. 2332 02:05:15,740 --> 02:05:21,920 As a matter of fact, I have a six-year-old and a nine-year-old, and they both started using computers when they were five. 2333 02:05:22,200 --> 02:05:23,320 The key is not the hard... 2334 02:05:23,320 --> 02:05:24,320 Yeah, sorry, Tom. 2335 02:05:24,740 --> 02:05:26,340 I've actually got the photo here. 2336 02:05:26,420 --> 02:05:26,920 I can't... 2337 02:05:26,920 --> 02:05:28,100 I don't know where it's come from. 2338 02:05:28,200 --> 02:05:31,600 I've just seen it pop up there in a kind of a Tommy Schlug alert. 2339 02:05:32,440 --> 02:05:33,180 We've got it here. 2340 02:05:33,220 --> 02:05:34,320 I'm not sure if you're there, are you? 2341 02:05:36,580 --> 02:05:37,440 Yeah, I'm here. 2342 02:05:37,540 --> 02:05:38,120 What's the story? 2343 02:05:38,220 --> 02:05:38,920 What's going on? 2344 02:05:38,920 --> 02:05:41,480 What have you got for us there? 2345 02:05:42,580 --> 02:05:50,160 Yeah, it seems to be Paul Meschkel's really gone to town on your styled pair of Louis Vuitton washed cotton denim wavy trousers. 2346 02:05:51,160 --> 02:05:52,660 You're coming through on my line there. 2347 02:05:53,520 --> 02:05:57,420 Yeah, it's a Louis Vuitton washed denim wavy trousers. 2348 02:05:57,540 --> 02:05:58,120 They're insane. 2349 02:05:59,580 --> 02:05:59,940 Show me. 2350 02:05:59,940 --> 02:06:00,100 Show me. 2351 02:06:00,100 --> 02:06:18,840 What? 2352 02:06:19,840 --> 02:06:20,980 What's going on there? 2353 02:06:21,980 --> 02:06:23,760 Well, it's Paul Meschkel, isn't it? 2354 02:06:23,820 --> 02:06:24,500 And he's... 2355 02:06:24,500 --> 02:06:25,500 Or is it Paul Meschkel? 2356 02:06:25,560 --> 02:06:26,520 I think it's someone else. 2357 02:06:26,680 --> 02:06:27,280 I'm not sure. 2358 02:06:27,360 --> 02:06:30,340 But look at the fucking style, Jack, that's gone on there, man. 2359 02:06:31,700 --> 02:06:32,220 That's my... 2360 02:06:32,220 --> 02:06:33,040 That's my style. 2361 02:06:34,640 --> 02:06:35,360 They can't... 2362 02:06:35,360 --> 02:06:36,320 How much are they cash? 2363 02:06:36,340 --> 02:06:37,380 How much are they selling for? 2364 02:06:37,440 --> 02:06:43,360 I think 1,500 euros. 2365 02:06:45,860 --> 02:06:48,460 1,500 euros for a pair of those bad boys. 2366 02:06:49,300 --> 02:06:52,620 Might need to focus the camera there. 2367 02:06:57,500 --> 02:06:59,660 It's a fucking hard buzz, actually. 2368 02:06:59,760 --> 02:07:00,260 We have to see one. 2369 02:07:17,760 --> 02:07:20,260 I don't know if you can see those shoes there. 2370 02:07:21,420 --> 02:07:22,560 Yeah, I can see them. 2371 02:07:22,560 --> 02:07:26,700 It's a complete rip-off of my style. 2372 02:07:26,700 --> 02:07:28,600 And I don't like it. 2373 02:07:29,780 --> 02:07:33,180 And there's going to be letters sent out in the post. 2374 02:07:34,320 --> 02:07:34,820 Ten a penny. 2375 02:07:42,220 --> 02:07:43,520 What do you think of that, Tom? 2376 02:07:43,580 --> 02:07:45,300 Are you upset by that, or what? 2377 02:07:46,300 --> 02:07:50,640 Well, I'm glad to see that the style is being represented out there in the major leagues. 2378 02:07:50,640 --> 02:07:56,380 But look at those wavy, wavy scenarios. 2379 02:07:56,380 --> 02:07:57,800 It's a crazy bit of business. 2380 02:07:58,880 --> 02:08:00,460 And those shoes as well. 2381 02:08:01,380 --> 02:08:02,440 They're on another level. 2382 02:08:04,480 --> 02:08:06,060 On another level entirely. 2383 02:08:07,000 --> 02:08:09,060 Could you get a close-up of those shoes, please? 2384 02:08:25,060 --> 02:08:27,980 That's the best I could do at the moment, Tom. 2385 02:08:31,640 --> 02:08:32,320 That's insane. 2386 02:08:33,480 --> 02:08:34,340 That's insane. 2387 02:08:37,620 --> 02:08:39,360 Could you send that picture to me, please? 2388 02:08:39,400 --> 02:08:41,000 I need to keep that as a brief. 2389 02:08:44,780 --> 02:08:46,760 You'd want to get yourself a pair of those anyway. 2390 02:08:46,760 --> 02:08:47,620 The wavy jabs. 2391 02:08:47,760 --> 02:08:48,600 Wavy boot cuts. 2392 02:08:49,920 --> 02:08:51,940 I'm not paying €1500 for them. 2393 02:08:53,400 --> 02:09:01,140 You could just buy a pair of oversized ones and then get them fucking tailored in or take it to a seamstress who can do the fucking job on it. 2394 02:09:04,360 --> 02:09:05,620 What about those shoes? 2395 02:09:05,620 --> 02:09:07,460 They're electric. 2396 02:09:08,020 --> 02:09:09,600 They are electric Ireland. 2397 02:09:10,180 --> 02:09:10,800 Look at that. 2398 02:09:12,800 --> 02:09:17,400 They're like leather chairs with the dimples on it or whatever you call those. 2399 02:09:17,620 --> 02:09:19,260 It's like red leather. 2400 02:09:26,100 --> 02:09:27,340 Crazy bit of business. 2401 02:09:29,160 --> 02:09:36,340 And Schindler's face there is exactly how I feel when compromised with that imagery. 2402 02:09:36,520 --> 02:09:37,660 It's really the software. 2403 02:09:37,660 --> 02:09:42,560 There's a lot of good educational and game software for both the PC and the Macintosh. 2404 02:09:43,280 --> 02:09:45,960 Personally, I think they don't need their own. 2405 02:09:46,080 --> 02:09:47,920 If you have one at home already, they can share it. 2406 02:09:48,140 --> 02:09:51,020 I don't think they need their own until maybe they're 11 or 12 years old. 2407 02:09:51,200 --> 02:09:55,840 But with the prices the way they are these days, for $750, you can get a fully functional PC. 2408 02:09:56,440 --> 02:09:57,980 It's expensive, but I think it's worth it. 2409 02:09:58,400 --> 02:09:58,820 Okay, Paul. 2410 02:09:58,820 --> 02:09:58,820 Okay, Paul. 2411 02:09:58,820 --> 02:10:04,300 Today we're going to look at a lot of neat computer presents, both hardware and software for children of all ages, as they say. 2412 02:10:04,500 --> 02:10:05,220 Okay, Paul. 2413 02:10:05,220 --> 02:10:10,300 Now, one of the troubles with gadgets that you buy for Christmas is some of them may end up buried in a closet at the end of one week. 2414 02:10:10,500 --> 02:10:14,340 But the good news is that the best of those end up in the Museum of American Heritage. 2415 02:10:14,480 --> 02:10:17,440 It's a kind of old-age home for antiquated technology. 2416 02:10:17,900 --> 02:10:19,180 Heritage Museum. 2417 02:10:19,180 --> 02:10:21,160 And we need a visit to the museum in Palo Alto, California. 2418 02:10:26,360 --> 02:10:32,500 The Museum of American Heritage is a world far removed from that of microprocessors and floppy disks. 2419 02:10:33,120 --> 02:10:34,420 Operating systems here are... 2420 02:10:34,420 --> 02:10:38,100 Richard Maidley, Shoplift and Silage, thank you very much for the tips and you're filthy. 2421 02:10:38,240 --> 02:10:38,900 Thank you very much. 2422 02:10:38,980 --> 02:10:40,980 The telephone for tomorrow, guys. 2423 02:10:41,140 --> 02:10:45,980 ...are still of the manual variety, and memory is not measured in bytes, but in time. 2424 02:10:46,620 --> 02:10:50,600 This California museum specializes in machines from the Industrial Revolution. 2425 02:10:51,220 --> 02:10:51,360 Machines... 2426 02:10:51,920 --> 02:10:52,940 Analog dreams. 2427 02:10:52,940 --> 02:10:56,340 ...that in their own time were nonetheless considered revolutionary. 2428 02:10:56,340 --> 02:11:02,140 Among the museum's prized possessions is this knitting machine dating from the late 1800s. 2429 02:11:02,640 --> 02:11:05,500 Small-scale entrepreneurs could buy it for just $25. 2430 02:11:06,200 --> 02:11:12,300 The museum's curator says the exhibit shows us what life was like before the advent of electronics and computers. 2431 02:11:12,300 --> 02:11:12,300 Wow. 2432 02:11:12,300 --> 02:11:14,540 Imagine doing your toast in that. 2433 02:11:14,800 --> 02:11:15,800 The intent of it is to... 2434 02:11:15,800 --> 02:11:18,600 You'll be a long time waiting on the schle, Don. 2435 02:11:18,600 --> 02:11:24,040 ...show what went on before, as far back as we can go. 2436 02:11:24,040 --> 02:11:31,980 That is, we know that a computer is today, but what happened in the last 50 or 100 years to lead up to the computer. 2437 02:11:33,200 --> 02:11:34,040 It didn't just happen. 2438 02:11:34,040 --> 02:11:37,000 It didn't just happen. The computer didn't just happen to flash into place. 2439 02:11:37,000 --> 02:11:48,160 But not all of the items on display were technological successes. There are some prominent losers, like the minion, originally billed as an easy-to-use alternative to early typewriters. 2440 02:11:48,160 --> 02:11:57,100 It's a bit like the library detective in Seinfeld, who I think sadly passed there the last couple of months or two or three months, I'm not sure. 2441 02:11:57,100 --> 02:11:59,120 ...the Minion. 2442 02:11:59,320 --> 02:12:03,000 ...the letter, and then pushed a lever to print one letter at a time. 2443 02:12:03,720 --> 02:12:05,760 You got one of those Minions in the gap, have you? 2444 02:12:06,120 --> 02:12:13,980 But despite the occasional inventive flop, Livermore says that the museum's visitors leave with a better appreciation of today's technology. 2445 02:12:13,980 --> 02:12:24,160 That's what we're trying to do. Making it so that people don't forget, or can't forget. They can come here and remind themselves of how things work. 2446 02:12:24,160 --> 02:12:25,160 Never forget. 2447 02:12:25,160 --> 02:12:28,160 For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Maria Gabriel. 2448 02:12:28,160 --> 02:12:32,620 It's a PC Christmas. 2449 02:12:42,620 --> 02:12:49,920 We're happy to have Jan Lewis joining us for this special holiday show, and during this first segment, when we're looking at PC computer products, we have Chris Barr, West Coast editor. 2450 02:12:49,920 --> 02:12:53,760 Is that a ponytail on Chris Barr at the back there? It's insane looking. 2451 02:12:55,260 --> 02:12:57,060 ...PC Magazine. And Chris, maybe you can begin. 2452 02:12:57,580 --> 02:13:05,820 Absolutely. I have two software packages here that are timed perfectly for the Christmas buyer. The first is the latest version of TurboTax. This is version 8. 2453 02:13:05,820 --> 02:13:07,140 And this has a lot of new features. 2454 02:13:07,140 --> 02:13:22,180 Whoa, I'd love to just be fucking getting that loaded up onto the screen. Do a TurboTax stream. Get a few ledgers up there. Really fucking get deep down and dirty in those returns. Fucking love that shit. 2455 02:13:25,260 --> 02:13:31,500 Maybe we'll do one. Maybe we'll do one. Maybe we'll come up with a few hypothetical fucking ledgers. 