1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:23,440 Apologies about that, I didn't have the shades on. I don't know why actually, I spent the 10 minutes before coming on stream just looking in the mirror trying to pretend to be Connor Williams for a bit. Didn't work out for me and thought I'm going to do a Stuart Chaffee stream. So this is just the way it is. And that was just an impression that was terrible. Absolutely terrible. 2 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:50,360 Personal website. We'll give you some basic rules for designing a good looking website. We'll show you one of the best web design software packages that makes it easy to create your own site. And we'll even tell you how to add streaming audio to your site. Plus some new technology to speed up those graphic downloads. Some tips on how to get Yahoo to list your site on their search engine. And some advice on how to make your website accessible to the disabled. Also my pick of the week. It's all coming. 3 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:58,260 Technology websites. Next on the Computer Chronicles. Thank you very much. Get a cup of morning, Joe. I've got a can of Coke. 4 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:08,980 Computer Chronicles is made possible in part by SoftSource Incorporated, publishers of Pro One's Mathematics Tutor in a Box for school year 98-99. Tutor in a Box. 5 00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:14,640 And by Z Auction, the live online shopping experience. 6 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:26,260 Additional funding from PC Connection and Mac Connection. The catalog and online superstore with PC and Mac products. Toll-free technical support and overnight delivery. 7 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:37,860 And by Windows Magazine. Delivering desktop, enterprise and internet computing news, reviews, features and how-tos for a Windows world. 8 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,100 Because the world runs on Windows. 9 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,900 Shab. Shab-shab-a-dab-a-dab. 10 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:51,240 A great, great, great, great, great, great, great situation there as the guys line up all the crew. 11 00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:56,720 They're actually doing a bit of acting work there. They could have got agents by the SAG, Screen Actors Guild. 12 00:01:57,460 --> 00:02:01,220 Or the FAG, Film Actors Guild. But this is not a FAG production. 13 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,780 It seems to be a TAG, Television Actors Guild production. 14 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:12,080 And already we can see Eminem is lined up to take a pot shot at the big stew baby Shafé. 15 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:17,860 One thing actually I was doing there before I came on the stream and pressed stream button. 16 00:02:18,260 --> 00:02:25,480 Was recording myself singing a kiss from a rose with a made-up language by Seal. 17 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,720 I just want to play this to you and see what you think about it. 18 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,480 And whether or not it's something worth pursuing in the long run. 19 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:53,160 Sorry, sorry. 20 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,580 Just got Bellisaur in the chat there. 21 00:02:55,700 --> 00:03:00,440 Just really ruining my buzz by saying it's a bit early for this crack. 22 00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:03,560 If it is Bellisaur, why is it too... 23 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,140 It's not early enough for you to write text on the stream though. 24 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:08,440 Do you know what I mean? 25 00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:13,640 I'm fucking doing a brand new language demonstration of Kiss's rose from a seal. 26 00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:16,720 And you're there talking absolute seal chat. 27 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,120 Don't need it. 28 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,160 We're going to start again now. 29 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,140 Fucking hell. 30 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:59,740 I'm going to start again now. 31 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,180 I'm going to start again now. 32 00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:06,260 I'm going to start again now. 33 00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:08,520 I'm going to start again now. 34 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,380 I'm going to start again now. 35 00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,480 I'm going to start again now. 36 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:12,200 I'm going to start again now. 37 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,420 I'm going to start again now. 38 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,420 I'm going to start again now. 39 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,300 I'm going to start again now. 40 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:16,260 I'm going to start again now. 41 00:04:16,260 --> 00:04:17,260 I'm going to start again now. 42 00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:18,260 I'm going to start again now. 43 00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,300 I'm going to start again now. 44 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,440 I'm going to start again now. 45 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,360 I'm going to start again now. 46 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,360 I'm going to start again now. 47 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,360 I'm going to start again now. 48 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,360 I'm going to start again now. 49 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:25,360 I'm going to start again now. 50 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,240 I'm going to start again now. 51 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:26,920 I'm going to start again now. 52 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:35,360 There we go. 53 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,760 And a little laugh there at the end. 54 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,300 Didn't mean to have that bit in there. 55 00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:41,100 But anyway, that's that. 56 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,120 Let's get on to this guy. 57 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,520 It looks like Duke Nukem and Eminem 58 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,440 have had some kind of love child 59 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,320 who's about to start talking to fucking Coochie Stu. 60 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,520 Hi, and welcome to the Computer Chronicles. 61 00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:52,640 I'm Stuart Shafé. 62 00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:55,660 What a lovely situation that man is. 63 00:04:55,660 --> 00:04:56,980 Well, life used to be simple. 64 00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,720 To be plugged into the rest of the world, 65 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,160 all you needed was a phone number. 66 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,960 Then you had to get a fax machine, 67 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,040 then an email address, 68 00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:04,320 and now if you're anybody, 69 00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:06,700 you're expected to have your own website. 70 00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:07,600 Well, the good... 71 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,780 Website. 72 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:10,340 The good news is it's easier than ever 73 00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:11,780 to put up your personal website. 74 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,780 The bad news is there are a lot of 75 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,340 bad-looking websites up there. 76 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:16,000 So how do you... 77 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:19,160 Liam Rogers, thanking you. 78 00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:22,960 Liam Rogers, what did you do? 79 00:05:23,260 --> 00:05:23,920 You tipped. 80 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,060 Thank you. 81 00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:27,160 The new song reminds me of the fellas 82 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,660 Tommy Schlug met during the start 83 00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:29,460 of the Berlin Stream. 84 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:30,700 Wonderful stuff. 85 00:05:30,820 --> 00:05:31,820 I must go to work now. 86 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:32,420 Heartbreak. 87 00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:33,620 Emoji. 88 00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:34,780 Thanks very much there, Liam. 89 00:05:34,820 --> 00:05:36,500 Make sure yours is a good one. 90 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,440 And Glenn Davis, you're going to be our expert. 91 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,080 You started doing the cool side of the day 92 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:40,820 about four years ago. 93 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:41,940 Cool side of the day. 94 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,180 Duke Nukem. 95 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,600 Time to code. 96 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,020 Years ago. 97 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,620 So you've looked at a million websites by now. 98 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,300 Feels like a building. 99 00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:50,940 He's been looking at more than fucking websites, Stu. 100 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:51,600 Okay. 101 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,400 And tell us, are there any basic rules of thumb 102 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,100 for what's a good site, what's a bad site 103 00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:56,760 in terms of design? 104 00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:57,820 Try to keep it simple. 105 00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,980 Try to have five navigation... 106 00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,000 I fucked it up. 107 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,600 Meant to have the chaos music for when he came on. 108 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:06,320 Meant to do one of these. 109 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,140 It's early morning. 110 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,600 I started the fucking stream 111 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,760 without even having my shades on. 112 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:13,880 That's how fucked up it is. 113 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:27,960 Look at the depth of the blue tonality in that denim. 114 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,380 I don't really think it reads on the stream. 115 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:30,940 I'm not sure. 116 00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,500 It's reading on my screen here. 117 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,460 I think the colour is set up on my stream. 118 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:38,380 Streamy screamer. 119 00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:40,560 Thank you very much, Conrad, very much for the tip there. 120 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,140 Song was great. 121 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:42,820 Get Louis Walsh on the line, Francis. 122 00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:43,780 Christmas number one. 123 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:44,560 Don't worry. 124 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,700 I think I might actually subject you to another rendition of that song very soon, 125 00:06:48,780 --> 00:06:50,520 even before we get in touch with Louis Walsh. 126 00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:53,800 But it's a lovely scenario. 127 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:58,720 It's a Levi's denim fucking wrangler dingo scenario. 128 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:04,580 And it's a great combination pack with the fucking red shirt as well. 129 00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:07,540 Going to try and actually keep the language to a minimum today. 130 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:12,700 You know, we'll see how far that goes considering I've probably said curse words. 131 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,220 Probably about fucking 15 of them. 132 00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:16,320 Just said one right then. 133 00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:18,060 Thanks very much, Diaper Higgins. 134 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,740 And it's topped off. 135 00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:23,200 It's a yellow, red and blue. 136 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,080 It's... 137 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:24,440 What's that? 138 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:25,920 A Romanian flag, is it? 139 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:30,040 This fella looks like the fucking flag of Romania playing Duke Nukem 140 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:35,000 whilst listening to fucking the Marshall Mathers LP on HTML pills. 141 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,100 Need to get a louder version of that there. 142 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:46,360 This lad looks like fucking Duke Domitrescu playing Nukem HD 143 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,740 on the fucking PS HTML 98 Windows package. 144 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:55,240 Whilst listening to I'm Slim Shady, I'm the real shady. 145 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,520 All the other Slim Shadies you're just imitating. 146 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,480 Whilst what else was the other reference there? 147 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,020 There was a Romanian Marshall Mathers Juke Nukem. 148 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:06,700 Got them all again. 149 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,140 Just repeated in a different order. 150 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:11,880 Sites to look at to show both the good points and the bad points of web design. 151 00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:13,160 So what's the first one you're going to show us? 152 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,180 This is the... 153 00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:19,980 When you think about chat topics on the net, you don't think about the hip-hop community. 154 00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:21,020 Fifth House on the left. 155 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:23,700 This is a personal page done by a woman who keeps a diary. 156 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,520 She's got a diary of being a new mother. 157 00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:28,560 She has some games that she's written and put up. 158 00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:29,340 And why do you like it? 159 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,340 It's a fun page. 160 00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:32,500 It's got a retro 50s style to it. 161 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,740 You feel like Ward in June. 162 00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:38,680 And it meets your criteria you just mentioned at the top. 163 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:40,300 All right, show us another one. 164 00:08:40,860 --> 00:08:42,060 All right, what's next? 165 00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:43,140 This is the gallery of regrettable food. 166 00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:49,540 This is what passed as quality entertainment back in the day when the websites had just kicked off. 167 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,780 98, it was the season of the site. 168 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,020 And HTML was all the rage. 169 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,320 You could put in fucking JPEGs. 170 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,660 A lot of the sites had backgrounds that were just... 171 00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:01,580 It's like you've done it on Microsoft Word. 172 00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:05,160 Just repeated patterns down the side. 173 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,280 Very, very boring it was. 174 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:13,400 But we hadn't really got to great stages of graphical GUIs on the websites yet. 175 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:14,820 If that's what you call them. 176 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,520 The front end wasn't fucking buffed. 177 00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:20,560 This is a gentleman who has a passion about foods. 178 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,800 It meets the fun criteria. 179 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,140 Look at the size of that dub. 180 00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:30,840 That's a massive dub for the industry when they were able to fucking lash them into the situations as well. 181 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,220 What were they thinking? 182 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,840 How did they eat this bile? 183 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,580 Good questions. 184 00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,380 But you won't find them answering here. 185 00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:45,380 This is a simple introduction to poorly photographed foodstuffs and horrid recipes. 186 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,720 A gallery of regrettable food. 187 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:50,620 You like the design? 188 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:51,640 Did you like the design of that? 189 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:52,280 It seemed pretty simple. 190 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,100 Yeah, it was pretty simple. 191 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:53,400 Okay. 192 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,460 Then we have the ultralight experience. 193 00:09:55,720 --> 00:10:00,400 It's a photographic journal of a man who learned to build and fly ultralight airplanes. 194 00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:02,860 And he's got a passion behind here. 195 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:03,560 And you can learn something. 196 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:04,080 Why do you like this? 197 00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,820 You can learn something here that you would have never learned from anybody else. 198 00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:10,180 Obviously, nice use of graphics of the way it's underlaid behind the text and so on. 199 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:17,560 Stu is remarking there about this little plane, a little fucking, what is that, glider or something. 200 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:18,900 He likes that. 201 00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:19,740 That's nice. 202 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,380 And it's a lovely underlay. 203 00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:23,940 This was probably blowing people's minds back in the day. 204 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:28,460 A website about fucking ultralight flight pilots or something. 205 00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:30,300 That you would have never learned from anybody else. 206 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,660 Obviously, nice use of graphics of the way it's underlaid behind the text and so on. 207 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,800 Photographers tend to do really good use of graphics. 208 00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:36,840 All right, another example. 209 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:37,400 Okay. 210 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,300 This is an example of bad navigation. 211 00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:41,080 All right, another example. 212 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,080 Okay. 213 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,580 They tend to do really good use of graphics. 214 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:45,040 All right. 215 00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:45,200 Another. 216 00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:47,820 Lovely fake laugh from Stu there as well. 217 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:48,060 Yes. 218 00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:50,880 Look at this little giggle from Stu. 219 00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:52,880 Why does he laugh here? 220 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,940 Photographers tend to do really good use of graphics. 221 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:55,360 All right. 222 00:10:55,720 --> 00:11:00,740 And you can tell it's fake because your man hasn't, one, said anything funny. 223 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:06,340 And two, he hasn't even finished what he's saying before Stu does the laugh as well. 224 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,080 It's poetry enough. 225 00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:10,440 Poetry enough from the Stu pot. 226 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,600 Let's have a look at that again. 227 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,400 You would have never learned from anybody else. 228 00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:16,740 Obviously, nice use of graphics of the way it's underlaid behind the text and so on. 229 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,900 Photographers tend to do really good use of graphics. 230 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:19,320 All right. 231 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:19,940 Another example. 232 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:20,500 Okay. 233 00:11:20,820 --> 00:11:22,640 This is an example of bad navigation. 234 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,120 It's like he's watching Teletubbies again, right? 235 00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:26,620 All right. 236 00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:27,220 Another one. 237 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:27,880 Another one. 238 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:28,380 Again. 239 00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:31,480 This is a fake corporation called Glass Dog World Domination. 240 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,600 You cannot see the navigation easily. 241 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,100 It's not real obvious where to go. 242 00:11:36,380 --> 00:11:38,620 That looks like the shittest one yet. 243 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,540 And Stu's remarking upon that there is no obvious way to go. 244 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:43,420 Back by popular demand linking here. 245 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,380 We don't even know what this is. 246 00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:45,740 Click to get to the next thing. 247 00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:45,740 Yeah. 248 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,380 It's hit C. 249 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,340 This is a fake. 250 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:47,780 All right. 251 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:48,380 Another example. 252 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:48,960 Okay. 253 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,080 This is an example of bad navigation. 254 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,820 This is a fake corporation called Glass Dog World Domination. 255 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:56,480 I get you. 256 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,640 He's given us an example of bad shit. 257 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,940 You cannot see the navigation easily. 258 00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:04,120 It's not real obvious where to go to click to get to the next thing. 259 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:04,140 Yeah. 260 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,480 It's hidden on the right in the little colored box. 261 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,400 So that's that little dark bar on the right side there. 