1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,940 Not gone to their house in Mesquite 2 00:00:01,940 --> 00:00:03,880 because they stopped in Reno. 3 00:00:04,740 --> 00:00:05,650 And then she flew down to see 4 00:00:05,650 --> 00:00:07,180 her parents or her kid or 5 00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:08,200 something. 6 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,560 And he flew over here. 7 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,820 I mean, him getting on a plane 8 00:00:12,820 --> 00:00:15,920 and flying somewhere is like 9 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,400 you going to Publix. 10 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,870 I mean, it's something he just 11 00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:22,460 does every week. 12 00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:24,380 You used the phrase evil genius. 13 00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:25,720 Do you think that he was? 14 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,260 I'm sorry. I mean, that's the 15 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,480 thing I shouldn't have said. 16 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,270 But that's what people are. I 17 00:00:30,270 --> 00:00:32,200 mean, that he's this, you know, 18 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,040 but he's a highly intelligent. 19 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,310 What I mean, there's absolutely 20 00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:35,560 no. 21 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,010 And this is the other part that 22 00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,440 I want to stress with this, 23 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,520 that it I mean, it doesn't 24 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,290 matter that they won't chase 25 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:40,640 people. 26 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,800 But people are saying, oh, he 27 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:42,680 must have had help. 28 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,250 Steve had no help. Steve didn't 29 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:46,320 take help. 30 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,870 It did not take a village for 31 00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:49,720 Steve. Steve was an arm. 32 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,260 I'm sorry. He was an arms 33 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:51,940 dealer. 34 00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:53,700 Please don't. He was a one 35 00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:54,840 armed bandit. 36 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:55,970 I'm using a colloquial. I was 37 00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,280 about to use a colloquial term. 38 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,940 That would besmudge one of the 39 00:00:58,940 --> 00:00:59,920 armed forces. 40 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:00,400 Besmudgement. 41 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:02,720 Steve was a... 42 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:03,700 Besmudgement news. 43 00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,160 Stand alone guy. 44 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,280 He was a fucking one... 45 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:10,880 He was a one man army. 46 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:11,440 Steve. 47 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:18,560 If you wanted to hang out with 48 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:23,120 Steve, you hung out with Steve, 49 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,190 but you had to understand Steve 50 00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:28,440 was a little quirky. 51 00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:32,900 I want to hear, I mean, here's 52 00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:34,880 the story. 53 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:38,060 You know, here's how Steve is. 54 00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,720 I would go, you know, when I 55 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,370 was flying or whatever, if he 56 00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:46,810 was in town and I happened to 57 00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:49,250 be flying over, I'd stop in 58 00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:52,110 where, you know, we'd go to the 59 00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:54,770 hotel and stay in the hotel for 60 00:01:54,770 --> 00:01:57,430 a couple days or something and 61 00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:59,450 sit under the cabana or 62 00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,020 something. 63 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,400 Bottom line. That's how it 64 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,100 works. 65 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:24,280 I'm not saying, but he could 66 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:35,360 have very easy. 67 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,850 The reason they found this 68 00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:40,660 stuff in the, in the mesquite 69 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,140 house, he could have very 70 00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:45,060 easily not gone. 71 00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:49,730 He had multiple houses and any, 72 00:02:49,730 --> 00:02:54,480 I mean, a bunch of the hotels. 73 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:55,200 Oh yeah. 74 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,700 Not any hotel, but many of the 75 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,000 hotels. 76 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,610 He walks in any hotel, but many 77 00:03:03,610 --> 00:03:04,900 hotels. 78 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,020 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 79 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,960 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 80 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:10,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 81 00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:11,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 82 00:03:11,660 --> 00:03:15,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 83 00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:17,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 84 00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:19,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 85 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:21,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 86 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 87 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 88 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:24,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 89 00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:25,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 90 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:26,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 91 00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:27,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 92 00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:28,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 93 00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:29,660 Not any hotel, but many hotels. 94 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,360 Not any hotel hotels. 95 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,360 Not any hotel hotels. 96 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:37,360 Not a bunch of hotels. 97 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:41,360 Not a bunch of hotels. 98 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:46,830 No reason to tell me that he 99 00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:50,360 was a nice guy. 100 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:54,360 People who used to pay him rent. 101 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,670 I mean, the story about the 102 00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:03,060 apartments that we have. 103 00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:06,810 The guy says, "Oh, and by the 104 00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:10,400 way, you know the place's up 105 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,060 when we bought it. 106 00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:15,690 We fixed it up and made a nice 107 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:19,060 place for these people to live." 108 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:23,120 And Steve gave them, I mean, 109 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:27,370 gave them cheap rent because we 110 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:30,760 wanted happy people. 111 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,760 Nice people in our apartments. 112 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,220 He said, "Yeah, he had a quirky 113 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:38,760 sense of humor." 114 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,580 What the hell's a quirky sense 115 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,760 of humor? 116 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,570 People watch movies where they 117 00:04:45,570 --> 00:04:47,760 butcher little kids. 118 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,760 What the hell are you doing? 119 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,410 This is why everybody, and here's 120 00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:58,760 my diatribe today. 121 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,340 This is what everybody's so 122 00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:07,760 scared about right now. 123 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:15,000 When Steve can do this, we are 124 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,760 in deep shit. 125 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,800 Because there's just nothing 126 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,760 there. 127 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:32,410 You find me where someone who's 128 00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:38,760 like Steve does this. 129 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,920 I hope the hell they find when 130 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:49,950 they do the autopsy that there's 131 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,760 a tumor. 132 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:53,300 I hope the hell is going to be 133 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:53,760 a little bit more. 134 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,300 I hope the hell is going to be 135 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:54,760 a little bit more. 136 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:55,300 I hope the hell is going to be 137 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:55,760 a little bit more. 138 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:56,300 I hope the hell is going to be 139 00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:56,760 a little bit more. 140 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:57,310 I hope the hell is going to be 141 00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:57,760 a little bit more. 142 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:58,300 I hope the hell is going to be 143 00:05:58,300 --> 00:05:58,760 a little bit more. 144 00:05:58,760 --> 00:05:59,300 I hope the hell is going to be 145 00:05:59,300 --> 00:05:59,760 a little bit more. 146 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,300 I hope the hell is going to be 147 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:00,760 a little bit more. 148 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,300 I hope the hell is going to be 149 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:01,760 a little bit more. 150 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,300 I hope the hell is going to be 151 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:02,760 a little bit more. 152 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:03,300 I hope the hell is going to be 153 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:03,760 a little bit more. 154 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,300 I hope the hell is going to be 155 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:04,760 a little bit more. 156 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:05,300 I hope the hell is going to be 157 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:05,760 a little bit more. 158 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:15,500 I hope the hell is going to be 159 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:22,760 a little bit more. 160 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,600 I hope the hell is going to be 161 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,760 a little bit more. 162 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:46,760 Yes. 163 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:55,060 Mr Greenwood, tonight's the 164 00:06:55,060 --> 00:07:00,880 counterfeiters who are out to 165 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,020 con you on the run-up to 166 00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:02,760 Christmas. 167 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,520 Hit me sharply lively before 168 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,760 the policeman stops. 169 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,170 What do you want to take? Where 170 00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:10,760 do you think you are? 171 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,680 Already, I hate this. I don't... 172 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,080 I'm getting bad vibes off of 173 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:15,760 this one. 174 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,810 Hopefully it doesn't have any 175 00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:19,780 heavy violence that has to be 176 00:07:19,780 --> 00:07:20,760 censored. 177 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:25,320 Like, Georgie Pie, my sweet 178 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,760 Georgie Pie. 179 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,950 Thank you very much there, Anonymous, 180 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,760 for the tip. 181 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:35,810 And the Paddock family and Omar 182 00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:40,760 and Conrad and Bobby Tesco. 183 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,760 Thank you very much there. 184 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,070 You should watch Fernando Mendoza's 185 00:07:45,070 --> 00:07:46,940 post-game interview from the 186 00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:47,760 weekend. 187 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,290 I can't just jet. It's a fast 188 00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:54,760 blast cook report situation. 189 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,310 And you know that there's going 190 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,760 to be some good stuff in it. 191 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,840 As I said, hopefully it's not 192 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,840 going to be a censor situation 193 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,800 where I have to cover up a load 194 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,760 of stuff. 195 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,760 But it's about counterfeiters. 196 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,250 It has an AI thumbnail of Del 197 00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,760 Boy from Only Fools and Horses. 198 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,760 It could be good. 199 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,030 Christian Irwin, thank you very, 200 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:17,760 very much there. 201 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,760 Mendoza. 202 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:19,760 Mendoza. 203 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,880 We hired our own Del Boy and 204 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:22,760 Rodney. 205 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,760 Mendoza. 206 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:24,850 Loaded up a van with counterfeit 207 00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:25,760 goods and hit the road. 208 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:26,760 Lovely. 209 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,760 I don't like... 210 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,760 Please be careful. 211 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,760 Please be careful, Tim Reedy. 212 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,760 Thank you very much. 213 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,520 I don't like the way that they've 214 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:35,760 changed the music. 215 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:36,760 What year is this from? 216 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:37,760 1997. 217 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,580 So we've taken a big leap 218 00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:42,540 because I think it was 1992 or 219 00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:45,760 1 with the triads in Manchester. 220 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,760 But this could be good. 221 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,460 But I mean, why did they change 222 00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:52,030 that theme tune with the door 223 00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:53,760 knock on the fucking intro? 224 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:54,760 It was fantastic. 225 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,850 Counterfeit goods and hit the 226 00:08:57,850 --> 00:08:58,760 road. 227 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:04,760 I like that bit. 228 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:05,760 Woohoo! 229 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,100 F*** off from that f***ing side 230 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:08,760 door. 231 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:10,760 F*** off. 232 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,760 Good stuff. 233 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:18,830 I actually am warming to that 234 00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:19,640 title sequence 235 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,010 and I like the way they still 236 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:21,280 have 237 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:22,960 a title sequence 238 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,720 with a bit of bother in it 239 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,310 and then they go back to a 240 00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:27,400 final bit 241 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,920 a crescendo of the title 242 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:29,580 sequence 243 00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:38,880 Are you fuck off? 244 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:39,460 And then 245 00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:45,450 I mean I don't need to repeat 246 00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:46,020 it 247 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,740 but it was good 248 00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:48,760 And hit the road 249 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:58,870 F*** off from that f***ing 250 00:09:58,870 --> 00:09:59,460 sound door 251 00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:01,060 F*** off 252 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:08,320 F*** off from that f***ing 253 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,360 sound door 254 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,060 What's up? 255 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,280 On board this ferry 256 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:19,040 The P&O ferry 257 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,280 where is that coming from? 258 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:20,960 Are going to 259 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:21,960 Is it Hollyhead? 260 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,500 Is it going to Wales? 261 00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:24,260 Is it going to 262 00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,320 Is it in Ireland? 263 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:27,130 Are they starting off in 264 00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:27,580 Ireland? 265 00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:29,060 Are they going to be in France? 266 00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,300 Is it coming from Spain? 267 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,940 Thank you very much there 268 00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:32,680 Brent Eagle 269 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,020 and got to go 270 00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,420 Got to pick up a pizza 271 00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:36,390 You greatly enhanced your 272 00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:36,860 reputation 273 00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:39,600 How about you? 274 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:40,940 Paul Meskel 275 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,020 Thank you very much 276 00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,420 He seems to know it's waiting 277 00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:47,380 On board this ferry 278 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,820 about to dock in Scotland 279 00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:50,520 is a boatload of trouble 280 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,620 Six men from Northern Ireland 281 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,680 are coming to the mainland 282 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,520 to buy tens of thousands of 283 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,340 pounds worth 284 00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,700 of fake goods 285 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,280 They're heading to the mainland. 