2456 02:13:31,500 --> 02:13:37,500 Hypothetical business ledgers and just fucking tax it up. Tax the night away. 2457 02:13:37,500 --> 02:13:51,160 One of them is an automatic tax, an audit flagging feature, and it has a hyper type of help facility that can just pull you right through and anybody can use it. 2458 02:13:51,160 --> 02:13:55,120 You never need to go to the post office and stand in line for forms anymore because they're all in here. 2459 02:13:55,400 --> 02:13:59,400 And it also has, you can also purchase separately, 44 different state versions. 2460 02:13:59,740 --> 02:14:02,580 This lists for $75 and the state versions are $40. 2461 02:14:03,020 --> 02:14:05,260 And this year, new this year also, is a Mac version. 2462 02:14:05,380 --> 02:14:05,920 Uh-huh, great. 2463 02:14:05,940 --> 02:14:06,600 Okay, for $89. 2464 02:14:07,600 --> 02:14:09,760 Okay, also, right, I have Quicken. 2465 02:14:10,140 --> 02:14:10,740 This is... 2466 02:14:10,740 --> 02:14:13,380 Because Schindler is not impressed in the slightest. 2467 02:14:13,380 --> 02:14:18,660 He's fucking waiting for any opportunity to go bananas about some tech. 2468 02:14:18,800 --> 02:14:22,980 But this tech stuff really isn't fucking roasting his potato at all. 2469 02:14:24,360 --> 02:14:25,960 Schindler's in the mood for Santa. 2470 02:14:26,800 --> 02:14:27,380 Santy. 2471 02:14:28,060 --> 02:14:28,740 Father Christmas. 2472 02:14:29,280 --> 02:14:30,020 Father Claus. 2473 02:14:30,420 --> 02:14:32,360 Whatever way you want to fucking skin that apple. 2474 02:14:33,700 --> 02:14:35,680 I think they call him Santa in the States. 2475 02:14:36,500 --> 02:14:38,220 And he's in the mood for that man. 2476 02:14:38,940 --> 02:14:40,460 In a big, massive way. 2477 02:14:40,840 --> 02:14:42,300 This is the latest version of Quicken. 2478 02:14:42,380 --> 02:14:43,380 This is 4.0. 2479 02:14:43,880 --> 02:14:45,380 And Quicken, well, let me just show you. 2480 02:14:45,500 --> 02:14:45,680 Okay. 2481 02:14:46,320 --> 02:14:46,680 Okay. 2482 02:14:47,500 --> 02:14:50,760 I think Stu's kind of a bit annoyed with Chris here. 2483 02:14:50,860 --> 02:14:52,360 He's not impressed with him. 2484 02:14:53,040 --> 02:14:54,200 Because he's not dominating. 2485 02:14:54,380 --> 02:14:55,180 He's not controlling. 2486 02:14:56,960 --> 02:14:59,420 And Stu just wants him to get the fucking thing done fast. 2487 02:14:59,480 --> 02:15:00,160 This is the latest version of Quicken. 2488 02:15:00,220 --> 02:15:01,240 This is 4.0. 2489 02:15:01,720 --> 02:15:03,220 And Quicken, well, let me just show you. 2490 02:15:03,340 --> 02:15:08,560 Quicken is known for its check writing ability. 2491 02:15:08,560 --> 02:15:15,020 You can write checks and you can print them out on your laser printer, your dot matrix, or through a check writing service. 2492 02:15:15,460 --> 02:15:19,460 But they have a new feature here, which is a way to track your investments. 2493 02:15:19,700 --> 02:15:21,540 This is similar to managing your money. 2494 02:15:22,180 --> 02:15:26,740 For instance, right here, we've put in a number of stocks that we're tracking here, IBM, Borland, etc. 2495 02:15:26,980 --> 02:15:29,760 And if we want to add a new stock, we just go right here. 2496 02:15:30,620 --> 02:15:32,740 We just do shares in. 2497 02:15:32,860 --> 02:15:33,340 We add it. 2498 02:15:33,680 --> 02:15:35,740 And let's say we're going to add Microsoft here. 2499 02:15:36,840 --> 02:15:39,540 So we just add Microsoft, put in what we paid for it. 2500 02:15:39,860 --> 02:15:41,220 We didn't pay that much. 2501 02:15:41,540 --> 02:15:42,600 Paul Meschglschlug. 2502 02:15:42,600 --> 02:15:43,780 Thanks very much. 2503 02:15:44,340 --> 02:15:45,620 And it tracks it for us right here. 2504 02:15:46,240 --> 02:15:52,720 And then as these things change, you can go up and you can update your prices and keep your portfolio up to date. 2505 02:15:52,880 --> 02:15:57,720 Go in from time to time and you can get a full viewing of your net worth and of your assets. 2506 02:15:58,420 --> 02:15:59,540 And percent gain and loss. 2507 02:15:59,680 --> 02:16:00,780 Percent gain and loss, right. 2508 02:16:01,060 --> 02:16:02,640 And this is brand new. 2509 02:16:02,720 --> 02:16:05,800 It lists for $59 and is available now. 2510 02:16:05,940 --> 02:16:06,200 Okay. 2511 02:16:06,580 --> 02:16:07,400 Jan, it's your turn. 2512 02:16:07,400 --> 02:16:09,340 You've got lots of boxes in front of you there. 2513 02:16:09,640 --> 02:16:10,400 Bunch of goodies here. 2514 02:16:10,440 --> 02:16:13,860 All different types of things that would make good Christmas presents. 2515 02:16:14,240 --> 02:16:17,500 Start with is something called Expands, which is just a little half-slot board. 2516 02:16:17,800 --> 02:16:23,500 And what this does basically is it gets as much as three times the amount of storage on your disk. 2517 02:16:23,560 --> 02:16:27,360 And the way it does it basically is it compresses the files, but it does it on the fly. 2518 02:16:27,460 --> 02:16:28,360 It's transparent to you. 2519 02:16:28,360 --> 02:16:30,360 It's a real Liza Minnelli way of talking. 2520 02:16:30,480 --> 02:16:32,800 It compresses it when it writes and reads and you don't even know it. 2521 02:16:32,800 --> 02:16:36,480 A real nice little package and it lists for $199. 2522 02:16:36,960 --> 02:16:38,300 He's got a powerful mouth. 2523 02:16:38,620 --> 02:16:42,720 We also have RAMPAC, which is two products that were bestsellers on their own. 2524 02:16:43,000 --> 02:16:47,500 PopDrop Plus, which lets you manage RAM resident utilities in expanded memory and things like that. 2525 02:16:47,740 --> 02:16:51,680 And then AboveDisc, which lets you use your disk as expanded memory, 2526 02:16:51,800 --> 02:16:54,080 saving you the money of going out and getting expanded memory. 2527 02:16:54,320 --> 02:16:55,020 Nice little package. 2528 02:16:55,240 --> 02:16:56,860 Together they're listing for $139. 2529 02:16:58,440 --> 02:17:01,340 After Dark has been a best-selling screensaver. 2530 02:17:01,660 --> 02:17:02,720 Oh, not this again. 2531 02:17:02,840 --> 02:17:04,740 Every fucking year After Dark. 2532 02:17:04,920 --> 02:17:06,460 Oh, fucking screensavers, man. 2533 02:17:06,560 --> 02:17:07,460 Fucking savage. 2534 02:17:07,680 --> 02:17:08,360 In the Macintosh. 2535 02:17:08,360 --> 02:17:08,560 Yeah. 2536 02:17:08,740 --> 02:17:10,140 And now they have it for the PC. 2537 02:17:10,260 --> 02:17:10,580 Oh, great. 2538 02:17:10,580 --> 02:17:10,920 It's wonderful. 2539 02:17:11,040 --> 02:17:12,180 I think people will love getting it. 2540 02:17:12,600 --> 02:17:13,700 Something I use quite a bit. 2541 02:17:13,720 --> 02:17:14,780 She knows the script. 2542 02:17:14,900 --> 02:17:17,340 She knows what to do on fucking Computer Chronicles. 2543 02:17:18,080 --> 02:17:18,960 The other guy didn't. 2544 02:17:19,380 --> 02:17:21,120 She's really hammering these products. 2545 02:17:21,200 --> 02:17:22,140 It's Grammatic 4. 2546 02:17:22,240 --> 02:17:23,020 It's for MS-DOS. 2547 02:17:23,060 --> 02:17:23,700 It's for Windows. 2548 02:17:24,520 --> 02:17:25,540 MS-DOS. 2549 02:17:26,060 --> 02:17:27,740 Easiest way to improve your writing. 2550 02:17:27,800 --> 02:17:32,100 It really analyzes your writing style, points out various things that maybe could be improved 2551 02:17:32,100 --> 02:17:33,020 or couldn't... 2552 02:17:33,020 --> 02:17:34,360 A good gift for kids too, aren't they? 2553 02:17:34,480 --> 02:17:35,720 I think for anybody who's doing writing. 2554 02:17:35,920 --> 02:17:37,500 Letters, homework, anything just about. 2555 02:17:38,260 --> 02:17:42,320 Percent edge, let's you do all sorts of amortization, mortgage calculations. 2556 02:17:42,320 --> 02:17:45,120 Would let you take your portfolio that Chris just showed up. 2557 02:17:45,120 --> 02:17:47,320 She'd be great in a kind of fucking... 2558 02:17:47,320 --> 02:17:53,300 A New York kind of gangsters, 1920s gangsters. 2559 02:17:53,500 --> 02:17:58,500 She'd be one of those dolls or dames in the gangster bars maybe, you know, back in her day or whatever. 2560 02:18:00,640 --> 02:18:02,920 Kind of Dick Tracy sort of vibes, is it? 2561 02:18:03,020 --> 02:18:03,120 Great. 2562 02:18:03,160 --> 02:18:04,560 You really earned on your appreciation. 2563 02:18:05,700 --> 02:18:09,840 Also, Computer Industry Almanac, Big Book, the 1990 version... 2564 02:18:09,840 --> 02:18:10,880 It's a big book, she! 2565 02:18:11,080 --> 02:18:11,500 ...is out. 2566 02:18:11,860 --> 02:18:14,720 And it has just about everything you'd ever want to know about the computer industry. 2567 02:18:15,640 --> 02:18:18,140 And last but definitely not least is Lotus Magellan. 2568 02:18:18,320 --> 02:18:19,200 Okay, you're going to show us a little Magellan. 2569 02:18:19,200 --> 02:18:19,940 I'm going to show you that. 2570 02:18:20,080 --> 02:18:20,220 Yeah. 2571 02:18:20,340 --> 02:18:23,800 This is something that, you know, once you use it, you'd never use MS-DOS without it. 2572 02:18:25,340 --> 02:18:29,920 And basically, the kind of file management capabilities that you have with this 2573 02:18:29,920 --> 02:18:31,920 are extremely pleasant. 2574 02:18:32,300 --> 02:18:33,920 Here we have each of the drives. 2575 02:18:34,040 --> 02:18:34,780 We have four drives here. 2576 02:18:34,820 --> 02:18:36,280 We're going to be looking at the C drive. 2577 02:18:36,540 --> 02:18:40,040 Now, what you see on the right-hand side is everything that you would see in a DUR listing. 2578 02:18:40,220 --> 02:18:40,300 Right. 2579 02:18:40,420 --> 02:18:43,180 But what you can do is just with the cursor keys, you can go over here 2580 02:18:43,180 --> 02:18:47,540 and now have access to each one of these individual items. 2581 02:18:47,860 --> 02:18:50,020 Now, the directories are going to show you other things. 2582 02:18:50,140 --> 02:18:50,800 Can you look at the files? 2583 02:18:51,560 --> 02:18:52,540 You can look at the files, too. 2584 02:18:52,580 --> 02:18:54,020 Let's just say you can also find things. 2585 02:18:54,140 --> 02:18:56,420 They see UM files. 2586 02:18:57,360 --> 02:19:00,320 Let's say I want to find two other things. 2587 02:19:01,020 --> 02:19:02,000 Mouse.com. 2588 02:19:02,080 --> 02:19:05,080 Each one of these individual items. 2589 02:19:05,400 --> 02:19:07,580 Now, the directories are going to show you other things. 2590 02:19:07,700 --> 02:19:08,360 Can you look at the files? 