262 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:07,640 Right. 263 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,440 So you want to avoid something like that. 264 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,240 You want to have your navigation to be as obvious as possible. 265 00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:12,740 Okay. 266 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,020 You want people to find what you've got. 267 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,100 Now, what's this? 268 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,700 This is an example of a personal resume site. 269 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,360 This is wetting the whistle there with the tongue. 270 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,200 Find what you've got. 271 00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:30,860 Like a little, like a Duke Nukemistic Romanian lizard Mathers LP. 272 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,720 Thank you very much, Lemcy. 273 00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:33,640 Very, very much. 274 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,380 Contribution towards the Uncle's Antihistamine Fund. 275 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,740 How's that head going, Tom? 276 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:40,920 Not too bad. 277 00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,980 Now it's deflated completely and utterly deflated. 278 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:51,240 Much the way I felt the other day, actually, when we couldn't get that big fat W win at the end of the war zone stream. 279 00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,640 But look at me again sometime soon. 280 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,160 Yes, indeed, Thomas. 281 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,160 In F indeed. 282 00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:01,360 But there was a little wet of the whistle here. 283 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:04,800 It was a human wet. 284 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:07,440 It wasn't augmented by a sip of water. 285 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:11,900 It wasn't, you know, you didn't have a lollipop or a sweet to pop in the mouth. 286 00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:19,100 It was a human generated whistle wet technique known as tongue swipe. 287 00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,180 And we're going to see a little example of this. 288 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:28,920 We don't really get to see this much out in the wild, but we're going to see it in super slow-mo with an ominous sounding track behind it as well. 289 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:29,840 I hope you enjoy this. 290 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,680 It should be as obvious as possible. 291 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:35,120 Okay. 292 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,300 Come on. 293 00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:50,260 Come on. 294 00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:51,560 Come on. 295 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:03,540 And there. 296 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:04,400 That was that. 297 00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:06,260 That was that. 298 00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:07,200 Hopefully that's enough. 299 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,560 This is an example of a personal resume site. 300 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,620 This is an artist who has put up a site that's used as a personal resume. 301 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:18,660 She talks about what she does, where she lives, what she's looking for. 302 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:24,000 Maybe we could have had, Anand just wrote there, he caught a fly out in the air. 303 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,720 Let's just have a little look there and see if we could get that going again. 304 00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:29,900 Just to see if we can. 305 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,620 This is an example of a personal resume. 306 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:32,340 Can we animate? 307 00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:33,920 You want people to find what you've got. 308 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:35,760 Maybe we could animate. 309 00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:37,460 No, there's no way of animating this. 310 00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:38,120 What's this? 311 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,280 This is an example. 312 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:39,840 Okay. 313 00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:42,420 You want people to find what you've got. 314 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:44,700 Okay. 315 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,140 So maybe what we do for a moment is use your imagination here, guys. 316 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,660 This is an exercise in imaginative theory. 317 00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,720 And David J. Knowles will tell you everything about this. 318 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:59,720 He was actually educated in the University of Slow Motion Tongue Techniques. 319 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:05,080 And thanks very much for the tip there, David J. Knowles, JJ Knowles and Lamsey as well. 320 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,680 Try to imagine this cursor here on the screen as a little fly. 321 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:18,740 And then we imagine Duke Nukem 3D, Time to Kill, Marshall Mathers LP Romania book as a lizard. 322 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,240 Let's a little have a look at this. 323 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:22,300 It's early morning, guys. 324 00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:22,660 Okay. 325 00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:26,180 Started the stream on a bit of a fucking brash note. 326 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:35,400 First off, we will consult the sound bank to see if we have any fly sounds. 327 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:39,320 Bear with me here, guys, as I type FLY into the sound bank. 328 00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:43,020 Nah. 329 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,200 We ain't got nothing there. 330 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,060 No. 331 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,280 So here we go. 332 00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,740 We'll get that music going again. 333 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,700 So this cursor, imagine the cursor is the fly. 334 00:15:59,700 --> 00:15:59,780 Okay. 335 00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:23,220 Didn't work out really well enough there. 336 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:24,980 I mean, the tongue went for it, but it didn't. 337 00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:25,600 It didn't. 338 00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,180 There's no way of, like, hiding that cursor into the mouth. 339 00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,120 We'll just go again there. 340 00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:44,700 What's this? 341 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:45,400 Sorry about that. 342 00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,400 This is an example of a person. 343 00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:49,500 And that was not the best. 344 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,180 But we tried. 345 00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:52,440 And that's the main thing. 346 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,620 Top of the morning, says Darker Shrine. 347 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:55,220 Thanks very much. 348 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,960 Enjoyed the stream with a wee bit of coffee. 349 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,260 Good start to the week. 350 00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,720 So I just got a belch there. 351 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,980 The heavy buzz because I haven't gone for the coffee. 352 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,060 I've just gone for the can of sugar water. 353 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:11,440 Narubu Sen. 354 00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:12,060 Thanks very much. 355 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,540 Much rather stay here and delve into the world of stew now and go into a cold garage. 356 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:16,980 Will we be on again later, Francis? 357 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,840 Look, let's see what we can do here. 358 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:20,420 We started strong, I believe. 359 00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:24,080 Even though it was a weak, it was a poorly judged start. 360 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:27,340 But, fuck, let's just see how it goes. 361 00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:28,000 We don't know. 362 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,220 We're not even two minutes, four minutes into this episode, sure. 363 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,500 We haven't even got, we've been watching the stream for 20 minutes. 364 00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,500 We were only four minutes 15 into the ep. 365 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,160 Personal resume site. 366 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,240 This is an artist who has put up a site that's used as a personal resume. 367 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:50,240 She talks about what she does, where she lives, what she's looking for, what she can do for people who need her services, and all the things that she likes. 368 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,920 And you like it because it's just the nice design? 369 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,640 Stu doesn't understand why he likes this. 370 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:57,720 It's not that great. 371 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:04,640 Stu can't really make out any features on the website that would elicit any sort of fucking surprising, impressive response. 372 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,500 Soul Dance is what it's called. 373 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:12,620 The things that bind soul, digitize soul, fine traveled roads for higher contact. 374 00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:13,060 Looks rubbish. 375 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:13,660 Nice design. 376 00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:15,340 It does load quickly over a modem. 377 00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:18,400 No surprises it loads quickly. 378 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,200 It's shite. 379 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,300 It's just a big black page. 380 00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:27,660 Is it important before you put up your own site to go scouting around and look at stuff to get an idea of what's out there? 381 00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:28,820 Oh, it's extremely important. 382 00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:33,720 If you want to build websites, you need to look at the great websites that are out there and learn from them. 383 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,840 There's so much to be learned from looking at the good. 384 00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:37,480 Now, the sites you showed us were... 385 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:38,960 Duke Nukem's after you. 386 00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:39,820 Pepsi Scroll. 387 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:40,600 Thank you very much. 388 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,880 We're relatively complicated. 389 00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:43,160 I mean, complicated... 390 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,960 Any new games for streaming? 391 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,220 You say, I don't know. 392 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:53,220 It's just very picky and choosy to the point that it's debilitating and getting in the way of actually streaming, you know? 393 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,480 Need to probably have a reset mindset. 394 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:02,360 Reset the mind frame on it and think, what exactly is it that I want to get from the stream? 395 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,240 Is it to enjoy the game or is it just to do a stream? 396 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:12,000 Because I'm thinking I'm leaning more towards enjoying the game or wanting to play a game that I like, you know? 397 00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,060 And that's... 398 00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:15,740 There's too much choice out there. 399 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,660 And I'm very, very fucking choosy. 400 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,180 I have a short attention span. 401 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,060 I can't complete things that I set out to complete, you know? 402 00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,340 Many times this has happened. 403 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,600 So, I mean, can a normal person who's not a geek do something like that? 404 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:30,880 Oh, yeah. 405 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,020 That's the whole goal we have at Project Cool. 406 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,680 And that we think that anyone can build a great website. 407 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:41,540 And we have tutorials that are non-geek speak where you can come in and in five minutes have built your first webpage using any computer. 408 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:42,040 All right. 409 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,760 So that's the website you run now, which is projectcool.com. 410 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,600 And I can go there and get what? 411 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,480 You've got it up there now. 412 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,200 You can learn to build the web. 413 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:50,420 You can look at great websites. 414 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,500 You can talk with others who are building the web. 415 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:57,500 You can always remember that people are your own best resource in anything that you do, and especially in building the web. 416 00:19:58,600 --> 00:19:59,000 Projectcool. 417 00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:01,840 Anyone can build a great website. 418 00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:05,200 Projectcool.com. 419 00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:07,920 I think it is 1998. 420 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:09,900 Projectcool.com is... 421 00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:12,360 Let's see what we can do there. 422 00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:15,020 Can we get on to fucking Projectcool.com? 423 00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:17,580 Project... 424 00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:19,600 Thank you very much, sir. 425 00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:20,080 Ivan. 426 00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:22,000 Very, very kind of you, Ivan. 427 00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:26,840 We're going to dedicate this projectcool.com to Ivan. 428 00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:39,120 A complete collection of resources for WordPress bloggers, freelancers, creators, anyone who wants to learn WordPress. 429 00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:41,680 So it's changed. 430 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,040 It changed through the ages. 431 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,800 Probably sold its... 432 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:50,160 Sold its domain to someone who then just took on the domain. 433 00:20:50,320 --> 00:21:05,000 Or the company diversified its interests going into an increasingly expanding intergalactic web market and decided to focus on WordPress and not just websites, general websites. 434 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,940 Looks shit anyway. 435 00:21:06,940 --> 00:21:07,940 All right. 436 00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,560 Thank you very much. 437 00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:11,320 All right. 438 00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:17,220 Well, once you've created your website, you want to make sure people can find it among the millions of websites that are out there. 439 00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:18,380 Google. 440 00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,740 Thank you very much there for the tip, Ivan. 441 00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:26,940 To help you through that maze, we went to visit the folks at Yahoo to see what it takes to get listed in their search engine. 442 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,120 This is how it worked back in the day. 443 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:40,260 You had to go and visit the HQ of the search engine based in probably fucking San Francisco or something and visit them and ask for you to be listed on it. 444 00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:45,740 It's like knocking on the door at Google and going, please, Google, can we have some search results? 445 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,680 Look at that ergonomics. 446 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:50,640 Fucking hell. 447 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,320 It's a sensual piece of equipment. 448 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,240 It's a double split QWERTY. 449 00:21:55,840 --> 00:22:00,500 And she's going over for a really bleak beige mouse over there. 450 00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:05,460 I say she, I could be a fella, but the hands do look feministic. 451 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:08,880 And it's a big time block bone. 452 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:10,560 Pure block work. 453 00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:12,920 You've got the up, down. 454 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,300 You've got the numerical keypad at the end there. 455 00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:17,360 And it's like riding a wave back in the day. 456 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,020 Look at the wave of this keyboard. 457 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,920 The ergonomic fucking reactionary fucking keyboard. 458 00:22:23,380 --> 00:22:26,660 It was reactionary design at the time. 459 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,280 You know, a lot of people had fucking bad reactions to it. 460 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:37,260 And some people said it was the narrowliest fucking experience that you could ever have in an office with your clothes on. 461 00:22:37,860 --> 00:22:47,080 Other people said it was like riding a beige wave into the information superhighway through a big fucking modem pipe. 462 00:22:47,340 --> 00:22:51,940 And other people did actually say at the time it was narrowly. 463 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:58,240 It was like it was like hanging 10 over the end of a narrowly fucking beige curvy surfboard. 464 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,020 And someone did come up with the fucking idea of saying. 465 00:23:03,740 --> 00:23:04,620 Cowabunga dudes. 466 00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:07,300 Let's surfs up. 467 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,460 Let's go and fucking see some pages. 468 00:23:11,460 --> 00:23:14,080 At Yahoo's headquarters in Silicon Valley. 469 00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:18,560 Another situation before we go on there is the Mr. Potato Head. 470 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:19,520 Thanks very much. 471 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,640 You're maz on chats. 472 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:25,640 Now the Mr. Potato Head was a pretty big fixture. 473 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,960 Fixture back in the day. 474 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,040 I'm not sure if it still is now. 475 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,320 Landed a prize spot in the movie Toy Story. 476 00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:39,240 Which elevated its status as a fringe. 477 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:40,180 What was at the time? 478 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,860 Probably fringe toy. 479 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,740 Into pure AAA mainstream. 480 00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:47,600 Toy world. 481 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:47,960 You know. 482 00:23:48,580 --> 00:23:54,080 And spawned a whole generation of different potato spin-offs. 483 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:55,480 Mrs. Potato Head. 484 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,280 The Potato Lads. 485 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,360 Uncle Potato. 486 00:23:59,140 --> 00:24:00,820 Who was down on his luck actually. 487 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,000 It was an alcoholic spud. 488 00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:03,180 Who'd fermented. 489 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,760 And there was the whole. 490 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,420 There was a potato fucking world. 491 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,600 Surprised there wasn't a movie just of Potato Head. 492 00:24:11,380 --> 00:24:12,320 And Pocky. 493 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,240 Whatever Pocky is. 494 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,940 Probably some kind of stationary thing. 495 00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:19,860 And then we've got a wacky Bugs Bunny cup. 496 00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:22,920 Which is used to hold a lot of byros. 497 00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:24,520 It's a crazy working environment. 498 00:24:24,700 --> 00:24:26,680 A great cushy atmosphere I'd imagine. 499 00:24:26,820 --> 00:24:31,540 A team of surfers is at work sifting, sorting and grading websites. 500 00:24:32,460 --> 00:24:35,840 These sites were submitted by people who would like to be added to. 501 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,740 It's a crazy bit of business. 502 00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:40,780 It's a sensual, sensual. 503 00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:42,940 Bullistic. 504 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:44,560 It's ballistic. 505 00:24:45,220 --> 00:24:47,060 It's got a lot of curvature on it. 506 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,280 It's got, you know, it's got a lot of radioactive waves going. 507 00:24:53,220 --> 00:24:54,160 It's great. 508 00:24:54,540 --> 00:24:55,460 It's nice. 509 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:56,940 It's crucial. 510 00:24:57,500 --> 00:25:00,480 At the same time, it's very demure. 511 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:07,220 And also, let's take a moment to appreciate everything about it. 512 00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:09,240 It's beautiful stuff. 513 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,440 It's serious. 514 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,180 It's business. 515 00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:14,880 It's business class. 516 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,820 But it's also economy as well at the same time. 517 00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:21,420 One of Yahoo's groups. 518 00:25:21,420 --> 00:25:27,000 Personal homepages have their own subcategory under society and culture. 519 00:25:27,620 --> 00:25:31,220 And Yahoo's criteria for inclusion are not too demanding. 520 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,420 So for personal homepages, it's actually a place where we can be even more inclusive. 521 00:25:35,420 --> 00:25:38,640 Srinija Srinivasan's after you. 522 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:39,640 From Yahoo. 523 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,780 Who's to say what's interesting and what's not interesting? 524 00:25:44,140 --> 00:25:44,560 She could. 525 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:49,040 She missed an opportunity to say Yahoo's and who's to say Yahoo's to say it's not interesting. 