286 00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:04,640 It's probably Larn to Troon in 287 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,180 Scotland or Stranra. 288 00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,970 To catch them as they arrive in 289 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,740 Tootons to take delivery. 290 00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:14,100 In Tootons. In Tootons. 291 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:15,810 The Cook Report is here to 292 00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:18,340 catch them as they arrive in Tootons 293 00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:20,310 to take delivery at an isolated 294 00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:21,040 lay-by. 295 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,240 It was a bit of a jump there on 296 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,960 the VHS Tootons. In two vans, 297 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:26,660 is it? 298 00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:29,120 Of fake goods. 299 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:31,130 The Cook Report is here to 300 00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:34,000 catch them as they arrive in Tootons 301 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,490 to take delivery at an isolated 302 00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:37,500 lay-by. 303 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,080 Maybe that's what they used to 304 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,460 call arriving in two vans back 305 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:41,160 in the day. 306 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,570 We're gonna arrive in Tootons 307 00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,080 and fucking jump them when they 308 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,400 get off the boat, man. 309 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:47,940 We've got a couple of Tootons. 310 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,860 That's the two Tootons there. 311 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,460 Or just, that's the Tootin. 312 00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:57,730 There's no two Tootons. There's 313 00:11:57,730 --> 00:11:58,860 only one Tootin there. 314 00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:00,890 One Tootin is two white vans 315 00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:01,920 full of lads. 316 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,240 The Desmond Tootons. 317 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:05,990 The Cook Report is here to 318 00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:08,440 catch them as they arrive in Tootons 319 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,590 to take delivery at an isolated 320 00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:11,500 lay-by. 321 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,340 Which one's with? 322 00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:16,520 Who's the dodgy crew? 323 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:16,900 Is this... 324 00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:18,750 Are these the Tootons on the 325 00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:21,280 right entering from stage right? 326 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,140 Or is Kooky and the boys on the 327 00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:25,220 left here? 328 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,180 I think the music is meant to 329 00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:32,150 underscore that this is gonna 330 00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:34,180 be a nice, pleasant exchange 331 00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:36,580 between some friendly people. 332 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:37,580 Take delivery. 333 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:38,660 BOOM! 334 00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:41,880 Tonight on rock bottom. 335 00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:43,720 At an isolated lay-by. 336 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:46,960 Are you alright, Davey, anyway? 337 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,810 This is the culmination of a 338 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,200 four-month investment. 339 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,340 We've got a lovely jumper 340 00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:51,820 already. 341 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,520 The jacket is fantastic. 342 00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,260 I like that jacket. 343 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,220 Get them while you can. 344 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:57,040 Yeah. 345 00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:57,660 Yeah. 346 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,340 Today is the last day for Roger 347 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:02,140 Cook's hot dogs. 348 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:03,920 Get them while you can. 349 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,660 Thank you very much, Joey the Lips. 350 00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:08,560 And look at that. 351 00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:10,630 I like the wind sweep on the 352 00:13:10,630 --> 00:13:13,160 bottom of that jacket there. 353 00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:15,020 He cuts a tall figure. 354 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,200 He's a bit of a beam pole. 355 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,190 And he's got a massive 356 00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:20,220 sovereign ring on. 357 00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:23,200 That's a strong clasping shake. 358 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,800 And a lovely pattern on the 359 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,480 jumper. 360 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,360 It's a nice pattern. 361 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:28,920 But is he a nice man? 362 00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:29,760 We'll see. 363 00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:31,580 Only time will tell. 364 00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:33,020 This is the culmination of a 365 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,840 four-month investigation into 366 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,870 one of Britain's fastest-growing 367 00:13:36,870 --> 00:13:38,560 crimes, counterfeiting. 368 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:40,580 Tonight, the Cook Report sets 369 00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:43,020 up its own counterfeit business. 370 00:13:43,180 --> 00:13:44,580 Beautiful sweep of the court. 371 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,180 And it's a cold day. 372 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,520 It's a cold bit of business, as 373 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,990 exemplified by the vigorous 374 00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:53,430 hand-rubbing from Mr. Sovereign 375 00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:54,280 there. 376 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:55,750 And lifts the shutters on 377 00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:56,940 manufacturing. 378 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,620 Villain synths. 379 00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,380 ...traders who are out to dupe 380 00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:04,140 the public. 381 00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,190 People like convicted criminal 382 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:08,170 David Campbell, who wanted up 383 00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:10,480 to a million pounds worth of so-called 384 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,180 bookie gear every year. 385 00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:14,890 Mohammed Balal and his partner 386 00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:17,600 Salim Patel from Preston, who 387 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,230 deal in drugs, guns, stolen 388 00:14:20,230 --> 00:14:23,540 cars, and counterfeit clothing. 389 00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:27,180 Good fellas. 390 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,110 Ibrahim Badgit, a successful 391 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,130 jeans manufacturer, also from 392 00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:31,940 Preston. 393 00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:32,500 Ibrahim! 394 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,320 He and his son Imran will make 395 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,220 us thousands of fake designer 396 00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:38,280 jeans, no questions asked. 397 00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:40,470 And from this husband and wife 398 00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,850 team, we're ordering designer 399 00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:44,120 sportswear. 400 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,230 All fake and strictly against 401 00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:47,020 the law. 402 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,160 Strictly business. 403 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,270 Counterfeiting is an enormous 404 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:52,840 problem. 405 00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,720 Look, we've all been there. 406 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:55,140 It's estimated that it's up to 407 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:55,640 10% of world trade. 408 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,320 I'd say we've all been there. 409 00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,140 We can't play the fucking moral 410 00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:00,100 high ground. 411 00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:03,140 I've worn stuff that wasn't 412 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:04,700 real before. 413 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:06,200 We've all been there. 414 00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,460 So I can't really say, yeah, 415 00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,420 Roger, go after them. 416 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,940 But look, let's see. 417 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,190 Maybe this will make me change 418 00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:16,020 my ways. 419 00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:17,300 And let's just say I have 420 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:18,400 changed my ways. 421 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,420 That was all in the past. 422 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,480 I don't do that anymore. 423 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,570 And there's going evidence that 424 00:15:22,570 --> 00:15:24,720 it's linked to organized crime, 425 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,840 drug dealing, gun running, and 426 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:27,600 money laundering. 427 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,410 This colossal warehouse is 428 00:15:31,410 --> 00:15:33,420 literally lined with fakes. 429 00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:35,030 The spoils of the biggest ever 430 00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,580 customs and excise raid. 431 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,150 Pair of fucking Calvin clones 432 00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,740 or Tommy Sport. 433 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,220 Tommy Sport. 434 00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,380 On the counterfeiters. 435 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,880 The counterfeiters for their 436 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,260 part, having invested the 437 00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:51,900 proceeds of organized crime, 438 00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:54,090 stood to make a cool 20 million 439 00:15:54,090 --> 00:15:54,820 pounds. 440 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,330 And the range of fake goods on 441 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,160 offer is quite extraordinary. 442 00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,140 Wow, look. 443 00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:02,390 Nick Faldo signature Pringle 444 00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:04,880 sports collection. 445 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,890 Clothing like Pringle sweaters 446 00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:08,680 here with authentic looking 447 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,320 Nick Faldo packaging. 448 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,140 Timbaland, if you like it. 449 00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:13,310 Almost any of the big brand 450 00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:13,780 names. 451 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,340 If you like it. 452 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,460 We've got lookaging. 453 00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:17,280 Timbaland, if you like it. 454 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,780 Almost any of the big brand 455 00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:20,680 names. 456 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,240 Nick Faldo packaging. 457 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,080 Timbaland, if you like it. 458 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,240 Almost any of the big brand 459 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:25,700 names. 460 00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:27,780 We've got Louis Vuitton leather 461 00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:28,800 goods here. 462 00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:29,720 Louis Vuitton. 463 00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,160 Almost any of the big brand 464 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,100 names. 465 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,940 He's good, isn't he? 466 00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:36,380 He's like a dealer. 467 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,230 Louis Vuitton leather goods 468 00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:38,800 here. 469 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:39,560 Purses. 470 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:40,680 Backgammon sets. 471 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:42,020 Backgammon. 472 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:42,480 Chanel. 473 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,080 Who the fuck is buying backgammon 474 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,300 sets down the market? 475 00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:47,620 Is it a Christmas stuff? 476 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,140 Georgie pie. 477 00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:49,140 Georgie pie. 478 00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:50,300 Georgieniel. 479 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:50,980 Here. 480 00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:51,780 Purses. 481 00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:52,900 Backgammon sets. 482 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:54,020 Perfume. 483 00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:54,700 Chanel. 484 00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:55,920 Georgio. 485 00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:56,580 Watch. 486 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:57,580 Georgio. 487 00:16:57,740 --> 00:16:59,080 Tag Heuer. 488 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,800 Ladies and gentlemen. 489 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,760 Even Pringle watches there. 490 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,440 But perhaps cheekiest of all. 491 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:04,920 Cheeky. 492 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:05,880 Fendi pen. 493 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,560 The counterfeiters have even 494 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,370 chosen to reproduce the Harrods 495 00:17:09,370 --> 00:17:10,120 barcode. 496 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:10,640 Ooh. 497 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,980 Stick a pony in my pocket. 498 00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:19,830 To infiltrate the counterfeiting 499 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,460 underworld, two Cook Report 500 00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:23,240 researchers doubled as Del Boy 501 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:23,880 and Rodney. 502 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,210 Like their television 503 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,170 counterparts, they put the word 504 00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,920 out that we have hooky gear for 505 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:29,440 sale. 506 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,540 Here it comes from It's a 507 00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:32,660 Mystery. 508 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,940 Guillaume Benoit. 509 00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,280 Thank you very, very much. 510 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,170 Changing the levels of seasons 511 00:17:39,170 --> 00:17:41,680 and the tides of the sea. 512 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,020 With the help of trading 513 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,700 standards, we load up our van 514 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:46,920 with goods and advertise our wares. 515 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,790 Within days, the orders are 516 00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:56,820 flooding in, and we hit the 517 00:17:56,820 --> 00:18:02,520 road to meet our customers. 518 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,610 Preston is the jeans 519 00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:05,040 manufacturing capital of 520 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,780 Britain, but millions of hooky 521 00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:07,380 garments 522 00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:09,720 are also made here every year, 523 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,680 many going for export. 524 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,730 Among the Count of the Kings is 525 00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:15,950 Ibrahim Budget. He's about to 526 00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:17,880 do a deal with a big foreign 527 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:26,680 buyer, or so he thinks. 528 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,480 Is that like a name, like a 529 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,640 market name, a branding name 530 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,950 when he's down the market? Like 531 00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:34,680 if you're on a bit of a budget, 532 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,640 come to Ibrahim Budget and he 533 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,610 will sell you those goods at a 534 00:18:38,610 --> 00:18:39,680 nice price. 535 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,070 And Ibrahim tell our team they 536 00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:44,380 can supply Versace, Calvin 537 00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:46,680 Klein, Armani and Levi. 538 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,780 Each sample in the same fit. On 539 00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:50,820 the 501 fit? On the 501 fit. 540 00:18:50,820 --> 00:18:52,730 Different kit, different power. 541 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:54,680 On the 501 fit. 542 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,760 Market design, different 543 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,270 everything. Diesel. Okay. But 544 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,680 the fit's same. Okay, fine. 545 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,540 Bhajit warns us it's a risky 546 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,520 business. 547 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,800 We got trading standard people. 548 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,540 They come every two, three 549 00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:06,180 weeks. 550 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:08,250 Nevertheless, the deal is done. 551 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,940 Bhajit then reveals another 552 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,860 string to his criminal bow. 553 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,780 He wants paying, not in hard 554 00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:15,640 cash, but in hard drugs. 555 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,500 Thank you very much there, Dropbox. 