2591 02:19:08,580 --> 02:19:09,480 You can look at the files, too. 2592 02:19:09,520 --> 02:19:10,960 Let's just say you can also find things. 2593 02:19:11,020 --> 02:19:12,620 Let's say I want to find Jan. 2594 02:19:12,780 --> 02:19:14,200 So it showed me two files. 2595 02:19:14,660 --> 02:19:15,480 Jan files. 2596 02:19:15,660 --> 02:19:15,980 See? 2597 02:19:16,200 --> 02:19:18,320 I'm going to go up in this directory and look at this one. 2598 02:19:18,640 --> 02:19:19,740 I can actually go in here. 2599 02:19:19,980 --> 02:19:22,480 Normally, to look at all these files, I have to have the applications. 2600 02:19:22,640 --> 02:19:23,420 I have to open them. 2601 02:19:23,580 --> 02:19:24,460 I don't have to do that. 2602 02:19:24,540 --> 02:19:25,180 You can do that from Magellan. 2603 02:19:25,180 --> 02:19:25,740 Each one of these. 2604 02:19:25,960 --> 02:19:30,980 And, in fact, if some of these things are not even ASCII files, you can still see them. 2605 02:19:31,080 --> 02:19:31,820 In their native mode. 2606 02:19:32,040 --> 02:19:32,400 Exactly. 2607 02:19:32,720 --> 02:19:33,820 Is it hard to use, Magellan? 2608 02:19:33,900 --> 02:19:34,100 I've heard that. 2609 02:19:34,100 --> 02:19:34,600 Not at all. 2610 02:19:35,080 --> 02:19:36,020 Just take a look at this. 2611 02:19:36,080 --> 02:19:39,560 You can do things like, again, you're just using really function keys and the... 2612 02:19:39,560 --> 02:19:41,860 Schindler's little looks are funny. 2613 02:19:42,000 --> 02:19:49,340 I think he's just like, maybe he's beginning to realize he's wearing the hat and the others aren't as in on the Christmas vibe. 2614 02:19:49,340 --> 02:19:51,120 And he's thinking, am I looking a bit silly? 2615 02:19:51,320 --> 02:19:57,380 At the same time, I don't think he cares because he's more of a kind of fucking freewheeling, free and easy kind of guy. 2616 02:19:58,500 --> 02:20:00,020 Just move there for a moment. 2617 02:20:00,140 --> 02:20:01,680 But he does do a little look up here. 2618 02:20:02,420 --> 02:20:04,380 And a little wry smile as well. 2619 02:20:04,840 --> 02:20:05,100 Look at that. 2620 02:20:06,540 --> 02:20:06,880 Lovely. 2621 02:20:07,080 --> 02:20:09,580 It's really festive. 2622 02:20:12,960 --> 02:20:17,060 This, you can do things like, again, you're just using really function keys and the cursor keys. 2623 02:20:17,180 --> 02:20:17,380 Let's... 2624 02:20:17,380 --> 02:20:18,740 Mushrooms kicking in. 2625 02:20:19,300 --> 02:20:22,040 I thought when he was looking at the... 2626 02:20:22,040 --> 02:20:27,320 He was looking into space there a minute ago when the tax was being discussed. 2627 02:20:27,640 --> 02:20:31,540 And didn't we speculate on his finances in later episodes? 2628 02:20:32,160 --> 02:20:35,460 So maybe there was a moment here when the bookings talked about TurboTax. 2629 02:20:35,860 --> 02:20:39,100 Let's just go back there for a moment and see his reaction. 2630 02:20:39,320 --> 02:20:41,160 Um, an audit flagging feature. 2631 02:20:41,640 --> 02:20:45,800 And it has a hyper type of office and stand for different. 2632 02:20:45,900 --> 02:20:46,480 Here, knew this right. 2633 02:20:46,560 --> 02:20:47,080 I have... 2634 02:20:47,080 --> 02:20:48,420 Look at Chinder there. 2635 02:20:48,480 --> 02:20:50,240 He knows something he's thinking about. 2636 02:20:50,660 --> 02:20:51,520 Oh my God. 2637 02:20:51,820 --> 02:20:52,960 What happens if I... 2638 02:20:52,960 --> 02:20:54,020 If they find me out? 2639 02:20:54,900 --> 02:20:55,960 Oh my God. 2640 02:20:57,020 --> 02:20:59,320 I never filed that 415. 2641 02:21:01,620 --> 02:21:01,940 Quicken. 2642 02:21:02,180 --> 02:21:03,840 This is the latest version of Quicken. 2643 02:21:03,900 --> 02:21:04,920 This is 4.0. 2644 02:21:05,580 --> 02:21:06,020 Okay, also... 2645 02:21:06,540 --> 02:21:07,380 Right, I have Quicken. 2646 02:21:07,640 --> 02:21:08,920 This is the latest version of Quicken. 2647 02:21:09,000 --> 02:21:09,380 This is $4. 2648 02:21:10,460 --> 02:21:11,020 Okay, also... 2649 02:21:11,600 --> 02:21:12,480 Right, I have Quicken. 2650 02:21:12,720 --> 02:21:14,020 This is the latest version of Quicken. 2651 02:21:14,080 --> 02:21:15,100 This is 4.0. 2652 02:21:17,160 --> 02:21:18,820 I have a similar product to Jan's. 2653 02:21:18,880 --> 02:21:19,820 This is called Stacker. 2654 02:21:20,120 --> 02:21:22,160 For $229, it can... 2655 02:21:22,160 --> 02:21:24,440 Stacker looks fucking lit. 2656 02:21:24,780 --> 02:21:25,880 Yeah, not bad. 2657 02:21:26,220 --> 02:21:27,460 Alright, Paul, you've got a bunch of boxes. 2658 02:21:27,660 --> 02:21:28,320 I sure do. 2659 02:21:28,440 --> 02:21:29,600 Starting with... 2660 02:21:29,600 --> 02:21:31,500 You know, I guess it's trite to pull a pocket... 2661 02:21:31,500 --> 02:21:33,280 He always does that pocket... 2662 02:21:33,280 --> 02:21:34,340 Maneuver. 2663 02:21:34,440 --> 02:21:35,360 Paul, you've got a bunch of boxes. 2664 02:21:35,540 --> 02:21:36,220 I sure do. 2665 02:21:36,340 --> 02:21:37,640 Starting with... 2666 02:21:37,640 --> 02:21:37,820 You know... 2667 02:21:37,820 --> 02:21:38,820 Starting... 2668 02:21:38,820 --> 02:21:42,180 I keep pressing the wrong fucking key there. 2669 02:21:42,180 --> 02:21:44,440 I like the way he's kept that in the top pocket. 2670 02:21:45,960 --> 02:21:47,820 Starting with... 2671 02:21:47,820 --> 02:21:51,120 You know, I guess it's trite to pull a pocket computer out of your pocket... 2672 02:21:51,120 --> 02:21:51,640 But you did it. 2673 02:21:51,640 --> 02:21:52,280 But I did it. 2674 02:21:52,400 --> 02:21:55,940 This is 1995 from Pocket Computer Corporation. 2675 02:21:56,240 --> 02:21:57,640 Been talking about it for a long time. 2676 02:21:57,700 --> 02:21:59,920 It's actually available on the market this Christmas. 2677 02:22:00,300 --> 02:22:02,020 And they have vastly improved the keyboard. 2678 02:22:02,220 --> 02:22:05,520 I have been quoted accurately in public as saying that this keyboard... 2679 02:22:05,520 --> 02:22:06,660 was not very usable. 2680 02:22:07,000 --> 02:22:07,980 It is now usable. 2681 02:22:08,100 --> 02:22:09,140 It's real and it's better. 2682 02:22:09,200 --> 02:22:10,120 It's real, it's better. 2683 02:22:10,220 --> 02:22:12,660 It's 1995 and it's expensive but interesting. 2684 02:22:13,700 --> 02:22:15,420 I have a similar product to Jan's. 2685 02:22:15,480 --> 02:22:16,420 This is called Stacker. 2686 02:22:16,720 --> 02:22:17,780 For $229. 2687 02:22:18,220 --> 02:22:20,080 It doesn't look like a disk drive... 2688 02:22:20,080 --> 02:22:22,000 But it can double the capacity of your disk drive... 2689 02:22:22,000 --> 02:22:23,060 By compressing files. 2690 02:22:23,440 --> 02:22:25,920 That's from Stack Electronics in Carlsbad, California. 2691 02:22:26,940 --> 02:22:27,840 I like this. 2692 02:22:27,900 --> 02:22:29,220 This is called the Fax... 2693 02:22:29,220 --> 02:22:30,480 Thank you very much, Mark. 2694 02:22:30,500 --> 02:22:31,500 You played the last of us. 2695 02:22:31,560 --> 02:22:33,360 I started but I couldn't... 2696 02:22:33,360 --> 02:22:35,360 I don't know if I... 2697 02:22:35,360 --> 02:22:37,640 It really lit my fire as a stream game. 2698 02:22:37,740 --> 02:22:38,820 I played it on... 2699 02:22:38,820 --> 02:22:39,680 Off stream... 2700 02:22:39,680 --> 02:22:40,700 When it first came out. 2701 02:22:40,940 --> 02:22:41,780 And I liked it. 2702 02:22:41,800 --> 02:22:43,600 But I didn't really like it on the fucking stream. 2703 02:22:45,080 --> 02:22:45,680 Maybe... 2704 02:22:45,680 --> 02:22:47,500 Maybe we're revisiting it again. 2705 02:22:48,500 --> 02:22:49,360 Not on this fucking... 2706 02:22:50,820 --> 02:22:51,980 Bastard Xbox. 2707 02:22:54,980 --> 02:22:56,940 Not exactly like the Veg-O-Matic. 2708 02:22:56,940 --> 02:23:00,760 But it receives faxes and prints them out on your printer. 2709 02:23:01,160 --> 02:23:03,960 So that you don't need a separate fax if all you're doing is receiving. 2710 02:23:04,400 --> 02:23:05,860 It's kind of hefty. 2711 02:23:05,920 --> 02:23:08,780 $400 from Tall Tree Systems in Palo Alto, California. 2712 02:23:09,360 --> 02:23:10,520 But it... 2713 02:23:10,520 --> 02:23:12,380 By the way, and all the other things I'm showing this year, 2714 02:23:12,440 --> 02:23:15,240 I picked out with the help of my colleague Richard Dalton, 2715 02:23:15,300 --> 02:23:17,720 who also helps me do the software reviews on the Computer Chronicles. 2716 02:23:17,720 --> 02:23:19,520 The HP LaserJet 2P. 2717 02:23:19,640 --> 02:23:21,360 $800 this Christmas season. 2718 02:23:21,540 --> 02:23:23,320 And if you buy it before the end of the year, 2719 02:23:23,620 --> 02:23:27,100 they'll throw in a free paper cartridge that's normally $125. 2720 02:23:27,640 --> 02:23:28,420 Absolutely great. 2721 02:23:28,960 --> 02:23:29,200 Beautiful. 2722 02:23:29,200 --> 02:23:32,340 Finally, the Microsoft Entertainment Pack for Windows. 2723 02:23:32,760 --> 02:23:34,060 I heartily recommend it. 2724 02:23:34,100 --> 02:23:35,520 Everybody needs to play now and then. 2725 02:23:35,560 --> 02:23:37,580 And in the Windows environment, you can just bring it up, play, 2726 02:23:37,660 --> 02:23:39,720 and then hide it quickly when the boss comes in, 2727 02:23:39,960 --> 02:23:41,220 a la the Mac environment. 2728 02:23:41,680 --> 02:23:46,040 Lots of different things on here, including a cute little screensaver 2729 02:23:46,040 --> 02:23:48,000 with your choice of... 2730 02:23:48,000 --> 02:23:53,820 With your choice of on-screen environments. 2731 02:23:54,660 --> 02:23:57,360 And that's my suggestion. 2732 02:23:57,460 --> 02:23:58,300 It also has Tetris. 2733 02:23:58,420 --> 02:23:59,160 It has Solitaire. 2734 02:23:59,740 --> 02:24:02,060 And it's a great adjunct. 2735 02:24:02,200 --> 02:24:03,720 And that is, of course, from Microsoft. 2736 02:24:03,920 --> 02:24:04,180 $40. 2737 02:24:04,680 --> 02:24:05,140 All right. 2738 02:24:05,180 --> 02:24:07,120 We've got a couple minutes left, and it's my turn. 2739 02:24:07,820 --> 02:24:09,920 You were talking about faxes, Paul. 2740 02:24:10,460 --> 02:24:12,300 A couple years ago, you may remember, Jan, 2741 02:24:12,360 --> 02:24:12,820 we had the... 2742 02:24:12,820 --> 02:24:14,180 When Worldport came out with a little modem. 2743 02:24:14,560 --> 02:24:16,760 This is now a fax modem for your laptop. 2744 02:24:17,240 --> 02:24:18,480 9,600 baud. 2745 02:24:18,580 --> 02:24:20,260 A fax modem, 2,400 baud. 2746 02:24:20,740 --> 02:24:21,860 Data modem, pretty neat. 2747 02:24:21,900 --> 02:24:22,520 You can carry it around. 