526 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,760 What's useful and what's useful and what's not useful and where else. 527 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,640 Because who's to say what's interesting and what's not interesting? 528 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,100 What's useful and what's not useful? 529 00:25:55,100 --> 00:26:01,460 And rather than for personal pages, rather than the point being to convey information to someone 530 00:26:01,460 --> 00:26:07,220 else for their own edification, often the point of a personal page is simply for the author to express themselves. 531 00:26:07,220 --> 00:26:16,680 While Yahoo's web reviewers may give more leeway to personal site design, it pays to keep some basic rules in mind regarding appearance and content. 532 00:26:17,260 --> 00:26:18,420 First of all, you've got to have some. 533 00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:21,120 That looks nasty. 534 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,520 That looks like a. 535 00:26:22,740 --> 00:26:23,320 Basic rules in. 536 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,620 Fucking Psy-Up. 537 00:26:25,820 --> 00:26:27,040 CIA Psy-Up. 538 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,100 They're mind controlling the kids with Barney. 539 00:26:31,740 --> 00:26:32,620 Barney images. 540 00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:33,380 Look at the. 541 00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:34,780 How busy is that? 542 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,360 Out of balance. 543 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:40,500 Left brain, right brain, gallery, creativity, days in life. 544 00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:41,160 What is love? 545 00:26:41,260 --> 00:26:41,960 Life stories. 546 00:26:42,700 --> 00:26:51,600 You know, this is the day before people with no editorial nows were able to get involved in putting out information. 547 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:58,060 And I say that as someone with zero editor who spends a lot of time. 548 00:26:59,060 --> 00:27:07,500 Spent on analyzing small detail in 30 year old episodes of a fucking defunct computer program. 549 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,860 I'm criticizing these people from the future for having no editorial nows. 550 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,960 And, uh, but look at the fucking state of it, man. 551 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,020 Just, it's depressing to see. 552 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:23,460 If you're new here, I encourage you to look around, visit whatever catches your eye. 553 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,660 I've tried to make this place for exploration. 554 00:27:25,860 --> 00:27:30,900 If you're looking for a little more explanation about each area, try the something guided tour. 555 00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:36,500 For a little bit of a site design, it pays to keep some basic rules in mind regarding appearance and content. 556 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,900 First of all, you've got to have some underlying content of substance there. 557 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,140 You've got to have something to say. 558 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:51,900 Um, and then on top of that, a very clear, useful navigational structure so that someone who's never seen this before can come in and get to the stuff and understand what's where. 559 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,740 Yahoo's editor says that reviewers look for innovation and creative design. 560 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:03,360 But as the number of personal web pages grows, it becomes harder to find sites that truly stand out. 561 00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:12,280 Still, a simple, organized site is a good way to start, and the content should reveal something about the person behind the page. 562 00:28:12,940 --> 00:28:15,340 Reveal something about yourself. That's really what it's about. 563 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:22,020 Use it as a platform for expressing, um, creating, letting people know something about you that they might not have known otherwise. 564 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:29,780 Um, I think there are a number of reasons that people like to create pages, but there are also a number of reasons that people like to view pages of people they've never met before. 565 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:34,900 There's sort of this, um, you know, voyeuristic appeal of people watching and just clicking around. 566 00:28:35,220 --> 00:28:39,520 Had it in one, the voyeuristic appeal, it was only a few years until they actually got it. 567 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:46,820 Maybe MySpace was out in 98, I'm not sure, but, uh, this was just before everybody got their own little miniature website. 568 00:28:46,980 --> 00:28:49,500 I suppose, in a way, that's what it was, wasn't it? 569 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,740 Websites, then people go, oh yeah, people want to see other people's websites. 570 00:28:53,020 --> 00:28:58,420 And then someone was like, let's make a site that gives everyone their own fucking website, you know? 571 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:04,400 And, uh, just appeals to them and makes them look glass or whether people just want to show a side of themselves. 572 00:29:04,540 --> 00:29:07,900 We're all interested in showing a side of ourselves, you know? 573 00:29:08,060 --> 00:29:10,960 But we don't want to show the fucking real selves. 574 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,500 So they made those sites tailor-made to those fucking people. 575 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,120 People have to say about themselves. 576 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,580 For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Sarah O'Brien. 577 00:29:25,580 --> 00:29:27,660 Sarah O'Brien. 578 00:29:28,340 --> 00:29:29,520 Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. 579 00:29:32,340 --> 00:29:33,900 Cham, chapa, chapa, chum. 580 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:35,820 O'Brien! 581 00:29:35,820 --> 00:29:41,040 So let's get down to the basics. 582 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,660 How do you actually start creating your own website? 583 00:29:43,820 --> 00:29:46,840 Most people go out and buy a web design software package. 584 00:29:47,180 --> 00:29:48,920 And we're going to show you one example of a good one. 585 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,900 Page mill 3.0 from Adobe. 586 00:29:51,140 --> 00:29:52,720 Roger, I guess page mill one. 587 00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:53,700 Page mill. 588 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,760 You're going to be milling out the pages day in, day out with this. 589 00:29:56,860 --> 00:29:59,080 And Stu's going to do one of these robot movements. 590 00:29:59,180 --> 00:29:59,560 I love it. 591 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:00,000 Let's see. 592 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,560 Let's see the windup here. 593 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:11,580 He didn't go for the robot. 594 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,660 He went for a standard gesticulation. 595 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:19,680 But I love when he does that kind of, you know, kind of weird kind of sex on the, 596 00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:21,860 something sexual about the web. 597 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,560 Let's have a look at the Web of Darkness clip there for a moment. 598 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,800 Just to see him do some of that kind of weird stuff. 599 00:30:27,340 --> 00:30:27,740 Twisted! 600 00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:30,140 There we go. 601 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:30,700 Right there. 602 00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:32,860 Missed that? 603 00:30:33,020 --> 00:30:33,700 Let's see it again. 604 00:30:33,980 --> 00:30:34,380 Twisted! 605 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,620 Dispatches unwraps the story behind. 606 00:30:40,620 --> 00:30:42,500 People getting undressed, you know, going to the bathroom. 607 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:43,040 Twisted! 608 00:30:44,060 --> 00:30:44,720 Beautiful stuff. 609 00:30:44,740 --> 00:30:47,860 Help just anybody create a web page who didn't know anything about the web or HTML. 610 00:30:48,700 --> 00:30:51,080 Liam Roger Spreen from Adobe. 611 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,480 This is, uh, Spreeny from Adobe. 612 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,740 He knew what he was fucking at back in the day. 613 00:30:57,820 --> 00:30:59,540 And also they went on to make Photoshop. 614 00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:02,480 Photoshop had been invented maybe around 92, 93. 615 00:31:03,740 --> 00:31:14,740 This is just Adobe diversifying their output with an extensive range of new products to really capture the hearts and imagination of the fucking tech narrative of the time. 616 00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:16,620 And the consumer as well. 617 00:31:16,620 --> 00:31:17,920 Okay, here we are at 3.0. 618 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,540 Lots more features in there but still relatively easy to use. 619 00:31:20,540 --> 00:31:20,800 Absolutely. 620 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,420 Stu's loving 3.0. 621 00:31:22,420 --> 00:31:25,840 Let's say I just got home, unwrapped the package, installed the software. 622 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,280 I want to start from the beginning to design my website. 623 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:28,760 What do I do? 624 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,280 Well, the key is to start simple and then work up as you learn more. 625 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:31,900 Get the words in there. 626 00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:32,540 Text is number one. 627 00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:33,040 Okay. 628 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,120 So you can get text from anywhere. 629 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,620 In this case, get the words in. 630 00:31:35,620 --> 00:31:38,520 That's Stu's mantra for computer creditors. 631 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:39,520 I have a word document. 632 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:40,840 And I can just copy, paste, drag and drop. 633 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,040 So I could have created the text in Word, pull it in. 634 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:43,420 Exactly. 635 00:31:43,420 --> 00:31:44,660 Or even type it straight into PageMill. 636 00:31:44,660 --> 00:31:45,780 I'll just drop it in right here. 637 00:31:45,780 --> 00:31:47,740 And PageMill works just like a word processor. 638 00:31:47,740 --> 00:31:49,600 So I could do the editing inside there and-- 639 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:50,320 Exactly. 640 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:51,780 And make the fonts bigger and so forth. 641 00:31:51,780 --> 00:31:53,440 But the real fun is images. 642 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:53,940 Wow. 643 00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:54,940 Because that's what makes it really stand up. 644 00:31:54,940 --> 00:31:55,440 Okay. 645 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,780 You can get images from anywhere. 646 00:31:56,780 --> 00:31:58,040 Use your digital camera. 647 00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,040 Just take them right off your disk. 648 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,740 In this case, we'll actually use our web browser in Explorer to go to a page. 649 00:32:02,740 --> 00:32:03,240 Great. 650 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,740 And we'll take pages right off the web. 651 00:32:04,740 --> 00:32:06,740 Let's borrow some graphics from someplace else. 652 00:32:06,740 --> 00:32:07,240 You bet. 653 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:07,740 All right. 654 00:32:07,740 --> 00:32:14,080 In this case, I'm just going to click on the image right in my web browser and just drag it over and drop it on the little page symbol, which shows me where the background image goes. 655 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,380 Now, how did it know to become a background like that and not just a graphic of a bagel? 656 00:32:17,380 --> 00:32:19,040 Because that's the little page symbol. 657 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:19,540 Very nice. 658 00:32:19,540 --> 00:32:20,540 It goes over the entire page. 659 00:32:20,540 --> 00:32:21,040 Okay. 660 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,040 And it knows to just go underneath the text line? 661 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:23,540 You bet. 662 00:32:23,540 --> 00:32:24,040 All right. 663 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:24,540 Pretty clever. 664 00:32:24,540 --> 00:32:25,540 Hey, you bet. 665 00:32:25,540 --> 00:32:31,240 Stu's all over this like a hot snot and Spreen is really fucking selling page mill big time. 666 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:32,740 I really well, actually. 667 00:32:32,740 --> 00:32:33,740 I'm interested in it. 668 00:32:33,740 --> 00:32:35,240 And I'm in the future. 669 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:39,440 You know, I feel like what he's created is what Adobe have made with page mill. 670 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:47,840 What Adobe did with page mill not only revolutionized the HTML hypertext markup language scene. 671 00:32:47,840 --> 00:33:00,540 But it went on to define an era of internet that has become defunct. 672 00:33:00,540 --> 00:33:03,540 Thank you very much, Tony B for the tip there. 673 00:33:03,540 --> 00:33:10,040 Did you know there was a donation to the Internet Archive by Shafé himself that includes all episodes of CC and Nick Cafe? 674 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:17,840 You know it, Tony B. I knew that. That's why we've always watched these because it's public domain stuff. 675 00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,340 They're not going to get taken down. 676 00:33:19,340 --> 00:33:24,000 Unlike a lot of the other old junk that we do fucking watch on there. 677 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,100 I don't know why I'm pointing back towards the green screen there. 678 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:33,240 But we watched a lot of shit in the past and the shows get taken down by YouTube in the end, but not computer chronicles. 679 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,840 It's all public domain, baby. 680 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:44,160 Another thing which is interesting in America or in the world, I think the copyright law is that after 100 years, then everything goes into the public domain. 681 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,220 So there's going to be some movies in the next. 682 00:33:48,220 --> 00:33:54,880 Do you know, if you think about Hollywood, really, if it was 100 years ago now, what's that 20 or 1922? 683 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:59,080 What was out in 1922? Fucking rubbish, like silent films. 684 00:33:59,700 --> 00:34:03,980 Maybe that film about the train going to the station, which made people shit themselves. 685 00:34:03,980 --> 00:34:07,760 Maybe some Buster Keaton stuff. 686 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:15,980 Maybe some, I don't know, just crap that you probably wouldn't even be arse watching on a stream because it just does it. 687 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,460 It lacks, you know, what we've become so used to. 688 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:24,560 Even this is too fucking long form and boring compared to today's TikTok eyes mindset. 689 00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:29,180 But I'm enjoying this area, but it's a shame. 690 00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:33,940 It's a damn shame that there's going to be some class stuff that comes out, but it's going to be too late. 691 00:34:33,940 --> 00:34:37,680 Then, you know, in the future, I'd like to be in 50 years time now. 692 00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:41,560 Do you know, I'd like to be where I am now, but in 50 years time. 693 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:46,320 So I could be looking at stuff that was coming out in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s or whatever. 694 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:47,260 All for free. 695 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:49,000 No takedown notices. 696 00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:50,620 So that's a damn shame. 697 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:54,840 That's probably the shittest aspect of modern day life at the moment. 698 00:34:55,160 --> 00:35:01,140 They said we can't watch films from the 70s on YouTube or 80s without us getting a copyright strike. 699 00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:08,360 Saying that, in the future, they'll probably already come up with some bullshit way of fucking copyrighting you for eternity. 700 00:35:09,620 --> 00:35:09,940 Do you know? 701 00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:18,060 These franchises like Star Wars and all that sort of stuff, they're probably too big to allow just to slip into the hands of the ordinary folk. 702 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,740 And I can imagine these, these clones have deep pockets. 703 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:23,300 Sorry about the language this time of morning. 704 00:35:23,780 --> 00:35:29,760 These people have deep pockets and their interest is stopping us from having a good time. 705 00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:31,280 That's what I see it as. 706 00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:34,020 Thank you very much, Alien 2.0. 707 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:34,740 Thank you very much. 708 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:35,260 Merry Christmas. 709 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:42,100 And they're probably going to fucking come up with a way of putting us in a chokehold again. 710 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:48,300 And I've seen their fucking Twitter or whatever is saying, after all, it's free speech bollocks. 711 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,480 It's cutting off. 712 00:35:49,540 --> 00:35:51,620 You're not allowed to link to other stuff and all that. 713 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:56,720 There won't be long before you're not even allowed to link to stuff from other fucking social medias and all that. 714 00:35:56,780 --> 00:35:58,140 They're all just going to keep in. 715 00:35:58,220 --> 00:36:02,040 But then that'll open up an opportunity for someone to create a social media space. 716 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:07,160 So a new one that is completely free and easy and able to spread links from other sites, you know. 717 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:13,040 But I suppose that they got it. 718 00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:16,300 You get in early and then you get the fucking monopoly of the users. 719 00:36:16,460 --> 00:36:18,480 So the user base is the main thing. 720 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:23,980 It's not that it's, you know, Twitter might be shite and stopping the block and the links. 721 00:36:24,180 --> 00:36:26,220 And it might happen on Facebook as well. 722 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,140 It's the fact that everyone's on there already. 723 00:36:28,140 --> 00:36:34,220 So you'd have to, it's whoever gets in first gets the pot, the big pot of gold. 724 00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:36,360 A la YouTube. 725 00:36:37,860 --> 00:36:43,220 Facebook got a big pot of gold, but people are increasingly stopping using that. 726 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,880 So maybe it's not all about getting in early. 727 00:36:47,180 --> 00:36:50,120 But then again, Twitter and Facebook are different concepts in a way. 728 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:55,520 One's like a fucking Bloomberg ticker of information, Twitter. 729 00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:59,900 And then the other one was just like, hi, look at me. 730 00:36:59,980 --> 00:37:01,500 Here's some photos and here's my life. 731 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,400 How do we get to this point where I'm, oh yeah, so copyright and all that sort of stuff. 732 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:17,860 Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath to be honest now about the fucking copyright and being able to watch Star Wars for free in 20 fucking 75 or 20, 2080. 733 00:37:17,860 --> 00:37:18,340 Do you know? 734 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:20,860 Would not hold my breath. 735 00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:26,760 But page mill, what an absolutely unbelievable piece of software technology from the Adobe boys. 736 00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,160 The same guys who brought you the Photoshop and the Premiere. 737 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:32,280 Or Premiere. 738 00:37:32,820 --> 00:37:35,320 All right, but that's nice, but I want to do more now, obviously. 739 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:47,000 I mean, you need more than one page to have links. 740 00:37:47,060 --> 00:37:47,280 Right. 741 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,540 So let's create a second page. 742 00:37:48,860 --> 00:37:53,620 And a real common technique this time is to have frames, which includes sort of a table of contents. 743 00:37:53,780 --> 00:37:58,540 So I can do frame content inside page mill without knowing how that works. 744 00:37:58,620 --> 00:37:58,980 You bet. 745 00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:02,500 Just hold the control key down and just drag out an area. 746 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:03,600 And that breaks my page into frames. 747 00:38:03,700 --> 00:38:04,000 You bet. 748 00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,880 I'll do one from the top too so we can put like a logo at the top or a family name. 749 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,840 And I can put different things in those different frames. 750 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:09,140 Exactly. 751 00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:09,420 Okay. 752 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:10,720 We can actually color them. 753 00:38:10,820 --> 00:38:13,100 For example, let's say I want this table of contents area to be white. 754 00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,800 There's a bit of coke in that can. 755 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,280 And it's gone on the fucking wall now. 756 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,040 And you need to make sure that that is mopped up and that it doesn't stain. 757 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:22,960 Sorry about that. 758 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,460 Try to be cool by throwing it against the wall. 759 00:38:25,980 --> 00:38:27,620 It's actually backfired on me now. 760 00:38:27,620 --> 00:38:42,240 But I have all 216 website colors if you want them. 761 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,680 So that's the background color you're going to put on that particular frame. 762 00:38:44,820 --> 00:38:45,100 Exactly. 763 00:38:45,620 --> 00:38:47,160 And so now let's bring some graphics over to it. 764 00:38:47,340 --> 00:38:48,600 I'll go back to my browser. 765 00:38:49,140 --> 00:38:49,420 Buttons. 766 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:49,760 Okay. 767 00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,320 So I'll go back to that same page that happens to have a whole lot of reserve. 768 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,500 Yeah, I'm not a big Star Wars head. 769 00:38:55,500 --> 00:39:00,940 I was just trying to grasp for a fucking random film title as well from that era. 770 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:13,400 I would have easily said Godfather or fucking Star Wars 2. 771 00:39:13,780 --> 00:39:14,780 ...buttons on here. 772 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:14,980 Okay. 773 00:39:15,620 --> 00:39:18,160 That page comes with lots of pre-made buttons and graphics. 774 00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:19,060 So I'll just drop some in. 775 00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:20,420 I got my little bagel buttons there. 776 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,380 Home, maybe some employment, email. 777 00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:23,520 So it's really drag and drop. 778 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:24,000 Exactly. 779 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,740 And linking is just as easy. 780 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:26,800 All right. 781 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:26,940 Yeah. 782 00:39:26,980 --> 00:39:31,480 So how do I link these two pages so people can go, say, from the word bagel on one page to the background? 783 00:39:31,820 --> 00:39:32,160 Well, here I... 784 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:36,100 We want to go from bagel to background in 60 seconds. 