1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:25,000 *Sings* We got out of the Gulag! It was very lucky we got out of the Gulag! By a man named Chucky we got out of the Gulag! 2 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:48,000 *Sings* No effect on target! On that you're gonna have to try a bit better! Pump out the stout! Pump out the landmines! 3 00:00:48,000 --> 00:01:17,000 *Sings* Merry Schlugmas to all! Peace on Earth to all men! *Sings* I'm feeling good we got the Fennec! There's a guy over there! 4 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:26,000 He must have gone upstairs he must be on top of that building over there! He might be over there! We just need to wait and see! 5 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:47,680 to wait and see. He's here. Right underneath. Father Fenix in town. 6 00:01:47,680 --> 00:02:10,760 Lovely bit of fennec. It was sweet. Very sweet. 7 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:40,740 Miss? Missile again? Give him a bit of a bit. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. 8 00:02:40,740 --> 00:03:10,720 I'm going to go. You're coming throughout my line, Tam. I don't know how that happens, to be honest. It's bizarre how it can hear me clearly. You'd think it's actually impossible. 9 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:20,840 Thank you very much there, Mama Duck. Just wait for this cowboy to come around here. Now he's going to get scared. 10 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:49,900 This fucking winter warmer buzz there. I gave him a bit of heat. That'll throw a little bit of heat into the cold snap for him around Christmas time. 11 00:03:53,900 --> 00:04:10,380 This Christmas. This Christmas. Give the gift of heat. Thank you very much. Thank you very, very much, enemy downed. 12 00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:27,540 Father Fennec. Father Fennec. Giving out the last rites again. It's a beautiful priest. Champion Rhubarb and Robbie. Thank you very much. 13 00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:42,160 One for the money. Two for the show. Three for your mummy. Four for the gnoll. Five for... Six... Six for ten. 14 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:54,820 Bad job. He might still be up there. Pissing around. 15 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,540 That's... That's not him. That's a speck of dirt on top of the building. 16 00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:33,520 Let's go. 17 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:41,380 It was a souped-up Vajnev there, but it's Father Fennec all the way here. 18 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:47,140 Let's get inside this Nissan Sunny and really take control of the map in the Sunny. 19 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,800 Sunny side up. 20 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:54,380 And I think it's a case of looking towards Observatory. 21 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:55,620 Get up there. 22 00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:58,620 Stay around the edge of the fucking circle. 23 00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:02,020 Take out any bougie boys that are up there, maybe. 24 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:05,840 It's a great strategy. I love that strategy. 25 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,300 I love the height that you get on it, the elevation. 26 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:15,880 The birds I view with the situation of the scenario is what is necessary now. 27 00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:19,340 And you're flying by the seat of your house. 28 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:30,900 I'm just nipping down the shop to buy an assault rifle and some stem takes. 29 00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:32,480 Do you need milk? 30 00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:38,420 Thanks very much. 31 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,920 Scumbelina. Now there could be bad boys up here. 32 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,660 A few scumbelinas around here. 33 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,920 Let's go and see. Let's play games with these guys. 34 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:56,940 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 35 00:06:58,020 --> 00:06:58,420 Oh. 36 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,360 Don't stop until you feel the burn. 37 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,600 And when you feel the burn, keep starting. 38 00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:07,120 Don't stop until you feel the burn. 39 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,320 And when you feel the burn, keep starting, man. 40 00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:12,280 There's another fucking starter down there. 41 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:14,800 Starters and alternators. 42 00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,260 That's what we call this game. 43 00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:17,960 All you need is fennec. 44 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:24,240 The dream really would be to have a fennec that has a laser scope on it. 45 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,240 COVID-19. 46 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,300 Loadout drophead is your way. 47 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,020 Steve Jenin, thank you very much. 48 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:38,240 I have a mortar ready to fucking rock as well. 49 00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:49,220 The dream now would be to have a fennec that has a liquid foldable stock on it for ease of use, mobility. 50 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,620 A nasty barrel. 51 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,360 A 45 round drum. 52 00:07:56,740 --> 00:08:00,720 And a fucking built-in silencer so you don't even have to put the silencer on as an attachment. 53 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:01,440 That'd be nice. 54 00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:09,140 I think actually you should actually replace the laser on the fennec. 55 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,820 With a fucking Denny gold medal sausage. 56 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:18,520 And poke a hole through the middle of the sausage so you can just see right through it. 57 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:26,080 Sounds legitimately not that practical, Tom. 58 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,040 Hear me out. 59 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,060 Hear me out. 60 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,480 I'm hearing. 61 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:34,880 Close. 62 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:44,920 When you're looking through meat, when you're looking through the meat hole, that's when you're really in the zone. 63 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:52,240 And that's a quote you can live or die by. I don't care. 64 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,240 I don't care. 65 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,240 Moving here. 66 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,240 Pokies is closed. 67 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:19,240 Lads, I'll get through the tips in a second. Just need to really concentrate here. 68 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,240 I don't care. 69 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,240 Grapp assist, I don't know what that is. 70 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,240 Pokies is closed. 71 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,240 *Mumbling* 72 00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:52,860 This seems to be me. 73 00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:56,860 Around here anyway. 74 00:09:59,380 --> 00:09:59,880 Fuck. 75 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,880 *Mumbling* 76 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:07,840 This is where we get killed now by someone who's just... 77 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,160 ...laying in wait inside the house here. 78 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,560 The usual crack. 79 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,080 The usual bit of business. 80 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,080 *Breathes* 81 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:45,960 Lovely bit of parachutin straight into the water, underwater, getting the swimmin', getting the under, underwater breaststroke goin'. 82 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:46,960 *Breathes* Keep start. 83 00:10:46,960 --> 00:11:09,960 *Breathes* Faliath, thanks for the tip. Giller, Rathkeel. Close that door. Check your side hatches. Ante, thank you very much, Schult. Thank you very much. 84 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,960 Watch. 85 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,960 Gas is closing. Get to the new safe zone. 86 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:43,940 I'm going to go. 87 00:11:43,940 --> 00:12:13,920 I'm going to go. 88 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:37,300 A bit of a diversionary tactic there. Oh, lovely. Lovely. Lovely bit of radar. Lovely bit of redox. Oh, that is nice. That is like taking a fucking redox. 89 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:54,680 A redox-laden shower bath. And there's a couple of fucking red dots available out here. We might even just find a nice place in the sand to do a bit of lying down snake tactics. 90 00:12:54,680 --> 00:13:22,740 A couple of lemon pies over there in that campsite. Here we are. A couple of dodgy boys. One dodgy boy by the car. A couple of lemon cakes over by the campsite. 91 00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:30,200 And a whole rake of shams over by the oil rig. So, it's, uh, it's down to you, really. 92 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:49,840 Yeah, I'm happy to just wait this one out for a little moment or two here. Just see how this situation over there plays out. 93 00:13:54,260 --> 00:14:05,400 I say we go over there is where we're probably going to end up. We don't want to, uh, fucking lose our, lose our head running across open sand. The sand dunes of time. 94 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:28,860 Maybe we could just jump off here, though. Fuck. Oh, fuck. No parachute. 95 00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:34,920 Oh, no, what was the thinking behind that there? There was zero thought going into that. You... 96 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,860 Now you're fucking... 97 00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:40,920 Trapped between a rock and a hard place. 98 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:42,820 Very open here. 99 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,920 It'd be well to get over this dune to the right, that's it. 100 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,420 Get over there. 101 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,220 Use the dunes. 102 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,460 You've got gas in, though. Safe zone relocated. 103 00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:56,460 Over by the car now, I'd say. 104 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:12,220 COVID-19. 105 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:12,580 COVID-19. 106 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,660 HydroCal, thank you very much. 107 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,560 Jackie, thank you very much. 108 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:23,480 Follier. 109 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:24,760 Anti. 110 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:25,760 Schulte. 111 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:26,920 Captain Sack. 112 00:15:27,180 --> 00:15:27,840 Steve Jennings. 113 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:28,780 Brooklyn Luki. 114 00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:29,820 Schcomberlina. 115 00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:32,620 I think I've... 116 00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,720 I think that's enough. 117 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,080 I think I've, uh... 118 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,460 I've, uh... 119 00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:39,080 managed to... 120 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,260 see everybody there. 121 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:43,920 But if not, I'll get you... 122 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,240 I'll get you in the interim. 123 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,080 Yeah. 124 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,080 Yeah. 125 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,080 Yeah. 126 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,280 Yeah. 127 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,140 Francis. 128 00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:51,120 The gas is coming. 129 00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:53,980 Yeah. 130 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,340 Just waiting for this, uh... 131 00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:57,460 This guy to get in the car. 132 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,700 I know it's boring gameplay. 133 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,600 It's just a bit of a warm-up scenario, you know? 134 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,800 I just want to... 135 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,100 He's getting into this car. 136 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:04,300 Look. 137 00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:07,320 Fuck it. 138 00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:09,300 Waste of time. 139 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,060 We didn't really want to go too far ahead of the gas anyway, you know? 140 00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,140 So it was more of a kind of a... 141 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,800 Just waiting till the gas starts to come in kind of a buzz. 142 00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:21,660 Yeah. 143 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:23,240 Totally. 144 00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:24,000 Totally, yeah. 145 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,080 Oh, completely, yeah. 146 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:27,500 Yeah. 147 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:30,320 Definitely. 148 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:32,260 Definitely. 149 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,300 Definitely, yeah. 150 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,060 Thank you very much. 151 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,080 We... 152 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:00,340 We... 153 00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:02,380 This is a dangerous area here. 154 00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:04,440 There's always snakes around here waiting. 155 00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:09,980 That's a... 156 00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:10,280 AI. 157 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:19,720 Here we go. 158 00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:21,820 UAV. 159 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,520 What was that noise then? 160 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:43,820 I think, uh... 161 00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,500 When we... 162 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,660 When we press the... 163 00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:48,260 When we, uh, change... 164 00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,520 When we go to your fucking phone... 165 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,020 UAV is being refueled. 166 00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:53,060 RTV is inside. 167 00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:57,400 It's right next to the funky music button. 168 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,940 Why would you need a button to press the... 169 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:08,000 For me to talk? 170 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,520 Surely, surely when I talk I just come through. 171 00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:11,980 There shouldn't have to be a button. 172 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:12,840 It has to be pressure. 173 00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:14,420 It's not as... 174 00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,000 It's not as though I am... 175 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:21,480 It's not as if you're changing the... 176 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:21,480 It's not as if you're changing the... 177 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,480 It's not as if you're changing the... 178 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,480 The sound in order to... 179 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,780 For me to talk or something. 180 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,260 I know it's a... 181 00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:30,980 It's a strange one. 182 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,180 And there's a guy around this corner here. 183 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,360 And when you feel the burn... 184 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:35,760 And when you feel the burn... 185 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:36,420 Keep starting. 186 00:18:42,260 --> 00:18:42,960 He's gone. 187 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,060 He's ninja... 188 00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:45,360 He's ninja'd his way... 189 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,340 Away from us, Tam. 190 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,800 He has fucking ninja'd his... 191 00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:55,740 Get inside here. 192 00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:56,200 Be safe. 193 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:56,700 How's this? 194 00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,480 It's fucking dangerous. 195 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,580 It's fucking dangerous in here. 196 00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:14,200 Smokey Joe Lula. 197 00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:17,760 Smokey Joe Frazer. 198 00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:25,940 Yeah, you have to... 199 00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:31,540 You have to get thanks and praise... 200 00:19:31,540 --> 00:19:32,180 To the fennec. 201 00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:38,940 It's a lovely piece of kit. 202 00:19:57,940 --> 00:19:59,040 Let that fucking... 203 00:19:59,040 --> 00:19:59,700 A nice... 204 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,500 Assault rifle M4 as well... 205 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,940 On top of that situation. 206 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,440 But it's the fennec... 207 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,580 That I'll keep in the hand. 208 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,280 It's the fennec... 209 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,380 That I'll keep in the claw. 210 00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:10,380 The fennec that'll do the damage... 211 00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,020 When the time comes to do damage. 212 00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:13,480 The fennec that's there... 213 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:14,240 It's got your back... 214 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:14,620 When you need... 215 00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:15,620 When the chips are down. 216 00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:18,360 And the gas is fucking pumping in. 217 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,380 No better man... 218 00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:21,260 Than fucking fennec. 219 00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:36,180 Here we go. 220 00:20:36,180 --> 00:20:38,180 *BOOM* 221 00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,180 *Sigh* 222 00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:42,180 *Sigh* 223 00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:42,680 *Sigh* 224 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,680 We are fine. Let's get it done. 225 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,880 Jazz is moving in. New safe zone located. 226 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,880 *Sigh* 227 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:54,380 *Sigh* 228 00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:06,380 Moving! 229 00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,380 *Sigh* 230 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,880 Gonna be nice now to get up on here. 231 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,380 Get the high ground on these fucking shenanigans. 232 00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:19,380 Shenanigiezers. 233 00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:22,880 Bit of rage with the M4. 234 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:27,880 *Sigh* 235 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,880 Concha's down there somewhere. 236 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:30,880 *Sigh* 237 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:31,880 *Sigh* 238 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:32,880 *Sigh* 239 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,880 Oh fuck, there's someone inside this building as well. 240 00:21:35,880 --> 00:22:04,760 Where is it? Oh no your man you should have got for your man first. Nooo! Fennec! Fennec! 241 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:34,740 What the fuck is this? Beat up my min week! Who did this? Fennec. Fennec? Yeah, he turned down your offer. Fucker. Fucker. You're coming through all my line of fence. Fucker. 242 00:22:34,740 --> 00:22:52,740 Absolute fucker. Sorry about the language there about that now it's just... This cunt could do it look. Dynasties is come back from the dead. Go on! Shoot! Shoot! Ah! 243 00:22:52,740 --> 00:22:54,740 *Sigh* 244 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,740 *Sigh* 245 00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:00,740 *Sigh* 246 00:23:01,740 --> 00:23:02,740 *Sigh* 247 00:23:02,740 --> 00:23:03,740 *Sigh* 248 00:23:07,740 --> 00:23:08,740 Fuckers. 249 00:23:08,740 --> 00:23:09,740 Fuckers! 250 00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,740 You win some, you lose some. 251 00:23:15,740 --> 00:23:19,740 And in this case, you will and truly fucking last some. 252 00:23:20,740 --> 00:23:21,740 Big time. 253 00:23:21,740 --> 00:23:23,740 *Sigh* 254 00:23:23,740 --> 00:23:24,740 *Sigh* 255 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:29,740 *Sigh* 256 00:23:30,740 --> 00:23:31,740 You okay, Francis? 257 00:23:31,740 --> 00:23:35,740 Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Just, you know. 258 00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:38,740 Bit of a fucking doozy. 259 00:23:39,740 --> 00:23:40,740 Bit- 260 00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:43,740 Bit of a Christmas doozy. 261 00:23:44,740 --> 00:23:47,740 Not even Christmas, but it's a Christmas doozer. 262 00:23:47,740 --> 00:23:49,740 It's a real fucking schnoozer. 263 00:23:53,740 --> 00:23:54,740 It's a real fucking schnoozer. 264 00:23:58,740 --> 00:24:00,740 A chim chiminy choozer. Chim chim chroozer. 265 00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:29,100 Thank you very much there, Tony B. 266 00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:53,020 Thank you very much for throwing in a tip to us, but also letting us know about that. 267 00:24:53,020 --> 00:25:01,020 That's incredible intel there from Tony B. 268 00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:03,020 Thanks very much, Tony B. 269 00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:05,020 Magu Delaney, Lewis Burke, thank you very much. 270 00:25:05,020 --> 00:25:10,160 Anaconda G in the he with the you know for twee. 271 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,040 Hydro Cal, thank you very much, Jackie. 