556 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,730 And I'm Mr. Williams. Failed to 557 00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:20,440 show this morning. 558 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,840 Let him know. I will do. Thank 559 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,720 you very much. I'll click that 560 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,270 link in a bit after this 561 00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:28,280 situation. 562 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,200 Thank you very much. It's black 563 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,490 road. Possibly. Possibly. How 564 00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:37,370 much? If we do a deal, you want 565 00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:42,310 to get paid on... On the jeans, 566 00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:43,300 yes. 567 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:46,380 A hotel car park on the Yorkshire 568 00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:49,230 moors. And one of a series of 569 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:53,780 meetings with Mahat. I like 570 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:57,880 this secret filming. 571 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,840 Adi Haas. He shows us a sample 572 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,950 of the fake Adidas sweatshirts, 573 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,120 which cram the back of his van. 574 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,370 Adi Haas. We've been 575 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,000 negotiating with him and his 576 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,950 business partner, Salim Patel, 577 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:09,900 for weeks. 578 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,900 That's good. That's good. Now. 579 00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:17,460 They'll make 5,000 pairs of 580 00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:19,770 fake jeans every week, and they 581 00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:20,900 bring a sample. 582 00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,900 Adi Blast. 583 00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,440 In three days. This is the 584 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,180 fastest one that we could do. 585 00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:27,520 But obviously, to your 586 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,140 specification... 587 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,660 Like Imran Badgit, they want 588 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:31,140 drugs. 589 00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,440 But they also want stolen cars, 590 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,630 and even guns, and they'd like 591 00:20:35,630 --> 00:20:37,140 us to supply them. 592 00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:39,140 They want pain in drugs. 593 00:20:39,140 --> 00:20:53,860 With bullets? 594 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,350 And then such a dark scenes 595 00:20:58,350 --> 00:20:59,200 there 596 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,980 and then it cuts to the nice 597 00:21:00,980 --> 00:21:01,420 upbeat 598 00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:05,140 La la la la la la la la la 599 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,940 Well does the bullets come with 600 00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:09,180 the gun at all? 601 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,790 Can you have bullets in the gun 602 00:21:11,790 --> 00:21:13,440 as well please? 603 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,580 Captus thank you very much 604 00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:18,000 Are bullets included or? 605 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,600 Bullets sold separately I see 606 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:20,960 okay 607 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,340 Well look it's a great deal 608 00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:26,220 Sweaters for bullets for guns 609 00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:30,940 Delivered inside the UK 610 00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:31,540 Go to money? 611 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:32,480 Yeah 612 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,380 Go to money 613 00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:34,560 Any comments? 614 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,320 Meanwhile as our Delboy and Rodney 615 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,880 clock up the miles 616 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,480 they're also clocking up the 617 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:43,940 business 618 00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:47,520 This is gym owner Andy Ardle 619 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,060 He's a man who knows what he 620 00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:49,420 wants 621 00:21:49,420 --> 00:21:51,080 10 Versace jeans 622 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,500 20 perfume mixed 623 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,620 10 sweatshirts mixed 624 00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:57,900 Okay then Andy 625 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:58,280 Bye 626 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:02,320 10 Versace jeans 627 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,220 20 perfume mixed 628 00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:06,200 10 sweatshirts mixed 629 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:11,180 La la la la la la la la la la 630 00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:12,380 la la la la la la la la la la 631 00:22:12,380 --> 00:22:13,580 la la la la la la la la la la 632 00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:14,780 la la la la la la la la la la 633 00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:15,990 la la la la la la la la la la 634 00:22:15,990 --> 00:22:17,210 la la la la la la la la la la 635 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:18,380 la la la la la la la la la la 636 00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:19,580 la la la la la la la la la la 637 00:22:19,580 --> 00:22:20,780 la la la la la la la la la la 638 00:22:20,780 --> 00:22:21,980 la la la la la la la la la la 639 00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:23,240 la la la la la la la la la la 640 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,380 la la la la la la la la la la 641 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,580 la la la la la la la la la la 642 00:22:25,580 --> 00:22:26,840 la la la la la la la la la la 643 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:27,980 la la la la la la la la la la 644 00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,170 la la la la la la la la la la 645 00:22:29,170 --> 00:22:30,380 la la la la la la la la la la 646 00:22:30,380 --> 00:22:31,580 la la la la la la la la la la 647 00:22:31,580 --> 00:22:32,780 la la la la la la la la la la 648 00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:33,980 la la la la la la la la la la 649 00:22:33,980 --> 00:22:35,180 la la la la la la la la la la 650 00:22:35,180 --> 00:22:36,200 la la la la la la la la la 651 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:36,920 Please or whatever. 652 00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:39,860 I'll tell you what I'm looking 653 00:22:39,860 --> 00:22:40,600 for. 654 00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:41,900 We'll smother you. 655 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:43,720 Do you know the ones with the... 656 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,320 Thank you very much there, Kiki. 657 00:22:45,660 --> 00:22:46,280 Steve Hammer. 658 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,230 Absolutely loving the Pollard 659 00:22:48,230 --> 00:22:49,020 streams. 660 00:22:49,540 --> 00:22:50,360 Pollard streams. 661 00:22:50,460 --> 00:22:51,120 I don't know what they are. 662 00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:52,480 Were you hoodwinked by someone 663 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,800 selling dodgy stuff in Dublin 664 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,360 before? 665 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:55,240 Chris the Cracker. 666 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,360 Yeah, the ones with Adidas on... 667 00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:58,740 Maybe so on Henry Street. 668 00:22:58,740 --> 00:22:59,420 If you need an... 669 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,320 Umbro and that, you know? 670 00:23:00,340 --> 00:23:01,680 If you need an Adidas... 671 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:01,880 Yeah. 672 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,020 I'm doing... 673 00:23:03,020 --> 00:23:03,220 Yeah. 674 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,120 And make an order. 675 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:06,340 Only make an order. 676 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:06,960 Fake, yeah. 677 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,500 If you do the order... 678 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:09,820 Then I will keep ready. 679 00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:11,300 They're snide, yeah? 680 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:11,800 Yeah. 681 00:23:11,940 --> 00:23:12,440 Yeah, yeah. 682 00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:13,400 So what do you do? 683 00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:13,880 Adidas? 684 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:14,680 Umbro? 685 00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:16,240 What does he mean when he says 686 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,240 they're snide? 687 00:23:17,420 --> 00:23:18,100 They're snide, yeah? 688 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,340 Are they gonna be snide? 689 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:21,470 Are the stuff that you're 690 00:23:21,470 --> 00:23:22,760 selling me snide, is it? 691 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:23,920 Yeah. 692 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:24,580 Yeah, yeah. 693 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,540 So what do you do? 694 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:25,760 Adidas? 695 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,120 Gajie. 696 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:26,920 Hooky. 697 00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:28,100 Okay, I didn't know that. 698 00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:28,380 Umbro. 699 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,000 Adidas anything. 700 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:29,560 Pima. 701 00:23:29,860 --> 00:23:30,060 Any. 702 00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:31,300 Any. 703 00:23:31,420 --> 00:23:32,060 I'll show you one. 704 00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:32,240 Yeah. 705 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,840 Despite the Christmas rush... 706 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,340 For genuine orders, the Singhs 707 00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:37,560 are not averse to... 708 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,150 I thought snidey means like, oh, 709 00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:40,000 he's a bit sly. 710 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,780 I suppose it would work, yeah. 711 00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:42,880 Double dealing. 712 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,470 They'll fit in our order for so-called 713 00:23:45,470 --> 00:23:47,120 snide or dodgy gear. 714 00:23:47,180 --> 00:23:48,260 Snide. 715 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:48,760 Snide. 716 00:23:48,760 --> 00:24:01,680 The lovely ferry. 717 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,120 Lan in Northern Ireland. 718 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,620 Years ago, I was Chinese. 719 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,020 Thank you very much there, Bob 720 00:24:12,020 --> 00:24:12,580 Urto. 721 00:24:12,580 --> 00:24:14,980 And Kiki Stiefhammer. 722 00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:16,240 All right. 723 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:16,820 Hi. 724 00:24:17,180 --> 00:24:18,430 And the Campbell brothers are 725 00:24:18,430 --> 00:24:19,260 in the soup. 726 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:19,960 Here we go. 727 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,660 They've been pleading for days 728 00:24:21,660 --> 00:24:23,360 to see our hooky samples, so we 729 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:24,760 make a home delivery. 730 00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:26,360 Campbells are after you. 731 00:24:26,860 --> 00:24:28,840 And it's a nice collar over 732 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,580 that jumper as well. 733 00:24:30,580 --> 00:24:32,670 That would have took a little 734 00:24:32,670 --> 00:24:36,140 bit of an arrangement, a pre-arrangement. 735 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:37,480 Yeah. 736 00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:40,270 Andy Campbell is keen to unload 737 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,720 the car and get our fakes out 738 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,340 of sight into his brother's 739 00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:46,400 kitchen. 740 00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:52,310 David spells out the realities 741 00:24:52,310 --> 00:24:53,860 of operating in a business. 742 00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,780 He's some shapers, David. 743 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,230 They're favoured by paramilitary 744 00:24:57,230 --> 00:24:57,840 terrorists. 745 00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:58,460 Fuck. 746 00:24:58,720 --> 00:24:59,960 He explains he daren't undercut 747 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:00,400 them. 748 00:25:01,380 --> 00:25:02,140 Well, I don't bother me. 749 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,100 They don't bother me much, but 750 00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:04,120 they would warn you, first of 751 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:04,720 all, you know. 752 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:05,240 All right. 753 00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:05,860 I don't give a fuck. 754 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,020 I just do my own thing. 755 00:25:07,140 --> 00:25:07,880 I don't give a fuck. 756 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:08,380 I don't give a fuck. 757 00:25:08,380 --> 00:25:08,620 I don't give a fuck. 758 00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:09,420 That's all I do. 759 00:25:10,020 --> 00:25:11,020 Will and Dale's all I do. 760 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,860 Minutes later, over mugs of 761 00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:14,960 coffee, they count out how many 762 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:15,680 items. 763 00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:17,260 He's got a little notepad. 764 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:18,080 He's got a ledger. 765 00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:21,210 It's just an ordinary run-of-the-mill 766 00:25:21,210 --> 00:25:22,760 living room situation. 767 00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:26,820 Tea or coffee on tap, on tick. 768 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:28,340 I do. 769 00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:29,880 And the washing line and all 770 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:30,920 that business. 771 00:25:30,980 --> 00:25:31,860 I do the only thing, I know it. 772 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,800 I don't give a fuck in life. 773 00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:35,600 That's all I do. 774 00:25:36,180 --> 00:25:37,180 Will and Dale's all I do. 775 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,960 Minutes later, over mugs of 776 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,970 coffee, they count out how many 777 00:25:40,970 --> 00:25:42,520 items we've brought. 778 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,940 With an extensive network of 779 00:25:47,940 --> 00:25:52,200 dealers to supply, they're more 780 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,800 interested in the quantity than 781 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:57,340 the quality. 782 00:25:57,340 --> 00:25:58,640 Yeah, pink shorts. 783 00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:00,280 Very handy. 784 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:01,400 There's your nest. 785 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:02,420 There's my few. 786 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:03,580 Good talking. 787 00:26:03,580 --> 00:26:06,200 Like an office. 788 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,320 Phones going. 789 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,320 Business is booming. 790 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,590 And a lovely, lovely vase as 791 00:26:12,590 --> 00:26:13,020 well. 792 00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:16,020 Just on the shelf there. 793 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:17,630 Probably some place for the 794 00:26:17,630 --> 00:26:19,380 keys and other bits and pieces 795 00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:20,180 next to it. 796 00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:21,920 It's probably loads of coins. 797 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,110 Like old copper coins inside 798 00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:24,620 that. 799 00:26:26,740 --> 00:26:27,600 Warning his... 800 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:28,960 And then some fabric softener 801 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:29,360 as well. 802 00:26:29,420 --> 00:26:30,980 Maybe they're washing the 803 00:26:30,980 --> 00:26:33,080 garments while they're there. 804 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,320 Or this is just someone's... 805 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,620 Maybe this is just his house. 806 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,160 Son, not to say a word about 807 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:37,900 the deal. 808 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:39,490 David Campbell counts out the 809 00:26:39,490 --> 00:26:39,980 cash. 810 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:42,460 Two. 811 00:26:44,460 --> 00:26:45,460 More than sat... 812 00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:46,860 The sound of that cash. 813 00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:48,900 That's a lot of notes. 814 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:50,920 Making his son not to say a 815 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,470 word about the deal, David 816 00:26:52,470 --> 00:26:54,200 Campbell counts out the cash. 817 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:56,720 Two. 818 00:26:58,460 --> 00:26:58,820 Three. 819 00:26:58,820 --> 00:27:00,380 More than satisfied, the 820 00:27:00,380 --> 00:27:01,800 Campbells ask for a weekly 821 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,410 supply of boots, jumpers, 822 00:27:03,410 --> 00:27:05,040 sweatshirts and tracksuits 823 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,780 worth £25,000. 824 00:27:07,620 --> 00:27:08,850 But David Campbell doesn't want 825 00:27:08,850 --> 00:27:10,600 deliveries to his home. 826 00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:12,620 I've arranged a spot for it. 827 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:13,540 I can't bring it. 828 00:27:13,780 --> 00:27:14,510 I've got a piece of that in my 829 00:27:14,510 --> 00:27:14,900 house. 830 00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:16,180 I'd love to f*** another one. 831 00:27:16,180 --> 00:27:16,320 Yeah. 832 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:16,920 You know what I mean? 833 00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:17,660 What's the chance of you 834 00:27:17,660 --> 00:27:18,520 picking up in the show? 835 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:18,800 You're right. 836 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:22,210 For our Del Boy and Rodney, it's 837 00:27:22,210 --> 00:27:25,800 been lovely jubbly all the way. 838 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,560 Our order book is bursting. 839 00:27:30,140 --> 00:27:31,460 I've got a few kickers. 840 00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:33,160 Chris Sedgwick and his mate 841 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,500 Alex manage a hotel near Sudbury. 842 00:27:36,060 --> 00:27:38,150 They put in an order for £2,000, 843 00:27:38,150 --> 00:27:40,020 saying they'll get students to 844 00:27:40,020 --> 00:27:41,360 sell it as stolen. 845 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:41,880 Mixed box. 846 00:27:42,100 --> 00:27:42,880 Yeah, do a mix box. 847 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:45,040 After just a week of dodgy 848 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,930 wheeling and dealing, our hooky 849 00:27:47,930 --> 00:27:52,380 order book has passed the £650,000 850 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:53,260 mark. 851 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,300 The counterfeit con men are 852 00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:58,240 making a fortune. 853 00:27:58,460 --> 00:27:59,240 Thank you very much. 854 00:27:59,240 --> 00:27:59,860 Remember Imran Baj... 855 00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,300 Darren Mack. 856 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,610 He wanted drugs in exchange for 857 00:28:03,610 --> 00:28:04,360 jeans. 