785 00:39:36,340 --> 00:39:37,300 What can you do there? 786 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,460 Just put some more text in here. 787 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,320 Let's say we want to link the word bagel bakery to this other page we just created. 788 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,480 I want to make that a hot link so if somebody clicks on bagel bakery, it'll take them to the other page. 789 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:44,720 Exactly. 790 00:39:45,020 --> 00:39:51,840 Just select that word and then go over and grab that page symbol on the first page and we'll just drag it over and drop it on that word. 791 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:52,840 And now it's linked. 792 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:53,640 That's all there is to it. 793 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:54,160 Wow. 794 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:54,520 Unbelievable. 795 00:39:54,960 --> 00:40:03,520 I mean, you would have had to have really gone to some painstaking odds and ends to be able to hyperlink that fucking bagel bakery little piece that he just did there. 796 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,000 But page mill just... 797 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,740 It just is a cinch. 798 00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:08,680 It really is. 799 00:40:08,820 --> 00:40:10,620 It was a drag and drop scenario. 800 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:13,460 We have bagels in the background. 801 00:40:13,660 --> 00:40:15,420 We have bagel links on the side. 802 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:17,700 It's a bagel paradise. 803 00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:22,440 And you can imagine this bagel website really rocking the fucking bagel world. 804 00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:27,600 You know, there would have been a lot of New Yorkers out there because they love the bagels there. 805 00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:37,900 Really visiting, hammering this fucking site every day, checking the latest bagel updates and getting into a bagel... 806 00:40:37,900 --> 00:40:40,820 What would essentially be a bagel state of mind? 807 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:41,700 Do you know? 808 00:40:41,820 --> 00:40:50,580 Before hitting the fucking mean streets of Manhattan or Brooklyn or whatever and really tuck it into some fucking sweet or savoury, should I say, bagel action. 809 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,280 You're talking poppy seed on the top. 810 00:40:53,380 --> 00:40:56,360 You're talking fucking cream cheese, sour cream. 811 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:57,580 You've got lox. 812 00:40:58,160 --> 00:40:59,220 You've got salmon. 813 00:40:59,820 --> 00:41:01,080 You've got pepper smoke. 814 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,900 You've got all sorts of toppings on those bagels. 815 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,380 Bacon, sour cream, cheese. 816 00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:10,660 You've got fucking all sorts of salmon on that shit. 817 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:11,660 So I think it's turned blue. 818 00:41:11,820 --> 00:41:12,100 Exactly. 819 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:13,200 What about... 820 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,400 Okay, now what about that top frame if I wanted to put some sort of banner headline up there? 821 00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:17,840 Just grab an empty banner. 822 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,660 And we actually come with Photoshop so you can grab empty banners. 823 00:41:20,660 --> 00:41:22,960 And this is Photoshop integration. 824 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,320 The Adobe family with their integrated fucking technologies. 825 00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:27,720 You can put your own name in it. 826 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,820 So Photoshop Ellie is bundled with page bill. 827 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,560 Last thing, the little java-apolis people want little banners. 828 00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:35,020 Little banners. 829 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,120 Lovely stuff. 830 00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,460 It's happening live here, folks. 831 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,420 We're seeing this little stew moment here. 832 00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:42,360 It's beautiful. 833 00:41:42,620 --> 00:41:44,600 Stubert Shafé here. 834 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:45,720 Look at this. 835 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:50,960 It's the physical manifestation of miniature banner, 836 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:52,480 of miniaturization. 837 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,040 And look at the wind up of the shoulders. 838 00:41:56,260 --> 00:41:57,860 And we've often speculated, 839 00:41:58,060 --> 00:42:00,400 was Stu a dramatist? 840 00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:01,360 Was he in drama? 841 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:05,820 Was he on stage or screen before he came to Computer Chronicles? 842 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:11,040 Because he can use his body and contort his posture 843 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:15,840 to convey a message that words just simply can't. 844 00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:17,140 And look at this. 845 00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:19,620 It's beautiful stuff. 846 00:42:20,340 --> 00:42:21,760 Sensational, says Mark. 847 00:42:23,580 --> 00:42:30,760 And a thespian of some sorts, says Niall Flynn. 848 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,640 It's bundled with page mill. 849 00:42:33,900 --> 00:42:35,360 Last thing, the little Java app, 850 00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:38,280 people want little banners calling and that cool stuff. 851 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:39,660 Everyone loves animation on their pages. 852 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:40,580 Here I have an existing... 853 00:42:40,580 --> 00:42:43,300 I like the way he goes happy and then to cool stuff and serious. 854 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:44,380 Otherapolis people want... 855 00:42:44,900 --> 00:42:46,280 Happy little banner, man. 856 00:42:46,580 --> 00:42:47,180 Little banners. 857 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,280 Look at that happy little banner. 858 00:42:49,420 --> 00:42:50,620 Cheeky little banner face. 859 00:42:52,100 --> 00:42:52,740 Steve Bannon. 860 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,960 And then to serious stew face then. 861 00:42:56,500 --> 00:42:57,480 And that cool stuff. 862 00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:58,340 Everyone loves animation. 863 00:42:58,740 --> 00:42:59,280 Look at that. 864 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:02,880 Straight into cool... 865 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,460 He says cool stuff and it's like, give me the money now. 866 00:43:05,460 --> 00:43:06,980 I've set you up. 867 00:43:06,980 --> 00:43:08,040 I've asked for the bag. 868 00:43:08,580 --> 00:43:09,880 Now give me the bag. 869 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,420 Those animations on the pages. 870 00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:15,160 Here I have an existing page that has a Java applet on here. 871 00:43:15,300 --> 00:43:16,660 I'm not a Java programmer. 872 00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:17,760 Now where did that come from? 873 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:18,760 It actually comes on the CD. 874 00:43:18,940 --> 00:43:20,400 We come with some standard Java applets. 875 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,720 And I can just, like any other image, just drag and drop it. 876 00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:24,020 It's a Java applet. 877 00:43:24,020 --> 00:43:24,600 Into my page. 878 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,900 And now if I want to put my own name into it, I can just show our little inspector, which 879 00:43:28,900 --> 00:43:29,940 lets me get to all the attributes. 880 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:31,300 And now I can just change the text. 881 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:31,540 Yeah. 882 00:43:31,540 --> 00:43:32,080 Put my own name. 883 00:43:33,380 --> 00:43:33,740 And... 884 00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:36,360 And in real time, we've just created a two-page site anyhow. 885 00:43:36,420 --> 00:43:36,740 Exactly. 886 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,260 With links, graphics, frames, the whole bit. 887 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:39,640 You bet. 888 00:43:39,740 --> 00:43:40,400 Thank you very much. 889 00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:40,860 You bet. 890 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:41,200 All right. 891 00:43:41,260 --> 00:43:46,100 Well, it's nice to have the text and the graphics all in place on your new personal website. 892 00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:48,340 But if you really want to be cool, you need... 893 00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:55,540 When you think about chat topics on the web, you don't tend to think about the hip-hop community. 894 00:43:56,540 --> 00:43:59,860 The text and the graphics all in place on your new personal website. 895 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,600 But if you really want to be cool, you need some multimedia. 896 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:06,700 So let's see how complicated it is to add streaming audio to your website. 897 00:44:06,820 --> 00:44:07,140 Wow. 898 00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:08,040 Big, big shit. 899 00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:11,380 Back in the day, low bit rate, big crushed audio. 900 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:12,540 Please be as well. 901 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,280 Don't understand your drugs. 902 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:23,100 You can now stream your favorite music online in real time. 903 00:44:24,060 --> 00:44:24,820 Real player. 904 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:31,960 Download your real player today to get your audio streaming life off to a great start. 905 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:32,940 Not real complicated. 906 00:44:33,460 --> 00:44:35,860 With this emblaze.audio you've got now. 907 00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:36,420 That's right. 908 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,060 It sounds like it would be complicated. 909 00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,100 I mean, it's complicated just to listen to audio on a website. 910 00:44:40,100 --> 00:44:41,800 Check out the backdrop there. 911 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,300 What have we got going on here? 912 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,760 We've got a thing called Z. 913 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:52,180 It looks like a robot with a kind of American man's hat. 914 00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:56,280 Kind of a Yoshi Mitsu kind of fella. 915 00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:01,680 Maybe he has a Tommy gun or he's got some kind of Oracle in his hands. 916 00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,440 It looks like it could be cat. 917 00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,840 I don't know what that is there. 918 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:12,860 Probably some kind of Three Musketeers game or something. 919 00:45:12,860 --> 00:45:13,900 Looks bananas. 920 00:45:13,900 --> 00:45:17,460 Steel Team, a game called 921 00:45:17,460 --> 00:45:20,140 Steel Team. Could be Bananas. 922 00:45:20,140 --> 00:45:24,420 Don't know what that is there. A few chat topics 923 00:45:24,420 --> 00:45:26,500 up above. We've got Progen. 924 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:31,500 Progenators. I thought this was the game 925 00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:35,180 Pandemonium for the PlayStation and maybe it was a PC version 926 00:45:35,180 --> 00:45:37,880 but it's not. This kind of 927 00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:42,140 Peter Pan-esque figure at the side here. I'm going to take a 928 00:45:42,140 --> 00:45:45,600 guess on that as saying Brainbox 929 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:49,260 but there's nothing to suggest a kind of intellectual based 930 00:45:49,260 --> 00:45:52,080 puzzler or you know educative 931 00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:55,260 piece of software. Looks like it's a game 932 00:45:55,260 --> 00:45:58,160 and then what's that? A window or something? 933 00:45:59,140 --> 00:46:02,200 We'll never know guys because the resolution just is not 934 00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:02,780 good enough. 935 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,960 I know mate. I don't know. 936 00:46:08,700 --> 00:46:10,420 Paceman. That's us. That's me. 937 00:46:11,380 --> 00:46:13,940 What we've got there is probably a game called 938 00:46:13,940 --> 00:46:14,840 Spaceman 939 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,660 but it's cropped at the side and all you've got is 940 00:46:18,660 --> 00:46:22,560 Paceman. I'm just going to put myself in there into the mix 941 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,120 so I can have that above my head in the screen here. 942 00:46:30,900 --> 00:46:36,760 Paceman. I always wanted you to stream at Paceman. 943 00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,320 Paceman. I'm going to be talking really fast. 944 00:46:39,320 --> 00:47:02,040 Paceman. It sounds like it would be complicated. I mean it's complicated just to listen to audio on a website. You're saying I can just put it up on my site really easily. Yeah it's as simple as compressing any existing audio file and then putting it on your website. We got Jay Lucas here from Jail. website and now anybody with a Java supported browser comes into your website and hears audio instantaneously. We got Jay Lucas here everybody. 945 00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:18,960 Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas from Jail. It's as simple as compressing any existing audio file. 946 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:25,120 New Leonel 1992 up early there. Can't sleep? I've been up since six man. 947 00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:31,920 Putting it on your website and now anybody with a Java supported browser comes into your website and hears audio instantaneously. 948 00:47:32,020 --> 00:47:34,660 Alright this is the personal website you created for your son. 949 00:47:34,820 --> 00:47:35,160 That's right. 950 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:36,260 So this is real stuff. 951 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:38,240 You got a son. 952 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:44,220 Right now it doesn't have any audio on it but we want to say okay let's have some background music so when people come to the site it's more fun. 953 00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:48,100 Sure it's a very simple process. We open up the Emblaze audio interface. 954 00:47:48,100 --> 00:48:03,060 Going to get fucking blazed with Stu here and he's utilizing a real fucking heavy duty laptop computer but he's going out from that maybe into a VGA cable scenario. Plugging into an external Mon. 955 00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:07,680 It's two buttons so it can't get much easier. First button is open. 956 00:48:07,940 --> 00:48:09,760 Go find the WAV file that you're going to use. 957 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:19,660 Alright we have some samples here. WAV files we're going to use the music and now we hit the other button which is compress and we're saving it now with the Java class. 958 00:48:19,700 --> 00:48:27,540 Any update on the don't be cheeky situation Sean I wish I could update you with some great news about that but look I can't. I really can't. 959 00:48:27,540 --> 00:48:38,920 And that is going to follow me for a long time because I put it out there and it's just out there now that it's existing and I have to get up off my arse. 960 00:48:39,860 --> 00:48:45,820 Travel to another house and then go up into the attic. Doesn't have a styro. Doesn't have a ladder. 961 00:48:45,820 --> 00:48:55,580 I have to fucking do a bit of climbing. Acrobatics. Getting up there. And then I have to route through the boxes to find the fucking thing. 962 00:48:55,680 --> 00:49:03,520 Then I have to get the tape. The DV. Mini DV player. Which is an old camcorder. Hook that up via Firewire. 963 00:49:04,580 --> 00:49:05,720 1395 cable. 964 00:49:10,260 --> 00:49:23,460 Plug that into a new computer that doesn't have the input output. So then I have to find the yoke that changes Firewire into USB. 965 00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:29,900 You know it's basically a lot of laziness. Thank you very much Hitman3Fund. 966 00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:34,300 Interesting you should say Hitman3. I've seen that on the Game Pass. 967 00:49:35,340 --> 00:49:38,840 Howie Francis Tom. You've been visited by Hitman3FundFairy. 968 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,220 May the stereophonics be with you this holiday season. Thanks very much for that there. 969 00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,720 That might actually be an option that could be looked into very very soon. 970 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,920 Because that's the secret to how you... 971 00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:52,840 So we're compressing the sound file so it's small enough so it can real quickly move down the line. 972 00:49:52,840 --> 00:50:00,240 Right. Now when we say save it's compressing the file and creating not only a compressed audio file but also the HTML for you. 973 00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:01,240 It does that for you. 974 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:01,800 Unbelievable. 975 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:02,900 So now it's completed. 976 00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:03,720 Unbelievable. 977 00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:04,620 How much compression are we doing here? 978 00:50:05,060 --> 00:50:16,780 So it is Monty Python there at the top, at the back. There's a Monty Python scenario and then there's another Monty Python scenario. It's the Holy Grail there. Still no idea what that is there. Don't care. 979 00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:18,400 So now it's completed. 980 00:50:18,820 --> 00:50:21,160 Now how much compression are we doing here? This goes from what to what? 981 00:50:21,260 --> 00:50:27,300 Right. We'll show you right here. We have the original sample file. It was a whopping 2.5 megs or so. 982 00:50:27,380 --> 00:50:31,180 Right. And now we see the compressed file. Music is 50K. 983 00:50:31,180 --> 00:50:32,340 Wow. So that's pretty dramatic. 984 00:50:32,340 --> 00:50:33,140 Is it going to sound okay? 985 00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:33,600 Yeah. 986 00:50:33,720 --> 00:50:35,080 Can we take a look and see how this works? 987 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:35,280 Yeah. 988 00:50:35,380 --> 00:50:37,560 How do I actually get the file now into my homepage? 989 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:43,200 Well, you need to drop the HTML file that we created when we compressed the audio. 990 00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:44,180 Okay. So that code was automatic. 991 00:50:44,180 --> 00:50:57,540 Sorry. They've lost me here. This got really boring really fast. I'm not going to play the whole thing. I just need to get a fucking gist of it. So what's he doing here? He's recording into it. Do you record into this thing? 992 00:50:57,820 --> 00:50:58,780 First button is open. 993 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:00,700 Go find the WAV file that you're going to use. 994 00:51:00,820 --> 00:51:02,140 Right. You find the WAV file. 995 00:51:02,140 --> 00:51:06,260 All right. The secret to now, but also the HTML for you. 996 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:06,700 Oh. 997 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:11,720 And creating not only a compressed audio file, but also the HTML. 998 00:51:11,900 --> 00:51:18,660 All right. So then it converts it into compressed audio. That's why it's all shit when you hear it on the Internet. But this computer program here. 999 00:51:20,540 --> 00:51:27,580 Codes it. Codifies it as well. So you don't have to go fucking wasting time typing HTML text up. 1000 00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:34,820 And I remember being taught HTML years even after this, you know, an obsolete scenario. 1001 00:51:34,820 --> 00:51:37,640 In community college. 1002 00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:44,660 When there were programs out there then at the very time, Dreamweaver and such, which you base, you can build a website on. 1003 00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:49,060 But we still had to finish a module that included HTML. 1004 00:51:49,740 --> 00:51:50,600 And it just. 1005 00:51:51,740 --> 00:51:58,540 The technology is changing so fast that even stuff that you probably learn in college now is not going to be of any use to you in a few years time. 1006 00:51:58,600 --> 00:51:59,620 It is 50K. 1007 00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:00,740 So that's pretty dramatic. 1008 00:52:00,740 --> 00:52:01,460 Is it going to sound okay? 1009 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,060 From a technical standpoint. 1010 00:52:03,540 --> 00:52:03,940 Yeah. 1011 00:52:04,100 --> 00:52:05,460 Can we take a look and see how this works? 1012 00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:05,680 Yeah. 1013 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,940 Now how do I actually get the file now into my homepage? 1014 00:52:08,340 --> 00:52:13,580 Well, you need to drop the HTML file that we created when we compressed the audio. 1015 00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,780 So that code was automatically created by the software. 1016 00:52:15,900 --> 00:52:16,320 We created it. 1017 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,240 I'm going to code. 1018 00:52:17,820 --> 00:52:19,500 We got an applet right there. 1019 00:52:19,580 --> 00:52:22,080 We got the HTML head title. 1020 00:52:22,740 --> 00:52:26,160 We got emblaze audio player and title. 1021 00:52:26,780 --> 00:52:27,740 Head, body. 1022 00:52:27,740 --> 00:52:30,160 So I had to write up all these little things. 1023 00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:32,820 Whereas this program just does it for you. 1024 00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:34,820 And there's a range of programs that did it for you. 1025 00:52:36,140 --> 00:52:37,940 This is a little Java applet. 1026 00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:43,580 I now have to do a little cut and paste inside my original code. 1027 00:52:43,580 --> 00:52:43,740 Right. 1028 00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:45,720 And you could use page mill or anything else. 1029 00:52:45,780 --> 00:52:48,740 But we're just going to, for simplicity, we're going to copy that. 1030 00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:55,940 And now we're going to just drop in our regular page and press paste. 1031 00:52:56,420 --> 00:52:57,540 And we save that out. 1032 00:52:58,260 --> 00:52:59,820 And now when we come back to our page. 1033 00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,500 Eastern James Lucas. 1034 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:02,680 There, everybody. 1035 00:53:05,380 --> 00:53:07,300 A fantastic child. 1036 00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:09,040 We now have audio. 1037 00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:09,960 We have a little button down there. 1038 00:53:10,500 --> 00:53:11,440 Now we can hear it. 1039 00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:12,240 Background music. 1040 00:53:12,660 --> 00:53:13,700 You just do that in our time. 1041 00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,480 A great kid, everybody. 1042 00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,120 Spent the last nine months in training. 1043 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,120 He's got coaches, Kirsten and Jay. 1044 00:53:24,940 --> 00:53:25,860 Sample babble. 1045 00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,080 Let you hear my entire vocabulary. 1046 00:53:28,660 --> 00:53:31,740 If you can't understand this, you've had too many children. 1047 00:53:32,740 --> 00:53:33,780 Yeah, that's pretty quick. 1048 00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:34,780 Let me ask you the next thing. 1049 00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:36,840 I think you have a little sample babble that says there. 1050 00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,080 I mean, normally you want to get the kid's voice up there. 1051 00:53:39,100 --> 00:53:42,460 So the grandparents back east can log on to your website and listen to the kid. 1052 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:43,120 How do you do that? 1053 00:53:44,780 --> 00:53:46,140 Grandparents listen to the kid. 1054 00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,020 That was a link that we created. 