272 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:14,320 Very kind of you. 273 00:25:14,420 --> 00:25:16,960 Lovely little bit of Christmas affection. 274 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:18,860 Folly it. 275 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,220 Furious pace, you say? 276 00:25:20,340 --> 00:25:26,500 Well, unfortunately, the pace had to end with a frightening crash down to earth. 277 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:31,320 Brought back down to earth at pace in a ball of flames, in a hail of bullets. 278 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,200 I don't know which way I'd rather go in a ball of flames or a hail of bullets. 279 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:38,040 Any ideas, Tom? 280 00:25:39,460 --> 00:25:42,120 Both would not be optimal, to be honest. 281 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,840 I would rather be, I'd rather pass out. 282 00:25:45,220 --> 00:25:50,260 I'd rather be suffocated, not suffocated, but just, I don't want to know what's happened, 283 00:25:50,380 --> 00:25:50,700 do you know? 284 00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:53,300 I get you, I get you, I get you. 285 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:03,860 And I don't want my body to be absolutely blasted to pieces by bullets either, you know? 286 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,840 I want the, I want an open coffin at the funeral. 287 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:08,600 Yeah. 288 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:15,580 Well, I thought you said you wanted to be cremated though, and your fucking ashes, uh, tossed into 289 00:26:15,580 --> 00:26:21,260 the fuel, the fuel compartment of a bus, the fuel sump, the fuel tank. 290 00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:25,100 You've just reminded me I do, yeah. 291 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,200 So, blast away, lads. 292 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:27,820 Blash away. 293 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:33,800 If you want a fucking 50 cal, my, my head, just leave a bit, leave enough for the, for the 294 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:34,120 fire. 295 00:26:36,340 --> 00:26:40,220 It's a sad, sad thought, Tom, but it's a fucking beautiful one as well. 296 00:26:41,180 --> 00:26:41,620 It is, yeah. 297 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:46,240 Just as long as there's a bit of me to power a bus around the town after I've gone, I don't 298 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,400 mind getting 50 cal'd on the map. 299 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:58,400 Thank you very much there. 300 00:26:58,780 --> 00:27:03,580 Follyot, Giller, Super Quinn Sausages, now Christmas morning, not a bother, thank you very much. 301 00:27:04,180 --> 00:27:06,300 Rath Keel Driving School, thank you very much. 302 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,640 Handling the Nissan Sunny like a pro, very kind of you. 303 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,780 Mickey Mace, thank you very much for your tip there, just come through on the pipeline. 304 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:12,960 Ante, thanks very much. 305 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,720 She said the donation link is missing from the description. 306 00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:19,300 Francis, thanks very much for letting us know in the past if we'd have had the wherewithal 307 00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:22,760 to have read that beautiful bit of intel. 308 00:27:23,860 --> 00:27:29,040 Then nothing would have been able to be done about it anyway because we were too busy tearing 309 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,840 up the landscape out here in Al-Mazra. 310 00:27:33,540 --> 00:27:36,660 It's a lovely place out in the fucking desert. 311 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,960 It's hot, it's heavy, got a lot of fucking spice to it. 312 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:44,920 Thank you very much there, Mr. Buttons. 313 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,960 Francis, what do you and Tommy have planned for the Christmas? 314 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,060 Just fucking eating. 315 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,280 Eating and, uh, did you get this? 316 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,720 Did you get the ordering from the off-license today, Tom? 317 00:27:56,540 --> 00:28:02,140 I, uh, just got a few shtouts for myself for tonight, but I was waiting. 318 00:28:02,540 --> 00:28:08,420 We want to leave it until afternoon tomorrow to really, uh, just push it, push it until the 319 00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:09,860 deadline, do you know what I mean? 320 00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:16,480 I do indeed, I do indeed, I do indeed, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 321 00:28:16,540 --> 00:28:21,820 I mean, it's not going to be that busy around our locale, but if you were to head into Castle 322 00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:23,460 Bar, then it'd be too fucking busy. 323 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:29,140 Well, I did Castle Bar the other day, you see, I got the slippers and, uh, the packet 324 00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:30,160 of spice for the chilli. 325 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,100 And how was the chilli there? 326 00:28:33,180 --> 00:28:33,700 Did you have that? 327 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,400 I had that last night, yeah, I made that last night. 328 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:41,160 It's very nice, there's still some left for you there in the fridge. 329 00:28:42,580 --> 00:28:44,860 I might have a bit of the before bed, yeah. 330 00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:49,360 Um, thanks very much there, Gridrain741, very, very kind of you. 331 00:28:49,420 --> 00:28:52,160 There may be no ice buses when Tommy dies. 332 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:58,840 His ashes would have to be slathered on a rechargeable battery pack. 333 00:28:58,980 --> 00:29:00,540 Never really thought about that, actually. 334 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,660 Um, it's going to be a fucking electric bus land. 335 00:29:06,660 --> 00:29:08,560 I dream of electric bus. 336 00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:11,200 Yeah, never thought about that. 337 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,920 Um, it's all, it's all going to be lithium ion. 338 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,320 So, I'm going to have to be ionised, I think. 339 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,480 If, maybe, if you can save my ashes. 340 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:26,420 I want to be cremated and then ionised, if there's a way of doing that. 341 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,740 Or maybe even keeping a bit of me. 342 00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:30,620 Uh, freeze dry me. 343 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,720 And, uh, then ionise me. 344 00:29:33,740 --> 00:29:34,960 I'm not sure how that would be done. 345 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,140 Yeah, well, I'm not sure, really, of the legality of keeping a bit of you. 346 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:39,840 Do you know what I mean? 347 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:44,360 Once you're dead, I think your body is, it's sacrosanct, then. 348 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,600 I'm not actually sure whether or not I could just keep a chunk of you in the fridge or the freezer or anything like that. 349 00:29:49,660 --> 00:29:52,020 Well, I'll write a letter for them, so it just says, 350 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:56,480 To whom it may concern, Francis can have a chunk of me. 351 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,600 Yeah, there's moral, there are moral issues in that as well. 352 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,080 I don't want to have bits of you in the fucking fridge freezer, to be honest, Tom, 353 00:30:05,140 --> 00:30:10,960 because I've got other mince and things like that and meats and, uh, God forbid, 354 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:17,620 I actually mixed you up with the fucking chicken and ended up making a stir fry out of you or something like that. 355 00:30:17,660 --> 00:30:22,040 That would, uh, that would not only desecrate your fucking soul and memory. 356 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,940 It would be a fantastic loss. 357 00:30:25,380 --> 00:30:27,400 To our jam at the same time. 358 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,440 It might be a beautiful meal. 359 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,480 Could be a beautiful way to go as well. 360 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:39,680 Never been into the cannibal, never thought I'd get into the cannibalism myself, to be honest to you. 361 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,980 Um, Dum Dum the Dodo, thanks very much. 362 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,280 Happy Christmas from the whole family watching live. 363 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:46,620 Thanks very much, Joey Goblins. 364 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:48,200 Very kind of you. 365 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:49,540 The Spice Mongrel. 366 00:30:50,380 --> 00:30:52,500 Thanks for the schlug Christmas. 367 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,840 Uh, Siobhan, thank you very much. 368 00:30:54,940 --> 00:30:56,420 Marcy Aileen, thank you very much. 369 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:57,580 Thanks for your service. 370 00:30:58,060 --> 00:30:58,540 I love you. 371 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:03,820 Will forever cherish the blessing you gave me for my first child, Alu Akbar. 372 00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:07,260 What a beautiful, beautiful statement there from Marcy. 373 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,800 And Gridrain, 741, thank you very much as well. 374 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,100 Are you any relation to Slabodan Milosevic, Sam? 375 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:21,340 I am it. 376 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:22,840 But I know of him. 377 00:31:23,500 --> 00:31:23,900 I, uh... 378 00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:31,480 was on a journey with him there a few years back, before shit hit the fan down there in the Balkans. 379 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,860 And I did, I gave him a lift. 380 00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:37,020 Would you believe I gave him a lift? 381 00:31:38,900 --> 00:31:40,640 And where was he going at the time? 382 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:41,320 I'm sure he was... 383 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,080 He was a war criminal, was he not? 384 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:44,880 Well, that's... 385 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,580 That's how it transpired at the time. 386 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,200 I just thought he was a nice... 387 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,480 A nice man from that locale. 388 00:31:51,140 --> 00:31:53,480 Little did I know that he'd actually committed genocide. 389 00:31:54,260 --> 00:31:56,800 But when I asked him what he did, he just said he did... 390 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,140 He worked on cars and stuff. 391 00:31:59,740 --> 00:32:01,240 Did you not know from the pictures? 392 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:02,600 Sure, you were in NATO, no? 393 00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:05,860 You must have had pictures of the fucking people that you were meant to be killing. 394 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,820 Well, I wasn't doing any killing, you see. 395 00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:09,960 I was doing dinners and buses. 396 00:32:10,860 --> 00:32:12,320 And I'd seen pictures of the fellas. 397 00:32:13,180 --> 00:32:16,920 But, you know, when you're in the zone, you don't really fucking take any notice. 398 00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:19,360 Sure, you remember Fassbender in the movie. 399 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,160 He managed to pretend to be a German in that. 400 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:24,600 Yeah. 401 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,920 Hodge, thanks very much for the tip there. 402 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,840 Danny B, an iconic price. 403 00:32:31,180 --> 00:32:32,060 Nine to four. 404 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:32,980 Thanks very much. 405 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,320 Can I get a shout-out to Jigo? 406 00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:37,420 Lying up, dying after a rake of pints. 407 00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:38,280 You can indeed. 408 00:32:38,740 --> 00:32:42,660 Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! Jigo! 409 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:48,900 That's like six shout-outs in one go for Jigo there from Danny B. 410 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,220 What a name as well. 411 00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:50,980 Jigo. 412 00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:56,540 Ready to go? 413 00:32:57,300 --> 00:32:58,320 Ready to blow? 414 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,400 Let's- let's- let's blow this joint. 415 00:33:12,940 --> 00:33:14,280 Well, keys is closed. 416 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:33,000 Here we go, here we go, here we go. 417 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:54,840 Someone just died there, someone got inside there. Gino. G-Gino! Gino! Gino! Ginelli! 418 00:33:54,840 --> 00:34:24,480 Gino! Ginelli! Lovely bit of Gino Ginelli there. Hostel UOV in the area. You're packing the big, the big gun there, the big schniphauser. 419 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:43,880 *Mario's voice* Could be another sausage in here, make sure you've got your fucking grill with ya! 420 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,480 Stole that away. 421 00:34:53,480 --> 00:35:00,480 I'm only just- It's been a month, but I'm only getting used to the stowing and keeping. 422 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:17,880 There we go. Bit of action down here. There you are. There you are. Cracked his arse. Little pineapple for ya. Boomhauer. No dice. Whip out the vag. There you are. 423 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:27,880 *Mario's voice* Whip out the Vaz. Keith Vaz is after ya. It's a lovely bit of combination pack awareness week here. We've got the Vazhnev9k submachine gun. And he's dual wielding that with an RPK. He's got the RPK going. Plebius, thanks very much for the billy roll. 424 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:50,880 Whip out the Vaz! Keith Vaz is after you! It's a lovely bit of combination pack awareness week here. We've got the Vazhnev9k Sub Machine Gun. And he's dual wielding that with an RPK. He's got the RPK going. Playbius, thanks very much for the billy roll. 425 00:35:54,880 --> 00:36:21,880 Thank you very much for the billy roll. And Rathkill, thank you very much. And Shkav and Pudge. 426 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:33,880 Really in the mood for a bit of billy roll right now with this. And he's gonna get absolutely lit up with the Semtex. And what about that? Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. 427 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:45,880 Easy now, Francis. Come on. There's no need for that kind of language. There really is no kind of... There's no kind of need for that kind of language. 428 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:57,880 I'm not sure. You smell of want. You see, you're gonna want to be able to fucking get out of this. Otherwise... 429 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:04,880 It's gonna be a sting in the tail, come on, come on, friends, come on. 430 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:09,880 Watch a grenade. 431 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:10,880 Come on. 432 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,880 Get back, that's one. 433 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,880 And another one in the head, that's a double. 434 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,880 There's your gulag, huh? 435 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,880 That's your gulag. 436 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,880 That's your gulag. 437 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:31,880 That's the gulag you wanted, huh? You got it. 438 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,880 Double boyos. 439 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,880 Double fuckin' boyos. 440 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,880 Double fuckin' boyos. 441 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,880 I'm going to go to the back of the shot. 442 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,880 I'm going to go to the back of the shot. 443 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:51,880 Enemy soldier incoming. 444 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:52,880 Enemy soldier. 445 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:53,880 Enemy soldier. 446 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:54,880 Enemy soldier. 447 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,880 *Loud noise* 448 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,880 *Loud noise* 449 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:26,880 *Gibberish* 450 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,880 I'm gonna keep an eye on that doorway down there. 451 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:34,880 I know there's a car... 452 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,880 ...beside ya. 453 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:40,880 *Gibberish* 454 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,880 Big cruddle...aw, fuck. 455 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,880 I can see what you were trying to do there, but it wasn't gonna work out for you. 456 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,880 Man there, man there! 457 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,880 I'm on him. 458 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,880 Let's get this rat. 459 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,880 Probably on the roof now. Probably just fiddling around on the roof. 460 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,880 Waiting for me. 461 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,880 Gang bang! 462 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,880 Oh! Sensual! 463 00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:09,880 Piece of pudding! 464 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:12,880 Oh, fuck. 465 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,880 Got a second grenade. 466 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:15,880 Do you want that? 467 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,880 Ohhhhhhh... 468 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,880 Please... 469 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,880 Tell me that was a Christmas miracle blast. 470 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:24,880 Princess? 471 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,880 Yeah? 472 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:27,880 I'm very pleased to say that was a Christmas miracle blast. 473 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,880 All the way from the North Pole... 474 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,880 ...sant his little gift box... 475 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,880 ...gift wrapped Christmas hamper... 476 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:34,880 ...containing... 477 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:35,880 ...death... 478 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:36,880 ...destruction... 479 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:38,880 ...lovely little block of sheep's cheese... 480 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,880 ...gourmet... 481 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,880 ...salt... 482 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,880 ...a bottle of red wine... 483 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,880 ...and that'll be 55 euro. Thank you. 484 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:54,720 destruction lovely little black of sheep's cheese gourmet salt 485 00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:05,280 a bottle of red wine and that'll be 55 euro thank you it's pricey enough to be honest comes in a 486 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:15,280 nice box still though just salt one red wine that's not even a premium what the 487 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:25,680 fuck they were asleep they were asleep was that a bot it wasn't a bot because it went up to six the 488 00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:39,680 score has gone up to six that's six deaths 489 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:54,080 so 490 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,080 *Bang* 491 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,080 *Bang* 492 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,080 *Bang* 493 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:11,080 *Bang* 494 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:12,080 *Bang* 495 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:13,080 *Bang* 496 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,080 Chance we get that load out, get the fennec. 497 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,080 Fuck. 498 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,080 Fuck. 499 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,080 Could do with an ol' vest as well. 500 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:23,580 Well... 501 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,080 Moving here! 502 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,080 Enemy UAV active. 503 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,080 Head for the hills. 504 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,080 It's the same as the last game. 505 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,080 When we get to this point, 506 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,080 probably best to get up to the fucking mountain range. 507 00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,080 Get a bit of height. 508 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,080 Stay on the edge of the circle. 509 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,080 Bit of scope to be able to see around you. 510 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,080 And take out the trash from up top. 511 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,080 Could be fucking dodgy. 512 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,080 Going in there. 513 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,080 As soon as I see it, as soon as I see it, 514 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,080 we're getting sniped at. 515 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,080 So we'll do this. 516 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,080 Rock and roll driving side to side. 517 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,080 Low fuel indicator. 518 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,080 Moving across death bridge here. 519 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,080 I thought that this was a fucking dodgy move to make. 520 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,080 Probably better than going the other way. 521 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,080 Small transition there. 522 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:47,080 Oh, it's whipping out the drone. 523 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,080 What the fuck happened there? 524 00:42:50,080 --> 00:43:13,200 What happened there? 525 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,960 Lovely better drone. 526 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:15,960 Dronealdo. 527 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:16,960 Cristiano Dronealdo. 528 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:18,960 And there he is. 529 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:19,960 He's stuck. 