2748 02:24:22,840 --> 02:24:25,360 I think it costs, what, $699, a nice little toy. 2749 02:24:25,440 --> 02:24:29,640 Now, a lot of us have laptops with modems and cellular phones or car phones, 2750 02:24:29,680 --> 02:24:30,520 but you can't plug them in. 2751 02:24:30,780 --> 02:24:32,440 This little black box does it. 2752 02:24:32,460 --> 02:24:33,460 It's called the data cell. 2753 02:24:33,740 --> 02:24:37,240 You put your modem in here from your computer, your car phone plug in here, 2754 02:24:37,460 --> 02:24:41,400 and you can use your cellular phone, your car phone for a fax machine or for a modem. 2755 02:24:41,460 --> 02:24:42,100 It's really a neat toy. 2756 02:24:42,300 --> 02:24:43,360 It's only $299. 2757 02:24:43,820 --> 02:24:44,280 It's really helpful. 2758 02:24:44,280 --> 02:24:44,680 Sweet need. 2759 02:24:44,680 --> 02:24:45,440 It's on the run a lot. 2760 02:24:45,720 --> 02:24:47,220 A couple of software things I want to mention. 2761 02:24:47,340 --> 02:24:47,940 Play it by ear. 2762 02:24:48,000 --> 02:24:50,700 If you're trying to sing Christmas carols this year and you find you can't carry a tune, 2763 02:24:51,220 --> 02:24:54,720 this lets you train your ears so you can recognize the note, recognize the chord. 2764 02:24:54,820 --> 02:24:56,720 It's a nice little thing for kids in particular. 2765 02:24:57,220 --> 02:24:57,660 $99. 2766 02:24:58,100 --> 02:24:59,080 Play it by ear. 2767 02:24:59,360 --> 02:25:00,920 This is a rather interesting program. 2768 02:25:01,040 --> 02:25:01,900 Bible Illustrator. 2769 02:25:02,020 --> 02:25:02,640 It's not an illustration. 2770 02:25:02,880 --> 02:25:03,780 Fucking shoes. 2771 02:25:03,980 --> 02:25:04,260 Fucking. 2772 02:25:04,720 --> 02:25:07,100 It's like a machine gun of products. 2773 02:25:07,960 --> 02:25:09,800 It's like, this is that, that's that. 2774 02:25:09,980 --> 02:25:10,700 That does this. 2775 02:25:10,820 --> 02:25:11,560 This does that. 2776 02:25:11,680 --> 02:25:12,380 That's good. 2777 02:25:12,740 --> 02:25:13,260 Next one. 2778 02:25:13,420 --> 02:25:14,220 On to the next one. 2779 02:25:14,320 --> 02:25:14,900 There we go. 2780 02:25:15,180 --> 02:25:16,920 Really schooling these amateurs. 2781 02:25:18,140 --> 02:25:28,240 Fucking, he had a fraction of the time of stew or he had double the time of stew and he presented two pieces of software and you can tell he's just thinking, what the fuck? 2782 02:25:28,260 --> 02:25:28,760 I blew it. 2783 02:25:29,300 --> 02:25:31,180 They'll never invite me onto the show again. 2784 02:25:32,360 --> 02:25:33,300 There's no pictures. 2785 02:25:34,240 --> 02:25:38,060 And she's impressed with the Tommy gun like way he's blasting through this. 2786 02:25:39,200 --> 02:25:43,700 Like the Tommy gun she would have seen in the fucking speakeasies back in the day. 2787 02:25:45,060 --> 02:25:47,960 But it gives you stories to explain principles in the Bible. 2788 02:25:48,360 --> 02:25:50,340 You look up any concept that has to do with the Bible. 2789 02:25:50,440 --> 02:25:55,360 For instance, I looked up something like the phrase God bless you and it told me what the origin of God bless you was. 2790 02:25:55,440 --> 02:25:59,980 Back in 750, Gregory the Great thought when you sneezed, you sneezed your soul out and you needed a prayer. 2791 02:26:00,240 --> 02:26:01,840 He said the prayer shall be God bless you. 2792 02:26:02,020 --> 02:26:03,320 Came out of Bible Illustrator. 2793 02:26:03,540 --> 02:26:06,320 I want to show off this thing, the American Heritage Electronic Dictionary. 2794 02:26:06,380 --> 02:26:09,500 We saw at the very beginning that encyclopedia on a CD-ROM. 2795 02:26:09,700 --> 02:26:11,980 Most people think you need a CD-ROM to do this kind of thing. 2796 02:26:12,160 --> 02:26:15,700 You can have this dictionary online as a TSR just on your hard drive. 2797 02:26:15,760 --> 02:26:18,980 Let me show you an example of how powerful this particular thing is. 2798 02:26:19,020 --> 02:26:19,640 You can call it up. 2799 02:26:20,040 --> 02:26:23,300 What's nice about this dictionary is sometimes you don't know what word you want. 2800 02:26:23,420 --> 02:26:24,500 So a dictionary is useless. 2801 02:26:24,600 --> 02:26:25,560 A thesaurus is even useless. 2802 02:26:25,880 --> 02:26:31,400 So as I'm trying to, I know there's a name for a sail on a boat that's in that third position, but I can't remember the name of the darn thing. 2803 02:26:31,400 --> 02:26:39,460 I say, well, find me a word that has something to do with sailing and something to do with a mast, and I think, you know, it's the number three thing on there. 2804 02:26:39,520 --> 02:26:40,800 Is there such a thing in your dictionary? 2805 02:26:41,500 --> 02:26:41,740 Boom. 2806 02:26:42,020 --> 02:26:43,160 The word was mizzenmast. 2807 02:26:43,220 --> 02:26:44,100 I can double-check the meaning. 2808 02:26:44,220 --> 02:26:45,700 That's exactly the word I was looking for. 2809 02:26:45,800 --> 02:26:46,760 Fucking mizzenmast. 2810 02:26:46,780 --> 02:26:49,920 Last but not least, this little baby over here. 2811 02:26:50,040 --> 02:26:58,300 This is the new 386, 20 megahertz, 20 megabyte hard drive, VGA screen, 9x11 notebook computer from AST. 2812 02:26:58,300 --> 02:27:02,820 It's an absolute desktop in a notebook form, and it's selling for only $29.95. 2813 02:27:03,080 --> 02:27:08,400 So if you're really looking for that high-quality gift, really one of the best-looking desktops I've seen around. 2814 02:27:08,740 --> 02:27:13,720 All right, we're going to be back in just a minute with some gifts for the Macintosh people on your list, so stay with us. 2815 02:27:15,800 --> 02:27:16,960 Oh, look at that wipe. 2816 02:27:19,720 --> 02:27:27,860 The look of Stu is in your eyes. 2817 02:27:27,860 --> 02:27:35,000 His head and face is halfway there. 2818 02:27:35,520 --> 02:27:40,160 You can see his eyes and head looking through the clouds. 2819 02:27:41,220 --> 02:27:44,720 It's Stu, and you know it's who. 2820 02:27:44,720 --> 02:27:48,000 He can see everything about you. 2821 02:27:48,140 --> 02:27:51,120 Feel the tech around you. 2822 02:27:53,460 --> 02:28:01,400 The wipe of Stu is in your room. 2823 02:28:05,120 --> 02:28:20,280 Yeah. It's going to be a Mac-Mac Christmas. 2824 02:28:20,280 --> 02:28:35,820 We're back now with Paul Schindler and Jan Lewis, and joining us in this segment when we're talking about Macintosh products, Andrew Eisner, director of Mac User Labs. 2825 02:28:35,900 --> 02:28:36,900 Now, before we get to you, Andrew... 2826 02:28:36,900 --> 02:28:47,900 Tonight at 9 on Dispatch is... 2827 02:28:49,820 --> 02:28:51,900 Andrew Labs' Mac User Extraordinaire. 2828 02:28:54,400 --> 02:28:55,760 What did he know? 2829 02:28:57,460 --> 02:28:58,740 What did he do? 2830 02:29:01,920 --> 02:29:03,580 When will he strike again? 2831 02:29:09,120 --> 02:29:11,160 He looks like Tom. 2832 02:29:12,620 --> 02:29:13,180 Tom. 2833 02:29:15,360 --> 02:29:16,700 Hello. How are you getting on? 2834 02:29:17,120 --> 02:29:20,380 There's a fella here, Tom. He looks like you, but without the cap. 2835 02:29:20,800 --> 02:29:24,520 We need to get a fucking PNG transparent image cap for this guy. 2836 02:29:25,400 --> 02:29:26,480 It's you, Tom. 2837 02:29:26,820 --> 02:29:30,640 It's you in the Computer Chronicles back in 1990, Tom. 2838 02:29:32,240 --> 02:29:33,360 He looks nothing like me. 2839 02:29:35,120 --> 02:29:37,260 The fuck are you talking about? He looks nothing like me. 2840 02:29:39,280 --> 02:29:41,240 It's you, Tom. You know it's you. 2841 02:29:41,920 --> 02:29:44,340 He just doesn't have the fucking cap and the leather jacket. 2842 02:29:48,300 --> 02:29:49,800 I'm not sure about that now. 2843 02:29:49,800 --> 02:29:52,080 I don't think that's me. 2844 02:29:53,620 --> 02:29:55,320 Might be my brother, I think, maybe. 2845 02:29:59,060 --> 02:30:01,040 Can we get a cap on this guy? 2846 02:30:02,380 --> 02:30:04,640 Can we get a fucking cap on this guy? 2847 02:30:07,460 --> 02:30:10,260 Feel my arse around you. 2848 02:30:13,260 --> 02:30:16,380 Cold Sean PNG. 2849 02:30:16,380 --> 02:30:23,700 Well, we needn't even fucking bother. 2850 02:30:23,840 --> 02:30:26,400 We could just get this picture and drop that one on. 2851 02:30:27,480 --> 02:30:28,260 Save image. 2852 02:30:29,980 --> 02:30:30,340 Desktop. 2853 02:30:34,340 --> 02:30:36,100 I think that one is there. 2854 02:30:36,220 --> 02:30:36,700 Let's see. 2855 02:30:37,320 --> 02:30:38,500 Fuck, that might work, man. 2856 02:30:38,640 --> 02:30:39,720 This could be even better. 2857 02:30:40,920 --> 02:30:42,100 This could be even better. 2858 02:30:42,280 --> 02:30:43,380 Maybe you need this. 2859 02:30:43,380 --> 02:30:43,540 Okay. 2860 02:30:43,540 --> 02:30:50,660 Classic snapback. 2861 02:30:53,860 --> 02:30:56,220 Can't be downloaded securely. 2862 02:30:58,300 --> 02:30:59,460 Bear with me here. 2863 02:30:59,560 --> 02:31:10,260 This is not something we want to fucking walk away from lightly here because we do have a Sipovitz-esque Tommy Schlug scenario buyer's guide. 2864 02:31:11,840 --> 02:31:14,020 Let me just fucking find this now. 2865 02:31:23,160 --> 02:31:24,340 Do-loo-loo-doo-doo. 2866 02:31:24,420 --> 02:31:26,440 Might just play that while I'm looking for this. 2867 02:31:27,000 --> 02:31:29,980 One of my suggested gifts is this Mac 2 SI. 2868 02:31:30,100 --> 02:31:31,620 It doesn't come with the dinosaur, by the way. 2869 02:31:31,960 --> 02:31:35,340 But it's 35% less expensive than any Mac 2 has ever been before. 2870 02:31:35,440 --> 02:31:36,300 Of course, comes with color. 2871 02:31:36,400 --> 02:31:38,620 The 68030 20 megabyte drive. 2872 02:31:38,680 --> 02:31:39,440 40 megabyte drive. 2873 02:31:39,500 --> 02:31:40,540 In fact, 2 megabytes of RAM. 2874 02:31:40,860 --> 02:31:41,600 Very nice machine. 2875 02:31:41,680 --> 02:31:43,900 About $3,700 to get the Mac 2 SI. 2876 02:31:44,400 --> 02:31:47,540 Now, given I've got that machine, Andrew, show me some things I can do with it. 2877 02:31:47,880 --> 02:31:51,820 Well, Stuart, first of all, a fun item on top of the screen here is a computer critter. 2878 02:31:51,940 --> 02:31:52,720 This is a dinosaur. 2879 02:31:53,060 --> 02:31:56,240 Dinosaur can also get a rabbit, and they cost about $25 or $30. 2880 02:31:56,640 --> 02:31:57,020 Oh, yeah. 2881 02:31:57,040 --> 02:31:58,700 I've got a couple of CD-ROMs I brought along. 