1055 00:53:48,340 --> 00:53:48,840 And now we have. 1056 00:53:48,900 --> 00:53:49,560 We need to get. 1057 00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,840 We need to be allowed to let the grandparents listen to the kid. 1058 00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,500 The grandparents want to listen to the kid right now. 1059 00:53:55,580 --> 00:53:56,780 How do we codify that? 1060 00:53:56,780 --> 00:53:58,920 How do we compress audio with the kid? 1061 00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:00,040 And what's more? 1062 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,500 Can the grandparents work their way around a computer? 1063 00:54:03,660 --> 00:54:06,520 There's no point in doing all this work. 1064 00:54:06,820 --> 00:54:12,180 If you know, granddad or grandma can't log on and use a browser. 1065 00:54:13,180 --> 00:54:13,380 Yeah. 1066 00:54:13,740 --> 00:54:14,100 Okay. 1067 00:54:14,220 --> 00:54:14,920 So that came off. 1068 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:15,460 What? 1069 00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:18,960 That was a link that we created. 1070 00:54:19,240 --> 00:54:19,760 And now we have. 1071 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:20,180 Yeah. 1072 00:54:21,060 --> 00:54:21,500 Okay. 1073 00:54:21,620 --> 00:54:22,300 So that came off. 1074 00:54:22,380 --> 00:54:23,980 A little babble hot link that was on your. 1075 00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:25,700 And now we have. 1076 00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:27,620 Silent Hill. 1077 00:54:27,980 --> 00:54:28,860 And listen to the kid. 1078 00:54:29,020 --> 00:54:29,180 How do you. 1079 00:54:30,380 --> 00:54:31,500 Listen to the kid. 1080 00:54:31,620 --> 00:54:34,900 You want to get the kid's voice up there so the grandparents back east can log on to your 1081 00:54:34,900 --> 00:54:35,240 website. 1082 00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:36,360 And listen to the kid. 1083 00:54:36,460 --> 00:54:37,000 How do you do that? 1084 00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:37,900 So we just. 1085 00:54:38,020 --> 00:54:39,560 That was a link that we created. 1086 00:54:39,900 --> 00:54:40,380 And now we have. 1087 00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:42,120 Okay. 1088 00:54:42,260 --> 00:54:42,940 So that came off. 1089 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,900 A little babble hot link that was on your homepage. 1090 00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:46,300 Now how do you get. 1091 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:51,680 And deck says he sounds 40. 1092 00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:56,500 And Antonio Prola says he sounds ill. 1093 00:54:56,500 --> 00:54:57,500 Windows. 1094 00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:25,400 I'm a Windows kind of guy. 1095 00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:33,400 what's this game here look crazy fight is it you fucking get crazy fight man for for dos savage 1096 00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:40,280 did you ever play crazy fight for win 95 but just record on any uh sound recorder which comes so 1097 00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:48,600 people may not know but if you got a window ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma those pc you've got a sound 1098 00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:52,120 recorder built in there and you can just record those little samples and put them in there very 1099 00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:55,640 simple process all right now you showed something that look kind of complicated which was cutting and 1100 00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:59,800 pasting the html code you say you don't have to really do all that if you're inside say a page 1101 00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:04,200 multi-time environment you're using an editor an html editor you can just drag and drop that applet 1102 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:10,600 right into your you don't tend to think about the html community page and then it's finished what's the 1103 00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:14,680 trick j why is it so easy to do this and it seems like audio is so complicated when you go onto a 1104 00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:19,240 website you have to pull down the players and do you have the right place bit of a slip up from stew 1105 00:56:19,240 --> 00:56:23,800 there trick j like the way you said what's the trick j and i when he said that i thought that was 1106 00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:31,800 one word trick j and also a bit of a slip and stew looks over to us just to let us know that he knows 1107 00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:35,960 that we know that there was something going on there i don't know if you you missed that or you 1108 00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,720 seen that let's have a look it seems like audio is so complicated when you go onto a website you have to 1109 00:56:39,720 --> 00:56:46,920 pull down the book and then he knows he said he said a little bit of a a fuck up there thank you 1110 00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:52,440 very much everything hip hop very very kindy how she couldn't couldn't very fucking finally at the moment 1111 00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:58,280 look watch this stew does he look is that the look he gives i think he looks over again 1112 00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:08,360 no that was the glance that was what he gave us that was the the bone he threw us to let us know 1113 00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:17,240 that he knows that we know there right there and i don't have the audio file ready to rock for that 1114 00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:20,280 little moment there it's a shame it's a shame but now we do 1115 00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:28,920 just drag and drop that applet right into your page and then it's finished what's the trick j why 1116 00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:32,920 is it so easy to do this and it seems like audio is so complicated when you go onto a website you have 1117 00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:36,760 to pull down the players and do you have the right player and so and so forth well it's a combination 1118 00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:42,680 of compression algorithms that we've developed and java technology that lets us uh java everybody audio 1119 00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:46,920 for the masses all right so again doesn't matter what's going on at the server doesn't matter what's 1120 00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,920 going on at the client end on my website i can just stick in the audio like this all you would need 1121 00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:55,720 to do from here is just copy all of those files in the player folder onto your web server and you're 1122 00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:59,640 finished it's a it's a very simple process all right thank you very much all right well if you're 1123 00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:04,680 designing our website for an organization you want to make sure your site is accessible to the largest 1124 00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:12,120 number of people that means following some basic guidelines and design standards to help standards for 1125 00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:17,960 people that means following some basic guidelines and design standards to help you in this basic 1126 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:24,120 guidelines and design standards standards basic guidelines and design standards to help you in 1127 00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:29,720 this test wonder if we can really just slow the standards down a little bit that means following some 1128 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,320 basic guidelines and designs 1129 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:57,640 standards standards just to get the tone of it and back again for a normal speed to help you in this task 1130 00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:06,440 we visited one web designer who has set the standard for accessibility in web pages standard setting design visibility 1131 00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:15,480 in the physical world they are increasingly common on sidewalks physical doorways ramps the simple 1132 00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:22,520 so glad she said ramps there fucking hell pages i thought we'd gone back to a dodgy era 1133 00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:32,280 in the physical world they are increasingly common on sidewalks and in doorways ramps the simple inclines 1134 00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:39,960 that mean access to a disabled traveler but to persons with hearing or sight problems entry barriers also 1135 00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:48,840 exist on the internet today check out that special device she's got there it's very you can mini sensual ball 1136 00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:53,800 there it's a it's a rolodex it's an upside down mouse ball also exists 1137 00:59:53,800 --> 01:00:03,560 Big, big functionality, real-time ergonomics, and superb 360-degree rotation. 1138 01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:05,280 ...on the Internet. 1139 01:00:05,860 --> 01:00:09,220 And you can sensually tease that ball all day long. 1140 01:00:09,420 --> 01:00:11,060 It's not going to wear you down at all. 1141 01:00:11,140 --> 01:00:15,340 Today, it is relatively simple to make websites accessible to everyone. 1142 01:00:16,220 --> 01:00:17,800 The city of San Jose, California... 1143 01:00:18,540 --> 01:00:19,260 Trackball. 1144 01:00:19,260 --> 01:00:24,340 ...decided to do just that, by adding electronic ramps to their website. 1145 01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:30,860 And as I looked at this issue, I began to see that out there on the net, there were resources for universal design. 1146 01:00:31,820 --> 01:00:33,200 Accessibility options. 1147 01:00:33,460 --> 01:00:41,240 And that by developing web disability access standards, I would have a, based on universal design, 1148 01:00:41,780 --> 01:00:47,360 people with disabilities would have access to our website and not be locked out. 1149 01:00:47,940 --> 01:00:52,440 Altering a page to make it accessible is neither expensive nor complicated. 1150 01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:55,660 It's a matter of good design and common sense. 1151 01:00:55,660 --> 01:00:56,880 Wow, that's great design. 1152 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:57,440 ...sense. 1153 01:00:58,060 --> 01:00:59,980 There is even a diagnostic... 1154 01:00:59,980 --> 01:01:01,100 Traditional Bobby. 1155 01:01:01,580 --> 01:01:08,420 ...site on the Internet called Bobby, after the English constable, that will evaluate your newly accessible website. 1156 01:01:08,940 --> 01:01:11,440 If people are doing a website... 1157 01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:13,780 We've got Randy Temez here. 1158 01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:15,020 He's an Internet user. 1159 01:01:15,020 --> 01:01:20,280 ...at home and putting up pictures of their family or their particular products. 1160 01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:24,400 Include some description about what that picture is. 1161 01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,540 If it's a picture of my family and dog. 1162 01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:36,280 It's a Randy Temez scenario with an ear stud, a golden ear stud, and a finely coiffed thatch. 1163 01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:41,600 Give some kind of verbal written text description of what that is. 1164 01:01:42,100 --> 01:01:48,040 If you're going to be creating your own website, try to ensure that it's not just a pretty graphical picture, 1165 01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,040 because a lot of people can't access that. 1166 01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:50,780 ...airboard. 1167 01:01:51,340 --> 01:01:52,380 ...apostrophe s. 1168 01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:53,520 ...apostrophe s. 1169 01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:54,460 ...apostrophe s. 1170 01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:55,420 ...conventions commas. 1171 01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:56,200 Thank God. 1172 01:01:56,420 --> 01:02:01,140 What an insult that fucking voice Stephen Hawking's voice box was at the time. 1173 01:02:01,220 --> 01:02:06,420 Now we've progressed to a fucking more natural sort of, what have you called it? 1174 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,080 Siri and all that kind of stuff. 1175 01:02:08,580 --> 01:02:13,100 Actually saying that, those fucking TikToks that you see of people and they've put a voice over, 1176 01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:13,700 and it's the same. 1177 01:02:14,460 --> 01:02:17,420 The Computer Chronicles creating own website. 1178 01:02:17,420 --> 01:02:22,600 I can't believe that I ate all these burgers in one go. 1179 01:02:24,220 --> 01:02:25,660 L-M-A-O. 1180 01:02:26,180 --> 01:02:29,820 Why have the, the app is so rich? 1181 01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:33,940 Do you know they've got so many users and so much money, presumably, TikTok. 1182 01:02:34,940 --> 01:02:40,020 They can invest in a better voice over than that fucking annoying voice that they have. 1183 01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:43,180 Randy uses a screen reader called Deck Talk. 1184 01:02:43,180 --> 01:02:49,640 With software, the device can read text, open menus, and find hypertext links. 1185 01:02:49,980 --> 01:02:55,360 But there are some things it cannot do, such as describe images that lack descriptions. 1186 01:02:56,200 --> 01:03:00,500 It is one example of how even personal homepages can become accessible. 1187 01:03:00,980 --> 01:03:03,760 Think about your eyes being busy and not being able to see the screen. 1188 01:03:03,860 --> 01:03:04,420 What would you do? 1189 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,780 Think about if you are printing up a... 1190 01:03:07,780 --> 01:03:10,420 I know I don't have TikTok, but you see it everywhere. 1191 01:03:10,540 --> 01:03:12,660 Never downloaded TikTok, never will, says Sean. 1192 01:03:13,780 --> 01:03:14,180 Understood. 1193 01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:21,320 But we can't escape it now, because you get people recording the TikToks and then they even appear on fucking YouTube, you know? 1194 01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,880 You're watching TikTok videos on YouTube in this shit fucking format. 1195 01:03:25,620 --> 01:03:28,480 When we've, we've gone backwards, you know? 1196 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:34,600 We've gone, we're filming videos just to suit the fact that we, we view a phone on a, it should only be on a phone. 1197 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:37,940 You shouldn't see it on a 16.9 screen, you know? 1198 01:03:39,820 --> 01:03:40,620 Disgusting stuff. 1199 01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,140 I think they have to rethink the phone. 1200 01:03:43,480 --> 01:04:00,380 The phone technology or the camera in the phones needs to be reconstructed or they need to strip it down and come back with a better piece of technology that even if you record it in portrait, you still get a landscape video should you need it, you know? 1201 01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:05,840 If they can make 3D cameras, then they can surely fucking make something like that. 1202 01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:12,860 But at the same time, it's probably doubling, you're probably doubling the amount of data that you're putting on your phone. 1203 01:04:12,940 --> 01:04:21,020 But saying that, I'd still rather watch a proxy media replica of the video you're filming in portrait. 1204 01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:28,200 You know, a proxy landscape replica of the portrait video than I would them watching the portrait. 1205 01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:29,280 Saying that though, would you? 1206 01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:32,600 You probably, you'd miss the definition. 1207 01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:35,400 Unless, unless it's really important, you know? 1208 01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,440 It's fucking annoying, like. 1209 01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:41,500 It's annoying and nobody's, nobody's making a stand against this stuff. 1210 01:04:42,620 --> 01:04:47,280 We're all just, it's like people just buying it all up and going along with the program. 1211 01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:49,400 A video clip, an audio. 1212 01:04:49,940 --> 01:04:52,240 And think about what if, what if you can't hear that? 1213 01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:54,140 Thank you very much there, Big Red. 1214 01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:57,600 Thanks for helping me get through this Monday morning hangover. 1215 01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:00,080 You're on the pace last night, you were. 1216 01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:02,760 I wasn't. 1217 01:05:03,060 --> 01:05:05,260 That's why I'm streaming now at this fucking shit hour. 1218 01:05:05,340 --> 01:05:06,720 ...optioning for that. 1219 01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:16,800 If you are going to have hyperlinks, of course, please don't put them in images unless you have descriptions as to what that link is. 1220 01:05:17,060 --> 01:05:23,120 Making a personal homepage available to everyone may not be the first thing most web users think of. 1221 01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:27,400 But a small change can mean a great deal to some web surfers. 1222 01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:27,720 Yeah. 1223 01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:29,460 What it means to me is when... 1224 01:05:29,460 --> 01:05:33,620 Alright, alright, alright, alright, okay. 1225 01:05:40,580 --> 01:05:41,900 Shabba-dabba-boom. 1226 01:05:47,020 --> 01:05:47,860 Just... 1227 01:05:47,860 --> 01:05:52,980 Look at that, that was a sensual point from the floor manager to stew. 1228 01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,600 Just such auteurs. 1229 01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,840 Pure fucking auteurs. 1230 01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:02,400 There's a little look back to the camera there from the stew pot. 1231 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:04,080 And we're at 60 hertz. 1232 01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:06,580 Yeah, look at that. 1233 01:06:07,580 --> 01:06:09,740 Crazy fucking crash zoom out. 1234 01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:13,580 Crazy world we're living in here. 1235 01:06:13,580 --> 01:06:15,760 Back out there. 1236 01:06:16,420 --> 01:06:18,800 Back out to floor manager. 1237 01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,420 Wide shot of the studio. 1238 01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,500 Floor manager foreground. 1239 01:06:24,060 --> 01:06:24,900 Pointing at stew. 1240 01:06:24,900 --> 01:06:32,640 Beautiful stuff. 1241 01:06:32,860 --> 01:06:33,920 Thank you very much, sir. 1242 01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:35,240 Paddy Conway. 1243 01:06:35,500 --> 01:06:36,200 How are you, Francis? 1244 01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:37,760 Do you still have your old vine saved? 1245 01:06:38,140 --> 01:06:40,100 Just when you mentioned TikTok. 1246 01:06:40,520 --> 01:06:44,180 I don't have them saved, but I do have them somewhere. 1247 01:06:44,180 --> 01:06:54,060 And it's a fucking don't be cheeky scenario again where it's in a box probably in the attic with the fucking mini DV tapes, you know. 1248 01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:59,880 And I'm very against, even though that you could save stuff online now and buy lots of space online. 1249 01:07:00,240 --> 01:07:03,960 Which is probably a good idea to do, you know, to back up all your old content. 1250 01:07:04,860 --> 01:07:05,220 Content. 1251 01:07:05,620 --> 01:07:11,200 I think it's, I'd still like to have it in a safe box space in case it gets wiped off the net. 1252 01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:17,700 But then I think, what if there was a fire in the house or they got damaged in like a disaster or something and wouldn't have them then. 1253 01:07:17,860 --> 01:07:18,940 So I don't know. 1254 01:07:18,980 --> 01:07:20,220 At the end of the day, it's pure laziness. 1255 01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:24,240 And then at the end of that day, I think, what about people a hundred years ago? 1256 01:07:24,320 --> 01:07:28,560 They didn't even have any of this stuff, you know, and they didn't even worry about losing it, you know. 1257 01:07:29,060 --> 01:07:32,260 They just lived by the seat of their pants day to day. 1258 01:07:32,620 --> 01:07:38,060 And the people around them, the close community that they had around them was their world. 1259 01:07:38,380 --> 01:07:43,160 And even though that might have nowadays, we go, oh, you shouldn't be shaped. 1260 01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:50,320 You know, you should step out of your boundaries and become yourself, individualized, self-actualized and live your own life and all that. 1261 01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:57,980 And realize there's a world out there and do your own thing and don't be held back by those who are in your immediate circle, who, if they are, you know, you might not know. 1262 01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:01,480 It could be internalized repression of your own ambition. 1263 01:08:02,180 --> 01:08:14,640 But there could be a lot to be said or maybe there is a lot to be said about it because you could, you could be free of the endless opportunity that we, you have now, seemingly have now. 1264 01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:17,360 It's like you've endless opportunity to go and do stuff. 1265 01:08:17,460 --> 01:08:20,280 You've an endless opportunity to analyze what could be wrong. 1266 01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:25,680 There's a lot of ways in which you can, you know, look at yourself and change. 1267 01:08:25,780 --> 01:08:33,240 And it could be, you could be seeing therapists, you could be fucking medicating, you could be out fucking liberating, gyrating, all that kind of jazz. 1268 01:08:33,660 --> 01:08:40,220 But maybe being stuck in a little fucking bubble could have been good for you as well at the same time. 1269 01:08:40,220 --> 01:08:50,640 Saying that, the, the, what is the, the expected age of people has gone up, but that's just probably evolution and we've got easier access to food. 1270 01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:59,620 We don't fucking labor in, in, you know, smoky factories and all that kind of stuff, you know? 1271 01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:03,360 So, um, don't even know what I'm talking about now. 1272 01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:04,040 Just keep going. 1273 01:09:04,260 --> 01:09:06,540 Thanks very much for the tip there, Plissken. 1274 01:09:06,780 --> 01:09:09,100 The comb over and die are fooling no one. 1275 01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:09,860 What are you on about, man? 1276 01:09:10,580 --> 01:09:11,360 What are you on about, man? 1277 01:09:11,420 --> 01:09:13,520 Website always means having to make a decision. 1278 01:09:14,060 --> 01:09:15,920 Wake and Shafé like a wake and bake. 1279 01:09:16,060 --> 01:09:17,720 Stuart Shafé, Computer Chronicles. 1280 01:09:19,220 --> 01:09:28,440 Designing an attractive website always means having to make a decision between a site that looks good and is full of cool graphics or a site that's lean and simple but loads fast. 1281 01:09:28,700 --> 01:09:31,920 However, there's now a technology that lets you have the best of both worlds. 1282 01:09:31,980 --> 01:09:35,340 And I guess, Dave, that's the idea behind Intel's Quick Web technology. 1283 01:09:35,440 --> 01:09:36,320 What does it actually do? 1284 01:09:36,740 --> 01:09:39,100 Well, Stuart, Quick Web, another tight little word. 1285 01:09:39,460 --> 01:09:41,820 And this guy's fucking dual wielding. 1286 01:09:41,860 --> 01:09:43,640 He's got Akimbo laptops. 1287 01:09:44,340 --> 01:09:45,980 You'd need two laps for those bios. 1288 01:09:46,940 --> 01:10:01,480 And if he didn't have one of these tiered, lovely, custom Computer Chronicles tiered desk outliers, I call them, juts, then he'd be fucking Akimbo-izing those on two laps, on two legs. 1289 01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:06,660 He'd have that on the left thigh, pumping away with the left hand, and he'd be rat- 1290 01:10:06,660 --> 01:10:09,160 I don't know what I was going to say there. 1291 01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:11,320 He'd be rattling that right one on the right leg. 1292 01:10:12,380 --> 01:10:16,860 He'd be ratifying it or he'd be rasterizing it with his fucking right hand. 1293 01:10:16,860 --> 01:10:19,600 Just really rasterizing that right one. 1294 01:10:20,080 --> 01:10:24,160 And he'd absolutely be fucking hammering the keyboard on that. 1295 01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:24,940 And look at that. 1296 01:10:25,300 --> 01:10:27,060 What are you putting in there? 1297 01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:31,360 What are you putting inside that machine that's so fucking thick and dense? 1298 01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:32,360 It'd be so heavy. 1299 01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:33,880 Anyway. 