530 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:26,360 Get him he's stuck. 531 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:27,360 Lovely drone. 532 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,360 19. 533 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,240 He's giving you all info you need. 534 00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:35,560 He's running into that house over there. 535 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:41,000 He's piss balling about inside the shed. 536 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:49,840 Good night Vienna. 537 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:59,240 Good night sleepy Jean. 538 00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:07,240 Good night sleepy Jean. 539 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:16,640 Good night sleepy Jean. 540 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,640 Good night sleepy Jean. 541 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,920 Shug night sleepy jeans. 542 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:25,520 Moving! 543 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,600 A lovely can of beans. 544 00:44:30,060 --> 00:44:33,520 And a sausage from Aldi. 545 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,940 You know what it means. 546 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,340 Still to get the loadout. 547 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:45,800 The loadout is somewhere around here. 548 00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,880 It's disappeared from the map now. 549 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:54,220 But... I don't know where approximately was around here. 550 00:44:54,220 --> 00:44:55,460 But you've got to remember. 551 00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,680 You fucking lads probably coming down from the top of this mountain range as well. 552 00:44:59,740 --> 00:45:02,020 Looking to get a pot shot at you. 553 00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:03,320 Pole pot! 554 00:45:03,940 --> 00:45:06,380 Gas is closing. Get to the new safe zone. 555 00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:08,000 Could potentially be up there. 556 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,000 He's is closed. 557 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:23,540 Sweet, sweet piece of beef. 558 00:45:24,540 --> 00:45:27,340 Sweet, sweet piece of beef. 559 00:45:27,340 --> 00:45:46,840 Oh! 560 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:46,940 Oh! 561 00:45:46,940 --> 00:45:49,920 One just after he was leaving. 562 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,280 Oh, he could have fucking killed us. 563 00:45:53,420 --> 00:45:54,460 Must have seen us. 564 00:45:54,460 --> 00:46:07,760 I think there could be fucking lads around the observatory here. 565 00:46:07,780 --> 00:46:09,460 There's always a few rats up here when they... 566 00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:12,740 Yeah, I know. 567 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,460 Just as we say that... 568 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,820 Just after hearing... 569 00:46:18,820 --> 00:46:20,880 Assault rifle fire or not... 570 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,100 Or machine gun fire, should I say, from down there. 571 00:46:23,100 --> 00:46:25,100 So we'll mount that... 572 00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:27,740 And we'll play the waiting game. 573 00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:32,380 There you go. 574 00:46:33,260 --> 00:46:33,660 How ya! 575 00:46:33,660 --> 00:46:56,140 Quasi-quarting. 576 00:46:56,140 --> 00:46:58,560 Quasi-quarting. 577 00:46:58,560 --> 00:46:59,820 Kill. 578 00:46:59,820 --> 00:46:59,820 Kill. 579 00:46:59,820 --> 00:47:00,720 Kill. 580 00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:01,640 Crush. 581 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:02,700 Destroy. 582 00:47:02,700 --> 00:47:02,720 Destroy. 583 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:02,720 Kill. 584 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:03,720 Crush. 585 00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:04,720 Destroy. 586 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:04,780 Kill. 587 00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:04,780 Crush. 588 00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:04,780 Destroy. 589 00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:05,280 Destroy. 590 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:11,960 Did you see the shtade of that fucking laggard? 591 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:15,880 He got absolutely wrecked. 592 00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:24,920 That laggard just got absolutely wrecked by Autobot. 593 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:43,160 Getting deja vu here? 594 00:47:43,160 --> 00:48:13,140 Getting deja vu here? 595 00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:24,140 Getting deja vu here? 596 00:48:24,140 --> 00:48:41,140 It's very tense now, we just you don't want to go straight away you want to make sure there's nobody around. 597 00:48:41,140 --> 00:48:43,140 Holy fuck! 598 00:48:43,140 --> 00:48:50,140 Jack is moving in, new safe zone located. 599 00:48:50,140 --> 00:48:52,140 What was going on there? 600 00:48:52,140 --> 00:49:03,140 What was going on there? 601 00:49:03,140 --> 00:49:07,640 Couldn't fucking tell you what was going on there to be honest with you. 602 00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:10,560 Your man was half asleep when we went through the door. 603 00:49:11,820 --> 00:49:14,220 He mustn't have had his Weetabix this morning. 604 00:49:15,020 --> 00:49:18,140 Because the cunt's fucking awareness was at an all time low. 605 00:49:18,700 --> 00:49:22,140 He was probably smoking hash cakes on the way to the house. 606 00:49:23,380 --> 00:49:26,000 How did he not even know that we were in the building? 607 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,660 Sure we were on top of the fucking roof for 10 minutes before going down. 608 00:49:31,300 --> 00:49:34,740 He must have been wearing fucking earmuffs or something. 609 00:49:35,340 --> 00:49:39,400 He must have had earplugs in. There's another guy over here. Look. He's getting fucking wrecked. 610 00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:46,260 Kill crushed. He's trying to airstrike us. Time to fuck off rapid staff. 611 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:53,980 Pushed out the parachute and fucking run like fuck. Run like fuck. 612 00:49:59,980 --> 00:50:01,320 Into the house. 613 00:50:02,460 --> 00:50:03,720 Safe as a mouse. 614 00:50:04,140 --> 00:50:04,980 Close the door. 615 00:50:04,980 --> 00:50:34,960 I'm sorry. 616 00:50:34,960 --> 00:51:00,240 Fuck. 617 00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:00,240 Fuck. 618 00:51:02,100 --> 00:51:04,140 Best just hide in the jacks. 619 00:51:04,140 --> 00:51:14,140 Get on top of the jacks. 620 00:51:15,140 --> 00:51:28,540 Can hear footsteps around the gaff. Hopefully he comes into the toilet. 621 00:51:28,540 --> 00:51:42,140 Decoy. 622 00:51:48,140 --> 00:51:51,900 Let's get to the quad bike over here. 623 00:52:12,140 --> 00:52:21,660 Quasi quad bike. Here we go. Here we go. It's all on. Someone's trying to fucking... I threw a grenade by Michele. Come on. Come on. You're down. 624 00:52:22,140 --> 00:52:33,040 This is it. You're about to die at the hands of quasi quad bike. Remember me. Remember the name. Remember the face. Ah fuck. 625 00:52:34,140 --> 00:52:52,380 Quasi quad bike. Ah you fucking prick. You shouldn't have been fucking around there trying to give him the big bamboo. Giving it the big talk. Like you're a quasi quad bike. 626 00:52:56,140 --> 00:53:23,280 You gave it too much there. You thought you were the fucking bees knees. You thought you were the big swinging bamboo in the town. You thought you were the chimp that got away from the enclosure. 627 00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:36,540 Awful sad about those fucking monkeys that got absolutely annihilated at the hands of the Swedish National Guard. Don't know if you've seen the story there. It was fucking horrible stuff. 628 00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:54,800 God have mercy on their fucking simian souls. Thank you very much for the tips lads. Gee. Bob. Santos. El Halper. Flamebag. Nymiljil. Marcy. Aileen. Thank you very much. 629 00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,840 Could you give a shout out and a merry Christmas to little Edith? 630 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,320 She's playing dinos in the next room. 631 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:06,300 Peanuts and crisps. 632 00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,100 Peanuts and crisps, Edith. 633 00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:09,900 Peanuts and crisps. 634 00:54:18,940 --> 00:54:20,340 Peanuts and crisps. 635 00:54:26,260 --> 00:54:29,220 Absolutely sickened. 636 00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:33,180 Sickened to the hilt. 637 00:54:35,580 --> 00:54:42,240 The prize that I paid was the ultimate prize. 638 00:54:42,820 --> 00:54:44,440 The prize of death. 639 00:54:46,420 --> 00:54:48,480 The prize of death. 640 00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:53,120 Still haven't won at Warzone. 641 00:54:54,740 --> 00:54:59,160 Will I ever win at all? 642 00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:04,460 Thanks very much there Ben Walters 643 00:55:04,460 --> 00:55:10,740 Women and children down here pump out the stout 644 00:55:10,740 --> 00:55:12,640 And thank you very much 645 00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:15,080 Connor Mac happy Christmas lads 646 00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:16,500 It's Tommy cooking the Xmas dinner 647 00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:18,420 This year is it yourself Francis 648 00:55:18,420 --> 00:55:21,780 It's a Tommy it's a Tommy special 649 00:55:21,780 --> 00:55:25,340 Sure I don't know how to cook it's Tommy all the way 650 00:55:25,340 --> 00:55:30,800 Revenge of the Tommy knockers 651 00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:32,560 Thank you very much Brian Coney 652 00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:34,960 For your tip that came through 653 00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,300 We were busy we were fighting 654 00:55:36,300 --> 00:55:39,400 Do ya as well you made a tip 655 00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:41,560 You said it's not Christmas without the war zones trains 656 00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,840 Well thanks very much for tuning in 657 00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:46,380 And the shlulag thank you very much 658 00:55:46,380 --> 00:55:49,280 The shmel of wand very nice lovely name 659 00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,200 Wrath kill plebeus 660 00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,880 Shkav thank you very much Shkav 661 00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,260 And Pudge 662 00:55:56,260 --> 00:55:57,640 And Danny B 663 00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:02,060 Like that covered the lads that were tapping before 664 00:56:02,060 --> 00:56:16,420 Harry any relation 665 00:56:16,420 --> 00:56:22,240 To Slabodan Belasovic 666 00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:36,680 Do you know Slabodan? 667 00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:47,060 He's a very nasty Balkan man Slabodan? 668 00:56:47,060 --> 00:56:48,060 Slabodan? 669 00:56:48,060 --> 00:56:49,060 Slabodan? 670 00:56:49,060 --> 00:56:50,060 And when you feel the bird? 671 00:56:50,060 --> 00:56:51,060 And when you feel the bird? 672 00:56:51,060 --> 00:56:51,060 Keep stark 673 00:56:51,060 --> 00:56:54,820 Thank you for the tip 674 00:56:54,820 --> 00:56:57,440 Kiki stockhammer 675 00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:08,500 Mark the lady as well 676 00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:11,280 thanking you. 677 00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:25,860 It's very, um, 678 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:27,680 very haunting 679 00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,880 stuff you've got going on there. 680 00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,240 Thanks very much, Mark Delaney and Kiki Staghammer. 681 00:57:32,580 --> 00:57:34,140 Any word when the Tommy NFT 682 00:57:34,140 --> 00:57:35,500 collection is coming? 683 00:57:37,460 --> 00:57:38,480 As, uh, 684 00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:39,900 was hoping to give some 685 00:57:39,900 --> 00:57:41,980 as digital stocking filler. 686 00:57:42,980 --> 00:57:44,620 McHugh's tomorrow for a nice festive 687 00:57:44,620 --> 00:57:45,640 sandwich would recommend. 688 00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:48,520 Look, all will be revealed 689 00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:49,280 in the new year. 690 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,920 All will be revealed in the new year. 691 00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:54,060 We don't want to make any promises. 692 00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,340 Francis made a promise there yesterday afternoon 693 00:57:56,340 --> 00:57:57,960 he was going to come back after the food. 694 00:57:58,240 --> 00:57:58,820 What happened? 695 00:57:59,860 --> 00:58:02,320 I was fucked, man. I went 696 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:04,500 hard on the, thanks very much for the tip 697 00:58:04,500 --> 00:58:06,120 there, Annie Buzzen. So I'm just gonna, 698 00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,160 I'm gonna tell you what went wrong in that 699 00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,580 fucking, with that voice, uh, 700 00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:11,900 modulation thing on. 701 00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:12,760 One second there. 702 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:12,760 One second there. 703 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:17,180 Basically, I went away from the stream. 704 00:58:17,180 --> 00:58:25,980 Basically, I went away from the stream. 705 00:58:25,980 --> 00:58:29,460 And went to Mace. 706 00:58:29,460 --> 00:58:37,140 And got a hot and spicy chicken fillet roll. 707 00:58:37,140 --> 00:58:43,120 And a massive bag of O'Donnell's crisps. 708 00:58:44,260 --> 00:58:44,740 And I'm talking. 709 00:58:44,740 --> 00:58:45,420 And I'm talking. 710 00:58:45,420 --> 00:58:45,420 And I'm talking. 711 00:58:45,420 --> 00:58:50,680 A majorly fucking big bag of O'Donnell's crisps. 712 00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:53,180 They were on offer for two euro. 713 00:58:55,180 --> 00:58:57,340 So I bought them. 714 00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,680 And I thought I'd only eat half. 715 00:59:01,100 --> 00:59:04,320 And save half for later. 716 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:10,180 But I ended up eating the whole bag. 717 00:59:10,180 --> 00:59:11,940 And I felt like shit. 718 00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:16,480 Went to sleep for half an hour. 719 00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:21,320 Felt fucking wrecked after. 720 00:59:23,900 --> 00:59:26,020 And then later. 721 00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:31,860 Because I was still so wrecked after the fillet rolling crisps. 722 00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:36,380 I made a massive mistake. 723 00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:40,920 What mistake did you make? 724 00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,560 I bought a good fellas pizza. 725 00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:49,920 No way. 726 00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:53,600 You can't have that after eating fucking roll. 727 00:59:54,380 --> 00:59:55,980 And then having crisps. 728 00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:56,980 And coke. 729 00:59:57,180 --> 00:59:57,740 And what have you. 730 00:59:57,820 --> 00:59:59,800 You can't have a good fellas for dinner as well. 731 01:00:02,100 --> 01:00:07,720 I had a good fellas out of pure laziness. 732 01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:12,760 And woke up around 2 a.m. 733 01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:17,660 Feeling like utter shit. 734 01:00:31,260 --> 01:00:33,420 Critical error there says. 735 01:00:34,740 --> 01:00:35,900 George and Jones. 736 01:00:36,900 --> 01:00:38,960 This isn't fucking loading the game. 737 01:00:39,140 --> 01:00:41,900 It keeps on getting into the lobby. 738 01:00:42,060 --> 01:00:45,160 And then it's had to restart twice now. 739 01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:56,240 I can't be fucking bothered waiting for this now. 740 01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,620 I might go and have a beer or something. 741 01:01:02,620 --> 01:01:03,420 What are you doing? 742 01:01:03,460 --> 01:01:04,320 Are you watching Shiffé? 743 01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:04,540 Are you? 744 01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:07,400 I might just watch a bit of Shiffé? 745 01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:08,280 Because I've been fuck it. 746 01:01:08,340 --> 01:01:09,660 We did well enough there for two. 747 01:01:09,740 --> 01:01:10,900 I'd like to do more about this. 748 01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:13,340 We could be waiting here all day. 749 01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:14,620 Me doing auto-tune. 750 01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:16,920 Trying to fill in the blanks till we come back. 751 01:01:17,140 --> 01:01:18,900 Like Craig Connick. 752 01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:19,940 Thanks very much there. 753 01:01:20,340 --> 01:01:21,920 I'm just skipping out of the shop to buy it. 754 01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:23,560 I'm going to start riding with some Scenten. 755 01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:27,780 And some sprouts for the boys. 756 01:01:27,900 --> 01:01:30,660 Is Quad Bike taking any Daft Punk requests? 757 01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:32,240 Yeah. 758 01:01:32,420 --> 01:01:34,440 If you want to fucking do it like that. 759 01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:34,880 We will. 760 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:35,120 Yeah. 761 01:01:35,220 --> 01:01:37,080 If you want to request away. 762 01:01:37,180 --> 01:01:37,780 Request away. 763 01:01:37,860 --> 01:01:39,200 We'll try and figure something out. 764 01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,480 We're waiting to get into another lobby. 765 01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:42,280 I'll give it another. 766 01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:43,940 We'll wait another one time. 767 01:01:44,020 --> 01:01:44,160 Will we? 768 01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:45,880 Try again, Sean. 769 01:01:46,460 --> 01:01:47,000 Try again. 770 01:01:47,540 --> 01:01:50,860 If it goes to it's up, then you might do a bit of Shiffé. 771 01:01:51,780 --> 01:01:53,060 It's getting on to nine. 772 01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:54,300 Like I wanted to have a fucking. 773 01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:55,420 I wanted to have the Shiffé. 774 01:01:55,540 --> 01:01:56,800 Be into the Shiffé right now anyway. 775 01:01:57,740 --> 01:01:59,200 Probably best just to start it then, maybe. 776 01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:06,040 Paddy, the Shampire says restart the game. 777 01:02:06,380 --> 01:02:07,680 I've restarted it there. 778 01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:15,640 Thank you very much, CrayConnick. 779 01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:16,280 Any buzzin'. 780 01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:17,020 Thank you very much. 781 01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:17,780 Do you play Fortnite? 782 01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:19,060 No, never played it. 783 01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:23,120 Or I tell a lie. 784 01:02:23,180 --> 01:02:24,840 I did play it, but I didn't get into it. 785 01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:33,000 Because I was too into Call of Duty and first person shooting and all that kind of stuff. 786 01:02:33,180 --> 01:02:35,740 But maybe it might be something to play. 787 01:02:36,100 --> 01:02:37,200 Another time sink. 788 01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:40,040 I'm actually trying to stop playing the fucking Warzone, to be honest. 789 01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:41,340 It's too much of a time sink. 790 01:02:41,420 --> 01:02:43,160 And I feel depleted. 791 01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:47,100 I feel wrecked and depressed after most sessions now. 792 01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:51,840 More often than that, I need to only play two games now or three games. 793 01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,080 And then that's the max, you know? 794 01:02:53,580 --> 01:02:59,260 Because if I play more than that, you feel worthless after it, you know? 795 01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:04,980 Especially if you're not getting Major League wins, you know? 796 01:03:04,980 --> 01:03:07,120 And you've never had a win on this Warzone 2 yet. 797 01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:09,720 Thank you very much. 798 01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:11,780 Thank you very much, B-Town Savior as well. 799 01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:12,840 Happy Christmas. 800 01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:14,500 Shout out the boys in B-Town. 801 01:03:15,020 --> 01:03:17,780 Use that tenner to get Tommy some phone credit. 802 01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:34,540 I'm just gonna grab a shout there. 803 01:03:35,820 --> 01:03:37,460 Grab away, Tom. Grab away. 804 01:03:37,460 --> 01:04:07,440 Grab away. 805 01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:37,420 Grab away. 806 01:04:37,420 --> 01:04:38,240 I'm in the house, are you? 807 01:04:39,300 --> 01:04:41,320 I'm everywhere, man. Fucking everywhere. 808 01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:49,680 I thought you were somewhere... I thought you were in your gaff or something. I thought that's why... I thought that was the deal that we had. That's why you were over the phone. 809 01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:52,660 I let myself in. 810 01:04:54,260 --> 01:04:55,500 But sure, you don't have a key. 811 01:04:56,940 --> 01:04:58,100 I climbed in through the window. 812 01:04:58,180 --> 01:05:04,440 Thanks very much, Tom. You're a fucking legend. Thank you. 813 01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:05,660 No problem. 814 01:05:07,420 --> 01:05:09,680 Enjoy the... Enjoy your fare for a bit, though. 815 01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:11,160 Bye-bye. 816 01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:39,160 *repeat* 817 01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:48,040 Yeah. Yeah. Zit. 818 01:05:48,820 --> 01:05:50,900 Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, boo. 819 01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:53,700 Should get that back again. 820 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:57,860 Really hammer that fucking title sequence there. 821 01:06:03,220 --> 01:06:04,640 Suppose you're out in the... 822 01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:06,980 Here we go. Oh, it's lovely. 823 01:06:06,980 --> 01:06:36,960 Here we go. 824 01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:45,380 Just point the antenna up into the sky toward the satellite, press the right buttons, and it tells you exactly where on the earth you are and how to get to where you're trying to go. 825 01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:49,320 But suppose it's getting dark and you just want to call home and have them pick you up. 826 01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:54,000 Then you need your own satellite uplink, like this NEC satellite phone. 827 01:06:54,000 --> 01:07:02,140 Just open up the dish, point it toward the satellite in the sky, turn it on, open the door, take out the phone, and phone home. 828 01:07:02,420 --> 01:07:08,380 These are just two of the neat computer gadgets you're going to see on our annual Computer Consumers Buying Guide show. 829 01:07:08,700 --> 01:07:13,140 Lots of neat gadgets in store on this edition of the Computer Chronicles. 830 01:07:13,140 --> 01:07:36,700 Computer Chronicles is made possible in part by Hewlett Packard, working with industry leaders to ensure compatibility across the board and across the network. 