2882 02:31:58,800 --> 02:32:04,360 First of all, the Microsoft Office has four popular Microsoft programs, and it also has the manuals. 2883 02:32:04,480 --> 02:32:05,900 It's given 2 megabytes of RAM. 2884 02:32:06,000 --> 02:32:06,420 Of course, Dino. 2885 02:32:06,500 --> 02:32:11,480 Now, joining us in this segment when we're talking about Macintosh products, Andrew Eisner, director of MacUser Labs. 2886 02:32:11,480 --> 02:32:35,560 How can we turn this fucking yoke around in OBS? 2887 02:32:35,560 --> 02:32:36,360 I don't think you can. 2888 02:32:36,520 --> 02:32:38,760 You can't move it around like you can in Photoshop. 2889 02:32:38,760 --> 02:32:42,980 I wonder. 2890 02:32:45,920 --> 02:32:49,360 Looks nothing fucking like me, and it goes away when you move to my voice anywhere. 2891 02:32:52,360 --> 02:32:54,360 Well, we can do something about that. 2892 02:32:56,000 --> 02:32:58,060 Most definitely do something about that. 2893 02:32:58,700 --> 02:33:05,220 And let us just really get to grips with this scenario here. 2894 02:33:05,220 --> 02:33:10,220 I don't know what you're saying. 2895 02:33:10,700 --> 02:33:13,700 I don't think you know exactly what you're doing. 2896 02:33:13,820 --> 02:33:15,340 Jeez Christ, it's me. 2897 02:33:16,200 --> 02:33:17,620 Didn't I fucking tell you, Tom? 2898 02:33:17,900 --> 02:33:20,180 I can't move the cap around to angle it. 2899 02:33:20,820 --> 02:33:21,460 Doesn't matter. 2900 02:33:21,600 --> 02:33:22,420 It's fucking double. 2901 02:33:23,500 --> 02:33:24,640 Jeez, maybe that was me. 2902 02:33:25,980 --> 02:33:27,860 Maybe it was you back in the day. 2903 02:33:27,900 --> 02:33:31,460 Do you remember doing anything on Computer Chronicles back in the day, Tom? 2904 02:33:32,740 --> 02:33:35,800 I can remember doing a bit of work over in the States, all right? 2905 02:33:36,080 --> 02:33:40,740 And I would be working tunnels, mainly ditches and tunnels. 2906 02:33:41,580 --> 02:33:47,120 But there were a few times when, you know, after work, you'd go off on a Friday evening, 2907 02:33:47,280 --> 02:33:49,860 you'd throw the wages behind the bell, and you'd fucking go off on one. 2908 02:33:49,920 --> 02:33:51,960 You wouldn't know where you'd end up by Saturday, Sunday. 2909 02:33:53,040 --> 02:33:57,580 And I can remember actually waking up and doing a thing on a TV studio. 2910 02:33:58,800 --> 02:34:01,360 And they put a suit on me and said, are you ready, Tom? 2911 02:34:01,480 --> 02:34:05,020 Five, four, three, two, one, before I could even have time to explain to them 2912 02:34:05,020 --> 02:34:07,660 that they got the wrong man I was on here. 2913 02:34:07,800 --> 02:34:09,800 So I think it was me, yeah. 2914 02:34:09,940 --> 02:34:13,600 I have to say that I'm actually pretty sure it was me one day. 2915 02:34:15,140 --> 02:34:18,020 And can you explain the difference in voice? 2916 02:34:18,100 --> 02:34:19,980 Because there's a bit of a different voice going on there. 2917 02:34:24,300 --> 02:34:25,200 Tom, are you there, Tom? 2918 02:34:26,080 --> 02:34:27,040 Yeah, sorry, I'm still here. 2919 02:34:27,940 --> 02:34:30,180 Can you explain the voice over there? 2920 02:34:32,580 --> 02:34:37,320 I think they dubbed, they just dubbed over, they dubbed it over like when I was talking. 2921 02:34:39,100 --> 02:34:44,180 So if you play it there now, I'd be able to dub it over myself while he's talking. 2922 02:34:45,860 --> 02:34:47,340 You have to clean up my audio, though. 2923 02:34:47,340 --> 02:34:52,500 Before we get to you, Andrew, one of my 60% less draft for you, I, an item on time. 2924 02:34:52,500 --> 02:35:04,380 Have you a different cap, like one that goes to the side? 2925 02:35:07,180 --> 02:35:09,000 Just working on that one now. 2926 02:35:10,500 --> 02:35:11,760 It's handy that these things are up. 2927 02:35:15,260 --> 02:35:16,880 They're back in fashion, like, you know? 2928 02:35:16,880 --> 02:35:19,880 I'm sure they never left. 2929 02:35:20,020 --> 02:35:21,020 They never left the building. 2930 02:35:22,640 --> 02:35:23,820 They never left the building. 2931 02:35:27,240 --> 02:35:28,200 This guy knows it. 2932 02:35:28,200 --> 02:35:29,740 They actually called me Andrew Eisner. 2933 02:35:31,080 --> 02:35:31,620 When I was... 2934 02:35:31,620 --> 02:35:40,780 Return of the Mac. 2935 02:35:40,860 --> 02:35:41,880 Thanks very much for the tip. 2936 02:35:44,700 --> 02:35:45,400 Top of the screen. 2937 02:35:45,400 --> 02:35:45,460 Top of the screen. 2938 02:35:58,260 --> 02:36:01,120 Well, I'll tell you now about this Macintosh. 2939 02:36:01,200 --> 02:36:02,080 It's a great computer. 2940 02:36:03,040 --> 02:36:04,760 Two of these will set you back. 2941 02:36:05,000 --> 02:36:06,280 The house and the wife. 2942 02:36:07,260 --> 02:36:07,840 But it's a... 2943 02:36:07,840 --> 02:36:09,240 You can get a great... 2944 02:36:09,240 --> 02:36:11,940 You can get a great application for it. 2945 02:36:12,300 --> 02:36:13,640 It's a beautiful piece of machinery. 2946 02:36:14,320 --> 02:36:15,480 It costs a lot of money. 2947 02:36:16,120 --> 02:36:18,640 But you can get a great dinosaur game for the kids. 2948 02:36:19,700 --> 02:36:20,960 There's dinosaur games on it. 2949 02:36:21,620 --> 02:36:23,240 You can also get... 2950 02:36:24,380 --> 02:36:26,080 Can you clean the audio up there, Francis? 2951 02:36:27,120 --> 02:36:27,900 Yeah, one sec. 2952 02:36:27,940 --> 02:36:30,260 You should be clean and ready to go now. 2953 02:36:31,800 --> 02:36:34,380 I'll have to adjust the cap there as well on you for a second, Tom. 2954 02:36:38,300 --> 02:36:41,080 You're looking a bit kind of hip-hop there now. 2955 02:36:42,400 --> 02:36:43,560 Conrad, thanks very much. 2956 02:36:43,620 --> 02:36:44,300 In return of the Mac. 2957 02:36:44,360 --> 02:36:45,680 And Tommy Mac, thanks very much. 2958 02:36:48,960 --> 02:36:49,560 Okay, Tom. 2959 02:36:49,620 --> 02:36:50,000 Go for it. 2960 02:36:50,020 --> 02:36:50,440 Take it away. 2961 02:36:52,160 --> 02:36:53,620 Now, you see the CD here. 2962 02:36:53,620 --> 02:36:55,360 It's a quality, quality CD. 2963 02:36:55,920 --> 02:36:56,360 Oh, fuck. 2964 02:36:58,660 --> 02:37:00,540 This is a great piece of machinery here. 2965 02:37:01,220 --> 02:37:01,840 It's a... 2966 02:37:01,840 --> 02:37:03,600 None of the Microsoft Office. 2967 02:37:03,740 --> 02:37:04,440 Compact disc. 2968 02:37:04,800 --> 02:37:05,740 It's a beautiful CD. 2969 02:37:05,900 --> 02:37:06,460 It's great music. 2970 02:37:06,560 --> 02:37:07,020 Great tunes. 2971 02:37:09,120 --> 02:37:10,960 Great tunes on this one here. 2972 02:37:11,040 --> 02:37:12,180 It's called Caravan of Love. 2973 02:37:14,580 --> 02:37:18,700 And it's about a caravan that has a lot of love inside it. 2974 02:37:18,700 --> 02:37:19,720 It's beautiful stuff. 2975 02:37:22,220 --> 02:37:23,460 Next thing I have here. 2976 02:37:23,460 --> 02:37:25,460 It's not a CD. 2977 02:37:26,100 --> 02:37:26,360 Sorry. 2978 02:37:26,600 --> 02:37:27,280 It's not a CD. 2979 02:37:27,440 --> 02:37:28,560 But I'll tell you something, man. 2980 02:37:29,000 --> 02:37:31,340 This is a cool piece of technology, man. 2981 02:37:31,880 --> 02:37:32,420 I'll tell you. 2982 02:37:33,140 --> 02:37:34,040 It's fantastic. 2983 02:37:34,840 --> 02:37:37,700 It's called Where in the World is Caravan San Diego? 2984 02:37:38,320 --> 02:37:39,740 It's a fucking great game. 2985 02:37:40,000 --> 02:37:41,200 Powerful, powerful game. 2986 02:37:41,580 --> 02:37:42,540 Powerful piece of work. 2987 02:37:43,060 --> 02:37:45,000 And you go around the world trying to find Caravan. 2988 02:37:45,480 --> 02:37:46,380 Tell you something, dudes. 2989 02:37:46,860 --> 02:37:50,380 This is something you really want to get going for Christmas. 2990 02:37:50,540 --> 02:37:51,100 This is a... 2991 02:37:51,100 --> 02:37:53,600 We got a heavy piece here now, boys. 2992 02:37:54,080 --> 02:37:55,320 This is a machine. 2993 02:37:55,840 --> 02:37:57,500 It's a fucking disc jockey. 2994 02:37:58,360 --> 02:38:00,460 What you do is you turn the volume down on it. 2995 02:38:00,620 --> 02:38:01,960 Because it's very loud. 2996 02:38:01,960 --> 02:38:05,140 And you get it rolling on the screen. 2997 02:38:05,680 --> 02:38:06,520 And it really... 2998 02:38:06,520 --> 02:38:08,420 It really gets the planes going. 2999 02:38:08,780 --> 02:38:09,860 If you're into planes. 3000 02:38:10,680 --> 02:38:11,520 And you're into chairs. 3001 02:38:12,400 --> 02:38:14,840 It's the best fucking thing you can ever use. 3002 02:38:15,460 --> 02:38:17,060 And it only costs $500. 3003 02:38:19,880 --> 02:38:22,380 It only costs $500 per piece. 3004 02:38:26,060 --> 02:38:28,780 ...of the popular game Cosmic. 3005 02:38:28,780 --> 02:38:44,920 Cawabunga, dudes. 3006 02:38:45,620 --> 02:38:47,000 Well, Cawabunga, dudes, 3007 02:38:47,060 --> 02:38:49,240 this is a great game called Cosmic Osmo. 3008 02:38:49,860 --> 02:38:51,340 And what is it about an ant? 3009 02:38:51,660 --> 02:38:53,860 Cool kind of dude who lives on planet ant. 3010 02:38:54,580 --> 02:38:56,360 And what you do with this guy is 3011 02:38:56,360 --> 02:38:58,140 you fucking control him with a gamepad. 3012 02:38:58,660 --> 02:39:00,180 And he's a cheeky little boy. 3013 02:39:00,880 --> 02:39:02,660 Now, next up is this finger box. 3014 02:39:03,200 --> 02:39:04,980 Now it's made in China. 3015 02:39:05,100 --> 02:39:07,220 You can get this down in Chinatown. 3016 02:39:07,700 --> 02:39:08,800 And it's a finger box. 3017 02:39:08,880 --> 02:39:09,960 You stick the fingers in it 3018 02:39:09,960 --> 02:39:11,560 and you press go 3019 02:39:11,560 --> 02:39:13,560 and plug it into the side hatch. 3020 02:39:13,940 --> 02:39:16,440 And it gives you a real good sensation on the fingers. 3021 02:39:16,720 --> 02:39:17,600 That's all I have for you. 3022 02:39:28,540 --> 02:39:29,260 Just as good as always. 3023 02:39:29,260 --> 02:39:32,520 We also have a real nice fractal program called Designer Fractals. 3024 02:39:32,520 --> 02:39:34,500 This lets you not only make your own fractals, 3025 02:39:34,620 --> 02:39:36,540 but make Mandel movies, they call it, 3026 02:39:36,540 --> 02:39:39,380 where you can actually zoom and pan around the Mandel across space. 3027 02:39:39,460 --> 02:39:41,300 It's something that's really, really fun. 3028 02:39:41,680 --> 02:39:42,640 This one I don't recall. 3029 02:39:42,760 --> 02:39:43,340 It's real cheap. 