858 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:04,980 What do you need? 859 00:28:05,460 --> 00:28:05,980 Right, good. 860 00:28:06,820 --> 00:28:07,380 What's he gonna know? 861 00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:09,880 But he's about to get more than 862 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,600 he bargained for. 863 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,080 A great deal of kickers jeans 864 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,740 for a box of heroin. 865 00:28:17,740 --> 00:28:18,910 Imran Bajet, Roger Cook, 866 00:28:18,910 --> 00:28:20,060 Central Television. 867 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:21,430 I want to talk to you about 868 00:28:21,430 --> 00:28:22,960 drug dealing and counterfeit 869 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:23,560 jeans. 870 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,320 You are offering up to £4,000. 871 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:30,440 Thank you very much there, 872 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:31,580 Colin. 873 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,250 I would love to know the size, 874 00:28:33,250 --> 00:28:35,130 says Colin, thanks for the tip, 875 00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:36,900 of those hidden body cams these 876 00:28:36,900 --> 00:28:37,480 books used to wear. 877 00:28:37,540 --> 00:28:38,340 They're not GoPro. 878 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,470 They wouldn't be GoPro size at 879 00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:42,220 all. 880 00:28:42,860 --> 00:28:44,700 It would be like the one that 881 00:28:44,700 --> 00:28:46,300 Homer had to wear in that 882 00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:48,470 oversized Stetson hat when they 883 00:28:48,470 --> 00:28:50,660 had to get him to go into Apu's 884 00:28:50,660 --> 00:28:51,140 shop. 885 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:52,950 But that was a nice little move 886 00:28:52,950 --> 00:28:53,560 there. 887 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,540 Look, he gave him the old 888 00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:58,380 fucking 180 degree side spin 889 00:28:58,380 --> 00:28:59,580 sweep lock. 890 00:29:00,620 --> 00:29:01,560 Which is... 891 00:29:03,940 --> 00:29:04,850 He does like a little back up 892 00:29:04,850 --> 00:29:07,060 and then see ya. 893 00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:08,800 Although look, he's grabbing 894 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,270 something out the hand of your 895 00:29:10,270 --> 00:29:11,060 man there. 896 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,200 Maybe the... 897 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,690 There's another fella who's in 898 00:29:14,690 --> 00:29:15,160 on it. 899 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,180 Schnuffles, thank you very much. 900 00:29:17,260 --> 00:29:18,140 And Captain Sack. 901 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:18,980 For jeans. 902 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:21,820 You were offering up to 4,000 903 00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:23,440 pairs of jeans a week in 904 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,320 exchange for cocaine. 905 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:26,860 Weren't you? 906 00:29:28,140 --> 00:29:28,780 Get away the... 907 00:29:28,780 --> 00:29:30,910 In part two, we stir up trouble 908 00:29:30,910 --> 00:29:32,820 for the Campbells and other 909 00:29:32,820 --> 00:29:33,820 villains. 910 00:29:33,820 --> 00:29:34,540 Come on. 911 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:39,870 I think he might have had a few 912 00:29:39,870 --> 00:29:41,700 on him. 913 00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:43,920 Change for cocaine. 914 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,360 But I like the little run that 915 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:46,520 this guy does here. 916 00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:48,820 It's like a little hop, skip 917 00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:50,720 situation extraordinaire. 918 00:29:51,620 --> 00:29:53,100 I wonder if there's any nice 919 00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:55,410 music for that there that I 920 00:29:55,410 --> 00:29:56,180 have. 921 00:29:56,220 --> 00:29:57,390 I don't want to waste too much 922 00:29:57,390 --> 00:29:58,720 time looking for the music. 923 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:01,680 Moonlight Sonata. 924 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,280 I don't know if that would fit. 925 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,780 But we'll play it anyway. 926 00:30:04,860 --> 00:30:05,500 It might work. 927 00:30:06,540 --> 00:30:07,900 If it plays, that is. 928 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:10,440 And then over to this. 929 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,820 A capoeira move. 930 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,660 Out of the lock. 931 00:30:16,660 --> 00:30:29,860 Offering up to 4,000 pairs of 932 00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:39,630 jeans a week in exchange for 933 00:30:39,630 --> 00:30:43,120 cocaine. 934 00:30:43,120 --> 00:31:00,790 In part two, we stir up trouble 935 00:31:00,790 --> 00:31:13,100 for the Campbells. 936 00:31:13,100 --> 00:31:13,880 and other villains. 937 00:31:14,140 --> 00:31:14,580 Come on. 938 00:31:14,820 --> 00:31:16,520 F*** off you, you f***ing jatsy. 939 00:31:17,260 --> 00:31:18,700 F*** out of us. 940 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:20,700 And we find out that on Hooky 941 00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:22,100 Street... 942 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,540 Nothing is as it seems. 943 00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:28,100 That's great. 944 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:28,840 Great job. 945 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:29,480 What was that? 946 00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:33,030 I wonder if they have to get a 947 00:31:33,030 --> 00:31:33,940 twin. 948 00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:35,790 Did she have a twin for that 949 00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:37,780 little situation there? 950 00:31:38,140 --> 00:31:39,100 Willem de Friend, thank you 951 00:31:39,100 --> 00:31:39,740 very much. 952 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,440 Nothing is as it seems. 953 00:31:42,780 --> 00:31:43,100 Boom. 954 00:31:43,100 --> 00:31:43,160 Boom. 955 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:53,680 Please have the adverts in. 956 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:54,760 Please have the adverts in. 957 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:55,320 No. 958 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,040 Doesn't matter. 959 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:58,020 Still good. 960 00:31:58,020 --> 00:31:59,380 London's Oxford Street. 961 00:32:00,380 --> 00:32:01,580 A shopper's paradise. 962 00:32:05,500 --> 00:32:06,180 Some great... 963 00:32:06,180 --> 00:32:08,320 ...classic faces. 964 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:10,800 Faces from the past. 965 00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:14,160 That's a classic face. 966 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,160 Right there. 967 00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:20,820 Stanley Kubrick. 968 00:32:22,580 --> 00:32:23,660 Eyes wide shut. 969 00:32:25,620 --> 00:32:26,820 And was that a spit? 970 00:32:28,220 --> 00:32:28,700 Ugh. 971 00:32:28,940 --> 00:32:29,560 Look at that. 972 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:30,420 Look at... 973 00:32:30,420 --> 00:32:31,940 As we're looking at... 974 00:32:31,940 --> 00:32:32,940 Kubrick... 975 00:32:32,940 --> 00:32:34,040 ...slash... 976 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:34,940 ...Jerry Adams... 977 00:32:34,940 --> 00:32:37,140 Someone walks into shot... 978 00:32:37,140 --> 00:32:38,900 ...and just launches a growly... 979 00:32:38,900 --> 00:32:40,080 ...right in front of us. 980 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,060 Welcome to Growlywood. 981 00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:57,180 ...and a haven for the army of 982 00:32:57,180 --> 00:32:58,180 conmen... 983 00:32:58,180 --> 00:32:59,670 ...peddling fake perfume and 984 00:32:59,670 --> 00:33:00,260 clothing. 985 00:33:00,260 --> 00:33:02,260 Size of the fucking... 986 00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:05,200 ...the handfuls of dodgy... 987 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,480 ...Giorginio or... 988 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,260 ...Giorgio... 989 00:33:07,260 --> 00:33:10,260 ...into the Tesco bag... 990 00:33:10,260 --> 00:33:12,300 ...just as you like. 991 00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:13,080 There you go. 992 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:14,260 Pretty sharply lively... 993 00:33:14,780 --> 00:33:16,140 ...before the policemen stop. 994 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,160 Lovely stuff. 995 00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:18,300 Old school. 996 00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:19,500 Get it bought before the 997 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:20,720 fucking police come. 998 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:21,260 It's just... 999 00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,050 ...done like that out on the 1000 00:33:23,050 --> 00:33:23,660 street. 1001 00:33:23,660 --> 00:33:27,640 ...the music. 1002 00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:32,520 It's like Metal Gear. 1003 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,520 The music as Snake... 1004 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:35,960 ...has been launched... 1005 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,260 ...into Shadow Moses. 1006 00:33:37,540 --> 00:33:39,000 What's the insertion method? 1007 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,260 What's the... 1008 00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:42,720 ...what's the mission? 1009 00:33:43,660 --> 00:33:44,060 You... 1010 00:33:44,060 --> 00:33:45,840 ...you have to catch... 1011 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,260 ...all of these... 1012 00:33:47,260 --> 00:33:50,260 ...peddlers of Giorgio Armani... 1013 00:33:51,060 --> 00:33:52,280 ...fake perfume Snake. 1014 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,900 ...they say they're gonna sell... 1015 00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:56,240 ...Kicker's jeans for heroin. 1016 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:57,800 ...and if they don't... 1017 00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,860 ...they'll launch a nuke. 1018 00:34:00,180 --> 00:34:01,620 ...all weapons OSP. 1019 00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:03,940 ...this is a top secret... 1020 00:34:03,940 --> 00:34:05,140 ...black ops... 1021 00:34:05,140 --> 00:34:06,900 ...here Peter Greenwood is king. 1022 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:10,480 Greenwood is after you. 1023 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:11,500 On a good day... 1024 00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:12,140 ...he can make... 1025 00:34:12,140 --> 00:34:13,560 ...2,000 pounds an hour. 1026 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:14,940 ...what? 1027 00:34:16,260 --> 00:34:17,160 Fucking hell. 1028 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:18,880 That's in... 1029 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,960 ...in 1997 money as well. 1030 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,180 ...on a good day... 1031 00:34:22,180 --> 00:34:22,820 ...he can make... 1032 00:34:22,820 --> 00:34:24,280 ...2,000 pounds an hour. 1033 00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:25,960 ...I've infiltrated... 1034 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:26,660 ...Hookie Street. 1035 00:34:30,660 --> 00:34:32,180 ...on a good day... 1036 00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:32,780 ...he can make... 1037 00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:34,160 ...2,000 pounds an hour. 1038 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:41,500 ...one of his cohorts... 1039 00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:42,580 ...Robert Collins... 1040 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:43,500 ...sets out his... 1041 00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:44,380 ...makeshift stall. 1042 00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:46,420 Just outside McDonald's. 1043 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,040 No care... 1044 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:48,540 ...whatsoever. 1045 00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:50,020 Where were the police? 1046 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:50,760 Do you know... 1047 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,040 ...one of the busiest... 1048 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,920 ...shopping streets... 1049 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:54,760 ...if they said... 1050 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,520 ...it's Oxford Street... 1051 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:56,620 ...like that's one of the busiest... 1052 00:34:56,620 --> 00:34:56,960 ...isn't it? 1053 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,540 How would you get away... 1054 00:35:00,540 --> 00:35:01,420 ...with that sort of behaviour? 1055 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:04,840 One of his cohorts... 1056 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:05,700 ...Robert Collins... 1057 00:35:05,700 --> 00:35:06,740 ...sets out his... 1058 00:35:06,740 --> 00:35:07,680 ...makeshift stall. 1059 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:09,340 It's like a little... 1060 00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:10,600 ...close-up magic stand. 1061 00:35:10,660 --> 00:35:11,560 He's gonna start doing... 1062 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,560 ...the three-card shuffle. 1063 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:14,680 Find the lady. 1064 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,640 Collins has a tendency... 1065 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:17,960 ...to turn nasty... 1066 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:18,620 ...with all customers. 1067 00:35:19,060 --> 00:35:19,340 Brilliant. 1068 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:20,960 Look at that... 1069 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,020 ...underneath the table look. 1070 00:35:22,060 --> 00:35:22,560 He lifts it up. 1071 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:24,080 He's got a little... 1072 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:24,840 ...fucking bin... 1073 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,360 ...or a little bucket of stuff. 1074 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,480 So I suppose... 1075 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,520 ...if shit hits the fan... 1076 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:31,880 ...that little top bit... 1077 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,160 ...of the table can just... 1078 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,840 ...that'll just be thrown away... 1079 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:35,340 ...discarded. 1080 00:35:36,460 --> 00:35:37,180 And it'll... 1081 00:35:37,180 --> 00:35:37,500 ...all... 1082 00:35:37,500 --> 00:35:38,780 ...all operations then... 1083 00:35:38,780 --> 00:35:40,140 ...will be focused on... 1084 00:35:40,140 --> 00:35:41,860 ...securing the bucket... 1085 00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:43,240 ...with the goods inside it. 1086 00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:44,300 Like... 1087 00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:45,900 ...maybe there's a little man... 1088 00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:46,360 ...inside it. 1089 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,780 But he does have a tendency... 1090 00:35:50,780 --> 00:35:51,820 ...to turn nasty... 1091 00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:52,900 ...so we might have to be... 1092 00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:53,860 ...very cautious here... 1093 00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:54,180 ...with what we're... 1094 00:35:54,180 --> 00:35:55,200 ...has a tendency... 1095 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,200 ...broadcasting here. 1096 00:35:56,300 --> 00:35:57,300 ...to turn nasty. 1097 00:35:57,300 --> 00:35:58,620 ...with awkward customers. 1098 00:36:00,620 --> 00:36:01,220 That's it. 1099 00:36:01,300 --> 00:36:02,080 No different. 1100 00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:04,760 We decided to see... 1101 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:05,520 ...what would happen... 1102 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:06,820 ...if we made a purchase... 1103 00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:07,680 ...and then complained. 1104 00:36:08,100 --> 00:36:09,260 Try before you buy. 1105 00:36:09,620 --> 00:36:10,380 So we do. 1106 00:36:10,380 --> 00:36:11,940 Try before you buy. 1107 00:36:12,020 --> 00:36:12,580 What are these orange? 1108 00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:15,420 I thought it was a snow globe... 1109 00:36:15,420 --> 00:36:16,500 ...the way they were shaking it. 1110 00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:16,820 But it's... 1111 00:36:16,820 --> 00:36:17,900 ...try before you buy. 1112 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:18,940 So we... 1113 00:36:18,940 --> 00:36:19,700 ...it's perfume. 1114 00:36:22,140 --> 00:36:22,540 ...do. 1115 00:36:23,380 --> 00:36:23,700 Okay. 1116 00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:25,100 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 1117 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:25,660 That's lovely. 1118 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,980 But when we test the perfume... 1119 00:36:27,980 --> 00:36:28,500 ...it stinks. 1120 00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:30,260 And when we complain... 1121 00:36:30,260 --> 00:36:31,260 ...Collins erupts. 1122 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,220 ...ten pounds each of you... 1123 00:36:33,220 --> 00:36:34,080 ...one of them. 1124 00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:35,180 ...ten of you don't. 1125 00:36:35,220 --> 00:36:35,820 What would you want? 1126 00:36:35,820 --> 00:36:37,020 That's not the real McCoy, man. 1127 00:36:37,020 --> 00:36:46,740 Service with a smile. 1128 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:47,240 Nice. 1129 00:36:47,540 --> 00:36:48,600 A nice man. 1130 00:36:49,180 --> 00:36:50,620 I did my Christmas shopping. 1131 00:36:50,620 --> 00:36:53,060 I found a nice man... 1132 00:36:53,060 --> 00:36:54,860 ...outside McDonald's. 1133 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,900 And I bought some lovely perfumes... 1134 00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:58,420 ...he was a friendly man. 1135 00:36:58,420 --> 00:36:59,780 You said he was the real McCoy. 1136 00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:00,240 What do you want? 1137 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:00,720 ...ten? 1138 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,900 I don't mind. 1139 00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:04,700 I'm not arguing with you... 1140 00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:05,940 ...but don't say it's the real 1141 00:37:05,940 --> 00:37:06,540 McCoy, mate. 1142 00:37:06,540 --> 00:37:07,780 If you want to hit the wall... 1143 00:37:07,780 --> 00:37:08,920 ...we can go round the corner... 1144 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,100 ...do anything you f***ing like. 1145 00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:10,920 I can't argue with you, old 1146 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:11,220 mate. 1147 00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:12,180 That's the way... 1148 00:37:12,180 --> 00:37:12,960 That's business. 1149 00:37:13,140 --> 00:37:14,460 Old school business. 1150 00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:15,860 If you want to hit the wall... 1151 00:37:15,860 --> 00:37:16,980 ...we can go round the corner... 1152 00:37:16,980 --> 00:37:18,160 ...do anything you f***ing like. 1153 00:37:18,180 --> 00:37:18,980 I can't argue with you, old 1154 00:37:18,980 --> 00:37:19,280 mate. 1155 00:37:19,380 --> 00:37:20,080 Don't say it to me... 1156 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,040 ...it's the real McCoy, mate. 1157 00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:21,820 Go away! 1158 00:37:23,140 --> 00:37:23,720 I can't argue with you, old 1159 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:24,360 mate. 1160 00:37:24,460 --> 00:37:25,180 Don't say it to me... 1161 00:37:25,180 --> 00:37:26,140 ...it's the real McCoy, mate. 1162 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:26,900 Go away! 1163 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,420 His associate, Greenwood... 1164 00:37:31,420 --> 00:37:33,030 ...controls several of the 40 1165 00:37:33,030 --> 00:37:33,720 teams... 1166 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:35,400 ...operating on any one day... 1167 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:36,080 Look at Greenwood. 1168 00:37:36,140 --> 00:37:37,460 Look at the speed... 1169 00:37:37,460 --> 00:37:38,620 ...with which Greenwood... 1170 00:37:38,620 --> 00:37:40,620 ...is operating down there. 1171 00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:42,200 He's got another... 1172 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:43,040 ...he's got a bin... 1173 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,120 ...or a bucket underneath... 1174 00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:45,620 ...and then a basket of stuff... 1175 00:37:45,620 --> 00:37:46,740 ...on top of it as well... 1176 00:37:46,740 --> 00:37:47,660 ...and he's got a load of green... 1177 00:37:48,780 --> 00:37:49,660 ...green by name... 1178 00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:50,520 ...green by nature... 1179 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:51,680 ...green plastic bags. 1180 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:53,660 Greenwood controls... 1181 00:37:54,260 --> 00:37:54,680 ...very fast. 1182 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:55,840 ...sever of the 40 teams... 1183 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,480 ...operating on any one day... 1184 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,740 ...who take more than... 1185 00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:00,120 ...3 million pounds a year. 1186 00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:02,660 Using surveillance footage... 