831 01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:41,220 And with the PCs, you're looking at partnership in a whole new light. 832 01:07:43,140 --> 01:07:46,340 Additional funding is provided by LaserJet printers from Hewlett Packard. 833 01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:50,720 Everything from a new color solution to models designed specifically for small businesses. 834 01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:52,360 HP LaserJet printers. 835 01:07:52,820 --> 01:07:54,660 You do your job, we'll do ours. 836 01:07:55,060 --> 01:07:57,020 And the Software Publishers Association. 837 01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,020 Welcome to the Computer Chronicles. 838 01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:08,060 I'm Stuart Schiffey, and with me today is Tim Baharin, president of Creative Strategies. 839 01:08:08,420 --> 01:08:12,200 Tim, we're looking at all kinds of neat toys and gadgets, computer hardware, and software for the season. 840 01:08:12,420 --> 01:08:17,100 You're going to start by showing us something called the Interactive Technical Manual for the USS Enterprise. 841 01:08:17,380 --> 01:08:17,980 What is this? 842 01:08:18,100 --> 01:08:25,260 This is the first technology that Apple has used with the virtual reality engine, and it's on the Star Trek Enterprise. 843 01:08:25,260 --> 01:08:31,000 We're going to go to the guided tour here and just take a quick look of what it looks like to put QuickTime VR in this. 844 01:08:31,060 --> 01:08:34,820 We're going to go to the bridge, and we're going to actually have a chance to take a look. 845 01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:36,120 Have we seen this one? 846 01:08:38,440 --> 01:08:43,980 I've seen a Star Trek sequence on the fucking Computer Chronicles before. 847 01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:51,520 Look at what it would be like if we were standing on the bridge itself, and we're able to look around. 848 01:08:51,860 --> 01:08:55,000 This is one of the aspects of the QuickTime engine that's so unique. 849 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:11,840 Please let me know in the chat box. 850 01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:15,780 I don't want to start the episode on one that we've seen before. 851 01:09:17,460 --> 01:09:37,180 Thank you very much. 852 01:09:37,180 --> 01:09:38,100 Dana Garvin. 853 01:09:38,100 --> 01:09:39,020 Thank you very much. 854 01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:40,880 We'll play that. 855 01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:47,140 Instead of a linear movie, I now have a virtual reality movie, and I can be looking at it as if I'm standing there. 856 01:09:47,220 --> 01:09:48,280 I can zoom in. 857 01:09:48,700 --> 01:09:52,820 I can turn to the right, turn to the left, a full 360 to see what's going on. 858 01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:59,440 And again, this is the Apple QuickTime virtual reality engine that's being applied now to this Star Trek Enterprise Interactive Manual. 859 01:09:59,520 --> 01:10:04,860 And it's really an exciting piece of technology that will be established in the future and be added to many other products. 860 01:10:04,980 --> 01:10:05,460 That's really neat. 861 01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:08,920 So you're really in control, and you can walk anywhere you want around the enterprise. 862 01:10:09,100 --> 01:10:09,200 Right. 863 01:10:09,300 --> 01:10:10,060 It's really neat. 864 01:10:10,060 --> 01:10:12,640 Okay, that's for people who want to play Captain Kirk or Captain Picard, whatever. 865 01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:13,860 Some people want to be evil. 866 01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:17,240 Check out Stu's data stick there. 867 01:10:17,860 --> 01:10:19,680 Some people want to be evil. 868 01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:21,960 Some people want to be Captain Kirk. 869 01:10:22,360 --> 01:10:24,340 Some want to be Captain Picard. 870 01:10:24,900 --> 01:10:26,540 Some people want to be evil. 871 01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:29,100 Knievel with my cheeky little Knievel stick. 872 01:10:30,460 --> 01:10:33,420 What happens when you plug this little baby into the machine? 873 01:10:33,560 --> 01:10:35,360 Do we go into cyberspace? 874 01:10:40,260 --> 01:10:41,420 Are we going... 875 01:10:41,420 --> 01:10:44,220 Badge man, tell me. 876 01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:47,260 Are we going into cyberspace with this? 877 01:10:47,780 --> 01:10:51,320 Knievel and risk their lives, but not really take a chance on breaking all their bones like he does. 878 01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:52,760 If you play lots of... 879 01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:56,520 Breaking all their bones like he does. 880 01:10:56,520 --> 01:11:00,760 Be evil Knievel and risk their lives, but not really take a chance on breaking all their bones like he does. 881 01:11:00,940 --> 01:11:04,300 If you play lots of action video games, use a normal joystick like this. 882 01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:06,480 Well, that's pretty boring if you're trying to ride a car or... 883 01:11:06,480 --> 01:11:07,880 Have you heard the noise in the background? 884 01:11:08,100 --> 01:11:12,380 There's gay music coming through, and it's like a drum beat or something. 885 01:11:12,380 --> 01:11:15,540 Play lots of action video games, use a normal joystick like this. 886 01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:18,160 Well, that's pretty boring if you're trying to ride a car or a motorcycle. 887 01:11:18,660 --> 01:11:22,700 Over there, we have our production assistant, Bev Black, in the simulator action chair. 888 01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:27,640 She's actually sitting on the joystick, because that's how she's running that motorcycle there. 889 01:11:27,720 --> 01:11:29,720 She leans to the left, the bike goes to the left. 890 01:11:29,780 --> 01:11:32,480 She leans to the right, the bike goes to the right. 891 01:11:32,480 --> 01:11:36,920 She's got the button controls in her hands there, but her body is actually doing the most natural thing, 892 01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:37,820 as if it crashes. 893 01:11:37,980 --> 01:11:38,320 It's not real. 894 01:11:38,480 --> 01:11:39,260 But it's actually... 895 01:11:39,260 --> 01:11:40,480 Over there, we have our production assistant. 896 01:11:40,480 --> 01:11:45,480 Over there, we have our production assistant. 897 01:11:45,480 --> 01:11:56,080 Look at the way in which the woman leans from left to right. 898 01:11:56,080 --> 01:12:05,280 When she leans in the chair, it moves the bike on the screen. 899 01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:09,020 She's got a pink motorcycle. 900 01:12:10,740 --> 01:12:15,220 She's got a pink motorcycle on the screen. 901 01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:28,920 Because that's how she's running that motorcycle there. 902 01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:31,000 She leans to the left, the bike goes to the left. 903 01:12:31,060 --> 01:12:33,760 She leans to the right, the bike goes to the right. 904 01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:38,180 She's got the button controls in her hands there, but her body is actually doing the most natural thing, 905 01:12:38,380 --> 01:12:39,920 as if she were on that real motorbike. 906 01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:40,960 It's the... 907 01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:41,360 Oh! 908 01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:43,980 But she doesn't break her bones when she crashes. 909 01:12:44,100 --> 01:12:45,180 See, that's the beauty of it. 910 01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:49,460 That's the Simulator Action Chair, the world's most expensive joystick, but it's really great. 911 01:12:50,100 --> 01:12:52,320 $279 from Simulator Technology. 912 01:12:52,620 --> 01:12:54,680 All right, Tim, you're going to be back with us a little bit later on. 913 01:12:54,900 --> 01:12:59,060 We'll also be joined by Heidi Roizen of Teemaker and Paul Schindler of Windows Magazine. 914 01:12:59,060 --> 01:13:03,080 Oh, it's all coming into fruition. 915 01:13:03,480 --> 01:13:07,860 Baby Paul Schindler's on the sauce. 916 01:13:08,060 --> 01:13:10,780 For their picks of the best new computer gadgets of the season. 917 01:13:11,180 --> 01:13:15,860 Now, we're going to help you decide maybe what to buy today, but how do you decide where to buy it? 918 01:13:16,020 --> 01:13:19,700 A mail order house, a superstore, or a neighborhood computer shop? 919 01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:20,780 Here's some good advice. 920 01:13:20,780 --> 01:13:26,780 Faced with stacks of software, all claiming to be easy to use, and... 921 01:13:26,780 --> 01:13:27,700 Fat32! 922 01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:31,740 ...computers, almost any shopper could become dizzy with confusion. 923 01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:33,260 Fat32! 924 01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:37,800 ...retailers are meant to step in and help, and even when they do, it's not enough. 925 01:13:39,060 --> 01:13:39,540 Fat32! 926 01:13:40,540 --> 01:13:43,680 Thanks very much there, Tobes, for the lean hauser. 927 01:13:44,220 --> 01:13:46,220 And all I've got to say to you, Tobes, is... 928 01:13:46,220 --> 01:13:49,540 You don't tend to think about the hip-hop culture. 929 01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:50,320 Fat32! 930 01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:52,960 All about rap music and the hip-hop scene. 931 01:13:53,060 --> 01:13:53,660 Fat32! 932 01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:57,120 I don't travel in those circles, I don't get to talk to those guys. 933 01:13:57,220 --> 01:13:57,500 Those guys. 934 01:13:57,680 --> 01:13:58,160 Fat32! 935 01:13:58,420 --> 01:14:00,400 But I did get to talk to them in this chatroom. 936 01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:01,020 Fat32! 937 01:14:01,260 --> 01:14:02,660 Hip-hop chatroom I went into. 938 01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:05,440 I don't know a lot about the hip-hop scene, but... 939 01:14:05,440 --> 01:14:05,980 Fat32! 940 01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:06,380 Really? 941 01:14:06,700 --> 01:14:07,220 I do now! 942 01:14:07,940 --> 01:14:10,600 I don't travel in those circles, I don't get to talk to those guys. 943 01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:11,280 Fat32! 944 01:14:11,740 --> 01:14:14,040 Man, I learned a lot about what really goes on in that world. 945 01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:16,040 Fat32! 946 01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:19,680 Fat32! 947 01:14:20,620 --> 01:14:23,840 And even when they use row upon row of look-alike computers, 948 01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:26,960 almost any shopper could become dizzy with confusion. 949 01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:30,580 That's when computer retailers are meant to step in and help. 950 01:14:30,900 --> 01:14:32,780 And even when they do, it's not enough. 951 01:14:32,780 --> 01:14:36,560 Check out these smooth dudes from the fucking 90s, look. 952 01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:38,440 Brown suit. 953 01:14:38,760 --> 01:14:39,480 It's a fucking... 954 01:14:39,480 --> 01:14:40,840 It's a ballsy move. 955 01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:43,200 You combine it with the black shirt. 956 01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:45,200 You know he's fucking... 957 01:14:45,200 --> 01:14:47,640 He's rocking the main stage. 958 01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:50,200 Fucking swag man do. 959 01:14:52,000 --> 01:14:53,900 Solid head of hair on him as well. 960 01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:56,380 Bushy Bob from Arimathea. 961 01:14:57,260 --> 01:14:57,580 Enough. 962 01:14:58,200 --> 01:14:59,800 A lot of our customers come in. 963 01:15:00,920 --> 01:15:04,920 They are, in addition to being confused about first-time buying decisions... 964 01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:06,280 Laurie Hale. 965 01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:12,200 ...that they have to make about equipment, they actually don't know what software is appropriate for them to use, 966 01:15:12,200 --> 01:15:15,560 and once they have it, don't know how to use it as well. 967 01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:16,920 A lot of... 968 01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:19,520 Lovely use of the word whence there. 969 01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:21,520 Let's have a look at that again, listen to that whence. 970 01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:23,520 W-H-E-N-C-E. 971 01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:25,520 We don't really hear it that much these days. 972 01:15:25,520 --> 01:15:26,520 ...make about equipment. 973 01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:34,520 They actually don't know what software is appropriate for them to use, and once they have it, don't know how to use it as well. 974 01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:43,520 A lot of individuals might not even be purchasers of software, but for their job, they are thrown into an environment where they need... 975 01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:45,520 People are saying it was once. 976 01:15:45,520 --> 01:15:47,520 She says once, not whence. 977 01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:52,520 ...to learn how to use a program very quickly in order to function in their job. 978 01:15:52,520 --> 01:16:02,520 The massive CompUSA store in Emeryville, California, has gone so far as to offer classes in software use. 979 01:16:02,520 --> 01:16:06,520 The massive CompUSA store in the world. 980 01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:08,520 Look at that book. 981 01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:14,520 He's listening in intently. 982 01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:18,520 He's really enjoying this... 983 01:16:18,520 --> 01:16:21,520 Big time. 984 01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:29,520 This fella looks like the man from The Office 985 01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:39,520 Who played the American version of Gareth in The Office. 986 01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:45,520 Who's this groovy looking cool cat? 987 01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:49,520 He's a groovy looking cool cat. 988 01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:59,520 Somebody let him into the house and give him a pint of milk. 989 01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:01,520 Years. 990 01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:03,520 Even at $150... 991 01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:07,520 Was the voice... 992 01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:08,520 Was the voice on... 993 01:17:08,520 --> 01:17:10,520 The voice modulator thing on then? 994 01:17:12,520 --> 01:17:15,520 When I said all that stuff about them listening... 995 01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:17,520 Oh, thank fuck for that. 996 01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:18,520 ...dollars per quarter... 997 01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:19,360 ...dollars per quarter... 998 01:17:19,360 --> 01:17:21,360 Sorry, just want to go back... 999 01:17:21,360 --> 01:17:22,360 We need to... 1000 01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:23,360 We need... 1001 01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:25,360 Need to hear it again. 1002 01:17:25,360 --> 01:17:31,360 A fine selection of faces... 1003 01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:35,360 A lovely moustache... 1004 01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:47,360 And a beautiful hidden gem behind him. 1005 01:17:47,360 --> 01:17:49,360 Finger on the mouse... 1006 01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:53,360 You've got the finger on the mouse... 1007 01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:57,360 Tonight... 1008 01:17:57,360 --> 01:18:07,260 Lovely kind of vaporwave, Windows 95 poster in the background. 1009 01:18:09,260 --> 01:18:12,820 Kind of fucking computer clouds. 1010 01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:19,040 Funny nowadays, computer cloud means something different. 1011 01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:23,200 Maybe they were anticipating it. 1012 01:18:24,620 --> 01:18:30,540 Of course, the day and evening classes fill up quickly, and CompUSA sees other advantages 1013 01:18:30,540 --> 01:18:33,980 to its Supercenter stores like size and selection. 1014 01:18:33,980 --> 01:18:39,400 Taking a different approach are the small individual merchants like Winner's Circle 1015 01:18:39,400 --> 01:18:44,860 in neighboring Berkeley, whose owner thinks personal service is more important than a large warehouse. 1016 01:18:44,860 --> 01:18:49,200 The difference in our store from most of the stores is that we don't have commissioned salespeople. 1017 01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:53,660 So we have a large tech staff that's able to answer questions from people that are having problems. 1018 01:18:53,660 --> 01:18:56,380 We'll educate a person that they know nothing about a computer. 1019 01:18:56,380 --> 01:18:59,580 I think we're able to talk in simple language to explain what it does. 1020 01:18:59,580 --> 01:19:04,900 There's always going to be a customer that requires hand-holding, and for that customer, our store's idea-- 1021 01:19:04,900 --> 01:19:07,020 Hand-holding. --is going to go out and hold their hand. 1022 01:19:07,020 --> 01:19:10,420 If they're afraid to assemble their computer, we'll go to their place and put it together for them. 1023 01:19:10,420 --> 01:19:11,220 Buyers-- 1024 01:19:11,220 --> 01:19:13,580 Literally go to your house and hold your hand. 1025 01:19:13,580 --> 01:19:20,460 --intimidated by any kind of store, can always order by mail, where the prices are often lower, but the service can be minimal. 1026 01:19:20,460 --> 01:19:31,700 Computer shoppers are sometimes wary of buying by mail, fearing that once the product is delivered, the support vanishes. But mail order houses say that doesn't necessarily follow. 1027 01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:50,420 The value of purchasing through us is you get toll-free technical support before the sale or after the sale. We'll be willing to take you through a solution discussion on the phone. As I said earlier, bring in a number of experts, technical experts. And once you make the purchase with us, we offer not only a long-term warranty, but technical support. You call us at any time, any time of the day, 1:00 in the morning, and we'll solve your problem for you. For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Victoria Smith. 1028 01:19:50,420 --> 01:19:57,420 Okay, we're back with Tim Baharan and we're going to take a look at some neat things for Windows machines and PCs, etc. Tim, first of all, we're going to take a look at some neat things for Windows machines and PCs, etc. 1029 01:19:57,420 --> 01:20:00,420 For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Victoria Smith. 1030 01:20:14,420 --> 01:20:19,420 Okay, we're back with Tim Baharan, and we're going to take a look at some neat things for Windows machines and PCs, etc. 1031 01:20:19,420 --> 01:20:25,420 Tim, first thing I want to show you is this. It's Handwriter for Windows from CIC, Communications Intelligence Corporation. 1032 01:20:25,420 --> 01:20:30,420 It's pen input, handwriting recognition, mouse control, anything you want it to be. 1033 01:20:30,420 --> 01:20:33,420 The main thing I like about this, it comes bundled with a collection of crossword puzzles. 1034 01:20:33,420 --> 01:20:37,420 And not only crossword puzzles, let me get in here and pick a puzzle. 1035 01:20:37,420 --> 01:20:44,420 You can do these puzzles and actually write on your board here, and let's see, the question was elevate, so let's guess the answer is lift. 1036 01:20:44,420 --> 01:20:48,420 And I can just handwrite in my answer, and the recognition takes care of it. 1037 01:20:48,420 --> 01:20:53,420 If I wanted to go five across happy, should we guess glad and see if that works? 1038 01:20:53,420 --> 01:20:55,420 Pretty neat. 1039 01:20:55,420 --> 01:21:00,420 It's really a lot of fun, and if you have nothing else to do, you spend a lot of time doing these crossword puzzles. 1040 01:21:00,420 --> 01:21:05,420 Okay, if you don't want to do pen input, and if you're into keyboards, I want to show you one other thing. 1041 01:21:05,420 --> 01:21:08,420 This is the ultimate ergonomic keyboard from Lexmark. 1042 01:21:08,420 --> 01:21:12,420 You know the problem of your wrists and all those carpal tunnel problems when you're in this unnatural position? 1043 01:21:12,420 --> 01:21:17,420 First thing you can do with the Lexmark keyboard, as you can see, you just split it down the middle. 1044 01:21:17,420 --> 01:21:19,420 That gives you a straight line from your wrist to your hand. 1045 01:21:19,420 --> 01:21:20,420 Solves one of the problems. 1046 01:21:20,420 --> 01:21:21,420 You're still at an awkward angle. 1047 01:21:21,420 --> 01:21:26,420 The next thing you can do with this keyboard is bend it up, crack it right in the middle like that. 1048 01:21:26,420 --> 01:21:28,420 It looks ridiculous, I know, but try it for a while. 1049 01:21:28,420 --> 01:21:31,420 It's the most comfortable, natural position to type in. 1050 01:21:31,420 --> 01:21:35,420 When you do this for a while, and you go back to that flat position, you realize how much strain you're really putting on your wrists and fingers all the time. 1051 01:21:35,420 --> 01:21:36,420 It really is interesting. 1052 01:21:36,420 --> 01:21:38,420 You've got a couple of neat toys there. 1053 01:21:38,420 --> 01:21:39,420 What do you got, Tim? 1054 01:21:39,420 --> 01:21:40,420 Sure. 1055 01:21:40,420 --> 01:21:44,420 First thing I'm going to show you is the digital recorder from Norris called Flashback. 1056 01:21:44,420 --> 01:21:47,420 It's in shops right now. 1057 01:21:47,420 --> 01:21:57,420 Sharper Image has it for $249, and it's basically got one meg of RAM on this thing, and gives you, with this one for $249, 30 minutes of actual taper time. 1058 01:21:57,420 --> 01:22:03,420 So what we do is we push the record button, and we can actually stop it now, and then play it back. 1059 01:22:03,420 --> 01:22:06,420 We push the record button, and we can actually stop it. 1060 01:22:06,420 --> 01:22:11,420 But what makes this unique is what they have is a PCMCIA IC card clip. 1061 01:22:11,420 --> 01:22:16,420 It's compatible with the PCMCIA PC card standard, so you could actually, with the adapter, download it as an- 1062 01:22:16,420 --> 01:22:17,420 Wow. 1063 01:22:17,420 --> 01:22:18,420 PCI card standard. 1064 01:22:18,420 --> 01:22:21,420 And this is a voice recording device. 1065 01:22:21,420 --> 01:22:23,420 1994, remember. 1066 01:22:23,420 --> 01:22:26,420 Looks like it's tapeless. 1067 01:22:26,420 --> 01:22:31,420 It's digitizing your voice onto a fucking memory slot. 1068 01:22:31,420 --> 01:22:33,420 Thank you very much, Rosco Bosco. 1069 01:22:33,420 --> 01:22:34,420 Very, very kind of you. 1070 01:22:34,420 --> 01:22:39,420 This is before you Universal Serial Bus. 1071 01:22:39,420 --> 01:22:40,420 Okay? 1072 01:22:40,420 --> 01:22:48,420 Maybe not before Universal Serial Bus, but definitely before it was widely adapted as a thing. 1073 01:22:48,420 --> 01:22:50,420 As an actual voice file to your computer. 1074 01:22:50,420 --> 01:22:55,420 It's really a neat little product, and because it's not tape, it can go to any place very quickly. 1075 01:22:55,420 --> 01:22:56,420 That's great. 1076 01:22:56,420 --> 01:22:59,420 Another product I'm going to show you is the Glide Point from Cirque Corporation. 1077 01:22:59,420 --> 01:23:00,420 Ivan the Terrible, thank you very much. 1078 01:23:00,420 --> 01:23:02,420 This is now on the shelf for Windows-based machines. 1079 01:23:02,420 --> 01:23:06,420 And this is the similar touchpad that's in the new Macintosh PowerBooks. 1080 01:23:06,420 --> 01:23:15,420 And as you can see on the screen, I can take this and literally very, very fast take the cursor and move it all over and reposition it. 1081 01:23:15,420 --> 01:23:18,420 It's one of the most natural inputs and speedy inputs. 1082 01:23:18,420 --> 01:23:22,420 But one of the more amazing little products we've come across recently is this. 1083 01:23:22,420 --> 01:23:26,420 This is from Pentax Corporation, and this is actually a printer. 1084 01:23:26,420 --> 01:23:27,420 That little thing is a printer. 1085 01:23:27,420 --> 01:23:28,420 That's right. 1086 01:23:28,420 --> 01:23:30,420 It's a thermal printer here. 1087 01:23:30,420 --> 01:23:32,420 Thank you very much, Pineapple. 1088 01:23:32,420 --> 01:23:34,420 It says, "Happy Shafimus." 1089 01:23:34,420 --> 01:23:36,420 "Prints at 300 dpi." 1090 01:23:36,420 --> 01:23:37,420 Wow. 1091 01:23:37,420 --> 01:23:41,420 Look at Stu's earning the money here pretending to be interested. 1092 01:23:41,420 --> 01:23:47,420 Look at that absolute look of pure fucking exquisite intrigue. 