1300 01:10:33,940 --> 01:10:35,760 Stuart, there's essentially two key pieces to it. 1301 01:10:35,820 --> 01:10:36,540 One is compression. 1302 01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:38,060 We've got Dave Preston here. 1303 01:10:38,300 --> 01:10:39,200 Squeeze the extra. 1304 01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:43,660 We didn't get the fucking response we wanted there. 1305 01:10:43,780 --> 01:10:44,740 Dave Preston, everybody. 1306 01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:54,500 Go on, Dave. 1307 01:10:56,100 --> 01:10:57,000 Go on, Dave. 1308 01:10:59,260 --> 01:11:19,680 He's a great communicator. 1309 01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:20,440 Look at the hands. 1310 01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:21,180 Look at the gestures. 1311 01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:22,220 Look at the body language. 1312 01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,080 There was a little touch of the nose there. 1313 01:11:24,140 --> 01:11:25,400 A bit of fucking tic-tac. 1314 01:11:25,620 --> 01:11:26,740 Nine to four business. 1315 01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:28,220 The Intel server out there at the ISP. 1316 01:11:28,340 --> 01:11:28,880 See that? 1317 01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:29,840 Nine to four look. 1318 01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:34,220 That's a bit of a fucking dodgy one right there. 1319 01:11:34,300 --> 01:11:35,100 It's the Bosnich. 1320 01:11:35,460 --> 01:11:38,000 We call that move the fucking Bosnich, man. 1321 01:11:39,180 --> 01:11:43,880 Don't be doing that, man, when you're fucking playing against Premier League teams who have, 1322 01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:44,420 you know. 1323 01:11:46,420 --> 01:11:48,880 Anybody else going through that ISP in that area. 1324 01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:49,800 I'm not going to say. 1325 01:11:49,980 --> 01:11:50,240 Forget it. 1326 01:11:50,280 --> 01:11:51,160 You can get it just from there. 1327 01:11:51,220 --> 01:11:52,800 They don't have to go all the way back to Rome or wherever. 1328 01:11:52,980 --> 01:11:53,160 All right. 1329 01:11:53,180 --> 01:11:54,380 So the quick web technology. 1330 01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:55,560 A lot of touching going on. 1331 01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:56,820 A lot of fucking tell there. 1332 01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:01,400 I mean, if I was playing poker and I came up against this guy, I'd be going, what's he fucking 1333 01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:02,860 symbolizing there with this? 1334 01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:04,540 He's got the spread bet. 1335 01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:05,980 That's called the spread bet. 1336 01:12:05,980 --> 01:12:08,920 People that use an ISP that has Intel quick web technology on it. 1337 01:12:09,260 --> 01:12:09,860 The first person. 1338 01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:12,520 Then he's got to walk the dog. 1339 01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:13,100 Watch this. 1340 01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:16,640 Right up there. 1341 01:12:16,700 --> 01:12:17,460 He's walking the chicken. 1342 01:12:17,680 --> 01:12:18,440 Hits that site. 1343 01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:19,420 Makes a copy on. 1344 01:12:19,480 --> 01:12:20,400 That's called the Superman. 1345 01:12:20,860 --> 01:12:21,340 Just there. 1346 01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:23,380 It's going flying from left to right. 1347 01:12:23,940 --> 01:12:24,340 Wank. 1348 01:12:26,180 --> 01:12:26,620 Wank. 1349 01:12:27,020 --> 01:12:27,380 Right that. 1350 01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:29,200 On the Intel server out there at the ISP. 1351 01:12:29,380 --> 01:12:30,980 And then he's got the Bosnich. 1352 01:12:31,740 --> 01:12:32,500 Do the Bosnich. 1353 01:12:32,500 --> 01:12:36,820 Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. 1354 01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:38,160 Anybody else going through. 1355 01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:39,620 And then he's got the whole world. 1356 01:12:39,780 --> 01:12:42,160 That one's called the whole world in his hands. 1357 01:12:42,260 --> 01:12:45,860 He's got the whole world in his hands. 1358 01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:47,380 Going through that ISP. 1359 01:12:47,480 --> 01:12:48,680 And then he's got the open book. 1360 01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:49,520 I'm an open book. 1361 01:12:49,580 --> 01:12:51,640 It can read me like an open book kind of guy. 1362 01:12:51,900 --> 01:12:52,700 In that area. 1363 01:12:52,980 --> 01:12:53,920 Can get it just from there. 1364 01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:54,400 They don't have to go. 1365 01:12:54,540 --> 01:12:55,660 You've got a zigzag. 1366 01:12:56,120 --> 01:12:57,260 And away you go. 1367 01:12:57,500 --> 01:12:58,800 Then he's got the head scratch. 1368 01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:01,520 He's got the fucking head scratch at the end. 1369 01:13:02,100 --> 01:13:04,900 It's a fucking busy busy busy site. 1370 01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:08,980 Let's go back one more time and see all that in its uninterrupted glory. 1371 01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:12,060 Well Stuart there's essentially two key pieces to it. 1372 01:13:12,140 --> 01:13:15,300 One is compression where we squeeze the extra bits out of these big websites. 1373 01:13:15,540 --> 01:13:16,700 It's got the fucking squeeze. 1374 01:13:16,860 --> 01:13:18,540 It's called that's called the orange crusher. 1375 01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:21,880 And you're always going to be interrupted uninterrupted. 1376 01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:24,420 But I can't stop this. 1377 01:13:24,460 --> 01:13:25,440 He's doing the peppermint. 1378 01:13:25,440 --> 01:13:28,660 That's called the fucking the Preston peppermint special. 1379 01:13:28,660 --> 01:13:30,560 Squeeze the extra bits out of these big websites. 1380 01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:31,600 Extra bits. 1381 01:13:31,660 --> 01:13:34,720 He wants to get the extra bits and pulp out of the fucking peppercorns. 1382 01:13:36,140 --> 01:13:38,380 The Preston peppermint expressway. 1383 01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:40,060 Deluxe edition. 1384 01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:43,340 He's got casting. 1385 01:13:43,340 --> 01:13:43,800 He's fishing. 1386 01:13:44,060 --> 01:13:45,740 He's casting off into the river there. 1387 01:13:46,620 --> 01:13:47,260 Look at this. 1388 01:13:47,400 --> 01:13:48,040 Castaway. 1389 01:13:49,920 --> 01:13:50,880 Tommy Hanks. 1390 01:13:56,880 --> 01:13:58,960 Now we're back full circle again. 1391 01:13:59,820 --> 01:14:03,900 The first person that hits that site makes a copy on the Intel server out there at the ISP. 1392 01:14:04,620 --> 01:14:05,760 Dodgy stuff though. 1393 01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:06,160 You know. 1394 01:14:06,460 --> 01:14:07,520 I mean this is what we're. 1395 01:14:11,740 --> 01:14:12,640 We have. 1396 01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:14,840 Tonight at nine. 1397 01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:17,280 Tonight at nine on the Spatues. 1398 01:14:20,380 --> 01:14:21,880 The computer chronicles. 1399 01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:24,940 The computer man who went third Reich. 1400 01:14:26,380 --> 01:14:29,060 The Preston peppermint extreme special edition. 1401 01:14:29,740 --> 01:14:31,180 And the Bosnich files. 1402 01:14:33,180 --> 01:14:35,180 Anybody else going through that ISP. 1403 01:14:35,180 --> 01:14:35,180 Anybody else going through that ISP. 1404 01:14:35,180 --> 01:14:35,980 That area. 1405 01:14:35,980 --> 01:14:37,240 Can get it just from there. 1406 01:14:37,240 --> 01:14:38,860 They don't have to go all the way back to Rome or wherever. 1407 01:14:38,860 --> 01:14:41,960 The quick web technology sits in my ISP. 1408 01:14:42,120 --> 01:14:43,120 Not at the client end. 1409 01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:44,060 Not at the server end. 1410 01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:44,520 But in the middle. 1411 01:14:44,700 --> 01:14:47,840 One of the cool things about this is you can get the speed up from Intel quick web technology 1412 01:14:47,840 --> 01:14:49,120 without having to install any hardware. 1413 01:14:49,340 --> 01:14:52,240 It's got some sweet little moves coming up here as well. 1414 01:14:52,280 --> 01:14:52,740 It's beautiful. 1415 01:14:52,860 --> 01:14:54,280 How long are we going to be on this guy? 1416 01:14:54,340 --> 01:14:56,440 Because we've only just got into it for 20 seconds. 1417 01:14:56,880 --> 01:14:58,280 It could be a three minute interview. 1418 01:14:58,880 --> 01:15:02,060 We could be here for 20 minutes on this guy alone. 1419 01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:04,580 Cool things about this is you can get the speed up from Intel. 1420 01:15:05,380 --> 01:15:07,000 So he's honest John. 1421 01:15:07,380 --> 01:15:08,480 You can get the speed up. 1422 01:15:08,580 --> 01:15:09,660 He's gone for the spreader. 1423 01:15:09,940 --> 01:15:15,260 It's a double spread scenario again which says look I'm laying the info down on the table for you here. 1424 01:15:15,980 --> 01:15:19,940 I'm about to delve into something thick, big and I hope I've got your attention. 1425 01:15:20,380 --> 01:15:21,440 What does he come up with next? 1426 01:15:21,540 --> 01:15:23,520 What else does he throw into the mix? 1427 01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:27,320 And he's going from left to right. 1428 01:15:28,060 --> 01:15:29,440 Got hardware over there. 1429 01:15:30,900 --> 01:15:31,860 Oh it's a clap. 1430 01:15:31,920 --> 01:15:32,660 He's a clap daddy. 1431 01:15:33,240 --> 01:15:34,220 It's a clap back. 1432 01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:38,400 But that clap back it was a transition out of Christ. 1433 01:15:38,980 --> 01:15:40,720 He went for Christ air. 1434 01:15:41,300 --> 01:15:42,880 Do you know the way Jesus would be like that? 1435 01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:45,920 Not on the cross but you know like 1436 01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:55,280 That was a Terminator 2 church edition. 1437 01:15:55,280 --> 01:15:57,280 Ha ha ha. 1438 01:15:58,320 --> 01:15:59,500 Ha ha. 1439 01:15:59,960 --> 01:16:02,000 Ha ha ha. 1440 01:16:03,440 --> 01:16:05,420 Ha ha ha. 1441 01:16:06,100 --> 01:16:07,140 Ha ha ha. 1442 01:16:07,980 --> 01:16:11,020 Bread and water. 1443 01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:14,660 Word of the Lord. 1444 01:16:14,660 --> 01:16:16,860 Lord. 1445 01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:19,520 Church. 1446 01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:24,700 So he's got an open hands. 1447 01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:26,040 He's got the bread and the wine. 1448 01:16:27,620 --> 01:16:29,260 And that's called Christ Air. 1449 01:16:29,660 --> 01:16:33,460 And it goes from Christ Air into a fucking satanic clap. 1450 01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:35,600 It's a real mix of messages here. 1451 01:16:35,680 --> 01:16:37,120 Let's have a look at that in real time. 1452 01:16:38,300 --> 01:16:39,140 Boom. 1453 01:16:40,180 --> 01:16:40,660 Boom. 1454 01:16:41,660 --> 01:16:42,900 Boom, you're off to the races. 1455 01:16:42,900 --> 01:16:43,960 He said boom. 1456 01:16:43,960 --> 01:16:44,960 Boom. 1457 01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:45,140 Boom. 1458 01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:49,020 All right. 1459 01:16:49,020 --> 01:16:50,560 Let's take a look at what it actually does. 1460 01:16:50,660 --> 01:16:53,520 What is the speed factor that I get if I use quick web technology? 1461 01:16:53,520 --> 01:16:55,060 Well, you hit a few sites and you can see. 1462 01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:58,680 He transitioned from Hitler to Christ at pace. 1463 01:16:59,160 --> 01:16:59,580 For yourself. 1464 01:16:59,640 --> 01:17:00,680 Because it depends on the site. 1465 01:17:00,740 --> 01:17:01,940 How much graphics are on the site. 1466 01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:02,040 All right. 1467 01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:03,000 So set up what you've done here. 1468 01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:04,460 We've got a little AB race going. 1469 01:17:04,600 --> 01:17:05,740 Two identical computers. 1470 01:17:05,740 --> 01:17:08,260 They're identical modems and software and everything. 1471 01:17:08,540 --> 01:17:10,560 They're going to the same modem bank in Oregon. 1472 01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:12,220 Going out to the internet. 1473 01:17:12,380 --> 01:17:13,200 One goes through. 1474 01:17:13,260 --> 01:17:14,580 Another fucking clap. 1475 01:17:14,780 --> 01:17:15,560 And this is one. 1476 01:17:15,660 --> 01:17:20,460 He's about to do the trick where you fucking pretend that you've lost your thumb. 1477 01:17:20,920 --> 01:17:22,300 Do you know that one where you go like this? 1478 01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:24,260 Hey, do you want to see something cool, lads? 1479 01:17:24,420 --> 01:17:24,900 Look at that. 1480 01:17:24,980 --> 01:17:25,140 Hey. 1481 01:17:26,260 --> 01:17:27,200 What that is. 1482 01:17:27,940 --> 01:17:29,560 This is magic secrets revealed. 1483 01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:32,200 You thought it was Stuart Chaffee's Computer Chronicles with me. 1484 01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:35,000 You just do that with your thumb, man. 1485 01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:37,020 And fucking put that bit of the thumb. 1486 01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:37,660 This bit here. 1487 01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:39,260 Hide that behind the palm. 1488 01:17:40,320 --> 01:17:41,020 Go like that. 1489 01:17:43,220 --> 01:17:44,240 Hey, presto. 1490 01:17:44,980 --> 01:17:47,180 You've got a fucking disappearing thumb. 1491 01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,120 You take that second thumb like that then. 1492 01:17:50,620 --> 01:17:53,140 And then you're really feeling the dream. 1493 01:17:54,500 --> 01:17:54,860 Sophistic. 1494 01:17:54,980 --> 01:17:55,660 Thanks very much. 1495 01:17:55,660 --> 01:18:02,820 What he was trying to do there was transition from Hitler to Christ air to thumb trick magic. 1496 01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,960 But he didn't have the balls to really follow through on it. 1497 01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:07,040 Thanks very much, Sophistics. 1498 01:18:07,200 --> 01:18:08,080 Lovely start in the week. 1499 01:18:08,380 --> 01:18:09,560 But yourself and Stu, thanks very much. 1500 01:18:09,620 --> 01:18:11,540 It's not just Stu that we're starting with, Sophistics. 1501 01:18:11,920 --> 01:18:13,040 It's this guy, Preston. 1502 01:18:13,080 --> 01:18:16,440 The Preston Peppermill Third Reich Edition. 1503 01:18:16,700 --> 01:18:25,000 He has definitely straddled the line between what is and isn't acceptable in the modern age. 1504 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:30,680 And those signifiers that he was kicking off about Nazi Germany, doing that kind of Mark Bosnich stuff, 1505 01:18:30,780 --> 01:18:34,860 really has cast a dark light over the whole proceedings. 1506 01:18:35,340 --> 01:18:37,180 I can't even remember what this guy is here for. 1507 01:18:37,440 --> 01:18:38,540 Said he's from Intel. 1508 01:18:39,020 --> 01:18:41,660 Intel Quick Web Technology Server, though, on its way out to the Internet. 1509 01:18:42,240 --> 01:18:44,940 And that's the one with the pop-up there that you see in the window. 1510 01:18:44,940 --> 01:18:45,640 All right, so the only... 1511 01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:47,080 Pop-up, the toolbox. 1512 01:18:47,500 --> 01:18:50,420 The only variable is one's using Quick Web, one isn't... 1513 01:18:50,420 --> 01:18:51,220 All the other parameters... 1514 01:18:51,220 --> 01:18:52,440 Right, the PC here... 1515 01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:53,620 Ha, ha, ha. 1516 01:18:54,500 --> 01:18:55,560 Ha, ha. 1517 01:18:55,880 --> 01:18:56,280 Ha, ha. 1518 01:18:56,280 --> 01:19:05,340 I think they should take the Terminator 2 theme and implement that into songs of praise or mass. 1519 01:19:05,580 --> 01:19:06,720 Just mass in general. 1520 01:19:06,840 --> 01:19:12,880 I know Catholic mass isn't as big on the happy, clappy, sing-songy vibes as Protestant mass. 1521 01:19:13,420 --> 01:19:24,580 Or if there are any prods out there watching who want some information on how to spice up your fucking proceedings over the Christmas time, I'm your man. 1522 01:19:24,580 --> 01:19:31,380 I think you should actually go leaning heavy to the sci-fi era fucking theme tune, starting with fucking Terminator 2. 1523 01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:42,980 And do some kind of Christianic Terminator 2 humming, singing, and Gregorian kind of chanting as well for your Christmas celebrations. 1524 01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:47,780 I think it would add a little bit of zip and zest to what has become a tired format. 1525 01:19:47,780 --> 01:20:06,980 Don't want to offend anyone out there in the church world, but your diminishing returns and dwindling numbers attending your ceremonies only serve to highlight the fact that you haven't embraced Terminator 2 theme tune as a new Catholic or Christian theme tune. 1526 01:20:07,060 --> 01:20:07,640 Think about it. 1527 01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:08,640 I don't think... 1528 01:20:08,640 --> 01:20:16,600 James Cameron is going to be on your fucking tits about that stuff. 1529 01:20:16,700 --> 01:20:18,040 I think he's got his... 1530 01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:20,020 His mind is on Avatar at the moment. 1531 01:20:20,860 --> 01:20:22,460 Thanks very much, Preston Peppermill. 1532 01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:24,560 Very, very kind of tip there. 1533 01:20:24,600 --> 01:20:30,480 I think Cameron has got his mind taken up with Avatar, the blue lads, the blue man group. 1534 01:20:31,220 --> 01:20:38,580 And I think if you stole that and transmorgified it into a Christian mass scenario, I'd be there. 1535 01:20:38,680 --> 01:20:44,680 I'd be there every day you were playing it just to be in the fucking middle of a real situation. 1536 01:20:44,680 --> 01:20:45,400 Do you know what I mean? 1537 01:20:45,620 --> 01:20:48,440 Other than that, welcome to the galaxy. 1538 01:20:48,620 --> 01:20:49,420 Thanks for tuning in. 1539 01:20:49,760 --> 01:20:53,320 Wake and snake, brew and stew, a great start to the day. 1540 01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:55,140 I'd love a cup of coffee right now. 1541 01:20:55,620 --> 01:20:58,080 Maybe we'll go for one in seven minutes when this is finished. 1542 01:20:58,180 --> 01:21:03,300 But seven minutes, stew time roughly translates probably into 20 minute snake time. 1543 01:21:03,560 --> 01:21:03,720 All right. 1544 01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:04,060 Identical. 1545 01:21:04,140 --> 01:21:04,280 All right. 1546 01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:05,040 So what are you going to do now? 1547 01:21:05,140 --> 01:21:06,660 Download two pages? 1548 01:21:06,860 --> 01:21:07,640 We'll hit two pages. 1549 01:21:07,780 --> 01:21:09,560 Well, let's say we go to the Boeing company. 1550 01:21:09,780 --> 01:21:10,000 Okay. 1551 01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:11,360 Because we've got a lot of pictures on the website. 1552 01:21:11,360 --> 01:21:12,160 Ready, get set, go. 1553 01:21:12,160 --> 01:21:13,260 And you just said launch it. 1554 01:21:13,480 --> 01:21:13,840 And we start. 1555 01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:16,100 Russ Abbott, thanks very much there, Russ Abbott. 1556 01:21:16,300 --> 01:21:19,100 And look at this quick web versus 28.8 modem. 1557 01:21:19,180 --> 01:21:24,940 We've got a real hypertext markup link race to the fucking bitter end here. 1558 01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:31,140 They're going to load up two HTML fucking pages and go, look, lads, run to the end. 1559 01:21:31,640 --> 01:21:32,680 And we'll see who's the winner. 1560 01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:35,320 Over here, we're looking at quick web, obviously. 1561 01:21:35,720 --> 01:21:40,840 Whoa, look at how fast those fucking applets, those Java applets are loading the images. 1562 01:21:41,740 --> 01:21:44,220 And you can see the bonus site has a lot of pictures. 1563 01:21:44,660 --> 01:21:45,100 And it's done. 1564 01:21:45,140 --> 01:21:45,700 That one's done. 1565 01:21:45,900 --> 01:21:46,700 And this one's still loading. 1566 01:21:46,820 --> 01:21:50,000 This is the way you'd normally see it on a 28.8 modem from your home. 1567 01:21:50,000 --> 01:21:50,320 Whoa. 1568 01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:54,300 And this site we picked because it has a lot of pictures you can see. 1569 01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:55,240 And that's what we do. 1570 01:21:55,260 --> 01:21:57,540 We speed up the pictures on the website, not all the words. 1571 01:21:57,640 --> 01:21:58,900 So if you hit a website, it was. 1572 01:21:59,900 --> 01:22:01,660 Anaconda Jeezy in the easy. 1573 01:22:02,120 --> 01:22:03,300 Avec das. 1574 01:22:04,020 --> 01:22:04,500 4. 1575 01:22:07,060 --> 01:22:07,460 30. 1576 01:22:08,220 --> 01:22:12,800 I'm trying to mix up the languages there of French and German. 1577 01:22:14,380 --> 01:22:14,900 4. 1578 01:22:15,140 --> 01:22:15,480 30. 1579 01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:16,000 4. 1580 01:22:16,260 --> 01:22:16,560 30. 1581 01:22:16,700 --> 01:22:18,340 Was that 42 or 420? 1582 01:22:18,400 --> 01:22:18,940 I'm not sure. 1583 01:22:22,440 --> 01:22:22,960 Anaconda Jeezy. 1584 01:22:22,980 --> 01:22:24,320 I don't have the fucking clip. 1585 01:22:24,320 --> 01:22:27,460 But I'll just try and robotize it there for a second. 1586 01:22:29,280 --> 01:22:30,320 Anaconda Jeezy. 1587 01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:37,600 Anaconda. 1588 01:22:38,560 --> 01:22:40,340 Thanks for the tape. 1589 01:22:43,220 --> 01:22:45,380 Not sure how that fucking worked out. 1590 01:22:45,380 --> 01:22:46,420 But look at the speed here. 1591 01:22:46,500 --> 01:22:53,520 You join us at a time where we're really having a big fast foot race between two websites. 1592 01:22:53,860 --> 01:22:56,500 One with Quick Web and 128.8 modem. 1593 01:22:56,500 --> 01:22:58,080 And if you can't see all words, you wouldn't see that much speed. 1594 01:22:58,080 --> 01:22:59,520 Now what modem speed are we at right now? 1595 01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:00,160 28.8. 1596 01:23:00,460 --> 01:23:00,680 All right. 1597 01:23:00,680 --> 01:23:02,040 Which is what most people on the internet are at. 1598 01:23:02,100 --> 01:23:02,620 28.8. 1599 01:23:02,800 --> 01:23:03,000 Gotcha. 1600 01:23:03,100 --> 01:23:06,360 Now am I suffering some degradation of the quality of these graphics? 1601 01:23:06,460 --> 01:23:08,200 It doesn't look quite as crisp as on the other side. 1602 01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:09,040 There we go. 1603 01:23:09,040 --> 01:23:12,220 And Stu's got a fucking keen eye for what is and what isn't. 1604 01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:20,280 He's noted here that even though this technology that your man's slinging at us, fast websites and the sort, there is a degradation in quality. 1605 01:23:20,500 --> 01:23:22,960 And we're going to get that from the fucking horse's mouth right now. 1606 01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:24,280 Rusty bullet hole bandit. 1607 01:23:24,340 --> 01:23:25,620 Thank you very much for the tip. 1608 01:23:25,640 --> 01:23:26,760 There's a little bit more fuzziness. 1609 01:23:27,460 --> 01:23:28,120 There we go. 1610 01:23:28,280 --> 01:23:28,760 We heard it. 1611 01:23:29,640 --> 01:23:31,080 ...of the quality of these graphics. 1612 01:23:31,180 --> 01:23:32,420 On the internet are at 28.8. 1613 01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:32,780 Gotcha. 1614 01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:36,140 Now am I suffering some degradation of the quality of these graphics? 1615 01:23:36,220 --> 01:23:37,980 It doesn't look quite as crisp as on the other side. 1616 01:23:37,980 --> 01:23:42,300 There's a little bit more fuzziness because we do squeeze out the bits and throw them in the bit bucket. 1617 01:23:42,760 --> 01:23:45,460 These lads at Intel are squeezing out the bits. 1618 01:23:45,460 --> 01:23:49,100 And you know that's fucking Preston telling you that because he's a real bit squeezer. 1619 01:23:49,180 --> 01:23:51,840 We've seen him do the fucking bit squeeze shuffle 10 minutes ago. 1620 01:23:51,920 --> 01:23:55,840 If you've just joined us, you've missed this guy Preston doing a fucking Nazi salute. 1621 01:23:57,160 --> 01:23:59,220 And he was doing a fucking pepper mill dance. 1622 01:23:59,300 --> 01:24:01,180 He was nearly doing the fucking Macarena. 1623 01:24:01,380 --> 01:24:09,040 You could put the Macarena to what he was doing if you were wanting to get a fucking right wing Macarena in to start your day. 1624 01:24:09,180 --> 01:24:10,320 But I'm not going back there again. 1625 01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:12,140 So there's a little bit of loss of resolution. 1626 01:24:12,380 --> 01:24:13,940 And depending on how finicky you are... 1627 01:24:13,940 --> 01:24:14,660 But generally who cares? 1628 01:24:15,160 --> 01:24:16,100 Most people can't see the difference. 1629 01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:19,780 Now can I control that and say, hey, in this particular graphic, I really want the resolution. 1630 01:24:19,900 --> 01:24:20,600 I don't want the speed. 1631 01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:24,660 Let's say you've hit 10 websites looking for the artwork you want from the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. 