1187 00:38:02,660 --> 00:38:03,540 ...westminster Trading 1188 00:38:03,540 --> 00:38:04,340 Standards Officer... 1189 00:38:04,340 --> 00:38:05,340 ...Gary Cullymore... 1190 00:38:05,340 --> 00:38:07,220 ...explains how the sting works. 1191 00:38:08,220 --> 00:38:09,340 This man, who is... 1192 00:38:09,340 --> 00:38:09,780 Oh, nice. 1193 00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:11,200 ...Peter Leslie Greenwood... 1194 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:12,340 ...the organiser... 1195 00:38:12,340 --> 00:38:14,140 ...he occasionally will... 1196 00:38:14,140 --> 00:38:15,980 ...circulate some of the goods... 1197 00:38:15,980 --> 00:38:17,340 ...which have been bought by... 1198 00:38:17,340 --> 00:38:18,340 ...people working for him... 1199 00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:21,020 ...but his primary role... 1200 00:38:21,020 --> 00:38:23,900 ...is to organise the team... 1201 00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:26,580 ...and to look after... 1202 00:38:26,580 --> 00:38:27,580 ...what will become... 1203 00:38:27,580 --> 00:38:28,420 ...a very, very... 1204 00:38:28,420 --> 00:38:29,580 He heard the synth... 1205 00:38:29,580 --> 00:38:40,580 ...considerable amount of money... 1206 00:38:40,580 --> 00:38:42,580 ...these four girls... 1207 00:38:42,580 --> 00:38:43,580 ...are all... 1208 00:38:43,580 --> 00:38:45,260 ...paid by the organiser... 1209 00:38:45,260 --> 00:38:46,260 ...to entice members... 1210 00:38:46,260 --> 00:38:47,260 ...members of the public... 1211 00:38:47,260 --> 00:38:48,260 ...like this gentleman here... 1212 00:38:48,260 --> 00:38:49,260 ...to... 1213 00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:50,420 ...they are decoys... 1214 00:38:50,420 --> 00:38:52,260 ...he's got three decoy ladies... 1215 00:38:52,260 --> 00:38:53,260 ...anonymous... 1216 00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:53,260 ...anonymous... 1217 00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:54,380 ...thank you very much... 1218 00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:55,260 ...buy... 1219 00:38:55,260 --> 00:38:57,260 ...they pass the goods... 1220 00:38:57,260 --> 00:38:58,540 ...that they have... 1221 00:38:58,540 --> 00:38:59,700 ...appear to have bought... 1222 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:00,870 ...to the girl in the cheque 1223 00:39:00,870 --> 00:39:01,500 shirt... 1224 00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:02,360 ...she is now... 1225 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:02,940 ...for instance... 1226 00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:03,940 ...taking some... 1227 00:39:03,940 --> 00:39:05,380 ...of what the other girls... 1228 00:39:05,380 --> 00:39:05,800 ...just bought... 1229 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:06,940 ...back to the cellar... 1230 00:39:06,940 --> 00:39:07,700 ...and it will be... 1231 00:39:07,700 --> 00:39:08,680 ...tipped back... 1232 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,380 ...into the tray... 1233 00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:11,040 ...here is the... 1234 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:11,940 ...back to the cellar... 1235 00:39:11,940 --> 00:39:12,360 ...heavy... 1236 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:13,240 ...duty... 1237 00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:14,120 ...fag smokery... 1238 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:14,880 ...going on as well... 1239 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:15,440 ...look... 1240 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:16,480 ...and it will be... 1241 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,600 ...in every scene... 1242 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,220 ...everyone's got... 1243 00:39:18,220 --> 00:39:18,960 ...got a cigarette... 1244 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,040 ...tipped back... 1245 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:20,420 ...into the... 1246 00:39:20,420 --> 00:39:21,180 ...good old days... 1247 00:39:21,180 --> 00:39:22,630 ...before health and safety 1248 00:39:22,630 --> 00:39:23,360 stuff... 1249 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:24,500 ...here is the girl... 1250 00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:25,460 ...coming back... 1251 00:39:25,460 --> 00:39:26,860 ...to the organiser... 1252 00:39:26,860 --> 00:39:28,140 ...she is already in possession... 1253 00:39:28,140 --> 00:39:29,320 ...of a considerable amount of 1254 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:29,860 money... 1255 00:39:29,860 --> 00:39:31,860 ...they can take... 1256 00:39:31,860 --> 00:39:33,480 ...a phenomenal amount of money... 1257 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:34,340 ...in a short time... 1258 00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:53,260 ...a short time... 1259 00:39:53,260 --> 00:39:56,660 ...thank you... 1260 00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:58,260 ...thank you very much there... 1261 00:39:58,260 --> 00:39:59,280 ...Frank Drebin... 1262 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,280 ...fascinating stuff... 1263 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,280 ...so lucrative... 1264 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:05,660 ...is the perfume game... 1265 00:40:05,660 --> 00:40:06,440 ...that the gangs... 1266 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,220 ...quickly resort... 1267 00:40:07,220 --> 00:40:08,720 ...to threats and abuse... 1268 00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:09,120 ...lovely... 1269 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:09,960 ...trading standards... 1270 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:10,860 ...officers are treated... 1271 00:40:10,860 --> 00:40:11,660 ...with contempt... 1272 00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:12,860 ...we're filming... 1273 00:40:12,860 --> 00:40:13,460 ...as they try... 1274 00:40:13,460 --> 00:40:14,360 ...to make a seizure... 1275 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:15,060 ...without... 1276 00:40:15,060 --> 00:40:16,280 ...in step sports... 1277 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,280 ...is after you... 1278 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:22,580 ...in step sports... 1279 00:40:22,580 --> 00:40:23,680 ...today... 1280 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:24,980 ...if you've got a fucking... 1281 00:40:24,980 --> 00:40:26,300 ...great instep... 1282 00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:27,500 ...and its officers are treated... 1283 00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:28,000 ...with contempt... 1284 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,380 ...they have the inside edge... 1285 00:40:29,380 --> 00:40:31,680 ...on all the best... 1286 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,680 ...runners and footwear... 1287 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:33,960 ...trainers... 1288 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,380 ...without police help... 1289 00:40:35,380 --> 00:40:36,260 ...there's no policeman with 1290 00:40:36,260 --> 00:40:36,680 them... 1291 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,080 ...there's no police with them... 1292 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,680 ...oh can I find one... 1293 00:40:40,680 --> 00:41:04,580 ...not having the power... 1294 00:41:04,580 --> 00:41:05,280 ...of arrest... 1295 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:06,480 ...makes life difficult... 1296 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:15,280 ...he was a friendly man... 1297 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:16,780 ...I bought some stuff... 1298 00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:17,280 ...from him... 1299 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,680 ...he said that I was a mug... 1300 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,280 ...and then he slapped me... 1301 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:22,580 ...thank you very much there 1302 00:41:22,580 --> 00:41:23,180 Lisa... 1303 00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:23,800 ...for the tip... 1304 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:24,980 ...can you shout out to Bob... 1305 00:41:24,980 --> 00:41:26,580 ...it's his 34th... 1306 00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:27,780 ...birthday today... 1307 00:41:27,780 --> 00:41:29,280 ...happy birthday Bob... 1308 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,580 ...he was a lovely man... 1309 00:41:32,580 --> 00:41:33,780 ...I seen him outside... 1310 00:41:33,780 --> 00:41:34,880 ...in step sports... 1311 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,880 ...I bought some stuff... 1312 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,810 ...and then he fucking slapped 1313 00:41:38,810 --> 00:41:39,680 me... 1314 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:40,180 ...he still... 1315 00:41:40,180 --> 00:41:40,880 ...tugged my money... 1316 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,680 ...what part of this... 1317 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:42,680 ...cork wind out... 1318 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,680 ...there was no receipt Pat... 1319 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:46,180 ...there was no receipt... 1320 00:41:46,180 --> 00:41:47,380 ...I asked for a receipt... 1321 00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:48,680 ...and he beat me up... 1322 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:52,780 ...la la la la la... 1323 00:41:52,780 --> 00:41:53,880 ...we've been on the road... 1324 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,180 ...for 10 days now... 1325 00:41:55,180 --> 00:41:55,880 ...and have seen... 1326 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,180 ...dozens of customers... 1327 00:41:57,180 --> 00:41:59,280 ...so... 1328 00:41:59,280 --> 00:41:59,980 ...how many do you want? 1329 00:41:59,980 --> 00:42:02,180 ...we're at the moment... 1330 00:42:02,180 --> 00:42:02,680 ...I'm just saying... 1331 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:03,980 ...this is Jason Webb... 1332 00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:04,780 ...from Tamworth... 1333 00:42:04,780 --> 00:42:07,580 ...he places a regular... 1334 00:42:07,580 --> 00:42:08,580 ...monthly order... 1335 00:42:08,580 --> 00:42:09,080 ...webby... 1336 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:09,780 ...works out... 1337 00:42:09,780 --> 00:42:10,580 ...marketing... 1338 00:42:10,580 --> 00:42:11,080 ...like... 1339 00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:11,580 ...we're running about... 1340 00:42:11,580 --> 00:42:12,280 ...a couple of... 1341 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:12,880 ...thousand a month... 1342 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:13,580 ...maybe a thousand a week... 1343 00:42:13,580 --> 00:42:14,580 ...Jason Webb... 1344 00:42:14,580 --> 00:42:15,580 ...nicknamed... 1345 00:42:15,580 --> 00:42:16,580 ...Spider... 1346 00:42:16,580 --> 00:42:17,680 ...works out... 1347 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:18,180 ...marketing... 1348 00:42:18,180 --> 00:42:18,580 ...like... 1349 00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:19,380 ...we're running about... 1350 00:42:19,380 --> 00:42:19,580 ...up to... 1351 00:42:19,580 --> 00:42:20,080 ...a couple of... 1352 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:20,780 ...thousand a month... 1353 00:42:20,780 --> 00:42:22,080 ...maybe a thousand a week... 1354 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,080 A couple of thousand a week 1355 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,600 We've now travelled over 5,000 1356 00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:27,740 miles 1357 00:42:27,740 --> 00:42:29,320 Lots and lots of shots of them 1358 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,620 on fucking depressing grey 1359 00:42:31,620 --> 00:42:33,600 motorways 1360 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,060 Files and our order book is 1361 00:42:35,060 --> 00:42:36,660 touching the million pound 1362 00:42:36,660 --> 00:42:38,920 A million pound in 1997 1363 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,760 I don't know where the sound 1364 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:41,920 has gone for this 1365 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,400 Maybe whoever Cook reports the 1366 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,780 channel wasn't allowed to put 1367 00:42:46,780 --> 00:42:47,780 the sound on 1368 00:42:47,780 --> 00:42:50,590 Maybe they'd extended or they'd 1369 00:42:50,590 --> 00:42:53,140 run out of fucking copyright 1370 00:42:53,140 --> 00:42:56,690 For the entirety of the Only Fools 1371 00:42:56,690 --> 00:42:59,000 and Horses theme tune 1372 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,520 Only Tools and Corpses, thank 1373 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:01,200 you very much 1374 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:05,980 So this obviously had some sort 1375 00:43:05,980 --> 00:43:07,860 of tune to it 1376 00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:11,380 It's a bizarre sort of montage 1377 00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:16,130 Very kind of the sun sort of ITV 1378 00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:17,040 daily sport 1379 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,280 Vives about it 1380 00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:23,900 And I don't know what it means 1381 00:43:23,900 --> 00:43:24,720 I don't know what they're 1382 00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:25,180 trying to say 1383 00:43:25,180 --> 00:43:27,020 I think maybe with the money 1384 00:43:27,020 --> 00:43:28,400 that they're making 1385 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,780 They pay for all this stuff 1386 00:43:29,780 --> 00:43:32,460 What does it all mean? 1387 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,880 It's very glamorous, that's all 1388 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:37,400 we do know 1389 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:43,320 They're living the life 1390 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:51,730 Back in Oxford Street, we have 1391 00:43:51,730 --> 00:43:52,930 a business proposition for 1392 00:43:52,930 --> 00:43:54,220 another of Greenwood's 1393 00:43:54,220 --> 00:43:54,900 associates 1394 00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:57,380 I mean yeah, if they bought all 1395 00:43:57,380 --> 00:43:59,280 that stuff and they're showing 1396 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:00,660 us all the stuff they bought 1397 00:44:00,660 --> 00:44:02,770 Then I just don't understand 1398 00:44:02,770 --> 00:44:04,780 what the necessity was to do 1399 00:44:04,780 --> 00:44:08,770 this with these ladies in this 1400 00:44:08,770 --> 00:44:09,960 scene 1401 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,260 Because 1402 00:44:11,260 --> 00:44:13,680 Yeah, we can see what they 1403 00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:14,360 bought 1404 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,450 Did they buy the three-piece 1405 00:44:16,450 --> 00:44:17,520 suite as well? 1406 00:44:17,820 --> 00:44:19,460 I thought that this is like a 1407 00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:21,300 scene, like a prelude to a 1408 00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:21,780 sting 1409 00:44:21,780 --> 00:44:23,600 Whereby they're showing us the 1410 00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,340 room that they're setting up 1411 00:44:25,340 --> 00:44:26,410 Where then they're going to 1412 00:44:26,410 --> 00:44:26,780 make a deal 1413 00:44:26,780 --> 00:44:28,060 I don't know 1414 00:44:28,060 --> 00:44:31,050 Back in Oxford Street, we have 1415 00:44:31,050 --> 00:44:33,730 a business proposition for 1416 00:44:33,730 --> 00:44:36,000 another of Greenwood's 1417 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,260 associates 1418 00:44:37,260 --> 00:44:39,900 We asked him if he can fill a 1419 00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:42,900 big Christmas order for Snide 1420 00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:45,820 perfume from a local factory 1421 00:44:45,820 --> 00:44:47,630 I'm in London, I definitely 1422 00:44:47,630 --> 00:44:49,680 want them, I've got the money, 1423 00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:50,990 I've got the money in here, in 1424 00:44:50,990 --> 00:44:51,480 my wallet 1425 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,930 The deal is done and he goes to 1426 00:44:53,930 --> 00:44:56,180 collect our order from his 1427 00:44:56,180 --> 00:44:57,400 secret stash 1428 00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,770 The deal is done so I better be 1429 00:45:00,770 --> 00:45:01,740 leaving 1430 00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:05,160 We arrive to take delivery 1431 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,880 Nice car, whatever that Ford 1432 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,280 Like an estate or station wagon 1433 00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:13,500 Soho Square 1434 00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:15,950 I don't think anyone can take 1435 00:45:15,950 --> 00:45:18,070 any notice of us here, they're 1436 00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:18,940 all loading and unloading 1437 00:45:18,940 --> 00:45:20,100 There's lots of lids and vans 1438 00:45:20,100 --> 00:45:20,540 around us 1439 00:45:20,540 --> 00:45:22,230 Are these fake, is he fake this 1440 00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:22,800 fella? 1441 00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,380 And are these the real, the 1442 00:45:25,380 --> 00:45:27,600 real dodgeballers? 1443 00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:29,370 And is he like the decoy 1444 00:45:29,370 --> 00:45:30,340 octopus? 1445 00:45:30,340 --> 00:45:33,000 Well I don't think anyone can 1446 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,910 take any notice of us here, 1447 00:45:35,910 --> 00:45:38,880 they're all loading and unloading 1448 00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:39,990 There's lots of lids and vans 1449 00:45:39,990 --> 00:45:40,440 around us 1450 00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:41,940 F*** knows, I don't know what 1451 00:45:41,940 --> 00:45:42,360 that is 1452 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,040 There's vans all over the 1453 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:44,960 bloody place 1454 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,920 It feels like Beatles about in 1455 00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:48,460 some parts of it as well 1456 00:45:48,460 --> 00:45:51,000 It's like they've seen the 1457 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,790 camera, he's actually looking 1458 00:45:52,790 --> 00:45:53,930 at the f***ing camera that's 1459 00:45:53,930 --> 00:45:54,440 filming him 1460 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,190 It's obviously not a spy camera, 1461 00:45:56,190 --> 00:45:56,740 it's a big 1462 00:45:56,740 --> 00:45:58,900 You know, to get that kind of 1463 00:45:58,900 --> 00:46:01,330 quality, probably is a good big 1464 00:46:01,330 --> 00:46:01,920 camera 1465 00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:03,420 You know, this is the moment 1466 00:46:03,420 --> 00:46:04,880 that you should have split 1467 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:06,810 When you saw the dodgy camera 1468 00:46:06,810 --> 00:46:08,940 in the f***ing shop opposite 1469 00:46:08,940 --> 00:46:10,220 you behind the glass 1470 00:46:10,220 --> 00:46:13,130 Probably a moment just to go, 1471 00:46:13,130 --> 00:46:14,230 right, well let's get out of 1472 00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:15,280 here, this is not good 1473 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:23,920 There's vans all over the 1474 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:28,340 bloody place 1475 00:46:28,340 --> 00:46:29,820 So this is in a van 1476 00:46:29,820 --> 00:46:33,590 That's a great little situation 1477 00:46:33,590 --> 00:46:34,300 there 1478 00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:37,500 The moment you should have left 1479 00:46:37,500 --> 00:46:40,000 I don't know what that is 1480 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,600 There's vans 1481 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,160 I don't know what that is 1482 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:45,100 And a great cover because he's 1483 00:46:45,100 --> 00:46:45,860 operating 1484 00:46:45,860 --> 00:46:47,750 He's flying by the seat of his 1485 00:46:47,750 --> 00:46:48,180 pants 1486 00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:49,960 He has to say something 1487 00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,920 And what he comes up with is 1488 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:53,690 Don't worry about it, there's vans 1489 00:46:53,690 --> 00:46:55,140 flying all over the place 1490 00:46:55,140 --> 00:46:55,920 And it works 1491 00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:58,390 Well I don't think anyone can 1492 00:46:58,390 --> 00:47:00,620 take any notice of us here 1493 00:47:00,620 --> 00:47:01,940 How is the audio picking them 1494 00:47:01,940 --> 00:47:02,080 up? 1495 00:47:02,220 --> 00:47:03,940 I think he, this guy here in 1496 00:47:03,940 --> 00:47:05,060 the big green coat 1497 00:47:05,060 --> 00:47:06,560 All loading and unloading 1498 00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,200 And the tie and the purple 1499 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:08,600 shirt 1500 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,870 I think he's wearing a covert 1501 00:47:11,870 --> 00:47:13,020 radio mic 1502 00:47:13,020 --> 00:47:14,630 So that's picking them up, you 1503 00:47:14,630 --> 00:47:14,860 know 1504 00:47:14,860 --> 00:47:16,630 So this guy is our decoy 1505 00:47:16,630 --> 00:47:17,300 octopus 1506 00:47:17,300 --> 00:47:21,430 These guys should just leave 1507 00:47:21,430 --> 00:47:21,980 now 1508 00:47:21,980 --> 00:47:30,650 They brought us over 300 1509 00:47:30,650 --> 00:47:39,040 bottles of counterfeit Tommy 1510 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,780 CKB and Chanel No. 5 1511 00:47:41,780 --> 00:47:42,910 Keen to conclude the 1512 00:47:42,910 --> 00:47:44,060 transaction quickly 1513 00:47:44,060 --> 00:47:45,320 And load our vehicle 1514 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,040 Counterfeit Tommy 1515 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:51,360 But we brought along with us 1516 