1093 01:23:47,420 --> 01:23:50,420 That little thing there. 1094 01:23:50,420 --> 01:23:51,420 Wow. 1095 01:23:51,420 --> 01:23:52,420 Wow. 1096 01:23:52,420 --> 01:23:54,420 That thing is a printer. 1097 01:23:54,420 --> 01:23:55,420 That's right. 1098 01:23:55,420 --> 01:23:56,420 It's a thermal printer. 1099 01:23:56,420 --> 01:23:57,420 Prints at 300 dpi. 1100 01:23:57,420 --> 01:24:00,420 Beautiful little head shake there. 1101 01:24:00,420 --> 01:24:03,420 It's just straight out of the fucking playbook. 1102 01:24:03,420 --> 01:24:06,420 It's straight out of Stu's little playbook. 1103 01:24:06,420 --> 01:24:07,420 Look. 1104 01:24:07,420 --> 01:24:08,420 Just that there. 1105 01:24:08,420 --> 01:24:09,420 Don't tell. 1106 01:24:09,420 --> 01:24:10,420 Show. 1107 01:24:10,420 --> 01:24:11,420 Show don't tell. 1108 01:24:11,420 --> 01:24:15,420 That's what they all say, you know, in the biz. 1109 01:24:15,420 --> 01:24:17,420 And here, he's not saying it. 1110 01:24:17,420 --> 01:24:18,420 He's showing it. 1111 01:24:18,420 --> 01:24:20,420 Fucking dynamism of this man. 1112 01:24:20,420 --> 01:24:21,420 That little thing is a printer. 1113 01:24:21,420 --> 01:24:22,420 That's right. 1114 01:24:22,420 --> 01:24:23,420 It's a thermal printer. 1115 01:24:23,420 --> 01:24:24,420 Wow. 1116 01:24:24,420 --> 01:24:25,420 It's a thermal printer. 1117 01:24:25,420 --> 01:24:26,420 Wow. 1118 01:24:26,420 --> 01:24:27,420 Prints at 300 dpi. 1119 01:24:27,420 --> 01:24:29,420 And three pages per minute. 1120 01:24:29,420 --> 01:24:30,420 It's... 1121 01:24:30,420 --> 01:24:31,420 Oh. 1122 01:24:31,420 --> 01:24:32,420 Sorry. 1123 01:24:32,420 --> 01:24:33,420 The follow up nod as well. 1124 01:24:33,420 --> 01:24:35,420 Prints at 300 dpi. 1125 01:24:35,420 --> 01:24:36,420 First, you've got that. 1126 01:24:36,420 --> 01:24:37,420 The reckoning. 1127 01:24:37,420 --> 01:24:38,420 The confusion. 1128 01:24:38,420 --> 01:24:42,420 The coming to terms with what he's been faced with. 1129 01:24:42,420 --> 01:24:44,420 Then the confirmation. 1130 01:24:44,420 --> 01:24:47,420 And three pages per minute. 1131 01:24:47,420 --> 01:24:48,420 Boom. 1132 01:24:48,420 --> 01:24:49,420 Right there. 1133 01:24:49,420 --> 01:24:50,420 Sensual stew. 1134 01:24:50,420 --> 01:24:53,420 A classic maneuver. 1135 01:24:53,420 --> 01:24:56,420 It's going to go up there in the top 15, I'd say. 1136 01:24:56,420 --> 01:24:58,420 It's portable. 1137 01:24:58,420 --> 01:25:00,420 So it's basically with batteries. 1138 01:25:00,420 --> 01:25:03,420 And the actual output is phenomenal. 1139 01:25:03,420 --> 01:25:05,420 Lovely feedback. 1140 01:25:05,420 --> 01:25:07,420 I know it's a real one. 1141 01:25:07,420 --> 01:25:09,420 And then I'm not just fucking talking shite one. 1142 01:25:09,420 --> 01:25:10,420 I can see in the chat. 1143 01:25:10,420 --> 01:25:11,420 People are fucking loving it. 1144 01:25:11,420 --> 01:25:13,420 A classic, says Johnson Lobster. 1145 01:25:13,420 --> 01:25:15,420 Look of incredulity, says Sam. 1146 01:25:17,420 --> 01:25:19,420 Acceptance. 1147 01:25:19,420 --> 01:25:20,420 Greatest. 1148 01:25:20,420 --> 01:25:21,420 Goat. 1149 01:25:21,420 --> 01:25:23,420 Greatest of all time. 1150 01:25:23,420 --> 01:25:26,420 Top 15 nods head. 1151 01:25:26,420 --> 01:25:29,420 It's unreal, says 20 fucking years. 1152 01:25:29,420 --> 01:25:30,420 And also. 1153 01:25:30,420 --> 01:25:34,420 This is fucking crazy, says Dewey as well. 1154 01:25:34,420 --> 01:25:35,420 Sorry about the language. 1155 01:25:35,420 --> 01:25:37,420 I'm only reading what's there in the text box. 1156 01:25:37,420 --> 01:25:38,420 Okay. 1157 01:25:38,420 --> 01:25:42,420 Thanks very much, Mr. Buttons and Paul Meschgl. 1158 01:25:42,420 --> 01:25:46,420 Look at this printed document that the Badge Meister has at the ready. 1159 01:25:46,420 --> 01:25:49,420 Actually with this thermal paper, have full 300. 1160 01:25:49,420 --> 01:25:51,420 Welcome to the Computer Chronicles. 1161 01:25:51,420 --> 01:25:53,420 A really cool show. 1162 01:25:53,420 --> 01:25:57,420 Using the Pentax Pocket Jet portable PC printing. 1163 01:25:57,420 --> 01:26:00,420 DPI as if I would have on a laser printer. 1164 01:26:00,420 --> 01:26:05,420 So now, instead of having to fax my stuff down at a hotel, 1165 01:26:05,420 --> 01:26:08,420 I can take this little 17 ounce printer with me everywhere on the road. 1166 01:26:08,420 --> 01:26:11,420 This is $499, just hits the streets this month. 1167 01:26:11,420 --> 01:26:12,420 Pentax Pocket Jet, that's really cool. 1168 01:26:12,420 --> 01:26:13,420 Yes, on the road. 1169 01:26:13,420 --> 01:26:15,420 This is $499, just hits the streets this month. 1170 01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:15,580 Yes. 1171 01:26:15,580 --> 01:26:19,580 I never noticed the fucking Badge's fingers. 1172 01:26:19,580 --> 01:26:21,580 Fucking badged. 1173 01:26:21,580 --> 01:26:24,580 Did not notice that until now. 1174 01:26:24,580 --> 01:26:29,580 ...streets this month. 1175 01:26:29,580 --> 01:26:31,580 Pentax Pocket Jet, that's really cool. 1176 01:26:31,580 --> 01:26:32,580 Yes. 1177 01:26:32,580 --> 01:26:33,580 Thanks a lot. 1178 01:26:33,580 --> 01:26:35,580 Let's go over here and join Heidi Roizen, CEO of Teammaker Company. 1179 01:26:35,580 --> 01:26:36,580 Thanks, Dewey. 1180 01:26:36,580 --> 01:26:37,580 And you have some neat stuff to show us here. 1181 01:26:37,580 --> 01:26:38,580 What are we going to start with? 1182 01:26:38,580 --> 01:26:40,580 Well, I'm going to start with Vroombook Strato-Wackius. 1183 01:26:40,580 --> 01:26:41,580 Okay, so this is it. 1184 01:26:41,580 --> 01:26:42,580 This is Strato-Wackius over here. 1185 01:26:42,580 --> 01:26:43,580 Right. 1186 01:26:43,580 --> 01:26:45,580 Elaborate PC box packaging. 1187 01:26:45,580 --> 01:26:47,580 It's got a little window in it. 1188 01:26:47,580 --> 01:26:49,580 It sounds like violins, music. 1189 01:26:49,580 --> 01:26:53,580 Strato-Wackius is fun with music for the early learning audience. 1190 01:26:53,580 --> 01:26:58,580 What I've started here with is one of the many pages that you can use with the product. 1191 01:26:58,580 --> 01:26:59,580 And what this one is, is an instrument builder. 1192 01:26:59,580 --> 01:27:01,580 Hair scenario, which could warrant googly eyes. 1193 01:27:01,580 --> 01:27:02,580 And what this one is, is an instrument builder. 1194 01:27:02,580 --> 01:27:08,580 But I don't think they have that kind of Jim Henson, Muppets, kind of Fraggle Rock. 1195 01:27:08,580 --> 01:27:12,580 It doesn't have the Fraggle Rock mystique, her hair doesn't. 1196 01:27:12,580 --> 01:27:16,580 Like if you were to googly eye that, it wouldn't work. 1197 01:27:16,580 --> 01:27:18,580 For the early learning audience. 1198 01:27:18,580 --> 01:27:23,580 And what I've started here with is one of the many pages that you can use with the product. 1199 01:27:23,580 --> 01:27:27,580 And what this one is, is an instrument builder. 1200 01:27:27,580 --> 01:27:31,580 And obviously we're using some instruments here that you may not normally see. 1201 01:27:31,580 --> 01:27:33,580 There are over a thousand combinations you can come up with. 1202 01:27:33,580 --> 01:27:35,580 And it's a lot of fun for kids to go through. 1203 01:27:35,580 --> 01:27:38,580 I want to hear what a silly straw might sound like as an instrument. 1204 01:27:38,580 --> 01:27:40,580 Maybe a muffler, a fish ball. 1205 01:27:40,580 --> 01:27:42,580 So let's pull something together here. 1206 01:27:42,580 --> 01:27:44,580 There's actually some pretty cool... 1207 01:27:44,580 --> 01:27:46,580 It looks absolutely disgusting. 1208 01:27:46,580 --> 01:27:49,580 This machine, this game that she's premiering there. 1209 01:27:49,580 --> 01:27:51,580 Swedish monkey SWAT team, thank you very much. 1210 01:27:51,580 --> 01:27:53,580 Hello Francis, Tom, Connor and all. 1211 01:27:53,580 --> 01:27:55,580 Merry Christmas, been a long time. 1212 01:27:55,580 --> 01:27:58,580 And looking forward to lots more. 1213 01:27:58,580 --> 01:28:00,580 Have you seen any chimps snaking about? 1214 01:28:00,580 --> 01:28:03,580 There's been a zoo break. 1215 01:28:03,580 --> 01:28:04,580 No, we haven't. 1216 01:28:04,580 --> 01:28:07,580 And sure, all the chimps got fucking taken down. 1217 01:28:07,580 --> 01:28:10,580 SWAT 32 by the Swedes. 1218 01:28:11,580 --> 01:28:13,580 They filled them full of lead. 1219 01:28:13,580 --> 01:28:15,580 Heckler and cock. 1220 01:28:15,580 --> 01:28:17,580 Monkey go bye-bye. 1221 01:28:17,580 --> 01:28:18,580 No funeral. 1222 01:28:18,580 --> 01:28:19,580 Closed casket. 1223 01:28:19,580 --> 01:28:21,580 I heard that they took the monkeys that they killed. 1224 01:28:22,580 --> 01:28:24,580 Gave them a fucking sea burial, man. 1225 01:28:25,580 --> 01:28:29,580 Because they didn't want people fucking going to their grave, making a shrine of their graves. 1226 01:28:29,580 --> 01:28:34,580 It's just another CIA black side fucking top secret op gone wrong. 1227 01:28:34,580 --> 01:28:35,580 Complex software. 1228 01:28:35,580 --> 01:28:39,580 That's because Sweden joined NATO there recently enough. 1229 01:28:40,580 --> 01:28:41,580 You know? 1230 01:28:41,580 --> 01:28:42,580 Here. 1231 01:28:42,580 --> 01:28:45,580 That morphs these together to create an instrument for you. 1232 01:28:45,580 --> 01:28:47,580 So we're building our instrument right now. 1233 01:28:48,580 --> 01:28:54,580 And we even considered shipping this product with headphones because we think kids are going to play with this an awful lot. 1234 01:28:54,580 --> 01:28:55,580 But you can build an instrument. 1235 01:28:55,580 --> 01:28:56,580 Mm-hmm. 1236 01:28:56,580 --> 01:28:59,580 And now you're able to hear what that instrument sounds like. 1237 01:28:59,580 --> 01:29:03,580 And if you really want to drive mom and dad crazy, let's play a little song with it. 1238 01:29:03,580 --> 01:29:04,580 That is really cool. 1239 01:29:04,580 --> 01:29:05,580 It's a lot of fun there. 1240 01:29:05,580 --> 01:29:06,580 Over 40 pages of activity. 1241 01:29:06,580 --> 01:29:07,580 Absolute dog shit. 1242 01:29:07,580 --> 01:29:09,580 Pure dog shit technology. 1243 01:29:09,580 --> 01:29:11,580 And I think that Stu knows that. 1244 01:29:11,580 --> 01:29:15,580 We're not even getting any shots of Stu's face. 1245 01:29:16,580 --> 01:29:23,580 Which suggests to me that he's not even making any effort to, you know, to big this product up. 1246 01:29:23,580 --> 01:29:25,580 Probably a face of contempt. 1247 01:29:25,580 --> 01:29:26,580 And the director has gone. 1248 01:29:26,580 --> 01:29:27,580 Do you know what? 1249 01:29:27,580 --> 01:29:29,580 Let's not cut to Stu here. 1250 01:29:29,580 --> 01:29:30,580 Hacksaw Jim Duggan. 1251 01:29:30,580 --> 01:29:31,580 Thank you very much. 1252 01:29:31,580 --> 01:29:33,580 You're on the nitro surge watching this. 1253 01:29:33,580 --> 01:29:34,580 Have a good one. 1254 01:29:34,580 --> 01:29:35,580 Thanks very much. 1255 01:29:35,580 --> 01:29:36,580 That's very kind of you. 1256 01:29:36,580 --> 01:29:37,580 And it comes for... 1257 01:29:37,580 --> 01:29:39,580 Yeah, I can see Stu there. 1258 01:29:39,580 --> 01:29:41,580 These stupid sounds are playing. 1259 01:29:43,580 --> 01:29:47,580 Stu's really not really fucking reciprocating any sort of vibes here from Heidi. 1260 01:29:48,580 --> 01:29:52,580 And I feel sorry for Heidi as well because she looks a lot more professional. 1261 01:29:52,580 --> 01:29:55,580 I'm above and beyond this, you know? 1262 01:29:57,580 --> 01:30:03,580 I mean, that's a lady there who's been in the biz for quite some time or, you know, a few years at least. 1263 01:30:04,580 --> 01:30:08,580 I feel bad that this is what she's having to fucking sell to Stu. 1264 01:30:08,580 --> 01:30:10,580 And Stu ain't buying that. 1265 01:30:10,580 --> 01:30:12,580 He ain't buying that stuff. 1266 01:30:12,580 --> 01:30:16,580 Let's see if he gives a kind of cool, really cool stuff at the end. 1267 01:30:16,580 --> 01:30:18,580 He might redeem it. 1268 01:30:18,580 --> 01:30:21,580 It comes for either Windows or Macintosh. 1269 01:30:21,580 --> 01:30:23,580 So it's a hybrid CD you can play on either system. 1270 01:30:23,580 --> 01:30:24,580 Well, it's cool about this. 1271 01:30:24,580 --> 01:30:25,580 It also comes in different languages, doesn't it? 1272 01:30:25,580 --> 01:30:26,580 It does. 1273 01:30:26,580 --> 01:30:32,580 One of the fascinating things about this is it is fully localized into French, Spanish and German as well as English. 1274 01:30:32,580 --> 01:30:34,580 And that's all available on the same CD. 1275 01:30:34,580 --> 01:30:35,580 And Spanish? 1276 01:30:35,580 --> 01:30:36,580 Uh-huh. 1277 01:30:36,580 --> 01:30:37,580 Absolutely. 1278 01:30:37,580 --> 01:30:38,580 Okay, that's great. 1279 01:30:38,580 --> 01:30:39,580 What's that about? 1280 01:30:39,580 --> 01:30:40,580 And then when he puts his hand down to the screen. 1281 01:30:40,580 --> 01:30:41,580 Why did he say that? 1282 01:30:41,580 --> 01:30:42,580 Why did he say that? 1283 01:30:42,580 --> 01:30:43,580 She said Spanish, German. 1284 01:30:43,580 --> 01:30:44,580 And why did he make point of the Spanish then? 1285 01:30:44,580 --> 01:30:49,580 Is fully localized into French, Spanish and German as well as English. 1286 01:30:49,580 --> 01:30:54,580 French, Spanish and German as well as English. 1287 01:30:54,580 --> 01:30:58,580 And then Stu's like, and Spanish. 1288 01:30:58,580 --> 01:30:59,580 Right. 1289 01:30:59,580 --> 01:31:00,580 And that's all available on the same CD. 1290 01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:01,580 And Spanish? 1291 01:31:01,580 --> 01:31:02,580 Uh-huh. 1292 01:31:02,580 --> 01:31:03,580 Absolutely. 1293 01:31:03,580 --> 01:31:04,580 What's that about? 1294 01:31:04,580 --> 01:31:10,580 And then when he puts his hand down, he accidentally hits the box there as well. 1295 01:31:10,580 --> 01:31:11,580 See that again? 1296 01:31:11,580 --> 01:31:12,580 German as well as English. 1297 01:31:12,580 --> 01:31:13,580 And that's all available on the same CD. 1298 01:31:13,580 --> 01:31:14,580 And Spanish? 1299 01:31:14,580 --> 01:31:15,580 Uh-huh. 1300 01:31:15,580 --> 01:31:16,580 Absolutely. 1301 01:31:16,580 --> 01:31:17,580 Absolutely. 1302 01:31:17,580 --> 01:31:18,580 That's great. 1303 01:31:18,580 --> 01:31:19,580 Are you going to load up Professor Iris for us? 1304 01:31:19,580 --> 01:31:21,580 And I want to show a couple other things while we're waiting for that. 1305 01:31:21,580 --> 01:31:24,580 Professor Iris is being loaded up on the screen. 1306 01:31:24,580 --> 01:31:29,580 And because it's so slow, Stu's going to show us some extra bits while she's loading that piece up. 1307 01:31:29,580 --> 01:31:32,580 I would just show on a keyboard before for grown-ups who have carpal tunnel patterns. 1308 01:31:32,580 --> 01:31:37,580 And I'm going to show you some extra bits while she's loading that piece up. 1309 01:31:37,580 --> 01:31:41,580 I would just show on a keyboard before for grown-ups who have carpal tunnel patterns. 1310 01:31:41,580 --> 01:31:43,580 And all the rest of that stuff at work. 1311 01:31:43,580 --> 01:31:44,580 Jesus Christ. 1312 01:31:44,580 --> 01:31:45,580 This is a keyboard for kids. 1313 01:31:45,580 --> 01:31:48,580 If you're getting into kids software and you've got a really little kid. 1314 01:31:48,580 --> 01:31:53,580 If you're getting into kids software and you've got a little kid or you've got carpal tunnel, 1315 01:31:53,580 --> 01:31:55,580 this is your baby. 1316 01:31:55,580 --> 01:31:56,580 This is your behemoth. 1317 01:31:56,580 --> 01:31:58,580 This is what you're going to be rocking. 1318 01:31:58,580 --> 01:32:02,580 You can bring this into the office to work, to the desk. 1319 01:32:02,580 --> 01:32:06,580 It's your secret little power board. 1320 01:32:06,580 --> 01:32:09,580 It's great for the heart of seeing. 1321 01:32:09,580 --> 01:32:11,580 And probably the heart of hearing. 1322 01:32:11,580 --> 01:32:16,580 I can imagine those things having a real clunky sound to them. 1323 01:32:16,580 --> 01:32:22,580 None other than kid keys. 1324 01:32:22,580 --> 01:32:25,580 Tiny fingers can't deal with a regular keyboard. 1325 01:32:25,580 --> 01:32:26,580 This is just wonderful. 1326 01:32:26,580 --> 01:32:27,580 The kids keys keyboard. 1327 01:32:27,580 --> 01:32:29,580 You can see it's all color coded. 1328 01:32:29,580 --> 01:32:31,580 Big letters for those tiny fingers. 1329 01:32:31,580 --> 01:32:32,580 Gigantic enter key. 1330 01:32:32,580 --> 01:32:33,580 Nice. 1331 01:32:33,580 --> 01:32:36,580 Gigantic enter key. 1332 01:32:36,580 --> 01:32:37,580 Check that out man. 1333 01:32:37,580 --> 01:32:38,580 Fucking entropy. 1334 01:32:38,580 --> 01:32:40,580 You can see it's all color coded. 1335 01:32:40,580 --> 01:32:42,580 Big letters for those tiny fingers. 1336 01:32:42,580 --> 01:32:43,580 Gigantic enter key. 1337 01:32:43,580 --> 01:32:45,580 Nice easy cursor keys over here. 1338 01:32:45,580 --> 01:32:47,580 Plus it has all our adult keys over here. 1339 01:32:47,580 --> 01:32:48,580 Alt control. 1340 01:32:48,580 --> 01:32:54,580 Fucking adult buttons then for the fucking adult material that you be doing. 1341 01:32:54,580 --> 01:32:56,580 Control, delete, etc. 1342 01:32:56,580 --> 01:33:00,580 If we have to go in and fix up what the kids are doing on the computer. 1343 01:33:00,580 --> 01:33:02,580 Really nice for young kids, say five years and younger. 1344 01:33:02,580 --> 01:33:04,580 The kids keys keyboard. 1345 01:33:04,580 --> 01:33:07,580 Couple other quick things while Heidi is still loading. 1346 01:33:07,580 --> 01:33:08,580 Two. 1347 01:33:08,580 --> 01:33:09,580 Quick thees. 1348 01:33:09,580 --> 01:33:11,580 The kids keys keyboard. 1349 01:33:11,580 --> 01:33:14,580 Couple other quick things while Heidi is still loading. 1350 01:33:14,580 --> 01:33:15,580 Two of my favorite. 1351 01:33:15,580 --> 01:33:18,580 All the while badge is still in the background. 1352 01:33:18,580 --> 01:33:20,580 Couple other quick things while. 1353 01:33:20,580 --> 01:33:22,580 Look at the badge man. 1354 01:33:22,580 --> 01:33:23,580 He's still there. 1355 01:33:23,580 --> 01:33:25,580 What the ass? 1356 01:33:25,580 --> 01:33:26,580 The badge man. 1357 01:33:26,580 --> 01:33:40,580 The man who stood in the background even after he'd done his piece to camera. 1358 01:33:40,580 --> 01:33:42,580 Why was he still there? 1359 01:33:42,580 --> 01:33:43,580 What was he doing? 1360 01:33:43,580 --> 01:33:47,580 Find out tonight at 9 on 4. 1361 01:33:47,580 --> 01:33:50,580 Badge your old bust. 1362 01:33:50,580 --> 01:33:52,580 Tonight at 9 on dispatches. 1363 01:33:52,580 --> 01:33:57,580 While Heidi is still loading. 1364 01:33:57,580 --> 01:34:00,580 Two of my favorites are the holiday gift ideas. 1365 01:34:00,580 --> 01:34:01,580 Sports Jeopardy. 1366 01:34:01,580 --> 01:34:02,580 Really a lot of fun. 1367 01:34:02,580 --> 01:34:04,580 If you ever watch Jeopardy or Jeopardy on TV. 1368 01:34:04,580 --> 01:34:05,580 This is interactive Jeopardy. 1369 01:34:05,580 --> 01:34:10,580 I wasn't really a big TV fan of it, but when you play it, it's a lot of fun around the house. 1370 01:34:10,580 --> 01:34:13,580 Finally, one of the neatest games I've discovered, which is glider. 1371 01:34:13,580 --> 01:34:15,580 I don't know if you ever played this before. 1372 01:34:15,580 --> 01:34:16,580 Primarily on the Macintosh. 1373 01:34:16,580 --> 01:34:18,580 This is the newest version, Glider Pro. 1374 01:34:18,580 --> 01:34:21,580 You take a paper airplane and have to fly it to the top. 1375 01:34:21,580 --> 01:34:25,580 You take a paper airplane and have to fly it through a house using the air coming up from the vents in the house. 1376 01:34:25,580 --> 01:34:28,580 Any kid is absolutely going to be enwrapped by this game. 1377 01:34:28,580 --> 01:34:30,580 I promise you, I've been through it. 1378 01:34:30,580 --> 01:34:31,580 Never heard about it, Stu. 1379 01:34:31,580 --> 01:34:33,580 Never heard of that game. 1380 01:34:33,580 --> 01:34:37,580 Let's see if it even exists nowadays, Stu. 1381 01:34:37,580 --> 01:34:38,580 Glider Pro. 1382 01:34:38,580 --> 01:34:40,580 Let's have a look at that. 1383 01:34:40,580 --> 01:34:41,580 Glider Pro. 1384 01:34:41,580 --> 01:34:42,580 Game. 1385 01:34:42,580 --> 01:34:43,580 Here we go. 1386 01:34:43,580 --> 01:34:43,580 Here we go. 1387 01:34:43,580 --> 01:34:44,580 We're going to see it. 1388 01:34:44,580 --> 01:34:45,580 This is what Stu. 1389 01:34:45,580 --> 01:34:52,580 Let's just see here again what he says about it and then we'll see what he's saying about it. 1390 01:34:52,580 --> 01:34:58,580 Take a paper airplane and have to fly it through a house using the air coming up from the vents in the house. 1391 01:34:58,580 --> 01:35:01,580 Any kid is absolutely going to be enwrapped by this game. 1392 01:35:01,580 --> 01:35:03,580 I promise you, I've been through it. 1393 01:35:03,580 --> 01:35:06,580 Any kid, he's been through it. 1394 01:35:06,580 --> 01:35:10,580 Take a paper airplane, fly through the vents in the house. 1395 01:35:10,580 --> 01:35:12,580 Let's see what this game is like. 1396 01:35:12,580 --> 01:35:13,580 Could be good. 1397 01:35:13,580 --> 01:35:14,580 Could be amazing. 1398 01:35:14,580 --> 01:35:21,580 It could be hot and deep. 1399 01:35:21,580 --> 01:35:23,580 It's hot and fast and deep. 1400 01:35:27,580 --> 01:35:28,580 Wow. 1401 01:35:28,580 --> 01:35:31,580 We're getting the full read me screenshots. 1402 01:35:31,580 --> 01:35:33,580 Let's just get into the game. 1403 01:35:33,580 --> 01:35:34,580 Oh, wow. 1404 01:35:34,580 --> 01:35:35,580 Check this out. 1405 01:35:35,580 --> 01:35:37,580 It's fucking sensual. 1406 01:35:37,580 --> 01:35:38,580 Lovely bit of MIDI. 1407 01:35:38,580 --> 01:36:08,400 KICK ASS! KICK ASS soundtrack for Glider Pro! KICK ASS soundtrack what do you know? 1408 01:36:08,400 --> 01:36:19,400 It's Glider Pro! It's Glider Pro! I'll go back to that again man, I was fucking loving that shit! 1409 01:36:23,400 --> 01:36:37,400 Get ready for a... ready for a banger, banger's a match tonight! A banger, Glider Pro! A paper, a plane, Glider Pro! 1410 01:36:37,400 --> 01:37:01,400 Glider Pro! It's flying that big, Glider Pro! He's going up into the clouds tonight! The clouds tonight! Lovely aeroplane flying through air! It's going up in the sky, it don't care! Don't save, exit, quit the game, it's shit! 1411 01:37:01,400 --> 01:37:13,400 All right, what do you have Heidi? Great! What I'm going to show you now is the first in a series from the Professor Iris series, which is a very popular television show on the Learning Channel. 1412 01:37:13,400 --> 01:37:33,400 Uh-huh! And Professor Iris is again also for the early learning crowd, the kids who may not be able to read yet, may not be comfortable with a keyboard, and they certainly aren't allowed to use the phone to call for tech support. So it's really got to be something that can run easily. And what Professor Iris has is a number of different activities that teaches children about Africa. 1413 01:37:33,400 --> 01:37:40,400 Professor Iris is after you. And this time, he wants to tell you about Africa. 1414 01:37:40,400 --> 01:37:45,400 We're going to go into the series right now. We're starting up on television. You can tell it's from a television show. 1415 01:37:45,400 --> 01:37:53,400 So what's cool is the kids can actually watch the series on TV and when that's done, go over to their Mac or their PC and then sort of take control and continue to have the same experience. 1416 01:37:53,400 --> 01:38:00,400 And it's all the same characters that they're used to seeing on the TV show. It's got a number of different segments to it. I'm going to skip the introduction. 1417 01:38:00,400 --> 01:38:09,400 One of the things I think is important to look for in children's software is that there is an introduction that takes children through the program, shows them how to use it because of course they're not able to read. 1418 01:38:09,400 --> 01:38:18,400 They can't go to the manual to figure out how to use it. Right. As you see here on the front page, it's a reading page. Rubbish. And it can read to us or let's skip to the index. 1419 01:38:18,400 --> 01:38:27,400 Looks rubbish. I think this gives you a good overview of it. Looks terrible. There are ten different game pages, all sorts of things like tic-tac-toes and match-ups. 1420 01:38:27,400 --> 01:38:34,400 Tic-tac-toe. I wouldn't even play that. Why are you putting that into a game? You can play that in real life on a piece of paper. You know? 1421 01:38:34,400 --> 01:38:44,400 Rock videos for the kids set. So let's look at one of these. Just great stuff for kids now. It's a wonderful time to be three years old or four years old or whatever. Yeah, it sure is. It sure is. You just have to send mom to the store a lot. 1422 01:38:44,400 --> 01:38:59,400 Get ready for a music video. And that is what we're fucking up against, people. That is what we're up against. You thought that fucking life was gonna get easier. It's not. 1423 01:38:59,400 --> 01:39:26,400 Tonight's at nine on four. Sheep games for the PC. A piano with a face. Oddly terrifying toys. A scare at bedtime. The nightmare before Christmas. 1424 01:39:26,400 --> 01:39:53,400 The nightmare before Christmas. Little piano man. Tonight's on four. So that's Piano, one of the characters of the show. And now we pull down a video screen. And off we go. Oh, that's cool. Christ. Christ. 