1632 01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:26,740 Once you find it, you can go up here. 1633 01:24:26,980 --> 01:24:27,360 This guy, yeah. 1634 01:24:27,480 --> 01:24:29,020 This is the man I was talking about. 1635 01:24:29,120 --> 01:24:31,460 Look at the way he's doing the Christ era again. 1636 01:24:31,720 --> 01:24:33,740 I'm a Windows kind of guy. 1637 01:24:33,780 --> 01:24:35,520 I'm an Intel processor kind of guy. 1638 01:24:35,660 --> 01:24:37,700 I'm Pat the processor, Preston the processor. 1639 01:24:38,320 --> 01:24:39,620 I'm going to show you the world. 1640 01:24:39,720 --> 01:24:40,980 I'm going to show you an expand. 1641 01:24:41,760 --> 01:24:42,360 I'm going to... 1642 01:24:42,360 --> 01:24:43,660 What else am I going to do with those hands? 1643 01:24:43,700 --> 01:24:44,600 I'm going to put something together. 1644 01:24:44,660 --> 01:24:45,600 I'm going to bring it back. 1645 01:24:45,760 --> 01:24:47,560 I'm going to fucking point over there. 1646 01:24:48,440 --> 01:24:52,960 I'm also going to tap this laptop button and show you something else here. 1647 01:24:53,060 --> 01:24:53,720 Look over here. 1648 01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:56,280 In the left-hand corner of the Quick Web one, you can see... 1649 01:24:56,280 --> 01:24:57,860 Got the Quick Web window. 1650 01:24:57,980 --> 01:24:59,100 This is called the Speed Selector. 1651 01:24:59,520 --> 01:25:01,620 Normally you run in high gear... 1652 01:25:01,620 --> 01:25:11,080 You've got a shit-hot mini window at the top left there just to really give you the fucking stat package on what you're rocking when you're fucking opening these Boeing websites. 1653 01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:12,000 Nine to four pays. 1654 01:25:12,100 --> 01:25:12,640 Thanks very much. 1655 01:25:12,740 --> 01:25:13,220 Quick speed. 1656 01:25:13,680 --> 01:25:14,140 Quick speed. 1657 01:25:14,140 --> 01:25:17,300 But let's say you find the site you want and you want to reload it in full resolution. 1658 01:25:17,520 --> 01:25:18,620 So you've already hit 10 sites. 1659 01:25:18,700 --> 01:25:21,240 You've found the artwork, Michelangelo's artwork from the Sistine Chapel. 1660 01:25:21,320 --> 01:25:21,500 Right. 1661 01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:25,440 You can hit normal speed and then you can hit the reload button. 1662 01:25:26,120 --> 01:25:26,480 Okay. 1663 01:25:26,540 --> 01:25:29,320 And say bring it back to me but don't give me the compression routine. 1664 01:25:29,540 --> 01:25:30,020 Don't squeeze it down. 1665 01:25:30,100 --> 01:25:34,480 Just give it to me in full resolution because we made a copy on the cache at Uriah's... 1666 01:25:34,480 --> 01:25:38,000 Great communicator. 1667 01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:41,640 If a little bit dodgy. 1668 01:25:41,820 --> 01:25:42,220 Yeah. 1669 01:25:42,320 --> 01:25:43,660 There's a copy stored in... 1670 01:25:43,660 --> 01:25:44,940 Let's say you're in San Francisco here. 1671 01:25:45,020 --> 01:25:46,600 It's stored on the local computer in San Francisco. 1672 01:25:46,740 --> 01:25:49,400 You don't have to go all the way across the country, across the Atlantic to Rome. 1673 01:25:49,680 --> 01:25:50,000 Boom. 1674 01:25:50,060 --> 01:25:50,560 It's right there. 1675 01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:51,780 So you can see this one... 1676 01:25:51,780 --> 01:25:52,980 He loves saying Rome. 1677 01:25:53,060 --> 01:25:57,800 He's got a fascination with Rome which was the original Empire Reich. 1678 01:25:57,800 --> 01:26:01,280 Do you know before the one that he was fucking alluded to with the Bosnich? 1679 01:26:02,180 --> 01:26:03,760 Even though it's the same resolution now. 1680 01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:04,000 All right. 1681 01:26:04,040 --> 01:26:05,940 Now let me ask you and how do I get this? 1682 01:26:06,020 --> 01:26:12,340 I simply go to my ISP and say, hey, I want to buy this extra service called Quick Web and I pay a monthly fee. 1683 01:26:12,420 --> 01:26:14,540 You pay a little bit more a month to get this kind of service. 1684 01:26:14,660 --> 01:26:16,180 It's sort of like call waiting or call right now. 1685 01:26:16,180 --> 01:26:17,180 I'll play it after. 1686 01:26:17,180 --> 01:26:18,180 I'll play it after. 1687 01:26:18,180 --> 01:26:19,720 I was going to play Case by a Seal again. 1688 01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:20,560 I'll just wait until the end. 1689 01:26:20,560 --> 01:26:21,840 ...channels or something like that. 1690 01:26:21,900 --> 01:26:22,720 And your ISP then... 1691 01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:23,500 No software. 1692 01:26:23,720 --> 01:26:25,100 It doesn't matter what processor I've got. 1693 01:26:25,100 --> 01:26:25,100 No software. 1694 01:26:25,140 --> 01:26:25,620 No hardware. 1695 01:26:25,780 --> 01:26:26,360 It runs on a Mac. 1696 01:26:26,420 --> 01:26:27,140 It runs on the Windows. 1697 01:26:27,820 --> 01:26:28,420 Whatever you want. 1698 01:26:28,540 --> 01:26:30,500 What does this do quickly to audio and video streaming? 1699 01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:31,580 Does it affect that in any way? 1700 01:26:31,580 --> 01:26:32,180 It doesn't affect it. 1701 01:26:32,260 --> 01:26:33,160 Not so far. 1702 01:26:33,240 --> 01:26:34,200 We're not speeding that up. 1703 01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:35,400 Right now we're just passing that through. 1704 01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:37,980 If we get enough feedback from the market, we could do something like that. 1705 01:26:37,980 --> 01:26:38,720 Intel's Quick Web. 1706 01:26:38,800 --> 01:26:39,300 Thank you very much. 1707 01:26:39,300 --> 01:26:39,640 Wait. 1708 01:26:39,840 --> 01:26:40,600 Really nice. 1709 01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:42,300 ...a look at how to create your own website. 1710 01:26:42,480 --> 01:26:45,540 Next up, another special preview look at Windows 98. 1711 01:26:45,740 --> 01:26:47,360 And I'll be back with my pick of the week. 1712 01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:53,020 Customizing your start menu is a great idea. 1713 01:26:53,140 --> 01:26:53,540 Sensual. 1714 01:26:54,400 --> 01:26:55,300 Fucking Mike Egan. 1715 01:26:57,560 --> 01:26:59,200 Customizing your start menu is a great idea. 1716 01:26:59,280 --> 01:27:00,260 Mike Elgin, sorry. 1717 01:27:01,180 --> 01:27:01,900 Elgin Ring. 1718 01:27:02,620 --> 01:27:04,240 Fucking Elgin Ring's after you. 1719 01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:05,120 Tonight. 1720 01:27:05,580 --> 01:27:06,540 Office 97. 1721 01:27:06,820 --> 01:27:08,300 It's got Java 1.1. 1722 01:27:08,780 --> 01:27:10,400 It's got a fucking VCR, is it? 1723 01:27:10,400 --> 01:27:12,980 You've got a fucking floppy disk. 1724 01:27:13,060 --> 01:27:14,740 3.5 inch floppy. 1725 01:27:15,020 --> 01:27:18,640 You've got a webcam there looking at us, filming us, watching him. 1726 01:27:19,940 --> 01:27:23,040 It's a real tech corner he's got here. 1727 01:27:23,180 --> 01:27:25,960 It's a lovely little man cave he's got going for himself here. 1728 01:27:26,060 --> 01:27:28,200 Unfortunately, in Windows 95, it's way too hard. 1729 01:27:28,640 --> 01:27:31,420 It's a lot easier in Windows 98 because it's all done with a drag and drop. 1730 01:27:31,840 --> 01:27:32,820 Let me show you how it's done. 1731 01:27:33,600 --> 01:27:35,220 I'm going to click on the start button here. 1732 01:27:35,580 --> 01:27:35,780 Wow. 1733 01:27:35,840 --> 01:27:37,100 Just go to the programs item. 1734 01:27:37,480 --> 01:27:37,740 Book. 1735 01:27:37,840 --> 01:27:39,140 And select Microsoft Word. 1736 01:27:39,440 --> 01:27:39,660 Wow. 1737 01:27:39,660 --> 01:27:45,440 I'm going to just drag and drop with the left mouse button and drag it up to the top of the start menu. 1738 01:27:45,760 --> 01:27:46,940 Drag and drop, baby. 1739 01:27:46,940 --> 01:27:48,740 And when I click on the start button, Word is always going to be there. 1740 01:27:49,280 --> 01:27:51,020 I can rearrange all these items as well. 1741 01:27:51,060 --> 01:27:53,860 I'm going to drag and drop Microsoft Excel here to the bottom. 1742 01:27:54,580 --> 01:27:55,120 Fucking Elgin. 1743 01:27:55,120 --> 01:27:57,340 Bring the MS-DOS prompt to the bottom as well. 1744 01:27:57,660 --> 01:27:58,580 I can do anything I like. 1745 01:27:58,900 --> 01:27:59,000 Jesus. 1746 01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:04,500 We would not have been able to imagine that this could have been possible back then, but it was possible. 1747 01:28:04,640 --> 01:28:08,020 And here was Elgin Ring delivering the good news. 1748 01:28:08,140 --> 01:28:09,700 Drag and drop to the desktop. 1749 01:28:10,900 --> 01:28:12,240 Here's Excel going to the desktop. 1750 01:28:12,400 --> 01:28:13,540 And now that's a real shortcut. 1751 01:28:14,140 --> 01:28:15,500 And of course, it works both ways. 1752 01:28:15,600 --> 01:28:18,640 I can put Microsoft Outlook right there on the start menu. 1753 01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:19,980 Real game changer. 1754 01:28:20,080 --> 01:28:20,780 Up here with Microsoft Word. 1755 01:28:21,220 --> 01:28:22,500 And here's a really neat trick. 1756 01:28:23,260 --> 01:28:25,340 You can drag and drop to the task bar. 1757 01:28:25,920 --> 01:28:30,920 It creates a miniaturized icon that you can click on in the future to launch the application that's there. 1758 01:28:30,960 --> 01:28:34,340 Wow, it's got a beautiful calculator app there as well. 1759 01:28:34,660 --> 01:28:37,460 That you can click on in the future to launch the application that's there. 1760 01:28:37,460 --> 01:28:37,920 Straight. 1761 01:28:38,040 --> 01:28:41,980 That's a quick launch fucking calculator that he had rigged up to his toolbar. 1762 01:28:42,640 --> 01:28:46,940 Ready to fucking explode with numbers and permutations, combinations. 1763 01:28:49,580 --> 01:28:50,920 Just goes to show, doesn't it? 1764 01:28:51,140 --> 01:28:54,140 Really goes to show what it is it shows? 1765 01:28:54,220 --> 01:28:55,640 I don't know where it goes to show it. 1766 01:28:57,800 --> 01:29:00,800 Waking up to some Fat 32 and real stuff. 1767 01:29:01,140 --> 01:29:02,980 Captain Sack, thanks very much. 1768 01:29:02,980 --> 01:29:07,960 Those are just a few of the ways that you can customize easily the start menu in Windows 98. 1769 01:29:08,480 --> 01:29:12,000 Now, you should note that this is also something you can do in Internet Explorer 4.0, 1770 01:29:12,080 --> 01:29:14,580 which is freely downloadable from the Microsoft site. 1771 01:29:15,160 --> 01:29:15,900 Back to you, Stuart. 1772 01:29:17,100 --> 01:29:20,440 Beautiful, beautiful end transition there straight into Sue. 1773 01:29:20,540 --> 01:29:21,340 No fucking around. 1774 01:29:21,480 --> 01:29:23,460 There was no graphics package necessary. 1775 01:29:23,540 --> 01:29:24,200 It was straight into Sue. 1776 01:29:24,400 --> 01:29:25,740 Chib, thank you very much. 1777 01:29:25,780 --> 01:29:27,600 Some interesting news has come to light here. 1778 01:29:27,680 --> 01:29:29,380 Chib, thanks very much for the tip, by the way. 1779 01:29:29,440 --> 01:29:29,940 Very kindly. 1780 01:29:30,300 --> 01:29:33,920 Chib has actually come to tell us the good news here. 1781 01:29:34,040 --> 01:29:35,400 Sharing the good news that is... 1782 01:29:35,400 --> 01:29:38,220 Not sure if this has come to light, but I found an unlisted video. 1783 01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:42,260 When I saw that unlisted video, I found one. 1784 01:29:42,540 --> 01:29:43,840 I started to get shitted up. 1785 01:29:44,340 --> 01:29:45,220 I thought, he's found... 1786 01:29:45,220 --> 01:29:47,980 I'm not sure if it's come to light, but I found an unlisted video. 1787 01:29:48,580 --> 01:29:51,360 I was like, what the fuck is the rest of this sentence going to be? 1788 01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:56,720 Is it of me doing the fucking Mark Bosnich at fucking 3 a.m. 1789 01:29:56,860 --> 01:29:59,180 in my underpants uptown when no one's looking? 1790 01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:01,120 Not that I do that. 1791 01:30:01,180 --> 01:30:02,000 But anyway, do you know what I mean? 1792 01:30:02,020 --> 01:30:05,600 I'm just kind of highlighting that there could be videos out there of me or something. 1793 01:30:05,880 --> 01:30:06,740 Even though there's tons. 1794 01:30:07,580 --> 01:30:12,360 Anyway, I read the rest of the sentence and was pleasantly surprised because he wrote... 1795 01:30:12,360 --> 01:30:17,040 Not sure if it's come to light, but I found an unlisted video of all Paul Schindler's game show appearances. 1796 01:30:18,240 --> 01:30:18,680 Dash. 1797 01:30:19,140 --> 01:30:20,860 Found it on his personal website. 1798 01:30:21,280 --> 01:30:23,200 Sorry if this is stale intel. 1799 01:30:23,360 --> 01:30:24,660 Well, I'll tell you something, Chib. 1800 01:30:24,980 --> 01:30:26,160 It's not stale. 1801 01:30:26,700 --> 01:30:28,640 It's a beautiful piece of information. 1802 01:30:28,640 --> 01:30:33,380 And I want to give you a round of applause for that piece of information, please. 1803 01:30:36,200 --> 01:30:36,680 Applause. 1804 01:30:38,040 --> 01:30:38,860 Applause, please. 1805 01:30:38,960 --> 01:30:39,900 We want an applause for that. 1806 01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:41,760 That's a laugh. 1807 01:30:41,900 --> 01:30:43,060 Sorry to laugh at you there. 1808 01:30:43,500 --> 01:30:44,740 That's some great news. 1809 01:30:44,840 --> 01:30:46,140 We didn't know that existed. 1810 01:30:46,340 --> 01:30:52,820 I had had links thrown at me regarding Paul Schindler's appearances on Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. 1811 01:30:53,080 --> 01:30:57,520 But I thought they were a text-based exercise in recounting the tale. 1812 01:30:58,320 --> 01:31:01,380 I assume this is a video, a documentary of sorts. 1813 01:31:01,660 --> 01:31:05,380 I will be very, very happy to check that out in due course. 1814 01:31:05,380 --> 01:31:08,000 which is freely downloadable from the Microsoft site. 1815 01:31:08,600 --> 01:31:09,320 Back to you, Stuart. 1816 01:31:09,940 --> 01:31:11,420 Now for my pick of the week. 1817 01:31:11,740 --> 01:31:18,160 Let's say you want to build your own personal website, but you don't want to spend the hundred bucks to go out and buy some web design software. 1818 01:31:18,600 --> 01:31:21,280 Well, I'm going to show you how to create your own website for nothing. 1819 01:31:21,280 --> 01:31:22,060 Web community. 1820 01:31:22,060 --> 01:31:24,160 Web service called Homestead. 1821 01:31:24,160 --> 01:31:29,920 This is a Java-based application that you can use for free to create and host your own website. 1822 01:31:30,260 --> 01:31:32,380 The URL is homestead.com. 1823 01:31:32,700 --> 01:31:33,580 Here's how it works. 1824 01:31:33,940 --> 01:31:41,360 Once you log on to Homestead, you see a page builder that lets you easily drag and drop various text, graphic, and interactive elements. 1825 01:31:41,740 --> 01:31:42,960 Beautiful. 1826 01:31:42,960 --> 01:31:43,140 The Homestead site is full. 1827 01:31:43,280 --> 01:31:43,680 Whizzywig. 1828 01:31:44,800 --> 01:31:46,460 Whizzywig is involved in it as well. 1829 01:31:46,960 --> 01:31:48,380 Stuart's home page. 1830 01:31:48,720 --> 01:31:53,640 Whizzywig is what you see is what you get, if I remember correctly. 1831 01:31:54,240 --> 01:31:56,360 A piece of software that is used for des... 1832 01:31:56,360 --> 01:31:58,700 Is it desktop publishing or was it for websites? 1833 01:31:58,920 --> 01:31:59,300 I'm not sure. 1834 01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:00,680 Wesites, I was going to say. 1835 01:32:00,900 --> 01:32:02,560 By Alani, by Wes. 1836 01:32:03,020 --> 01:32:04,660 Had his own Wesite back in the day. 1837 01:32:04,660 --> 01:32:06,420 Probably not, though. 1838 01:32:06,460 --> 01:32:09,580 Doesn't look like the man, kind of man, who would have had his own website. 1839 01:32:09,840 --> 01:32:14,000 I'm sure the record company had a website for him, but it didn't look like he was into HTML. 1840 01:32:14,260 --> 01:32:18,320 He was more into kind of African kind of biodome beats. 1841 01:32:19,340 --> 01:32:22,240 Baro soma que tu la che. 1842 01:32:22,720 --> 01:32:24,720 Real time, inside a browser. 1843 01:32:25,120 --> 01:32:27,000 It's easy to import images or animals. 1844 01:32:27,000 --> 01:32:27,880 Whoa, high res. 1845 01:32:29,140 --> 01:32:31,540 Fucking high res on that candy bar. 1846 01:32:31,540 --> 01:32:34,540 Check out the fucking bits on the candy bar. 1847 01:32:35,500 --> 01:32:38,760 What about that fucking pair of carrots down there? 1848 01:32:39,420 --> 01:32:41,500 Surely they'd come in handy for something. 1849 01:32:42,740 --> 01:32:44,240 Not to mention the beans. 1850 01:32:44,440 --> 01:32:48,860 Don't go blowing the beans and using that on every document, because I guarantee you'll want to. 1851 01:32:49,340 --> 01:32:52,660 Because look at how fucking gloriously rendered those beans are. 1852 01:32:54,980 --> 01:33:02,040 There's a whole host of beautiful images there that would really bring whatever the fucking shite is you're peddling to life. 1853 01:33:03,480 --> 01:33:05,020 Be it a slice of cake. 1854 01:33:05,020 --> 01:33:06,720 A burger. 1855 01:33:07,300 --> 01:33:08,660 A cappuccino. 1856 01:33:09,580 --> 01:33:10,980 A coffee grinder. 1857 01:33:11,640 --> 01:33:12,860 A coffee break. 1858 01:33:13,500 --> 01:33:17,460 I can really see myself utilising the three of these guys. 1859 01:33:17,460 --> 01:33:18,620 Or even the four. 1860 01:33:18,720 --> 01:33:18,860 Look. 1861 01:33:19,000 --> 01:33:19,740 A packet of coffee. 1862 01:33:20,200 --> 01:33:21,160 The coffee bean. 1863 01:33:21,920 --> 01:33:23,360 The coffee break icon. 1864 01:33:23,640 --> 01:33:25,280 And not to mention that coffee grinder. 1865 01:33:25,460 --> 01:33:26,020 What an absolute. 1866 01:33:26,160 --> 01:33:30,500 You'd have a field day writing an article about coffee with those guys. 1867 01:33:30,580 --> 01:33:32,720 In your arsenal. 1868 01:33:34,160 --> 01:33:37,860 Wait until these cunts see what I've got in my arsenal of clip art. 1869 01:33:38,180 --> 01:33:41,480 Have we got anything a bit dark and demonic for that kind of stuff there? 1870 01:33:42,960 --> 01:33:45,800 These assholes out there underestimate me. 1871 01:33:45,900 --> 01:33:48,340 And they think that my documents are going to be shit. 1872 01:33:49,020 --> 01:33:49,280 Yeah. 1873 01:33:49,920 --> 01:33:50,560 Well just with it. 1874 01:33:50,700 --> 01:33:51,560 This is me by the way. 1875 01:33:51,560 --> 01:33:53,040 Thank you very much for the tip there. 1876 01:33:53,180 --> 01:33:58,440 This is me back in 1998 working for a desktop publishing company or for a. 1877 01:33:58,640 --> 01:34:01,300 Just in an office and I've got a big presentation tomorrow. 1878 01:34:01,440 --> 01:34:02,840 And this is me at 3 a.m. 1879 01:34:03,160 --> 01:34:03,980 This is me at 4. 1880 01:34:04,200 --> 01:34:07,220 This is me at 5.30 a.m. in 1998. 1881 01:34:08,380 --> 01:34:11,080 And I've got the jump on the fuckers in the office. 1882 01:34:11,080 --> 01:34:11,700 Because I've got. 1883 01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:13,720 I've invested in some computer technology. 1884 01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:20,340 Those fucking assholes in the office. 1885 01:34:20,860 --> 01:34:24,400 They're not going to know what hit them tomorrow when they see my presentation. 1886 01:34:24,940 --> 01:34:28,180 I've got a whole host of beautiful fucking graphics. 1887 01:34:28,180 --> 01:34:35,080 fucking Jim in accounts with his stupid little smirk and his daft expressionless face when he. 1888 01:34:35,380 --> 01:34:37,940 He often so often derides me. 1889 01:34:38,840 --> 01:34:40,040 For by output. 1890 01:34:40,520 --> 01:34:40,720 Yeah. 1891 01:34:41,240 --> 01:34:43,620 He's going to have to go and do his own accounts mentally. 1892 01:34:44,000 --> 01:34:50,900 After he sees the coffee bean icon that I'm going to insert into my article about the fucking coffee machines we're going to be selling. 1893 01:34:55,700 --> 01:34:58,060 Wait until they get a load of my arse. 1894 01:34:58,060 --> 01:35:01,900 And wait. 1895 01:35:02,320 --> 01:35:04,600 Wait until they get a load of my arsenal. 1896 01:35:04,960 --> 01:35:09,580 Could be a patent pended quote that you could use in the future as well. 1897 01:35:09,660 --> 01:35:15,020 I'm not going to fucking come sue you if I see that crop up in something or other that you're making out there guys. 1898 01:35:15,520 --> 01:35:16,040 Gloppy Daesh. 1899 01:35:16,100 --> 01:35:17,220 Thanks very much for the tip. 1900 01:35:17,620 --> 01:35:19,120 Do you have a certificate of completion? 1901 01:35:19,300 --> 01:35:19,900 I don't. 1902 01:35:20,340 --> 01:35:21,720 The ECDL is it? 1903 01:35:22,680 --> 01:35:23,140 I don't. 1904 01:35:23,140 --> 01:35:25,300 I just have a standard driving license. 1905 01:35:25,840 --> 01:35:27,200 Not an ECDL. 1906 01:35:27,340 --> 01:35:32,800 I wonder how far you get if a guard stopped you on the road to check you're doing a fucking spot check. 1907 01:35:33,460 --> 01:35:35,320 And you whipped out an ECDL. 1908 01:35:35,920 --> 01:35:37,700 Just to really smite him. 1909 01:35:38,020 --> 01:35:39,180 Instead of the driving license. 1910 01:35:39,440 --> 01:35:40,560 It wouldn't get you far. 1911 01:35:41,420 --> 01:35:42,680 It would not get you far. 1912 01:35:43,300 --> 01:35:44,880 With its own clip art library. 1913 01:35:45,240 --> 01:35:48,300 You can do layering and even add complex elements like... 1914 01:35:48,300 --> 01:35:49,080 Fuck off. 1915 01:35:49,160 --> 01:35:49,720 No way. 1916 01:35:50,100 --> 01:35:51,880 ...scrolling banners and chat rooms. 1917 01:35:52,360 --> 01:35:53,060 One nice... 1918 01:35:53,060 --> 01:35:54,180 Chat topics. 1919 01:35:54,320 --> 01:35:55,640 ...feature of Homestead is... 1920 01:35:55,640 --> 01:35:58,020 I'm going to get told off because it's half nine now. 1921 01:35:58,080 --> 01:35:58,740 It's 10 a.m. 1922 01:35:59,060 --> 01:35:59,320 Do you know what? 1923 01:35:59,380 --> 01:36:00,100 I'm allowed... 1924 01:36:00,100 --> 01:36:03,640 I'm allowed to fucking say and do what I want in my own space, am I not? 1925 01:36:03,780 --> 01:36:04,940 Obviously not because... 1926 01:36:05,580 --> 01:36:07,380 As I said on this previous stream... 1927 01:36:07,380 --> 01:36:12,060 I stopped streaming during fucking daytime hours or business hours... 1928 01:36:12,060 --> 01:36:15,260 ...to pacify the business... 1929 01:36:15,260 --> 01:36:18,320 ...that has heard me making fucking rambunctious sounds... 1930 01:36:18,320 --> 01:36:19,840 ...and has complained to the landlord... 1931 01:36:19,840 --> 01:36:21,320 ...who didn't even have the stones... 1932 01:36:21,900 --> 01:36:22,820 ...to complain to me. 1933 01:36:23,420 --> 01:36:25,640 They got in touch with the fucking letting agent. 1934 01:36:25,980 --> 01:36:27,660 And the letting agent gave me an email. 1935 01:36:28,000 --> 01:36:30,320 Even though the letting agent told me... 1936 01:36:31,020 --> 01:36:32,940 ...in back in the way back when... 1937 01:36:32,940 --> 01:36:34,600 ...when I first fucking moved in... 1938 01:36:34,600 --> 01:36:36,380 ...that oh any problems now... 1939 01:36:36,380 --> 01:36:38,220 ...you're actually going to have to contact the landlord... 1940 01:36:38,220 --> 01:36:38,860 ...not me okay. 1941 01:36:39,340 --> 01:36:41,540 Well it's very funny how the landlord got in touch with me... 1942 01:36:41,540 --> 01:36:44,320 ...but I find it absolutely disgusting behaviour... 1943 01:36:45,240 --> 01:36:47,320 ...from the neighbours or whatever... 1944 01:36:47,840 --> 01:36:49,360 ...that they didn't even fucking... 1945 01:36:49,360 --> 01:36:51,180 ...think to face me... 1946 01:36:51,180 --> 01:36:52,280 ...face to face... 1947 01:36:52,280 --> 01:36:53,520 ...to tell me I was... 1948 01:36:53,520 --> 01:36:54,660 ...they didn't like the noise... 1949 01:36:54,660 --> 01:36:56,660 ...and they went through the strangled route. 1950 01:36:56,740 --> 01:36:58,820 It was like a past the book scenario. 1951 01:37:00,780 --> 01:37:01,460 Anyway... 1952 01:37:01,460 --> 01:37:04,060 ...I believe that I am in line for a bollocking... 1953 01:37:04,060 --> 01:37:04,840 ...if I carry on... 1954 01:37:04,840 --> 01:37:06,640 ...keep carrying on with the noise level... 1955 01:37:06,640 --> 01:37:08,060 ...that I have set the standard. 1956 01:37:08,240 --> 01:37:10,380 And why have I started this time you may ask? 1957 01:37:10,420 --> 01:37:12,520 Well I thought I'd start at fucking 8am... 1958 01:37:12,520 --> 01:37:14,580 ...because that's not going to ruffle any feathers... 1959 01:37:14,580 --> 01:37:16,100 ...but it's tipped over to 10 now... 1960 01:37:16,100 --> 01:37:19,940 ...and I could be in for a real fucking short sharp shock. 1961 01:37:20,320 --> 01:37:21,980 The wrong side of Christmas as well. 1962 01:37:21,980 --> 01:37:24,900 ...is that it takes advantage of being a web-based design... 1963 01:37:24,900 --> 01:37:26,540 ...not looking for any sympathy here. 1964 01:37:27,000 --> 01:37:28,640 ...by allowing several people... 1965 01:37:28,640 --> 01:37:30,600 ...just telling you how it is. 1966 01:37:30,800 --> 01:37:33,100 ...to collaborate in the design of a homepage... 1967 01:37:33,100 --> 01:37:36,220 ...so that say members of a family or an organization... 1968 01:37:36,220 --> 01:37:37,620 ...scattered across the country... 1969 01:37:37,620 --> 01:37:40,260 ...can all work together to create a group homepage. 1970 01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:43,020 Group homepage. 1971 01:37:44,040 --> 01:37:44,900 Group homepage. 1972 01:37:45,200 --> 01:37:47,040 You know the way I like to fucking repeat things? 1973 01:37:47,280 --> 01:37:47,920 Ad nauseum. 1974 01:37:48,360 --> 01:37:50,380 Yeah well that's not fucking pleasant to listen to... 1975 01:37:50,380 --> 01:37:52,640 ...if you live near or around me. 1976 01:37:52,800 --> 01:37:52,980 Okay? 1977 01:37:53,140 --> 01:37:56,140 And it's had a deep impact on my life. 1978 01:37:56,260 --> 01:37:58,420 ...organization scattered across the country... 1979 01:37:58,420 --> 01:38:01,100 ...can all work together to create a group homepage. 1980 01:38:01,420 --> 01:38:04,480 Another nice feature of web-based Java applications... 1981 01:38:04,480 --> 01:38:05,860 ...like Homestead is that you... 1982 01:38:05,860 --> 01:38:07,220 ...Homestead? 1983 01:38:07,240 --> 01:38:09,880 ...never have to worry about updating your software... 