3030 02:39:43,400 --> 02:39:43,900 It's under $30. 3031 02:39:44,180 --> 02:39:44,980 I don't recall the price of it. 3032 02:39:45,540 --> 02:39:50,100 For HyperCard, Wild Things has just a bunch of X commands on there 3033 02:39:50,100 --> 02:39:52,120 that can let you do all sorts of really, really neat animation. 3034 02:39:53,420 --> 02:39:55,960 Handoff 2 is a really useful utility. 3035 02:39:56,420 --> 02:39:58,280 What this does is, first of all, it's a file launcher, 3036 02:39:58,400 --> 02:39:59,560 sort of like on cue. 3037 02:39:59,800 --> 02:40:01,220 But what it does in addition to that 3038 02:40:01,220 --> 02:40:03,480 is it actually lets you launch from the Finder 3039 02:40:03,480 --> 02:40:06,060 documents that don't have an application. 3040 02:40:06,140 --> 02:40:09,420 and it lets you set up a variety of those types of things. 3041 02:40:09,420 --> 02:40:09,660 Okay. 3042 02:40:09,660 --> 02:40:21,340 that don't have an application. 3043 02:40:21,340 --> 02:40:23,500 No! 3044 02:40:23,500 --> 02:40:23,680 No! 3045 02:40:23,680 --> 02:40:41,240 Where does this fucking dot? 3046 02:40:49,240 --> 02:40:50,080 Oh my god. 3047 02:40:50,080 --> 02:41:05,120 Just a hat. 3048 02:41:08,340 --> 02:41:09,360 He's just a hat. 3049 02:41:09,360 --> 02:41:23,200 Can I tell you what I've got for you? 3050 02:41:26,420 --> 02:41:28,160 Got a lovely piece of pudding here. 3051 02:41:29,460 --> 02:41:31,360 Now this will blow your socks off. 3052 02:41:32,260 --> 02:41:34,640 It's called the painting cat. 3053 02:41:36,300 --> 02:41:37,720 It's a lovely bit of software. 3054 02:41:39,120 --> 02:41:39,960 I can't see. 3055 02:41:40,240 --> 02:41:41,840 I can't see any further than that. 3056 02:41:41,900 --> 02:41:42,940 It's a lovely piece of software. 3057 02:41:43,880 --> 02:41:44,920 You get that loaded up, 3058 02:41:45,460 --> 02:41:46,500 it'll last you a lifetime. 3059 02:41:46,660 --> 02:41:48,660 Now this is the Holy Bible 2. 3060 02:41:49,320 --> 02:41:50,920 It's a brand new Bible. 3061 02:41:51,320 --> 02:41:52,060 The Jesus book. 3062 02:41:52,880 --> 02:41:54,120 A lot of these books... 3063 02:41:56,780 --> 02:41:57,940 The Holy Bible 2. 3064 02:41:58,060 --> 02:41:58,840 It's a Jesus book. 3065 02:41:59,300 --> 02:42:00,100 Now a lot of these books, 3066 02:42:00,180 --> 02:42:02,340 they have a tendency to go all over the place, 3067 02:42:02,460 --> 02:42:04,160 wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy. 3068 02:42:04,300 --> 02:42:05,200 But this is sensational. 3069 02:42:05,320 --> 02:42:06,060 I fucking love it. 3070 02:42:06,420 --> 02:42:07,400 And that's $12.99. 3071 02:42:07,860 --> 02:42:09,300 You can get that on the internet. 3072 02:42:09,460 --> 02:42:12,140 But the internet hasn't been invented yet. 3073 02:42:12,960 --> 02:42:15,540 Now this is my personal favourite, 3074 02:42:15,740 --> 02:42:16,520 wild things. 3075 02:42:17,020 --> 02:42:19,200 It's about a couple of tigers in love 3076 02:42:19,200 --> 02:42:20,400 under a palm tree on an island. 3077 02:42:20,860 --> 02:42:21,540 Fucking love that. 3078 02:42:21,640 --> 02:42:22,380 Beautiful stuff. 3079 02:42:22,780 --> 02:42:23,720 It's a great night out. 3080 02:42:23,960 --> 02:42:25,920 It's a great night in with the cats, 3081 02:42:26,000 --> 02:42:26,440 I call it. 3082 02:42:27,400 --> 02:42:29,260 This is handoff 2. 3083 02:42:30,180 --> 02:42:30,440 Now, 3084 02:42:31,340 --> 02:42:33,420 not as good as handoff 1. 3085 02:42:33,880 --> 02:42:35,800 But it has all the hallmarks 3086 02:42:35,800 --> 02:42:37,500 of a great handoff. 3087 02:42:38,120 --> 02:42:38,820 Do you understand that? 3088 02:42:38,920 --> 02:42:39,480 Do you know what I mean? 3089 02:42:39,720 --> 02:42:39,880 Good. 3090 02:42:40,000 --> 02:42:40,100 Good. 3091 02:42:40,340 --> 02:42:41,240 We're clear on that. 3092 02:42:41,320 --> 02:42:42,200 As long as we're clear on that. 3093 02:42:42,260 --> 02:42:42,700 What's next? 3094 02:42:43,060 --> 02:42:43,720 It's up there. 3095 02:42:43,780 --> 02:42:44,140 See ya. 3096 02:42:45,820 --> 02:42:46,980 Now this is an axe. 3097 02:42:47,340 --> 02:42:48,080 This is a person. 3098 02:42:52,080 --> 02:42:52,440 Now, 3099 02:42:53,040 --> 02:42:54,140 what have I got for you next? 3100 02:42:54,320 --> 02:42:54,620 I'll tell you. 3101 02:42:55,060 --> 02:42:55,860 This is fantastic. 3102 02:42:56,020 --> 02:42:57,140 It's a fucking shark fin. 3103 02:42:57,680 --> 02:42:59,080 You plug that into the computer. 3104 02:42:59,300 --> 02:42:59,660 You can't, 3105 02:42:59,700 --> 02:43:00,720 you pull it out the box 3106 02:43:00,720 --> 02:43:02,740 and it sits on your computer like that 3107 02:43:02,740 --> 02:43:04,580 and your computer becomes a shark. 3108 02:43:04,960 --> 02:43:06,080 It's a great bit of business. 3109 02:43:06,240 --> 02:43:07,020 It's a crazy bit of business. 3110 02:43:07,720 --> 02:43:08,160 Finally, 3111 02:43:09,000 --> 02:43:09,580 my favourite, 3112 02:43:10,640 --> 02:43:11,500 click and collect. 3113 02:43:11,980 --> 02:43:13,360 We won't talk more about that 3114 02:43:13,360 --> 02:43:14,120 because it's boring. 3115 02:43:14,820 --> 02:43:16,320 I want to show you something here 3116 02:43:16,320 --> 02:43:17,000 on the screen here. 3117 02:43:17,080 --> 02:43:18,480 I downloaded this off the internet 3118 02:43:18,480 --> 02:43:19,200 there last week. 3119 02:43:20,080 --> 02:43:20,280 Now, 3120 02:43:21,660 --> 02:43:23,600 we find this for you. 3121 02:43:24,700 --> 02:43:26,600 I was dying to show you this 3122 02:43:26,600 --> 02:43:28,260 the last day, Stuart, 3123 02:43:28,720 --> 02:43:29,960 but you weren't there. 3124 02:43:30,380 --> 02:43:31,720 You never came down to the bell. 3125 02:43:32,820 --> 02:43:33,040 Now, 3126 02:43:33,320 --> 02:43:34,760 Johnny had this loaded up 3127 02:43:34,760 --> 02:43:35,940 and I told him, 3128 02:43:36,100 --> 02:43:37,280 Stuart needs to see this now. 3129 02:43:37,340 --> 02:43:38,460 I'm going to show him on his show 3130 02:43:38,460 --> 02:43:39,320 when he gets me on. 3131 02:43:40,180 --> 02:43:41,040 What it is, 3132 02:43:41,120 --> 02:43:43,020 is a crazy piece of software. 3133 02:43:44,160 --> 02:43:44,760 You get the, 3134 02:43:44,860 --> 02:43:46,200 you open up the box there 3135 02:43:46,200 --> 02:43:47,940 and it's a fucking slider on it. 3136 02:43:48,760 --> 02:43:49,140 I tell you, 3137 02:43:49,220 --> 02:43:49,440 you can, 3138 02:43:49,480 --> 02:43:50,660 you can control the slider 3139 02:43:50,660 --> 02:43:51,440 if you want. 3140 02:43:52,100 --> 02:43:53,480 You can drag and drop all the stuff 3141 02:43:53,480 --> 02:43:54,540 and it's got left or dark. 3142 02:43:54,860 --> 02:43:56,260 It's a lot of screen savers 3143 02:43:56,260 --> 02:43:57,280 and they're very cheeky. 3144 02:43:57,340 --> 02:43:58,940 A lot of them are cheeky. 3145 02:43:59,080 --> 02:44:00,640 It's ones with animals on it. 3146 02:44:00,780 --> 02:44:02,140 You can change as well 3147 02:44:02,140 --> 02:44:03,660 if you scroll down to the window. 3148 02:44:05,320 --> 02:44:07,160 This opens up another box, 3149 02:44:07,300 --> 02:44:08,080 a magic box 3150 02:44:08,080 --> 02:44:09,660 of different examples. 3151 02:44:10,380 --> 02:44:11,580 You can change the interface, 3152 02:44:11,740 --> 02:44:13,080 the GUI of your computer, 3153 02:44:13,320 --> 02:44:13,800 the graphical, 3154 02:44:14,000 --> 02:44:15,000 user interface. 3155 02:44:15,180 --> 02:44:16,580 You can cancel it if you want, 3156 02:44:16,640 --> 02:44:17,440 if you don't like that. 3157 02:44:17,920 --> 02:44:18,960 And you can change the cursor 3158 02:44:18,960 --> 02:44:19,840 into stuff as well. 3159 02:44:20,280 --> 02:44:21,680 I changed mine into a, 3160 02:44:21,680 --> 02:44:23,380 an egg timer 3161 02:44:23,380 --> 02:44:24,160 for last night. 3162 02:44:24,620 --> 02:44:25,480 I've got another one here. 3163 02:44:25,600 --> 02:44:27,320 It changes it into a maggot. 3164 02:44:28,060 --> 02:44:29,040 This is this, 3165 02:44:29,160 --> 02:44:31,420 it changes it into a Pac-Man. 3166 02:44:31,680 --> 02:44:32,280 You know that fella 3167 02:44:32,280 --> 02:44:33,280 out the games, 3168 02:44:33,440 --> 02:44:33,700 you do. 3169 02:44:34,400 --> 02:44:34,660 No, 3170 02:44:34,740 --> 02:44:35,680 it's fantastic. 3171 02:44:36,120 --> 02:44:36,680 It's great. 3172 02:44:36,780 --> 02:44:38,180 I had hours of fun with this now. 3173 02:44:41,460 --> 02:44:42,000 I tell you, 3174 02:44:42,120 --> 02:44:42,240 I've, 3175 02:44:42,460 --> 02:44:42,460 I, 3176 02:44:42,460 --> 02:44:44,460 I, 3177 02:44:44,460 --> 02:44:46,160 I had hours of fun 3178 02:44:46,160 --> 02:44:47,000 playing with this. 3179 02:44:48,160 --> 02:44:49,140 It's called click change. 3180 02:44:50,100 --> 02:44:51,920 What you do is you change the autumn, 3181 02:44:51,980 --> 02:44:52,960 you change the seasons. 3182 02:44:53,220 --> 02:44:54,160 It changes the seasons 3183 02:44:54,160 --> 02:44:55,040 of your computer 3184 02:44:55,040 --> 02:44:55,900 to pick the seasons. 3185 02:44:56,160 --> 02:44:56,320 So it's, 3186 02:44:56,380 --> 02:44:56,900 if it's winter, 3187 02:44:57,320 --> 02:44:58,320 changes it to a different color. 3188 02:44:58,720 --> 02:44:59,240 If it's autumn, 3189 02:44:59,660 --> 02:45:00,480 changes it to autumn. 3190 02:45:00,920 --> 02:45:02,340 And that's all I've got for you now. 3191 02:45:04,960 --> 02:45:06,220 It's something I want to show up there. 3192 02:45:06,580 --> 02:45:07,520 A couple of quick things. 3193 02:45:07,640 --> 02:45:09,200 Everybody virtually owns Print Shop, right? 3194 02:45:09,920 --> 02:45:10,560 Here's a book 3195 02:45:10,560 --> 02:45:11,560 that only costs about $20. 3196 02:45:11,960 --> 02:45:13,240 It's the Bible for Print Shop, 3197 02:45:13,340 --> 02:45:13,940 both for the Mac 3198 02:45:13,940 --> 02:45:14,520 or for the PC. 3199 02:45:14,620 --> 02:45:15,020 It doesn't matter. 3200 02:45:15,280 --> 02:45:16,120 Finally brings together 3201 02:45:16,120 --> 02:45:16,520 in the back 3202 02:45:16,520 --> 02:45:17,580 all the clip art 3203 02:45:17,580 --> 02:45:18,660 on all the different discs 3204 02:45:18,660 --> 02:45:19,140 that you've bought 3205 02:45:19,140 --> 02:45:20,220 over the years for Print Shop. 3206 02:45:20,740 --> 02:45:22,140 Lots of different ideas 3207 02:45:22,140 --> 02:45:22,780 on how to design 3208 02:45:22,780 --> 02:45:23,660 nice looking things 3209 02:45:23,660 --> 02:45:24,240 with Print Shop. 3210 02:45:24,500 --> 02:45:24,980 A very nice, 3211 02:45:25,120 --> 02:45:25,920 inexpensive gift. 3212 02:45:26,000 --> 02:45:26,840 This is one of my favorites 3213 02:45:26,840 --> 02:45:27,620 called Lifeguard. 