1425 01:39:53,400 --> 01:40:00,400 Okay, Professor Iris, Animal Safari. Alright, one problem with- 1426 01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:14,400 Ah ha! Stu doesn't have any time for it. Stu had no time for the game. Alright, great. Professor Safari. Alright, next. And off we go. Oh, that's cool. 1427 01:40:14,400 --> 01:40:24,280 I've noticed a trend on the computer chronicles when somebody shows a piece of software that has 1428 01:40:24,280 --> 01:40:29,880 zany sounds and stuff like that. Stu's fucking out of there. There's no time for them. 1429 01:40:30,660 --> 01:40:34,300 He heard he got one here that one listen to that fucking elephants. 1430 01:40:34,960 --> 01:40:39,840 What would you call an elephant's roar or what? And he was fucking gonzo. 1431 01:40:39,840 --> 01:40:43,440 And off we go. 1432 01:40:43,440 --> 01:40:45,640 Oh, that's cool. 1433 01:40:46,820 --> 01:40:48,080 Oh, that's cool. 1434 01:40:54,660 --> 01:40:56,680 Okay, Professor Iris, animals. 1435 01:40:57,260 --> 01:40:59,660 They were going to start singing a song and everything. 1436 01:41:00,280 --> 01:41:02,960 Didn't she wasn't. You could see the song was coming. 1437 01:41:03,100 --> 01:41:03,660 I was like, fuck that. 1438 01:41:03,660 --> 01:41:08,740 Sorry. All right. One problem with buying computer software is you're never sure you're really going to. 1439 01:41:08,740 --> 01:41:09,040 Sorry. 1440 01:41:11,600 --> 01:41:28,420 Okay, Professor Iris, animal safari. All right. One problem with buying computer software is you're never sure you're really going to like it or maybe if your kids are going to like it. And it's hard to return software once you've used it. One good alternative is a computer store which will rent software to you. We found one. 1441 01:41:28,920 --> 01:41:33,460 Computer Spectrum is a computer store just outside of San Francisco. 1442 01:41:33,460 --> 01:41:39,320 Thank you very much, Currywurst O'Hurley and Sergeant Derek Spain. 1443 01:41:39,320 --> 01:41:46,320 Check out that shirt. It's unbelievable. 1444 01:41:46,320 --> 01:42:13,480 Thank you very much there, BiPath, for the tip. Very, very kind of your BiPath. 1445 01:42:13,480 --> 01:42:18,940 ...competitors nearby. Part of the company's successful formula is a CD-ROM rental business. 1446 01:42:18,940 --> 01:42:22,840 As a small star, we have to do something fairly unique to compete with the larger stores. 1447 01:42:22,840 --> 01:42:30,140 Gary Das is after you. It's fucking sensational as well. It's a lovely piece of pudding. 1448 01:42:30,140 --> 01:42:40,640 Tonight at nine on Dispatches, he was the man who made a computer spectrum shine 1449 01:42:40,640 --> 01:42:52,100 like a rainbow of technological wonderment. The name, Gary. The surname, DOS. Disk operating system system. 1450 01:42:52,100 --> 01:42:58,100 A wonderful piece of pudding. A beautiful face. A man. On a mission. To make technology sing. DOS boot. Tonight at nine. 1451 01:42:58,100 --> 01:43:12,100 beautiful face a man on a mission to make technology sing dos boot tonight at 9:00 on dispatches 1452 01:43:14,820 --> 01:43:18,660 we do have as a small store we have better customer service we're more one-on-one with 1453 01:43:18,660 --> 01:43:25,700 the client that only goes so far so to add to that we've established a new system of renting 1454 01:43:25,700 --> 01:43:31,540 cd-rom titles we we sell them and rent them and it's just like a video store you go in with a with 1455 01:43:31,540 --> 01:43:36,580 a card that you've already signed up and they rent for three dollars and 99 cents for three nights 1456 01:43:37,460 --> 01:43:42,900 it's been very popular with the distributors as well because it adds to the selling of the titles 1457 01:43:42,900 --> 01:43:47,540 it's kind of a try before you buy philosophy if you go in and you can try it for three nights 1458 01:43:48,580 --> 01:43:52,820 i'd say about a quarter of the time they'll come back and actually purchase the title while computer 1459 01:43:52,820 --> 01:43:58,100 spectrum has made cd-rom rentals into a routine part of their business the concept is still new to a lot 1460 01:43:58,100 --> 01:44:03,940 of smaller publishers of cd titles in some cases the retailer has to educate his suppliers in the 1461 01:44:03,940 --> 01:44:14,180 subtleties of copyright law in 1990 congress passed the software rental software rental act and you cannot 1462 01:44:14,180 --> 01:44:20,180 rent software legally except if you have the copyright holders permission and so that's what we have to do 1463 01:44:20,180 --> 01:44:26,020 our distributors have gone and got permission or we individually have gotten permission from each 1464 01:44:26,020 --> 01:44:32,740 individual manufacturer and to rent them proof that cd publishers are catching on to the idea can be seen 1465 01:44:32,740 --> 01:44:38,500 in the store's wall decorations almost all the discs have labels offering them for rent and software ads 1466 01:44:38,500 --> 01:44:46,660 are beginning to look more and more your old lady see the picture of your old lady in the computer shop the last day man 1467 01:44:47,940 --> 01:44:52,660 partly she's in a game called lands of lore the throne of chaos 1468 01:44:57,860 --> 01:45:07,380 tonight at nine on dispatches your mother in a video game called lands of lore the throne of chaos 1469 01:45:12,260 --> 01:45:18,100 what must you think when you watch the documentary about the fact that your mother was in a game called 1470 01:45:18,100 --> 01:45:20,740 lands of lore there she is 1471 01:45:28,100 --> 01:45:35,700 the only message that isn't your mother just to clarify that's not your mother didn't want to 1472 01:45:35,700 --> 01:45:40,500 fucking piss anyone off there in case you got pissed off that i said that that was your mother sorry about 1473 01:45:40,500 --> 01:45:47,540 that movie posters for the computer chronicle this guy can't he can't fucking decide what he wants here 1474 01:45:47,540 --> 01:46:07,460 ads are beginning to look now renting now renting more and more like movie posters for the computer chronicles i'm giles bateman 1475 01:46:12,420 --> 01:46:16,340 all right we're back with paul schindler of windows magazine and lots of neat things you're going to show 1476 01:46:16,340 --> 01:46:20,020 us and what are you going to start with paul well i'm going to start with a fucking beautiful man 1477 01:46:25,940 --> 01:46:31,220 with espresso that comes from berkeley systems are the same people who start with paul well i'm going to start with 1478 01:46:31,220 --> 01:46:37,540 expresso that comes from berkeley systems are the same people who do the after dark screensavers now oh god 1479 01:46:38,260 --> 01:46:45,140 how many more after dark screensaver clones are we going to see man thanks very much for the tip there you're 1480 01:46:45,140 --> 01:46:51,540 filthy very very kind of you this is a clever calendar idea it makes a calendar out of your wallpaper so you 1481 01:46:51,540 --> 01:46:57,060 can get a weekly view and a monthly view there's all kinds it's it's one of the cleverest calendar ideas 1482 01:46:57,060 --> 01:47:04,660 there's so many calendars this is a clever idea okay smart idea i'm interested in my family tree genealogy so i 1483 01:47:04,660 --> 01:47:10,580 use family tree maker from banner blue i've got my whole family in it it's very easy to enter information and 1484 01:47:10,580 --> 01:47:16,900 trivial to get it out you can get an ancestor tree if i wanted to know hobbs relation to my daughters 1485 01:47:16,900 --> 01:47:21,940 all i have to do is punch relationship and it tells me what it is it also can exchange information with 1486 01:47:21,940 --> 01:47:27,700 jedcom which is the format established by the moment mormon church and used by most genealogical organizations 1487 01:47:27,700 --> 01:47:33,140 terrific package finally there's gift maker i guess i wouldn't be showing if it wasn't terrific would i 1488 01:47:33,140 --> 01:47:38,660 gift maker comes from maxis in orinda california and it's another neat idea now what they've done is 1489 01:47:38,660 --> 01:47:46,020 neat idea here it's gift maker the easiest way to create your own personalized gifts and merchandise 1490 01:47:46,740 --> 01:47:53,460 you've got a lovely little bear there is a lovely little bear and he's wearing a shirt that says 1491 01:47:53,460 --> 01:47:59,860 gifts on the front see you made a lovely little mug there with a picture of your child on it man 1492 01:48:01,140 --> 01:48:08,100 seen you made a fucking toy clock there picture of a race car on it that said go fast who are you giving 1493 01:48:08,100 --> 01:48:14,260 that to men they've given you a drawing program with all sorts of special effects and you can 1494 01:48:14,260 --> 01:48:23,380 customize a mug a clock a chair then you take the floppy disk results you mail them to the vendor with 1495 01:48:23,380 --> 01:48:30,980 some money or a credit card and you get back a personalized floppy disk uh a canvas chair a baseball hat 1496 01:48:30,980 --> 01:48:36,820 so it's a it's a it's a gift personalizer where you can do what's on the pc now this is monty python's 1497 01:48:37,540 --> 01:48:42,260 a waste of time and terry gilliam's animation was always one of my favorite parts of monty python 1498 01:48:42,900 --> 01:48:48,660 notice now that the cursor uh is being followed by the eyes of the policeman and when i click on the 1499 01:48:48,660 --> 01:48:56,340 policeman's eye uh it falls out i mean this is this is just this is python at its best uh it's a it's a 1500 01:48:56,340 --> 01:49:01,860 tremendous program and finally i want to show uh at after dark screensaver the simpsons is my 1501 01:49:01,860 --> 01:49:14,340 my python at its best this program and finally i want to show uh at after dark screensaver the simpsons 1502 01:49:14,340 --> 01:49:19,620 is my favorite television program we're going to look at an itchy and scratchy screensaver first there's 1503 01:49:19,620 --> 01:49:26,100 lots of different screensavers so you see the cat and the mouse appear from behind uh actual program 1504 01:49:26,100 --> 01:49:32,260 groups from your program manager uh it's it's just another example uh you know companies that come up 1505 01:49:32,260 --> 01:49:38,260 with one good idea seem to keep coming up with other good ideas but the last part of this demo i'm going to 1506 01:49:38,260 --> 01:49:44,260 show you the homer eats screensaver now what that features is homer simpson coming in on the lower right 1507 01:49:44,260 --> 01:49:49,700 here and he actually eats the screen whatever was on your screen the last time marge has just dropped off a 1508 01:49:49,700 --> 01:49:54,500 set of pork rinds on the screen when homer gets to those he'll eat them if she drops off tofu or 1509 01:49:54,500 --> 01:50:01,380 vegetables or something he'll he'll spit that back out so that's the simpsons uh screensaver from uh after 1510 01:50:01,380 --> 01:50:07,860 berkeley systems the the after dark people and uh let's see i think you have speaking of television well 1511 01:50:07,860 --> 01:50:12,660 if you like the simpsons and you like monty python that means i guess you might want to watch tv i've got 1512 01:50:12,660 --> 01:50:18,740 something here in which you double click in windows and you can watch tv this is a real window running 1513 01:50:18,740 --> 01:50:23,860 inside windows i can make it larger do anything i want with it i can change channels right on the 1514 01:50:23,860 --> 01:50:30,900 screen i have all my controls here uh watch a movie a football game or whatever else we can find on here 1515 01:50:30,900 --> 01:50:36,500 what's neat on here actually i can grab a still if i like it and save it and actually store it as a file 1516 01:50:36,500 --> 01:50:41,460 on my hard drive uh go back here all the controls are here in software i can actually go to full screen 1517 01:50:41,460 --> 01:50:46,180 if i want and watch like a real tv i can even get rid of everything in here and you can see i've got all my 1518 01:50:46,180 --> 01:50:54,420 video controls etc etc a great program and i want to shut it down here so we don't hear all this noise 1519 01:50:54,420 --> 01:50:58,420 while i show you the rest of what i want to show you which is a couple other things for kids two neat 1520 01:50:58,420 --> 01:51:04,740 things uh putt putt goes to the moon where's putt putt there he is this is guaranteed great game for kids 1521 01:51:04,740 --> 01:51:10,340 incredible animation an interactive tv cartoon absolutely haven't seen a kid yet that doesn't love 1522 01:51:10,340 --> 01:51:15,860 it real quick also for kids what would you do at home this is really important teaches kids what to 1523 01:51:15,860 --> 01:51:20,500 do in an emergency at home when the parents aren't there uh there's a fire there's a there's an offensive 1524 01:51:20,500 --> 01:51:25,380 phone call there's a knock at the door uh you forgot your key and you're locked out when you come home 1525 01:51:25,380 --> 01:51:29,780 from school a wonderful program for kids what would you do at home you have one more thing to show us paul 1526 01:51:29,780 --> 01:51:34,500 very quickly now this looks to the naked eye just like a three and a half inch floppy drive it's the 1527 01:51:34,500 --> 01:51:40,100 white right height and the right width but it turns out it's it is a three and a half inch floppy drive 1528 01:51:40,100 --> 01:51:47,700 but it's a very tiny one the tiniest one on the market combined with two pcm cia card slots so the 1529 01:51:47,700 --> 01:51:52,180 same card that provides you extra memory and disk space on your portable can be used in your desktop 1530 01:51:52,180 --> 01:51:59,140 this is to be inserted into the three and a half inch disc drive bay of your desktop unit 280 and steward 1531 01:51:59,140 --> 01:52:03,700 it's so simple that i can do it oh my god it's really simple oh all right paul lots of neat stuff 1532 01:52:03,700 --> 01:52:07,540 thank you very much and we're going to go back to tim behar and you got a couple more goodies to show us 1533 01:52:07,540 --> 01:52:12,180 to right a couple things first of all if you bought a multimedia pc for the home with a cd-rom drive 1534 01:52:12,180 --> 01:52:17,380 under windows you really need to look at the cd essentials from phoenix technologies and their subsidiary 1535 01:52:17,380 --> 01:52:23,700 eclipse this is a great little product that manages thank you very much spice man girl and hard drive life 1536 01:52:23,700 --> 01:52:28,820 and you don't know my mother thank you very much is how you play access and deal with 1537 01:52:28,820 --> 01:52:33,700 cd-roms no more of this uh having to type in setup and all of this it takes care of that for you 1538 01:52:33,700 --> 01:52:39,940 really good the other product is the greatest air paper airplanes you know this is a fun product to play with 1539 01:52:41,140 --> 01:52:46,180 more paper airplanes after the last shenanigans that we saw 1540 01:52:49,380 --> 01:52:54,580 clutching of paper straws man and more importantly it's hard to understand how you make the folds without 1541 01:52:54,580 --> 01:52:58,500 some kind of animation etc this shows you how to do the folds 1542 01:52:58,500 --> 01:53:02,500 runs through a little movie and it even shows you how it flies so it's a good little product just on 1543 01:53:02,500 --> 01:53:06,660 the market the greatest paper airplane great for kids or grown-up guys that's right i played with it 1544 01:53:10,580 --> 01:53:13,620 great for kids or grown-up guys 1545 01:53:15,780 --> 01:53:21,380 i've played with it the other product is something from microsoft called magic school bus now this is a 1546 01:53:21,380 --> 01:53:27,460 part of the pbs special that is done on saturday mornings for kids and it takes the concept of a magic school 1547 01:53:27,460 --> 01:53:32,500 bus and kids jump on the magic school bus and go and explore this particular one explores the human 1548 01:53:32,500 --> 01:53:37,540 body all right we're going to take we're going to take us to start with into the human uh stomach great 1549 01:53:37,540 --> 01:53:42,820 we're going to look in great inside and the idea is to be able to go inside the stomach as you're as if 1550 01:53:42,820 --> 01:53:48,100 you're on the magic bus and explore so what we're going to do is we're going to do normal things like 1551 01:53:48,740 --> 01:53:52,580 we're going to put the acid into the stomach and see what the digestive juices are like 1552 01:53:52,580 --> 01:53:58,900 then we're going to go grab in this case um a hamburger and put it down and we'll see it 1553 01:53:59,460 --> 01:54:04,820 basically being dissolved in the juices and then little kids must just love the grossness the grosser the 1554 01:54:04,820 --> 01:54:12,500 better they tell me and then we can see the entire digestion process um the next this first one is on the human body 1555 01:54:12,500 --> 01:54:18,020 the next one will be on space exploration and then the third one is on exploring the earth but a good 1556 01:54:18,020 --> 01:54:21,700 new teaching tool called magic bus that's really great a couple more things i want to show before we 1557 01:54:21,700 --> 01:54:25,700 get out of here if you've got kids or friends that are really into art this is a wonderful 1558 01:54:26,500 --> 01:54:30,900 kids or friends that are into our bundle that's out there you may know about dabbler which is the how 1559 01:54:30,900 --> 01:54:39,620 to draw program uh right it's a draw see the clunky uh awkward full bundle that's out there you may know 1560 01:54:39,620 --> 01:54:45,300 about dabbler with wires and all that kind of all over the place how to draw program uh right it's a 1561 01:54:45,300 --> 01:54:49,940 drawing program and it teaches you how to draw again with animations it's fantastic it's coming bundled now 1562 01:54:49,940 --> 01:54:55,780 with this new mini wacom drawing tablet and pen so the kid can really draw for real it's not playing around 1563 01:54:55,780 --> 01:55:02,980 with a mouse and pretending you the kid the kid can really draw for real drawing tablet and pen so 1564 01:55:02,980 --> 01:55:06,820 the kid can really draw for real it's not playing around with a mouse and pretending you have a brush 1565 01:55:06,820 --> 01:55:12,740 you really do have a brush in your hand it's a wonderful package dabbler and the wacom tablet yes it really is 1566 01:55:13,300 --> 01:55:21,140 all right this looks very boring i know but this is really a neat thing to have these are these two cds have all the 1567 01:55:21,140 --> 01:55:25,060 residential phone books in the united states on 80 000 phone books here amazing and if you're 1568 01:55:25,060 --> 01:55:29,700 amazing and if you want to go find some old college buddy find a friend find a lost relative or 1569 01:55:29,700 --> 01:55:34,740 something it's fantastic you can look at any single phone book search the entire country's database of 1570 01:55:34,740 --> 01:55:39,060 phone books with a great engine in here it's really terrific if you're looking for a business you can't 1571 01:55:39,060 --> 01:55:43,780 find and i might mention we found one of the businesses we're looking for in this show on this disc 1572 01:55:43,780 --> 01:55:48,660 all the business listings throughout the entire united states on one cd-rom may not be fun but it's a 1573 01:55:48,660 --> 01:55:54,340 terrific thing to have around it comes from digital directory assistance inc simpler time for stalkers 1574 01:55:54,340 --> 01:56:01,220 stalkers one or two more quick little things i want to show you this guy over 1575 01:56:01,940 --> 01:56:08,820 uh spanners is it i see yeah that we've got a person called big chocolate arse jesus christ 1576 01:56:11,460 --> 01:56:18,820 i can't believe that the chat has been brought into disrepute by someone called big chocolate arse francis 1577 01:56:21,460 --> 01:56:29,940 hi do you hopefully that will work i'm not sure if it will i think we have i think i've managed to sort that out 1578 01:56:30,980 --> 01:56:36,740 hopefully that didn't shock anybody there out there in the chat box over here you know in the past 1579 01:56:36,740 --> 01:56:41,700 there's foreign language translation software for the pc or these little cards you could buy that would 1580 01:56:41,700 --> 01:56:46,500 translate words they were really dictionaries electronic dictionaries this is an actual complete 1581 01:56:46,500 --> 01:56:51,460 translation system like the software only in a handheld device we don't have time to actually go through it 1582 01:56:51,460 --> 01:56:55,940 all but i can actually write a sentence in here any sentence i want it will translate this one from 1583 01:56:55,940 --> 01:57:01,140 english to spanish or spanish to english it even comes with a speaker and earphones and a computer voice 1584 01:57:01,140 --> 01:57:05,860 so i can put this put this in the ears of the waiter and say look here's what i want for dinner or whatever 1585 01:57:05,860 --> 01:57:12,260 it happens to be last but not least now tim some people who've been watching this show for a while may 1586 01:57:12,260 --> 01:57:17,940 remember a couple years ago we showed off these computer suspenders all right we had so many calls 1587 01:57:17,940 --> 01:57:21,780 from people who wanted to buy these suspenders and we didn't know where they came from i got them off a 1588 01:57:21,780 --> 01:57:31,380 street vendor in boston the details yeah what did he wear these in an episode before or did someone else 1589 01:57:31,380 --> 01:57:39,620 wear them doesn't seem like a kind of stew fashion piece it's more of a a shindler they're now sold at the 1590 01:57:39,620 --> 01:57:44,740 computer museum gift shop in boston so if you want these great computer suspenders they're really cool 1591 01:57:44,740 --> 01:57:51,060 they come with pictures of floppy disks and pcs on them at the computer museum gift shop in boston i'm 1592 01:57:51,060 --> 01:57:55,300 sure you can call them or write them the computer suspenders thanks so much for all the neat stuff you 1593 01:57:55,300 --> 01:58:00,340 showed us that's all the time we have for our annual consumers buying guide show hope we found something 1594 01:58:00,340 --> 01:58:05,540 that you thought was cool and if it all went by too quickly for you drop us a note on our compu serve 1595 01:58:05,540 --> 01:58:09,540 forum we'll try to answer any questions you have on the stuff we talked about today 1596 01:58:09,540 --> 01:58:15,380 the command is go chronicles thanks for joining us see you here next time on the computer chronicles 1597 01:58:15,380 --> 01:58:24,500 thanks stew computer chronicles is made possible hppcs we're looking at we're looking at technology in a 1598 01:58:24,500 --> 01:58:30,900 brand new light anywhere in the world hppcs you're taking a close look at remote management 1599 01:58:32,820 --> 01:58:38,660 additional funding is provided by laser 1600 01:58:38,660 --> 01:58:43,060 jazz guitar guitar fucking jazz guitar fucking see you here next time on the computer chronicles 1601 01:58:45,780 --> 01:58:58,580 computer chronicles is made possible in part by hewlett-packard developing technology that lets you manage your pc from anywhere on the network anywhere in the world hppcs you're taking a close look at remote management 1602 01:58:58,580 --> 01:59:04,420 additional funding is provided by laser jet printers from dood packard everything 1603 01:59:04,420 --> 01:59:10,260 thank you very much thank you very much dude penders and ryan mcdyer uh i thank you very much you say 1604 01:59:10,260 --> 01:59:22,260 suck it home with the covet covet 19 silly season has cancelled but the streams are going great to help us get through thank you yourself tom and conzo for all the streams and no look on it look we'll see you later i have to 1605 01:59:22,260 --> 01:59:24,340 fuck off because I'm getting 1606 01:59:24,340 --> 01:59:26,520 wrecked. Getting fucking 1607 01:59:26,520 --> 01:59:28,480 wrecked even though I might not look it. 1608 01:59:28,820 --> 01:59:29,380 I feel 1609 01:59:29,380 --> 01:59:32,440 drained from a 1610 01:59:32,440 --> 01:59:34,460 long day. Up since 1611 01:59:34,460 --> 01:59:36,300 six. That's of no 1612 01:59:36,300 --> 01:59:38,260 importance to you. You don't 1613 01:59:38,260 --> 01:59:40,360 care about that. You're 1614 01:59:40,360 --> 01:59:42,340 saying stop talking shite 1615 01:59:42,340 --> 01:59:44,440 and just fucking watch another episode 1616 01:59:44,440 --> 01:59:45,840 you big softy. 1617 01:59:50,380 --> 01:59:52,900 So I will watch another episode. 1618 02:00:00,540 --> 02:00:06,720 I was watching the Watergate affair 1619 02:00:06,720 --> 02:00:08,340 earlier on as well. It's a good documentary. 1620 02:00:08,780 --> 02:00:10,360 Bad. Bad. 1621 02:00:11,280 --> 02:00:12,620 Resolution. Thanks very much 1622 02:00:12,620 --> 02:00:13,780 Steph and Barty. 1623 02:00:14,740 --> 02:00:16,700 But this guy he's like a 1624 02:00:16,700 --> 02:00:17,980 private dick 1625 02:00:17,980 --> 02:00:19,380 that they got in. 1626 02:00:19,380 --> 02:00:22,480 And he's got a great voice. Great accent. 1627 02:00:23,560 --> 02:00:25,060 See if we can get a hold of him here. 1628 02:00:26,760 --> 02:00:27,500 This guy. 1629 02:00:27,540 --> 02:00:29,060 An assignment 1630 02:00:29,060 --> 02:00:32,540 with the President of the United States. 1631 02:00:33,100 --> 02:00:33,740 So for 1632 02:00:33,740 --> 02:00:35,220 political things. 1633 02:00:35,540 --> 02:00:37,520 President of the United States. 1634 02:00:37,860 --> 02:00:39,620 Things for personal things. 1635 02:00:40,080 --> 02:00:41,660 Things that were non-governmental. 1636 02:00:41,820 --> 02:00:44,020 We used Lasowitz and we paid it. 1637 02:00:44,420 --> 02:00:44,600 Mr. 1638 02:00:45,540 --> 02:00:46,180 Lasowitz. 1639 02:00:46,180 --> 02:00:47,360 Slickman said that 1640 02:00:47,360 --> 02:00:49,480 should it be disclosed 1641 02:00:49,480 --> 02:00:50,440 or should it come out 1642 02:00:50,440 --> 02:00:51,920 leak out or whatever 1643 02:00:51,920 --> 02:00:52,900 that I was on 1644 02:00:52,900 --> 02:00:54,700 working for the White House 1645 02:00:54,700 --> 02:00:55,580 it would be denied. 