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,000 Gary Cullymore and a colleague 1517 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,360 From Westminster Trading 1518 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:54,940 Standards 1519 00:47:54,940 --> 00:47:55,420 Lovely 1520 00:47:55,420 --> 00:47:56,720 Neither of the crooks feels 1521 00:47:56,720 --> 00:47:57,500 like hanging around 1522 00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,640 Oh yeah, that's so fast 1523 00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:00,740 For a chat 1524 00:48:00,740 --> 00:48:04,220 So fast 1525 00:48:04,220 --> 00:48:05,940 So fast 1526 00:48:05,940 --> 00:48:07,320 So real 1527 00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:08,580 California 1528 00:48:08,580 --> 00:48:10,840 But we brought along with us 1529 00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:18,480 Gary Cullymore and a colleague 1530 00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:19,860 From Westminster Trading 1531 00:48:19,860 --> 00:48:20,440 Standards 1532 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:21,700 Neither of the crooks 1533 00:48:21,700 --> 00:48:26,920 Good luck 1534 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,820 See you later, let's 1535 00:48:29,820 --> 00:48:33,400 Leaves all the product behind 1536 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,300 All the money is gone now 1537 00:48:35,300 --> 00:48:37,720 See you later, man 1538 00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:38,770 I'm going to go to the next 1539 00:48:38,770 --> 00:48:41,100 door, man 1540 00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:42,750 I'm going to go to the next 1541 00:48:42,750 --> 00:48:43,100 door, man 1542 00:48:43,100 --> 00:48:43,100 I'm going to go to the next 1543 00:48:43,100 --> 00:48:43,100 door, man 1544 00:48:43,100 --> 00:48:43,760 I'm going to go to the next 1545 00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:44,100 door, man 1546 00:48:44,100 --> 00:48:44,760 I'm going to go to the next 1547 00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:45,100 door, man 1548 00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:45,760 I'm going to go to the next 1549 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:46,100 door, man 1550 00:48:46,100 --> 00:48:46,760 I'm going to go to the next 1551 00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:47,100 door, man 1552 00:48:47,100 --> 00:48:47,760 I'm going to go to the next 1553 00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:48,100 door, man 1554 00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:48,100 I'm going to go to the next 1555 00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:48,100 door, man 1556 00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:48,760 I'm going to go to the next 1557 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:49,100 door, man 1558 00:48:49,100 --> 00:48:49,760 I'm going to go to the next 1559 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:50,100 door, man 1560 00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:50,760 I'm going to go to the next 1561 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:51,100 door, man 1562 00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:51,760 I'm going to go to the next 1563 00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:52,100 door, man 1564 00:48:52,100 --> 00:48:52,760 I'm going to go to the next 1565 00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:53,100 door, man 1566 00:48:53,100 --> 00:48:53,760 I'm going to go to the next 1567 00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:54,100 door, man 1568 00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:54,100 I'm going to go to the next 1569 00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:54,100 door, man 1570 00:48:54,100 --> 00:49:08,340 I'm going to go to the next 1571 00:49:08,340 --> 00:49:14,480 door, man 1572 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,720 Chat 1573 00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,380 Chat, right there 1574 00:49:17,380 --> 00:49:24,930 Is there another fellow in the 1575 00:49:24,930 --> 00:49:27,840 truck that says chicks on it? 1576 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:28,800 I don't know what that means 1577 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,100 They've left the car behind and 1578 00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:30,940 everything, look 1579 00:49:30,940 --> 00:49:35,620 Oh, it says hicks 1580 00:49:35,620 --> 00:49:36,820 I thought it said chicks 1581 00:49:36,820 --> 00:50:06,800 *music* 1582 00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:13,800 *music* 1583 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:27,800 *music* 1584 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,420 Looks like Larry Magids from 1585 00:50:29,420 --> 00:50:31,160 Computer Chronicles, bit of a 1586 00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,040 crossover reference there. I 1587 00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:34,540 don't think too many people 1588 00:50:34,540 --> 00:50:35,800 really would be aware. 1589 00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,020 But it's like a kind of... an 1590 00:50:39,020 --> 00:50:40,800 English maggots. 1591 00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,420 Identities we're not absolutely 1592 00:50:42,420 --> 00:50:43,840 sure of, but they're known to 1593 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:45,280 us as street traders on Oxford 1594 00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:45,800 Street. 1595 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,170 Who are involved themselves not 1596 00:50:47,170 --> 00:50:48,390 only in the distribution and 1597 00:50:48,390 --> 00:50:49,800 supply of Count Dook Perfume, 1598 00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:51,660 but also sell it themselves on 1599 00:50:51,660 --> 00:50:52,800 Oxford Street. 1600 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:53,800 *music* 1601 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,640 Street value about three and a 1602 00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:56,800 half thousand. 1603 00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:00,800 *music* 1604 00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:12,800 *music* 1605 00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:13,800 *music* 1606 00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:14,800 *music* 1607 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:15,800 *music* 1608 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:16,800 *music* 1609 00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:17,800 *music* 1610 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:18,800 *music* 1611 00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:19,800 *music* 1612 00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:20,800 *music* 1613 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:21,800 *music* 1614 00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:22,800 *music* 1615 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:23,800 *music* 1616 00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:24,800 *music* 1617 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:25,800 *music* 1618 00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:26,800 *music* 1619 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:27,800 *music* 1620 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:28,800 *music* 1621 00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:29,800 *music* 1622 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:30,800 *music* 1623 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:31,800 *music* 1624 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:32,800 *music* 1625 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:33,800 *music* 1626 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:34,800 *music* 1627 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:35,800 *music* 1628 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,720 Not assaulting him or anything 1629 00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:41,800 he's just a barrier you know. 1630 00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,800 A shoulder man. 1631 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,420 We've been watching you for 1632 00:51:49,420 --> 00:51:49,800 weeks. 1633 00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:51,800 We've been watching you. 1634 00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,540 And the scared shoppers as they're 1635 00:51:54,540 --> 00:51:56,800 being barged out the way. 1636 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,800 Great style on that fella. 1637 00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:05,800 In the midst of all the chaos. 1638 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,800 Look at this fella. 1639 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:09,800 Great style. 1640 00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:11,800 Great style. 1641 00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,800 And that's dexterous. 1642 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:19,800 Movement there. 1643 00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,800 Very agile movement. 1644 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:24,800 And look at the action. 1645 00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:25,800 Smooth as you like. 1646 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:27,800 That vault. 1647 00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,800 Top shop. 1648 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:31,800 Boom. 1649 00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,050 That hand doing a lot of the 1650 00:52:34,050 --> 00:52:34,800 work. 1651 00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:36,800 It's used as a lever. 1652 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,800 And a vault. 1653 00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:39,800 Device. 1654 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:40,800 It's like a vaulting lever. 1655 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:42,800 It offers security. 1656 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,800 Stability. 1657 00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,800 And. 1658 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:47,800 Operates. 1659 00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,800 As the perfect launch device. 1660 00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,800 And jeans are an essential. 1661 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,800 All round. 1662 00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:56,800 Bit of kit. 1663 00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:58,660 If you want to be out on the 1664 00:52:58,660 --> 00:53:00,800 street doing this sort of stuff. 1665 00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:01,800 The jeans. 1666 00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:03,710 Give you that sort of freedom 1667 00:53:03,710 --> 00:53:04,800 of maneuvering. 1668 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:05,800 And movement. 1669 00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,440 Whilst also maintaining an air 1670 00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:09,800 of civility. 1671 00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,800 At the same time. 1672 00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:13,800 Bit of cover like you know. 1673 00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:14,800 And then boom. 1674 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,800 Down the back. 1675 00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,800 Down the back of the bus. 1676 00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:19,800 He can run. 1677 00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:20,800 But he can't hide. 1678 00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:21,800 That's nice. 1679 00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:22,800 But he can't hide. 1680 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:23,800 It's lovely stuff. 1681 00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:24,800 It really is. 1682 00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:25,800 But he can't hide. 1683 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:26,800 But he can't hide. 1684 00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,040 It's lovely stuff, it really is. 1685 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:48,560 But he can't hide. 1686 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:52,040 La la la la. 1687 00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:54,290 Here's the one who's driving me 1688 00:53:54,290 --> 00:53:55,040 by son. 1689 00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:57,950 Why do only fours and horses 1690 00:53:57,950 --> 00:53:58,880 work? 1691 00:53:59,100 --> 00:54:00,060 La la la la. 1692 00:54:00,060 --> 00:54:01,850 At the end of the day, our Delboy 1693 00:54:01,850 --> 00:54:03,570 and Rodney could have moved out 1694 00:54:03,570 --> 00:54:05,600 of Hookie Street into Millionaire's 1695 00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:06,080 Row. 1696 00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:08,610 They've taken orders of over 1.3 1697 00:54:08,610 --> 00:54:09,900 million pounds. 1698 00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:10,360 Unreal. 1699 00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:16,370 But we've not just been selling, 1700 00:54:16,370 --> 00:54:20,300 we've been buying. 1701 00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:21,910 And back in Leicester, our 1702 00:54:21,910 --> 00:54:24,040 order of fake designer sportswear 1703 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:25,020 is ready for collection. 1704 00:54:25,020 --> 00:54:25,750 Thank you very much, Sir Marcelino's 1705 00:54:25,750 --> 00:54:26,020 Bodega. 1706 00:54:26,020 --> 00:54:27,840 Mr Singh is proud of his Adidas 1707 00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:28,600 rip-off. 1708 00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,360 He's made 157 in red, black and 1709 00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:32,020 grey. 1710 00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:36,920 Then he shows us our umbro, indistinguishable 1711 00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,360 from the real thing. 1712 00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,020 Because you know, like you hear 1713 00:54:41,020 --> 00:54:42,310 about a lot of kind of bent 1714 00:54:42,310 --> 00:54:43,860 cops when they do the sting 1715 00:54:43,860 --> 00:54:44,480 operations, 1716 00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:46,780 like the drugs go missing or 1717 00:54:46,780 --> 00:54:49,220 the product goes missing. 1718 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:50,830 I wonder, did they have the 1719 00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:52,450 blessing of the police to do 1720 00:54:52,450 --> 00:54:53,580 all this stuff? 1721 00:54:55,460 --> 00:54:56,140 You know, they would have had 1722 00:54:56,140 --> 00:54:58,590 their hands on either a lot of 1723 00:54:58,590 --> 00:55:00,880 money or a lot of goods and 1724 00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:01,520 stuff like that. 1725 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,180 I wouldn't be surprised now if 1726 00:55:03,180 --> 00:55:05,070 this is like, you know, fucking 1727 00:55:05,070 --> 00:55:06,620 over 30 years ago. 1728 00:55:06,620 --> 00:55:08,510 And the odd box might have just 1729 00:55:08,510 --> 00:55:10,330 gone missing or, you know, 1730 00:55:10,330 --> 00:55:12,230 something fell off the back of 1731 00:55:12,230 --> 00:55:14,260 a lorry into one of the cars. 1732 00:55:14,260 --> 00:55:15,380 And when the lad's making the 1733 00:55:15,380 --> 00:55:16,690 fucking thing, you know, it has 1734 00:55:16,690 --> 00:55:17,580 to have happened. 1735 00:55:17,580 --> 00:55:18,700 I see, you know. 1736 00:55:20,620 --> 00:55:21,660 Sam is busy today. 1737 00:55:22,060 --> 00:55:23,220 Yeah, it's working. 1738 00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,520 Lovely creak on that as well. 1739 00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:29,900 You don't want to hear that creak 1740 00:55:29,900 --> 00:55:31,120 when you're in the middle of a 1741 00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,820 fucking counterfeit operation. 1742 00:55:33,180 --> 00:55:34,420 Yeah, it's working. 1743 00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:39,960 It's working. 1744 00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:51,290 Mr. and Mrs. Singh, Roger Cook, 1745 00:55:51,290 --> 00:55:55,460 Central Television. 1746 00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:58,980 Mr. and Mrs. Singh, Roger Cook, 1747 00:55:58,980 --> 00:56:01,260 Central Television. 1748 00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:02,690 So this is where you make your 1749 00:56:02,690 --> 00:56:04,200 counterfeit goods, is it? 1750 00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:05,120 Sorry? 1751 00:56:05,340 --> 00:56:06,560 This is where you make your 1752 00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:07,580 counterfeit goods. 1753 00:56:09,500 --> 00:56:09,880 The Umbro goods that we, or our 1754 00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:12,190 undercover man, ordered from 1755 00:56:12,190 --> 00:56:12,800 you. 1756 00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:15,940 These are all counterfeit goods. 1757 00:56:16,900 --> 00:56:18,360 You're breaking the law, aren't 1758 00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:18,720 you? 1759 00:56:18,720 --> 00:56:19,940 Yeah, I don't know. 1760 00:56:19,940 --> 00:56:20,440 I don't know. 1761 00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:21,880 You do know. 1762 00:56:22,140 --> 00:56:23,180 Listen, you're making yourself 1763 00:56:23,180 --> 00:56:24,200 look extremely silly. 1764 00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:25,830 Because we've been filming you 1765 00:56:25,830 --> 00:56:26,740 for some time. 1766 00:56:26,980 --> 00:56:28,760 And you admit, on film we 1767 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,080 already have, that you know 1768 00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:32,240 this is illegal. 1769 00:56:32,500 --> 00:56:34,220 These are snide goods. 1770 00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:36,140 Bit of snide. 1771 00:56:36,780 --> 00:56:38,070 Nothing wrong with a bit of snide, 1772 00:56:38,070 --> 00:56:39,420 every now and again. 1773 00:56:40,100 --> 00:56:41,660 We've all done a bit of snide. 1774 00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:43,440 The law. 1775 00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:45,980 And they're quality, quality 1776 00:56:45,980 --> 00:56:47,500 pieces as well. 1777 00:56:49,820 --> 00:56:50,340 Shitstoppers, I used to call 1778 00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:51,080 them. 1779 00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,590 Because they had the kind of 1780 00:56:53,590 --> 00:56:56,310 elasticated bit on the ankle, 1781 00:56:56,310 --> 00:56:57,400 you know. 1782 00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,170 That would really be tight on 1783 00:56:59,170 --> 00:57:00,020 the ankle. 1784 00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:01,920 Umbro. 1785 00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:03,140 The law. 1786 00:57:03,220 --> 00:57:06,040 You already have, that you know 1787 00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:07,820 this is illegal. 1788 00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:09,780 These are snide goods. 1789 00:57:12,240 --> 00:57:13,460 There it is, Bank's rights. 1790 00:57:13,780 --> 00:57:14,760 At least they're not like the 1791 00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:16,320 others, running away from it. 1792 00:57:16,380 --> 00:57:17,900 They're just taking the 1793 00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:20,600 punishment, the Roger Cookishment. 1794 00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:22,200 Back on the rain-soaked 1795 00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:24,210 Scottish coast, our tasty deal 1796 00:57:24,210 --> 00:57:26,360 with the Campbells is coming to 1797 00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:26,780 the boil. 1798 00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,020 The colourful language is, it's 1799 00:57:29,020 --> 00:57:31,160 real nice tabloid shit like. 1800 00:57:31,700 --> 00:57:32,780 Soaked Scottish co- 1801 00:57:32,780 --> 00:57:34,880 BELLS. 1802 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:37,830 Back on the rain-soaked 1803 00:57:37,830 --> 00:57:40,990 Scottish coast, our tasty deal 1804 00:57:40,990 --> 00:57:44,370 with the Campbells is coming to 1805 00:57:44,370 --> 00:57:45,740 the boil. 1806 00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:47,120 Lovely stuff. 1807 00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:48,320 And they keep on doing the 1808 00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:49,920 whole Campbells, like the soup. 1809 00:57:50,220 --> 00:57:51,640 It's a tasty deal. 1810 00:57:52,340 --> 00:57:52,800 Don't boil. 1811 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:54,530 I don't know why you'd boil the 1812 00:57:54,530 --> 00:57:56,300 Campbells condensed soup. 1813 00:57:56,380 --> 00:57:57,480 You'd never let it boil. 1814 00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,010 You bring it to the boil, but 1815 00:57:59,010 --> 00:57:59,940 don't let it boil. 1816 00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,220 But I mean, he's using these. 1817 00:58:02,300 --> 00:58:03,940 It's a real nice, it's very 1818 00:58:03,940 --> 00:58:05,140 rich language. 1819 00:58:05,900 --> 00:58:06,140 Rich reportage. 1820 00:58:06,140 --> 00:58:07,620 Rich reportage. 1821 00:58:07,700 --> 00:58:08,580 Scottish coast. 1822 00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:09,970 Our tasty deal with the 1823 00:58:09,970 --> 00:58:12,140 Campbells is coming to the boil. 1824 00:58:15,140 --> 00:58:16,980 What do you need now, Ron? 1825 00:58:18,980 --> 00:58:19,640 David Campbell is satisfied 1826 00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:22,000 with our goods and tells- 1827 00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:23,620 A taste you can trust. 1828 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,570 ...tells his money man to finalise 1829 00:58:25,570 --> 00:58:26,180 the deal. 1830 00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:27,930 Our hidden camera catches him 1831 00:58:27,930 --> 00:58:30,540 counting out the 25,000 pounds 1832 00:58:30,540 --> 00:58:32,320 he's brought to settle up. 1833 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:34,920 I want to have him first. 