3214 02:45:27,880 --> 02:45:29,140 We were talking about screen savers. 3215 02:45:29,280 --> 02:45:29,800 This I would call 3216 02:45:29,800 --> 02:45:30,600 a body saver. 3217 02:45:31,000 --> 02:45:31,140 Okay? 3218 02:45:31,480 --> 02:45:32,380 A body saver. 3219 02:45:32,380 --> 02:45:32,660 This is a great program. 3220 02:45:32,800 --> 02:45:34,240 It forces you to stop working 3221 02:45:34,240 --> 02:45:35,200 every now and then. 3222 02:45:35,660 --> 02:45:36,280 What you do, 3223 02:45:36,360 --> 02:45:36,980 you set up Lifeguard 3224 02:45:36,980 --> 02:45:37,260 and you say, 3225 02:45:37,400 --> 02:45:38,140 after every 45 minutes, 3226 02:45:38,220 --> 02:45:39,560 I want to take a 10-minute break. 3227 02:45:39,880 --> 02:45:40,200 Okay? 3228 02:45:40,280 --> 02:45:40,920 And it forces you 3229 02:45:40,920 --> 02:45:42,020 to pre-program what you want to do. 3230 02:45:42,060 --> 02:45:43,280 A little muscle exercise 3231 02:45:43,280 --> 02:45:44,100 to rest your wrists, 3232 02:45:44,220 --> 02:45:44,720 your eyes, 3233 02:45:45,020 --> 02:45:45,620 play a game, 3234 02:45:45,760 --> 02:45:46,540 walk away, whatever. 3235 02:45:46,680 --> 02:45:47,980 It forces you to stop working 3236 02:45:47,980 --> 02:45:48,660 called Lifeguard. 3237 02:45:49,040 --> 02:45:49,900 A great little program, 3238 02:45:49,980 --> 02:45:51,820 about $79 from Visionary Software. 3239 02:45:52,460 --> 02:45:53,700 These are these wonderful, 3240 02:45:53,840 --> 02:45:55,080 wonderful children's stories 3241 02:45:55,080 --> 02:45:56,640 on CD-ROM from Discus. 3242 02:45:57,140 --> 02:45:57,820 I want to show you 3243 02:45:57,820 --> 02:45:58,560 one of them right now, 3244 02:45:58,640 --> 02:45:59,020 Cinderella, 3245 02:45:59,220 --> 02:46:00,040 and this is really lovely. 3246 02:46:00,140 --> 02:46:00,820 It's up on the machine. 3247 02:46:00,960 --> 02:46:02,300 It's a hyper card kind of thing. 3248 02:46:02,400 --> 02:46:03,360 You can click on a character. 3249 02:46:03,520 --> 02:46:05,100 Cinderella. 3250 02:46:05,260 --> 02:46:06,780 And find out who the character is, 3251 02:46:06,860 --> 02:46:07,720 et cetera, et cetera. 3252 02:46:08,680 --> 02:46:09,040 Stepmother. 3253 02:46:09,300 --> 02:46:10,260 You can read the book 3254 02:46:10,260 --> 02:46:11,800 if you'd like over here, 3255 02:46:11,860 --> 02:46:13,000 or you can ask the computer 3256 02:46:13,000 --> 02:46:14,040 to read the book for you, 3257 02:46:14,100 --> 02:46:14,700 for your child. 3258 02:46:16,360 --> 02:46:17,400 His young daughter 3259 02:46:17,400 --> 02:46:18,420 was such a kind 3260 02:46:18,420 --> 02:46:19,360 and pretty girl. 3261 02:46:20,100 --> 02:46:21,200 But her stepmother 3262 02:46:21,200 --> 02:46:21,420 hated her. 3263 02:46:21,420 --> 02:46:22,560 And now suppose your child 3264 02:46:22,560 --> 02:46:23,020 doesn't understand... 3265 02:46:23,020 --> 02:46:24,860 Why would Stu be into this? 3266 02:46:25,680 --> 02:46:26,760 ...understand one of those words. 3267 02:46:26,820 --> 02:46:27,640 You can go back in 3268 02:46:27,640 --> 02:46:28,420 and double-click 3269 02:46:28,420 --> 02:46:29,320 on one of the words. 3270 02:46:30,760 --> 02:46:31,940 Tommy Chronicles, 3271 02:46:32,040 --> 02:46:32,760 thank you very much. 3272 02:46:32,880 --> 02:46:33,500 And Schultz, 3273 02:46:33,660 --> 02:46:34,560 and Thomasina, 3274 02:46:34,680 --> 02:46:35,320 thank you very much. 3275 02:46:35,360 --> 02:46:36,380 Jeez, I missed a few people here. 3276 02:46:37,160 --> 02:46:38,160 Computer Tomicles, 3277 02:46:38,760 --> 02:46:39,360 Jay Rizla, 3278 02:46:39,440 --> 02:46:40,320 thank you very much. 3279 02:46:41,040 --> 02:46:41,440 Monrad, 3280 02:46:41,540 --> 02:46:42,500 thank you very, very much. 3281 02:46:43,660 --> 02:46:45,220 And Return of the Mac. 3282 02:46:46,000 --> 02:46:46,660 And Tommy Mac, 3283 02:46:46,720 --> 02:46:47,400 thank you very much. 3284 02:46:47,620 --> 02:46:48,660 And thanks very much, Tom, 3285 02:46:48,700 --> 02:46:49,000 as well. 3286 02:46:49,040 --> 02:46:50,620 No bother. 3287 02:46:51,420 --> 02:46:53,500 It did bring memories back, 3288 02:46:53,560 --> 02:46:54,040 to be honest. 3289 02:46:55,000 --> 02:46:56,380 It did bring a lot of memories back. 3290 02:46:56,380 --> 02:46:56,640 Mother. 3291 02:46:58,780 --> 02:47:07,640 What about that? 3292 02:47:07,700 --> 02:47:08,280 Shark's Fit. 3293 02:47:08,680 --> 02:47:09,740 Because it has a hundred... 3294 02:47:09,740 --> 02:47:10,960 G-Man, thank you very much. 3295 02:47:11,020 --> 02:47:11,560 What about that? 3296 02:47:11,640 --> 02:47:12,220 Shark's Fit. 3297 02:47:16,220 --> 02:47:16,840 I've always believed 3298 02:47:16,840 --> 02:47:18,200 F. Scott Fitzgerald was right, 3299 02:47:18,280 --> 02:47:19,580 that there are no second acts 3300 02:47:19,580 --> 02:47:20,300 in American lives. 3301 02:47:20,400 --> 02:47:21,840 But Mitch Kapoor is out to prove 3302 02:47:21,840 --> 02:47:23,520 me and F. Scott Fitzgerald wrong. 3303 02:47:23,940 --> 02:47:25,460 The founder of Lotus 1-2-3 3304 02:47:25,460 --> 02:47:27,300 now has Kapoor Technologies, Inc. 3305 02:47:27,360 --> 02:47:29,840 and On Location 3306 02:47:29,840 --> 02:47:30,740 is the first product 3307 02:47:30,740 --> 02:47:31,440 from On Technology. 3308 02:47:31,560 --> 02:47:32,140 It's $75. 3309 02:47:32,720 --> 02:47:34,740 And it's great packaging, 3310 02:47:34,880 --> 02:47:35,300 by the way. 3311 02:47:35,980 --> 02:47:37,680 It's including a little section 3312 02:47:37,680 --> 02:47:38,680 in here on the fine print 3313 02:47:38,680 --> 02:47:39,800 that our lawyers made us include. 3314 02:47:39,980 --> 02:47:41,140 It's a navigation tool. 3315 02:47:41,280 --> 02:47:42,460 It helps you find the files 3316 02:47:42,460 --> 02:47:43,580 that you've lost somewhere 3317 02:47:43,580 --> 02:47:44,440 on your Macintosh. 3318 02:47:44,620 --> 02:47:45,720 So I think that's terrific. 3319 02:47:46,300 --> 02:47:48,380 Sky Shadow is $40. 3320 02:47:48,960 --> 02:47:50,480 It's from Cassidy and Green 3321 02:47:50,480 --> 02:47:51,680 in Carmel, California. 3322 02:47:51,940 --> 02:47:52,360 Sky Shadow. 3323 02:47:52,360 --> 02:47:53,240 And these people who watched 3324 02:47:53,240 --> 02:47:54,120 Crystal Quest. 3325 02:47:54,240 --> 02:47:55,880 Now they have yet another 3326 02:47:55,880 --> 02:47:57,300 interesting addictive game 3327 02:47:57,300 --> 02:47:58,100 lots of fun stuff. 3328 02:47:58,100 --> 02:47:59,180 Oh, I can't wait to see this. 3329 02:47:59,360 --> 02:48:01,060 It looks like a side-scrolling 3330 02:48:01,060 --> 02:48:02,300 spaceship. 3331 02:48:02,780 --> 02:48:03,240 Sound effects. 3332 02:48:03,760 --> 02:48:05,700 And I embarrassed myself 3333 02:48:05,700 --> 02:48:07,260 last year playing Crystal Quest 3334 02:48:07,260 --> 02:48:08,120 on the Christmas show. 3335 02:48:08,840 --> 02:48:10,280 DJ Mizzenmast. 3336 02:48:10,360 --> 02:48:11,380 Thank you very much. 3337 02:48:11,800 --> 02:48:13,020 The Mizzenmast. 3338 02:48:13,080 --> 02:48:14,720 My nine-year-old and my six-year-old 3339 02:48:14,720 --> 02:48:14,940 said, 3340 02:48:15,040 --> 02:48:16,220 Daddy, how could you do so badly? 3341 02:48:16,280 --> 02:48:17,620 So this is the automated demo. 3342 02:48:17,840 --> 02:48:18,940 But you can fire forward, 3343 02:48:19,040 --> 02:48:20,140 you can fire from behind. 3344 02:48:20,140 --> 02:48:22,420 And it's got that same sense of humor, 3345 02:48:22,580 --> 02:48:23,420 cute sound effects, 3346 02:48:23,500 --> 02:48:24,120 a lot of action, 3347 02:48:24,200 --> 02:48:25,180 and it's not just 3348 02:48:25,180 --> 02:48:27,100 another things dropping out of the sky 3349 02:48:27,100 --> 02:48:28,340 and you shoot at them sort of game. 3350 02:48:28,700 --> 02:48:29,300 Clever and fine. 3351 02:48:29,300 --> 02:48:30,000 Nine mil jill. 3352 02:48:30,180 --> 02:48:31,000 Thank you very much. 3353 02:48:31,000 --> 02:48:31,600 It's one of the best Mac games 3354 02:48:31,600 --> 02:48:32,400 in this new season. 3355 02:48:32,700 --> 02:48:33,400 All right, Paul, thank you. 3356 02:48:33,420 --> 02:48:34,320 About 30 seconds left. 3357 02:48:34,420 --> 02:48:35,300 Andrew, what else do you want 3358 02:48:35,300 --> 02:48:35,780 to add to the mix? 3359 02:48:35,780 --> 02:48:36,320 What do you got? 3360 02:48:36,360 --> 02:48:37,540 Stuart, don't forget the other 3361 02:48:37,540 --> 02:48:38,660 two new Macintoshers. 3362 02:48:44,840 --> 02:48:45,840 We're ready to go again? 3363 02:48:47,840 --> 02:48:48,540 Go for it, Tam. 3364 02:48:49,460 --> 02:48:50,580 The mic is hot. 3365 02:48:50,580 --> 02:48:51,380 The mic is clear. 3366 02:48:51,380 --> 02:49:21,360 Well, you have heard from me, 3367 02:49:21,360 --> 02:49:23,260 before, and we're back again. 3368 02:49:26,820 --> 02:49:27,700 That's it, Stu. 3369 02:49:27,800 --> 02:49:29,200 I got fucking stewed. 3370 02:49:29,580 --> 02:49:31,560 Stu, you didn't really give me 3371 02:49:31,560 --> 02:49:32,480 much time there, Francis. 3372 02:49:33,600 --> 02:49:34,380 No problem. 3373 02:49:34,800 --> 02:49:36,340 You did well enough before, Tam. 3374 02:49:36,380 --> 02:49:36,920 Thanks very much. 3375 02:49:37,740 --> 02:49:38,840 We'd like to wish you 3376 02:49:38,840 --> 02:49:40,440 a very happy holiday season. 3377 02:49:40,600 --> 02:49:41,500 Stay tuned now, though, 3378 02:49:41,560 --> 02:49:43,040 for this week's computer news. 3379 02:49:43,040 --> 02:50:04,120 Let's just see the names of that. 3380 02:50:04,200 --> 02:50:05,220 The shark fin one is. 3381 02:50:05,320 --> 02:50:06,040 The shark fin one is. 3382 02:50:06,040 --> 02:50:09,200 Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? 3383 02:50:10,380 --> 02:50:11,840 CD-ROM. 3384 02:50:12,380 --> 02:50:13,280 CD-ROM player. 3385 02:50:14,720 --> 02:50:15,780 Cosmic Osmo. 3386 02:50:15,960 --> 02:50:16,240 Sim. 3387 02:50:16,440 --> 02:50:17,440 Amanda Stories. 3388 02:50:17,900 --> 02:50:18,840 Designer Frackle. 3389 02:50:18,920 --> 02:50:19,520 Wild Thing. 3390 02:50:19,620 --> 02:50:20,320 Hand off to. 3391 02:50:20,440 --> 02:50:21,260 Protector Shark. 3392 02:50:21,760 --> 02:50:23,860 50 quid for Protector Shark. 3393 02:50:24,680 --> 02:50:27,180 What an absolute Scrooge ripoff. 