1646 02:00:57,760 --> 02:00:58,200 Anyway. 1647 02:00:59,200 --> 02:01:00,240 More glider pro. 1648 02:01:00,380 --> 02:01:00,840 I'm not sure. 1649 02:01:00,920 --> 02:01:02,400 There's another computer chronicles. 1650 02:01:02,520 --> 02:01:04,400 The digital living room part two. 1651 02:01:04,520 --> 02:01:06,360 We seen part one there last month. 1652 02:01:06,360 --> 02:01:10,040 This is the second part in that chronology. 1653 02:01:10,540 --> 02:01:12,180 From the year 2000. 1654 02:01:12,500 --> 02:01:13,100 It features 1655 02:01:13,100 --> 02:01:15,440 a version of Stuart Chapey 1656 02:01:15,440 --> 02:01:16,180 known as 1657 02:01:16,180 --> 02:01:17,420 Malibu Stu. 1658 02:01:17,680 --> 02:01:19,660 He's very very Malibuistic. 1659 02:01:19,920 --> 02:01:20,320 He's in 1660 02:01:20,320 --> 02:01:23,100 a Californian dreamscape. 1661 02:01:23,320 --> 02:01:24,360 Let's have a look at that. 1662 02:01:28,360 --> 02:01:33,000 Hi and welcome to this special edition of the computer chronicles. 1663 02:01:35,160 --> 02:01:36,960 Don't stop till you feel the burn. 1664 02:01:37,080 --> 02:01:38,780 And when you feel the burn, keep starting. 1665 02:01:39,080 --> 02:01:40,480 Thank you very much Vermanah 1666 02:01:40,480 --> 02:01:42,040 and Chris McBee 1667 02:01:42,040 --> 02:01:43,220 and Conway Twitty. 1668 02:01:43,380 --> 02:01:45,200 Thank you very much there Conway Twitty 1669 02:01:45,200 --> 02:01:45,500 from 1670 02:01:45,500 --> 02:01:47,900 Corko Caffrey and Spearing. 1671 02:01:49,320 --> 02:01:50,460 Hello darling. 1672 02:01:51,140 --> 02:01:52,080 Nice to see you. 1673 02:01:52,700 --> 02:01:55,260 It's been a long time. 1674 02:01:55,400 --> 02:01:56,980 It's still a lovely year. 1675 02:01:56,980 --> 02:01:59,400 We're on location here in Dana Point, California 1676 02:01:59,400 --> 02:02:00,600 just south of Los Angeles 1677 02:02:00,600 --> 02:02:02,420 for the second part of our coverage 1678 02:02:02,420 --> 02:02:04,400 of the digital living room conference. 1679 02:02:04,740 --> 02:02:06,560 We're taking a look at how the digital revolution 1680 02:02:06,560 --> 02:02:08,120 is changing everything we do 1681 02:02:08,120 --> 02:02:11,140 in the home, on the road, even in the air. 1682 02:02:11,440 --> 02:02:13,980 One of the most awesome demonstrations here at the conference 1683 02:02:13,980 --> 02:02:16,260 was something called Connection by Boeing. 1684 02:02:16,920 --> 02:02:20,080 Broadband internet access for airline passengers. 1685 02:02:20,900 --> 02:02:22,480 It used to be that if you were stocking 1686 02:02:22,480 --> 02:02:23,540 Check it out man. 1687 02:02:36,320 --> 02:02:38,060 On the plane. 1688 02:02:39,140 --> 02:02:43,060 He's going surfing internet on the plane. 1689 02:02:46,600 --> 02:02:50,500 He's going to surf the interweb on the plane. 1690 02:02:51,180 --> 02:02:52,980 On an airplane for several hours, 1691 02:02:53,080 --> 02:02:54,120 you were out of touch. 1692 02:02:54,480 --> 02:02:55,900 News with email. 1693 02:02:56,080 --> 02:02:57,720 It's a real airplane everybody. 1694 02:02:57,900 --> 02:02:58,580 Don't doubt it. 1695 02:02:59,180 --> 02:03:00,620 Don't doubt it for a second. 1696 02:03:01,360 --> 02:03:03,060 Sure, look at the windows. 1697 02:03:03,280 --> 02:03:04,640 Look at the clouds outside the windows. 1698 02:03:07,320 --> 02:03:09,640 Thank you very much Jackie and Bermana. 1699 02:03:10,600 --> 02:03:12,100 Unable to access the internet, 1700 02:03:12,640 --> 02:03:14,320 but that is all about to change. 1701 02:03:14,320 --> 02:03:19,080 Connection by Boeing is essentially a two-way broadband service 1702 02:03:19,080 --> 02:03:22,480 to the fleet of world commercial aircraft 1703 02:03:22,480 --> 02:03:23,380 where we are providing... 1704 02:03:25,380 --> 02:03:27,400 Who's she? 1705 02:03:30,220 --> 02:03:33,620 ...connectivity for passengers. 1706 02:03:34,100 --> 02:03:36,380 The connectivity will present it... 1707 02:03:36,380 --> 02:03:40,080 ...providing connectivity for passengers. 1708 02:03:40,080 --> 02:03:45,540 The connectivity will present itself in the form of internet, live TV, and a unique feature we think that is very occasional. 1709 02:03:45,540 --> 02:03:51,000 It caters very well to business travelers and that's the ability to access their corporation's internet account. 1710 02:03:51,000 --> 02:03:56,460 While they're traveling at 39,000 feet. 1711 02:03:56,460 --> 02:03:56,960 Wow. 1712 02:03:56,960 --> 02:03:58,460 Boeing's new in-flight internet service is now available. 1713 02:03:58,460 --> 02:04:03,000 The ability to access their corporation's internet account while they're traveling at 39,000 feet. 1714 02:04:03,000 --> 02:04:11,580 Internet, live TV, and a unique feature we think that caters very well to business travelers, 1715 02:04:11,780 --> 02:04:18,320 and that's the ability to access their corporation's internet account while they're traveling at 39,000 feet. 1716 02:04:18,720 --> 02:04:22,420 Boeing's new in-flight internet service is due to launch late next year. 1717 02:04:22,420 --> 02:04:26,160 It will cost somewhere between $10 and $25 an hour. 1718 02:04:26,720 --> 02:04:27,420 Well, as a business user... 1719 02:04:28,000 --> 02:04:32,460 The badge is back in town. The badge is back in town. 1720 02:04:32,460 --> 02:04:40,100 The badge is back in town. The badge is back in town. 1721 02:04:40,100 --> 02:04:45,940 ...who are sending their people back and forth across country on a continual basis would just assume that they may have productivity. 1722 02:04:45,940 --> 02:04:46,740 Diddy-ddy-ddy. 1723 02:04:46,740 --> 02:04:49,660 At $25 an hour, the corporate labor is probably not expensive at all. 1724 02:04:49,840 --> 02:04:53,100 As a consumer, I'm going to be much more prudent in what I do. 1725 02:04:53,360 --> 02:04:57,800 I may log on, get my email, spend two or three minutes on, get some information, and then log off. 1726 02:04:58,280 --> 02:05:07,920 Logging on to the net while you're in an airplane is probably the ultimate wireless connection, but the idea of staying connected without wires was everywhere here. 1727 02:05:07,920 --> 02:05:19,560 One of the most outspoken proponents of wireless connectivity is Philippe Kahn, CEO of Starfish. Kahn says people have learned that web access is a way to escape, even from work. 1728 02:05:19,560 --> 02:05:35,920 People would drive in at 8 a.m., you know, sit in their cube and wait, you know, and do their spreadsheet, their word processor, because, you know, that's what they're meant to do. And suddenly, something interesting happens. On their machine appears something called a browser. 1729 02:05:35,920 --> 02:05:43,560 A browser. Browser is an interesting thing because a browser and TCP/IP gives you an escape vehicle from Dilbert's cubicle. 1730 02:05:43,560 --> 02:06:09,720 escape vehicle from Dilbert's cubicle. I would do anything for computers. I'd even put on a show and bang, bang, bang, bang. I would do anything for digital living room, but I won't do that. No way. 1731 02:06:10,140 --> 02:06:39,220 From Dilbert's cubicle. So now you're sitting down and, wow, I can get out of here. The main vehicle for wireless web access is the new generation of web-enabled cell phones and PDAs like the Palm 7. And there are some amazing new applications on the way. There's another company that works with Palm 7 or a Palm 5 with an OmniSky, any sort of wireless Palm, where you're listening to the radio. And, wow, that's a great song. I love that song. 1732 02:06:39,720 --> 02:06:48,380 What is it? You know, we all have those moments where we don't know what the song is. Maybe it's one we've heard before and knew and we've forgotten it. Or maybe it's a new song. We don't know who the artist is. We don't know what the song is. 1733 02:06:49,020 --> 02:07:08,420 This service enables you to say, I am in San Francisco. And then once you tell it's San Francisco, it gives you all the possible radio stations and it's KQED. And once you've done that, you say, you know, at 3.30, what song is playing? And that song pops up. Okay, but here's the interesting part. It says, click here to buy that CD. 1734 02:07:08,960 --> 02:07:09,800 Nice. Nice. 1735 02:07:09,800 --> 02:07:14,520 This represents a whole new category of business called M-Commerce. M for mobile. 1736 02:07:14,820 --> 02:07:20,520 What's going to be powerful about M-Commerce on wirelessly enabled devices is notification. 1737 02:07:21,180 --> 02:07:30,180 So I can imagine going to a website and looking at pictures of something. Look at a digital camera. Want to buy a new digital camera. 1738 02:07:30,540 --> 02:07:30,820 Right. 1739 02:07:31,660 --> 02:07:36,140 Basically saying, I don't want to pay $1,000 for that camera. I want to pay $800 for that camera. 1740 02:07:36,320 --> 02:07:36,500 Yeah. 1741 02:07:36,540 --> 02:07:38,820 And that camera costs $800. Let me know. 1742 02:07:39,360 --> 02:07:40,400 Let me know. 1743 02:07:40,420 --> 02:07:50,420 And the software will go out and monitor the prices. And when there's a price that's acceptable, then your phone rings. It says, that camera is now, push here to buy it. 1744 02:07:50,900 --> 02:07:51,520 One technology that... 1745 02:07:51,520 --> 02:07:54,960 And now we're in that... We are in that era. 1746 02:07:56,480 --> 02:08:02,860 It's fucking mighty. It's fucking great, man. Notifications whenever the stuff that I want. 1747 02:08:03,780 --> 02:08:06,920 Even when I don't want those notifications, they're coming up. 1748 02:08:08,000 --> 02:08:11,300 It's fucking brilliant, man. What a time to be alive. 1749 02:08:13,300 --> 02:08:17,080 Just a big round of applause for the fucking time that's in it. 1750 02:08:17,080 --> 02:08:24,340 2023, here we come. 1751 02:08:24,800 --> 02:08:28,000 It may drive the new world of intelligent wireless devices. 1752 02:08:28,560 --> 02:08:32,020 It's a great... It's a powerful fucking lineup on the panel, look. 1753 02:08:34,680 --> 02:08:36,120 Heavy, heavy buzz. 1754 02:08:37,320 --> 02:08:39,580 You've got fucking Doyle McManus. 1755 02:08:40,740 --> 02:08:41,940 Meatloaf Mark II. 1756 02:08:43,120 --> 02:08:44,660 Don't know who that book is. 1757 02:08:46,660 --> 02:08:50,560 And fucking Casey Keller from Lesser City. 1758 02:08:51,460 --> 02:08:52,900 Here's something called Bluetooth. 1759 02:08:53,480 --> 02:09:01,980 Bluetooth is technology that allows multiple devices to work and communicate together and share information and know about each other and each other's capabilities. 1760 02:09:02,540 --> 02:09:07,920 And it's pretty smart technology that will allow, you know, this cell phone, this pager, this digital camera to work together. 1761 02:09:08,140 --> 02:09:13,640 And work together wirelessly in multiple environments, in the office, at home, etc. 1762 02:09:13,900 --> 02:09:22,100 Also, it'll allow you, for example, if you have a digital camera with Bluetooth on it, and if you have a set-top box in your digital living room with a Bluetooth chip, 1763 02:09:22,180 --> 02:09:29,300 when you come back with your digital camera, all your digital pictures will be downloaded and you'll be able to watch them on your TV or whatever it is. 1764 02:09:29,300 --> 02:09:35,240 In fact, Bluetooth may be the answer to finally getting rid of wired headsets or cell phones. 1765 02:09:35,240 --> 02:09:44,720 We've heard from all of our customers in our telephone business and in the computing business that they would like us to cut the wires on our headsets. 1766 02:09:44,820 --> 02:09:45,800 They would like to have freedom. 1767 02:09:46,460 --> 02:09:48,320 So Bluetooth is very important for us. 1768 02:09:48,400 --> 02:09:51,420 So we have a dedicated team on Bluetooth development. 1769 02:09:51,640 --> 02:09:56,540 We've served as a member of the Bluetooth consortium for a long, long time. 1770 02:09:56,960 --> 02:09:58,500 So it's very important for us. 1771 02:09:58,880 --> 02:10:03,040 We think that Bluetooth will emerge as an application first in the mobile business. 1772 02:10:03,500 --> 02:10:04,440 We know that the cellular phone... 1773 02:10:04,440 --> 02:10:05,280 Mobile Bluetooth? 1774 02:10:05,280 --> 02:10:07,460 ...interested in delivering Bluetooth cell phones. 1775 02:10:07,460 --> 02:10:07,600 Who put that? 1776 02:10:08,020 --> 02:10:12,740 And we want to be there with an outstanding Plantronics Bluetooth headset. 1777 02:10:13,000 --> 02:10:17,960 Then what you could have is you really could put a personal organizer and a cell phone together. 1778 02:10:18,380 --> 02:10:25,060 Because the big problem is try and give someone a phone number from your organizer when the organizer is built into your cell phone. 1779 02:10:25,120 --> 02:10:25,860 It's like, hello, Joe. 1780 02:10:25,900 --> 02:10:26,220 Wait a minute. 1781 02:10:26,320 --> 02:10:26,680 Hold on. 1782 02:10:26,720 --> 02:10:27,820 You've got to look down here and do this. 1783 02:10:28,080 --> 02:10:28,220 Wait. 1784 02:10:28,280 --> 02:10:30,880 The first three digits are and then do some more and get... 1785 02:10:30,880 --> 02:10:31,800 That's not going to work. 1786 02:10:32,120 --> 02:10:39,300 If you can have the headset that just goes down to your belt, you can have the cell phone and the PDA in one unit. 1787 02:10:39,800 --> 02:10:43,240 You can even throw in a digital music player if you want, all in one unit. 1788 02:10:43,600 --> 02:10:44,760 And you can listen to the music. 1789 02:10:44,940 --> 02:10:46,200 You can talk on the phone. 1790 02:10:46,540 --> 02:10:51,000 Because all the weight and complexity of that is going to be down here. 1791 02:10:51,380 --> 02:10:56,120 One of the goals in the wireless handheld world is to reduce the number of devices... 1792 02:10:56,120 --> 02:10:57,200 Handheld world. 1793 02:10:57,980 --> 02:11:00,880 Probably the best example of that that exists today... 1794 02:11:00,880 --> 02:11:02,220 Handheld world. 1795 02:11:02,460 --> 02:11:05,680 ...going to be very soon is the Microsoft Pocket PC device. 1796 02:11:06,220 --> 02:11:06,660 Here it is. 1797 02:11:06,740 --> 02:11:08,660 It's a Palm Pilot-like device. 1798 02:11:08,800 --> 02:11:11,640 It's a little bigger and heavier and more expensive than a Palm Pilot. 1799 02:11:12,020 --> 02:11:14,340 And it has lousy battery life compared to a Palm Pilot. 1800 02:11:14,440 --> 02:11:16,120 But it's also an MP3 player. 1801 02:11:16,460 --> 02:11:18,220 It's also a digital voice recorder. 1802 02:11:18,760 --> 02:11:20,540 It plays digital movies. 1803 02:11:21,200 --> 02:11:24,340 It does all kinds of things that a Palm Pilot can't do. 1804 02:11:24,400 --> 02:11:25,840 And certainly a cell phone can't do. 1805 02:11:31,440 --> 02:11:37,520 We tend to think of websites as collections of information that we look at or read or print. 1806 02:11:37,520 --> 02:11:42,760 But one of the really interesting topics here at Digital Living Room was the so-called talking website. 1807 02:11:43,200 --> 02:11:44,220 Chat topics. 1808 02:11:44,540 --> 02:11:49,360 This is a website that you surf with speech and that has the ability to talk back to you. 1809 02:11:49,780 --> 02:11:51,080 One of the problems with... 1810 02:11:51,080 --> 02:11:51,960 There are three companies. 1811 02:11:51,960 --> 02:11:54,180 Another fucking boring panel. 1812 02:11:55,180 --> 02:11:56,200 Look at this guy. 1813 02:11:56,280 --> 02:11:57,340 He's taking control. 1814 02:11:59,920 --> 02:12:00,480 Movies. 1815 02:12:00,740 --> 02:12:02,400 Sponsored by IMDb. 1816 02:12:03,020 --> 02:12:04,820 For which movie do you want to review? 1817 02:12:05,220 --> 02:12:09,020 You can say top 10 to hear the current top 10 movies in the country. 1818 02:12:09,440 --> 02:12:10,020 Top 10. 1819 02:12:11,180 --> 02:12:12,100 Top 10. 1820 02:12:13,620 --> 02:12:16,600 The following are the top 10 movie box office hits. 1821 02:12:17,040 --> 02:12:20,120 When you hear me say the movie you want to see, say that one. 1822 02:12:20,340 --> 02:12:22,100 And I'll get you information for that movie. 1823 02:12:22,340 --> 02:12:23,640 Gone in 60 seconds. 1824 02:12:23,860 --> 02:12:24,400 That one. 1825 02:12:28,160 --> 02:12:30,280 Look at the rocking and the swaying. 1826 02:12:30,820 --> 02:12:33,360 And the look of confidence on his face. 1827 02:12:33,460 --> 02:12:34,100 He knew... 1828 02:12:34,100 --> 02:12:38,060 He knew what he was doing when he fucking started rocking and swaying and doing that. 1829 02:12:38,620 --> 02:12:43,420 He wants the world to know that he's a man in control of the situation. 1830 02:12:45,200 --> 02:12:46,640 Gone in 60 seconds. 1831 02:12:46,960 --> 02:12:48,320 Is rated PG-13. 1832 02:12:48,700 --> 02:12:51,340 And has a running time of 119 minutes. 1833 02:12:51,740 --> 02:12:54,540 When his little brother gets in over his head with a mob, 1834 02:12:54,800 --> 02:12:59,420 a master car thief must steal over 100 cars in this turbocharged crime thriller. 1835 02:13:00,720 --> 02:13:01,780 So what do you think? 1836 02:13:01,960 --> 02:13:03,400 Would you like to find out where it's showing? 1837 02:13:03,980 --> 02:13:04,400 Yes. 1838 02:13:04,960 --> 02:13:08,600 Another contender in the voice portal category is called Be Vocal. 1839 02:13:08,600 --> 02:13:11,160 Their emphasis is on travel information. 1840 02:13:11,160 --> 02:13:11,400 Close. 1841 02:13:11,400 --> 02:13:13,400 Close. 1842 02:13:13,400 --> 02:13:15,400 Close. 1843 02:13:15,400 --> 02:13:17,400 Close. 1844 02:13:17,400 --> 02:13:19,400 Close. 1845 02:13:19,400 --> 02:13:44,400 *Bone 4* 1846 02:13:44,400 --> 02:13:48,400 *Bone 4* 1847 02:13:48,400 --> 02:13:50,400 *Bone 5* 1848 02:13:50,400 --> 02:13:51,400 *Bone 5* 1849 02:13:51,400 --> 02:13:52,400 *Bone 5* 1850 02:13:52,400 --> 02:13:54,400 *Bone 5* 1851 02:13:54,400 --> 02:13:57,080 Their emphasis is on travel information. 1852 02:13:57,520 --> 02:13:58,780 Be vocal driving directions. 1853 02:14:01,020 --> 02:14:03,280 Be vocal driving directions. 1854 02:14:04,820 --> 02:14:07,640 Powered by MapQuest with Navtech on board. 1855 02:14:07,800 --> 02:14:10,120 Would you like to use your most recent set of directions? 1856 02:14:10,520 --> 02:14:10,760 No. 1857 02:14:12,100 --> 02:14:12,840 Fuck no. 1858 02:14:13,000 --> 02:14:15,100 Okay. Let's get your starting point. 1859 02:14:15,860 --> 02:14:17,020 Name a city in state. 1860 02:14:17,280 --> 02:14:22,180 Or if you have saved addresses, say home, work, last start, or last destination. 1861 02:14:22,940 --> 02:14:23,420 Home. 1862 02:14:23,420 --> 02:14:31,840 Home. 1100 Santa Monica Boulevard Santa Monica. Is this correct? 1863 02:14:32,160 --> 02:14:32,440 Yes. 1864 02:14:34,340 --> 02:14:36,120 Now let's get your destination. 1865 02:14:37,020 --> 02:14:39,960 Name a city in state. Or say home or work. 1866 02:14:40,400 --> 02:14:41,420 Burbank, California. 1867 02:14:42,740 --> 02:14:43,300 Burbank. 1868 02:14:43,940 --> 02:14:45,960 Finally, this is a service called film. 1869 02:14:45,960 --> 02:14:46,340 Jesus. 1870 02:14:46,760 --> 02:14:48,560 What part of New York City do you want? 1871 02:14:48,780 --> 02:14:49,480 Try Becca. 1872 02:14:51,560 --> 02:14:52,120 Burbank. 1873 02:14:52,120 --> 02:14:54,120 Burbank, California. 1874 02:14:54,120 --> 02:15:20,020 Here are 10 Italian restaurants in and around Tribeca. Say next or previous to move quickly through the list. To end this list, say stop. Acapella. Received four Tell Me Stars. It's located at 1 Hudson Street. To connect to this restaurant, say connect me as a Gat review is available for this restaurant. Connect me. 1875 02:15:23,240 --> 02:15:52,360 You have selected disconnect. You have selected disconnect. Acapella. I'm not sure what it would take to get a table tonight. So we're actually calling now. Acapella, buongiorno. How are you today? Good, good. How are you, sir? I'm doing great. Tell me, how late are you open for dinner tonight? Uh, 5 to 10, sorry. How are these demonstrators? It would have been class if you'd have got onto the phone. She were a man. And when he answered the fucking phone. How are you today? Good, good. How are you, sir? 1876 02:15:52,360 --> 02:16:16,500 I'm doing great. I'm doing great. Tell me. He went, I'm doing great. Fuck you. Fuck you. Boop, boop, boop. Just as like, just to take the edge off the room. There was a bit of tension then. Was the technology going to work or not? And then when it did work, it would have been quality to have just slam dunked the fucking prank phone call, transitioned into the prank, and then got the fuck out there. Everyone would have remembered that presentation. 1877 02:16:16,500 --> 02:16:27,780 Tell me, how late are you open for dinner tonight? Uh, 5 to 10, sorry. While these demonstrations are pretty impressive, there are still some big questions on the future of voice portals. 1878 02:16:28,340 --> 02:16:34,600 I see voice portals, whether it's Quack or TellMe.com or BeVocal or any others that are going to emerge, as a very useful technology. 1879 02:16:34,600 --> 02:16:35,200 Larry! 1880 02:16:35,200 --> 02:16:47,560 Larry! I think it's time. You know, you know what time it is. Let's get them going. Let's get these Googlers going. 1881 02:16:59,200 --> 02:17:20,800 Really adds a lot of credence to the statements he's making. 1882 02:17:20,800 --> 02:17:37,600 Let's give this fucker a taste of the treatment. 1883 02:17:37,600 --> 02:17:50,000 This is a tricky one. He's a mover. 1884 02:17:50,000 --> 02:17:52,000 He's a mover. 1885 02:17:52,000 --> 02:18:06,000 ...the words you're saying. That is moving along very well and will be very robust within a few years. The other part, which is actually much more difficult, is called natural language processing. And that means knowing what you want from what you say. 1886 02:18:06,000 --> 02:18:16,000 I wonder, could you fucking select the two of them and move them both around simultaneously? That would really be a... That would really be a great night. 1887 02:18:16,000 --> 02:18:18,000 Great night. 1888 02:18:18,000 --> 02:18:22,000 We had the two of these guys. Oh, you fucking can. Go on. 1889 02:18:22,000 --> 02:18:40,000 You can say to a travel agent, as was discussed at the show, tell me when the next flight is to New York and they'll know what you mean. A computer might really have a struggle and might show you every flight from everywhere in the country to New York, not realizing that I'm here in Los Angeles and I only want flights from Los Angeles to New York. 1890 02:18:40,000 --> 02:18:42,000 Much of the work... 1891 02:18:42,000 --> 02:18:44,000 That's enough of that. We've got... 1892 02:18:44,000 --> 02:18:46,000 ...on speech recognition technology... 1893 02:18:46,000 --> 02:18:48,000 Is this guy John Daly, is this? 1894 02:18:48,000 --> 02:18:50,000 ...has nothing to do with talking websites, but with being able to use your... 1895 02:18:50,000 --> 02:18:58,000 It's a beautiful piece of pudding. A sweet little piece of meat. 1896 02:18:58,000 --> 02:19:04,000 ...voice, normal conversation, as an interface with today's information devices. 1897 02:19:04,000 --> 02:19:08,000 When I talk about conversation, I'm not talking about speech in, speech out. 1898 02:19:08,000 --> 02:19:10,000 I see Osborne. 1899 02:19:10,000 --> 02:19:11,000 I'm talking about... 1900 02:19:11,000 --> 02:19:12,000 Okay, copyright. 1901 02:19:12,000 --> 02:19:14,000 ...about conversation, I'm not talking about... 1902 02:19:14,000 --> 02:19:15,000 Billy Ozzy Osborne. 1903 02:19:15,000 --> 02:19:38,000 ...about speech in, speech out. I'm talking about multimodal. On a WAP phone, what you really want to do is say, "What's the last 20 transactions in my checking account?" And you want it really displayed because you don't want to listen to it. However, you're driving down the car, you might want to hear it. You want to be able to take a pen on your Palm Pilot and say, "What's on the to-do list?" 1904 02:19:38,000 --> 02:19:40,000 Wet-ass protocol. 1905 02:19:40,000 --> 02:19:53,000 Delete this one. Make this priority one. The combination multimodal graphics, pen and voice is really what the interface of the future is. 1906 02:19:53,000 --> 02:20:01,000 But the report card is uneven on voice recognition systems. Some people love it. Some people think it's still a long way off. 1907 02:20:01,000 --> 02:20:04,000 I personally use a service called Portico. 1908 02:20:08,000 --> 02:20:11,000 Tonight at 9:00 on 4:00. 1909 02:20:11,000 --> 02:20:17,000 David Bunnell. The man who personally used a service called Portico. 1910 02:20:17,000 --> 02:20:46,980 Oh, my God. 1911 02:20:46,980 --> 02:21:16,960 Oh, my God. 1912 02:21:16,960 --> 02:21:21,420 Ask it to phone somebody if I know that they're on my list. 1913 02:21:21,580 --> 02:21:32,220 I have several thousand names in my address book so I can say, look up Mara Bunnell, who's my daughter, and it will give me a choice. 1914 02:21:32,360 --> 02:21:35,800 I can call her at home or call her at work or call her cell phone. 1915 02:21:36,220 --> 02:21:41,680 I don't have to remember the number or dig around the drawer to find where I wrote it down. 1916 02:21:41,960 --> 02:21:43,020 It's always there. 1917 02:21:43,200 --> 02:21:44,860 It's a very great service. 1918 02:21:46,000 --> 02:21:50,820 So I think my personal experience has been good with voice recognition. 1919 02:21:51,060 --> 02:21:53,740 I think it's going to be really huge. 1920 02:21:54,140 --> 02:21:55,520 Voice recognition is a long way off. 1921 02:21:55,640 --> 02:21:57,080 The badge is after you. 1922 02:21:57,620 --> 02:21:58,840 Skip through the badge. 1923 02:21:59,440 --> 02:22:03,260 He's filling in time now using this badge B-roll footage. 1924 02:22:03,380 --> 02:22:04,420 Badge roll he's using. 1925 02:22:05,180 --> 02:22:06,540 Post-PC era. 1926 02:22:06,980 --> 02:22:08,660 Post-PC era. 1927 02:22:08,720 --> 02:22:14,640 It's popular these days to talk about the post-PC era, a time when we all don't need Windows computers. 