1834 00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:36,780 Who have you in the head? 1835 00:58:36,780 --> 00:58:37,300 My wife. 1836 00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:40,100 The Campbells earning a few croutons. 1837 00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:42,400 Tastes like savings. 1838 00:58:49,780 --> 00:58:51,700 How depressing it is, whether I... 1839 00:58:51,700 --> 00:58:53,050 One of their two vans is backed 1840 00:58:53,050 --> 00:58:54,140 up for the exchange. 1841 00:58:55,820 --> 00:58:57,180 Great shots, in fairness. 1842 00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:58,920 We need some more... 1843 00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:00,300 We need TV programmes to get 1844 00:59:00,300 --> 00:59:01,890 back to this as well, because I've 1845 00:59:01,890 --> 00:59:02,680 seen there... 1846 00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:04,390 Obviously, there's a lot made 1847 00:59:04,390 --> 00:59:06,300 about the whole Netflix deal 1848 00:59:06,300 --> 00:59:07,420 there during the week. 1849 00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:08,700 And... 1850 00:59:08,700 --> 00:59:09,580 But a lot of those 1851 00:59:09,580 --> 00:59:11,460 documentaries, like... 1852 00:59:11,460 --> 00:59:12,500 Yeah, they're polished and they 1853 00:59:12,500 --> 00:59:13,000 have... 1854 00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:14,460 They've got great style. 1855 00:59:14,820 --> 00:59:15,940 But where's the meat and 1856 00:59:15,940 --> 00:59:16,940 fucking veg? 1857 00:59:17,100 --> 00:59:17,760 Like, where's the... 1858 00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,370 Where's the stuff like this 1859 00:59:19,370 --> 00:59:21,260 where a fucking deal... 1860 00:59:21,260 --> 00:59:23,760 A van is being slowly reversed 1861 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:26,640 to meet another bigger van in 1862 00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:28,640 fucking Stranraa or Larn or 1863 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,120 whatever the fuck it is. 1864 00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:32,020 ...act up for the exchange. 1865 00:59:32,180 --> 00:59:33,380 With these kind of fellas, you 1866 00:59:33,380 --> 00:59:33,800 know. 1867 00:59:35,420 --> 00:59:36,210 And the first of the boxes of 1868 00:59:36,210 --> 00:59:38,580 bent gear are unloaded. 1869 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:39,500 Bent gear. 1870 00:59:40,780 --> 00:59:41,970 But the Campbells will be going 1871 00:59:41,970 --> 00:59:43,780 home empty-handed. 1872 00:59:43,780 --> 00:59:45,280 It's going to be a soup fun, no? 1873 00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:45,820 ...handed. 1874 00:59:46,100 --> 00:59:46,620 Empty-handed. 1875 00:59:46,620 --> 00:59:49,600 Here he is. 1876 00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:50,860 Here he is. 1877 00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:51,520 This is the... 1878 00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:52,140 This is what we've... 1879 00:59:52,140 --> 00:59:53,460 These are the big shots. 1880 00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:55,300 These are the big pieces. 1881 00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:57,020 So we've had three Rogers. 1882 00:59:58,100 --> 00:59:58,740 Or... 1883 00:59:58,740 --> 01:00:00,400 This is Roger number four. 1884 01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:01,380 In this one. 1885 01:00:01,860 --> 01:00:03,200 This is where he gets launched 1886 01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:04,660 out of his Roger box. 1887 01:00:05,340 --> 01:00:06,920 To Roger the baddies. 1888 01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:07,980 With his... 1889 01:00:07,980 --> 01:00:09,160 Uh... 1890 01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:09,820 Repertage. 1891 01:00:09,900 --> 01:00:11,340 His doorstep manoeuvring. 1892 01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:12,000 Empty. 1893 01:00:12,780 --> 01:00:13,480 That's why you always gotta 1894 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:14,740 keep your eyes open. 1895 01:00:16,260 --> 01:00:17,560 And watch your ass. 1896 01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:19,610 Thank you very much there, Yertie 1897 01:00:19,610 --> 01:00:21,340 Ahern, for the tip there. 1898 01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:23,080 Sorry there. 1899 01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:24,320 I know I keep going back, but 1900 01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:25,420 it's just beautiful. 1901 01:00:25,420 --> 01:00:27,560 Like, the exchanges of... 1902 01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,600 These are quality shots. 1903 01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:31,350 And it's just so real to me, 1904 01:00:31,350 --> 01:00:34,140 because the weather is so shite-like. 1905 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:35,200 You know, especially the last 1906 01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:35,660 few days. 1907 01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:36,780 You can really... 1908 01:00:36,780 --> 01:00:38,810 And look, he looks fucking 1909 01:00:38,810 --> 01:00:39,600 frozen. 1910 01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:42,120 Big man Campbell. 1911 01:00:42,500 --> 01:00:43,460 He's well-dressed. 1912 01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:44,760 Well put together. 1913 01:00:45,380 --> 01:00:46,590 Horsing the fags into him all 1914 01:00:46,590 --> 01:00:47,100 day. 1915 01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:49,980 Counting really nice-sounding wads 1916 01:00:49,980 --> 01:00:51,520 of cash in a gaff. 1917 01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:53,320 And here is the fruit of the 1918 01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:54,080 labors. 1919 01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:55,180 This is where the real... 1920 01:00:55,940 --> 01:00:57,460 Work gets done, just here. 1921 01:00:57,980 --> 01:00:58,180 It's... 1922 01:00:58,180 --> 01:00:59,960 It's indisputable crime right 1923 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:01,540 there with those shots. 1924 01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,900 We'll be going home empty-handed. 1925 01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:07,140 The raindrops on the back of 1926 01:01:07,140 --> 01:01:09,480 Roger's jacket. 1927 01:01:09,580 --> 01:01:09,740 Look. 1928 01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:11,280 It's not nice. 1929 01:01:11,340 --> 01:01:12,980 It's not a nice day at all. 1930 01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:13,600 Like... 1931 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,100 And he always has that same 1932 01:01:15,100 --> 01:01:16,680 colour jacket on as well. 1933 01:01:16,820 --> 01:01:17,600 It's a trademark... 1934 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:18,600 Cream... 1935 01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:20,840 I don't know what you call that. 1936 01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:22,280 A bomber jacket or what. 1937 01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:25,960 What are you guys doing with 1938 01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:29,400 all this hooking gear? 1939 01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:30,360 Eh? 1940 01:01:34,500 --> 01:01:35,220 Oh, fuck. 1941 01:01:35,620 --> 01:01:36,270 Sorry, I just need to go to the 1942 01:01:36,270 --> 01:01:37,000 jacks for a sec. 1943 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,000 Moondust... 1944 01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:43,640 Moondust... 1945 01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:44,140 Moondust... 1946 01:01:44,140 --> 01:01:46,980 Moondust is still a problem. 1947 01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:49,640 Moondust... 1948 01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:51,140 Moondust... 1949 01:01:51,140 --> 01:01:55,140 Moondust... 1950 01:01:55,140 --> 01:01:58,140 Moondust... 1951 01:01:58,140 --> 01:02:03,780 Moondust... 1952 01:02:03,780 --> 01:02:03,780 Moondust... 1953 01:02:03,780 --> 01:02:04,780 Moondust... 1954 01:02:04,780 --> 01:02:05,780 Moondust... 1955 01:02:05,780 --> 01:02:21,260 Moondust is still a problem. 1956 01:02:22,820 --> 01:02:23,780 Moondust... 1957 01:02:23,780 --> 01:02:25,780 Moondust... 1958 01:02:25,780 --> 01:02:26,780 Moondust... 1959 01:02:26,780 --> 01:02:29,140 Moondust 1960 01:02:29,140 --> 01:02:32,000 Moondust 1961 01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:39,780 What are you guys doing? 1962 01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:40,440 Eh? 1963 01:02:40,980 --> 01:02:41,740 It's a new 1964 01:02:41,740 --> 01:02:43,240 I haven't heard that one before 1965 01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:45,560 That's the confidence 1966 01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:48,200 That Cook has in this one here 1967 01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:50,400 This is the finale sting 1968 01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:51,860 And it's also one 1969 01:02:51,860 --> 01:02:53,500 They've worked hard to achieve 1970 01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:55,340 And they've got the shot 1971 01:02:55,340 --> 01:02:56,840 It's bang to right sort of 1972 01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:57,260 stuff 1973 01:02:57,260 --> 01:02:58,060 He knows it 1974 01:02:58,060 --> 01:02:59,700 So he can really take 1975 01:02:59,700 --> 01:03:01,080 A little bit of a liberty 1976 01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:02,640 With what he usually presents 1977 01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:03,300 As kind of a 1978 01:03:03,300 --> 01:03:04,980 A more formal kind of 1979 01:03:04,980 --> 01:03:07,280 Excuse me Mr such and such 1980 01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:09,160 Or excuse me Mr Singh 1981 01:03:09,160 --> 01:03:11,560 You know 1982 01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:12,900 Have you got a moment to speak 1983 01:03:12,900 --> 01:03:13,420 with us? 1984 01:03:13,540 --> 01:03:15,100 This is just straight out of 1985 01:03:15,100 --> 01:03:15,720 the bag 1986 01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,420 Putting them on the back foot 1987 01:03:17,420 --> 01:03:21,240 What are you guys doing 1988 01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:22,400 With all this hooky gear? 1989 01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:23,320 Eh? 1990 01:03:24,860 --> 01:03:26,120 What are you doing with all 1991 01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:27,500 this hooky gear Mr Campbell 1992 01:03:27,500 --> 01:03:28,400 That you've just bought? 1993 01:03:30,100 --> 01:03:30,940 You've just bought 1994 01:03:30,940 --> 01:03:32,140 That's being transferred into 1995 01:03:32,140 --> 01:03:32,980 your wagon 1996 01:03:32,980 --> 01:03:34,400 What was on the dash? 1997 01:03:34,940 --> 01:03:35,780 A paper 1998 01:03:35,780 --> 01:03:40,300 And a fucking radio 1999 01:03:40,300 --> 01:03:42,180 Look at that old school pocket 2000 01:03:42,180 --> 01:03:42,580 radio 2001 01:03:42,580 --> 01:03:43,460 With the antenna 2002 01:03:43,460 --> 01:03:46,120 AM radio 2003 01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:47,020 FM radio 2004 01:03:47,020 --> 01:03:48,620 You've just bought 2005 01:03:48,620 --> 01:03:48,640 You've just bought 2006 01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:49,460 That's being transferred 2007 01:03:49,460 --> 01:03:50,660 Into your wagon 2008 01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:52,260 You know who I am 2009 01:03:52,260 --> 01:03:52,800 I'm Roger Cook 2010 01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:53,660 From Central Television 2011 01:03:53,660 --> 01:03:54,640 You're buying 2012 01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:55,440 Hooky gear 2013 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:56,100 You're buying 2014 01:03:56,100 --> 01:03:56,980 Counterfeit goods 2015 01:03:56,980 --> 01:03:58,220 You've offered to deal 2016 01:03:58,220 --> 01:03:59,340 In stolen cars 2017 01:03:59,340 --> 01:03:59,940 Who? 2018 01:04:00,220 --> 01:04:00,740 You have 2019 01:04:00,740 --> 01:04:01,830 We've been filming you for 2020 01:04:01,830 --> 01:04:02,160 weeks 2021 01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:03,120 I see you're retiring 2022 01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:03,540 Thank you 2023 01:04:03,540 --> 01:04:04,600 We have 2024 01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:05,560 I'm not retiring 2025 01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:06,540 You should retire 2026 01:04:06,540 --> 01:04:06,980 Get away 2027 01:04:06,980 --> 01:04:09,660 He's known at this stage 2028 01:04:09,660 --> 01:04:10,420 1997 2029 01:04:10,420 --> 01:04:12,220 Everyone knows 2030 01:04:12,220 --> 01:04:13,020 Roger Cook 2031 01:04:13,020 --> 01:04:14,840 So he's doing well 2032 01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:15,880 Is Mr Campbell 2033 01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:17,340 In maintaining an air 2034 01:04:17,340 --> 01:04:19,640 Of kind of innocence 2035 01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:20,760 In front of 2036 01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:21,800 In face of 2037 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:22,680 You know 2038 01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:23,520 Roger Cook 2039 01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:25,220 He knows what's going on 2040 01:04:25,220 --> 01:04:26,180 Look at the amount of water 2041 01:04:26,180 --> 01:04:27,040 Like it's as if 2042 01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:27,860 There's a fucking 2043 01:04:27,860 --> 01:04:29,800 A fellow with a bucket 2044 01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:32,040 Standing there 2045 01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:33,000 Off camera 2046 01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:34,520 To kind of accentuate 2047 01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:35,180 The miserable 2048 01:04:35,180 --> 01:04:36,820 Nature of the scene 2049 01:04:36,820 --> 01:04:37,560 But it's real 2050 01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:38,100 It's all real 2051 01:04:38,100 --> 01:04:38,420 We have 2052 01:04:38,420 --> 01:04:39,360 I'm not retiring 2053 01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:40,340 You should retire 2054 01:04:40,340 --> 01:04:41,380 Get away the fuck out of that 2055 01:04:41,380 --> 01:04:42,000 That's the fuck out of that 2056 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:42,660 That's your fucking head 2057 01:04:42,660 --> 01:04:44,080 Kiss you the fucker 2058 01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:44,920 Get the fuck 2059 01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:46,240 Open that band door 2060 01:04:46,240 --> 01:04:46,840 Come on 2061 01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:47,960 Open that 2062 01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:50,140 That's what you need 2063 01:04:50,140 --> 01:04:51,540 You need an enforcer 2064 01:04:51,540 --> 01:04:54,040 You always need an enforcer 2065 01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:54,920 Hey 2066 01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:55,600 Fuck off 2067 01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:56,460 You are 2068 01:04:56,460 --> 01:04:57,740 You've bought hooky gear 2069 01:04:57,740 --> 01:04:59,060 Fuck off you 2070 01:04:59,060 --> 01:04:59,980 You fucking gypsy 2071 01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:02,280 Get away from this 2072 01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:04,380 Accusations 2073 01:05:04,380 --> 01:05:06,540 Are being leveled 2074 01:05:06,540 --> 01:05:07,440 At the Cook Report 2075 01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:08,980 Team 2076 01:05:08,980 --> 01:05:09,500 Fuck off you 2077 01:05:09,500 --> 01:05:10,420 You fucking gypsy 2078 01:05:10,420 --> 01:05:12,700 Get away from this 2079 01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,840 Who are you? 2080 01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:16,340 Fuck off the fuck 2081 01:05:16,340 --> 01:05:17,900 Get away from that 2082 01:05:17,900 --> 01:05:19,060 Get away from that 2083 01:05:19,060 --> 01:05:19,060 Get away from that 2084 01:05:19,060 --> 01:05:19,460 Get away from that 2085 01:05:19,460 --> 01:05:20,460 Get away from that 2086 01:05:20,460 --> 01:05:21,060 Get away from that 2087 01:05:21,060 --> 01:05:21,940 You haven't got an answer 2088 01:05:21,940 --> 01:05:22,640 For it have you? 2089 01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:23,140 No 2090 01:05:23,140 --> 01:05:24,560 Where's he gonna go? 2091 01:05:24,560 --> 01:05:26,160 Like he walks away 2092 01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:27,660 There's nowhere to go 2093 01:05:27,660 --> 01:05:28,100 Like the 2094 01:05:28,100 --> 01:05:30,660 There's only fields 2095 01:05:30,660 --> 01:05:31,540 And rain 2096 01:05:31,540 --> 01:05:33,740 So he has to just 2097 01:05:33,740 --> 01:05:34,680 Stop 2098 01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:35,280 Realize 2099 01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:36,920 And then turn around 2100 01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:38,200 At that point 2101 01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:38,980 Right there 2102 01:05:38,980 --> 01:05:40,540 Real 2103 01:05:40,540 --> 01:05:41,860 He looks ahead of himself 2104 01:05:41,860 --> 01:05:41,860 He looks ahead of himself 2105 01:05:41,860 --> 01:05:43,580 And all he can see is just 2106 01:05:43,580 --> 01:05:45,200 Fucking fields 2107 01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:46,960 Hills and rain 2108 01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:48,280 Imagine that 2109 01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:50,180 You're trapped with Roger Cook 2110 01:05:50,180 --> 01:05:52,280 At the end of a fucking road 2111 01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,240 You have to turn back to him 2112 01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:54,840 And the worst 2113 01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:57,250 The worst reality is you have 2114 01:05:57,250 --> 01:05:58,420 to turn back to the crew 2115 01:05:58,420 --> 01:05:59,640 You haven't got an answer for 2116 01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:00,300 it have you? 2117 01:06:02,780 --> 01:06:03,220 What? 2118 01:06:03,220 --> 01:06:03,340 What? 2119 01:06:03,340 --> 01:06:06,580 Nowhere to run to baby 2120 01:06:06,580 --> 01:06:09,960 Nowhere to hide now 2121 01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:10,960 Oh yeah 2122 01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:13,040 What you're doing with all this 2123 01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:13,500 stuff 2124 01:06:13,500 --> 01:06:15,440 This illegal counterfeit goods 2125 01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:16,860 That you have bought from us 2126 01:06:16,860 --> 01:06:19,150 It's all been loaded into your 2127 01:06:19,150 --> 01:06:19,460 van 2128 01:06:19,460 --> 01:06:20,060 That's why 2129 01:06:20,060 --> 01:06:20,680 I've got a van 2130 01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:21,820 That's your van there 2131 01:06:21,820 --> 01:06:23,290 That's a hired van that you're 2132 01:06:23,290 --> 01:06:23,620 using 2133 01:06:23,620 --> 01:06:25,500 I think he tried to close the 2134 01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:25,840 door 2135 01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:27,280 And then did Roger open it 2136 01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:27,760 Or did he 2137 01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:30,160 It's as if Mr. Campbell 2138 01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:31,860 Opened the door for Roger again 2139 01:06:31,860 --> 01:06:34,730 Maybe to try and make himself 2140 01:06:34,730 --> 01:06:35,620 look innocent 2141 01:06:35,620 --> 01:06:36,960 And he opened the door back up 2142 01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:37,380 to Roger 2143 01:06:37,380 --> 01:06:38,520 What? 2144 01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:41,880 What you're doing with all this 2145 01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:42,460 stuff 2146 01:06:42,460 --> 01:06:43,160 This illegal 2147 01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:44,360 What's he doing? 2148 01:06:44,540 --> 01:06:45,840 Sorry there's a fella there 2149 01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:46,280 That just 2150 01:06:46,280 --> 01:06:47,560 Jumps 2151 01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:49,000 Out the front as well 2152 01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:49,260 What? 2153 01:06:50,540 --> 01:06:51,560 Watch just here 2154 01:06:51,560 --> 01:06:53,060 Counterfeit 2155 01:06:53,060 --> 01:06:53,840 Ulster 2156 01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:54,420 Thank you very much 2157 01:06:54,420 --> 01:06:54,780 What you're doing? 2158 01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:55,740 Look at that 2159 01:06:55,740 --> 01:06:58,740 What's he doing? 2160 01:06:58,860 --> 01:06:59,400 That lad look 2161 01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:03,560 You can imagine there'd be all 2162 01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:04,280 sorts of panic 2163 01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:06,990 In and around and surrounding 2164 01:07:06,990 --> 01:07:08,120 the van at the moment 2165 01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:09,540 I wish we had more angles 2166 01:07:09,540 --> 01:07:10,680 And we could be seeing what's 2167 01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:11,280 going on there 2168 01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:12,740 But we can't 2169 01:07:12,740 --> 01:07:13,820 Thank you very much there 2170 01:07:13,820 --> 01:07:16,380 Madman Marsden and Timothy Dalton 2171 01:07:16,380 --> 01:07:17,260 Thank you very much 2172 01:07:17,260 --> 01:07:18,420 With all this stuff 2173 01:07:18,420 --> 01:07:20,340 This illegal counterfeit goods 2174 01:07:20,340 --> 01:07:21,780 That you have bought from us 2175 01:07:21,780 --> 01:07:24,070 It's all been loaded into your 2176 01:07:24,070 --> 01:07:24,380 van 2177 01:07:24,380 --> 01:07:24,980 That's why 2178 01:07:24,980 --> 01:07:26,720 That's your van there 2179 01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:28,140 That's a hired van that you're 2180 01:07:28,140 --> 01:07:28,480 using 2181 01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:30,480 And we can prove everything we 2182 01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:30,740 say 2183 01:07:30,740 --> 01:07:32,660 You'll go to heaven won't you? 2184 01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:33,900 No I won't go to heaven 2185 01:07:33,900 --> 01:07:34,690 But you'll probably go the 2186 01:07:34,690 --> 01:07:35,000 other way 2187 01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:36,200 You'll go to heaven anyway 2188 01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:37,700 You'll make sure you won't 2189 01:07:37,700 --> 01:07:39,760 I'm going to heaven 2190 01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:42,020 I see you're going to assist me 2191 01:07:42,020 --> 01:07:42,680 to get there are you? 2192 01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:42,940 Oh no 2193 01:07:42,940 --> 01:07:43,500 Oh no 2194 01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:44,020 You're shat 2195 01:07:44,020 --> 01:07:44,500 Not me 2196 01:07:44,500 --> 01:07:46,080 Bit of shat 2197 01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:47,760 Gang had no real answers 2198 01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:49,540 Was it a kind of a veiled 2199 01:07:49,540 --> 01:07:50,540 threat? 