1984 01:38:09,880 --> 01:38:10,640 ...to the newest version. 1985 01:38:11,040 --> 01:38:13,080 Whenever you log on to Homestead.com... 1986 01:38:13,080 --> 01:38:15,780 ...you obviously automatically get the current release. 1987 01:38:16,180 --> 01:38:18,680 This is a very cool new way to use the web... 1988 01:38:18,680 --> 01:38:19,340 ...and the power of Java. 1989 01:38:19,340 --> 01:38:19,900 Very cool guys. 1990 01:38:19,920 --> 01:38:21,180 ...check it out if you're in the mood... 1991 01:38:21,180 --> 01:38:23,180 ...to finally launch your own website. 1992 01:38:23,800 --> 01:38:25,520 That's it for this edition of the Chronicles. 1993 01:38:25,580 --> 01:38:27,300 If you'd like any more information... 1994 01:38:27,300 --> 01:38:28,980 ...about anything you saw on the show... 1995 01:38:28,980 --> 01:38:30,540 ...please check out our website... 1996 01:38:30,540 --> 01:38:32,680 ...CMPTV.com. 1997 01:38:32,880 --> 01:38:33,780 Thanks for watching. 1998 01:38:33,920 --> 01:38:35,160 Hope we'll see you here next time. 1999 01:38:37,600 --> 01:38:39,980 Computer Chronicles is made possible in part... 2000 01:38:39,980 --> 01:38:41,820 ...by SoftSource Incorporated... 2001 01:38:41,820 --> 01:38:43,760 ...publishers of Pro One Software... 2002 01:38:43,760 --> 01:38:45,600 ...educational software for young adults... 2003 01:38:48,600 --> 01:38:50,920 ...and by Z Auctions... 2004 01:38:50,920 --> 01:38:53,000 ...the live online shopping experience. 2005 01:38:55,500 --> 01:38:56,780 ...additional funding from... 2006 01:38:56,780 --> 01:38:58,220 Why have they got a koala bear there? 2007 01:38:58,560 --> 01:39:00,880 ...the catalogue and online superstore... 2008 01:39:00,880 --> 01:39:01,960 ...with PC and Mac... 2009 01:39:01,960 --> 01:39:04,020 ...koala bear in the background look. 2010 01:39:04,100 --> 01:39:04,780 It's demonic. 2011 01:39:11,360 --> 01:39:12,640 Zig, thanks very much. 2012 01:39:13,060 --> 01:39:14,620 ...toll-free technical support... 2013 01:39:14,620 --> 01:39:15,440 ...and overnight delivery. 2014 01:39:16,640 --> 01:39:18,040 Thank you very much there, Zig. 2015 01:39:18,100 --> 01:39:19,140 Get an Mbappuccino. 2016 01:39:19,260 --> 01:39:19,900 I fucking will do. 2017 01:39:20,380 --> 01:39:21,720 Who would have thought that... 2018 01:39:21,720 --> 01:39:23,420 ...fucking scenario would have ended up... 2019 01:39:23,420 --> 01:39:24,380 ...the way they did there yesterday... 2020 01:39:24,380 --> 01:39:25,300 ...in the World Cup final. 2021 01:39:26,580 --> 01:39:28,780 A proper Mbappuccino... 2022 01:39:28,780 --> 01:39:29,920 ...delivery expressed... 2023 01:39:29,920 --> 01:39:30,980 ...by the end of the game... 2024 01:39:30,980 --> 01:39:32,760 ...and then a pure... 2025 01:39:32,760 --> 01:39:33,760 ...crucibalistic... 2026 01:39:33,760 --> 01:39:35,140 ...fucking messianic... 2027 01:39:35,140 --> 01:39:36,500 ...takedown... 2028 01:39:36,500 --> 01:39:38,100 ...of the French. 2029 01:39:39,940 --> 01:39:41,740 And then... 2030 01:39:41,740 --> 01:39:43,300 ...why did they put that robe... 2031 01:39:43,300 --> 01:39:44,340 ...on Messi at the end? 2032 01:39:44,360 --> 01:39:45,820 It looked like something from... 2033 01:39:45,820 --> 01:39:47,420 ...The Empire Strikes Back. 2034 01:39:48,300 --> 01:39:49,860 And then Gary Lineker... 2035 01:39:49,860 --> 01:39:50,740 ...said... 2036 01:39:50,740 --> 01:39:51,440 ...oh... 2037 01:39:51,440 --> 01:39:53,020 ...they shouldn't have put the gown on him. 2038 01:39:53,060 --> 01:39:53,500 It's rubbish. 2039 01:39:54,400 --> 01:39:55,720 And then people were saying... 2040 01:39:55,720 --> 01:39:56,920 ...ah, you're racist, man. 2041 01:39:57,500 --> 01:39:58,660 But at the end of the day... 2042 01:39:58,660 --> 01:40:01,040 ...it's Argentina have won the fucking cup. 2043 01:40:01,500 --> 01:40:03,340 Why are you putting a black robe... 2044 01:40:03,340 --> 01:40:04,740 ...over the jersey of Argentina? 2045 01:40:05,280 --> 01:40:07,140 At least they should have put a fucking... 2046 01:40:08,180 --> 01:40:08,660 ...what... 2047 01:40:08,660 --> 01:40:10,500 ...the headdress on Messi. 2048 01:40:10,620 --> 01:40:11,660 They shouldn't have put... 2049 01:40:11,660 --> 01:40:13,820 ...a black robe over the Argentina jersey. 2050 01:40:14,420 --> 01:40:16,260 It's not about being racist... 2051 01:40:16,260 --> 01:40:17,020 ...saying... 2052 01:40:17,020 --> 01:40:18,880 ...oh, I don't want to have the fucking... 2053 01:40:18,880 --> 01:40:20,380 ...Saudi Arabian Prince... 2054 01:40:20,380 --> 01:40:21,860 ...customary black gown. 2055 01:40:23,080 --> 01:40:24,560 It's normal enough to say... 2056 01:40:24,560 --> 01:40:26,280 ...I'd like to have the crest of the badge... 2057 01:40:26,280 --> 01:40:28,100 ...of the country that I represent... 2058 01:40:28,100 --> 01:40:30,220 ...who've just won the fucking World Cup, lads. 2059 01:40:30,820 --> 01:40:31,440 Do you know what I mean? 2060 01:40:32,920 --> 01:40:34,400 But then people were saying... 2061 01:40:34,400 --> 01:40:35,840 ...oh, you can't say that, man. 2062 01:40:35,920 --> 01:40:36,620 Because that's... 2063 01:40:36,620 --> 01:40:37,360 ...that's not right. 2064 01:40:37,400 --> 01:40:39,320 You're saying that he shouldn't have the customs... 2065 01:40:39,320 --> 01:40:40,160 ...of the fucking... 2066 01:40:40,160 --> 01:40:41,040 ...the lads out in Qatar. 2067 01:40:41,220 --> 01:40:42,400 Not that way at all. 2068 01:40:43,120 --> 01:40:43,640 Stick... 2069 01:40:43,640 --> 01:40:45,220 ...one of the headdresses on... 2070 01:40:45,220 --> 01:40:45,600 ...on him. 2071 01:40:45,940 --> 01:40:46,220 Okay? 2072 01:40:46,520 --> 01:40:47,760 Stick one of those on him. 2073 01:40:48,560 --> 01:40:49,620 That would have looked... 2074 01:40:49,620 --> 01:40:50,280 ...even better. 2075 01:40:50,380 --> 01:40:51,260 It would have looked funny. 2076 01:40:51,500 --> 01:40:52,700 It would have been hilarious... 2077 01:40:52,700 --> 01:40:53,660 ...to see... 2078 01:40:53,660 --> 01:40:54,780 ...Lio Messi... 2079 01:40:54,780 --> 01:40:55,880 ...winning the World Cup... 2080 01:40:55,880 --> 01:40:57,040 ...with one of those... 2081 01:40:57,040 --> 01:40:58,280 ...Qatari... 2082 01:40:58,280 --> 01:40:59,160 ...fucking white head... 2083 01:40:59,160 --> 01:41:00,700 ...with a black band on it. 2084 01:41:00,760 --> 01:41:01,900 It would have been... 2085 01:41:01,900 --> 01:41:02,560 ...hilarious. 2086 01:41:02,780 --> 01:41:03,340 Instead... 2087 01:41:03,340 --> 01:41:05,000 ...you covered up the jersey... 2088 01:41:05,000 --> 01:41:06,220 ...it wouldn't have covered the jersey... 2089 01:41:06,220 --> 01:41:06,700 ...if you'd have done that. 2090 01:41:06,780 --> 01:41:07,340 Instead... 2091 01:41:07,340 --> 01:41:08,640 ...you've got him wearing... 2092 01:41:08,640 --> 01:41:09,380 ...women's laundry. 2093 01:41:09,500 --> 01:41:10,160 It looks like he'd... 2094 01:41:10,160 --> 01:41:11,860 ...he'd gone to Victoria's Secrets. 2095 01:41:12,700 --> 01:41:14,160 It looked like his missus... 2096 01:41:14,160 --> 01:41:15,660 ...had gone to... 2097 01:41:15,660 --> 01:41:16,620 ...it looked like one of the... 2098 01:41:16,620 --> 01:41:18,140 ...Qatari owners of the fucking... 2099 01:41:18,140 --> 01:41:20,280 ...it looked like Giovanni Infantino... 2100 01:41:20,280 --> 01:41:21,760 ...on one of the Qatari lads... 2101 01:41:21,760 --> 01:41:22,960 ...had gone into... 2102 01:41:22,960 --> 01:41:24,200 ...Lio Messi's... 2103 01:41:24,200 --> 01:41:25,960 ...missus's fucking house... 2104 01:41:25,960 --> 01:41:28,700 ...while the World Cup was on... 2105 01:41:28,700 --> 01:41:30,740 ...had gone into her fucking... 2106 01:41:30,740 --> 01:41:31,740 ...lingerie... 2107 01:41:31,740 --> 01:41:33,740 ...and took... 2108 01:41:33,740 --> 01:41:34,780 ...a see-through... 2109 01:41:34,780 --> 01:41:35,920 ...negligé out... 2110 01:41:35,920 --> 01:41:36,700 ...and said... 2111 01:41:36,700 --> 01:41:38,380 ...we're gonna make the... 2112 01:41:38,380 --> 01:41:39,880 ...we're gonna make him wear this. 2113 01:41:44,880 --> 01:41:46,760 That's what I thought it looked like lads... 2114 01:41:46,760 --> 01:41:47,660 ...I don't know what I thought... 2115 01:41:47,660 --> 01:41:48,480 ...like two custom... 2116 01:41:48,480 --> 01:41:49,720 ...just a Qatari custom... 2117 01:41:49,720 --> 01:41:51,280 ...or something a little bit more sinister. 2118 01:41:51,660 --> 01:41:53,400 ...enterprise and internet... 2119 01:41:53,400 --> 01:41:54,400 ...computing news... 2120 01:41:54,400 --> 01:41:54,860 ...reviews... 2121 01:41:54,860 --> 01:41:55,780 ...thank you very much... 2122 01:41:55,780 --> 01:41:57,120 ...peaky stockhammer... 2123 01:41:57,120 --> 01:41:58,000 ...how-tos... 2124 01:41:58,000 --> 01:41:59,220 ...for a Windows world... 2125 01:41:59,220 --> 01:42:00,080 ...because the world... 2126 01:42:00,080 --> 01:42:01,400 ...my uncle does the same crack... 2127 01:42:01,400 --> 01:42:03,060 ...with repeating the same sentences... 2128 01:42:03,060 --> 01:42:04,560 ...or lyric over and over again... 2129 01:42:04,560 --> 01:42:06,160 ...his absolute favourite is... 2130 01:42:06,160 --> 01:42:07,720 ...come on Barbie... 2131 01:42:07,720 --> 01:42:09,120 ...let's go party... 2132 01:42:09,120 --> 01:42:10,260 ...love to hear Tom... 2133 01:42:10,260 --> 01:42:11,160 ...give him a shout out... 2134 01:42:11,160 --> 01:42:11,920 ...Tom, are you there Tom? 2135 01:42:13,520 --> 01:42:14,540 ...come on Barbie... 2136 01:42:14,540 --> 01:42:15,840 ...let's go party... 2137 01:42:15,840 --> 01:42:16,320 ...krrk... 2138 01:42:16,320 --> 01:42:16,880 ...krrk... 2139 01:42:16,880 --> 01:42:18,280 ...yeah, I don't think... 2140 01:42:18,280 --> 01:42:19,820 ...he was asking you to... 2141 01:42:19,820 --> 01:42:21,560 ...to say the line... 2142 01:42:21,560 --> 01:42:22,320 ...but a shout out... 2143 01:42:22,320 --> 01:42:23,320 ...yeah... 2144 01:42:23,960 --> 01:42:24,900 ...thanks very much... 2145 01:42:24,900 --> 01:42:25,540 ...for the tip there... 2146 01:42:25,540 --> 01:42:26,700 ...kiki stockhammer... 2147 01:42:26,700 --> 01:42:27,320 ...and... 2148 01:42:27,320 --> 01:42:28,520 ...hope you're getting out of it... 2149 01:42:28,520 --> 01:42:29,320 ...thank you... 2150 01:42:29,320 --> 01:42:31,320 ...runs on Windows... 2151 01:42:31,320 --> 01:42:36,320 ...to purchase a videotaped copy... 2152 01:42:36,320 --> 01:42:37,620 ...of today's program... 2153 01:42:37,620 --> 01:42:38,320 ...call toll-free... 2154 01:42:38,960 --> 01:42:40,320 ...1-888... 2155 01:42:40,320 --> 01:42:41,320 ...beautiful stuff... 2156 01:42:41,320 --> 01:42:43,320 ...310-7850... 2157 01:42:43,320 --> 01:42:44,500 ...2-4-10... 2158 01:42:44,500 --> 01:42:45,640 ...Charleston Road... 2159 01:42:45,640 --> 01:42:46,500 ...we've got an address... 2160 01:42:46,500 --> 01:42:47,400 ...that we've never actually... 2161 01:42:47,400 --> 01:42:48,400 ...snooped out there... 2162 01:42:48,400 --> 01:42:49,500 ...snoop doggy dog... 2163 01:42:50,640 --> 01:42:51,500 ...Google Maps... 2164 01:42:52,140 --> 01:42:53,340 ...let's get that address... 2165 01:42:53,340 --> 01:42:55,500 ...fucking piped into the maps... 2166 01:42:55,500 --> 01:42:58,220 ...what's that... 2167 01:42:58,220 --> 01:42:59,340 ...computer chronicles... 2168 01:42:59,340 --> 01:43:00,320 ...2-4-10... 2169 01:43:00,320 --> 01:43:01,640 ...Charleston Road... 2170 01:43:01,640 --> 01:43:02,620 ...2-4-10... 2171 01:43:02,620 --> 01:43:03,640 ...Charleston Road... 2172 01:43:03,640 --> 01:43:12,820 ...Mountain View... 2173 01:43:12,820 --> 01:43:13,820 ...California... 2174 01:43:13,820 --> 01:43:15,820 ...Mountain... 2175 01:43:15,820 --> 01:43:19,820 ...View... 2176 01:43:19,820 --> 01:43:21,820 ...California... 2177 01:43:21,820 --> 01:43:22,820 ...California... 2178 01:43:22,820 --> 01:43:25,100 ...we've got a zip code... 2179 01:43:25,100 --> 01:43:25,820 ...at the end of that beast... 2180 01:43:25,820 --> 01:43:28,720 94043 2181 01:43:28,720 --> 01:43:30,280 I'm going to get to you in a second 2182 01:43:30,280 --> 01:43:31,280 let me just remember this 2183 01:43:31,280 --> 01:43:33,120 94043 2184 01:43:33,120 --> 01:43:34,680 I forgot it 2185 01:43:34,680 --> 01:43:36,960 Milaj thank you very very much 2186 01:43:36,960 --> 01:43:42,900 let's keep the whistling down 2187 01:43:42,900 --> 01:43:45,200 I can hear voices downstairs now 2188 01:43:45,200 --> 01:43:46,680 but here's the other thing right 2189 01:43:46,680 --> 01:43:49,060 I can hear them 2190 01:43:49,060 --> 01:43:50,220 and I don't care 2191 01:43:50,220 --> 01:43:51,120 and sometimes 2192 01:43:51,120 --> 01:43:54,860 they'd be talking loud enough 2193 01:43:54,860 --> 01:43:55,780 and it'd be just like 2194 01:43:55,780 --> 01:43:57,320 deaf old shite 2195 01:43:57,320 --> 01:43:59,300 you know 2196 01:43:59,300 --> 01:44:01,900 just get a fucking 2197 01:44:01,900 --> 01:44:03,380 get a grip like 2198 01:44:03,380 --> 01:44:04,480 play a bit of music 2199 01:44:04,480 --> 01:44:06,900 they should be playing a bit of fucking music 2200 01:44:06,900 --> 01:44:07,900 down there or something 2201 01:44:07,900 --> 01:44:10,120 it's ridiculous 2202 01:44:10,120 --> 01:44:10,860 Kevin Kilban 2203 01:44:10,860 --> 01:44:12,860 thank you very very much for the tip there 2204 01:44:12,860 --> 01:44:14,280 and also Milaj as well 2205 01:44:14,280 --> 01:44:17,440 94043 2206 01:44:17,440 --> 01:44:19,520 94043 2207 01:44:19,520 --> 01:44:20,040 94043 2208 01:44:20,040 --> 01:44:22,360 do we have that there now? 2209 01:44:22,580 --> 01:44:23,000 yeah yeah 2210 01:44:23,000 --> 01:44:28,620 yeah 2211 01:44:28,620 --> 01:44:29,760 okay 2212 01:44:29,760 --> 01:44:30,980 let's have a look at that now 2213 01:44:30,980 --> 01:44:32,460 beautiful 2214 01:44:32,460 --> 01:44:40,400 so we're actually going to get a little glimpse here 2215 01:44:40,400 --> 01:44:41,500 into 2216 01:44:41,500 --> 01:44:43,040 where 2217 01:44:43,040 --> 01:44:44,580 computer chronicles 2218 01:44:44,580 --> 01:44:45,260 was 2219 01:44:45,260 --> 01:44:46,000 filmed 2220 01:44:46,000 --> 01:44:47,200 at the time 2221 01:44:47,200 --> 01:44:48,120 it was 2222 01:44:48,120 --> 01:44:49,020 made 2223 01:44:49,020 --> 01:44:50,280 around 98 2224 01:44:50,280 --> 01:44:53,620 and it's now a chipotle 2225 01:44:53,620 --> 01:44:56,460 it's now a chipotle 2226 01:44:56,460 --> 01:44:59,740 just imagined 2227 01:44:59,740 --> 01:45:02,060 that that's where 2228 01:45:02,060 --> 01:45:03,040 you can get a fucking 2229 01:45:03,040 --> 01:45:04,500 really bomb ass 2230 01:45:04,500 --> 01:45:05,480 carnitas 2231 01:45:05,480 --> 01:45:06,260 burrito 2232 01:45:06,260 --> 01:45:08,140 but back in the day 2233 01:45:08,140 --> 01:45:09,040 they were fucking making 2234 01:45:09,040 --> 01:45:10,400 different kind of tortillas 2235 01:45:10,400 --> 01:45:12,660 they were cramming the tortillas 2236 01:45:12,660 --> 01:45:13,260 full of fucking 2237 01:45:13,260 --> 01:45:14,000 processors 2238 01:45:14,000 --> 01:45:15,000 sound cards 2239 01:45:15,000 --> 01:45:15,940 sound blasters 2240 01:45:15,940 --> 01:45:17,960 WAV panels 2241 01:45:17,960 --> 01:45:20,440 the whole shibangle 2242 01:45:20,440 --> 01:45:23,360 get rid of that side panel there 2243 01:45:23,360 --> 01:45:25,860 let's try and take a little look around here 2244 01:45:25,860 --> 01:45:29,080 and see if we can come to terms with the situation at hand 2245 01:45:29,080 --> 01:45:32,840 I wonder if we've got that right 2246 01:45:32,840 --> 01:45:37,740 was that chipotle a fucking tv studio back in the day 2247 01:45:37,740 --> 01:45:39,940 these look like lots that could have been something 2248 01:45:39,940 --> 01:45:42,580 hawaiian barbecue 2249 01:45:42,580 --> 01:45:44,640 eric's deli 2250 01:45:44,640 --> 01:45:46,700 or 2251 01:45:46,700 --> 01:45:47,800 is this 2252 01:45:47,800 --> 01:45:49,540 what we're looking for over here 2253 01:45:49,540 --> 01:45:51,240 this looks more studioistic 2254 01:45:51,240 --> 01:45:51,960 stew 2255 01:45:51,960 --> 01:45:52,560 stew 2256 01:45:52,560 --> 01:45:53,360 chefayistic 2257 01:45:53,360 --> 01:45:55,400 that's more of a studio isn't it 2258 01:45:55,400 --> 01:45:56,100 look at that 2259 01:45:56,100 --> 01:45:58,180 you got the entrance there for the fucking 2260 01:45:58,180 --> 01:46:00,560 hardware goods and services entrance 2261 01:46:00,560 --> 01:46:02,720 you'd be wheeling in 2262 01:46:02,720 --> 01:46:04,180 loading in and loading out 2263 01:46:04,180 --> 01:46:05,980 tv productions 2264 01:46:05,980 --> 01:46:06,980 studio stuff 2265 01:46:06,980 --> 01:46:10,240 that's definitely the studio there 2266 01:46:10,240 --> 01:46:11,300 it's not the chipotle 2267 01:46:11,300 --> 01:46:11,840 we've 2268 01:46:11,840 --> 01:46:13,320 we've found it 2269 01:46:13,320 --> 01:46:15,960 we've found it 2270 01:46:15,960 --> 01:46:18,860 look at this 2271 01:46:18,860 --> 01:46:19,540 we get in there 2272 01:46:19,540 --> 01:46:20,060 lovely 2273 01:46:20,060 --> 01:46:21,100 love street view 2274 01:46:21,100 --> 01:46:23,100 spend a lot of time on street view 2275 01:46:23,100 --> 01:46:25,660 wasting time on street view 2276 01:46:25,660 --> 01:46:29,340 it's my favorite thing 2277 01:46:29,340 --> 01:46:29,900 on the 2278 01:46:29,900 --> 01:46:30,720 on the web 2279 01:46:30,720 --> 01:46:33,060 I'm 2280 01:46:33,060 --> 01:46:35,640 I'm not being hyperbolic 2281 01:46:35,640 --> 01:46:37,800 that I think it's my favorite thing on the web 2282 01:46:37,800 --> 01:46:39,780 and it's a 2283 01:46:39,780 --> 01:46:41,680 it's an absolute shame 2284 01:46:41,680 --> 01:46:42,860 that Germany 2285 01:46:42,860 --> 01:46:45,280 doesn't allow street view 2286 01:46:45,280 --> 01:46:49,800 but apparently you can circumvent that by using apple maps 2287 01:46:49,800 --> 01:46:53,840 uh but who wants to use apple maps you know 2288 01:46:53,840 --> 01:46:56,100 it's all about this 2289 01:46:56,100 --> 01:46:57,300 google app 2290 01:46:57,300 --> 01:47:00,860 I'm not trying to fucking blow smoke up google's hole 2291 01:47:00,860 --> 01:47:01,740 far from it 2292 01:47:01,740 --> 01:47:02,480 I 2293 01:47:02,480 --> 01:47:04,720 I'm very scared by uh 2294 01:47:04,720 --> 01:47:08,240 the omnipresent google fucking clutch 2295 01:47:08,240 --> 01:47:11,060 on our collective bollocks 2296 01:47:11,060 --> 01:47:12,840 but at the same time 2297 01:47:12,840 --> 01:47:16,020 they make a lot of good shit as well at the same time you know 2298 01:47:16,020 --> 01:47:17,540 and this is 2299 01:47:17,540 --> 01:47:18,540 they got in early 2300 01:47:18,540 --> 01:47:20,420 whoever had the brainwave to do this 2301 01:47:20,420 --> 01:47:21,580 google maps 2302 01:47:21,580 --> 01:47:26,880 whoever had the brainwave to do it 2303 01:47:26,880 --> 01:47:29,560 there could have been other companies that could have got in on this 2304 01:47:29,560 --> 01:47:31,700 but when google did google earth 2305 01:47:31,700 --> 01:47:33,020 and uh 2306 01:47:33,020 --> 01:47:35,580 google maps and all that kind of crack 2307 01:47:35,580 --> 01:47:39,200 they really got in there early and nice 2308 01:47:39,200 --> 01:47:39,880 look at this 2309 01:47:39,880 --> 01:47:41,660 it's not a fucking studio at all 2310 01:47:41,660 --> 01:47:43,160 it's a costco 2311 01:47:43,160 --> 01:47:46,960 unless it started off as a studio 2312 01:47:46,960 --> 01:47:47,740 and costco 2313 01:47:47,740 --> 01:47:49,040 bought it 2314 01:47:49,040 --> 01:47:51,440 and ported it from uh 2315 01:47:51,440 --> 01:47:53,760 computer chronicles into a supermarket 2316 01:47:53,760 --> 01:47:54,120 or 2317 01:47:54,120 --> 01:47:56,160 uh fucking what is it uh 2318 01:47:56,160 --> 01:47:58,660 what what is it costco 2319 01:47:58,660 --> 01:48:00,380 is it a supermarket or is it a fucking 2320 01:48:00,380 --> 01:48:02,020 heavy duty goods 2321 01:48:02,020 --> 01:48:04,000 scenario 2322 01:48:04,000 --> 01:48:05,500 it's a 2323 01:48:05,500 --> 01:48:06,800 what what you call that stuff 2324 01:48:06,800 --> 01:48:08,460 what you call 2325 01:48:08,460 --> 01:48:09,560 costco 2326 01:48:09,560 --> 01:48:15,940 board 2327 01:48:15,940 --> 01:48:16,600 board 2328 01:48:16,600 --> 01:48:17,620 license plate 2329 01:48:17,620 --> 01:48:22,400 i'm losing my mind 2330 01:48:22,400 --> 01:48:23,300 i can't remember what the 2331 01:48:23,300 --> 01:48:24,080 cash and carry 2332 01:48:24,080 --> 01:48:24,860 fucking hell 2333 01:48:24,860 --> 01:48:27,400 but they don't call it cash and carry in states 2334 01:48:27,400 --> 01:48:28,000 they call it 2335 01:48:28,000 --> 01:48:29,040 wholesale 2336 01:48:29,040 --> 01:48:29,960 that's it 2337 01:48:29,960 --> 01:48:31,740 mr grift yo gaff 2338 01:48:31,740 --> 01:48:32,720 thank you very much 2339 01:48:32,720 --> 01:48:36,320 yeah 2340 01:48:36,320 --> 01:48:41,900 i think costco was originally the studios for stewardship phase computer chronicles 2341 01:48:47,900 --> 01:48:50,540 we're looking at this chipotle here 2342 01:48:50,540 --> 01:48:55,540 doesn't look like it could have been 2343 01:48:55,540 --> 01:48:58,140 what about this building over here 2344 01:48:58,140 --> 01:48:59,940 it's got a few offices upstairs 2345 01:48:59,940 --> 01:49:00,500 hey 2346 01:49:00,500 --> 01:49:03,760 hey 2347 01:49:03,760 --> 01:49:05,860 max hour 2348 01:49:05,860 --> 01:49:09,280 got a blur on it 2349 01:49:09,280 --> 01:49:12,940 max hour building 48 2350 01:49:12,940 --> 01:49:22,800 whether it is or it isn't is irrelevant at this stage in time we have 2351 01:49:22,800 --> 01:49:30,740 found the the you know approximate area of where this uh please special production took place 2352 01:49:30,740 --> 01:49:41,580 We saw that one last week 2353 01:49:41,580 --> 01:49:42,720 Wasn't as good 2354 01:49:42,720 --> 01:49:44,780 Wasn't as good as I thought it would be 2355 01:49:44,780 --> 01:49:52,440 Video brush 2356 01:49:52,440 --> 01:50:00,580 Come on 2357 01:50:00,580 --> 01:50:02,720 Look at how one NBC TV affiliate 2358 01:50:02,720 --> 01:50:05,140 Is moving to digital desktop video 2359 01:50:05,140 --> 01:50:07,020 And how you can create your own 2360 01:50:07,020 --> 01:50:08,100 Dancing baby 2361 01:50:08,100 --> 01:50:09,780 Also my pick of the week 2362 01:50:09,780 --> 01:50:11,460 It's all coming up next week 2363 01:50:11,460 --> 01:50:12,880 On the Computer Chronicles 2364 01:50:12,880 --> 01:50:14,740 I wonder did Shafay 2365 01:50:14,740 --> 01:50:17,800 Film all these in a day 2366 01:50:17,800 --> 01:50:18,660 Did he do a few of them 2367 01:50:18,660 --> 01:50:20,460 It seems a bit fucking wasteful 2368 01:50:20,460 --> 01:50:21,820 Just to film one of them on a day 2369 01:50:21,820 --> 01:50:25,520 Did he just go and change clothes after this 2370 01:50:25,520 --> 01:50:26,760 And then film the next episode 2371 01:50:26,760 --> 01:50:27,900 Not sure 2372 01:50:27,900 --> 01:50:30,420 Just want to play the tune 2373 01:50:30,420 --> 01:50:32,400 Kiss from a seal by a rose 2374 01:50:32,400 --> 01:50:35,420 And I'm going to put an effect on it 2375 01:50:35,420 --> 01:50:37,080 So we've got a bit of echo as well 2376 01:50:37,080 --> 01:50:41,040 And maybe we'll put a picture of seal's face on screen 2377 01:50:41,040 --> 01:50:45,380 Seal from a rose 2378 01:50:45,380 --> 01:50:55,080 And interestingly enough now it was the fucking theme tune to Batman Forever 2379 01:50:55,080 --> 01:50:59,000 Which was the decline in the Batman franchise 2380 01:50:59,000 --> 01:51:00,780 Maybe it started with Returns 2381 01:51:00,780 --> 01:51:02,280 I don't think Returns was that bad 2382 01:51:02,280 --> 01:51:05,160 Forever started to go downhill 2383 01:51:05,160 --> 01:51:05,920 Val Kilmer 2384 01:51:05,920 --> 01:51:07,380 Jim Carrey 2385 01:51:07,380 --> 01:51:10,180 And then obviously Batman and Robin after that 2386 01:51:10,180 --> 01:51:11,820 Had fucking Mr. Freeze 2387 01:51:11,820 --> 01:51:13,480 Arnold Schwarzenegger in it 2388 01:51:13,480 --> 01:51:15,580 Absolutely terrible stuff altogether 2389 01:51:15,580 --> 01:51:22,900 But I was just thought I'd try and sing it in a new language earlier on 2390 01:51:22,900 --> 01:51:25,280 And you might have missed it when I played this earlier on 2391 01:51:25,280 --> 01:51:26,140 So here we go again 2392 01:51:26,140 --> 01:51:26,160 So here we go again 2393 01:51:26,160 --> 01:51:56,140 Thank you. 2394 01:51:56,140 --> 01:52:26,120 Thank you. 2395 01:52:26,120 --> 01:52:28,120 Thank you. 2396 01:52:28,120 --> 01:52:30,120 Thank you. 2397 01:52:30,120 --> 01:52:32,120 Thank you. 2398 01:52:32,120 --> 01:52:34,120 Thank you. 2399 01:52:34,120 --> 01:52:35,800 There we go. 2400 01:52:36,840 --> 01:52:37,760 Haunting stuff. 2401 01:52:38,500 --> 01:52:40,820 Somebody says there, Higgy Smalls says haunting. 2402 01:52:41,740 --> 01:52:45,280 I'm going to get a cup of coffee now and I'll try and get back on. 2403 01:52:45,680 --> 01:52:46,260 What was I going to say? 2404 01:52:46,300 --> 01:52:50,500 I had a massive bowl of porridge with fucking blueberries, strawberries and bananas. 2405 01:52:50,660 --> 01:52:51,920 It's been a little 10 past six. 2406 01:52:52,920 --> 01:53:00,360 And I sang that there on my own in the room with no lights on at around, I'd say, quarter to eight. 2407 01:53:00,700 --> 01:53:02,140 And then I thought, you know what? 2408 01:53:02,580 --> 01:53:04,920 Let's stick on some HTML Computer Chronicles. 2409 01:53:05,680 --> 01:53:08,520 And then when I was watching that, I thought, let's get on stream. 2410 01:53:09,080 --> 01:53:14,520 And that really has been a great morning stream for me because I've managed to get that out there. 2411 01:53:14,600 --> 01:53:15,660 That's in the public conscience. 2412 01:53:15,860 --> 01:53:18,240 And I've got the fucking Computer Chronicles as well. 2413 01:53:18,580 --> 01:53:21,060 So I'm just going to end this one now. 2414 01:53:21,120 --> 01:53:23,840 But with a mindset to try and get back as well. 2415 01:53:23,920 --> 01:53:24,260 Tom. 2416 01:53:25,000 --> 01:53:31,980 Yeah, it would be great to get back onto something, possibly even maybe Hitman or something else at least. 2417 01:53:32,140 --> 01:53:33,580 You know, don't waste the energy. 2418 01:53:33,760 --> 01:53:35,100 The day has started strong. 2419 01:53:35,640 --> 01:53:37,620 Keep the fucking day rolling. 2420 01:53:37,760 --> 01:53:38,740 That's all I got to say. 2421 01:53:39,960 --> 01:53:41,060 That's all I got to say as well. 2422 01:53:41,300 --> 01:53:42,680 Thanks very much anyway for tuning in. 2423 01:53:42,700 --> 01:53:43,620 So far, so good. 2424 01:53:43,700 --> 01:53:44,480 We'll talk to you in a bit. 2425 01:53:45,020 --> 01:53:48,120 And best of luck to you guys there. 2426 01:53:48,120 --> 01:53:52,740 Let's play those Chronicle-lization theme tunes once more again, just for the outro there. 2427 01:53:52,740 --> 01:53:57,180 We'll see you later, guys. 2428 01:53:57,380 --> 01:53:57,700 Bye-bye. 2429 01:53:57,700 --> 01:54:06,740 Bye-bye.