1928 02:22:15,120 --> 02:22:17,920 That was certainly the case here at the Digital Living Room conference. 1929 02:22:18,360 --> 02:22:20,260 Lots of information appliances. 1930 02:22:20,740 --> 02:22:23,660 Simple devices that do one thing very well. 1931 02:22:24,060 --> 02:22:25,220 Replay TV allows you to have... 1932 02:22:25,220 --> 02:22:29,400 There were several demonstrations here at Digital Living Room of new info appliances. 1933 02:22:29,780 --> 02:22:31,200 Replay is a good example. 1934 02:22:31,540 --> 02:22:32,580 It's really a computer. 1935 02:22:32,960 --> 02:22:35,080 CPU, memory, hard drive. 1936 02:22:35,280 --> 02:22:37,980 But its only job is to help you watch television. 1937 02:22:38,420 --> 02:22:39,520 This is Siva. 1938 02:22:39,860 --> 02:22:41,740 Again, it's a computer on the inside. 1939 02:22:42,100 --> 02:22:45,980 But its special purpose is to download and display digital photographs. 1940 02:22:46,800 --> 02:22:49,220 Eye Opener from Netpliance is another example. 1941 02:22:49,740 --> 02:22:51,980 They have a screen, a mouse and a keyboard. 1942 02:22:52,400 --> 02:22:54,380 But it is simply an internet terminal. 1943 02:22:54,620 --> 02:22:55,440 Easy to use. 1944 02:22:55,800 --> 02:22:57,000 Inexpensive to buy. 1945 02:22:57,340 --> 02:22:59,040 And even this is a computer. 1946 02:22:59,500 --> 02:23:00,640 An information appliance... 1947 02:23:00,640 --> 02:23:01,160 Oh, lovely. 1948 02:23:01,920 --> 02:23:02,720 And look at this. 1949 02:23:02,800 --> 02:23:06,440 It's a sensual piece of gold. 1950 02:23:07,540 --> 02:23:09,900 He's rocking the piece of gold in the ear. 1951 02:23:10,460 --> 02:23:11,840 It's a real fucking statement. 1952 02:23:12,740 --> 02:23:14,200 It's a real statement piece. 1953 02:23:14,200 --> 02:23:14,900 ...of a piano. 1954 02:23:15,440 --> 02:23:20,980 There's a Windows PC hidden inside this van covering interactive piano, complete with modem, 1955 02:23:21,040 --> 02:23:23,640 and the ability to upgrade its software. 1956 02:23:23,640 --> 02:23:24,580 Okay, that's fine. 1957 02:23:24,580 --> 02:23:29,520 The hot new form factor for information appliances is the web pad. 1958 02:23:29,860 --> 02:23:32,580 There's going to be an explosion of web pads throughout the house. 1959 02:23:32,720 --> 02:23:32,840 You'll see... 1960 02:23:32,840 --> 02:23:33,300 Mary Walker. 1961 02:23:33,300 --> 02:23:34,580 You'll start to have them in the kitchen. 1962 02:23:34,780 --> 02:23:37,460 You'll have them in the entertainment area. 1963 02:23:37,940 --> 02:23:41,480 And what it does is it provides a single platform, low cost. 1964 02:23:41,620 --> 02:23:59,500 Instead of having to have a PC that you've got to boot up, you'll now have these devices that are wireless that will connect back to this service gateway and be able to do things like surf the net, select movies that you want to watch on your entertainment system, purchase things, so e-shopping. 1965 02:23:59,500 --> 02:24:05,040 So it's really a new user interface that is low cost and mobile. 1966 02:24:05,040 --> 02:24:11,040 This is a web pad attached to a refrigerator. It's simply a touch screen version of Netpliance's eye opener. 1967 02:24:11,040 --> 02:24:17,040 Perfect thing for the kitchen. You can just have it there and type out a quick email and send it off. 1968 02:24:17,040 --> 02:24:21,040 Another example would be Microsoft's Web TV application, which my grandmother has. 1969 02:24:21,040 --> 02:24:25,040 My 88 year old grandmother uses this. And I almost, you know, I don't call. 1970 02:24:25,040 --> 02:24:31,040 I'm a terrible grandson, but now that she's got email, we're communicating almost every day and it's wonderful. 1971 02:24:31,040 --> 02:24:35,040 One unique approach to the information appliance comes from NCR. 1972 02:24:35,040 --> 02:24:40,040 We tend to think of e-commerce and brick and mortar commerce as two separate activities. 1973 02:24:40,040 --> 02:24:45,040 But NCR thinks there's room for an e-commerce kiosk inside your supermarket. 1974 02:24:45,040 --> 02:24:51,040 You go in the grocery store, you go in the deli section, and the deli section has four people in front of you. 1975 02:24:51,040 --> 02:24:58,040 So instead of waiting in line to explain it, you go up to a web kiosk. This is it. It can stand independently, be hooked on the wall. 1976 02:24:58,040 --> 02:25:04,040 It's basically a panel PC with some extra resiliency built into it so kids can spill coke. 1977 02:25:05,040 --> 02:25:11,040 Hey guys. Great to see you. I'm inside the web panel. 1978 02:25:11,040 --> 02:25:21,040 While we're doing today, me and my co-host, Janelle here, we're going to show you the future of Web Pad technology 5.0. 1979 02:25:21,040 --> 02:25:31,040 Just in time for Christmas. And I gotta tell you something, it's a real sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet piece of tech. 1980 02:25:31,040 --> 02:25:43,040 Just today, I had my first Web Pad extravaganza and it really, really sucked ass. 1981 02:25:43,040 --> 02:25:44,040 It's on it. 1982 02:25:44,040 --> 02:25:51,040 Oh! I don't like it when you do that to me, Janelle. Stop touching me like that. 1983 02:25:51,040 --> 02:26:03,040 Hey! Janelle! Janelle! Stop touching me, Janelle! Hey! Hey! Janelle! The fuck are you doing, Janelle? 1984 02:26:03,040 --> 02:26:14,040 Hey! Hey! This isn't the demonstration. You never said the demonstration would go like this. The fuck? The fuck? Get off of me, man! 1985 02:26:14,040 --> 02:26:43,040 Somebody call the cops! You're abusing me! This fucking abuse! Somebody call 911! This broad's gone fucking chaotic here! Hey! Get the fuck out of here! The fuck are you doing? Stop doing that! It's not professional! That's abuse! 1986 02:26:43,040 --> 02:26:47,140 Fuck you, Janelle! 1987 02:26:50,460 --> 02:26:51,300 Hey! 1988 02:26:52,440 --> 02:26:54,260 The fuck are you doing? 1989 02:26:55,560 --> 02:26:56,620 Get out of here! 1990 02:26:59,160 --> 02:27:00,420 Coke on it. 1991 02:27:00,720 --> 02:27:01,160 Hey! 1992 02:27:01,780 --> 02:27:02,260 Okay. 1993 02:27:02,740 --> 02:27:03,820 Stop doing that! 1994 02:27:05,360 --> 02:27:06,160 Fuck! 1995 02:27:06,160 --> 02:27:06,860 Ah! 1996 02:27:08,060 --> 02:27:08,320 Ah! 1997 02:27:09,360 --> 02:27:10,160 Ah! 1998 02:27:10,740 --> 02:27:11,100 Ah! 1999 02:27:11,100 --> 02:27:11,600 Ah! 2000 02:27:12,780 --> 02:27:13,360 Ah! 2001 02:27:16,360 --> 02:27:17,120 Ah! 2002 02:27:20,440 --> 02:27:21,280 Ah! 2003 02:27:23,100 --> 02:27:23,600 Ah! 2004 02:27:23,600 --> 02:27:24,100 Ah! 2005 02:27:29,040 --> 02:27:31,280 Somebody call the goddamn cops! 2006 02:27:33,120 --> 02:27:34,440 Call the... 2007 02:27:34,440 --> 02:27:36,320 Hey! 2008 02:27:37,300 --> 02:27:38,780 Hey, I go into the deli. 2009 02:27:39,100 --> 02:27:41,360 Now I'm in the deli, in the deli on... 2010 02:27:44,360 --> 02:27:45,360 ...on the web. 2011 02:27:45,360 --> 02:27:51,320 And I can go ahead and buy some cheese, order some meat, get some salads. 2012 02:27:51,320 --> 02:27:53,580 I can say the amount, the type I want... 2013 02:27:53,580 --> 02:27:55,580 ...to the deli... 2014 02:27:55,580 --> 02:27:57,580 ...to the deli... 2015 02:27:57,580 --> 02:27:59,580 ...now I'm in the deli, in the... 2016 02:27:59,580 --> 02:28:04,140 And I can go ahead and buy some cheese, order some meat, get some salads. 2017 02:28:04,480 --> 02:28:06,340 I can say the amount, the type I want. 2018 02:28:11,920 --> 02:28:12,940 To the deli. 2019 02:28:14,040 --> 02:28:16,480 Now I'm in the deli. 2020 02:28:16,480 --> 02:28:25,480 In the deli on the web. 2021 02:28:25,860 --> 02:28:29,200 And I can go ahead and buy some cheese, order some meat, get some salad. 2022 02:28:29,200 --> 02:28:31,400 I can say the amount, the type I want. 2023 02:28:31,760 --> 02:28:37,400 Another good example of using an e-commerce kiosk inside a supermarket would be in the wine department. 2024 02:28:37,880 --> 02:28:39,340 Now this is great and important. 2025 02:28:39,520 --> 02:28:42,220 Why didn't I just go up and buy a bottle of wine? 2026 02:28:42,560 --> 02:28:45,060 Because I don't know anything about wine. 2027 02:28:45,760 --> 02:28:49,000 Now I could have looked it up on the web before I went into the store. 2028 02:28:49,400 --> 02:28:55,060 The only problem with looking it up on the web before I go into the store is that I've missed a big piece of it. 2029 02:28:55,140 --> 02:28:57,360 Like maybe that store doesn't carry that type of wine. 2030 02:28:57,360 --> 02:29:01,120 They don't have that bottle. They don't have that year. 2031 02:29:01,120 --> 02:29:05,980 No one cares about your goddamn store story, Janelle. 2032 02:29:05,980 --> 02:29:10,960 No one cares. You're losing the audience. 2033 02:29:10,960 --> 02:29:20,320 The only problem with looking it up on the web before I go into the store is that I've missed a big piece of it. 2034 02:29:20,320 --> 02:29:23,840 Like maybe that store doesn't carry that type of wine. 2035 02:29:24,180 --> 02:29:26,200 They don't have that bottle. They don't have that year. 2036 02:29:26,200 --> 02:29:52,200 whistling 2037 02:29:52,200 --> 02:29:59,200 whistling 2038 02:29:59,200 --> 02:30:09,200 So while I'm in the store, the store will only show me pulled down from the web the subset of those wines they're carrying in inventory right now on the shelf. 2039 02:30:19,200 --> 02:30:25,200 Babe! Get on with the fucking show here! 2040 02:30:26,200 --> 02:30:33,200 Another NCR innovation in the shopping area is the digital receipt, zapped wirelessly to your PDA. 2041 02:30:33,200 --> 02:30:45,200 How many of you have ever been given a receipt for anything you've ever bought? Paper receipt. 2042 02:30:45,200 --> 02:31:07,200 Right, we've all gotten paper receipt. What do we do with the paper receipt? Most of us leave the place, bundle it up, throw it away. It now has no value. So why do we do it? Well, we're supposed to have it. If the thing breaks, that's how we bring it back. Let's say it was all digital and everything you bought could be stored somewhere. It could be sent emailed to your home. It could be downloaded to your palm. 2043 02:31:07,200 --> 02:31:17,200 While this might seem like a trivial application, it could in fact be quite valuable. 2044 02:31:17,200 --> 02:31:38,200 If you could imagine vaults that consumer goods manufacturers access, that retailers access, that consumers access and find out everything they want to know about their receipt. You never have to find a lost warranty receipt again. Never have to prove anything again. It's all existing online and people like Intuit will have it on Quicken so your personal finances are a dream. 2045 02:31:39,200 --> 02:31:59,200 If there was one overriding theme here at the Digital Living Room Conference, it was that the digital world and the internet are moving from words to pictures and with good reason. 2046 02:31:59,200 --> 02:32:17,200 Photographies and video are part of our lives, our souls, our memories. If you think about it, what do you look back on? You rarely look back on an email. You rarely reread your instant messages. But you look back at your photographs, your family photographs, your personal photographs, your business photographs. 2047 02:32:17,200 --> 02:32:45,200 You never forget the way you look back on an email. You never forget the way you feel right now. Oh no, no way. And I would do anything for love. Oh, I would do anything for love. I would do anything for love. But I won't do that. 2048 02:32:45,200 --> 02:32:49,360 No, I won't do that. 2049 02:32:58,360 --> 02:33:01,200 And some days it don't come easy. 2050 02:33:01,980 --> 02:33:04,440 And some days it don't come hard. 2051 02:33:05,080 --> 02:33:06,920 Some days it don't come mad. 2052 02:33:06,920 --> 02:33:16,040 The service is all about simplicity. 2053 02:33:16,040 --> 02:33:19,540 It allows users to connect digital cameras right to the box. 2054 02:33:20,820 --> 02:33:22,320 Set up box. 2055 02:33:22,520 --> 02:33:24,920 And upload their pictures through the broadband. 2056 02:33:25,480 --> 02:33:28,460 Thank you very much, Omar and Sarah Love Shafee. 2057 02:33:28,580 --> 02:33:30,720 Thank you very much for the tip, Sarah Love Shafee. 2058 02:33:30,840 --> 02:33:35,440 The service they already have in their home that's serving up broadcast content to their television. 2059 02:33:35,440 --> 02:33:43,260 The new Kodak TV system lets you distribute, view, and even order prints of digital photos right on your television set. 2060 02:33:43,760 --> 02:33:46,440 It opens up a whole new market for users to... 2061 02:33:47,280 --> 02:33:48,120 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2062 02:33:48,620 --> 02:33:49,820 And take thumbnail. 2063 02:33:50,120 --> 02:33:53,660 In Japan now has an attachment that you can buy for your cell phone. 2064 02:33:54,080 --> 02:33:54,440 And take thumbnails. 2065 02:33:55,240 --> 02:33:58,980 Like a female Steve Jobs, Nancy Carr is after you. 2066 02:34:00,120 --> 02:34:01,120 Wow. 2067 02:34:01,120 --> 02:34:02,120 Wow. 2068 02:34:02,120 --> 02:34:02,120 This is a new search engine called Ditto.com. 2069 02:34:02,120 --> 02:34:03,120 It searches for images rather than text, which can be very helpful. 2070 02:34:03,120 --> 02:34:07,220 will be bringing real digital pictures to online mapping and directions. 2071 02:34:07,780 --> 02:34:11,460 Instead of clunky little line maps and disruptive redraws, 2072 02:34:11,960 --> 02:34:15,760 Flyover will let you look at a real aerial view of the place you want to go to 2073 02:34:15,760 --> 02:34:19,680 and let you zoom or navigate the terrain in real time. 2074 02:34:20,320 --> 02:34:23,440 Even web search is moving from words to pictures. 2075 02:34:23,960 --> 02:34:26,900 This is a new search engine called Ditto.com. 2076 02:34:27,360 --> 02:34:29,760 It searches for images rather than text, 2077 02:34:29,760 --> 02:34:33,560 which can be very helpful when you're searching for something like Notre Dame. 2078 02:34:33,880 --> 02:34:35,840 Do you mean the cathedral or the university? 2079 02:34:36,540 --> 02:34:43,840 We are in a group of new companies who are committed to high relevance search 2080 02:34:43,840 --> 02:34:46,360 and our approach to that is pictures. 2081 02:34:47,200 --> 02:34:51,420 At Ditto, we've indexed over 100 million pictures on the web 2082 02:34:51,420 --> 02:34:56,880 and culled that down to, frankly, the 4.1 million best pictures 2083 02:34:57,280 --> 02:34:59,820 so that for virtually any topic you want to go see, 2084 02:35:00,580 --> 02:35:03,800 you can see the web rather than read the web. 2085 02:35:04,060 --> 02:35:06,660 It was clear here at the Digital Living Room Conference 2086 02:35:06,660 --> 02:35:10,580 that most new computer applications will be delivered via the web, 2087 02:35:10,940 --> 02:35:13,440 not some shrink-wrapped package on a store shelf. 2088 02:35:13,880 --> 02:35:14,980 There were many examples. 2089 02:35:15,620 --> 02:35:19,200 This is Think Free, a complete office suite written in Java. 2090 02:35:19,600 --> 02:35:22,180 That means the application and your files... 2091 02:35:22,180 --> 02:35:24,420 The entire application is only 8 megabytes. 2092 02:35:24,420 --> 02:35:25,280 Very compact. 2093 02:35:25,480 --> 02:35:27,120 It's a lovely little piece of putin'. 2094 02:35:27,120 --> 02:35:29,420 It's Dick Buchanan, everybody. 2095 02:35:29,640 --> 02:35:30,660 Dick Buchanan. 2096 02:35:34,060 --> 02:35:35,120 Code base. 2097 02:35:35,480 --> 02:35:39,020 In fact, the entire application is only 8 megabytes in size. 2098 02:35:39,680 --> 02:35:42,540 The idea was to deliver these tiny... 2099 02:35:42,540 --> 02:35:43,640 Dick Cannon. 2100 02:35:43,640 --> 02:35:48,840 ...applets via the Internet directly to users and consumers of the technology. 2101 02:35:48,840 --> 02:35:51,200 as rapidly as we can develop it. 2102 02:35:51,300 --> 02:35:54,160 So if every 45 days we come out with a new version, 2103 02:35:54,300 --> 02:35:56,840 we push it through the Internet pipe directly... 2104 02:35:56,840 --> 02:36:01,080 Internet pipe. 2105 02:36:01,460 --> 02:36:04,240 If every 45 days we come out with a new version, 2106 02:36:04,360 --> 02:36:07,560 we push it through the Internet pipe directly to the... 2107 02:36:07,560 --> 02:36:08,900 So we come out with a new version, 2108 02:36:09,020 --> 02:36:10,820 we push it through the Internet pipe. 2109 02:36:10,820 --> 02:36:40,820 Pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, 2110 02:36:40,820 --> 02:36:46,820 you can get real-time advice from a live technician. Their technology lets the tech support person... 2111 02:36:46,820 --> 02:36:52,820 We're downloading the shop wave from the ladies in the cave. So get your groove on. 2112 02:36:52,820 --> 02:36:56,820 ...take remote control of your computer and fix the problem for you. 2113 02:36:56,820 --> 02:37:02,820 And this is a totally new concept... Maybe I am just a little fucked up. Life is a little fucked up. 2114 02:37:02,820 --> 02:37:06,820 ...packages are called dots from a company named DoDots. 2115 02:37:06,820 --> 02:37:11,820 You can think of those as bite-sized internet applications on a desktop. 2116 02:37:11,820 --> 02:37:12,820 Wow! 2117 02:37:12,820 --> 02:37:16,820 You can use one or you can use a dozen. And you can move them really anywhere that you want. 2118 02:37:16,820 --> 02:37:22,820 One might give you a headline news, another might give you your online calendar, another one might be a music player. 2119 02:37:22,820 --> 02:37:28,820 For the users, it allows them to get things done because you can use your Merriam-Webster dictionary dot with your word processor... 2120 02:37:28,820 --> 02:37:34,820 ...as opposed to having to switch back and forth. It allows you to draw on multiple resources to get... 2121 02:37:34,820 --> 02:37:38,820 If you need to make a decision, you can have five dots open at the exact same time. 2122 02:37:38,820 --> 02:37:46,820 Despite lots of cool new dot-com applications here at Digital Living Room, it was clear that dot-com frenzy is slowing down... 2123 02:37:46,820 --> 02:37:52,820 ...and that only real online businesses with bottom-line profit potential will survive. 2124 02:37:52,820 --> 02:37:58,820 At Upside today, we started a section called the dot-com graveyard. 2125 02:37:58,820 --> 02:38:08,820 And it's growing as we speak. And if you go to that Upside today and you go to that part of our site, you'll see little tombstones. 2126 02:38:08,820 --> 02:38:14,820 And we'll list all the dot-coms that have gone out of business. We'll tell you how much cash they've burned through. 2127 02:38:14,820 --> 02:38:22,820 And I'll give you a quote from the...usually from the CEO as he's walking out the door for the last time, what he says about the experience. 2128 02:38:22,820 --> 02:38:24,820 So it's a lot of fun. 2129 02:38:24,820 --> 02:38:27,820 In classic internet fashion, we're saying the same kind of... 2130 02:38:27,820 --> 02:38:30,820 Janet Rae Dupree. 2131 02:38:30,820 --> 02:38:45,820 And it warrants one of these. And also, before I get into the warranting, I want to say a big thank you to Gilbo, who's just tipped there and says, "Your streams bring me so much joy. 2132 02:38:45,820 --> 02:38:51,820 Have a great Christmas. And an even better 2023." 2133 02:38:51,820 --> 02:38:55,820 Thank you very much. 2134 02:38:55,820 --> 02:38:57,820 ...industry consults... 2135 02:38:57,820 --> 02:39:15,820 Tonight at 9:00 on dispatches... 2136 02:39:15,820 --> 02:39:19,820 Janet Rae Dupree. 2137 02:39:19,820 --> 02:39:23,820 Fuzzball Nightmare. 2138 02:39:23,820 --> 02:39:29,820 ...you mean Dupree. 2139 02:39:29,820 --> 02:39:32,820 ...fuzzy dumb lop. 2140 02:39:32,820 --> 02:39:34,820 ...fuzzy dumb lop. 2141 02:39:50,820 --> 02:39:51,820 ...fifu... 2142 02:39:51,820 --> 02:39:52,820 ...fifu... 2143 02:39:52,820 --> 02:39:56,820 *laughs* 2144 02:39:56,820 --> 02:39:58,820 *crickets* 2145 02:39:58,820 --> 02:40:00,820 *crickets* 2146 02:40:00,820 --> 02:40:02,820 *crickets* 2147 02:40:02,820 --> 02:40:32,800 I don't know. 2148 02:40:32,800 --> 02:41:02,780 I don't know. 2149 02:41:02,780 --> 02:41:04,780 I don't know. 2150 02:41:04,780 --> 02:41:06,780 I don't know. 2151 02:41:06,780 --> 02:41:06,780 I don't know. 2152 02:41:06,780 --> 02:41:08,780 I don't know. 2153 02:41:08,780 --> 02:41:10,780 I don't know. 2154 02:41:10,780 --> 02:41:12,780 I don't know. 2155 02:41:12,780 --> 02:41:14,780 I don't know. 2156 02:41:14,780 --> 02:41:16,780 I don't know. 2157 02:41:16,780 --> 02:41:18,780 I don't know. 2158 02:41:18,780 --> 02:41:20,780 I don't know. 2159 02:41:20,780 --> 02:41:22,780 I don't know. 2160 02:41:22,780 --> 02:41:24,780 I don't know. 2161 02:41:24,780 --> 02:41:24,780 I don't know. 2162 02:41:24,780 --> 02:41:26,780 I don't know. 2163 02:41:26,780 --> 02:41:28,780 I don't know. 2164 02:41:28,780 --> 02:41:38,780 I can long-term tell people that I thought the internet craze, the stock craze, was the biggest Ponzi scheme ever run. Last one in is going to lose all their money. And that's exactly what happened. Ponzi's after you. 2165 02:41:38,780 --> 02:41:42,780 One of the success icons of the internet revolution is Amazon.com. 2166 02:41:42,780 --> 02:41:44,780 It'll never take off. 2167 02:41:44,780 --> 02:41:52,780 Analysts here at this conference were wondering whether even Amazon can survive the current market pressure to show profit. 2168 02:41:52,780 --> 02:41:56,360 It'll never survive the fucking dot-com crash. 2169 02:41:56,980 --> 02:41:58,020 It's fucking rubbish. 2170 02:41:58,140 --> 02:42:00,660 Amazon.com, the head of Amazon.com, 2171 02:42:00,720 --> 02:42:02,420 became Time Magazine's Person of the Year 2172 02:42:02,420 --> 02:42:04,420 without ever having turned a profit. 2173 02:42:04,980 --> 02:42:05,980 And so what is he selling? 2174 02:42:06,120 --> 02:42:09,840 He's selling the hope that maybe someday we will be tremendously successful. 2175 02:42:10,240 --> 02:42:12,060 Well, at some point, you have to have reality. 2176 02:42:12,540 --> 02:42:14,220 And I think it's not going to happen right away, 2177 02:42:14,300 --> 02:42:18,080 but this whole B2B, B2C buzzword is all about a lack of reality, 2178 02:42:18,200 --> 02:42:20,200 a lack of sensing what is it that's important. 2179 02:42:20,200 --> 02:42:23,760 And ultimately, it's about making enough money to keep your company afloat 2180 02:42:23,760 --> 02:42:26,760 without having to sucker investors to bring the cash in. 2181 02:42:27,020 --> 02:42:30,700 People didn't realize that they were not in the Internet business. 2182 02:42:31,000 --> 02:42:35,080 Amazon thought of itself as an Internet business, 2183 02:42:35,280 --> 02:42:38,200 not as being in the book business. 2184 02:42:38,580 --> 02:42:41,760 And when the reality kind of came through 2185 02:42:41,760 --> 02:42:44,580 that we're actually in the book business, 2186 02:42:44,840 --> 02:42:47,440 and the margins are very thin, 2187 02:42:47,440 --> 02:42:51,600 and you have to discount lots of bestsellers 2188 02:42:51,600 --> 02:42:53,900 to get the customers in the door, 2189 02:42:54,380 --> 02:42:57,700 it's actually the same process online. 2190 02:42:57,960 --> 02:43:00,260 And then building gigantic warehouses 2191 02:43:00,260 --> 02:43:02,420 in the middle of the desert is expensive. 2192 02:43:03,220 --> 02:43:03,340 Yeah. 2193 02:43:03,500 --> 02:43:06,160 And, you know, it turns out that the reality is 2194 02:43:06,160 --> 02:43:07,100 you're in the book business, 2195 02:43:07,100 --> 02:43:08,400 and it's a tough business. 2196 02:43:08,880 --> 02:43:10,000 So what happened? 2197 02:43:10,760 --> 02:43:12,500 They fucking diversified. 2198 02:43:12,940 --> 02:43:15,120 They went out beyond the book. 2199 02:43:16,800 --> 02:43:19,640 And now they sell every fucking thing under the sun. 2200 02:43:19,640 --> 02:43:22,500 For the Computer Chronicles, I'm Stuart Chaffey 2201 02:43:22,500 --> 02:43:24,300 at the Digital Living Room Conference 2202 02:43:24,300 --> 02:43:26,000 in Dana Point, California. 2203 02:43:27,200 --> 02:43:29,620 The Computer Chronicles is brought to you by 2204 02:43:29,620 --> 02:43:31,460 RonDiamond.com. 2205 02:43:31,780 --> 02:43:33,520 The only site on the Internet. 2206 02:43:34,080 --> 02:43:37,320 Music and memories from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. 2207 02:43:37,520 --> 02:43:39,320 Not just another jukebox. 2208 02:43:39,980 --> 02:43:41,680 Additional support comes from 2209 02:43:41,680 --> 02:43:43,840 The Law Offices of Ivan Hoffman, 2210 02:43:44,220 --> 02:43:45,640 Lawyering with Integrity 2211 02:43:45,640 --> 02:43:48,360 for Internet Law, Copyright, Trademark, 2212 02:43:48,540 --> 02:43:50,500 and Other Intellectual Property Law. 2213 02:43:51,140 --> 02:43:54,440 And by TechWeb for up-to-the-minute technology news. 2214 02:43:56,440 --> 02:43:59,340 To purchase a videotaped copy of today's program, 2215 02:43:59,760 --> 02:44:05,080 call toll-free 1-888-310-7850. 2216 02:44:05,920 --> 02:44:08,460 Please specify the show number and the topic. 2217 02:44:10,680 --> 02:44:12,340 Thanks very much for a manna. 2218 02:44:12,560 --> 02:44:15,480 And thank you very much, everyone who watched. 2219 02:44:15,600 --> 02:44:16,060 Good night. 2220 02:44:16,700 --> 02:44:18,280 And fucking God bless. 2221 02:44:20,680 --> 02:44:21,480 Good night. 2222 02:44:24,860 --> 02:44:25,340 Fuck. 2223 02:44:25,560 --> 02:44:25,780 Fuck. 2224 02:44:25,880 --> 02:44:26,020 Fuck. 2225 02:44:26,120 --> 02:44:26,220 Fuck. 2226 02:44:26,220 --> 02:44:27,180 Oh, fuck. 2227 02:44:27,380 --> 02:44:27,780 Oh, fuck. 2228 02:44:29,000 --> 02:44:29,600 Best goal. 2229 02:44:29,740 --> 02:44:30,380 See you later on. 2230 02:44:30,400 --> 02:44:31,400 It just broke something there. 2231 02:44:31,480 --> 02:44:31,880 See you later.