2200 01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:51,820 Was it like you're going to go 2201 01:07:51,820 --> 01:07:52,200 to heaven 2202 01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,120 Or all nice guys go to heaven? 2203 01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:54,400 Hey 2204 01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:56,340 You'll go to heaven soon enough 2205 01:07:56,340 --> 01:07:59,780 I don't know whether or not 2206 01:07:59,780 --> 01:08:00,820 He was being 2207 01:08:00,820 --> 01:08:02,100 Because he was being nice and 2208 01:08:02,100 --> 01:08:02,460 smiley 2209 01:08:02,460 --> 01:08:03,060 When he said it 2210 01:08:03,060 --> 01:08:03,720 So I can't 2211 01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:04,810 I don't know whether or not it 2212 01:08:04,810 --> 01:08:05,380 was a threat 2213 01:08:05,380 --> 01:08:07,260 Or was it a fucking 2214 01:08:07,260 --> 01:08:08,920 A bit of 2215 01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:09,740 A bit of crack 2216 01:08:09,740 --> 01:08:10,720 Was he just having a bit of 2217 01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:11,540 crack with it like 2218 01:08:11,540 --> 01:08:13,450 And what's the name of that 2219 01:08:13,450 --> 01:08:14,520 song by the way 2220 01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:15,440 The one that goes 2221 01:08:15,440 --> 01:08:18,420 Nowhere to run to baby 2222 01:08:18,420 --> 01:08:21,260 Nowhere to hide now 2223 01:08:21,260 --> 01:08:22,920 Is it just called nowhere to 2224 01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:23,200 hide 2225 01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:24,560 Or nowhere to run is it? 2226 01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:26,920 Nowhere 2227 01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,480 To 2228 01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:29,620 Run 2229 01:08:29,620 --> 01:08:32,120 It's like a Motown is it? 2230 01:08:32,280 --> 01:08:32,560 Or a 2231 01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:37,120 Martha Reeves and the Vandellas 2232 01:08:37,120 --> 01:08:41,830 Sorry I believe it's not too 2233 01:08:41,830 --> 01:08:42,360 loud here 2234 01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:44,360 you 2235 01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:46,360 you 2236 01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:48,360 you 2237 01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:50,360 you 2238 01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:52,360 you 2239 01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:53,360 f*ck 2240 01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:54,360 stop 2241 01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:55,360 b*ck 2242 01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:56,360 oh 2243 01:08:56,360 --> 01:08:57,360 oh 2244 01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:18,360 you haven't gone 2245 01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:20,360 nowhere to hide 2246 01:09:22,360 --> 01:09:24,360 got nowhere to run 2247 01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:25,360 baby 2248 01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:27,360 nowhere to hide 2249 01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:32,360 i know you're no good for me 2250 01:09:32,360 --> 01:09:35,360 for three of you i'll never be 2251 01:09:36,360 --> 01:09:37,360 for it have you 2252 01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:38,240 the bloke can go to heaven but 2253 01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,140 you'll probably go the other 2254 01:09:39,140 --> 01:09:39,360 way 2255 01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:40,360 you'll probably 2256 01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:42,360 someone says nowhere to snide 2257 01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:44,360 uh glenn 2258 01:09:44,360 --> 01:09:46,360 very good pun there from glenn 2259 01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:49,360 nowhere to run to baby 2260 01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:52,360 nowhere to snide now honey 2261 01:09:52,360 --> 01:09:55,360 oh baby 2262 01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:56,360 oh 2263 01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:57,360 oh 2264 01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:58,360 oh 2265 01:09:58,360 --> 01:09:59,360 oh 2266 01:09:59,360 --> 01:10:00,360 gotta love the motown hits 2267 01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:02,230 and we can prove everything we 2268 01:10:02,230 --> 01:10:02,360 say 2269 01:10:02,360 --> 01:10:04,070 goody goody you'll go to heaven 2270 01:10:04,070 --> 01:10:04,360 won't you 2271 01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:05,440 no i won't go to heaven but you'll 2272 01:10:05,440 --> 01:10:06,360 probably go the other way 2273 01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:07,110 you'll go to f*ckin heaven 2274 01:10:07,110 --> 01:10:07,360 anyway 2275 01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:08,360 oh 2276 01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:09,360 you make sure you will 2277 01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:10,360 oh 2278 01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:11,360 you make 2279 01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:12,360 you make 2280 01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:14,030 did they say we make sure you 2281 01:10:14,030 --> 01:10:15,360 will or you make sure you will 2282 01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:16,360 it's real uh 2283 01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:17,360 it's 2284 01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:18,360 it's 2285 01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:20,560 it's a heavy heavy buzz it's a 2286 01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:21,360 heavy blow like 2287 01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:23,360 you make sure you will 2288 01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:24,360 you make sure you will 2289 01:10:24,360 --> 01:10:25,360 you make sure you will 2290 01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:26,360 you make sure you will 2291 01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:27,360 you make sure you will 2292 01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:28,360 panic banter 2293 01:10:28,360 --> 01:10:29,360 panic banter 2294 01:10:29,360 --> 01:10:30,360 i'm going to heaven 2295 01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:31,360 oh nice guys what are you 2296 01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:31,360 having 2297 01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:32,360 i see you're gonna assist me to 2298 01:10:32,360 --> 01:10:33,750 the rain is just making it even 2299 01:10:33,750 --> 01:10:34,360 more creepy 2300 01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:35,750 the rain is just making it even 2301 01:10:35,750 --> 01:10:36,360 more creepy 2302 01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:37,750 the rain is just making it even 2303 01:10:37,750 --> 01:10:38,360 more creepy 2304 01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:39,030 the rain is just making it even 2305 01:10:39,030 --> 01:10:39,360 more creepy 2306 01:10:39,360 --> 01:10:40,750 the rain is just making it even 2307 01:10:40,750 --> 01:10:41,360 more creepy 2308 01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:42,750 the rain is just making it even 2309 01:10:42,750 --> 01:10:43,360 more creepy 2310 01:10:43,360 --> 01:10:44,750 the rain is just making it even 2311 01:10:44,750 --> 01:10:45,360 more creepy 2312 01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:46,750 the rain is just making it even 2313 01:10:46,750 --> 01:10:47,360 more creepy 2314 01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:48,040 the rain is just making it even 2315 01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:48,360 more creepy 2316 01:10:48,360 --> 01:10:49,040 the rain is just making it even 2317 01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:49,360 more creepy 2318 01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:50,760 the rain is just making it even 2319 01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:51,360 more creepy 2320 01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:52,040 the rain is just making it even 2321 01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:52,360 more creepy 2322 01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:53,040 the rain is just making it even 2323 01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:53,360 more creepy 2324 01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:54,040 the rain is just making it even 2325 01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:54,360 more creepy 2326 01:10:54,360 --> 01:10:55,040 the rain is just making it even 2327 01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:55,360 more creepy 2328 01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:56,040 the rain is just making it even 2329 01:10:56,040 --> 01:10:56,360 more creepy 2330 01:10:56,360 --> 01:10:57,040 the rain is just making it even 2331 01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:57,360 more creepy 2332 01:10:57,360 --> 01:10:58,040 the rain is just making it even 2333 01:10:58,040 --> 01:10:58,360 more creepy 2334 01:10:58,360 --> 01:10:59,040 the rain is just making it even 2335 01:10:59,040 --> 01:10:59,360 more creepy 2336 01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:00,100 the rain is just making it even 2337 01:11:00,100 --> 01:11:00,360 more creepy 2338 01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:01,040 the rain is just making it even 2339 01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:01,360 more creepy 2340 01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:08,360 the rain is just fucking hammering 2341 01:11:08,360 --> 01:11:12,360 that's his van that's his truck 2342 01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:14,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2343 01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:15,360 the rain is just fucking hammering 2344 01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:16,360 that's his van that's his truck 2345 01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:18,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2346 01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,360 the rain is just fucking hammering 2347 01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,360 that's his van that's his truck 2348 01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:22,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2349 01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2350 01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:25,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2351 01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:26,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2352 01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:27,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2353 01:11:27,360 --> 01:11:28,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2354 01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:29,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2355 01:11:29,360 --> 01:11:30,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2356 01:11:30,360 --> 01:11:31,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2357 01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:32,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2358 01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:33,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2359 01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:34,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2360 01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:35,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2361 01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:36,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2362 01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:37,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2363 01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:38,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2364 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:39,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2365 01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:40,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2366 01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:41,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2367 01:11:41,360 --> 01:11:42,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2368 01:11:42,360 --> 01:11:43,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2369 01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:45,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2370 01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:46,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2371 01:11:46,360 --> 01:11:47,360 where's he gonna go from here? 2372 01:11:47,360 --> 01:11:48,360 where's he going? 2373 01:11:48,360 --> 01:11:49,360 where's he going? 2374 01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,010 it's just rain, rain in the 2375 01:11:51,010 --> 01:11:51,360 fields 2376 01:11:56,360 --> 01:11:57,360 off to heaven 2377 01:11:57,360 --> 01:11:59,360 off to heaven with ya 2378 01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:00,360 look at him 2379 01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:01,360 your man 2380 01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:04,360 he's just gonna go around 2381 01:12:04,360 --> 01:12:05,360 he's realised 2382 01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:06,360 he's already played this game 2383 01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:08,360 this is his second rodeo 2384 01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:09,850 so he's just gonna go around 2385 01:12:09,850 --> 01:12:10,360 this van 2386 01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:11,360 and stay there 2387 01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:12,810 cause he can't fucking walk off 2388 01:12:12,810 --> 01:12:13,360 down there 2389 01:12:13,360 --> 01:12:15,360 and that's probably more 2390 01:12:15,360 --> 01:12:17,360 cook report goons 2391 01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:18,360 at the end 2392 01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:20,360 fucking nightmare scenario 2393 01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:22,360 and you can't run 2394 01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:23,360 the thing is 2395 01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:24,360 they can't run 2396 01:12:24,360 --> 01:12:25,730 because they know that would 2397 01:12:25,730 --> 01:12:26,360 make it look even worse 2398 01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:27,860 so they're just gonna have to 2399 01:12:27,860 --> 01:12:28,360 saunter 2400 01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:30,360 in the hammering rain 2401 01:12:31,360 --> 01:12:32,360 good luck right there 2402 01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:34,360 may have many good days 2403 01:12:38,360 --> 01:12:39,360 hey David 2404 01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:40,360 good luck 2405 01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:41,730 but luck for the sodden 2406 01:12:41,730 --> 01:12:43,360 Campbells has just run out 2407 01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:49,430 19 bongo mcsween thank you very 2408 01:12:49,430 --> 01:12:51,570 much who says with nail and i 2409 01:12:51,570 --> 01:12:54,210 the director's cut extended 2410 01:12:54,210 --> 01:12:55,040 version 2411 01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:58,720 there we have hey david good 2412 01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,480 luck but luck for the sodden 2413 01:13:01,480 --> 01:13:04,400 campbells has just run out 2414 01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:06,150 our dossier on the counterfeit 2415 01:13:06,150 --> 01:13:07,740 con men is on its way we've got 2416 01:13:07,740 --> 01:13:09,280 a doss we've got a dossier 2417 01:13:09,280 --> 01:13:15,190 you'll go to heaven won't you 2418 01:13:15,190 --> 01:13:21,830 no i won't go to heaven but you'll 2419 01:13:21,830 --> 01:13:27,120 probably go the other way 2420 01:13:27,120 --> 01:13:29,320 they had to put it back in 2421 01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:29,920 again 2422 01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:33,720 what a fucking outro that is 2423 01:13:33,720 --> 01:13:37,430 you make sure you're on no i 2424 01:13:37,430 --> 01:13:41,440 won't go to heaven but you'll 2425 01:13:41,440 --> 01:13:41,760 probably go 2426 01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,830 the other way you're going to 2427 01:13:43,830 --> 01:13:46,350 heaven anyway you make sure you're 2428 01:13:46,350 --> 01:13:48,510 on thanks very much it's it's 2429 01:13:48,510 --> 01:13:48,800 only 2430 01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:50,760 been a quick it's been a quick 2431 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:52,720 blast a cook blast as i call it 2432 01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:54,850 i can't stick around but thank 2433 01:13:54,850 --> 01:13:55,360 you very 2434 01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:56,910 much for joining me on this 2435 01:13:56,910 --> 01:13:58,610 cook blast hopefully more of 2436 01:13:58,610 --> 01:14:00,240 this there's there's a load 2437 01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:01,360 more of them to come 2438 01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:04,280 good night you'll go to heaven 2439 01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:06,590 won't you no i won't go to 2440 01:14:06,590 --> 01:14:09,500 heaven but you'll probably go 2441 01:14:09,500 --> 01:14:10,320 the other way 2442 01:14:11,920 --> 01:14:12,720 we'll talk to you later on and 2443 01:14:12,720 --> 01:14:14,800 good night and remember 2444 01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:20,070 remember you'll go to heaven 2445 01:14:20,070 --> 01:14:21,760 you'll go to heaven 2446 01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:23,440 heaven anyway won't you we'll 2447 01:14:23,440 --> 01:14:25,020 see you later thank you very 2448 01:14:25,020 --> 01:14:26,730 much brap zanagan thank you 2449 01:14:26,730 --> 01:14:27,600 very much there 2450 01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:29,980 bags of trouble what's this 2451 01:14:29,980 --> 01:14:34,820 black bag sales and mock auctions 2452 01:14:34,820 --> 01:14:37,280 oh don't tempt me 2453 01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:40,010 we'll see this is on the back 2454 01:14:40,010 --> 01:14:43,980 burner for next time if it even 2455 01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:47,120 loads up maybe that's a sign 2456 01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:49,680 men with 2457 01:14:49,680 --> 01:14:52,790 their false promises on the 2458 01:14:52,790 --> 01:14:54,160 cook report 2459 01:14:56,720 --> 01:14:56,760 yeah we'll keep that one the 2460 01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:59,260 next one we'll do is bags of 2461 01:14:59,260 --> 01:15:02,130 trouble black bag sales looks 2462 01:15:02,130 --> 01:15:03,200 like it's going 2463 01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:05,460 a cracker you'll go to heaven 2464 01:15:05,460 --> 01:15:07,910 anyway it's the way i tell them 2465 01:15:07,910 --> 01:15:10,230 i'll see you later good luck i 2466 01:15:10,230 --> 01:15:11,200 thank you 2467 01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:12,570 very much there brap and bongo 2468 01:15:12,570 --> 01:15:13,860 and everybody else thank you 2469 01:15:13,860 --> 01:15:15,040 very much bye bye bye bye bye 2470 01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:16,930 otherwise you wouldn't come in 2471 01:15:16,930 --> 01:15:18,520 the shop in the first place 2472 01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:20,330 because only schmocks come in 2473 01:15:20,330 --> 01:15:22,160 here the worthless 2474 01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:24,420 promises of well-heeled con men 2475 01:15:24,420 --> 01:15:26,510 it looks good i don't want your 2476 01:15:26,510 --> 01:15:28,840 money and the sinister signs of 2477 01:15:28,840 --> 01:15:29,360 organized 2478 01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:32,160 crime behind seemingly innocent 2479 01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:34,560 shop fronts yes it looks good 2480 01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:36,960 welcome to the world of black 2481 01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:37,840 bag sales 2482 01:15:37,840 --> 01:15:41,280 and mock auctions good night 2483 01:15:41,280 --> 01:15:55,240 thank you power strike for the 2484 01:15:55,240 --> 01:16:05,840 tip thank you very much 2485 01:16:05,840 --> 01:16:20,220 me. My little bridge is so hot, 2486 01:16:20,220 --> 01:16:20,560 I can't get over it. It's so 2487 01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:20,980 wide, I can't get around it, no, 2488 01:16:20,980 --> 01:16:21,350 no where to hide, no where to 2489 01:16:21,350 --> 01:16:23,230 hide from you, babe. Just can't 2490 01:16:23,230 --> 01:16:27,040 get away from you, babe. No 2491 01:16:27,040 --> 01:16:30,740 matter how to hide. I know you're 2492 01:16:30,740 --> 01:16:34,700 no good for me, but three of 2493 01:16:34,700 --> 01:16:35,820 you are 2494 01:16:35,820 --> 01:16:39,900 never be me. No where to hide, 2495 01:16:39,900 --> 01:16:43,680 no where to hide. No where to 2496 01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:47,160 hide, no where to hide, no 2497 01:16:47,160 --> 01:16:51,950 where to hide. 90 degrees. Turn 2498 01:16:51,950 --> 01:16:56,200 90 degrees to the left, please. 2499 01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,220 Thanks.