3394 02:50:29,180 --> 02:50:30,560 50 fucking quid for that. 3395 02:50:30,640 --> 02:50:31,600 What does it even do? 3396 02:50:31,880 --> 02:50:32,820 Click change. 3397 02:50:33,840 --> 02:50:34,280 Handbook. 3398 02:50:34,440 --> 02:50:34,880 Cinderella. 3399 02:50:35,100 --> 02:50:35,580 Mac user. 3400 02:50:35,720 --> 02:50:36,300 On location. 3401 02:50:37,460 --> 02:50:38,760 Thank you very much there. 3402 02:50:38,880 --> 02:50:40,400 RS for the tip there. 3403 02:50:40,500 --> 02:50:41,500 Computer Tomicles. 3404 02:50:42,160 --> 02:50:43,340 And random access. 3405 02:50:43,540 --> 02:50:44,240 Thank you very much. 3406 02:50:46,120 --> 02:50:46,500 Thanking. 3407 02:50:46,560 --> 02:50:47,660 I'm actually thanking computer. 3408 02:50:47,800 --> 02:50:49,380 Is that Janelle Stelson there? 3409 02:50:51,000 --> 02:50:53,960 It's none other than Kate Megarigi. 3410 02:50:54,240 --> 02:50:54,840 Megargi. 3411 02:50:55,300 --> 02:50:58,420 The merger of video and computers moved a giant step closer. 3412 02:50:58,420 --> 02:50:59,180 Good boys. 3413 02:50:59,340 --> 02:51:01,020 As chips and technologies began. 3414 02:51:01,440 --> 02:51:02,380 Good boys. 3415 02:51:08,020 --> 02:51:09,220 Good boys. 3416 02:51:09,900 --> 02:51:10,860 Plug edition. 3417 02:51:14,740 --> 02:51:16,220 Another one of these guys. 3418 02:51:16,220 --> 02:51:21,160 Thank you very much there. 3419 02:51:21,420 --> 02:51:22,280 Captain Sack. 3420 02:51:23,680 --> 02:51:25,460 Very, very kind of you. 3421 02:51:25,620 --> 02:51:26,600 Captain Sack. 3422 02:51:36,280 --> 02:51:38,080 Is chip your real name? 3423 02:51:38,160 --> 02:51:38,720 Video chip? 3424 02:51:38,720 --> 02:51:39,720 Wow. 3425 02:51:39,720 --> 02:51:39,720 Wow. 3426 02:51:39,720 --> 02:51:40,720 Wow. 3427 02:51:40,720 --> 02:51:47,520 The video chip is already being used in a new PC video board being sold by New Media Graphics Corporation. 3428 02:51:47,980 --> 02:51:50,820 The video card will sell for just $695. 3429 02:51:51,700 --> 02:51:55,720 That's about one-third the cost of the competing products, which have been on the market until now. 3430 02:51:56,120 --> 02:51:59,960 The video chip does memory timing, color keying, and frame buffering. 3431 02:52:00,360 --> 02:52:04,860 The new video board will support NTSC, PAL, and SVHS formats. 3432 02:52:05,220 --> 02:52:10,000 Intel says it will ship its new supercomputer, the Touchstone Delta, next spring. 3433 02:52:10,540 --> 02:52:13,880 The Intel supercomputer uses over 500 i860... 3434 02:52:13,880 --> 02:52:15,700 The new thing I'm obsessed with is this. 3435 02:52:15,840 --> 02:52:21,040 ...to achieve a theoretical top speed of 30 billion floating point operations per second. 3436 02:52:21,420 --> 02:52:24,460 The supercomputer will cost over $15 million... 3437 02:52:24,460 --> 02:52:33,860 Are you there, Tom? 3438 02:52:34,320 --> 02:52:34,840 I am, yeah. 3439 02:52:34,840 --> 02:52:35,720 Can you clean the mic up? 3440 02:52:38,300 --> 02:52:39,300 Take it away, Tom. 3441 02:52:39,780 --> 02:52:40,780 ...be installed at the... 3442 02:52:40,780 --> 02:52:43,920 Now... 3443 02:52:43,920 --> 02:52:48,160 First things first, we've got a couple of lovely lads. 3444 02:52:48,500 --> 02:52:49,440 These are great boys. 3445 02:52:49,920 --> 02:52:50,900 Chip and Sonic. 3446 02:52:51,500 --> 02:52:52,240 Lovely hounds. 3447 02:52:52,560 --> 02:52:54,440 And they're available to you if you want to buy them. 3448 02:52:54,840 --> 02:52:55,480 They're rescues. 3449 02:52:56,160 --> 02:52:58,100 They're good guys, but they haven't been house trained. 3450 02:52:58,620 --> 02:53:02,020 You need to teach them how to piss and shit outside the house. 3451 02:53:02,560 --> 02:53:06,040 I was mining them for a few days, and I had to fucking give them straight back. 3452 02:53:06,480 --> 02:53:07,500 Because they wrecked the head. 3453 02:53:07,640 --> 02:53:09,460 But they're good boys, and they have lovely hearts. 3454 02:53:10,000 --> 02:53:16,500 And they come with a free videotape as well, which is a video of their antics back in the past. 3455 02:53:17,220 --> 02:53:17,940 Chip and Sonic. 3456 02:53:18,560 --> 02:53:19,200 Available now. 3457 02:53:20,880 --> 02:53:22,860 Coming up, a lovely piece of technology. 3458 02:53:23,080 --> 02:53:25,860 I got the car boot down in Ballinersloe there two weeks back. 3459 02:53:26,320 --> 02:53:31,180 It was a fella with a horse cart, and he had this big computer york in the back of the trailer. 3460 02:53:31,660 --> 02:53:33,380 And I was asking him, what's that about? 3461 02:53:33,940 --> 02:53:34,880 Is it for sale? 3462 02:53:35,600 --> 02:53:38,120 I said, it's for sale, but I can't just tell you what it's about. 3463 02:53:38,780 --> 02:53:39,740 I said, I'll take it. 3464 02:53:39,840 --> 02:53:40,380 How much? 3465 02:53:40,800 --> 02:53:41,500 He said, $200. 3466 02:53:43,720 --> 02:53:49,860 PCs and laptops are expensive, and they're getting pricier as well, with the Winter Edition content setting in. 3467 02:53:50,040 --> 02:53:56,580 My advice to you, save the money and spend it on heating and house appliances. 3468 02:53:57,180 --> 02:53:58,100 Tech is dead, baby. 3469 02:53:58,460 --> 02:54:00,000 It's all about keeping warm this Christmas. 3470 02:54:00,840 --> 02:54:07,280 And if you think that's a lie, just try and buy a laptop and see how warm you are around the tree on Christmas Day. 3471 02:54:07,620 --> 02:54:10,400 Not that warm at all, because the laptop won't be warm. 3472 02:54:11,340 --> 02:54:15,440 Now, if you're after a low-cost workstation, this is what you need. 3473 02:54:16,140 --> 02:54:20,220 I got this off a fella again in Ballin' Slow two weeks last Friday. 3474 02:54:21,000 --> 02:54:23,920 It was the same fella, but it was his brother. 3475 02:54:24,780 --> 02:54:29,780 He had another fella with a horse cart and a horse box, and he said $200 for that as well. 3476 02:54:30,480 --> 02:54:32,480 Now, it's time for the software top 10. 3477 02:54:35,100 --> 02:54:36,500 Number one, After Dark. 3478 02:54:36,960 --> 02:54:37,340 Two. 3479 02:54:38,240 --> 02:54:39,080 Distubbler, three. 3480 02:54:39,420 --> 02:54:39,700 Three. 3481 02:54:40,020 --> 02:54:40,660 Sam, two. 3482 02:54:41,060 --> 02:54:41,400 Four. 3483 02:54:41,520 --> 02:54:42,860 Adobe Type Manager, two. 3484 02:54:43,200 --> 02:54:43,720 And five. 3485 02:54:43,860 --> 02:54:44,740 Mac Utilities. 3486 02:54:46,160 --> 02:54:46,600 Six. 3487 02:54:46,760 --> 02:54:48,440 Quicken for the Mac 1.5. 3488 02:54:48,560 --> 02:54:48,880 Seven. 3489 02:54:49,060 --> 02:54:50,240 FileMaker Pro. 3490 02:54:50,700 --> 02:54:50,900 Eight. 3491 02:54:50,960 --> 02:54:52,140 Microsoft Word 4B. 3492 02:54:52,860 --> 02:54:53,220 Nine. 3493 02:54:53,320 --> 02:54:53,700 Suitcase. 3494 02:54:53,700 --> 02:54:55,780 And the classics are sold out. 3495 02:54:56,020 --> 02:54:57,840 This is the news of the holiday season. 3496 02:54:58,360 --> 02:54:59,440 It's a shit situation. 3497 02:54:59,960 --> 02:55:02,920 You're not going to be able to get your hands on the brand new Mac. 3498 02:55:03,360 --> 02:55:08,360 So, as I said before, you might as well put the money towards the electricity and the gas, 3499 02:55:08,800 --> 02:55:11,560 or even buy a sack of peat. 3500 02:55:13,240 --> 02:55:14,100 3D Studio. 3501 02:55:14,340 --> 02:55:22,640 This is a quality piece of software that I've been using night after night when the moon is in the sky. 3502 02:55:23,000 --> 02:55:26,560 It's a lovely, lovely piece of science technology, 3503 02:55:26,960 --> 02:55:31,060 which tells you how desks worked back in Copernicus' time. 3504 02:55:31,660 --> 02:55:35,680 It will also tell you how you can manufacture your own desk if you've got the time and the know-how. 3505 02:55:36,180 --> 02:55:37,780 That's all for today's Random Access. 3506 02:55:38,320 --> 02:55:40,980 I've been Janelle Schlug, and that's all for now. 3507 02:55:41,220 --> 02:55:43,020 Thank you very much, and we'll see you later. 3508 02:55:43,160 --> 02:55:45,680 Have a lovely Christmas, and that's all from us. 3509 02:55:46,060 --> 02:55:48,460 If you want to have a lovely Christmas, just have one. 3510 02:55:49,000 --> 02:55:49,660 Just have one. 3511 02:55:50,000 --> 02:55:51,520 It's all in the eye of the beholder. 3512 02:55:51,520 --> 02:55:53,980 You don't need all the money in the world. 3513 02:55:54,380 --> 02:55:57,540 You don't need lots of shiny presents. 3514 02:55:58,480 --> 02:56:00,060 We've still got some more news, actually. 3515 02:56:00,520 --> 02:56:01,320 Windows degree. 3516 02:56:01,440 --> 02:56:02,120 How about that? 3517 02:56:02,380 --> 02:56:03,220 You went to college. 3518 02:56:03,460 --> 02:56:03,940 It's useless. 3519 02:56:04,140 --> 02:56:05,780 Tear it up and throw it in the bin. 3520 02:56:06,160 --> 02:56:08,840 If you've not got a Windows degree, you need to get one. 3521 02:56:09,660 --> 02:56:14,680 This is the degree that all business people want to see when you go for a job. 3522 02:56:15,300 --> 02:56:19,360 It doesn't matter whether you were in school or you were in secondary school or you went to college. 3523 02:56:19,620 --> 02:56:21,980 What they want to know is, do you have Windows degree? 3524 02:56:22,180 --> 02:56:23,260 That's all from me anyway. 3525 02:56:23,380 --> 02:56:24,200 Have a lovely Christmas. 3526 02:56:30,200 --> 02:56:31,620 Computer Chronicles. 3527 02:56:31,620 --> 02:56:34,780 Computer Chronicles was brought to you by the Software Publishers Association. 3528 02:56:34,780 --> 02:56:37,840 Remember, don't copy that floppy. 3529 02:56:38,840 --> 02:56:40,400 In association with Byte. 3530 02:56:40,920 --> 02:56:41,420 Bates. 3531 02:56:43,160 --> 02:56:46,040 Computer Chronicles transcripts are available for $4. 3532 02:56:46,120 --> 02:56:54,600 Please send status as available to PDF publications, PO Box 701, Kent, Ohio, 44240. 3533 02:56:54,600 --> 02:57:04,680 Thank you for watching Francis Higgins streams on YouTube. 3534 02:57:05,760 --> 02:57:08,920 It's been a pleasure and hope to see you again soon. 3535 02:57:10,820 --> 02:57:13,900 Please take care and have a safe, cheery home. 3536 02:57:14,600 --> 02:57:17,860 Or if you're still at home, have a safe sleep. 3537 02:57:18,460 --> 02:57:21,480 If you're not sleeping, just have a safe. 3538 02:57:21,480 --> 02:57:28,700 And remember, don't copy the floppy. 3539 02:57:30,660 --> 02:57:31,180 Good night. 3540 02:57:32,400 --> 02:57:33,500 And jobless.